Puzzling Times

Greetings all,

Yes I have been away.  I thought I should get out one more post for the year before both it and the decade expire.  This past year it feels like several years of experience rolled into one.  I broke with my weekly blogging tradition as I turned inward.  There are some things not meant for public eyes.

Someone once described life as a puzzle with no edge pieces and no picture on the box to look at.  I tend to agree.  One of the biggest errors I have made was comparing my puzzle to other people's.  We all get different  pieces, and what will fit together in one life will not in another.  Life is also like a puzzle in the sense that you want to look at as many pieces as possible and sort them into what you're going to assemble first, usually the edge pieces, in real life basically finding out what we're not.  Some folks go the opposite route and find out exactly who they are before finding what they aren't.  Some never get far in either direction.

I myself don't really like doing the edge pieces.  I like to pick a point that has distinction and assemble out from there.  It is not the most efficient way to begin, but life is not always about efficiency.  It would explain a lot about my path.  I work on things, pulling together skills unsure of how it will all fit together in my life.  Sometimes it doesn't or exists only as a reference point.  At other times, years may pass before certain pieces join up to form a larger picture.

Lately I have been wondering if the puzzle I've been assembling is really the picture I thought it was. That can be a painful realization at least until something new comes together.  Right now in the time between the solstice and the new year there is a bit of breathing space.  The majority of the hustle and bustle of the season has passed.  We are left with ourselves, the gifts we have given, and those we have received.  So many people get sad this time of year because they have learned that these gifts rarely change our lives.  It is the people around us that do that, as well as ourselves.  Absences around a festive table are more keenly felt.  There is a great dissonance in the artificial holiday feelings society tries to manufacture for us and the realities of our lives.  We punish ourselves for not feeling those deep holiday sentiments.  I spent my Christmas with family and close friends and we put together a puzzle.  It wasn't anything extravagant, but we got to be with each other.  I am at the point in my life where I know there is nothing that comes wrapped in any box that will gift me with joy.  Joy will come from me and my relationships.

Why am I talking about puzzles?  Well like I said, life is a kind of puzzle.  Instead of being outside of it we're in it assembling it around ourselves.  You have to step back and look at what the pieces are forming every so often or you end up going nowhere, slowly.  Also like a puzzle you can't force pieces together that just don't fit.  You end up breaking the pieces and possibly the whole picture if you do that.  Raise your hand if you've ever tried to force something to work.  (If your hand is not raised maybe you should check your honesty settings).

How about you?  In this time between time, as the old year wanes and the new year and decade waits in the wings, are you assembling the puzzle pieces of life, or are you just puzzled?  Do you know what really brings you joy? Do you know where you fit together and whom fits with you?  If not this is a good time to reflect and sort your own pieces out.  There is no picture to look at to shape the pieces only your inner vision.  Don't bury your pain, let it point you to where you lack.  From there you can hopefully chart a joyous course into a new year.

Happy Holidays,
Thomas Mooneagle

Mastery BS

Greetings all,

I hope your transition from autumn into more wintery weather is going smoothly.  I've been toying around with some things that have come up in conversation and discussion with folks and thought that it would make a good topic to write about.

In spiritual communities there is a great amount of attention given to the idea of mastery.  I myself have been caught up in it from time to time.  From a young age I wanted to achieve some form of spiritual mastery.  I built up quite an identity around being the "spiritual" one in the group.  I wanted to transcend all my limitations and break free of my circumstances. It's not that I don't still want some of that, but I have come to realize that the idea of mastery that most people are looking for or talking about is bull shit.

I wanted to become a Master of Metaphysics in order to escape my problems.  I even was able to do that with a few of the minor issues.  The fly in the ointment was that this search for mastery and perfection wasn't solving my big problems (it actually created a fair number of big ones on its own), it was just an avoidance scheme. I was wanting to magic my problems away.  Real magic doesn't work that way. It takes work and the way it changes things is by first changing you. Wanting the world to change around you while you stay exactly the same is 'magical thinking' which is not the same thing as magic.

The other problem with wanting to achieve mastery is that when you state that to the Universe as your intended desire it will deliver onto you many teachable moments.  If you survive those (I emphasize the if) it will continue to shower upon thou most holy one, more and more of these opportunities.  Which is why several years ago I decided this whole mastery idea was crazy.  Maybe some folks are called to it, but I sure as hell am not one of them.  I have instead adopted the idea of growth.  I am no longer striving for mastery, only to be better than I was.  I no longer petition to be a master, just to be part of the solution.

Why am I telling you this?  Well I have had clients come to me looking to do the same thing as I was (the thing that almost put me in the ground prematurely).  What I discovered from a few quick questions is that what they wanted was a solution to their problematic situation.  The mastery track just looked like the quick fix or it was the, "I'm tired of all this crap and don't want to have to deal with the hassles of life but don't want to die therefore I should become an incarnate all powerful being." It's a bit extreme if you ask me, and most folks in a society tend to respond with either strait jackets or torches to deal with folks approaching that level.

So how about you?  Are you focusing on spiritual perfection when you should be focusing on learning a problem solving skillset?  Are you turning inwards, only to tune out the world?  Are you looking towards becoming a shining avatar, while your issues sit festering in your unloved and unacknowledged shadow?  Well maybe you should throw out the idea of mastery with the fad diet books that promise quick results without effort.  If you are truly called to ascend beyond the personal self, well then go for it.  Just make sure you aren't doing it in a mad dash to outrun your issues.  They will catch up to you.  You can't outrun your shadow, and should the focus of the light change it will be before you larger than ever.  You don't have to be perfect, to be of service, to be worthy of love, or to justify your life.  You just have to be you in the best way you can manage right now.  Take it from one mastery drop out to another.  You matter, just as you are.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Expecto Patreon

Greetings all,

I've been busy integrating and processing what I learned and experienced on my trip.  It certainly helped me put into perspective some key points of my life that I would like to see change.  It had been a number of years since I just let myself want anything other than the basics. When a desire did arise I had excuses for the way my life was run to turn away from it.  Well, I have decided to go after what is drawing me.  If there is an obstacle, I'm looking for solutions to overcome it or sidestep it.

I have several occupations.  Apart from my holistic/shamanic practice, I also teach Tai Chi.  That is my steady income (albeit not much).  I love my students and I've come to enjoy teaching for the way it deepens my own practice as I seek to share it.   So in the past it has mostly been a perceived lack of resources that has kept me from pursuing my dreams.  This year I've set about changing that. My latest venture of creating a meditation album was a step in that direction, but I feel like Patreon will be a key part of helping me establish firm support.

For those of you who don't know.  I launched a Patreon page where folks can support me for $5 a month. Patreon is a creative funding platform that many artists, musicians, and content creators (like Youtubers) go to help them create a community of supporters so that they can continue to create.  I've adapted the model for some of my spiritual work.  Since I do weekly ceremony I simply add my patrons on the site to my prayer list.  I also wanted to do something that was just for them, so I've been doing a monthly teleconference where I do energy work for the group.  It is kind of like a longer version of one my youtube videos, the difference being it is exclusively for my patrons.

At first the idea of adding another task to my monthly calendar seemed like a chore, but this  month I really got into it. I love doing the conferences.  They are giving me lots of idea for spin off projects and future albums.  The only challenging part is scheduling amongst various timezones.  So far I have a handful of patrons, but they are made up of friends and long time clients.  I like this mode of interaction.  Sometimes I won't hear from clients for months or years.  Which says to me that I am doing good work and I have empowered them.  It is nice to have this opportunity to connect with them on a regular basis, while simultaneously receiving support to help me further my dreams.

Like many people in the service focused entrepreneur field I am challenged between wanting to keep prices low so that I can help those who really need it, and making sure I am making enough to take care of myself.  What good can I do if people can't afford my services?  Conversely how can I continue to be of service if my needs aren't met?  So I am really jazzed about my Patreon venture.  It really hits both of those issues.  I just have to build it up, but I am committed.  I was stubborn enough to make my Youtube channel into something.  It just took time.

Why am I telling you this?  Well I hope you'll show up and support the Mooneagle on Patreon for one (link at the bottom of the post).  Also it is important to reflect on support.  Where we are receiving it and giving it as well.  We do not exist in a vacuum.  Human beings need each other.  This shouldn't be seen as a weakness.  It brings us together, and together we can accomplish much more than we ever could alone.

So in the coming weeks ask yourself if you feel supported.  If not what do you need to feel supported? Start looking at ways for that support to show up in your world.  Make sure your needs are met before you go around looking to gift yourself to others.   If you find a way to do both simultaneously then dance a jig because a win win is always worth celebrating.  When we support each other we all win.  So until we meet again I hope that you have all that you need to thrive.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

p.s.  If you wish to support me on Patreon here is the link.

https://www.patreon.com/ThomasMooneagle

Restoration

Greetings all,

Well after my last post you may have wondered if I was gonna go off on a tear again.  Fear not.  I bring tidings of joy.  I have returned from my travels renewed.

For those of you who don't know I went back to the Monroe Institute 2 weeks ago to take the Heartlines program.  This was my 3rd program.  I took the Gateway Voyage the entry level residential program back in 2014.  It was 5 years and 10 lifetimes ago.  My life has changed tremendously since then.  I wrote a book, quit retail, changed teaching jobs twice, produced an album, had several loved ones pass away, and parted ways with other folks if not amicably then at least definitively.  I took Guidelines in 2017 which pointed me to Heartlines as my next foray into Monroe programs.

Okay so I should probably give you guys a bit of background.  A long time ago in a galaxy far far away there lived an ordinary man with extraordinary abilities.  He could leave his body, without dying. (That's the trick really,  I mean anyone can leave their body at least once, but to not die while doing so can be dicey for the average homo sapien).  Once he realized he was not crazy he set out to study this phenomena and the field of consciousness.  His name was Bob Monroe, hence the name of the institute.  They use binaural entrainment and hemisphere synchronization to help people enter states of altered and expanded awareness.  It's pretty nifty stuff, and right up the alley of someone like me.  So that should give you enough background information to get the gist of my journey.

So their programs do have a sort of progression where you go into higher focus levels. So of course I was approaching this like a role playing game thinking each program was like leveling up my character.  Heartlines is not in that linear progression, it does require the Gateway, but you can take it any order after that.  I found out most folks save it for last.  It is more about going within the heart and emotional body, instead of rocketing off into more ethereal realms.  Yep folks are scared to go inside that dusty old heart.  I was scared too.  I found it intimidating, luckily for me many of my shamanic classes have felt like that so I am somewhat used to the feeling of, "Oh shit what have I gotten myself into?"

I can't tell you what we did, because this program comes with a spoiler warning.  There are some things you have to go into blindly and this is one of them.  I will say it helped me to open up more, to bond strongly with folks which has been hard for me to do in the past few years.  It allowed me to accept love  into my heart and to see where my blocks originated.  (Hint, not in this lifetime). I also connected with a blue alien lover, secret lover mmmhmm.  Beyond all this I realized that this program was the reason I went to Gateway in the first place, it was to get me here.  Where is that exactly?  It's the place where I reclaim my joy, my gifts, and my space.  I am back and feistier than ever.  So long status quo, so long probability, shit is about to get weird.  Which is how I like it.

Why am I telling you all this?  Well I sought renewal and I pursued it.  I think too often in life we come to a place and think that our joy is gone for good.  I am here to tell you that's horse shit.  There is pain and suffering in this world, but there is also hope.  If we keep trying there is always a possibility for a win.  If we don't try the possibility dies in our lives.  So commit to taking care of yourself.  Take the journey,  go within.  It can be dark and scary in there so take some friends.  Venture into the dark woods together, and never split the party!  We are in this together.  You are not alone.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

The Truth of Things

Greetings all,

I should tell you a truth I've kept to myself about this blog.  Six and a half years ago is when I really doubled down and made a commitment to write.  One I kept up until this year and the passing of my last grandparent.  I started the weekly writing assignment due to another loss in my life.

I've always been very indirect about writing about personal conflicts because I've never felt comfortable attacking or calling someone out on the internet, or making someone feel uncomfortable by having their business out there for all to see.  So the identifying facts have often been obscured or omitted to protect the guilty and innocent alike.  I've never opened up about why I started these part rants part confessionals, but that ends today.

Once upon a time.....

I had a friend, a good friend, and we did everything together.  We were in business together, took trips together, and enriched each others' spiritual practices.  It had been the longest running close friendship I'd had in my life.  All told we were friends for almost nine years, and the first five or so of those years were fantastic.  It really was a 50/50 deal.  Somewhere along the way that shifted, it was gradual, so gradual I didn't realize it for a few years.  It became more like 70/30.  Still I didn't want to rock the boat because I had steady company for probably the first time ever, and if it wasn't as fulfilling for me and I had to put in more effort I was comfortable.  By this time I had along with a group of folks been supporting this friend.  We made sure they not only had food on their table but that their animals were also fed.

All this changed in 2012.  That was a big year for me all around.  I started an advanced shamanic initiation program that would go for 2 years, I rented my office, and my friend had a severe stroke. The 70/30  became 100/0.  I operated out of crisis mode for a good 8 months. Along with a team of friends, the greater shamanic and metaphysical community, and my friends's reluctant family we were able to pull them back from the brink.  I thought at the time we had saved their life, but I was wrong.

It wasn't long after one of their siblings took control of their care, that I noticed a steep decline.  There were things that were done that didn't make sense.  I thought my friend had started lying to me, it wasn't until later I realized they'd been lying for a while.  This stung. I am not the most forthcoming person, but as I look back I never once lied to them.  I did my best to keep it all together, but I kept hearing someone else's words come out of my friend.  I felt like I was talking to a puppet and their family had their hands up their ass.  When the dam broke it broke hard. A line was crossed that I couldn't ignore and I laid down some far overdue boundaries.  I was informed that my services were no longer required.  My former friend sent me a very hateful email and had one of their family members who was a lawyer draw up a friendship termination document.  Yes, they legally informed me that my friendship was done.

To say I was heartbroken is an understatement.  I felt like my world had imploded.  Beyond that, we ran in the same circles.  People were always asking after them.  I had to make a choice to withdraw completely from my community or suffer their deceit in silence.  I chose the latter.  As hurt as I was I didn't want everyone to know, because they still needed help.  Luckily the strain of seeing me at events when they expected me to run with my tail between my legs proved too much for them.  They withdrew from the community.  That was that, or so I thought.

I learned this week, that my former friend and her family had apparently been saying some things about me.  We'll just say they didn't paint me in a particularly good light.  It has been almost 7 years since my friendship was legally terminated, but not content with the pain of losing someone, they have been busy trying to tarnish my reputation.  Finding this out really opened up those old wounds.  At first I wondered if it would have been better for me to not know, but I realize now that if I hadn't found out those wounds would still be there under the surface.  The poison in them was only partially dormant.  I haven't really let people get very close to me the past few years.  The level of betrayal I felt was still affecting all of my relationships.

What I'd said in my head to comfort myself over the years was this, "Well at least we saved their life. We're not friends anymore but we did that." The thing is that we really didn't.  My friend died.  The person who is taking breaths now is not them. I don't know them.  I don't recognize the hatefulness in them.  My friend is dead, and perhaps knowing that I can let go of my anger, truly grieve, and finally heal.

Why am I telling you this?  Well I had to get it out of me.  The oblique references were no longer effective for me.  This was poison in my heart and by telling it I hope to expunge it from me and transmute it.  All of us have suffered betrayals of one form or another. Some of you reading this have probably suffered on a magnitude far greater than I can imagine. Some of you beautiful beings have even forgiven those folks who hurt you so deeply.  I have a teacher who often says, "Where is the gift?" In some ways this blog was the gift.  The hurt in me forced me to develop my voice, and that led to me writing a book, giving lectures, speaking on podcasts, and creating a meditation album.  So I guess I should thank them for what they did, but I'm not going to.

Sometimes even when people survive they die.  We should mourn them, for even if their feelings and words were a lie ours were not.  So here I am being vulnerable and honest.  I have named no names, the people in my circle know who is who and what is what.   I hope that in this telling I find peace and that in the reading you find understanding.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Molting

Greetings all,

I hope your summer has been fun so far.  I've mostly been getting things done the past few months.  I haven't done much seasonal frolicking.  My fun quotient is definitely down, but I feel like my growth quotient has been up.  I have certainly been receiving omens and signs.

The past year  I have been noticing the sounds of the seasons as they turn.  From the quiet of winter, to the songs of spring birds, and the drone and hum of insects of the summer sun.  I have been fascinated by cicadas for years.  I remember finding their empty exoskeletons as a child.  I was an adult before I saw them in their flying form.  I continue to find their empty husks on the sides of trees, but it wasn't until this summer that I saw one in between stages.  Still wearing that rigid exterior, but on the cusp of breaking free and spreading its wings.  I'd never actually seen what they look like in that husk, even though I hear them all around me in the summer.

People can be like that too.  We see them after they have broken free and soared, or before when they struggle crawling through their challenges.  It is rare that we get to see that point where the change happens, where they're still bound by limitations, but the breaks in their prison are starting to show.  I've seen it several times this summer.  I'm taking it as a sign, that though I still have a lot of struggles going on, I am close to that point where my wings burst forth and I can't be held down any longer.  I could be wrong, but it feels like I am close to achieving the kind of life I would like to live.

Of course that means right now is also a frustrating time.  It's the space where I see my dream in front of me, but I still can't seem to reach it.  Right now the temptation is to give up, start over and try something else.  If I do that though, I'll never get those wings.  That voice that lives in the darker regions of my psyche likes to say things like, "Who are you kidding, you'll never fly anyway."  At this point I don't know if that voice is lying or not, but it doesn't seem to be a kind voice.  This makes me suspicious.  Who is this voice serving?

Why am I telling you this?  Well times of transition are very powerful.  However when we don't complete the process of transformation we end up disempowered and empty.  Disillusionment is a real danger to our growth.  We have to focus and trust if we wish to emerge into a better form of living.

How about you?  Are you very close to realizing a milestone, but seem to be stuck in the last few lengths of the track?  Have you given up too soon?  Have you lost heart?  Is that little voice inside telling you it's pointless to keep trying?  Well consider this your wakeup call.  Listen to the cicadas, even the ones still in their husks.  They are there because thousands of generations before them persevered climbing the trunks of trees, lugging the heavy weight of their outer form until they could leave their burdens behind and spread their wings.  You are here because your ancestors made it, and you carry their strength within you.  Now is the time, trust, keep moving, and soon very soon, your time to fly will be upon you.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Into Being

Greetings all,

Well this summer is flying by.  I've been trying to absorb as much of the good mellow times as possible.  The warm days and gentle nights, have been quite soothing.  I've been settling into a new routine of teaching, chi kung training, and seeing clients.  The big news is that this week my first guided meditation album was released by Hemi Sync.  I still have a hard time believing how smoothly this project came together.

This past year I've been working on committing to a daily practice. I've settled on working with my energetic cords of relationship.  The idea for this album grew out of that, but also from working with clients for the past few years.  I noticed I was taking them through the same process session after session,  so I thought I would create a recording of the process and put it on my website.  Well inspiration hit and I thought, "Wait I know some of the folks at Hemi Sync, they would be able to make a much nicer recording than I could."  From that seed of an idea I created a written script which I sent off, and from that point on through revisions and contracts the manifesting of this product sprang forth.  This was my first time working collaboratively on a project like this.  I would do it again in a heartbeat.

I find it ironic though that I am doing a meditation on relationships.  That is definitely the area in my life where I have struggled the most.  There is an old belief that we end up teaching what we most need to learn.  I think most of us struggle with our relationships whether they be interpersonal or our relationship to our technology, society, or nature.  Anything I can do energetically to ease the experience is something I need to focus on.

Perhaps I should start with a bit of background on cords.  Basically in many different mystical or spiritual traditions there is the idea that cords of energy connect us to anything or anyone we relate to.  The cords are either strong and flexible, or they are weak and brittle.  I've seen some cords that look like they are diseased, or they look like vines crawling with stinging insects.  We send energy through our cords to each other, and there is a lot of subconscious telepathy that happens via those cords.  It's the phone call from a friend you had just been thinking about sort of event.  Another example is a mother's intuition, when she feels her kid is in danger or up to something.  Most of us have had some experiences like this we can point to in our own lives.

So why make a meditation about this?  Well like I said I have struggled with relationships, and many other people do too.  Once your basic needs are met, your single strongest measure of happiness is going to be the quality of your relationships.  I have been in complete joy or absolute misery depending on the company.  So seeing to the energies that underlie all those connections is crucial.

How about you?  How do you feel about your relationships?  Are they strong and vibrant, or do you feel like you need a gas mask to filter out the poison from some of them?  Do you neglect your connections, or are you neglected?  We are a least 50% responsible for our relationships and it is important that we tend to those connections.  Human beings are a social species, we do not do well in isolation.  So I wish you the best in life and in love.  If you want to purchase my album I will put the link below.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

https://hemi-sync.com/product/cords-of-light/

Cutting

Greetings all,

I've been reveling in the summer sun of late. Today I tasted the sweetness of the first ripe tomatoes of the season.  I've also been tying up a few loose ends.  Well actually cutting those end off to be more accurate.

I have in the past been one to summarily cut people out of my life.  It has been a recurring pattern.  I think initially it sprung from not being able to deal with conflict.  I have judged myself for not being able to retain many relationships.  I think I  have been too harsh with myself.  As I look back now, the people I cut out of my life were those that I tried working through conflicts, multiple times in fact.  In other cases I had a sense attempting to work through issues would be pointless because of the trauma they were carrying. After a while, you get a sense of behavioral patterns, pair that with a bit of intuitive gifts and you begin to see which avenues you should stop driving down.

Recently I have been trying to let people have their chance to work through their stuff and just distance myself without fully cutting the cord between us.  I've done this out of some misplaced idea that it was more mature. I've also had some professional entanglements which prevented a clean cut like I prefer.  After giving it a fair go and trying to remain professional without any personal ties I concluded that it didn't work.  I was attacked, undercut, and overall abused for a year before my patience reached the end of its tether.  It took a while to disentangle professionally, but I eventually was able to and I have cut fast and deeply through any remaining ties.  I didn't want to do this, but I must say I feel better already.

I am of two minds about severing ties with people.  I'd like to think that people can grow and change, and that I can forgive and work through difficulties.  I want to be fair.  (Whatever that means.)  However, I also don't want toxic people and their bullshit in my life.  Trying to balance these two perspectives can be tricky, but I believe it's something I have to attempt.  Being too scissor happy or being too allowing are both losing strategies for a fulfilling life.  I've often said, "There's only so much Mooneagle to go around."  So it is up to me to choose where and to whom I will devote my time and energy.

Why am I telling you this?  Well it is what's been on my mind.  I also think it is something most of us deal with off and on throughout  life.  Our relationships are like gardens we have to prune the plants and pull out the weeds otherwise it just becomes an impassable mess.  If you prune too much, you kill your plants.  If you don't prune away diseased leaves and branches, you kill your plants.

How about you?  Are there any areas in your relational world that need pruning?  Are you too snippy with your gardening shears?  Do you let poison ivy grow rampant through your garden?  Well I suggest you wear gloves, look at each thing rationally.  Then I suggest you look at things through the lens of emotion.  What do these views tell you?  Water your garden, deadhead your flowers, and be sure to clip carefully that which does not serve you or your loved ones.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

It's Summertime

Greetings all,

I find it funny that when I started writing this blog, I knew nobody was reading it.  There was a kind of freedom in that.  I could say what I liked.  I could work through my thoughts and feelings without having to worry about anyone using it against me or projecting themselves onto what I'd written (either correctly or incorrectly).  While I do my best to not make things personal when writing, the personal sphere seeps in.  It kind of has to for my words to have any true emotional depth behind them.  So I am re-examining how much I share of my inner workings.

My faith in humanity has been sorely tested this past few years.  While I am far from perfect I strive to be good and easy to get along with.  I should explain that I spent a majority of my life feeling very lonely.  I did not really have a group of close friends until I reached my mid twenties.  That first group soured and went bad.  After coming close to death I realized how toxic that group was for me.  I excised them from my life.  Which is a fancy way to say I burned down every connection that led back to them, no matter how tangential.  I have since gone through several iterations of that pattern to lesser or greater degree (without the dying part though, I decided that part sucked).  This blog actually started after another relationship purge that was as life altering as that first one.  So here I am once more in the midst of The Purge.  I've tried to make this one a slow controlled burn, but sometimes you just have to say fuck it and get out the kerosene.

I've asked myself what particular character flaw gets me into these situations.  What I've boiled it down to is that I am always trying to not feel lonely.  I grew up with loneliness as my constant companion.  So I've put up with a lot of toxic behavior from folks just so that I don't have to be alone.    Again this is not to say that I don't have my annoying traits (I know I do because sometimes I annoy myself), but I have experimented extensively with hanging with folks that simply tolerate me.  My experiments have concluded it is not worth it.  I end up feeling worthless and believing that I am hard to love.  So not exactly what I am looking for in my relationships with others.

Why am I telling you this?  I'm lonely, and it is by design at this point.  I've cut out anyone I have deemed toxic.   What I have done in the past is to look for new folks to fill that void, but I am trying to slow down.  It's all about quality not quantity when it comes to people.  I'm over putting up with cruelty in personal relationships (or professional ones either).  So right now I am floating in my bubble of solitude.  I don't think my need for companionship  will ever go away as it is part of being human, but I want to work on evolving how I relate to and fulfill that need.   I am not living as a monk or nun this lifetime so personal relationships will play a crucial role in the shape and pattern of my life.  As such I want to get a handle on this so I can experience different journeys going forward.

How about you?  Aside from your basic physical needs, relationships will have the greatest impact on how happy you are with your life.  Do you have any toxic people dumping chemical waste into your emotional aquifers? Are you with the people in your life just so that have somebody in your life? Do you enjoy their company?  Do you feel better or worse from your interactions?  It pays to get clarity and to prune our social contacts from time to time.  It doesn't have to be nasty or showy, you can just decide to spend less time with certain folks, or no time at all.  It is your life and your time, spend it with people you love and who love you too.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

The Rage

Greetings all,

Did I scare you?  You may have been startled if not by the picture above then by my recent rants on social media.  I'll be honest, I've been in a bad mood since late 2016.  Some of this is because of personal matters, but in greater part it is the larger pattern that society is weaving.

I have watched people delight in the torment of myself and others like me, as we view what to us looks like the fall of our civilization and species.  This is quite demoralizing, and people are enjoying it.  They couldn't be happier as we continue to poison the land, sea, and atmosphere. Right now we have concentration camps for children.  We have nazis marching in our streets.  We have a surge in violent hate crimes.  We turn a blind eye when kids ask us to protect them from military style fire arms.  So I am flaming mad.  I'm a freaking vortex of rage and molten soul fire.  I also don't have a great means of redressing such atrocities.  I have yet to succeed in creating an army of mutant warrior wizard clones of myself to hunt down the minions of corruption.  Imagine that, an army of me,  I'm not sure reality could take the strain.

So the question remains.  What to do with this rage?  I've tried being a social justice warrior on social media.  I came to realize that it was futile.  I've tried speaking with government representatives, only to have them turn a deaf ear.  I've given aid to organizations and projects I thought would help the world or at least a small corner of it.  I've worked on personal projects.  The rage remains.  It remains because every day there is a new atrocity, which the sleeping souls cheer on as a victory.  It remains because for all the many problems we face there are so many solutions that are simply being ignored.

One thing about feeling anger as an empath is that it blocks out a good deal of other people's feelings.  To quote Anansi the spider deity, "Sometimes angry gets things done."  This is true and has been true in my life, but (there's always a but somewhere) it tends to get things done with quite a mess and collateral damage.  Anger can make you feel powerful if you give yourself over to it, but I am not a Spartan warrior.  (Not this lifetime anyway, you should have seen me back then though because I was BUILT!) There are some in the spiritual community that would have you kill your anger, because it is one of the so called 'lower' emotions.  I call bullshit on that.  Anger has its place in our psyche for a reason. There are others who would tell you merge with it and set your world ablaze with your 'sacred fire'.  I have ridden the high horse of righteous fury before.  I got saddle sores.  I am seeking for a 3rd way, where I don't deny my anger nor do I let myself be ruled by it.

Why am I telling you this?  Well I have withdrawn a good bit from the social arena.  I have been quite cynical towards people in general.  I've got my guard up.  Where there is rage there is also hurt. For now I am working on healing the hurt places in myself so that I don't have to hold myself apart as much.  I want to honor my feelings and protect my heart without keeping everyone and everything out.  What I need is a bouncer at the door.  For some they will be a greeter, for others they will show them the exit.  I am to the point in my life where not everyone gets an audience.

How about you?  Are you tapped into rage?  Is it personal, societal, or existential? How are you handling it?  Are you handling it?  Do you just stuff the anger down until it bursts forth like a volcano?  Does it steal your joy and direction?  Does it give you fire to keep on burning a path forward?  What is it trying to tell you?  Listen carefully and maybe a way will be found to turn that fire into the kind of passion you can use to make a better life for yourself and others.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Falling into Fate

Greetings all,

See I have not vanished from the earth.  I live to post again!  It has been a bit though.  When I rebooted this blog and began writing weekly it was due to big upheavals in my life.  My more recent absences from the blogosphere have also been due to life changes.  So while there is still a voice in my head saying, "You haven't blogged this week."  There is another voice growing stronger of late that is saying, "Your commitment to blog was to you and you alone, you can change that arrangement if it suits you."  As such no apologies will be offered from here on about the length of time between posts.

About ten days ago I went on an adventure.  It began with the spark of inspiration back in January after a good session with a client.  I began creating a meditation based on my what has become my daily practice. At first I was simply going to record it on a conference call number and pull it into Audacity with some alpha wave surf sounds and release it on my website.  I had the glimmer of an idea though to approach some of my contacts at Hemi-sync to see if they would partner on this project.  Well fast forward a few months, and I have recorded a voice track based on the script I wrote.  Today I got to hear the sample background music that was selected to accompany it.  It's all a bit surreal.  When I started this journey years back, I never imagined it would lead here....maybe I should work on my imagination.

I should state I'm not much of a planner.  I have goals.  I try certain things.  I liken it to tossing seeds where I walk and seeing which ones come up.  Some do and some don't.  Over time I seem to be getting better at determining which seeds to toss about. To some it looks methodical and well thought out, to others it looks random, and to another group of observers it looks like I'm not doing anything.  All are correct, and all are wrong.  It seems to be me the more I let go and go with the flow, the more headway I make.  It allows me to be relaxed enough to spot opportunities without getting tunnel vision.

So why am I telling you this.  Well I am excited about recent developments, and I hope you also have something new and refreshing in your life as well.  It can be easy to stress about setting up success strategies, or to just give in to inertia and not go anywhere.  A teacher of mine once talked about the difference between fate and destiny.  A person could be fated to meet someone significant, their destiny would be what they do with that encounter.  So in the weeks that follow I suggest you go about your business with one ear to the ground for opportunities.  They may come as a bolt of inspiration, as a solution to a current problem,  or a clever refinement of something you've been doing for a while.  In other words, live and see what life offers.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Fable of the Knight

Greetings all,

It's been a hot minute hasn't it?  Spring is beginning to transition into early summer.  My best laid plans have gone awry.  I will be in the wind at the end of the month, traveling to fulfill a secret mission. Don't worry the secret will be revealed eventually, but now it is story time.

Once upon a time, there was a lonely knight.  When he was a young boy, monsters came from the dark world and tried to wound him.  He hid until he was old enough to forge a magical suit of armor.  He worked night and day forging one piece at a time.  As one piece was finished he put it on and continued on the next piece and the next.  Until one day he was completely encased in armor.  The monsters could not get him.  For a time he was pleased knowing that his protection was impenetrable.  The years went by some slowly and some flying.  Though he was now surrounded by good folk and there was only the occasional dragon, the knight forgot that he was wearing armor and so he forgot to take it off.  As time passed he forgot how to take it off, and though it kept him safe from harm it also kept him safe from feeling joy and the loving touch of others.  Soon it came to be burden, but one he did not know how to set aside.  So his greatest strength had become his greatest weakness.  When his heart was weighed down by the weight of his regret he set off through the wilderness to seek the Wizard of the Wastelands.  It was said that he knew how to free people from enchantments.

I hope you enjoyed story time.  This little fable was inspired by my own life.  As I have written before I was often bullied as a child (and occasionally as an adult but that doesn't go so well for bullies these days).  I was very sensitive and I had to teach myself to not express or show emotion, otherwise it invited further torment.  Through my different meditations and mental training techniques I was able to learn to detach from most people.  At the time it served me well and probably saved my sanity, but like most tricks it simply exchanged one set of problems for another. One of the best examples of how this has hurt me in the long run is the difficulty in taking in a compliment or anything good that someone tries to send my way.  If you have flirted with me in the past I may not have been blowing you off, it just didn't get through the armor.  (Sorry about that)

So why am I sharing this story with you?  Well it isn't so you'll feel sorry for me. (Although don't put that sort of manipulation past me, I'm tricksy).  This is a very common adaption pattern.  We armor up to protect ourselves.  We numb ourselves so we won't feel the hurt.  The problem is we don't feel the joy in life either.  I'm not judging you if you have or are currently doing this.  Like I said above this ability did save me.  The trick is to know when and how to take off our emotional armor.  Real knights tended to not sleep in their armor. Not only was it really uncomfortable, it was a bitch to pee in, and it was so heavy that if they did sleep in it they wouldn't be able to get up themselves.

How about you?  Do you live in your armor?  Do you drag yourself from one day to the other in a fog of emotional numbness?  Has joy and music left your life?  Well in the coming days look for times when you can take some of that armor off.  You can always put it back on if a toxic dragon lady or ogre man stumbles into your den.  Be gentle with yourself, for your old tears may have rusted the armor.  Be mindful not just what your are protected from, but also what you have cut yourself off from receiving.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

The Cult of the Worthy

Greetings all,

Yes it has been a while.  I do not wish to stop writing this blog, but I have had to prioritize other things.  Since my last post I have turned my pen (well keyboard) to other creative pursuits.  I have also been doing a lot of inner healing work in conjunction with the beginning phases of my next book.  There are some common themes that are rising to the surface as I do this work.

One of my earliest memories of church is one of a shouting priest, red in the face telling us all how unworthy and sinful we were.  I was the child that would hide when it came time to goto church (gee I wonder why), but only occasionally did that strategy work.  While there is some value to religious teachings, there seems to be an epidemic on how to do it wrong.  The seed that these early experiences planted in me was that I had become better to be worthy of love and attention.  This seed blossomed into a poisonous vine that choked the life out of my self worth and ability to form healthy relationships.  It also drove me from one self improvement technique to another without ever finding true acceptance.

There was an upside to this.  I've learned a vast array of meditative and mystical energy techniques throughout my life.  The core of my challenges though always come back to that feeling of being unworthy.  Unfortunately I have allowed people around me that have reinforced that core belief pattern.  I even had one former friend actually say that I didn't deserve to find love.  In their eyes I didn't measure up.  (Don't worry folks I burned that bridge quite thoroughly). At the time I didn't say anything, I  just sadly accepted their pronouncement.  Lately I've been calling out that voice in my head that tells me if I want something I have to change to be worthy.  The truth is that voice will never think I am worthy enough.  So I have decided instead to hold it under the water until it stops struggling.

There is nothing wrong with self improvement.  I just want it to come from a place of excitement and curiosity rather than from one of desperation.  The idea of worthiness and the harm it causes doesn't just end on the personal level it echoes out on the societal stage.  How many times have you asked someone about something like universal health care or educational opportunities only to have them answer back with  how this group or that group doesn't deserve it?  Of course that means none of us can benefit from it either, but some people are so married to idea that people have to be worthy that they would forego benefits for themselves rather than see someone they don't think measures up receive them.  As a teacher of mine would say, "They just shit in their own hat."  Would it be terrible if we looked out for everyone whether we thought they deserved it or not?

Why am I telling you this?  Well more than likely you have harmed yourself either through self sabotage or self esteem loss, or you have allowed others to bring you down because of this false idea of needing to be worthy.  Part of my daily practice of late has been to call in the energy of Grace.  The nice thing about Grace is it is there for all, worthiness has no part in its generosity.  When I approached the spirit of Grace directly I was told that it was in everything.  It had no form, it expresses throughout the universe in every atom, every cell, and every single soul...including yours.  It takes no sides and has no agenda.  It is simply there to uplift us all.

So how about you?  How much does the cult of worthiness ensnare your mind?  How much good do you deny yourself or others due to this hateful idea of earned benefits.  What if you just wished good for all beings whether they were 'worthy' or not?  What if you included yourself in that wish?  Try it out for a while.  Call that accusatory voice out on its bullshit, and see what happens.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

A Kind of Spring

Greetings all,

I hope you've had a lovely first week of spring.  A week ago I led a community drumming on the spring equinox.  I was not feeling like doing it, but so glad I did.  The rhythm of the drum and making prayers into a physical act is very simple, but also very powerful.

As I move forward into this new season I'm feeling layers of myself peel away.  Just as the land is thawing so too are the emotions that were frozen in stasis within my body.  I am finally getting in touch with the deep sadness and loss that has been there beneath the surface.  I've started to let it out, and while it hurts it is also a relief to my body.  It's a lot of work for the muscles and fascia to hold those feelings inside.  I'm also coming face to face with many old outmoded conflict patterns.

This summer when I journeyed to Eagle, Guardian of the East, they told me to become a man without enemies.  I thought that sounded great but I had no idea how I was going to do that.  People like to pick on me, they always have.  They like to cast me in roles as adversary when I exercise my authority and tell them no, or won't submit to them.  They do this because they perceive me as passive and easy going.  So I have continually found myself in adversarial roles with one person or another over the years.  I have cast them as 'the enemy'.  The problem with having an enemy (besides that you have an enemy) is it is too easy to give your power away to them, or project what you don't like about yourself onto them.  As you know they're the one with the problem, right?

I finally get why so many teachers have said to not hate your enemy.  When you hate someone you have given them the power to choose who you are.  I want to be kind, but if I claim someone as an enemy or hate them, whether their behavior warrants scorn or not, I've let them determine who I am. So right now I have choices to make.  I do need to respond to bad behavior in an appropriate manner when it occurs, but I don't need to mirror another person's malice and let it direct my actions and motives.  I have to choose to be kind and loving regardless of what others are doing.  I think once I consistently do that I will have become what Eagle foresaw.

Why am I telling you this?  Well we all run up against people that try to hurt us or take a dislike to us.  They can make life pretty miserable.  It is easy to be angry with them.  It's fine to be angry with someone's actions, and to take appropriate steps to address the situation.  To stay in that anger though and sit in the same soup of malice ultimately harms us more than what anyone else could do to us.  This is why so many traditions talk about forgiveness and compassion.

How about you?  Are you casting someone as the villain?  Are you allowing someone else's malicious intent to affect your own principles?  Are you deciding your actions and motives, or are you allowing the behavior of others to do that for you?  It is not easy to stay centered in an unkind world, but ultimately it is the only way to change it.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Root Work

Greetings all,

I have become erratic on posting, but I hope to get back into rhythm soon.  I have been busy doing deep work for myself which  eventually I'll bring to others.

Work on my second book is underway, and  I can hardly believe it.  Right now I am doing the research and background work, so don't expect a publication date anytime soon.  This book's focus is primarily on healing the inner self and to do so I've been testing the methods out on myself.  I am my front line beta-tester.

 Currently I am working in the chakra system, specifically the root chakra.  This one is often ignored by people who seek to raise their consciousness and transcend.  That generally leads to very shaky results in my experience.  You can experience peak moments of clarity and love, but without a stable foundation it has nowhere to ground into your body or your life, so it tends to dissipate quickly like a dream in the morning sun.  The seed of the divine spark sleeps in the root, if we work on healing and balancing the root chakra we pave the road for it to awaken the chakras above it.  The root for me represents the seat of personal identity, self worth, and being embodied.

The root if nurtured early tends to develop fairly strong, but it needs attention and more importantly acceptance.  Neglect, abuse, or constant criticism of someone's worth will damage it.  Severe trauma can also crack the root.   Sometimes this is unintentional, and other times it is a strategy used by manipulative types to project and shape a person's identity into what they desire for it.  This can lead to many long term crippling mental and emotional issues.  I've often quoted the Wandering Oracle who said, "A curse is a lie we believe about ourselves."  That lie lodges itself into the root poisoning our sense of self and worth.

So in my book in process, I am working through the chakras methodically to bring in many types of healing ceremonies and practices.  I got to act on the guidance from the first journeys I took at the beginning of the month.  The picture above is of the despacho ceremony I did dedicated to Sashamama (Serpent Mother), who rules over the root chakra in the Andean Shamanic tradition.  (The paper is red not pink, the lighting affected the photo).  This was assembled after doing a Kutti despacho which functioned as a way to get rid of all the curses, heavy energy, or any projections I was carrying.  In this case I aimed it solely at the root chakra.  I was lucky to have one of my teachers help me with this work, and I could feel the power of it building as we put the despacho bundles together.  Before starting the work I had anxiety about what was about to happen.  This is not surprising, changes in the root would change my sense of self.  I also knew that this was necessary for me to walk further down my personal path of power.

So why am I telling you this?  Well in these uncertain times, having a stable foundation is crucial.  We often just stumble on, trying to get by, afraid to dig deep into the dirt of our lives.  Many of us have weeds growing in our lives from seeds that others planted within us.  We pull at the shoots, but they keep coming back, because we haven't gotten to the root of the energies. We think we have gotten rid of one problem when up it pops again in a new place in our life.  If that keeps happening we either resign to the way things are or we go deeper.

How about you?  Is your root stable?  How much of your identity and self worth is dictated by the false projections of others?  Do you have the same problems in your life pop up again and again?  Well maybe it is time go deep and pull out of your root what doesn't belong there.  Maybe it is time that you watered your seed of divine light that sleeps there.  Your basic needs are not base, they are important, and so are you.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Door to Memory

Greetings all,

I may have taken this hiatus thing a bit far.  Let's just say I've been processing, and I continue to do so.  Right now there are no guarantees for regular updates as I am wading through a lot of emotional and interpersonal stuff.

Grief takes its own time.  The odd thing about it is how time has been playing with me.  After my grandmother passed I started thinking back on my childhood.  It's not as if I ever forgot it, but most of it I hadn't thought of in years, almost like it was someone else's childhood.  I had over the years scooped it up and put it in a room and quietly closed the door.  I don't want to give the impression that I had a horrible childhood.  I think it was rather standard.  There was some bullying and a good bit of loneliness, but nothing traumatic.

What has been coming back particularly was my early childhood in Florida.  I haven't lived there in over thirty years.  I remember the holidays, singing in the choir (yes I really did that), going to catholic school, long summer days in the pool, and the feeling of coming rain.  I also remember spending a week or two at my grandmother's house in Tennessee and catching fireflies in the evening (although we called them lightning bugs).  I remember going to visit my great aunts and uncles and also the happiness of coming home again and diving into our pool.  I can still picture the dust motes in our den in the late afternoon sun.

I left Florida when I was nine, and for the most part I didn't miss it too much as I didn't really have any friends there.  I often wonder what life would have been like if we'd never moved.  I'm glad I started there, but I don't think it would have served me to grow up there.  I am certain I would not have become Thomas Mooneagle.  I wouldn't have met the people that shaped me on my magical path.  Not the person who first gave me the idea that it was possible, nor the ones that shared their knowledge and skill with me, and not the crucial ones who showed me kindness and believed in my goodness when I most needed it.

Why am I telling you this?  Well there are gems hidden in the locked rooms of our memories.  We can easily forget the deep feelings that once filled our bodies to bursting, both pleasant and otherwise.  It is wise to open the door every so often and see how we've changed, what we've lost, and what we've gained.  The perspective of time can even help us find peace with some of the more painful memories.  The skills I've developed and use in my practice did not come about because I was a happy person.  That is often true for many of us.

How about you?  Have you locked the door to memory?  Do you start your identity halfway through your life story and ignore the first few chapters?  If Hollywood has taught us anything in the past decade it is that origin stories are powerful.  What if your memories could be the fuel to reignite your inner fire?  What if the door to the past was left ajar?  Take a stroll down memory lane and see what you find.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Scare Tactics

Greetings all,

I know it has been a few weeks.  At some point I will get on a more regular blogging schedule again, but I've been giving myself the time I've needed to move through the changes I've had these past few months.  Some things I can't yet write about in order to protect the guilty, but other things I certainly can.

This past weekend I took a road trip for work.  I'd gotten a referral from a center about someone with entities and disturbances in their home.  So I drove a couple hundred miles on Saturday to clean house.  I try to avoid doing jobs like these that are so far away, the drive is tiring, and often so is the work itself.   I took a friend with me who wants to train up so that they can field these sorts of cases in their neck of the woods.  We arrived, we assessed, and we went about our business.  The catch?  Well the place wasn't really haunted, there were no 'demons' there to torment the client.  The thing that was tormenting them was a phony psychic that had told them they were cursed and needed to purchase a $700 curse removal kit from them.  Luckily they didn't bite, however they still ended up paying me for my time (not $700 worth I can guarantee) and my travel.

If there is one thing I despise perhaps above all others, it is when people take advantage of someone's fears or insecurities.  I sincerely hope that this person's kit is worth the price because if there is justice in the world they will someday need it for themselves.  They are lucky I don't know who they are.  I wouldn't curse them, but I would make it my business to shine a light on their business dealings.  I'm quite sure they don't want the kind of attention I can bring.  To say I was furious is an understatement.   When practitioners or more than likely phony practitioners try to scare up some business they make my job much harder.  Once a person has it in their head that they are cursed the fear often will create circumstances to back up that belief.  I can do my work and clear, but if they continue to carry the fear nothing anyone can do helps.  Sometimes a person really does have a spiritual issue but due to past practitioners putting the 'Fear of God' (or the Devil) into them they never feel safe again.  Yes there are many practitioners who should be wary of meeting me in a dark alley.  (Liam Neeson is not the only one with skills).

So why am I telling you this?  Well I wanted to share my frustrations with the charlatans in my field.  I also wanted to share a word of warning.  Beware those that would stoke your fears in order to make themselves look like your salvation.   When working in the occult,  as with other fields, prices and services should be transparent.  I have a fee for me to go out and investigate, a portion of which will go towards any fee for any subsequent work I do.  I have an hourly rate which I tell people about before I go.  I let them know what to expect, and I try to be as honest as possible without going into unnecessary detail which would disturb their peace.  If the person you are working with does not do those things you may want to think twice.  Also give me their name...I'll be sure to pay them a courtesy call.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Coming into Practice

Greetings all,

I hope you are enjoying the cold winds that have brought their snowy gift to this region.  I am very grateful to have a place that is safe and warm to rest.    Much has been made about this super blood wolf moon.  I felt something deep stirring last night, but it felt like it was the powerful quiet of the snow.  It seemed to radiate energy as it fell.

Many will make noise about the power of celestial events, and they can heighten energies.  What I have been working with has been more internal.  I have a weekly practice of ceremony which I have maintained for the past 5 years.  The weekly prayers that I do have touched many lives and while I take them on as an obligation they are also a privilege.  They offer me great steadying power as I move through my life.  For a while I've been contemplating a daily practice. I knew whatever I did would have to be simple.  It would have to something I could perform anywhere.  It would also have to be able to be done quickly.  So in the past two months I have come up with something, and while I don't always remember to do it early in the day, I do get to it once a day.  I'm trying to not be a hard ass about it.

I can hear some of you thinking, "What is your practice?"  So I will describe it as best I can.  My daily practice involves me tending to my energetic cords that connect me to the world and all my relationships.  I invite the energy of Grace to move through my cords, to clear any debris or imbalanced energy.  I ask that it repair any tears or holes in them.  I ask that it remove any attachments or cords that no longer serve me.  After that I draw down light from my cord to the Source of Life.  I surround myself in that light and then invite all my guides and helpers into it to walk with me.

One of the things that prevented me from committing to a daily ritual was perfectionism.  Ideally I would do this when I woke up, or at least before I left the house.  However I have noticed the more loose I am about the practice, the more likely I am to adhere to it.  I often tell my students about Tai Chi that just 10 - 15 minutes a day is enough to see some benefits.  It is of course better to practice longer, but if they feel pressure to do that they are more likely to skip it, rationalizing that since they can't do a half hour or more it is not worth doing.  So with that practice I often will do my 15 minutes and on days where I have time or feel like doing more, I do more.  It turns the obligation into more of a treat for the self.  I'm trying to adopt that attitude for my daily spiritual practice, and it seems to be working.  If I forget to do it one day, I simply pick up the next day.  The practice is for me.  It isn't homework, nor an assignment.  It is self care.

Why am I telling you this?  Well I think we all need some sort of practice each day that centers us and brings us back into balance.  That practice doesn't have to look anything like mine.  It could be simpler or more elaborate.  It could be a short walk outside where you let go of the day.  It could be turning off your phone and lighting a candle.  It could be simply listening to some peaceful music, or it could be dancing around to your favorite rock ballad.  It doesn't matter what it is, just that it feeds your spirit.  In our society we have ways to feed just about everything except our spirit.

So how about you?  Are you consistently feeding your spirit, or are you getting by on the scraps fed to you by the human interest story on the nightly news?  Do you take a single moment to acknowledge that power that resides within you, or do you worry more about recharging your phone?  Well if you find your spirit is on the malnourished spectrum I advise you take some time to feed it.  Just take a moment or two a day to do something that is meaningful to you and your path.  If you don't know what that is, then use that moment to pose the question to your spirit.  "What simple action or practice would nourish you the most?  Please show me."  Once you find that, just try and do it each day.  Be glad when you follow through, and forgive yourself and simply start again when you forget.  Until next time...keep practicing.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Moving Slowly

Greetings all,

I hope this post finds you well and whole.  The last few weeks has been a whirlwind of change for me.  There is much that I can do now, but I find myself moving slowly.

At the end of the year, I found people were getting back in touch with me for appointments and opportunities.  I generally see a dip before the holidays and sometimes into the new year.  This time it was a blessing as it gave me time to process my recent loss.  I've had just a few clients since my grandmother's death.  What I have found is that I am still quite capable and effective, but that when I work my emotions are much more intense.  Of course it has always been that way, but I've not quite had this level of grief whilst trying to work.  It hits me both before and after a session.  So I am able to focus and give a level of service I am proud of, but the personal cost to me has been higher.  For this reason I find I am not getting as much done as I could be.

I can't tell you how many times I've had people tell me that they'd love to do what I do.  What they don't understand is just how much what I do demands of me.  I require lots of time to rebalance myself to make sure I am in integrity.  I arranged my life in a way to be of service that precludes a normal full time career with benefits and safety nets.  Plus I get all the feels, all the time.  Emotional states in me have to be watched because if they go much out of balance my physical body tends to get sick.  All while I live in a culture that actively ridicules what it is I am and do.  Still I can only be what I am.  I can only do what is in me to do.  So I do it the best way that I can. So rather than beating myself up, right now I am allowing myself more rest.  I am moving slowly.  I am re-centering until I feel strong enough to move out into the faster currents of life.

Why am I telling you this?  Well many of us get bogged down in the idea of being productive and ceaseless activity.  Some refer to this as the Cult of the Busy.  The belief goes something like this, important people are busy, good people are busy.  Therefore if you want to be good or important you must always be busy.  We were not designed for such things.  We were designed to be active, but we were also meant to rest and relax.  We need the latter to achieve the best results with the former.

So how about you?  Do you berate yourself for having human limits of energy or will?  Do you put off feeling your emotions so you can get more done?  Do you ever clear your schedule for slow time?  Well it might be a good time to start.  Give yourself time to rest, dream, and then maybe your plans can come about in their own good time.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle