tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17288201777889390832024-03-13T21:17:54.718-07:00The Musing of the MooneagleA place for me to share my observations on the spirit paths I walk. Thomas Mooneaglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12131599242620025491noreply@blogger.comBlogger411125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1728820177788939083.post-65210939498977146622023-08-13T20:31:00.001-07:002023-08-13T20:31:12.567-07:00Mindset and Timing<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-gxAFM7ugXI-n4l-n89mKufSrqwmf7UJAJ0HBG8HplHAbxbX3Tb4MAQL8M4FsKklkYgujgLx-xoPKjVy2rKCKWjQVFjIZVZ0IknwcxyeaQUrccsYgbrb9UZnTQpY4cloqu8WOWUnw6Nf_EKJIc2BGaC9bAo6Pk473_a30mGyx6-WqSdbYTvE49wOkdkh0/s1080/Untitled%20design-6.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-gxAFM7ugXI-n4l-n89mKufSrqwmf7UJAJ0HBG8HplHAbxbX3Tb4MAQL8M4FsKklkYgujgLx-xoPKjVy2rKCKWjQVFjIZVZ0IknwcxyeaQUrccsYgbrb9UZnTQpY4cloqu8WOWUnw6Nf_EKJIc2BGaC9bAo6Pk473_a30mGyx6-WqSdbYTvE49wOkdkh0/s320/Untitled%20design-6.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /> Greetings all,<p></p><p><br /></p><p>It's been a long time coming. The past few years has seen me blogging less and less. My focus has shifted inward since 2019. For those 10s of people that actually still read blogs I should put this in context. At the end of 2018 my last grandparent died. They were 98 at the time so it was not unexpected, in fact I had been given a heads up the summer before that they would be passing in the winter. I often told people it would have been greedy to ask for more time. Still it was a huge adjustment. I spent most of 2019 trying to grieve and rebalance and see what I wanted to do. When 2020 hit I was planning to finally expand and take my business to the next level. I was scheduled to teach a workshop in Manhattan in May of 2020...well we all know what happened next.</p><p><br /></p><p>When covid hit I withdrew from the world. I mean most of us did. (Some delusional people refused to alter their lives at all). I was let go from most of my teaching jobs, and I wasn't able to see clients. My income fell to almost nothing. I was completely isolated for over a year. I literally went almost a year and half without a single hug or human touch of any kind. Amidst all of this there was a level of political turmoil not seen since the civil war. When I finally emerged and returned to teaching in person classes I was greeted with a staggering amount of loss. At least a dozen of my students and contacts had died, and those are just the ones I know about. </p><p><br /></p><p>So during this time a lot of folks were telling me to not be sad to stay positive and work on my mindset. This was the time they said to go out there and create transformation. That didn't go over well with me. I was in grief mode and was being told that those emotions were invalid. Concurrently all of my guides had me in a holding pattern. I checked every few months after new developments and was always told the same thing, "WAIT." So I waited, and waited, and waited. I waited for over 2 years. It is only really this year where I have been green lit to get out into the world and resume some of my activities. </p><p><br /></p><p>Magic, healing, and transformation techniques can do many things. You can bend reality more than you think. What you can't do is bend the whole world because it doesn't line up with your wants and needs. Lots of the inspirational posts people would use to try and shame me into acting spiritual (in other words smiling and ignoring the shit show that the world had become) really got under my skin. I ended up having to reject all that and in some ways distance myself from my own power. It had after 2 and half years become pretty ingrained. I stopped trying to make anything happen for me, I stopped even thinking that anything could be good for me again. This was actually helpful at the time; it was a survival mechanism. It kept me safe during uncertain times. </p><p><br /></p><p>I don't want to you to think that the pandemic ruined my life. While it took away with one hand it gifted me with the other. My creativity returned in a way I hadn't seen in years. My work in the studio progressed more in those 2 years than it had in over a decade. I started writing again (obviously not in my blog) and I am close to having a first draft of my first book of short stories set in a world that I created. I became more savvy about live-streaming and teaching remotely. More importantly covid showed me what I really valued by its absence from my life. </p><p><br /></p><p>I'd been following my guidance to wait, but then when I came out of that even though I was working, I wasn't doing things for me. I wasn't allowing myself to dream of what I would like. I had become accustomed to not getting what I want. This summer I began testing the waters. My guides finally stopped telling me to wait when I asked about my plans. I traveled to see friends and teach a workshop and it went great. I've made more plans to teach workshops and expand out again. I recently had my first craft night since the before times, and I started swimming again. I am connecting with others and it is like water in the desert. </p><p><br /></p><p>Mindset does matter. It just didn't matter in the way the 'positive vibes only crowd' said it did. Mindset cannot change the world. It only change how you relate to it, and more importantly how you relate to it has to change depending on the state of the world. You can't affirm a hurricane away or visualize the tide not coming in. You can't help but lose people in your life. It's the nature of our journey, every hello is also a goodbye some day. When covid was still just a news story about a virus in China, I remember getting together with some energy practitioners to see if we could shift the energy. Each of us got told something like, "Make your peace with it, this is happening." </p><p><br /></p><p>Why am I telling you all this? Well I am coming to a place in life where I have to balance acceptance of what is, with using my abilities to get what I want. It is time to dream again while acknowledging the world and my place in it. I am having to learn when to use my energy and when to realize it isn't happening and stop wasting effort. Timing matters, there is a time be a go getter and a time to just vegetate and let others run around in circles. I might add it is not an easy lesson it requires a much less rigid mindset and temperament than I currently exhibit. Still it is important because without this balance we can spend our lives wishing for what could be instead of exploring the riches in what is around us. </p><p>So how about you? Have you found the balance between making a life and accepting what comes your way? Have you forsaken your dreams at the cost of joy? Have you abandoned all sense of shared reality for a delusion of desire? Either ends of this spectrum is fine to pass through, but a terrible place to make your home. Be kind to yourself and others as you recalibrate your life path. </p><p><br /></p><p>Peace and Blessings,</p><p>Thomas Mooneagle</p>Thomas Mooneaglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12131599242620025491noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1728820177788939083.post-76347934907394960972022-09-22T19:50:00.000-07:002022-09-22T19:50:04.278-07:00The Falling of Leaves<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXVHxwAoeL88CrTUdaSG8BOtbZep3B5sc7iNKQo9n57J_Rt3TbCxy1XqhrAEhb3Yay5fzCFffpdA4BSbmX8wwv_oSbspZ-1M0Y14Lh78XMdCTLwaLFArkyd_uhoHw5XjHiTHiFQwaAqbiFKNSLGlPcpIptwZUn3_yKc5y4YIili3Moa6EdnmBeUdlbDA/s4000/IMG_20220922_141650549.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3000" data-original-width="4000" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXVHxwAoeL88CrTUdaSG8BOtbZep3B5sc7iNKQo9n57J_Rt3TbCxy1XqhrAEhb3Yay5fzCFffpdA4BSbmX8wwv_oSbspZ-1M0Y14Lh78XMdCTLwaLFArkyd_uhoHw5XjHiTHiFQwaAqbiFKNSLGlPcpIptwZUn3_yKc5y4YIili3Moa6EdnmBeUdlbDA/s320/IMG_20220922_141650549.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>Greetings all,<p></p><p><br /></p><p>When I wrote my first post this year way back in January I didn't know when I would write again. I've had quite a few ups and a lot more downs. I also stated that I was putting my efforts towards my fiction, and I have been. That has been the shining light for me this year. I have over 60,000 words written so far. I've been building worlds and I like it. Still the past few years for me have been years of continual loss combined with a lack of in person community. This has taken a toll on my mental and physical health and grief has been my constant companion.</p><p>Today is the equinox ushering in autumn in the Northern hemisphere and spring in the lands below the equator. Fall brings in such a mix of feelings and memories for me. It is at this time when I seem to miss people the most. I long for deep meaningful companionship and closeness. I delight in the colors of the season, but also mourn the loss of the green world. Holiday season begins in the fall and with that everything that comes with it. What I have noticed in me this summer is all that is still broken, and what may always be broken in myself and in the world. That is a daunting realization. What if things don't get better? What if I fail? What if this is as good as it gets? When we come against those questions we can feel crushed. We live in a society that values winners, that rewards specialness, and that tells us only those that triumph deserve love and respect. It is deep and pernicious programming. It is difficult to fathom how much love we've withheld from ourselves and others because we didn't think it was earned yet.</p><p>As you can see my musings have been dark of late. It is why I haven't been writing them down. It is terrible from a marketing perspective. I mean I've got magic I should be able to fix anything right? I've often said if magic could solve all of your problems I wouldn't have any. You can't simply magic away feelings of not being enough. I like everybody struggle with feelings of unworthiness. It is baked into our culture. </p><p>Amidst all this I keep coming back to the same questions: how will I respond, what do I want my life to be about, what do I want to leave in my wake? All of this I put into my drumming ceremony for the equinox. Normally after I welcome the directions I do several rounds of drumming, the first is for gratitude, and then one to build energy, and finally the third to carry the prayers for myself and my community. This time I did one long round of drumming. I asked to release the grief as the trees release their leaves, that tears nourish us like the rain nourishes and renews the land. I asked that beauty be left in my wake. I asked for support. I asked for love and fellowship. I asked for peace. I asked for a path. I drummed and I walked the circle. I saw runes in the sticks on the ground, and one in particular kept forming, laguz. </p><p>For me laguz is about the bond of love between people. It is the support and nourishment we receive from nature as it is the rune of water, but it is also the nourishment we receive from fellowship. Other than our material needs for sustenance and shelter this need is paramount to life. We are not solitary creatures. Love is the sun that lights our lives. As the darker months approach and the external sun fades we need that fellowship and closeness to warm our hearts and minds as the bitter winds begin to blow. </p><p>When the world is uncertain I turn to ceremony to stabilize myself and my energy. I've drummed at the quarters of the year for a decade, and I've done a weekly rattling and prayer ceremony for almost as long. Sometimes I come away from them feeling better, sometimes I just come away from them. It is the commitment and rhythm of them over time that does the work, that helps, and in the process helps others. Ceremony was the first psychological technology, it led to religion and systems of belief, but the foundation of it was in organizing the mind and body. It brought coherence to thought and action. It gave meaning to our place in the world and the seasons. The world is complex, but there are powerful simplicities within it as well. We are complex beings, but we are also simple in our needs. We require sustenance, shelter, safety, belonging, and meaning. These are our needs. The shape they take on changes from person to person and from one society to another, but it is the truth of being human that these needs must be met to find peace and contentment.</p><p>As I drove home from my ceremony in the park today, I noticed the changing light. I saw the trees still mostly holding onto their veil of green. I felt them in a way I hadn't for a while, as if they were whispering. As if the wind moving through them was singing a song to those who had the ears to hear it. There was a sense of mutual recognition, a greeting of old friends. For me kinship with the green and growing things was enough to bring a temporary respite, a fragile peace. In these days I take what I can get even if it is ephemeral. </p><p>What about you? Is the changing season whispering words to you through the falling leaves? Are the winds stirring memories in the forest of your heart? Does Grace flow down the streams of your life blood? If you are feeling untethered go to the trees. Walk among their shade. Sit beside their roots. Greet them as dear friends. Do a kindness, and as they do themselves let go of your old leaves.</p><p>Peace and Blessings,</p><p>Thomas Mooneagle</p>Thomas Mooneaglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12131599242620025491noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1728820177788939083.post-34169929081191037582022-01-04T12:56:00.000-08:002022-01-04T12:56:06.201-08:00Structure<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgQrQMG7V1_zoa6Ev_y6t-5duh9e6Ki_L7vsJCG1wjLQvSZvDDHF3zob34MsmonqJTB7oEHUjTZhqqVS0qLp03Q_-YnXCMXiydmG9owil7mHcpz8Z-DNtEdJ8IEJLsBt9mSo4IdZ66D4LqBVo3OK4HLFwNz1HORpfn6itK9u29SloyNBZ-UvyzHxBnG8A=s1080" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgQrQMG7V1_zoa6Ev_y6t-5duh9e6Ki_L7vsJCG1wjLQvSZvDDHF3zob34MsmonqJTB7oEHUjTZhqqVS0qLp03Q_-YnXCMXiydmG9owil7mHcpz8Z-DNtEdJ8IEJLsBt9mSo4IdZ66D4LqBVo3OK4HLFwNz1HORpfn6itK9u29SloyNBZ-UvyzHxBnG8A=s320" width="320" /></a></div>Greetings all,<p></p><p>Happy New Year! I recently got a message with a generous donation thanking me for my videos and my blog. I was surprised as I didn't think anyone was reading my blog anymore. For six years I put out weekly posts, and then I lost my drive. I'm not going to recommit to a weekly post. I am putting my efforts in writing elsewhere these days, but it is a good idea to occasionally share my thoughts. The weekly posts began as a way to deal with my own internal thoughts and feelings. It was transformative in that aspect, but it also helped me develop my voice as an author. Which leads me to what I want to talk to you about.</p><p>I've been working on my 2nd book for the last 3 years. I have now laid that one aside. Fear not, I haven't stopped writing, and I may yet revisit that book. Over the pandemic I have read a lot of books, and more importantly I have gotten back in touch with my desire to tell stories Long before I wrote my first book I wrote fiction. At one point I even tried to write an epic fantasy novel with a friend. I look back on it now and think how bad that writing was. Well during my seclusion I revisited a seed of an idea I had, a world of my own that had a visual language similar to my artwork (although done much better of course). I called it Mistfall, it had been a hazy dream of an idea, until it wasn't. I have written 4 or 5 pieces set in it, and these will be part of a collection that I will publish at some point. </p><p>I've been back to in person classes since the middle of the summer, and one thing I noticed was how much less time I spent writing. I had over 2020 fallen into very unstructured uses of time. I had so much of it being isolated at home I could be loose with it and still get lots done. The past few months has seen a stalling of progress on all my creative fronts. So I finally decided to structure in time for specific projects. Just like I have hours on the calendar for my classes and events, I now have hours blocked off for writing every week. Now when I get stuck on a scene I have to play around with it at least during the time allotted. Since I put down scheduled writing time I have finished 2 stories and begun a 3rd. Seeing how well this worked I've also put down scheduled time for meditation on the calendar, and I am getting more of that in as well. </p><p>Self care or creative work was always being pushed back or put off. The thing is I need that to be able to succeed. If I want my business to succeed I need time to tend to my own passions and see to my own mental/physical health. I'm only a few weeks into this, and already I see where I need to schedule other times for leisure and rest. I like so many of us have gotten lulled into thinking that rest is something you do after achievement like a reward. The truth is rest is crucial for achievement. I had been depriving myself of it and my achievement went down not up. Currently I feel much better than I have in a while. I am resting more and getting more done. </p><p>Why am I telling you this? Well, structure matters. If we haven't been seeing to our needs or meeting our goals, odds are that we don't have a structure that supports them. In many cases, the existing structure (or lack of one) is leading us to the exact opposite of what we want in our lives. We find time for what matters to us. If we put it down on our schedules we are more likely to prioritize it and stand firm with our boundaries with other people. Trust me other people will test you on this, but if you have a 1-2PM appointment for writing, all you have to tell people is that you have a standing appointment. If you need more rest or mindfulness put a half hour nap or meditation on your schedule 4-5 days a week. If your appointment is with you and your couch honor it the same as you would a doctor's appointment. Structure can be your friend if you shape it that way.</p><p>So how about you? Are you scheduling time for your needs and goals? Are you putting your own needs last? Do you let people talk you out of the time you need for yourself? If so maybe you need to get out your calendar and block off some time. People don't need to know what you appointment is or who it is with. They may press back at first, but stay firm. Over time they will adapt and you will feel better. Which will make the time you do give to them more meaningful.</p><p>Peace & Blessings,</p><p>Thomas Mooneagle</p>Thomas Mooneaglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12131599242620025491noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1728820177788939083.post-6063489521905243372021-12-06T10:57:00.000-08:002021-12-06T10:57:04.962-08:00What We Miss<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEimHUD8wfe8GSc7-7SJJt6APYTjhal3FFnueA7uZ0SJ50MC8n9Svksbkrl5PkZVTAW57fUU63BYQCRGetEFfHE4i3OO6NfkTweGXhaH6YyTlWi00u4s7agJvaCIhEiXfMAkre8ejIuKcctBoFkliLaXa29h0RkEVhe9vG-N8j45AQui_pnQzCbA5NtwPg=s1080" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEimHUD8wfe8GSc7-7SJJt6APYTjhal3FFnueA7uZ0SJ50MC8n9Svksbkrl5PkZVTAW57fUU63BYQCRGetEFfHE4i3OO6NfkTweGXhaH6YyTlWi00u4s7agJvaCIhEiXfMAkre8ejIuKcctBoFkliLaXa29h0RkEVhe9vG-N8j45AQui_pnQzCbA5NtwPg=s320" width="320" /></a></div>Greetings all,<p></p><p><br /></p><p>The end of the year draws near. Holiday season is in full swing. The cold and dark can be challenging and the holidays while they lift some up, for many they serve as a reminder of what is missing in their lives. We often see what has yet to be healed, and perhaps what can never be again. </p><p>I tend to get down around the holidays. This springs from several things: a bit of seasonal depression, missing people who have passed away, the weird tendency to compare my holiday experience to social norms, and the stress of having to put on a happy face or be called Scrooge or the Grinch. </p><p>To those that may be in similar positions forced to play a parody of 'merry' let me give you permission to tell the joy police to go fuck right off. You are not obligated to be happy on their timetable or be festive just because it is what they want. You are you, your feelings matter even the ones you prefer not to feel. We cannot ignore the darkness around us or within us. When we do, no amount of decorating or holiday lights will brighten our hearts. </p><p>To those of you who are estranged from loved ones, I understand. The Mooneagle is no stranger to the chasms that can grow between souls. What I have learned about myself in recent days may help you navigate, or at least help you to not call your ex. I find at certain times I miss people, or miss the time when we still cared for one another. This goes for even some of the most whackadoo crazy abusive or exploitative relationships. I have to come to see that it is not the person I am missing, it is myself. I miss the person I was when I still loved them. I miss the ease of not having to be on guard from them. I miss the innocence of my own heart. </p><p>How about you? Are you struggling in the 'most wonderful time of the year'? Is your weary heart ready to have a lie down until spring? Do you find yourself exhausted for the loves you have lost? As we journey further into the darkness, let us not lose ourselves by looking for the others we have lost. Let us instead call back our loving hearts. Let us find the selves we have lost or buried with the past. Let us find the innocence lost in the darkness and gently take its hand and carry it back with us into the returning light. </p><p>Peace and Blessings,</p><p>Thomas Mooneagle</p>Thomas Mooneaglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12131599242620025491noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1728820177788939083.post-5089781596686882762021-10-26T09:37:00.001-07:002021-10-26T09:37:02.380-07:00Self Inflicted Care<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/--ggrDmnzAZ4/YXQ6NT8RcQI/AAAAAAAABUM/vSL4tKzh1PwVsvfP8TXfU1HRmbJmtFS_gCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/mesa101521.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="240" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/--ggrDmnzAZ4/YXQ6NT8RcQI/AAAAAAAABUM/vSL4tKzh1PwVsvfP8TXfU1HRmbJmtFS_gCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/mesa101521.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Greetings all,<p></p><p><br /></p><p>I've been pondering over this post for almost a week. Rather than spewing weekly blogs out, I'm waiting until I have something constructive to say. Well I've been struggling with the seemingly never ending pandemic and all that entails. I'm back to teaching in person, but I'm not yet eligible for a booster so I've been stressed. I've also struggled with self worth, and valuing my own work.</p><p>Dark times can magnify wounds in ourselves that we haven't healed or addressed. The pandemic has shone a spotlight on mine with most of my distractions being unavailable. (Yes I avoid and spiritual bypass with the best of them). Specifically I've been feeling the wounds around being worthy. Given this time between time I still find myself dwelling in, I have decided to do my best to practice some self care. </p><p>I use my mesa for prayer ceremonies for my community and Patreon supporters, and I also use it for session work with clients. I often forget that I can use it for working on myself. Like many people I forget that I can give to myself. It isn't any more difficult than doing it for others. The difficulty is the mental block of setting aside time for myself, where a lot of subconscious programming sees it as somehow selfish or unproductive (yay more internalized capitalism...grrr). I mustered through those internal voices of dissent and did the thing anyways. </p><p>What you see in the picture above is not the work I did for myself. The picture was the weekly prayer ceremony, minus the stones and inner cloth of the mesa. It was doing work for me and wasn't finished in time for the Friday ceremony. So I improvised using just the outer cloth and some things from the office, whilst my inner cloth and stones were cooking on the issue back at home. It was kind of a big deal to put myself first and not dismantle the self care I had going on to do my service work the way I always did it. I still showed up, still sent Spirit gratitude, set up an altar, shook my rattle, and said prayers for my community. What I didn't do was sabotage my own work by rushing it and demanding I show up in exact the same way. I'd like to make self care and healing work more of a habit where I give myself the same level of consideration that I give to my clients when we're in session.</p><p>Why am I telling you this? Well how many times have you damaged yourself just so you can show up in the exact same way for everyone else around you? How many times have you made yourself sick just because you don't feel like you can slow down, rest, and recuperate? How many times have you said yes to another obligation, even though you were past the point of exhaustion? I'm not saying to throw out all your responsibilities, but what I am saying is that perhaps don't add anything more to them when you haven't taken care of your responsibility for your own needs. </p><p>As we in the Northern Hemisphere Head further into the dark and cold months it is important that we rest more. It is important that we value our own being enough to give ourselves what we need, despite all the cultural programming we are bombarded with. We cannot show up for others if we never show up for ourselves, so my darlings take care of yourselves.</p><p>Peace & Blessings,</p><p>Thomas Mooneagle</p>Thomas Mooneaglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12131599242620025491noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1728820177788939083.post-45349522736557194402021-08-27T10:41:00.000-07:002021-08-27T10:41:31.504-07:00Heart Fatigue<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-iVFKAwSv94M/YSkaUToI6LI/AAAAAAAABTw/GsBxNQZLeaEiMMMT3rnZ3ZEQ9F2s3uL0gCLcBGAsYHQ/s940/Untitled%2Bdesign.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="788" data-original-width="940" height="268" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-iVFKAwSv94M/YSkaUToI6LI/AAAAAAAABTw/GsBxNQZLeaEiMMMT3rnZ3ZEQ9F2s3uL0gCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/Untitled%2Bdesign.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>Greetings all,</p><p>Wow I can't believe I'm writing another post so soon. I also can't believe that I used to do this weekly, while working part time, teaching, and running my own healing practice. Just thinking about what I used to do makes me exhausted. Although exhaustion seems to be a way of life these days.</p><p>I don't know about you but I am chronically tired. The pandemic has stretched me to my limit and beyond. I spent nearly all of 2020 isolating, and the first half of 2021 as well. I began teaching in person classes at the beginning of July, right at the start of the Delta surge. As part of my contract, I have to avoid gatherings of 10 people or more. Some of my social groups have been having parties this summer, but if I want to be able to teach I have to stay isolated. I was hoping to travel towards the end of the summer, but that is not going to happen. I was hoping to finally get to visit my grandmother's grave, but again that will probably not happen for another year...at least. Every activity that I would use to renew myself has basically been removed from the field in order to protect myself and those around me. In the meantime, I have observed so many people flaunt the slightest restriction. They simply can't mask to save someone else's life, because it is uncomfortable. They don't want a vaccine, because they think they'll be fine. So I continue to watch the circle of my life shrink. I goto work, aware that it is a risk, but really I can't just sit at home either. I am anxious constantly because I don't know who is being careful. I watch as the death tolls rise again, and I just can't seem to care.</p><p>I have caught myself thinking lately that we should just let people die. They have chosen to not protect themselves and by extension everyone else around them. Some of them have verbally belittled those of us who took this crisis seriously. Others have even done so much as to cough in people's faces just to 'own the snowflakes' (this actually happened to someone I know). I have friends that work in healthcare and they are beyond exhausted, and yet there is no end in sight. I have family members that have been living with pain because they've had to put off medical treatment for a year and are now having to delay it yet again. So at what point do we just stop caring about those who have been abusive, selfish, and have actively endangered everyone around them? Why are we working so hard to save people that won't do anything to save themselves or others? </p><p>I know that this is wrong. This is not in line with spiritual teachings or at least my current understanding of them. My heart is tired, it is broken, and it despairs. We keep coddling those that would do us all harm and because of this many of our needs can't be met. Our lives and dreams keep having to be postponed. </p><p>Why am I telling you this? I know it doesn't paint me in a good light, but it's what I'm feeling. I'm pretty sure I'm not alone. We're all going through a prolonged traumatic experience, and have been gaslit the whole time by a subset of society. Those that are currently overwhelming our healthcare system were perpetuators of this trauma. Is it any wonder that we are having trouble mustering up compassion for those that have caused so much collective suffering? Is it surprising we can't seem to have tender feelings or soothing words for those that said "Fuck your feelings:?</p><p>How about you? Are you finding yourself exhausted? Are you too tired to care? Are you succumbing to cold logic/? Have you become numb to the numbers? If so know that you are not alone. We are all suffering from compassion fatigue. We are all stretched too thin. Spend your kindness budget on yourself and your loved ones. Stay safe and healthy. Take care of each other, because that is how we find our way through this.</p><p>Peace and Blessings,</p><p>Thomas Mooneagle</p>Thomas Mooneaglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12131599242620025491noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1728820177788939083.post-46108366405597884062021-08-21T21:57:00.000-07:002021-08-21T21:57:22.085-07:00The Big Con<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bTy7wBtA4OM/YSGeEJcswNI/AAAAAAAABTo/slpKpMc6GoMwGPRDriBzvJ2Ngig_8kdZwCLcBGAsYHQ/s500/allseeing.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="500" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bTy7wBtA4OM/YSGeEJcswNI/AAAAAAAABTo/slpKpMc6GoMwGPRDriBzvJ2Ngig_8kdZwCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/allseeing.png" width="320" /></a></div>Greetings all,<p></p><p>I hope you've had a stellar summer so far. It is so very strange to compare last summer with this one. We were in the early days of the pandemic. Many of us were working from home or out of work. We didn't yet have a vaccine, and I never thought when we did get one we'd have to beg folks to take it. The conspiracy theorists were busy back then and for the most part they still are today. </p><p>The more things change though, the more they stay the same. It seems as though we are living in the age of conspiracies. I should know better by now than to read the comment sections on the internet, but I just can't seem to help it. Now I freely admit that I'm kind of out there on the fringes of shared reality. My paradigm is weird. I make no bones about it, but I also agree that there is such a thing as a consensual reality or if you will shared reality. The last few years have showed me just how grounded in that shared dream we call reality I actually happen to be. I do my best to not break reality when I do 'my thing' just nudge it at the edges where it is a bit frayed. This makes me sound a bit less confident than some, but it also leaves me way less open to scams.</p><p>This of course leads me to the interactions of the past week. Let me set the scene for you: Instagram a new follower messages me. It starts with a hello. I respond with a simple hi. The conversation now begun he responds with a "Hello brother", and I am quite sure this man is not in any way related to me. I am already getting a vibe, the spiritual bro vibe to be exact. As I have little patience for fake spiritual sentiment I skipped the pleasantries and asked "What can I do for you?" I was then presented with a golden opportunity to join the illustrious enlightened society of the Illuminati. They offered me fame, riches, and the ability to become as they put it part of the elite. At this point my bullshit detector slid from the orange all the way into the red. I responded with truth which was that I had no interest in fame. (Mooneagle likes his privacy and ability to vanish at will). Then they asked what about riches. I told them that I had serious doubts that they could deliver such a result and if they did that the price they'd ask is not something I would be comfortable paying. I also quoted the law of equivalent exchange from the anime show Fullmetal Alchemist. I was disappointed when they missed the reference. Seriously if you're going to double down on nonsense you best get some good fictional source material. Well they responded that they didn't want anything. Then they went back to the original pitch of rich and famous, and I'm like seriously read the room dude I don't want fame. They were hooked though, I had spoken with them and used multiple sentences. Who knows how many folks go this far before blocking. I could tell he was getting frustrated though so I thought I'd give him an easy out and I told him that I was sorry but my soul was already under contract. They still didn't disengage though and tried to convince me that I wouldn't be selling my soul. My last retort was that they didn't have a very good business model, I mean they are offering the world and not getting anything in return. I just don't see that as sustainable.</p><p>Now the funny thing about this story or at least one of the funny things is that when I have told a few folks about this interaction they have expressed concern that the Illuminati might take offense and come after me. My response is that I will just ask Lara Croft to take care of them for me, and they're like Tomb Raider isn't real. Which is exactly my point. A couple things to know about this encounter: one if the Illuminati exist I highly doubt they extend invitations over Instagram, two even if they did this guy did not look like the poster boy for the wealthy elite of the world, and three the grammar of the invite suggested that it was all being pumped through a free translation app. You may ask why did I waste time speaking with this poor fool, the answer is simple, I was bored. This was complete bull from the get go, but I was curious as to what the pitch would be. I'm still waiting on that, plus I figured if they are focused on me maybe that is time they can't spend on someone gullible enough to fall for this. Also the vindictive tricksy part of me really wants to get into their heads and mess with them. </p><p>So why am I telling you this? Well we all have a need to believe in something. Depending on our personality and circumstances we can be more or less vulnerable to folks that prey on people with a bit too much magical thinking. I have no sympathy for guru grifters and metaphysical snake oil salesmen. I work hard on doing actual mystical shit, while they get rich and wreck people selling empty dreams. There is magic in the world. It can be wonderful. It can be terrible. It can be wielded by those with pure hearts, but it can also be wielded by those with selfish hearts. There are leaders of cults that are simply charismatic, but there are also those with actual psychic abilities. The most dangerous ones are those that are a mix of both.</p><p>How about you? Have you been offered a chest of dreams only to find plastic baubles? Have you given over yourself to a facade of spiritual stagecraft? Have you seen the costumed healers hawking miracles? Real magic can change yourself and even a bit of the world you inhabit, but you have to see what is actually in front of you first. Conspiracy theories do the opposite, they try to convince you that what you see before you is not actually what is going on. In that way they function like a curse trapping you in a hall of distorted mirrors. Take a deep breath, pick up a hammer, and smash that mirror. </p><p>Peace and Blessings,</p><p>Thomas Mooneagle</p>Thomas Mooneaglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12131599242620025491noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1728820177788939083.post-90558262322648879562021-07-09T10:01:00.000-07:002021-07-09T10:01:03.132-07:00Dystopian Fatigue<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EJVW3xaXeAY/YOh1xbeTYzI/AAAAAAAABTE/QMPnuxIWK_Ygx_fpplAkJIFyliHY8R8MQCLcBGAsYHQ/s940/Untitled%2Bdesign.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="788" data-original-width="940" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EJVW3xaXeAY/YOh1xbeTYzI/AAAAAAAABTE/QMPnuxIWK_Ygx_fpplAkJIFyliHY8R8MQCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/Untitled%2Bdesign.png" width="320" /></a></div>Greetings all,<p></p><p><br /></p><p>Welcome back to my musings. It's been a bit. I have been writing just not here. Mostly I've been writing fiction. I've been creating my own little world and peopling it with stories. It's something I've always wanted to do. Years ago I had a writing partner and we were going to create an epic fantasy, which as I look back on seems ridiculous. I had no long fiction experience nor any in collaborative writing. I'm pretty good at short fiction, and this time around that is where I've been playing. After months of writing I have almost produced two complete drafts as well as created a world in which these stories take place. So imagine my surprise when I was alerted to a contest for short fiction writing. There was just one catch, it had to be a work of dystopian fiction.</p><p>I am at a point in my life where I am sick of dystopian worlds, post apocalyptic settings. and all otherwise world ending storytelling devices. It has become a very popular genre, and while there is a lot you can do with it in social commentary I think it is safe to say that it's all been said. I'm really quite tired of the end of the world in fiction. Perhaps it became less interesting as I realized that we are living in our own dystopian society. I mean we check all the boxes: pandemic, environmental destruction, rampant injustice and inequality, religious intolerance, unsustainable/predatory economics, and genocide. Did I miss anything? At this point it is the opposite of imaginative to create tales of woe and hopelessness. </p><p>I get it, write what you know. They tell you that all the time. Still at what point does it just get stale? Ah yes another fascist society on the brink of destruction due to <u>insert calamity here</u>, where those in power have created a caste/economic system, and crack down on <u>insert group of oppressed people here</u>. For those tales that also charter the downfall of said fascist regime it is also equally unimaginative, as well as inaccurate. At this point I doubt we'd be able to overthrow our corporate masters in violent revolution. I'm also not sure even if we could that we should go that route. I mean I get the appeal of wanting to build guillotines, and shoot billionaires off into space to slowly suffocate. (Of course in our world they do it to themselves so I say let them and just charge them an exorbitant reentry fee). Personally I can't see how we'd ever throw off the shackles of oppression when so many folks still benefit from the system, or where the propaganda is so well entrenched into they psyche of the citizens. </p><p>So why am I telling you this? Well I have no interest in participating in creating more dystopian literature. I feel like the original intent of the genre was to serve as a warning to us to be careful of what principles we let rule our power structures. These days it seems more like normalization or bench mark so we can say, "Yeah it's hopeless but at least we're not living in <i>that</i> universe." I am not all Pollyanna either, my stories are not all sweetest and light. Hell my first one involves human trafficking. Still the place I aim to create is a world of wonder, there may be sorrow but there is also great joy and beauty. In any case I want to feed my mind and soul a diet of hope rather than one of resignation. Our world is worth saving, and so are we.</p><p>Peace and Blessings,</p><p>Thomas Mooneagle</p>Thomas Mooneaglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12131599242620025491noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1728820177788939083.post-2327729044989891262021-05-11T12:25:00.001-07:002021-05-11T12:25:50.786-07:00Chosen<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-qbHoy_x6K1k/YJq-1y-ls-I/AAAAAAAABR0/cplOpzQXsDs_3tOJLyKn2ISq0nBGVIlzgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1080/Untitled%2Bdesign.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-qbHoy_x6K1k/YJq-1y-ls-I/AAAAAAAABR0/cplOpzQXsDs_3tOJLyKn2ISq0nBGVIlzgCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/Untitled%2Bdesign.png" /></a></div>Greetings all,<p></p><p>So we meet again. I was beginning to think that I was hanging up my blogging pen. (Which doesn't exist I compose these from a keyboard). I have been musing on a few things lately and I think they have coalesced into some sort of sense. </p><p>I tend to call friends to talk on my daily walks with the dog. I am very grateful for both the walks and the talks. They have kept me within sight of sanity the past year. During my talk walks, I've often batted a few ideas around. One of them has to do with ideas that we cling to during challenging times. Specifically living through our ideals. I used to think idealism was a good thing. I still think it may be in theory, but life is not theory, it is practice. Social media has become a pressure cooker for ideas and how they affect ourselves and those around us. The problem is that we have made ideas more important than people. I have done this too, and I am ashamed of how easy it is to fall into. The problem with living in a world of ideas is that they are abstract concepts, people are not. We need to be able to imagine and extrapolate, but far too often we treat others like set pieces in our ideas and we lash out when they don't follow the roles that complement our ideal imagining.</p><p>A particularly vulgar idea which has been dressed up in pretty party clothes is the idea of being 'chosen'. It pervades our literature, movies, and religions. Basically the idea that some people are chosen to do great things, chosen because they are inherently good. This trope works well in stories, not so much in real life. The people in history who made great changes did so because of their experiences and how those shaped them. They saw something that needed changing and 'chose' to do something about it. People not prophecies bring about change. To choose is more powerful than being chosen. The other side of this is the idea that changing the world is about being special and important. Which one of us hasn't secretly harbored fantasies of being beloved by many, being the hero, saving the world? The thing is saving the world is a group effort, and what does it even mean to save the world? Similar to the cries of people over the last year who wanted things to go back to normal, we have to ask, what is normal? Is normal desirable? </p><p>We all have a personal mythology even if we don't subscribe to any spiritual belief system. You can be a scientific materialist and you still have an inner mythology. It just looks different and uses more clinical sounding language. The chosen one become the genius innovator or visionary tech magnate. The thing is solutions and positive change don't always come from sources we recognize. Wealthy tech billionaire playboys are unlikely to have solutions to the world's pressing problems (sorry Tony Stark), because they don't tend to be as affected by those problems. Some of those problems they may have even created or worsened. People who step forth to make changes and confront injustices are most often those that have lived through them. They don't offer us shiny branded utopias. They take us a step forward. Just like us they have their faults. They have been broken and found a way to piece enough of themselves together to try and make sure that others don't go through the same pain.</p><p>Why am I telling you this? Well many of us are waiting for something to save us: a messiah, a leader, an inventor, or an overly idealized version of ourselves. The thing is none of those things will work. What will ultimately save us and preserve the world for our descendants is all of us working together to make things better. After all, what good is technology if we don't apply it in a way that helps everyone? What good is a vaccine if people won't take it to protect their community? What good is a code of laws if we don't demand justice? </p><p>How about you? Have you put your ideals above the lives of others? Have you judged yourself and others as not worthy because of falling short? Have you fallen into the trap of seeking a mythical savior either in yourself or in an external chosen one? If you have step back, look at how your ideals lead you to treat yourself and others. That should tell you all you need to know.</p><p>Peace and Blessings,</p><p>Thomas Mooneagle</p>Thomas Mooneaglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12131599242620025491noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1728820177788939083.post-18216166377104021982021-03-20T17:08:00.000-07:002021-03-20T17:08:17.889-07:00A Circle of Flowers & Bone<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4EKYVL6Rv9I/YFaGF4Y1TEI/AAAAAAAABRQ/_vslgpKYkZ0kMeYpCC_eiXb67qTQcmLGACLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/20210320_151354.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4EKYVL6Rv9I/YFaGF4Y1TEI/AAAAAAAABRQ/_vslgpKYkZ0kMeYpCC_eiXb67qTQcmLGACLcBGAsYHQ/s320/20210320_151354.jpg" /></a></div>Greetings all,<p></p><p>Happy Spring Equinox to all my fellow Northern Hemisphere dwellers! This past winter was challenging, darker than most of us have experienced in our lives. Now the light returns and with it flowers and warmth. It also meant that I was set on drumming to welcome the turning of the seasonal wheel.</p><p>I have been drumming on the equinoxes and solstices for about a decade. However last spring there was a halt. I had been scheduled to drum at a healing center, but I cancelled when the pandemic loomed. I felt that I had broken the cycle. It was one way that I honored Spirit, and I knew it was understood that I was doing it to protect lives by avoiding contact. Still as the year progressed and time lost meaning for many of us it seemed oddly prophetic. Spring the season of hope and new life may have come for the plants and animals but it did not come for the human family. I did not want this year to be a repeat. While normal is probably a relative term at this stage, ceremony can help stabilize the seasons of our lives. Spirit may not have needed me to drum and pray, but I needed it so I set out to find a secluded space.</p><p>I went to a local park, I often have in the past if I did not plan an event at a center (or something like a pandemic occurred). I've always been a little nervous about drumming in public spaces. I do live in the bible belt and I really don't wish to be accosted by angry Fox news viewers. For this reason I always look for the most out of the way space, off the path if possible when I drum. These days it is more to avoid people who don't understand how to social distance or the proper way to wear a mask. Luckily there was a clear sky and plenty of warm spring sunshine, this did lead to one complication. Everybody was at the park today. I had to park a bit down the road. Even with a mask I try to avoid getting near people. So I was blessed by the appearance of a path I'd never noticed before. It took me to green clearing ringed with twisty trees and small white wildflowers. It was perfect, and it was far enough from the main path that I felt confident I wouldn't be intruded upon by nosey religious zealots. Then something else caught my eye, some sun bleached bones. I was amazed at how many there were, and looking at them I'm pretty sure they were deer bones. So I got the idea to put them in a circle, and that was my circle to drum in the spring. It is important to note that I did not plan this, I was simply looking for a safe outdoor space to do my ceremony. When I saw the bones it all just clicked though. So I drummed, and I sang, and I prayed. I carried the intentions for those in my spiritual circle and community. I feel better now, like I've renewed a promise.</p><p>It wasn't until I was walking back to my car that I realized the significance of the ritual. The bones and the flowers really were the two sides of ceremony. So much has died since the last spring equinox, so much that will not renew but only leave a mark. This winter really was a season of death like we've not seen in generations. We have over half a million dead in this country since last year. How do we move forward with that? At the same time poking up through the soil amidst the bones were the flowers, the new life was bursting forth even amidst the ruins of the old. There was beauty still in the world. That is what I needed, and the circle, well I needed to create a pattern, a frame of meaning for what has transpired. I needed to rejoin the broken circle of the seasons. We all need meaning in our lives, especially when tragedy strikes. Contained in that circle was death, but it also held the promise of life and renewal. There is nothing more springlike than that.</p><p>How about you? How are you making meaning in this time of transition? Recovery seems within our grasp and yet we are still not certain what shape it will take. We don't know what the rhythms of life and death will hold for us in this strange new world. What broken circles do you need to bring back together? What has died that needs to be honored and mourned? As the color of the light deepens into the bright half of the year take time to reconnect with the powerful forces that exist in nature. Call upon the spirits of wood, stone, fire, water, flower, and cloud to remind you of your place in this world. You are needed or else you would not be here.</p><p>Peace and Blessings,</p><p>Thomas Mooneagle</p>Thomas Mooneaglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12131599242620025491noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1728820177788939083.post-83964846991837450082021-02-19T08:52:00.000-08:002021-02-19T08:52:48.247-08:00Through the Nightlands<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GikC4p_BBqI/YC4IT-cJfpI/AAAAAAAABQs/UR2bNxT9HeoyV2l3vJrDN7y6ZOwcSmaOACLcBGAsYHQ/s940/Untitled%2Bdesign-6.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="788" data-original-width="940" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GikC4p_BBqI/YC4IT-cJfpI/AAAAAAAABQs/UR2bNxT9HeoyV2l3vJrDN7y6ZOwcSmaOACLcBGAsYHQ/s320/Untitled%2Bdesign-6.png" width="320" /></a></div>Greetings all,<p></p><p>It has been some time. There has been quite a lot happening in the world since my last post. To be honest I didn't know if I wanted to write any more blog posts. It's been a dark time. Like so many of you I am uncertain about the future. The new pattern of my life hasn't yet crystallized. I've felt alone in the dark, left with only pessimistic musings on how life will be. It isn't exactly the sort of thing I like to share. </p><p>So it's been a year since I knew this was going to hit here. I had no idea that it would hit so hard and last so long. Like many the life that I was living before the pandemic seems like a dream now. I saw people, I could simply walk into a store without having to worry about dying or bringing death home to my loved ones. I hugged people often. I went out to eat. This is not to say that life was beautiful before all this for me. I was in an unsustainable pattern, but I just didn't know a way out of it. Now I am in a different pattern that also isn't sustainable, and now I can't get hugs....or sushi. </p><p>I look back and realize I had stopped asking things of life and was just taking whatever scraps were thrown my way. I had stopped wishing and hoping. I was drifting through a dream. Not that I was ineffective, I managed to do a lot of good for folks. I just wasn't getting where I wanted to go. A while back a friend of mine sent me a woven mat from the Navajo nation. It sits on my altar the pattern represents the storm. When they were looking for a gift for me the elder indicated that this was the one I needed and they were very clear about need as opposed to want. </p><p> I've been thinking about the storm I find myself in, what has challenged me the most about it, and what I <b>need</b> for myself to get through the next storm. I am also thinking about what I want. There were so many distractions before, but now there is no escaping what hasn't been working. I know that I need more relationships based around mutual support. I know that I need to do more than just work, even if that work is something I enjoy. I know I need to travel more and celebrate with others the successes and commiserate the losses. </p><p>Why am I telling you this? Well I think a lot of us had been living life like we dream at night. We are carried along by the dream rarely questioning the pieces that don't make sense. We've been crossing the Nightlands in a car that someone else is driving. Maybe it is being driven by our culture, maybe by our family's influence, or maybe by our personal past. It is like one of those dreams where you are trying to drive the car from the backseat and you are barely able to stay on the road so getting where you want to go is forgotten. We've been treading water alone in the dark. It's time we swam to shore and look towards the dawn.</p><p>What about you? What has this journey through the dark shown you? Do you have what you need to get where you want to go? There will be a push to get things back to normal as soon as possible. You have to ask yourself if normal was enough for you? Were you really happy or were you just able to distract yourself from your sorrow? These can be painful questions and realizations. You can feel overwhelmed or worried that you just can't ever find peace and satisfaction. It's time to make our needs a priority, and while we're at it we can make the needs of our fellow travelers one too. Safe journey through this night and all the ones that follow.</p><p>Peace and Blessings,</p><p>Thomas Mooneagle</p><p></p>Thomas Mooneaglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12131599242620025491noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1728820177788939083.post-90170656105131116442020-12-04T10:36:00.001-08:002020-12-04T10:36:43.130-08:00Collective Grief<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-K4_URUwFOZk/X8pzrxLDhXI/AAAAAAAABP8/miHIDOt0CMcO0whq0Oww6HfOaD7PvmTlACLcBGAsYHQ/s940/Untitled%2Bdesign-6.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="788" data-original-width="940" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-K4_URUwFOZk/X8pzrxLDhXI/AAAAAAAABP8/miHIDOt0CMcO0whq0Oww6HfOaD7PvmTlACLcBGAsYHQ/s320/Untitled%2Bdesign-6.png" width="320" /></a></div>Greetings all,<p></p><p><br /></p><p>I hope you are safe and healthy. It has been some time. I have been in a dark place so I haven't really had the words till now to pen a post.</p><p>Right now where I live, we're in the midst of a large surge in virus cases. Thanksgiving has come and gone, and the damages are yet to be tallied from the many gatherings that have occurred. I learned that a friend has been in the hospital with covid since before the holiday. I am safe working from home as is my family, but still I feel so much ominous dread. Since I last checked deaths from the pandemic in the US are around 280,000 and it is highly likely that we'll be over 300,000 by the new year. I am finding it hard to fathom. How do we deal with a loss like this? How do we brighten the season when the season is bringing death to so many, and financial ruin to many more? How do we come together to grieve, when we are so divided not only in distance but in beliefs?</p><p>Since my last post I have been greatly relieved that we will have new leadership in our country. However the current power structure seems to want to set it all aflame before then. I realize that I am suffering from trauma, not individual trauma but a societal one. What I feel is not only personal grief, but grief for the world. This is not new to me, but it is certainly magnified. Post pandemic something will have to be done to help us come to terms with our losses. Space must be given for our grief both the personal and the collective. No one alive today has faced circumstances like these. I have been thinking of gathering with other healers after all of this passes and spending a few days in ceremony. It is no accident that the last time I received a hug (March 6th) was also the last time I drummed in a circle. We need our circles and right now many of us are without them. </p><p>Why am I telling you this? Well all of us have some degree of empathy. We may be isolated physically but emotionally we are all connected. Our fates are entwined. We feel what the world feels, and right now that is deep sadness as well as anxiety. We must find a way to grieve for the collective if not now, then when it is over. Otherwise that unspent grief will poison our souls and darken our hearts. </p><p>How about you? Are you shuddering from the weight of the world? Are you suffering in silence with no outlet? Do you believe that all you are feeling are your feelings? If so you may want to take a few moments each day in a darkened room to allow the tears for the world and for yourself to flow. Grief is part of the healing process. We cannot be made whole again without it. So we must grieve together and apart for those we know and those that we don't. Take care of yourselves.</p><p>Peace and Blessings,</p><p>Thomas Mooneagle</p>Thomas Mooneaglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12131599242620025491noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1728820177788939083.post-12047783994558994842020-10-16T12:53:00.003-07:002020-10-16T12:53:20.652-07:00Welcome to the Darkness<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kiiJoEnjusY/X4i_3aBZ-MI/AAAAAAAABPg/_AiNr33THnsB1vT9IYXS9f9qFLBZzor9ACLcBGAsYHQ/s1080/Photo%2Bon%2B9-14-20%2Bat%2B12.27%2BPM.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1080" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kiiJoEnjusY/X4i_3aBZ-MI/AAAAAAAABPg/_AiNr33THnsB1vT9IYXS9f9qFLBZzor9ACLcBGAsYHQ/s320/Photo%2Bon%2B9-14-20%2Bat%2B12.27%2BPM.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /> Greetings all,<p></p><p>Welcome to the Darkness, I've been waiting for you....</p><p>Those are the first lines of my new book. The book I am continually avoiding working on these days. I thought it would be an appropriate way to start this post. I haven't been writing much the past few months. I've been busy working on other projects like live streaming, launching a second youtube channel, and otherwise overhauling how I conduct business. Basically I'm trying to move my whole practice online. It makes it easy to relocate. </p><p>We're well past 6 months into the pandemic and I am sure many of us have reached the limits of our reserves. Here in the northern hemisphere we're also heading into the dark half of the year. So welcome into this dark time of uncertainty. In the midst of this we have gaslighting on a societal level here in the U.S. and a continued culture of oppression and genocide. These are tough times. It's easy to get run down and despair when our only outlet is online, but that outlet is also full of the poison and rhetoric that disheartens us. I like many of you, have at times lost faith that there could be any hope for a brighter future in our lifetimes. This is with all the training, techniques, and spiritual tools that I have at my disposal. I can hardly imagine what someone who has access to none of those is experiencing. I'm also able to sequester and work from home. Many people don't have that option. </p><p>I have found myself despairing and then beating myself up for despairing which then spirals into self judgment and of course more despair. What this has taught me is that no one gets out of the darkness unscathed. It's not that I'm weak, it's that I'm human and vulnerable. I have limits to the amount of energy I can access to combat stress. When it is depleted I move much more sluggishly to get anything done. I've not been especially productive and the self recrimination I've felt has shown me just how deeply the cultural programming of how we value ourselves goes. Intellectually I know that life has value outside of productivity, but in my bones I still feel the need to justify my existence by accomplishing something. (Like writing a blogpost...)</p><p>Why am I telling you this? I am quite sure many of you are exhausted, depressed, and anxious. I want to let you know that you haven't failed to walk a spiritual path if you're feeling that way. All of those emotions and experiences are part of the dark night of the soul. The pain we are feeling can make us go deeper and acknowledge truths about ourselves, our beliefs, and the way we've been conducting our lives. It may clue us in to what matters to us, and give us clarity about what we want and don't want from life. That said it is not an enjoyable process. 'For the night is dark and full of terrors.' (GOT quote) </p><p>So how about you? Are you stuck in the pit of despair? Are you struggling to match your ideals to your feelings and experiences? Are you judging yourself by standards made for better times? I would suggest that you cut yourself some slack. Do your best to find compassion for yourself in these times. Experiment until you find what works for you. Then practice it, make it your super power. When the time comes, you may be the one to teach others resilience. The world is dark now, you are the light.</p><p>Peace and Blessings,</p><p>Thomas Mooneagle</p>Thomas Mooneaglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12131599242620025491noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1728820177788939083.post-36247302522876297482020-07-25T22:18:00.001-07:002020-07-25T22:18:57.922-07:00Holding Pattern<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Pet31Jhb3sU/Xx0D8ZKFF6I/AAAAAAAABOk/P_A3IY9ZJDQost2yW3BYmynD89HypKwkQCLcBGAsYHQ/s940/Untitled%2Bdesign-4.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="788" data-original-width="940" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Pet31Jhb3sU/Xx0D8ZKFF6I/AAAAAAAABOk/P_A3IY9ZJDQost2yW3BYmynD89HypKwkQCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/Untitled%2Bdesign-4.png" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Greetings all,</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I am still here. I hope you are persisting against the odds in these very challenging times. I find myself looking back a lot lately. Summer nostalgia is usually at its strongest after the midpoint, but this year it seems even stronger.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I find myself thinking of people who are no longer in my life. Some of them have died, some of them I have parted ways with. It's funny that I am missing the people lately that I parted with on poor terms. It's not that I want them back in my life, just that the times when we did get along were good and the smell of the season makes me long for those simpler times. I'm not so far removed from those times to remember that I wanted to escape those moments into a different future. The trap of memory is that we can picture things either better than they were or worse than they ever were. The truth is that each time in our life is a mix of good and bad. The same holds true for relationships.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">For many years, I hung onto anger for the people who had hurt me even long after they were gone from my life. At first, I did this as a way to not be fooled into letting them back into my life. The anger was a shield to keep their energies at bay. Empathy can be an Achilles heel, and I found that anger was a good way for me to declare and enforce boundaries. I still think it has its uses, but not for the longterm. Holding the pattern of anger or hatred for years is exhausting. I'll be honest with you guys I have hated a bunch of people. I did this because it made it easier to stay angry with them and push them away. I needed to keep them away because they abused and hurt me, repeatedly. Now, I am wanting to open my heart again to new possibilities, to new hopes and dreams. I don't think I can do that until I lay that old anger and hatred aside. I want to, but I am also afraid that without it I won't have that shield for those people who would hurt me again if given the chance. (Yes they would do that, which is why I banished them from my life). I have started saying to myself, " I don't hate them, I just don't trust them." That alone is a huge step for me. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Why am I telling you this? Well it came out of a conversation I was having with a friend online about how to hold someone accountable, but not have to carry the emotional weight of the hurt they caused. I'd like to honor the good that came from those relationships, but I also don't want any of those fuckers back in my life. I'm certain that most of you have experienced something like this. I also know that like me many of you are starving for social interaction. Maybe you are thinking of reaching out to that old toxic person from your past just so that you have someone else to talk about the good old days. I just have one thing to say to you , "DON'T DO IT!" Don't repeat my mistake of allowing people who don't treat you right back into your circle just so you can avoid the pain of being alone. If you're that lonely, talk to me. Seriously I am as stir crazy as the next person, you'd be doing me a favor. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">So how about you? How are you navigating relationships in these strange days? Are you reminiscing more? Are you looking at the past through colored lenses? Inventorying our past is useful as long as we are being truthful about it, and not emphasizing either the good or the bad over the other. Are you holding onto old hurts so that you can hold onto your boundaries? Maybe it is time to set those feelings aside while keeping your boundaries. Maybe it is time that we love ourselves enough so that we don't need to hold onto hurt in order to take care of ourselves. Maybe when we're done loving ourselves, we can share that love with those who will honor us.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Peace and Blessings,</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Thomas Mooneagle</div>Thomas Mooneaglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12131599242620025491noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1728820177788939083.post-64026648753014938202020-07-06T22:24:00.002-07:002020-07-06T22:24:52.474-07:00In Dark Places<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Greetings all,<br />
<br />
I hope you are healthy and safe. We are in the midst of dark days. There are likely darker ones ahead. So of course I am working with light in the studio.<br />
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I've been fascinated with playing with light for a long time. I did a self initiation ceremony fifteen years ago for which I ordered fifty glow sticks of various colors. I hung them in a circle in a small forested area near my home. Part of the ceremony was to light them up as I entered right after the sun went down. It was one of the most magical nights of my life. The beauty of that multicolored phosphor light has stayed with me. Years ago I bought a ceramics book at a convention. In one of the chapters there was a photo of a clay lantern. It had a lovely ovoid shape and very fine curvilinear cut outs to allow the light through. I immediately wanted to make one. I had tried on numerous occasions to make something that vaguely embodied what I had envisioned. I have repeatedly failed in that attempt, until now.<br />
<br />
I haven't yet fired this piece or the others in the series, but I am finally hitting the aesthetic I pictured. I started having more success when I changed a few things: the tool I was using to carve them, when in their drying cycle I carved them, and bringing them outside on my deck to carve in natural light. (Made the process more enjoyable than doing it in the dark basement studio). As I bring these ideas into physical being I find moments of joy and peace even in the pandemonium that we have shaking our world. I don't think it is an accident that right now I am working on creating forms that only show their true beauty in the darkness.<br />
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I try not to look ahead too much because the future is smoke and while things could change to bring about a more just and healthy world they could also go the opposite way at this juncture. I say that not to frighten you, but to emphasize just how important this moment in time is. Many people are re-examining their relationships in their life, not just to other people, but to their work, their time, and their values. We have people in the streets demanding concrete changes to how our society runs. We have people re-imagining the world. At the same time, we have systems of power structures working overtime to maintain control of the narrative, and to offer us false choices. We can refuse those choices and demand our own. I am for the most part sheltering in place, sharing what I can, and creating. I want to bring more beauty and wonder into the world. So I create with my hands and heart. <br />
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Why am I telling you this? Right now it seems that my ability to create in the visual arts is finally coming to maturity. I don't think it is an accident that it is happening now. What ability or talent is bursting forth from you in this moment of crisis? As the structures of our narrative have fallen away what deep need in you is finally being expressed? I know many people are cooking for the very first time, or baking, or sewing, or getting outside daily, or really giving their loved ones time. There is something special inside of you that yearns to be birthed into the world, and oddly enough it may be exactly what the world needs. If not the actual product itself, the energy that is generated from your act of creation. Maybe it is joy that comes from it. Maybe it is peace. Maybe it is stillness or even love. <br />
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Not all of you have had the time, but many of you have. Are you courting the aliveness within you? Are you reconnecting with the essentials of your own nature? Are you recreating your personal world, or are you just waiting for a return to normal? The world needs all of you right now. The parts of you that have been pushed into the closet of abandoned dreams and wishes need to be brought out. So go, venture into the darkness, and if you need a bit of light, take a lantern with you.<br />
<br />
Peace and Blessings,<br />
Thomas Mooneagle<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
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<br />Thomas Mooneaglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12131599242620025491noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1728820177788939083.post-84070790532221641292020-06-07T14:11:00.003-07:002020-06-07T14:11:47.320-07:00What is Owed<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Greetings all,<br />
<br />
One of my guides referred to the times we are living in now as the crucible. Basically we are being put in a container where the fire is being turned up to burn out the inconsistencies. The burn off stage is one of the steps in the great work of alchemy. Currently we are all being challenged to clarify ourselves in our thoughts and deeds. We are seeing this on the societal level too.<br />
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Speaking of society, notice anything lately? Everything is heightened. I am not saying things are worse at the moment just that the contrasts are being sharply highlighted. Many of the illusions we've clung to are being ripped away to reveal what lies beneath. There is a widespread belief that if we have all the necessities of life while others do not that this comes from some sort of inherent trait or goodness on our part. It allows us to write off people who aren't getting their needs met, putting it all on their personal choices. If the pandemic has taught us anything, it is that our health and well being is interconnected. We are as healthy as the least well off person we come into contact with. So maybe healthcare should be a right and not a privilege, just saying.<br />
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In the midst of the health and economic crisis we are also being forced to look at the inherent racism and inequality in our systems. Let me be clear, racism affects everyone, but some bear the brunt of the burden. Still it holds our whole society down. We have spent so much energy and resources to keep people down that we don't have enough to support our citizens. How many masks can a single canister of tear gas buy? Perhaps the brilliant mind who could have found a treatment or a quicker route to a vaccine is in prison just because he was born black in America, and 'fit the description of a suspect'. We have for hundreds of years now had one of our hands tied up trying to push people down. Where would we be now if we had just let people get up, or even lent a hand to help? I don't know, and the fact that I have trouble even picturing it is part of the problem. <br />
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Why am I telling you this? Why am I focusing so much on world events? Well we are not born in a vacuum. Our culture shapes and molds us. Events in the world affect us. We in Eurocentric cultures have been raised on the myth of the individual. It's all about individual success and rights. The problem is that we are not an individualist species. There are species that are like that. They get together during mating season and then go their separate ways. The females raise the young and then they kick them loose. Some of the great cat species are like that. They are fine on their own. They can take care of themselves. They are strong individuals, but they also aren't building any world spanning civilizations. Those are not built by individuals, but by collective effort. Every road we drive on, every piece of food we eat, and every article of clothing we wear is made possible by incredible collaborations. For those die hard individualists I find it the height of hypocrisy that they claim they got there all by themselves.<br />
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In my last livestream on Youtube I talked about what we owe. In this time of great upheaval and change we need to ask questions. What do we owe to each other? What do we owe to society? We also need to ask what do we owe to ourselves? Most of us are in servitude to a system that doesn't care if we live or die. It cares about maintaining power. We should ask whether the economy should serve the people or if the people exist to serve the economy. All lives are precious, but until Black Lives Matter, no lives will matter. <br />
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Peace and Blessings,<br />
Thomas Mooneagle<br />
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P.S. Here is a link to some organizations that you can donate to that are working for change. <a href="https://mix247edm.com/blm-and-blm-lgbtq-charities-you-can-donate-to/">https://mix247edm.com/blm-and-blm-lgbtq-charities-you-can-donate-to/</a>Thomas Mooneaglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12131599242620025491noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1728820177788939083.post-67713789566523270382020-05-06T17:23:00.000-07:002020-05-06T17:23:25.303-07:00It's the End of the World as We Know It & I Don't Feel Fine<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Greetings all,<br />
<br />
We really must stop meeting like this. The news is grim. People are acting crazy. There seems to be no end of the crisis in sight. Our national leaders in the USA have abandoned us to worship the god of the marketplace. Small businesses are drowning, people can't make rent, and healthcare is even harder to come by than it was before.<br />
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I will share that I have been told by my team of spirit helpers to wait. If I try to look forward too much it makes me shiver. This is the hard lesson of living in the moment. The moment is uncomfortable. The moment is scary and uncertain. The moment is for me at least not bad on the surface as long as I don't try and project forward. I am comfortable where I am physically. I have food, shelter, and most of my basics met (as long as I don't need healthcare). Still there is something definitely missing, and that something is a probable future. <br />
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All futures are up for grabs right now. I said it in my last post the world we knew is gone. Whatever version will rise to replace it, is not yet ready for the unveiling. I want information from my guides, but I keep getting told, "Wait." One did elaborate and said I could wait with purpose. So I have been trying a few things here and there (mostly here though as there is no place to go). I started experimenting in my studio. Weird thing is that the experiments have mostly worked. I am not used to success. I had years of failures with recipes and techniques. It is rather uncanny and I am slow to trust this. Of course I am slow to trust in general. <br />
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What makes something precious? Is it the effort in its making? Is it the time it took? Is it the material cost? Is it something else entirely? While I am trying to avoid projecting forward to a return to what was, I am starting to wonder what would I like to see instead of the normal I knew. Normal was slowly killing me and billions of others. What could the new normal entail? Would it be better, and more importantly how do we get there from here? So many questions and so few answers, and of the answers we have, none are comforting.<br />
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Why am I telling you this? Well we have been in this crisis long enough for it to sink in how changed our world is. There are some good signs like cleaner air and clearer skies alongside ominous signs of coming violence from those that want normal at ALL costs. I hope we decide to become better people who value each other. My faith in humanity is definitely at a low point these days, but maybe I am just being blinded by ugly outliers. Maybe there are many more good people who care than there are cruel ones. The cruel ones sure do make a lot of noise....and mess.<br />
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How about you? Are you navigating the maze of madness of these times alright? Do you long for contact? Do you know what it is that you miss? Can you without referencing what was, focus on what you would like to experience when the darkness has passed finally? What shape would you like the world to be? What society would you like to live in? What does it feel like? How does it treat the least among us? Does that society provide for the needs of its people in a way that works for all or just for the few? What can we learn from where we are so we choose more wisely where we are going? Let me know what you come up with.<br />
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Peace and Blessings,<br />
Thomas MooneagleThomas Mooneaglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12131599242620025491noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1728820177788939083.post-67041756794554751712020-04-19T18:41:00.000-07:002020-04-19T18:41:06.868-07:00Lost World<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Greetings all,<br />
<br />
I hope you are keeping well in your isolation. I have my up times and down times. This past week has been more down for me. It is just beginning to sink in how long this may go on for, and what that means for my life and for the lives of so many others.<br />
<br />
I like many folks out there am feeling a profound sense of grief and loss. It is the loss of the world I knew. The loss of normal is profoundly disturbing to me. I find this odd because normal was not working for me. I know I am not alone in this especially here in the States. Normal pretty much gave us this pandemic. It prioritized profits over life. It normalized politicians holding citizen's basic needs hostage to play power games. It celebrated cruelty and racism. It devalued the people that actually keep the economy and the people of our society alive. It was a world that was all about constant consumption, productivity, and environmental depredation. We were literally pillaging the future to pay for the present. <br />
<br />
So if it was so horrible why are we mourning its loss? Well it is what we knew, and because it is all most of us knew it feels like a part of us has been ripped away. It also bears a striking similarity to being in a toxic relationship. It was a hard lesson to learn that even when I left a relationship that was abusive and toxic I sometimes still missed the person. Missing them didn't mean I was wrong about leaving. I think what is going on right now is we are missing our relationship with our toxic society, even though it wasn't good for us and was slowly (or in some cases not so slowly) killing us. Still even for those of us who wanted massive societal change, we are just as upset as those content with the status quo. There is so much uncertainty right now. We know the world is changing but we don't know where the new path is taking us. Human beings don't like uncertainty, we do just about anything to avoid it.<br />
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I think beyond all of the habituation we miss what we thought of as ourselves and our place in the world, even if the place sucked. We knew where we were, who we were, and had a reasonable idea of where we were going. We miss the idea of our lives, and the shapes that it filled in our days. So many of our distractions are gone right now. Work, socializing, and shopping being the foremost in those distractions. When I complained to one of my guides how lonely I was feeling they reminded me that I had been lonely most of my life. When I pointed out that before the pandemic I could at least go out to the movies or a store, they said, "You are confusing commerce with connection." They also pointed out that I am not alone in this confusion. <br />
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Why am I telling you this? Well I am quite sure many of you have reached the stage where you are uncertain what shape the new world will take as the old world passes away. Make no mistake there will be no going back to what was before. Too many people have paid with their lives for that to happen. The world of humanity has stopped in a way it hasn't for quite some time. Many people are questioning whether we should keep things going in the same direction when we start this locomotion back up, or whether we should lay new tracks. <br />
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So how about you? Are you grieving the lost world? Are you apprehensive of what form the new world will take? Do you find yourself questioning your goals and where you want to go next? Do you feel unmoored lost in a sea of shadowy prospects? Well that's where most of us are. It's ok to not know where this is going and where you will fit into the overall picture. For now allow yourself to grieve the world that was. Let out the tears, make allies of your fears. Once you have done that take stock of the beauty that remains in the world and in yourself.<br />
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Peace and Blessings,<br />
Thomas Mooneagle<br />
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<br />Thomas Mooneaglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12131599242620025491noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1728820177788939083.post-26379133424087438482020-04-01T19:35:00.000-07:002020-04-01T19:35:12.349-07:00Striking a Balance<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Greetings all,<br />
<br />
I hope you and your loved ones are staying safe. I have been more vocal as of late, but have been doing live casts on Facebook in order to air my thoughts. Some lovely lady made the meme of something I said and thus the picture here at the top. The sad thing is that this is what people will see on my professional page when they click on the blog link. Still if they want fake love and light sentiments I am probably not the professional for them. When I love you, it's more than just a surface emotion.<br />
<br />
So let us take stock. We are in the middle of history. Technically we always are, but only sometimes are we aware of it. I have found it hard to remain stable and centered in the past few weeks. The first week when I was laid off (temporarily...most likely) from one of my teaching jobs I was not able to do much of anything. I have rebounded a little, but some days I just drift through the day. Social media has been both a blessing and a curse in this time. It keeps me able to chat with many friends, but also I see the horrors again and again in the newsfeeds. <br />
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Hope is important, but I also feel like right now people are misusing it to try and not feel the grief of what we are going through. People are dying and more will die yet. The social fabric of our lives has been torn asunder. Here in the U.S. we have been given a hard lesson of just how vulnerable the majority of us are to disaster, and how little our representatives and leaders have our backs. The lie of the land is that we are a place of opportunity, I have seen three different responses one on the white lighter end of the spectrum and the other being on the conspiracy theory end of things. Then there are those who are in denial.<br />
<br />
So on the white light side of things you have folks saying this is all part of the plan of ascension and transformation. We're going to be entering some kind of Golden Age where everyone stops being dicks, and loves one another. For a Golden Age it sure is starting off with a lot of greed and blood. Now I do think that this is a turning point in history, but I don't think the outcome is set in stone. Will we change our ways and how we organize our society to take care of our brothers and sisters? Will we begin to let the Earth heal? I hope so, but if we do it will take collective action not just prayer and affirmations. We have to be willing to face where we've allowed our own selfishness and apathy to contribute to the calamities of the world. We also have to be willing to change our own behavior and expectations. Everything is not going to be alright, some people are going to lose that which they love the most for whatever world emerges out of this. If we want to honor them and give that loss meaning, then we best be willing to act and hold people accountable. Like it says in the meme, "Love and Light are not condoms." They don't protect us from our own actions or inactions. <br />
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Now on the other side of this we have the doomsayers. The illuminati preachers, the 5G apocalypsers, and the anti-vaxxer syndicate. I will say this. Conspiracies aren't that intricate, all you have to do is follow the money. Really the culprits for this abominable response to a global crisis are not hard to spot. I don't need to name them, if you can't figure out who they are you're not smart enough to understand this post. I realize that was snarky, but my nerves are frayed. Snarky is what I have left in the tank these days. Posting these doom and gloom vast conspiracy plots online they seek to control the fear they feel by shoving it into a familiar compartment. Just like the white lighters they are not committed to dealing with what is in front of them. <br />
<br />
So that leaves us the deniers. These folks always downplay things. The climate is not changing, and even if it is we're not to blame. Even if we are to blame, we can't do anything about it. If we could do something about it then the economy would be ruined. Oddly enough these old arguments have just been substituted for the virus. It's not that serious. Well it's not serious except for old people or sick people. It's just like the flu. It's better that some people die rather than ruining the economy. I don't know how to explain to people that they should care that their actions can inadvertently kill someone. Maybe not someone they know, but someone who matters to somebody. Maybe it comes from having a culture of disposability. We throw so much out right after we're done with it. I think that we've over the years started to see people the same way. When they serve no more use for us, we just dispose of them.<br />
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Why am I telling you this? Well I find that expressing myself seems to be my way of dealing with the fear that the current crisis evokes. I also want to impress upon you how much your actions in this time matter. The failings of our society are being exposed in high contrast. We will have a narrow window to act to change things for the better, but that change is not guaranteed without our continued efforts. It is easy to be sucked into the black holes of denial, fantasized spiritual optimism, or the web of conspiracies. It is much more difficult to stand centered in who we are, and choose who we want to be in this pivotal moment. Make no mistake this is a fulcrum of history, but even if we do change for the better it will still be a tragedy. It will be a tragedy because we could have decided to do better without having so many people die. We could have averted much of the coming suffering if we realized earlier that our own well being is intrinsically linked to everyone's well being.<br />
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How about you? Are you balancing between trying to maintain hope amidst crisis while acknowledging the fear and grief? Are you giving your power to false idols with pie in the sky philosophies? Are you sure that you and you alone know the true movers and players in this world wide game of Risk? Well slow down there slick, maybe you just need to sit with your feelings and have a good cry in the shower. When you're done call one of your friends and check up on them, because right now the one thing we can do (and absolutely should do) is be kind. If nothing else let us learn that our actions towards others have consequences, and that we should weigh those carefully. Welcome to the new world, please treat it and each other well.<br />
<br />
Peace and Blessings,<br />
Thomas MooneagleThomas Mooneaglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12131599242620025491noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1728820177788939083.post-88028815942067603052020-03-14T11:21:00.000-07:002020-03-14T11:21:32.266-07:00Fear Shaming<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Greetings all,<br />
<br />
Well now that many of you are self isolating you have no excuse for not taking the time to read my blog post. I literally have a captive audience, "ALL SHALL READ ME AND DESPAIR!!!" (Sorry I was channeling some Lord of the Rings energy). <br />
<br />
Pretty sure this post will follow in the series of what I like to call , "Suck it LOA". (Law of Attraction) Many of us right now are thinking fuck, shit, the world is insane!!! It is, and some of us are pointing fingers at people who are afraid and making fun of them. Well if you are doing that, you are being a dick. Yes you, right there complete and total dick. For those of us in the consciousness community the so called 'spiritual' folk, there has developed a hierarchy of emotions. Things like love, joy, and peace sit at the top with the less fun emotions at the bottom. We are told to shun these low vibration feelings. You know because it is perfectly natural to only feel the good emotions, we are told to anesthetize ourselves to loss, fear, pain, and sadness. <br />
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I cancelled all my events, classes, and trips for the next few weeks (possibly months). Prior to that I changed how I taught my classes, and emphasized extra hygiene practices to minimize risks. I teach to people in high risk categories for extra complications from COVID-19. While I may be okay, I live with someone who has asthma and my teaching in various community centers puts vulnerable populations at risk. So I have been extra cautious. People have been making fun of me or implying I am flakey with my commitments. Sheesh it's only a pandemic after all. Now that we are being asked to self isolate I see people attacking policies that are meant to mitigate the risks to the members of our community that have the most reason to be afraid. Some people are treating me like I am somehow less spiritual than they thought. (Oooh burn!) I have been upfront with folks for years that I am a person, not a guru, not an ascended master, and certainly not immune to the human condition.<br />
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Let me be clear. If you are ranking emotions, then you are not being more evolved, you are just buying into a different illusion. Fear is one of the first emotions that developed and for very good reason. It keeps us alive. Fear tries to keep us safe. It is our inner guardian. It alerts us to danger, it preps our body to flee or fight. You don't know what you are truly capable of until you fear for your life or the life sf someone you love. The thing is we don't like being afraid, we try to get rid of the feeling as fast as possible. Your fear is a part of you, when you give it away you are giving away part of yourself. When we try to rid ourselves of it others can come take a hold of it, and then they control our fear. If we claim it and accept it, then we can control our response to it. Sometimes it dissipates, and sometimes not. The point again is not to rid ourselves of it, but to join with it and become whole. I have been afraid for myself, for my loved ones, my community, and the world. You can't shame me out of my fear, it is mine so hands off fuckers!<br />
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Why am I telling you this? Well many are afraid right now. Fear is as much a part of us as love and joy. To deny it, is to deny ourselves and our power to act. If you are afraid, then be afraid, and then ask what your fear would like from you. Trying to push it down or send it away just makes it operate in the background without the input of the rational mind. Hence people buying up all the toilet paper. <br />
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How about you? Are you listening to your fear? Do you know what it wants to give to you, or are you trying to self isolate from yourself? Sink into your heart. Invite it in. Give it the same loving attention that you give to the brighter feelings when they come to call. It is not easy, but it is worthwhile. I love you all and I hope you are keeping safe.<br />
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Peace and Blessings,<br />
Thomas Mooneagle<br />
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P.S. I did a teleconference related to what is going on, and made it available to the public on Patreon click on the link to listen to it. <a href="https://www.patreon.com/posts/34781838" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/posts/34781838</a>Thomas Mooneaglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12131599242620025491noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1728820177788939083.post-19627199634582234532020-02-23T18:43:00.000-08:002020-02-23T18:47:12.199-08:00Being a Stand Out Person<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Greetings all,<br />
<br />
Here is a picture from a restorative week I had back in October. I could use that again.<br />
<br />
I haven't written much as I have been trying to get some other tasks done. Today I finally got up the new web site with less than a month to go before the whole thing vanished. For my next trick I need to finish planning and creating materials for a day long workshop I plan to teach locally and in NYC. Work, work for a single hand will but little work command. When you work for yourself like I do, it can seem like there is never a break. (It's true I don't get sick days or paid vacation, and my healthcare premiums are double or triple yours).<br />
<br />
As I watch the political drama unfold, I am concerned. I am worried that someone like me who walks a path that is not well understood and far from the mainstream will end up with representatives that don't think I should be able to get the necessities of life unless I do things the way everyone else does. We have built a world where the many support the few to the detriment of the Earth, to its creatures, and to its people. I am one of those people. The work I do is designed to help people restore harmony in themselves and their life. In times past I would have been a valued member of a community, but the world has changed. My skills don't translate immediately into increased sales, stock revenues, or market dominance. What I do is for the people and for the Earth. It is not easy to stand out.<br />
<br />
Why am I telling you this? Well you should know that even with all the tools at my disposal I struggle too. I sometimes despair. I too lose sleep with worry over the future. Besides if you're not worried about the state of our world, you are not paying attention. Aside from the societal troubles we have a climate crisis unfolding. A crisis that could burst the soap bubble of civilization that we've been living in for the past few hundred years. Our species might not make it. This is not alarmism, this is a probable future, and I deal in probable futures. <br />
<br />
In these times of uncertainties I have no great solution to the troubles of the world. I offer one piece of advice only. Try to be kind. Try to live in the understanding that what ever you may be going through others are as well. If you have no recourse left, then just try and be kind. It may not fix your situation. It might not change the course that history takes. It will however change you, and those that you meet along the path. If you are weighed down by grief let it make you kinder. If you are afraid let it make you kinder. If you are in pain let it make you kinder. Kindness in a dark time or place may one day light a path to healing. I hope you receive kindness on your journey and I hope that you pass it on.<br />
<br />
Peace and Blessings,<br />
Thomas Mooneagle<br />
<br />
P.S. Here's the new website <a href="https://thomasmooneagle.com/">https://thomasmooneagle.com</a>Thomas Mooneaglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12131599242620025491noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1728820177788939083.post-22512949895214916662020-01-27T21:31:00.000-08:002020-02-06T20:58:15.883-08:00How to be a friend<br />
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Greetings all,<br />
<br />
First post of the year. I'm still trying to define my new relationship with this blog. Mostly I am waiting until I have something worthwhile to say, which is honestly not a weekly occurrence. If I hear myself speaking in loops or having a particularly juicy conversation with someone I may make a mental note to perhaps explore it here. <br />
<br />
I had planned to write about the misconceptions of my work, but it seemed a bit self indulgent and whiny. I scrapped it and decided to write about what it takes to keep a Mooneagle in your life. I have labored under the impression that I am a difficult person to get along with. I'd like to say that this is not true, but I know I have my moments. I am temperamental, and when I finally make up my mind about something I can be pretty inflexible. I am weird and unlikely to fit in to most crowds or groups. I couldn't fit in if I tried, and believe me I have tried.<br />
<br />
If you still want a Mooneagle like me in your life here's what I need. The first thing I need is your attention. As the last born in a family, I can tell you attention is key. The second thing I need is kindness. I really can't stress this one enough folks, kindness will get you just about anything. I remember kindness, I remember cruelty too, but that will get you a different kind of result. Acceptance is also non-negotiable. Yes I know I am not perfect (you should hear what my mind chatter says about me....bastard), but the more accepting you are the better I become. Also I like to be included in things, even if I can't make it, I'm always touched by an invitation. <br />
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There are a few things you probably should not do. Do not consider texting as quality interaction or support. Texts are for quick check ins and quick questions and answers. I require actual spoken language. Do not patronize what I do, it is not a hobby. I know it is strange and can seem exciting but I am not a magical mascot to be trounced out at parties for amusement. (Yes this actually has happened). I am an actual person with actual feelings, and my beliefs about spirit are no more ridiculous than anyone who believes in anything non-physical. That doesn't mean you have to believe what I believe, just don't be a dick about it.<br />
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Why am I telling you this? Well I read in the last few months from someone online that you shouldn't hang around with folks that make you feel like you are hard to love. I spent a lot of time in my earlier days with folks like that, foolishly running after folks begging them to love me. It has made me very insular. So I don't want to do that anymore. In listing out what I would like out of friends and relationships it gives me permission to see what I want and don't want. I don't think it is all that much to ask for. <br />
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What about you? Have you ever really listed what you actually need from your relationships? We so often waste time pondering whether we are good enough for someone else, only to fail to wonder if they are bringing anything to the table. Relationships are work, they take time and care. We should evaluate them to make sure they are nourishing us as well. We need to rid ourselves of the belief that we're lucky if anyone deigns to be a part of our life. We should be grateful for our loved ones, provided that they are in fact loving. So make your lists, and remember you have something of value to offer others, your time and your heart.<br />
<br />
Peace and Blessings,<br />
Thomas MooneagleThomas Mooneaglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12131599242620025491noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1728820177788939083.post-24065592185163481852019-12-29T16:14:00.000-08:002019-12-29T16:14:29.007-08:00Puzzling Times<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Greetings all,<br />
<br />
Yes I have been away. I thought I should get out one more post for the year before both it and the decade expire. This past year it feels like several years of experience rolled into one. I broke with my weekly blogging tradition as I turned inward. There are some things not meant for public eyes. <br />
<br />
Someone once described life as a puzzle with no edge pieces and no picture on the box to look at. I tend to agree. One of the biggest errors I have made was comparing my puzzle to other people's. We all get different pieces, and what will fit together in one life will not in another. Life is also like a puzzle in the sense that you want to look at as many pieces as possible and sort them into what you're going to assemble first, usually the edge pieces, in real life basically finding out what we're not. Some folks go the opposite route and find out exactly who they are before finding what they aren't. Some never get far in either direction.<br />
<br />
I myself don't really like doing the edge pieces. I like to pick a point that has distinction and assemble out from there. It is not the most efficient way to begin, but life is not always about efficiency. It would explain a lot about my path. I work on things, pulling together skills unsure of how it will all fit together in my life. Sometimes it doesn't or exists only as a reference point. At other times, years may pass before certain pieces join up to form a larger picture. <br />
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Lately I have been wondering if the puzzle I've been assembling is really the picture I thought it was. That can be a painful realization at least until something new comes together. Right now in the time between the solstice and the new year there is a bit of breathing space. The majority of the hustle and bustle of the season has passed. We are left with ourselves, the gifts we have given, and those we have received. So many people get sad this time of year because they have learned that these gifts rarely change our lives. It is the people around us that do that, as well as ourselves. Absences around a festive table are more keenly felt. There is a great dissonance in the artificial holiday feelings society tries to manufacture for us and the realities of our lives. We punish ourselves for not feeling those deep holiday sentiments. I spent my Christmas with family and close friends and we put together a puzzle. It wasn't anything extravagant, but we got to be with each other. I am at the point in my life where I know there is nothing that comes wrapped in any box that will gift me with joy. Joy will come from me and my relationships. <br />
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Why am I talking about puzzles? Well like I said, life is a kind of puzzle. Instead of being outside of it we're in it assembling it around ourselves. You have to step back and look at what the pieces are forming every so often or you end up going nowhere, slowly. Also like a puzzle you can't force pieces together that just don't fit. You end up breaking the pieces and possibly the whole picture if you do that. Raise your hand if you've ever tried to force something to work. (If your hand is not raised maybe you should check your honesty settings). <br />
<br />
How about you? In this time between time, as the old year wanes and the new year and decade waits in the wings, are you assembling the puzzle pieces of life, or are you just puzzled? Do you know what really brings you joy? Do you know where you fit together and whom fits with you? If not this is a good time to reflect and sort your own pieces out. There is no picture to look at to shape the pieces only your inner vision. Don't bury your pain, let it point you to where you lack. From there you can hopefully chart a joyous course into a new year.<br />
<br />
Happy Holidays,<br />
Thomas Mooneagle<br />
<br />
<br />Thomas Mooneaglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12131599242620025491noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1728820177788939083.post-75936796409644578602019-11-08T19:20:00.000-08:002019-11-08T19:20:36.054-08:00Mastery BS<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Greetings all,<br />
<br />
I hope your transition from autumn into more wintery weather is going smoothly. I've been toying around with some things that have come up in conversation and discussion with folks and thought that it would make a good topic to write about.<br />
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In spiritual communities there is a great amount of attention given to the idea of mastery. I myself have been caught up in it from time to time. From a young age I wanted to achieve some form of spiritual mastery. I built up quite an identity around being the "spiritual" one in the group. I wanted to transcend all my limitations and break free of my circumstances. It's not that I don't still want some of that, but I have come to realize that the idea of mastery that most people are looking for or talking about is bull shit.<br />
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I wanted to become a Master of Metaphysics in order to escape my problems. I even was able to do that with a few of the minor issues. The fly in the ointment was that this search for mastery and perfection wasn't solving my big problems (it actually created a fair number of big ones on its own), it was just an avoidance scheme. I was wanting to magic my problems away. Real magic doesn't work that way. It takes work and the way it changes things is by first changing you. Wanting the world to change around you while you stay exactly the same is 'magical thinking' which is not the same thing as magic.<br />
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The other problem with wanting to achieve mastery is that when you state that to the Universe as your intended desire it will deliver onto you many teachable moments. If you survive those (I emphasize the if) it will continue to shower upon thou most holy one, more and more of these opportunities. Which is why several years ago I decided this whole mastery idea was crazy. Maybe some folks are called to it, but I sure as hell am not one of them. I have instead adopted the idea of growth. I am no longer striving for mastery, only to be better than I was. I no longer petition to be a master, just to be part of the solution.<br />
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Why am I telling you this? Well I have had clients come to me looking to do the same thing as I was (the thing that almost put me in the ground prematurely). What I discovered from a few quick questions is that what they wanted was a solution to their problematic situation. The mastery track just looked like the quick fix or it was the, "I'm tired of all this crap and don't want to have to deal with the hassles of life but don't want to die therefore I should become an incarnate all powerful being." It's a bit extreme if you ask me, and most folks in a society tend to respond with either strait jackets or torches to deal with folks approaching that level.<br />
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So how about you? Are you focusing on spiritual perfection when you should be focusing on learning a problem solving skillset? Are you turning inwards, only to tune out the world? Are you looking towards becoming a shining avatar, while your issues sit festering in your unloved and unacknowledged shadow? Well maybe you should throw out the idea of mastery with the fad diet books that promise quick results without effort. If you are truly called to ascend beyond the personal self, well then go for it. Just make sure you aren't doing it in a mad dash to outrun your issues. They will catch up to you. You can't outrun your shadow, and should the focus of the light change it will be before you larger than ever. You don't have to be perfect, to be of service, to be worthy of love, or to justify your life. You just have to be you in the best way you can manage right now. Take it from one mastery drop out to another. You matter, just as you are.<br />
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Peace and Blessings,<br />
Thomas MooneagleThomas Mooneaglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12131599242620025491noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1728820177788939083.post-76482317430408403182019-10-29T17:14:00.002-07:002019-11-08T18:39:17.999-08:00Expecto Patreon<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Greetings all,<br />
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I've been busy integrating and processing what I learned and experienced on my trip. It certainly helped me put into perspective some key points of my life that I would like to see change. It had been a number of years since I just let myself want anything other than the basics. When a desire did arise I had excuses for the way my life was run to turn away from it. Well, I have decided to go after what is drawing me. If there is an obstacle, I'm looking for solutions to overcome it or sidestep it.<br />
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I have several occupations. Apart from my holistic/shamanic practice, I also teach Tai Chi. That is my steady income (albeit not much). I love my students and I've come to enjoy teaching for the way it deepens my own practice as I seek to share it. So in the past it has mostly been a perceived lack of resources that has kept me from pursuing my dreams. This year I've set about changing that. My latest venture of creating a meditation album was a step in that direction, but I feel like Patreon will be a key part of helping me establish firm support.<br />
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For those of you who don't know. I launched a Patreon page where folks can support me for $5 a month. Patreon is a creative funding platform that many artists, musicians, and content creators (like Youtubers) go to help them create a community of supporters so that they can continue to create. I've adapted the model for some of my spiritual work. Since I do weekly ceremony I simply add my patrons on the site to my prayer list. I also wanted to do something that was just for them, so I've been doing a monthly teleconference where I do energy work for the group. It is kind of like a longer version of one my youtube videos, the difference being it is exclusively for my patrons. <br />
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At first the idea of adding another task to my monthly calendar seemed like a chore, but this month I really got into it. I love doing the conferences. They are giving me lots of idea for spin off projects and future albums. The only challenging part is scheduling amongst various timezones. So far I have a handful of patrons, but they are made up of friends and long time clients. I like this mode of interaction. Sometimes I won't hear from clients for months or years. Which says to me that I am doing good work and I have empowered them. It is nice to have this opportunity to connect with them on a regular basis, while simultaneously receiving support to help me further my dreams.<br />
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Like many people in the service focused entrepreneur field I am challenged between wanting to keep prices low so that I can help those who really need it, and making sure I am making enough to take care of myself. What good can I do if people can't afford my services? Conversely how can I continue to be of service if my needs aren't met? So I am really jazzed about my Patreon venture. It really hits both of those issues. I just have to build it up, but I am committed. I was stubborn enough to make my Youtube channel into something. It just took time.<br />
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Why am I telling you this? Well I hope you'll show up and support the Mooneagle on Patreon for one (link at the bottom of the post). Also it is important to reflect on support. Where we are receiving it and giving it as well. We do not exist in a vacuum. Human beings need each other. This shouldn't be seen as a weakness. It brings us together, and together we can accomplish much more than we ever could alone.<br />
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So in the coming weeks ask yourself if you feel supported. If not what do you need to feel supported? Start looking at ways for that support to show up in your world. Make sure your needs are met before you go around looking to gift yourself to others. If you find a way to do both simultaneously then dance a jig because a win win is always worth celebrating. When we support each other we all win. So until we meet again I hope that you have all that you need to thrive.<br />
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Peace and Blessings,<br />
Thomas Mooneagle<br />
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p.s. If you wish to support me on Patreon here is the link.<br />
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<a href="https://www.patreon.com/ThomasMooneagle">https://www.patreon.com/ThomasMooneagle</a>Thomas Mooneaglehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12131599242620025491noreply@blogger.com0