Lost World

Greetings all,

I hope you are keeping well in your isolation.  I have my up times and down times.  This past week has been more down for me.  It is just beginning to sink in how long this may go on for, and what that means for my life and for the lives of so many others.

I like many folks out there am feeling a profound sense of grief and loss.  It is the loss of the world I knew.  The loss of normal is profoundly disturbing to me.  I find this odd because normal was not working for me.  I know I am not alone in this especially here in the States.  Normal pretty much gave us this pandemic.  It prioritized profits over life.  It normalized politicians holding citizen's basic needs hostage to play power games.  It celebrated cruelty and racism.  It devalued the people that actually keep the economy and the people of our society alive.  It was a world that was all about constant consumption, productivity, and environmental depredation.  We were literally pillaging the future to pay for the present.

So if it was so horrible why are we mourning its loss?  Well it is what we knew, and because it is all most of us knew it feels like a part of us has been ripped away.  It also bears a striking similarity to being in a toxic relationship.  It was a hard lesson to learn that even when I left a relationship that was abusive and toxic I sometimes still missed the person. Missing them didn't mean I was wrong about leaving.  I think what is going on right now is we are missing our relationship with our toxic society, even though it wasn't good for us and was slowly (or in some cases not so slowly) killing us. Still even for those of us who wanted massive societal change, we are just as upset as those content with the status quo.  There is so much uncertainty right now.  We know the world is changing but we don't know where the new path is taking us.  Human beings don't like uncertainty, we do just about anything to avoid it.

I think beyond all of the habituation we miss what we thought of as ourselves and our place in the world, even if the place sucked.  We knew where we were, who we were, and had a reasonable idea of where we were going.  We miss the idea of our lives, and the shapes that it filled in our days.  So many of our distractions are gone right now.  Work, socializing, and shopping being the foremost in those distractions. When I complained to one of my guides how lonely I was feeling they reminded me that I had been lonely most of my life.  When I  pointed out that before the pandemic I could at least go out to the movies or a store, they said, "You are confusing commerce with connection."  They also pointed out that I am not alone in this confusion.

Why am I telling you this?  Well I am quite sure many of you have reached the stage where you are uncertain what shape the new world will take as the old world passes away.  Make no mistake there will be no going back to what was before.  Too many people have paid with their lives for that to happen.  The world of humanity has stopped in a way it hasn't for quite some time.  Many people are questioning whether we should keep things going in the same direction when we start this locomotion back up, or whether we should lay new tracks.

So how about you?  Are you grieving the lost world?  Are you apprehensive of what form the new world will take?  Do you find yourself questioning your goals and where you want to go next?  Do you feel unmoored lost in a sea of shadowy prospects?  Well that's where most of us are.  It's ok to not know where this is going and where you will fit into the overall picture.  For now allow yourself to grieve the world that was.  Let out the tears, make allies of your fears.  Once you have done that take stock of the beauty that remains in the world and in yourself.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Striking a Balance

Greetings all,

I hope you and your loved ones are staying safe.  I have been more vocal as of late, but have been doing live casts on Facebook in order to air my thoughts.  Some lovely lady made the meme of something I said and thus the picture here at the top.  The sad thing is that this is what people will see on my professional page when they click on the blog link.  Still if they want fake love and light sentiments I am probably not the professional for them.  When I love you, it's more than just a surface emotion.

So let us take stock. We are in the middle of history.  Technically we always are, but only sometimes are we aware of it.  I have found it hard to remain stable and centered in the past few weeks.  The first  week when I was laid off (temporarily...most likely) from one of my teaching jobs I was not able to do much of anything.  I have rebounded a little, but some days I just drift through the day.  Social media has been both a blessing and a curse in this time.  It keeps me able to chat with many friends, but also I see the horrors again and again in the newsfeeds.

Hope is important, but I also feel like right now people are misusing it to try and not feel the grief of what we are going through.  People are dying and more will die yet.  The social fabric of our lives has  been torn asunder.  Here in the U.S. we have been given a hard lesson of just how vulnerable the majority of us are to disaster, and how little our representatives and leaders have our backs.  The lie of the land is that we are a place of opportunity,  I have seen three different responses one on the white lighter end of the spectrum and the other being on the conspiracy theory end of things.  Then there are those who are in denial.

So on the white light side of things you have folks saying this is all part of the plan of ascension and transformation.  We're going to be entering some kind of Golden Age where everyone stops being dicks, and loves one another.  For a Golden Age it sure is starting off with a lot of greed and blood.  Now I do think that this is a turning point in history, but I don't think the outcome is set in stone.  Will we change our ways and how we organize our society to take care of our brothers and sisters?  Will we begin to let the Earth heal?  I hope so, but if we do it will take collective action not just prayer and affirmations.  We have to be willing to face where we've allowed our own selfishness and apathy to contribute to the calamities of the world. We also have to be willing to change our own behavior and expectations.  Everything is not going to be alright, some people are going to lose that which they love the most for whatever world emerges out of this.  If we want to honor them and give that loss meaning, then we best be willing to act and hold people accountable.  Like it says in the meme, "Love and Light are not condoms."  They don't protect us from our own actions or inactions.

Now on the other side of this we have the doomsayers.  The illuminati preachers, the 5G apocalypsers, and the anti-vaxxer syndicate.  I will say this.  Conspiracies aren't that intricate, all you have to do is follow the money.  Really the culprits for this abominable response to a global crisis are not hard to spot.  I don't need to name them, if you can't figure out who they are you're not smart enough to understand this post.  I realize that was snarky, but my nerves are frayed.  Snarky is what I have left in the tank these days.  Posting these doom and gloom vast conspiracy plots online they seek to control the fear they feel by shoving it into a familiar compartment.  Just like the white lighters they are not committed to dealing with what is in front of them.

So that leaves us the deniers.  These folks always downplay things.  The climate is not changing, and even if it is we're not to blame.  Even if we are to blame, we can't do anything about it.  If we could do something about it then the economy would be ruined.  Oddly enough these old arguments have just been substituted for the virus.  It's not that serious.  Well it's not serious except for old people or sick people.  It's just like the flu.  It's better that some people die rather than ruining the economy.  I don't know how to explain to people that they should care that their actions can inadvertently kill someone.  Maybe not someone they know, but someone who matters to somebody.  Maybe it comes from having a culture of disposability.  We throw so much out right after we're done with it. I think that we've  over the years started to see people the same way.  When they serve no more use for us, we just dispose of them.

Why am I telling you this?  Well I find that expressing myself seems to be my way of dealing with the fear that the current crisis evokes.  I also want to impress upon you how much your actions in this time matter. The failings of our society are being exposed in high contrast.  We will have a narrow window to act to change things for the better, but that change is not guaranteed without our continued efforts.  It is easy to be sucked into the black holes of denial, fantasized spiritual optimism, or the web of conspiracies.  It is much more difficult to stand centered in who we are, and choose who we want to be in this pivotal moment.  Make no mistake this is a fulcrum of history, but even if we do change for the better it will still be a tragedy.  It will be a tragedy because we could have decided to do better without having so many people die.  We could have averted much of the coming suffering if we realized earlier that our own well being is intrinsically linked to everyone's well being.

How about you?  Are you balancing between trying to maintain hope amidst crisis while acknowledging the fear and grief?  Are you giving your power to false idols with pie in the sky philosophies?  Are you sure that you and you alone know the true movers and players in this world wide game of Risk?  Well slow down there slick, maybe you just need to sit with your feelings and have a good cry in the shower.  When you're done call one of your friends and check up on them, because right now the one thing we can do (and absolutely should do) is be kind.  If nothing else let us learn that our actions towards others have consequences, and that we should weigh those carefully.   Welcome to the new world, please treat it and each other well.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Fear Shaming

Greetings all,

Well now that many of you are self isolating you have no excuse for not taking the time to read my blog post.  I literally have a captive audience,  "ALL SHALL READ ME AND DESPAIR!!!"  (Sorry I was channeling some Lord of the Rings energy).

 Pretty sure this post will follow in the series of what I like to call , "Suck it LOA".  (Law of Attraction) Many of us right now are thinking fuck, shit, the world is insane!!!  It is, and some of us are pointing fingers at people who are afraid and making fun of them.  Well if you are doing that, you are being a dick.  Yes you, right there complete and total dick.  For those of us in the consciousness community the so called 'spiritual' folk, there has developed a hierarchy of emotions.  Things like love, joy, and peace sit at the top with the less fun emotions at the bottom.  We are told to shun these low vibration feelings.  You know because it is perfectly natural to only feel the good emotions, we are told to anesthetize ourselves to loss, fear, pain, and sadness.

I cancelled all my events, classes, and trips for the next few weeks (possibly months).  Prior to that I changed how I taught my classes,  and emphasized extra hygiene practices to minimize risks.  I teach to people in high risk categories for extra complications from COVID-19.  While I may be okay, I live with someone who has asthma and my teaching in various community centers puts vulnerable populations at risk.  So I have been extra cautious.  People have been making fun of me or implying I am flakey with my commitments.  Sheesh it's only a pandemic after all. Now that we are being asked to self isolate I see people attacking policies that are meant to mitigate the risks to the members of our community that have the most reason to be afraid.  Some people are treating me like I am somehow less spiritual than they thought.  (Oooh burn!) I have been upfront with folks for years that I am a person, not a guru, not an ascended master, and certainly not immune to the human condition.

Let me be clear.  If you are ranking emotions, then you are not being more evolved, you are just buying into a different illusion.  Fear is one of the first emotions that developed and for very good reason.  It keeps us alive.  Fear tries to keep us safe. It is our inner guardian.  It alerts us to danger, it preps our body to flee or fight.  You don't know what you are truly capable of until you fear for your life or the life sf someone you love.  The thing is we don't like being afraid, we try to get rid of the feeling as fast as possible.  Your fear is a part of you, when you give it away you are giving away part of yourself.  When we try to rid ourselves of it others can come take a hold of it, and then they control our fear.  If we claim it and accept it, then we can control our response to it.  Sometimes it dissipates, and sometimes not.  The point again is not to rid ourselves of it, but to join with it and become whole.  I have been afraid for myself, for my loved ones, my community, and the world.  You can't shame me out of my fear, it is mine so hands off fuckers!

Why am I telling you this?  Well many are afraid right now.  Fear is as much a part of us as love and joy.  To deny it, is to deny ourselves and our power to act.  If you are afraid, then be afraid, and then ask what your fear would like from you.  Trying to push it down or send it away just makes it operate in the background without the input of the rational mind.  Hence people buying up all the toilet paper.

How about you?  Are you listening to your fear?  Do you know what it wants to give to you, or are you trying to self isolate from yourself?  Sink into your heart.  Invite it in.  Give it the same loving attention that you give to the brighter feelings when they come to call.  It is not easy, but it is worthwhile.  I love you all and I hope you are keeping safe.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

P.S.  I did a teleconference related to what is going on, and made it available to the public on Patreon  click on the link to listen to it. https://www.patreon.com/posts/34781838

Being a Stand Out Person

Greetings all,

Here is a picture from a restorative week I had back in October.  I could use that again.

I haven't written much as I have been trying to get some other tasks done.  Today I finally got up the new web site with less than a month to go before the whole thing vanished. For my next trick I need to finish planning and creating materials for a day long workshop I plan to teach locally and in NYC. Work, work for a single hand will but little work command.  When you work for yourself like I do, it can seem like there is never a break.  (It's true I don't get sick days or paid vacation, and my healthcare premiums are double or triple yours).

As I watch the political drama unfold, I am concerned.  I am worried that someone like me who walks a path that is not well understood and far from the mainstream will end up with representatives that don't think I should be able to get the necessities of life unless I do things the way everyone else does.  We have built a world where the many support the few to the detriment of the Earth, to its creatures, and to its people. I am one of those people. The work I do is designed to help people restore harmony in themselves and their life.  In times past I would have been a valued member of a community, but the world has changed.  My skills don't translate immediately into increased sales, stock revenues, or market dominance.  What I do is for the people and for the Earth.  It is not easy to stand out.

Why am I telling you this?  Well you should know that even with all the tools at my disposal I struggle too.  I sometimes despair.  I too lose sleep with worry over the future.  Besides if you're not worried about the state of our world, you are not paying attention.  Aside from the societal troubles we have a climate crisis unfolding.  A crisis that could burst the soap bubble of civilization that we've been living in for the past few hundred years. Our species might not make it.  This is not alarmism, this is a probable future, and I deal in probable futures.

In these times of uncertainties I have no great solution to the troubles of the world.  I  offer one piece of advice only.  Try to be kind.  Try to live in the understanding that what ever you may be going through others are as well.  If you have no recourse left, then just try and be kind.  It may not fix your situation.  It might not change the course that history takes.  It will however change you, and those that you meet along the path.  If you are weighed down by grief let it make you kinder.  If you are afraid let it make you kinder.  If you are in pain let it make you kinder.  Kindness in a dark time or place may one day light a path to healing.  I hope you receive kindness on your journey and I hope that you pass it on.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

P.S.  Here's the new website  https://thomasmooneagle.com

How to be a friend

Greetings all,

First post of the year.  I'm still trying to define my new relationship with this blog.   Mostly I am waiting until I have something worthwhile to say, which is honestly not a weekly occurrence.  If I hear myself speaking in loops or having a particularly juicy conversation with someone I may make a mental note to perhaps explore it here.

I had planned to write about the misconceptions of my work, but it seemed a bit self indulgent and whiny.  I scrapped it and decided to write about what it takes to keep a Mooneagle in your life.  I have labored under the impression that I am a difficult person to get along with.  I'd like to say that this is not true, but I know I have my moments.  I am temperamental, and when I finally make up my mind about something I can be pretty inflexible.  I am weird and unlikely to fit in to most crowds or groups.  I couldn't fit in if I tried, and believe me I have tried.

If you still want a Mooneagle like me in your life here's what I need.  The first thing I need is your attention.  As the last born in a family, I can tell you attention is key.  The second thing I need is kindness.  I really can't stress this one enough folks, kindness will get you just about anything.  I remember kindness, I remember cruelty too, but that will get you a different kind of result.  Acceptance is also non-negotiable.  Yes I know I am not perfect (you should hear what my mind chatter says about me....bastard), but the more accepting you are the better I become.  Also I like to be included in things, even if I can't make it, I'm always touched by an invitation.

There are a few things you probably should not do.  Do not consider texting as quality interaction or support.  Texts are for quick check ins and quick questions and answers.  I require actual spoken language.  Do not patronize what I do, it is not a hobby.  I know it is strange and can seem exciting but I am not a magical mascot to be trounced out at parties for amusement.  (Yes this actually has happened).  I am an actual person with actual feelings, and my beliefs about spirit are no more ridiculous than anyone who believes in anything non-physical.  That doesn't mean you have to believe what I believe, just don't be a dick about it.

Why am I telling you this?  Well I read in the last few months from someone online that you shouldn't hang around with folks that make you feel like you are hard to love.  I spent a lot of time in my earlier days with folks like that, foolishly running after folks begging them to love me.  It has made me very insular. So I don't want to do that anymore.  In listing out what I would like out of friends and relationships it gives me permission to see what I want and don't want.  I don't think it is all that much to ask for.

What about you?  Have you ever really listed what you actually need from your relationships? We so often waste time pondering whether we are good enough for someone else, only to fail to wonder if they are bringing anything to the table.  Relationships are work, they take time and care.  We should evaluate them to make sure they are nourishing us as well.   We need to rid ourselves of the belief that we're lucky if anyone deigns to be a part of our life.  We should be grateful for our loved ones, provided that they are in fact loving.  So make your lists, and remember you have something of value to offer others, your time and your heart.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Puzzling Times

Greetings all,

Yes I have been away.  I thought I should get out one more post for the year before both it and the decade expire.  This past year it feels like several years of experience rolled into one.  I broke with my weekly blogging tradition as I turned inward.  There are some things not meant for public eyes.

Someone once described life as a puzzle with no edge pieces and no picture on the box to look at.  I tend to agree.  One of the biggest errors I have made was comparing my puzzle to other people's.  We all get different  pieces, and what will fit together in one life will not in another.  Life is also like a puzzle in the sense that you want to look at as many pieces as possible and sort them into what you're going to assemble first, usually the edge pieces, in real life basically finding out what we're not.  Some folks go the opposite route and find out exactly who they are before finding what they aren't.  Some never get far in either direction.

I myself don't really like doing the edge pieces.  I like to pick a point that has distinction and assemble out from there.  It is not the most efficient way to begin, but life is not always about efficiency.  It would explain a lot about my path.  I work on things, pulling together skills unsure of how it will all fit together in my life.  Sometimes it doesn't or exists only as a reference point.  At other times, years may pass before certain pieces join up to form a larger picture.

Lately I have been wondering if the puzzle I've been assembling is really the picture I thought it was. That can be a painful realization at least until something new comes together.  Right now in the time between the solstice and the new year there is a bit of breathing space.  The majority of the hustle and bustle of the season has passed.  We are left with ourselves, the gifts we have given, and those we have received.  So many people get sad this time of year because they have learned that these gifts rarely change our lives.  It is the people around us that do that, as well as ourselves.  Absences around a festive table are more keenly felt.  There is a great dissonance in the artificial holiday feelings society tries to manufacture for us and the realities of our lives.  We punish ourselves for not feeling those deep holiday sentiments.  I spent my Christmas with family and close friends and we put together a puzzle.  It wasn't anything extravagant, but we got to be with each other.  I am at the point in my life where I know there is nothing that comes wrapped in any box that will gift me with joy.  Joy will come from me and my relationships.

Why am I talking about puzzles?  Well like I said, life is a kind of puzzle.  Instead of being outside of it we're in it assembling it around ourselves.  You have to step back and look at what the pieces are forming every so often or you end up going nowhere, slowly.  Also like a puzzle you can't force pieces together that just don't fit.  You end up breaking the pieces and possibly the whole picture if you do that.  Raise your hand if you've ever tried to force something to work.  (If your hand is not raised maybe you should check your honesty settings).

How about you?  In this time between time, as the old year wanes and the new year and decade waits in the wings, are you assembling the puzzle pieces of life, or are you just puzzled?  Do you know what really brings you joy? Do you know where you fit together and whom fits with you?  If not this is a good time to reflect and sort your own pieces out.  There is no picture to look at to shape the pieces only your inner vision.  Don't bury your pain, let it point you to where you lack.  From there you can hopefully chart a joyous course into a new year.

Happy Holidays,
Thomas Mooneagle

Mastery BS

Greetings all,

I hope your transition from autumn into more wintery weather is going smoothly.  I've been toying around with some things that have come up in conversation and discussion with folks and thought that it would make a good topic to write about.

In spiritual communities there is a great amount of attention given to the idea of mastery.  I myself have been caught up in it from time to time.  From a young age I wanted to achieve some form of spiritual mastery.  I built up quite an identity around being the "spiritual" one in the group.  I wanted to transcend all my limitations and break free of my circumstances. It's not that I don't still want some of that, but I have come to realize that the idea of mastery that most people are looking for or talking about is bull shit.

I wanted to become a Master of Metaphysics in order to escape my problems.  I even was able to do that with a few of the minor issues.  The fly in the ointment was that this search for mastery and perfection wasn't solving my big problems (it actually created a fair number of big ones on its own), it was just an avoidance scheme. I was wanting to magic my problems away.  Real magic doesn't work that way. It takes work and the way it changes things is by first changing you. Wanting the world to change around you while you stay exactly the same is 'magical thinking' which is not the same thing as magic.

The other problem with wanting to achieve mastery is that when you state that to the Universe as your intended desire it will deliver onto you many teachable moments.  If you survive those (I emphasize the if) it will continue to shower upon thou most holy one, more and more of these opportunities.  Which is why several years ago I decided this whole mastery idea was crazy.  Maybe some folks are called to it, but I sure as hell am not one of them.  I have instead adopted the idea of growth.  I am no longer striving for mastery, only to be better than I was.  I no longer petition to be a master, just to be part of the solution.

Why am I telling you this?  Well I have had clients come to me looking to do the same thing as I was (the thing that almost put me in the ground prematurely).  What I discovered from a few quick questions is that what they wanted was a solution to their problematic situation.  The mastery track just looked like the quick fix or it was the, "I'm tired of all this crap and don't want to have to deal with the hassles of life but don't want to die therefore I should become an incarnate all powerful being." It's a bit extreme if you ask me, and most folks in a society tend to respond with either strait jackets or torches to deal with folks approaching that level.

So how about you?  Are you focusing on spiritual perfection when you should be focusing on learning a problem solving skillset?  Are you turning inwards, only to tune out the world?  Are you looking towards becoming a shining avatar, while your issues sit festering in your unloved and unacknowledged shadow?  Well maybe you should throw out the idea of mastery with the fad diet books that promise quick results without effort.  If you are truly called to ascend beyond the personal self, well then go for it.  Just make sure you aren't doing it in a mad dash to outrun your issues.  They will catch up to you.  You can't outrun your shadow, and should the focus of the light change it will be before you larger than ever.  You don't have to be perfect, to be of service, to be worthy of love, or to justify your life.  You just have to be you in the best way you can manage right now.  Take it from one mastery drop out to another.  You matter, just as you are.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle