Greetings everyone,
I have great news! I got one of the worst comments I have ever received on my youtube channel a little over a week ago. Confused? Why is that great news? Well on its own it isn't great news, but my response to it was. I simply didn't care. Let me allow that to sink in for a minute.....I didn't care.
I didn't take the insult personally. I didn't believe it for a second. (I did critique the spelling and grammar though). The negative slur had the opposite of its intended effect. I was happy. I was relieved that I didn't take in any of the energy of the comment. I was actually grateful to have been insulted plus it meant I got to watch one of my favorite videos called "Thank you hater" by Cleverpie.
Some of you won't get what a big deal this is for me. If you have been reading my blog at all you'll have heard me reference or let's face it complain about being empathic. While it is a useful skill it can make you hyper sensitive to criticism. When someone tells you, "Who cares what they think or feel about you." Well if you're highly empathic you care, it is hard not to since you pick up that person's feelings. So to not care what someone thought of me, nor entertain their feelings for a second is huge. I take it as a sign that I must be growing. When I first started making videos and posting them I was always quite nervous about what people would think of them and of me. I tell people it was an act of self acceptance to record myself at all let alone post it for the world to see.
This past month has been one of expansion and rediscovering personal power. I don't think it is just me either. I've sensed opportunities for many of us to break out of our self imposed limitations. Magic has been calling to me for half the summer. The longing for ceremony and ritual has been constant. You may be thinking. "What don't you have enough magic in your life? I mean you're freaking Thomas Mooneagle!" It's true I do tread in the mysteries. However it is easy to forget what you can do for yourself while you are doing for others. It is good to stretch and reinvigorate your own empowerment.
So my darlings what about you? Is there some negative that you can turn around and realize how little it affects you? Is there something someone did to push your buttons that you transcended? Can you be thankful to the little shit for the opportunity to realize you're bigger than that? (Yes while you may be over them they are still a little shit). What power and practices do you feel inspired to take up again? What seemingly small thing is a sign of a big change deep below the surface? Ponder on it for a while and let me know.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
Musings
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Friday, August 23, 2013
The Biggest Lie
Greetings all,
A few years back I began taking classes about the medicine wheel in the Andean tradition of shamanism. In that tradition we start always in the south. That is the place of the Sashamama, the mother serpent (or anaconda mama in street slang) she teaches us to shed our past. A lot of the medicine of the south is about letting go of old ideas and transmuting old wounds. One of our assignments was to uncover the biggest lie we ever told ourselves. That was the wound to be transmuted.
Now I've gone round the medicine wheel a few times and I continue to uncover old ideas that need to be shed to make peace with my past and move into my future. Recently in my musings I discovered one I had been harboring for decades. The lie goes something like this, "I am not strong." This originated from my childhood most likely because I was the youngest of several siblings. I was kind of small and I was never very good at sports. However the theme of not being strong evolved beyond the physical into the realms of mental and emotional reserves. It influenced my beliefs about how effective I could be in making decisions, being successful, and coping with the challenges of life.
Some people would agree that I am not strong. The funny thing is some of my biggest conflicts have been with people who have been afraid of my capabilities. They tended to try and play upon my lack of confidence in my own strength. Much of this I didn't realize until later. I've repeatedly rubbed a few people the wrong way energetically, and yet still deep down is this lie that I am not strong. In part this is due to societal views on what strength is, particularly for men. I don't heft huge weights, nor am I the one you think of when moving heavy furniture or appliances. Ironically I work in clay which happens to be a very physically demanding medium. I also own my own business and run a fairly successful Youtube channel. So what is the deal about not being strong?
Let's try an experiment. Think of someone who epitomizes strength. Don't try to be politically correct or deep just pick the first person that comes to mind when you think strong. So who was it? Was it a man or a woman? What are the attributes of that person? Whomever sprang to mind for you will tell you a lot about your concept of power.
So what about you? Do you think you're not strong? Is that your biggest lie that you've told yourself? Is your lie about not being beautiful, talented, or worthy? Whatever your biggest lie is you most likely have story around why it has to be true. Beware of telling that story every time you do you make it harder to realize the lie. How do you expunge the lie and begin to see the truth about yourself? You begin by recognizing the lie that's been running/ruining your life. Maybe you haven't ever consciously given it much thought, maybe it has just been a subconscious mirroring of cultural views. Start looking into how you define your core concepts of the ideals you value: power, beauty, talent, worthiness. Are these your definitions or are they somebody else's you just adopted? Whenever you shame yourself or speak negatively about yourself ask yourself simply, "Is this really true?" You'd be surprised how often the answer is no.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
A few years back I began taking classes about the medicine wheel in the Andean tradition of shamanism. In that tradition we start always in the south. That is the place of the Sashamama, the mother serpent (or anaconda mama in street slang) she teaches us to shed our past. A lot of the medicine of the south is about letting go of old ideas and transmuting old wounds. One of our assignments was to uncover the biggest lie we ever told ourselves. That was the wound to be transmuted.
Now I've gone round the medicine wheel a few times and I continue to uncover old ideas that need to be shed to make peace with my past and move into my future. Recently in my musings I discovered one I had been harboring for decades. The lie goes something like this, "I am not strong." This originated from my childhood most likely because I was the youngest of several siblings. I was kind of small and I was never very good at sports. However the theme of not being strong evolved beyond the physical into the realms of mental and emotional reserves. It influenced my beliefs about how effective I could be in making decisions, being successful, and coping with the challenges of life.
Some people would agree that I am not strong. The funny thing is some of my biggest conflicts have been with people who have been afraid of my capabilities. They tended to try and play upon my lack of confidence in my own strength. Much of this I didn't realize until later. I've repeatedly rubbed a few people the wrong way energetically, and yet still deep down is this lie that I am not strong. In part this is due to societal views on what strength is, particularly for men. I don't heft huge weights, nor am I the one you think of when moving heavy furniture or appliances. Ironically I work in clay which happens to be a very physically demanding medium. I also own my own business and run a fairly successful Youtube channel. So what is the deal about not being strong?
Let's try an experiment. Think of someone who epitomizes strength. Don't try to be politically correct or deep just pick the first person that comes to mind when you think strong. So who was it? Was it a man or a woman? What are the attributes of that person? Whomever sprang to mind for you will tell you a lot about your concept of power.
So what about you? Do you think you're not strong? Is that your biggest lie that you've told yourself? Is your lie about not being beautiful, talented, or worthy? Whatever your biggest lie is you most likely have story around why it has to be true. Beware of telling that story every time you do you make it harder to realize the lie. How do you expunge the lie and begin to see the truth about yourself? You begin by recognizing the lie that's been running/ruining your life. Maybe you haven't ever consciously given it much thought, maybe it has just been a subconscious mirroring of cultural views. Start looking into how you define your core concepts of the ideals you value: power, beauty, talent, worthiness. Are these your definitions or are they somebody else's you just adopted? Whenever you shame yourself or speak negatively about yourself ask yourself simply, "Is this really true?" You'd be surprised how often the answer is no.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Just Friends
Greetings all,
I've been thinking this past week about how we think of friendships. Our culture has celebrated family and romantic relationships for a long time as the formulaic answer to happiness. I can't tell you how many times I've heard the phrase "we're just friends". Yes it is meant to distinguish between a romantic attachment rather than as a pejorative, but the qualifier "just" implies a lesser status.
Growing up I didn't have many friends. I actually didn't end up with any longterm friends until I got to high school. In my twenties I had intense friendships some which lasted and some that didn't. Having been a loner for most of my life I highly value friendship. It was in the past few years that I noticed that not everyone holds it in the same high honor. There is nothing like loneliness to make you appreciate good people except being around the wrong sort of people (which is its own sort of loneliness). I've had friendships end dramatically, and sometimes through fading and distance. Other friends I won't see for years and yet we still hold each other in our hearts. I've had friendships that have saved my life, others that have crushed my heart, Friendships have been my richest, deepest, and most enduring relationships. As such I am always up for making new friends. Every friend is its own adventure. So what's the deal with the "just" friends.
We live in a highly mobile culture. Families and individuals move around more than they did in generations past. It is rare for us to have a friend we've known since childhood. In some ways that explains why friendship hasn't gotten the respect it deserves. Neighborhoods have people coming and going every year, so getting to know people often takes more time than most of us have available. We have Facebook friends, and online forum friends, and sometimes we have never met. (Not to imply that you can't have meaningful online friends, but social support sometimes needs hugs). As we get older and start to get into romantic partnerships our friendships can dwindle particularly if our partners don't like the same sort of people we do. I've seen the scenario where a couple gets together and one of them will actively separate their partner them from their friends. I've seen where people after entering into a romantic relationship will simply forget they have friends unless that romance ends.
So where am I going with all this? Am I just ranting and complaining? I'll admit I am ranting just a bit. I just wonder if we've forgotten about the sheer joys of companionship. Having older relatives who have lived quite a long time it has struck me how important it is to keep friends and to keep making friends. We know ourselves through our relationships with others. In our families we often play a role that is very hard to change; we get to stretch our identities with friends. Friends are our traveling companions and you always want good companions for the road whether it be rough or easy going. What about you? Do you have your traveling companions? Do you value them and do they value you? Are you keeping the door open for new comers to your merry band? Do you make the time to connect with others? Has modern culture watered down your concept of friendship? What does it mean to you?
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
I've been thinking this past week about how we think of friendships. Our culture has celebrated family and romantic relationships for a long time as the formulaic answer to happiness. I can't tell you how many times I've heard the phrase "we're just friends". Yes it is meant to distinguish between a romantic attachment rather than as a pejorative, but the qualifier "just" implies a lesser status.
Growing up I didn't have many friends. I actually didn't end up with any longterm friends until I got to high school. In my twenties I had intense friendships some which lasted and some that didn't. Having been a loner for most of my life I highly value friendship. It was in the past few years that I noticed that not everyone holds it in the same high honor. There is nothing like loneliness to make you appreciate good people except being around the wrong sort of people (which is its own sort of loneliness). I've had friendships end dramatically, and sometimes through fading and distance. Other friends I won't see for years and yet we still hold each other in our hearts. I've had friendships that have saved my life, others that have crushed my heart, Friendships have been my richest, deepest, and most enduring relationships. As such I am always up for making new friends. Every friend is its own adventure. So what's the deal with the "just" friends.
We live in a highly mobile culture. Families and individuals move around more than they did in generations past. It is rare for us to have a friend we've known since childhood. In some ways that explains why friendship hasn't gotten the respect it deserves. Neighborhoods have people coming and going every year, so getting to know people often takes more time than most of us have available. We have Facebook friends, and online forum friends, and sometimes we have never met. (Not to imply that you can't have meaningful online friends, but social support sometimes needs hugs). As we get older and start to get into romantic partnerships our friendships can dwindle particularly if our partners don't like the same sort of people we do. I've seen the scenario where a couple gets together and one of them will actively separate their partner them from their friends. I've seen where people after entering into a romantic relationship will simply forget they have friends unless that romance ends.
So where am I going with all this? Am I just ranting and complaining? I'll admit I am ranting just a bit. I just wonder if we've forgotten about the sheer joys of companionship. Having older relatives who have lived quite a long time it has struck me how important it is to keep friends and to keep making friends. We know ourselves through our relationships with others. In our families we often play a role that is very hard to change; we get to stretch our identities with friends. Friends are our traveling companions and you always want good companions for the road whether it be rough or easy going. What about you? Do you have your traveling companions? Do you value them and do they value you? Are you keeping the door open for new comers to your merry band? Do you make the time to connect with others? Has modern culture watered down your concept of friendship? What does it mean to you?
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
Thursday, August 8, 2013
The Chase
They say the thrill is in the chase. There is certainly an adrenaline rush when pursuing a goal. When you push through your limitations the feeling of exhilaration can be almost addictive, but when the goal is a person or a relationship that feeling tends to fall flat. Sometimes in our pursuit of companionship we forget ourselves.
What am I getting at you may ask. Well one trait I express is that I put a lot of energy in maintaining connection and communication with friends and potential friends. I tend to be the social hub for several different communities of people. I mean here I am posting every week trying to connect with a readership. It is easy for me to sometimes forget that connections are not something to chase after.
Yes you heard me right. You shouldn't have to chase people. If you think chasing someone is romantic then you've been seduced by pop culture. This goes for friendships too. If someone is placing a lot of obstacles and tests in your path to see if you are "worthy" to know then I have another secret to impart...they're not worth knowing. If you have to go out of your way to get someone to like you and see what you have to bring to the table, then they're also probably not a keeper for your social support network. There are also those you and I both know that seem to like you, but are chronically busy. I mean all the time, so much so that you have to constantly initiate contact just to make sure you still have their correct number or email address. Again think hard what are you getting out of this?
So now you may be wondering if you stop putting so much effort into connecting with others what will happen. Will you turn into a hermit? Will you be forgotten? Well I am not suggesting you stop reaching out to people, but rather make sure that the people you are reaching out to are meeting you halfway. It always comes down to balance. In my line of work I have to reach out for business purposes. I have to network and make new contacts, get students registered for classes, and get people interested in what I do. In my personal life however I am beginning to adopt a philosophy of relaxed communication.
Why do we chase people? Well most likely it is insecurity. We feel if we don't put on a show and do the footwork we might just end up alone and unloved. It's that basic underlying pattern of "I'm not worthy and nobody will like me so I best try really hard." Ah lovely self doubt how you make us pine for those unworthy of our attention. This is really all about yourself, I mean the chase is ultimately about a need to control how much others value you. There is a famous line from the "Wizard of Oz" (the movie I can't remember if it is in the book), "The heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." That's an awful message really. That sort of thinking will make you miserable.
So does any of this apply to you? I wouldn't know, I haven't been stalking you. (Okay maybe just that one time). Seriously though do you spend your time in your personal life trying to convince people you're worth their time . Do you have people in your life that make you feel like a phone stalker. Do you think if you stopped initiating contact, or going out of your way for someone then you wouldn't see or hear from them? I suggest you try an experiment, just stop. Allow others to approach you. Try it out for a week. Now this is not a "test" of anyone's loyalty this is to see how much energy you put into maintaining contact. What would happen if you just accepted the fact that you are valuable and worthy all by yourself? You might be surprised about the quality of company when you resonate with that.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
What am I getting at you may ask. Well one trait I express is that I put a lot of energy in maintaining connection and communication with friends and potential friends. I tend to be the social hub for several different communities of people. I mean here I am posting every week trying to connect with a readership. It is easy for me to sometimes forget that connections are not something to chase after.
Yes you heard me right. You shouldn't have to chase people. If you think chasing someone is romantic then you've been seduced by pop culture. This goes for friendships too. If someone is placing a lot of obstacles and tests in your path to see if you are "worthy" to know then I have another secret to impart...they're not worth knowing. If you have to go out of your way to get someone to like you and see what you have to bring to the table, then they're also probably not a keeper for your social support network. There are also those you and I both know that seem to like you, but are chronically busy. I mean all the time, so much so that you have to constantly initiate contact just to make sure you still have their correct number or email address. Again think hard what are you getting out of this?
So now you may be wondering if you stop putting so much effort into connecting with others what will happen. Will you turn into a hermit? Will you be forgotten? Well I am not suggesting you stop reaching out to people, but rather make sure that the people you are reaching out to are meeting you halfway. It always comes down to balance. In my line of work I have to reach out for business purposes. I have to network and make new contacts, get students registered for classes, and get people interested in what I do. In my personal life however I am beginning to adopt a philosophy of relaxed communication.
Why do we chase people? Well most likely it is insecurity. We feel if we don't put on a show and do the footwork we might just end up alone and unloved. It's that basic underlying pattern of "I'm not worthy and nobody will like me so I best try really hard." Ah lovely self doubt how you make us pine for those unworthy of our attention. This is really all about yourself, I mean the chase is ultimately about a need to control how much others value you. There is a famous line from the "Wizard of Oz" (the movie I can't remember if it is in the book), "The heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." That's an awful message really. That sort of thinking will make you miserable.
So does any of this apply to you? I wouldn't know, I haven't been stalking you. (Okay maybe just that one time). Seriously though do you spend your time in your personal life trying to convince people you're worth their time . Do you have people in your life that make you feel like a phone stalker. Do you think if you stopped initiating contact, or going out of your way for someone then you wouldn't see or hear from them? I suggest you try an experiment, just stop. Allow others to approach you. Try it out for a week. Now this is not a "test" of anyone's loyalty this is to see how much energy you put into maintaining contact. What would happen if you just accepted the fact that you are valuable and worthy all by yourself? You might be surprised about the quality of company when you resonate with that.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
Friday, August 2, 2013
Ascension and Embodiment
The past few years we've heard a lot about ascension in the metaphysical circuit. The solstice of 2012 (or as I liked to call it THE GREAT CONJUNCTION) has come and gone. When we look around at our world it still seems neck deep in crises. Where is this promised golden age? The problem I think is the misunderstanding of the ascension idea.
The picture we have been painted by various channelled messages and new age thought about ascension has been one where everybody just wakes up and suddenly agrees on the same things. It sounds like the metaphysical version of 1984 when you examine it. When in our entire history have we all agreed on anything? The only way that would be possible is with some vast system of mind control. (The Mooneagle isn't ruling that out, but who watches the watchmen)? In other versions it dictates a rapid ascension of those that "embrace these energies (or ideas)" and continued struggle and extra suffering for those who do not. Does that sound judgmental at all? Of course not it's for their good right?
When I have looked at how these ideas work I have noticed that the solutions all seem to come from outside. I'm not saying that you can't get solutions or ideas from elsewhere, but I doubt seriously that they appear out of nowhere. When I've had a solution just come out of the blue it is usually something I'd been working intently on and contemplating for a while.
Contrast this with the idea of embodiment. It's not as fancy at first, for one we have to stay in our flesh suits. It requires being present, being conscious (not that ascension doesn't), and fully engaging with the world around us. By fully engaging I mean coming out of our heads and truly feeling our lives. In the past I have been guilty of meditating my feelings away, living in the abstract rather than the visceral. Ascension is great don't get me wrong, but what our world truly needs is some of these high energies anchored securely here by the people making choices. We forget that the world is a shared dream. When we don't fully embody the energies of spirit by placing it in some ethereal realm we cut ourselves off from our ability to change the nature of the dream. We can then fall prey to those that want to shape the dream to their benefit at the expense of others. Things like media, culture and religion all attempt to control the narrative of the dream. Some of them mean well, but even so they present an incomplete picture. The more we embody, the more conscious we become of the dream like nature of our reality.
Embodiment is not easy. It requires us to feel strongly. That means sometimes it hurts. If you think spiritual growth means not having to feel unpleasant emotions I have disappointing news for you. There are times when I feel awful about everything, and yet it seems from those places I have moved into even higher patterns of life. It's my goal to fully embody the quality of joy, but what most people don't realize is to do that you must also experience deep sorrow. The weight of depression has caused me to develop skills and strengths I never would have found in any other way. It caused me to seek new ways of being, to seek change. Let's face it if we felt awesome all the time we'd never change.
So how about yourself? Are you living in your head trying to ascend to some ideal plane of existence where the problems just drop away? Are you mired deep in the pit of collective nightmares? Are you trying your hardest not to feel fully? Well friend you aren't alone. Gandhi said to be the change you wish to see in the world. If you believe in that idea embodiment might just be for you. What energy would you like to see more of in the world: love, peace, wisdom, creativity, joy, innovation? Pick one or pick all of them, and then embody them. That is how you are the change. You live them, you feel them, and ultimately you become them.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
The picture we have been painted by various channelled messages and new age thought about ascension has been one where everybody just wakes up and suddenly agrees on the same things. It sounds like the metaphysical version of 1984 when you examine it. When in our entire history have we all agreed on anything? The only way that would be possible is with some vast system of mind control. (The Mooneagle isn't ruling that out, but who watches the watchmen)? In other versions it dictates a rapid ascension of those that "embrace these energies (or ideas)" and continued struggle and extra suffering for those who do not. Does that sound judgmental at all? Of course not it's for their good right?
When I have looked at how these ideas work I have noticed that the solutions all seem to come from outside. I'm not saying that you can't get solutions or ideas from elsewhere, but I doubt seriously that they appear out of nowhere. When I've had a solution just come out of the blue it is usually something I'd been working intently on and contemplating for a while.
Contrast this with the idea of embodiment. It's not as fancy at first, for one we have to stay in our flesh suits. It requires being present, being conscious (not that ascension doesn't), and fully engaging with the world around us. By fully engaging I mean coming out of our heads and truly feeling our lives. In the past I have been guilty of meditating my feelings away, living in the abstract rather than the visceral. Ascension is great don't get me wrong, but what our world truly needs is some of these high energies anchored securely here by the people making choices. We forget that the world is a shared dream. When we don't fully embody the energies of spirit by placing it in some ethereal realm we cut ourselves off from our ability to change the nature of the dream. We can then fall prey to those that want to shape the dream to their benefit at the expense of others. Things like media, culture and religion all attempt to control the narrative of the dream. Some of them mean well, but even so they present an incomplete picture. The more we embody, the more conscious we become of the dream like nature of our reality.
Embodiment is not easy. It requires us to feel strongly. That means sometimes it hurts. If you think spiritual growth means not having to feel unpleasant emotions I have disappointing news for you. There are times when I feel awful about everything, and yet it seems from those places I have moved into even higher patterns of life. It's my goal to fully embody the quality of joy, but what most people don't realize is to do that you must also experience deep sorrow. The weight of depression has caused me to develop skills and strengths I never would have found in any other way. It caused me to seek new ways of being, to seek change. Let's face it if we felt awesome all the time we'd never change.
So how about yourself? Are you living in your head trying to ascend to some ideal plane of existence where the problems just drop away? Are you mired deep in the pit of collective nightmares? Are you trying your hardest not to feel fully? Well friend you aren't alone. Gandhi said to be the change you wish to see in the world. If you believe in that idea embodiment might just be for you. What energy would you like to see more of in the world: love, peace, wisdom, creativity, joy, innovation? Pick one or pick all of them, and then embody them. That is how you are the change. You live them, you feel them, and ultimately you become them.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
Friday, July 26, 2013
Measure of Success
Greetings all,
July had been a slow month until this week. (Thank you despacho ceremony). Slow enough that I had time to reflect on the past year and actually this phase of my life. The slowness of my business for three weeks had in one way been a blessing, as it gave me space to process some deep wounds. I also got some personal research and work done that will end up serving myself and clients well. I transmuted a lot of heavy feelings (okay yes I cried but you would've too). Still about a week before the upturn in client sessions I was getting down on how successful I perceived myself to be. I coined the phrase, "Ok Universe if you don't start supporting me, I'll break up with you and start seeing another Universe on the side." It was funny and actually I've been working more actively since with parallel universes. (There's lots to choose from). However it really occurred to me that the universe was supporting me with the extra time and space to process.
My clients sometimes think I am just this mellow guy who has it all worked out. The truth is I have my own challenges in both my personal and professional life. I am affected by the events of the world and everyday life. I am also affected by the collective idea of success. I grew up in the mainstream culture. There is a narrative about success. Basically we want everyone to recognize us and our work and pat us on the back. Sometimes we get that, whether it is in the form of more clients, more money, professional awards or acknowledgement. We won't always be recognized to the extent we think we "need" to be successful.
I got to thinking about how we measure our success. What if we changed it a bit? Is it enough for us to know that the work we do is of good quality if our needs are getting met? Are we confusing goal achievements or social adulations with success? I know I look at my youtube channel all the time seeing if I have new comments or how many views I have received in a week. I got so excited when I first hit 100,000 views. of course then I realized some videos top that in less than a few hours. It got me thinking about how well known I want to be. I basically just want to be known enough so that I can get to do the work I love doing and live comfortably. I wouldn't want to be like Oprah I wouldn't have privacy. I like to keep my life pretty insulated particularly because of the type of work I do. At the same time my ego is saying, "You fool be famous!" My ego wants to get into more exclusive places I guess. This is of course a bit premature, I'm nowhere near even a million hits on my youtube channel. Hmmm perhaps I should change the title of this blog to ramblings rather than musings.
Well let's break it down now for you. Do you consider yourself successful? How do you define success? Is your definition too narrow? Do you discount accomplishments just because others don't see them as special? Is success more important to you than happiness? What if happiness became part of your definition of success? Muse on those this week and let me know if you come up with anything.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
July had been a slow month until this week. (Thank you despacho ceremony). Slow enough that I had time to reflect on the past year and actually this phase of my life. The slowness of my business for three weeks had in one way been a blessing, as it gave me space to process some deep wounds. I also got some personal research and work done that will end up serving myself and clients well. I transmuted a lot of heavy feelings (okay yes I cried but you would've too). Still about a week before the upturn in client sessions I was getting down on how successful I perceived myself to be. I coined the phrase, "Ok Universe if you don't start supporting me, I'll break up with you and start seeing another Universe on the side." It was funny and actually I've been working more actively since with parallel universes. (There's lots to choose from). However it really occurred to me that the universe was supporting me with the extra time and space to process.
My clients sometimes think I am just this mellow guy who has it all worked out. The truth is I have my own challenges in both my personal and professional life. I am affected by the events of the world and everyday life. I am also affected by the collective idea of success. I grew up in the mainstream culture. There is a narrative about success. Basically we want everyone to recognize us and our work and pat us on the back. Sometimes we get that, whether it is in the form of more clients, more money, professional awards or acknowledgement. We won't always be recognized to the extent we think we "need" to be successful.
I got to thinking about how we measure our success. What if we changed it a bit? Is it enough for us to know that the work we do is of good quality if our needs are getting met? Are we confusing goal achievements or social adulations with success? I know I look at my youtube channel all the time seeing if I have new comments or how many views I have received in a week. I got so excited when I first hit 100,000 views. of course then I realized some videos top that in less than a few hours. It got me thinking about how well known I want to be. I basically just want to be known enough so that I can get to do the work I love doing and live comfortably. I wouldn't want to be like Oprah I wouldn't have privacy. I like to keep my life pretty insulated particularly because of the type of work I do. At the same time my ego is saying, "You fool be famous!" My ego wants to get into more exclusive places I guess. This is of course a bit premature, I'm nowhere near even a million hits on my youtube channel. Hmmm perhaps I should change the title of this blog to ramblings rather than musings.
Well let's break it down now for you. Do you consider yourself successful? How do you define success? Is your definition too narrow? Do you discount accomplishments just because others don't see them as special? Is success more important to you than happiness? What if happiness became part of your definition of success? Muse on those this week and let me know if you come up with anything.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Sensitivity
Greetings all,
I hope you've been enjoying the Grand Water Trine in the sky this month. I've been finding it a challenge myself. Emotions have been magnified, fears have been brought to light, and the past has reared its head complete with a bulleted list of regrets. Some are telling me that this the cleanse before the renewal. Remaining aware of it has been a real test of my resolve.
Emotions are the great challenges. They paint the events of our life. They color our internal narrative. Are we in a tragedy or a comedy? For someone like me they pose an extra challenge. I have to first determine whether what I am feeling is mine or not. You'd be surprised about how many feelings we carry that aren't really ours to start with. Even if it is only a percentage separating out what isn't ours makes a huge difference.
Another challenge for empathic people is criticism. Nobody of course enjoys criticism, but it hits doubly hard for empaths. The thing which is the hardest to remember when it happens is that just because someone says something about you doesn't make it true. I have a habit of looking at myself under a very fine microscope and cataloguing the shortcomings. So when somebody comes along and criticizes one of them it is redundant. Rest assured I am very aware of my flaws. We vacation together that's how well we know each other.
So if you are like me you have been told that you are too sensitive. I would say perhaps I am, but that is why people come to see me. They want to use my sensitivity. So is it a weakness or a strength? The answer is it is both. However I have learned to be wary of people who too often use the line, "you're too sensitive." Usually in context of the situations I have experienced people who rely on that after saying hurtful things are telling me that my feelings don't matter, and that their need to be clever or superior is more important than treating me with respect. I've also heard the terms, "Well I'm just blunt take me or leave me." Experience again has taught me to go ahead and leave. Who wants to hang around people who are going to constantly beat you over your head with your flaws.
Now some of you are going to think well that is all just ego. You'd be right. It is ego. It's my ego and I own that. I don't see a reason to let a part of myself be abused. You wouldn't let someone come to your home and beat up on your dog, why is the social aspect of yourself less important? In the spiritual community ego bashing is commonplace. I've heard people talk about "killing" the ego or "destroying" the ego. That seems a bit violent to me. I've also noticed that some of these same people are bent on "helping" others destroy their ego. Mostly they do it by being assholes, and kicking people when they are down. When confronted they hide behind the "spiritual lesson" they are teaching. What you have here is a spiritualized ego. This is the ego on righteousness steroids. The ego has become enmeshed with the spiritual identity (not that I would know anything about that...).
So are you being too sensitive? Perhaps, or you could also be surrounded by less than kind people. I'm not saying that you shouldn't entertain criticism. I am saying that there comes a time to show it to the door and turn in for the night. Look around you. Look at your relationships. Is there someone who seems to need to hurt the feelings of those they deem too sensitive? Are you carrying more than your fair share of emotional burdens? Are you respecting the feelings of others? Are you respecting your own feelings? I will let you ponder that for a week and hope that you are feeling better for it.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
I hope you've been enjoying the Grand Water Trine in the sky this month. I've been finding it a challenge myself. Emotions have been magnified, fears have been brought to light, and the past has reared its head complete with a bulleted list of regrets. Some are telling me that this the cleanse before the renewal. Remaining aware of it has been a real test of my resolve.
Emotions are the great challenges. They paint the events of our life. They color our internal narrative. Are we in a tragedy or a comedy? For someone like me they pose an extra challenge. I have to first determine whether what I am feeling is mine or not. You'd be surprised about how many feelings we carry that aren't really ours to start with. Even if it is only a percentage separating out what isn't ours makes a huge difference.
Another challenge for empathic people is criticism. Nobody of course enjoys criticism, but it hits doubly hard for empaths. The thing which is the hardest to remember when it happens is that just because someone says something about you doesn't make it true. I have a habit of looking at myself under a very fine microscope and cataloguing the shortcomings. So when somebody comes along and criticizes one of them it is redundant. Rest assured I am very aware of my flaws. We vacation together that's how well we know each other.
So if you are like me you have been told that you are too sensitive. I would say perhaps I am, but that is why people come to see me. They want to use my sensitivity. So is it a weakness or a strength? The answer is it is both. However I have learned to be wary of people who too often use the line, "you're too sensitive." Usually in context of the situations I have experienced people who rely on that after saying hurtful things are telling me that my feelings don't matter, and that their need to be clever or superior is more important than treating me with respect. I've also heard the terms, "Well I'm just blunt take me or leave me." Experience again has taught me to go ahead and leave. Who wants to hang around people who are going to constantly beat you over your head with your flaws.
Now some of you are going to think well that is all just ego. You'd be right. It is ego. It's my ego and I own that. I don't see a reason to let a part of myself be abused. You wouldn't let someone come to your home and beat up on your dog, why is the social aspect of yourself less important? In the spiritual community ego bashing is commonplace. I've heard people talk about "killing" the ego or "destroying" the ego. That seems a bit violent to me. I've also noticed that some of these same people are bent on "helping" others destroy their ego. Mostly they do it by being assholes, and kicking people when they are down. When confronted they hide behind the "spiritual lesson" they are teaching. What you have here is a spiritualized ego. This is the ego on righteousness steroids. The ego has become enmeshed with the spiritual identity (not that I would know anything about that...).
So are you being too sensitive? Perhaps, or you could also be surrounded by less than kind people. I'm not saying that you shouldn't entertain criticism. I am saying that there comes a time to show it to the door and turn in for the night. Look around you. Look at your relationships. Is there someone who seems to need to hurt the feelings of those they deem too sensitive? Are you carrying more than your fair share of emotional burdens? Are you respecting the feelings of others? Are you respecting your own feelings? I will let you ponder that for a week and hope that you are feeling better for it.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
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