The Rage

Greetings all,

Did I scare you?  You may have been startled if not by the picture above then by my recent rants on social media.  I'll be honest, I've been in a bad mood since late 2016.  Some of this is because of personal matters, but in greater part it is the larger pattern that society is weaving.

I have watched people delight in the torment of myself and others like me, as we view what to us looks like the fall of our civilization and species.  This is quite demoralizing, and people are enjoying it.  They couldn't be happier as we continue to poison the land, sea, and atmosphere. Right now we have concentration camps for children.  We have nazis marching in our streets.  We have a surge in violent hate crimes.  We turn a blind eye when kids ask us to protect them from military style fire arms.  So I am flaming mad.  I'm a freaking vortex of rage and molten soul fire.  I also don't have a great means of redressing such atrocities.  I have yet to succeed in creating an army of mutant warrior wizard clones of myself to hunt down the minions of corruption.  Imagine that, an army of me,  I'm not sure reality could take the strain.

So the question remains.  What to do with this rage?  I've tried being a social justice warrior on social media.  I came to realize that it was futile.  I've tried speaking with government representatives, only to have them turn a deaf ear.  I've given aid to organizations and projects I thought would help the world or at least a small corner of it.  I've worked on personal projects.  The rage remains.  It remains because every day there is a new atrocity, which the sleeping souls cheer on as a victory.  It remains because for all the many problems we face there are so many solutions that are simply being ignored.

One thing about feeling anger as an empath is that it blocks out a good deal of other people's feelings.  To quote Anansi the spider deity, "Sometimes angry gets things done."  This is true and has been true in my life, but (there's always a but somewhere) it tends to get things done with quite a mess and collateral damage.  Anger can make you feel powerful if you give yourself over to it, but I am not a Spartan warrior.  (Not this lifetime anyway, you should have seen me back then though because I was BUILT!) There are some in the spiritual community that would have you kill your anger, because it is one of the so called 'lower' emotions.  I call bullshit on that.  Anger has its place in our psyche for a reason. There are others who would tell you merge with it and set your world ablaze with your 'sacred fire'.  I have ridden the high horse of righteous fury before.  I got saddle sores.  I am seeking for a 3rd way, where I don't deny my anger nor do I let myself be ruled by it.

Why am I telling you this?  Well I have withdrawn a good bit from the social arena.  I have been quite cynical towards people in general.  I've got my guard up.  Where there is rage there is also hurt. For now I am working on healing the hurt places in myself so that I don't have to hold myself apart as much.  I want to honor my feelings and protect my heart without keeping everyone and everything out.  What I need is a bouncer at the door.  For some they will be a greeter, for others they will show them the exit.  I am to the point in my life where not everyone gets an audience.

How about you?  Are you tapped into rage?  Is it personal, societal, or existential? How are you handling it?  Are you handling it?  Do you just stuff the anger down until it bursts forth like a volcano?  Does it steal your joy and direction?  Does it give you fire to keep on burning a path forward?  What is it trying to tell you?  Listen carefully and maybe a way will be found to turn that fire into the kind of passion you can use to make a better life for yourself and others.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle