Cutting

Greetings all,

I've been reveling in the summer sun of late. Today I tasted the sweetness of the first ripe tomatoes of the season.  I've also been tying up a few loose ends.  Well actually cutting those end off to be more accurate.

I have in the past been one to summarily cut people out of my life.  It has been a recurring pattern.  I think initially it sprung from not being able to deal with conflict.  I have judged myself for not being able to retain many relationships.  I think I  have been too harsh with myself.  As I look back now, the people I cut out of my life were those that I tried working through conflicts, multiple times in fact.  In other cases I had a sense attempting to work through issues would be pointless because of the trauma they were carrying. After a while, you get a sense of behavioral patterns, pair that with a bit of intuitive gifts and you begin to see which avenues you should stop driving down.

Recently I have been trying to let people have their chance to work through their stuff and just distance myself without fully cutting the cord between us.  I've done this out of some misplaced idea that it was more mature. I've also had some professional entanglements which prevented a clean cut like I prefer.  After giving it a fair go and trying to remain professional without any personal ties I concluded that it didn't work.  I was attacked, undercut, and overall abused for a year before my patience reached the end of its tether.  It took a while to disentangle professionally, but I eventually was able to and I have cut fast and deeply through any remaining ties.  I didn't want to do this, but I must say I feel better already.

I am of two minds about severing ties with people.  I'd like to think that people can grow and change, and that I can forgive and work through difficulties.  I want to be fair.  (Whatever that means.)  However, I also don't want toxic people and their bullshit in my life.  Trying to balance these two perspectives can be tricky, but I believe it's something I have to attempt.  Being too scissor happy or being too allowing are both losing strategies for a fulfilling life.  I've often said, "There's only so much Mooneagle to go around."  So it is up to me to choose where and to whom I will devote my time and energy.

Why am I telling you this?  Well it is what's been on my mind.  I also think it is something most of us deal with off and on throughout  life.  Our relationships are like gardens we have to prune the plants and pull out the weeds otherwise it just becomes an impassable mess.  If you prune too much, you kill your plants.  If you don't prune away diseased leaves and branches, you kill your plants.

How about you?  Are there any areas in your relational world that need pruning?  Are you too snippy with your gardening shears?  Do you let poison ivy grow rampant through your garden?  Well I suggest you wear gloves, look at each thing rationally.  Then I suggest you look at things through the lens of emotion.  What do these views tell you?  Water your garden, deadhead your flowers, and be sure to clip carefully that which does not serve you or your loved ones.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle