I hope you've had a great week. I got through the floods we've had here just fine. I hope those of you on the east coast managed to make it safely through the storm from the last few days. The full moon came through and was kicking a lot of people in sensitive zones. I actually feel a bit of relief with this moon, but prior to it I've been getting kicked around too.
In one of my conversations with a good friend about the idea of enlightenment, I came to the conclusion that I just need to let it go. I need to let go of the idea of being well adjusted. I don't see myself as particularly well adjusted particularly when it comes to social and personal relationships. I simply don't fit the recognized societal patterns of interactions, and I'd been beating myself up for it for a long time. I mean I know I"m weird, hell I like weird things. You would think I wouldn't have the problem being the weird person in any given situation. That is sadly not the case. Our deep seated needs for belonging really get in the way of not caring about conformity.
I am fortunate in that people in my family tend to be long lived. I still have one living grandparent in her 90s. It is through the stories my grandmother has told me that I've realized that being normal is a relatively new thing. She remembers the time before television. She grew up during the great depression in a rural town. The stories she tells were often about the different quirks of the people (and of herself too) that she grew up around. To me it seems like people back then were less concerned about being into "normal" things and more about what they were interested in personally. There was radio, but they didn't have TV and the internet constantly reinforcing a particular paradigm.
This is not to say there was no concern about what the neighbors thought. She grew up on a farm in a small town where everybody knew everyone's business. The difference was they didn't have as many cultural media references telling them what the norms for everyone was. It was more local. In sociology there is a study that tracks happiness in the US with bowling. The more we bowled as a nation the happier we were. Now when television came along people stayed in more and watched other people do things. Besides the ads there was the more subtle but also more insidious product placement. Those TV homes have their couches, appliances, and fashions for the cast. TV became our culture, and we started comparing our lives to our fictional counterparts. Well as you know comparing our lives with others always makes us happier.....not.
So why am I telling you this? Well for good or ill, in times past people were left more to their own devices. They had to investigate and find out what worked for them. They didn't seem to worry about being "well adjusted", they were good if they had a family and a friend or two. Between social media, movie and films, and the obsession of self improvement it is difficult to just appreciate yourself where you are in this moment. For that reason I'm letting go of having to be well adjusted. I don't need it to deserve love and respect. I don't need it to be worthy of making a good living. I don't need it to avoid being punished by a jealous deity after my physical form dies.
How about you? What self improvement treadmill has you running in eternal circles simply to become worthy of self love? I'm not saying we should never improve, grow, or change. I am saying we shouldn't with hold our self respect and love for ourselves until we reach some obligatory standard (which may be nebulously defined or unhealthy). Love yourself where you are, not ten pounds from now, not after a promotion, not after you've achieved more. Honor and care for yourself as you are, and see what happens.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
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