I hope you've had a lovely first week of spring. A week ago I led a community drumming on the spring equinox. I was not feeling like doing it, but so glad I did. The rhythm of the drum and making prayers into a physical act is very simple, but also very powerful.
As I move forward into this new season I'm feeling layers of myself peel away. Just as the land is thawing so too are the emotions that were frozen in stasis within my body. I am finally getting in touch with the deep sadness and loss that has been there beneath the surface. I've started to let it out, and while it hurts it is also a relief to my body. It's a lot of work for the muscles and fascia to hold those feelings inside. I'm also coming face to face with many old outmoded conflict patterns.
This summer when I journeyed to Eagle, Guardian of the East, they told me to become a man without enemies. I thought that sounded great but I had no idea how I was going to do that. People like to pick on me, they always have. They like to cast me in roles as adversary when I exercise my authority and tell them no, or won't submit to them. They do this because they perceive me as passive and easy going. So I have continually found myself in adversarial roles with one person or another over the years. I have cast them as 'the enemy'. The problem with having an enemy (besides that you have an enemy) is it is too easy to give your power away to them, or project what you don't like about yourself onto them. As you know they're the one with the problem, right?
I finally get why so many teachers have said to not hate your enemy. When you hate someone you have given them the power to choose who you are. I want to be kind, but if I claim someone as an enemy or hate them, whether their behavior warrants scorn or not, I've let them determine who I am. So right now I have choices to make. I do need to respond to bad behavior in an appropriate manner when it occurs, but I don't need to mirror another person's malice and let it direct my actions and motives. I have to choose to be kind and loving regardless of what others are doing. I think once I consistently do that I will have become what Eagle foresaw.
Why am I telling you this? Well we all run up against people that try to hurt us or take a dislike to us. They can make life pretty miserable. It is easy to be angry with them. It's fine to be angry with someone's actions, and to take appropriate steps to address the situation. To stay in that anger though and sit in the same soup of malice ultimately harms us more than what anyone else could do to us. This is why so many traditions talk about forgiveness and compassion.
How about you? Are you casting someone as the villain? Are you allowing someone else's malicious intent to affect your own principles? Are you deciding your actions and motives, or are you allowing the behavior of others to do that for you? It is not easy to stay centered in an unkind world, but ultimately it is the only way to change it.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
Excellent piece Thomas! Thank you! HUGS!
ReplyDelete