Retreading

Greetings all,

Well now we're most of the way through the holidays.  Anyone out of breath yet?  This month has been not just a whirlwind but a hurricane of activity.  I'm late again with all the things going on here, but I remain committed to keeping up with my blog, YouTube channel, and ceremonies.

In these past few weeks it seems as though I have been retreading old tracks.  Old friends have reappeared, missed opportunities have gotten a second chance.  Emotional patterns have resurfaced either to be cleansed or examined for their purpose.  I found myself on the road the day after Christmas quite unexpectedly.  It wasn't a certainty until a day or so before after the weather forecast turned out clear.  I'm not one to travel widely in winter, but sometimes you have to take the journey when the paths are singing.

I drove to Gatlinburg a place I haven't been for seven years.  I hadn't been in Tennessee at all since 2007.  Although I used to go there quite frequently.  Family ties brought me back again and again, but now most of my family that lived there has passed onto the next life or they have moved.  I drove down once familiar roads seeing the rock formations I'd look for on each drive through the mountains.  I had an odd mix of familiarity and disorientation.  Roads do change, detours appear.  So what summoned me to the Smoky Mountains?  A contact I had made years back when I was a work-study student at a craft school (lower case c crafts means arts as opposed to Crafts which are only taught at Hogwarts).  I had made friends with the woman who ran the book store/ supply store at the school.  I found out that I made quite an impression.  That is how I came to have work in a gallery down in Gatlinburg.

I am often surprised at how people remember me.  I don't generally know the impact I have upon people.  I think the first time I ever realized people were even paying attention was about two years ago when I went to a seminar.  Someone came up to me and said, "You're Thomas Mooneagle,  I love Thomas Mooneagle!"  They knew me from my YouTube channel, it was the first and only time that has happened in public.  It was and continues to be strange as people connect with me via Facebook or email to hear how I have affected them.  It's not something I am always comfortable with, and I don't think that I am alone in that.  While it is good to contemplate our choices and how they affect ourselves and others, we simply cannot fathom the impact of small everyday actions.  At least we can't all the time, on occasion a general reflection on our overall actions is a good thing.  Just so long as we don't continually second guess our everything we do.

So this past connection drew me back to a place that had been quite meaningful to me.  As if that wasn't enough of a retreading of the sands of time, I had another contact from a past era.  This year I have expanded my social circle quite a bit (I pruned it too but you have to now and then), and it was through a random meeting that I found that someone new to me was friends with someone I used to chat with quite a bit, but had lost track of.  Well just this weekend we finally got a chance to sit down at a party and talk face to face.  You might say that was coincidence, but I have the third instance the one that proves the pattern.  For years I have had an internet/phone buddy I met on a forum in the long ago.  Never met in person, but we've talked for years.  They even helped me beta test a few things for my healing practice.  Well on my impromptu trip down to the mountains I finally had my chance to meet this friend.  He even put me up for the night so I didn't need to get a hotel (the Mooneagle always appreciates this as he finds hotels hard to sleep in).  Odd thing never having met and yet we just chatted on like we've done on the phone.  No awkwardness.

Now not all this recycling of the past has been hearts and rainbows.  I've noticed in myself old hurts and resentments rising to the surface.  I've found myself thinking down old dead end streets of self inflicted wounds.  I've wondered sheesh will this pattern never die?  How many times must I kill you?  It's like a Friday the 13th or Halloween movie you just can't get rid of the monster.  So what is all that about?

Our past lives in us and only us.  If you think it is shared ask a family member about a particular event from years back, one that was emotionally charged.  Everyone remembers it differently especially on matters of who started something, or what so and so said to your mother.  You get the picture.  Your past is yours and yours alone.  The lens in which we view it has a lot to do with whether it is a burden or a blessing.  Take a good memory, it can lend you strength or be a source of contentment in hard times.  It can also be a source of loss for something whose time is no longer.  Goodbye is a hard word with teeth and talons.  Yet it is part of the human experience.  It is central to the human experience, in every hello there is an eventual goodbye.  Still it can be a good farewell or a bad one.  Some of my most satisfying experiences have been wishing someone goodbye and showing them the door.  See I just retread a memory right there in front of you.  Were you paying attention?

So how about you?  What has arisen from the past?  Is it giving you an opportunity?  Is it wishing you goodbye?  Is it pointing out something that still lives in you that needs to be reborn or is it something that needs to die?  Who keeps popping up from the long ago?  How are you different in your relation to them?  Are you different?  Are you really, or are you just wearing different clothes?  Are you wearing clothes?  So much to contemplate before the year counts down and a brand shiny new one takes it place.  It is time to walk again the paths we know or think we know and discover anything precious we may have dropped along the way, and perhaps empty our pockets of that which we no longer need carry.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle


p.s.  The gallery where my work is being sold (officially made several sales hurrah!) is called Dragonfly Art Dimensions located in Gatlinburg, TN.  If you are in the Smokies definitely check them out.

Solstice of Thunder

Greetings all,

I'm late with this entry, but I've been a very busy bee this past week.  I've been closing a deal and planning a trip.  I've been doing holiday baking, finishing up holiday gifts, and I led a gathering of weather shaman as well as led a drumming ceremony and despacho with one of my teachers.  It's no wonder I am so tired.

It all started with an idea.  With my Year of Transformation one of the benefits is the quarterly drumming ceremonies, basically on the solstices and the equinoxes I drum for power and blessings on behalf of the participants.  A year ago I attended an enormous drumming event.  There were over a hundred people drumming to celebrate the solstice and the end of the Mayan calendar.  Since then I have wanted to do my ceremonies in community, at least on the solstices.  I tend to drum alone on the equinoxes.   I was planning a drumming gathering and my teacher was too, so we decided to combine our events.

The first thing we did of course was to journey to make sure we could even hold the event.  December is a bit unpredictable.  We've already had one snow and ice storm and you never know when another one will blow through.  My first journey was to the weather spirits to ask if the roads would be clear and safe for travel.  We were told there would be a window for us to hold our event.  I was thinking we would have to worry about snow or ice, but we ended up with thunderstorms.  Forecasts were calling for 5-6 inches of rain and flash flooding.  There is a creek right near my teacher's house as well as a pond where the road dips down a steep hill.  I was worried that the road would be underwater.  I kept repeating to myself, "They told us we could hold our event I'll just trust that we can."  When I arrived the creek was still in its banks and the pond had not overflowed.  The weather had scared off a few of the participants which left the event packed instead of being insanely crowded.

I am lucky in that I have 3 shamanic teachers.  Two of them live locally.  Both of them were there last night.  I was given the reins for the ceremonies.  So here I was leading ceremony in front of the people who taught me and a group much larger than I had ever worked in front of before.  I was very nervous. (Yes I do get nervous when I work in front of a lot of people).  At least a third of the room were authorities in one or more metaphysical fields.  No pressure at all you know.

Which of course brings me to the solstice itself.  The winter solstice is the time when the world (well at least north of the tropics) is at its darkest.  Here we are forced to rely more on what is inside of us rather than the light around us.  We carry the light within us, and it is in the dark that we find out the quality of our light.  What is our power and how well do we apply it?  These are what the starkness of winter makes us look at.  The trees are bare dreaming their roots deep into the ground.  We too must go deep within ourselves and keep the spark of light alive within our hearts.  This time of the year we feast and gather with loved ones to share our light and warmth.  This is our response to the winter solstice.  In Faery the good folk feast, the winter court celebrates the height of the darkness, the summer court celebrates the return of the light.  We have to find our light and discover what it illuminates in us and in others.

I said this and more when I called in the space.  I donned my mask of leaves and shared my light and that of my drum with the circle as they shared their light.  It was beautiful, lifting the heart and filling it with joy.  We built our despacho and filled it with flowers, candies, wine, and our prayers.  When we went to burn it the wind quieted the rain stopped and a stillness came  upon the glade we were standing in.  For the length of time it took for the bundle to burn the rain held off, and the wind stayed calm.  The weather spirits had said we would have a window to perform our ceremonies and we made use of it.  We also thanked weather often and profusely.  The miraculous thing of course was the moment we all came back inside (for the food of course)  a huge flash of lightning and clap of thunder broke the skies.  A torrent of rain began and didn't stop for over an hour.  It started as soon as we finished.  Some might call it coincidence, but I call it as I see it and that was weather being generous at the same time demonstrating its power over the events of our lives.

Winter is a good time to reflect on the past year and to make plans for the new one ahead.  I felt called to gratitude for this ceremony.  I was grateful just to be able to hold it, that my teacher opened her home to host it, and that so many people joined in to make it so powerful.  This is the time to stoke our inner fire and focus our light.  What are you focusing on?

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Time skipped

Greetings everyone,

I am happy to report that I have completed all my holiday shopping.  It is time to breathe a big sigh of relief and try to get some much needed relaxation infused into my life right before holiday madness descends on us all.

I've been noticing a curious thing the past few months.  Time has not quite behaved itself.  It's been moving around, expanding, and contracting.  My first real experience of time dilation was the Day of the Dead when I made my midnight ride.  I moved through that drive in almost half the time it should have taken.  I've also had time contract on me particularly when I am working on making something.  That is nothing new time has always run away with me when I have done creative work.  My perception of it alters which is a right brained phenomena.

This past week or so though someone else has noticed the time around me going all wonky. (Wonky being the technical term for a very timey whimey occurrence).  I swim three times a week as part of my fitness routine.  It helps keep me sane and on somewhat of a normal schedule.  My sister swims with me twice a week.  Now we swim at different rates she is steadier pace and can go longer but I swim a bit faster.  Lately during my swim my sister asks me what lap I am on and when I answer she is dumbfounded.  Apparently even though she usually starts a few minutes before me I end up being almost even or ahead of her after a few minutes in the water.  Now I know what you're thinking, that I just swim faster.  However by observation I don't swim that much faster.  In fact I did a little experiment on the day that I swam alone.  I checked the clock right before I got in the water swam my 20 laps and then got out.  Maybe 16 minutes had passed, but it was noticeably under 20.  I kept count carefully still it was unreal that I had swam a kilometer in under 20 minutes.  Not that it can't be done.  It's just that I wasn't winded, I didn't have anything close to a grueling pace if anything I thought I had been quite leisurely.

So what exactly was going on?  The only thing I can lay my mind on is that while I swim I also mentally chant mantras.  It helps to focus me and keeps my mind from dwelling on worries or get caught up in a daydream.   I was definitely swimming my intended distance,  but I was doing it easily without rush and still finishing before others who are either swimming at similar speeds or are going even faster.  

So why do I mention this to you?  Have I finally run out of topics for the blog?  Well first I write about what catches my attention and this has.  It raises interesting questions about time.  Also this month I have revisited healing across time with a new and improved healing the past video.  I've also been working with ancestral healing for people.  So I have been playing in the sphere of time.  Perhaps it has had a side effect of making time a bit more subjective than it usually is.  It could also be that time is not as fixed as we think it is, maybe by playing in it so much my own perception filters of time have been broadened allowing more configurations of how time fits in my life.  Maybe time like all other things is not a thing at all but a mode of consciousness, a lens of understanding.  If we refocus the lens what we see is different.

In this season of holiday tasks, celebrations, and sometimes obligations it might be pertinent to contemplate our perception of time.  Maybe we should rethink time.  What if time listens? What if time could be your friend and ally?  What would happen if you arrived before you departed how might that affect your understanding of the world?  What if we could approach time in a sense of focused wonder?   Think on it this week as we head into a turning point on the scale of seasonal time.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

The Long Game

Greetings all,

This first week of December has been exciting.  I have wonderful news in that a gallery has taken some of my artwork to sell.  I have had new clients.  I have also started writing my first book.  Add to that the  first snow storm of the season and it is has been a powerful week.

One of the things I've had to get used to is having good things happen.  I know that sounds strange, but for myself (as well as many others) it can be odd when things start to go right for us.  This is particularly so when the road has been long and full of twists and delays.  It takes some adjustment to take the good in stride.  Many spiritual and meditative tools are designed to help us accept setbacks and failures so it can be difficult to put the experience into context.  The thing is though we must learn to accept not only things that challenge us but also those that make life fun and enjoyable.

This is in part exacerbated by the way I plan or strategize.  I used to make lots of little plans almost all of which failed.  For a while I made no plans and drifted, taking advantage of whatever opportunities arose.  This of course was not very productive.  So I took a step back and started to focus not on the immanent future but the far future.  Making little choices here and there while still taking advantage of what opportunities drifted by.  I did my best to make do and be happy where I was.    From the outside it can look very passive and there is a sort of a relaxed approach.  I mean occasionally I would pursue something quite vigorously but mostly I'd slowly move in one direction.

I call this strategy the long game.  I first got a taste of it years ago when I was purging my space of accumulated papers and possessions.  (I was quite the packrat of notebooks and old assignments).  I came across a notebook from high school  and in it I had some of my goals and wishes listed from when I was first discovering creative visualization (a good beginner's guide is by Shakti Gawain).  As I read through it I realized that I had achieved almost every goal I had listed.  It took years but I got there.  For some people they get what they want very quickly, but back then I was operating under the belief that I couldn't get what I wanted.  Discovering that I had gotten what I had requested was a big turning point.  I had done it.  I had achieved my dreams, my timetable just was different than other people's and my own expectations.  Now I plan my goals a bit further out.  I plant the seeds and slowly tend them.  Occasionally I take drastic action but more often than not I just allow things to come to me in their own time.  I gently apply new skills gradually.  I work in my own slow rhythm and low and behold it works.   The effects of my efforts are cumulative and so the more I accomplish and do the more that lays the groundwork for what is next.  The long game spends a lot of time building the pathways for what you desire to come to you, but once you do, things just seem to happen (some would say as if by magic).

So why am I telling you this?  Well maybe you've been too hard on yourself.  Maybe you have felt like a failure, like you are getting nowhere.  Look back to where you were 10 years ago.  Do you remember what you wanted to accomplish?  Has any of it come to pass?  Are you closer to your heart's goals?  What if you slowed down and played the long game?  What if you did one small thing here and another down the line as you could?  What if you realized that wherever you are is the perfect place for you to live your life?  Maybe this is a pivot point and things will happen faster now, or maybe just some things.  We can look at the world or our life and be discouraged or we can look for those small signs of change.  Eventually they reach a threshold and our life seems to magically transform.  Try it out for a bit, I've got another move to make in my game.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Less is more

Greetings all,

The holiday season has begun for most of us here in North America.   I've liked Thanksgiving better than Christmas for a number of years.  It started when we began going to my grandmother's house to celebrate it.  I also didn't yet have to spend more than I could afford on presents.  Beyond that though it was about gathering together and expressing gratitude for all the blessings we've been given.  I always used to write a special entry into my journal on Thanksgiving listing all that I was grateful for.  More often than not it was for particular people in my life.

One thing I have realized is that in most respects I've had it pretty easy.  I've never gone hungry, or with out shelter, clothes, or medical care when I needed it.  For those of us who have never experienced profound need it can be easy to take that for granted.  There is a lot that goes into a holiday feast.  So many just inhale their food and barely taste or appreciate it.  I myself used to load up a bit more than I needed to on turkey and dressing.  I used to look forward to the next holiday and all the things I wanted.

A strange thing has happened.  It has been coming for a number of years.  There are fewer and fewer things I want for Christmas.  My family has for the past few weeks been needling me for gift ideas.  They want to get their shopping done.  This is not to say that there is nothing that I want at all.  (Perhaps the only thing I could really use is a new car but that's not generally in anyone's budget).  It  just isn't something you can purchase easily and wrap.  How do you wrap more success in business?  How do you give someone better relationships?  I've come to that point in my life that the things that I really desire can only be provided by myself.

It is I think a good place to be.  It started probably two years ago right after my first session in the advanced shamanic initiation program I just completed.  I was told to get rid of stuff, I had too many things.  I still kind of feel that way even though I gave away almost half of my stuff and about three quarters of my stone collection.  We are living in an interesting time when a whole library can be stored on a tiny flash drive, we can carry mp3 players full of all our music in our pockets.  In this time though a dinner with friends, a game night, and a craft night fill my soul more than any gift.  I was recently treated to dinner by a friend and  I felt so valued and cared for.  So I do like little gifts.  Gifts of your time, your assistance, and your kindness.

So what am I rambling on about?  Really that I've been very lucky to have my needs met.  This year I have forged stronger bonds with others and I have broken bonds that held me back.  I have seen myself clearly and not been horrified with what I found (most of the time).  I am grateful for all the people in my life and for the people who are no longer in my life.

How about you?  Are you grateful for what you already have?  What you've never lacked?  Do you crave more things?  Are you standing in line on holidays trying to buy love in a fancy box?  Is your love for sale?  Did you get a good price for it?  What would happen if you gave a little less stuff and a little more love?  What if you received fewer things and more of the people in your life?  Ponder that the next few weeks.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

P.S.  I did want to say I am grateful to all the people who read this blog and have told me how it has helped them bless you and may your heart find all it seeks in life.

Munay-ki and Me

Greetings all,

It's been quite a week, and it is not quite over yet.  This weekend I once more  put on my traveling hat and head to Victory of Light Psychic Fair in Cincinnati.  In the past seven days I've made a speedy recovery, passed the munay-ki rites to a group of new people, and been developing a new healing method.  This has been my year so far, no standing still.

This post though I am going to talk more about the munay-ki rites and their effect on my path.  (For more detailed information I will post a link to Alberto Villodo's site at the bottom of this blog).  I received them from one of my teachers in the summer of 2007.  That was a packed summer.  I had also just received my third reiki attunement. In this case it acted as a double whammy.

The munay-ki are fire rites that come down from the Incan tradition of shamanism.  They start you off on your medicine road.  For me the going was initially tough my shadow rose up from the depths and bit me in the face.  It scared the poop out of me.  Since that time it has never been far from consciousness.  I made a deal with it, loan me some of its power and I would do my best to work on its concerns.  The truce has held more or less with times of lesser and greater discomfort.  I still experience fear, but a lot of times I choose not to listen to it, not all of the time but a good deal of it.  I've learned it is perfectly okay to not be able to deal with something right this moment.  It is okay to be broken, just be aware of it and don't let it stop you.

At this point many people will be like, "But I wanted magical powers don't these rites do that?"  Hollywood has ruined us all with the idea of what magical powers or indeed power itself is.  I'm not bending spoons or starting fires with my mind post rites.  If that is what you are looking for well I can't help you.  What these rites have done for me is start the process of building deeper heart centered relationships with the spirits of the earth and waters.  For me it has been about making the world family, that could be the spirit of the land I live upon, the ocean mother, the mountains, the sun and moon, ancestors, or the medicine people of the past.  This journey has made me feel supported when I show up to do work.  Did it give me magical powers though?  Well yes and no.  I will give you an example of something simple a "parlor trick"  if you will.  In the past studying with ceremonial practitioners one of the ways they would train the will was to try and control the wind or a candle flame.  I will be the first to admit I sucked at this.  A few years back though I had a candle threatening to go out on my altar.  Well I simply addressed it and said, "Oh Nina please be happy." (Nina is the name for fire in this tradition).  The flame perked right up and gave no more trouble after that.  Now I would like to make something very clear I did not make the candle flame do anything.  I asked politely as you would ask a family member to pass the pepper at the dinner table.  The universe appreciates good manners.  You can get a lot more accomplished by learning to relate and being respectful.  People have sometimes been a bit aghast at some of the things that happen around me, but I am always quick to point out that I don't make them happen I simply ask.  I don't always get an affirmative response either, and I am okay with that.

So personal evolution has certainly occurred.  When I have felt the most powerful however was when I was performing service on behalf of someone else.  This is not to say I haven't personally benefited from the rites and the healing work that accompanies them because I have.  It is very different from the ego idea of power.  This power comes from the heart.  It comes from our connectedness and our bonds with spirit.  I have more friends, more teachers, and more experiences than before.  I think that beats any parlor trick or pyrokinesis.

What about you?  What power are you seeking?  Is it the ego's idea of power or ability?  Does it serve only you or does it serve everyone?  If you wish to serve seek more power,  If you don't perhaps be content with where you are.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

http://munay-ki.org

Emotions

Greetings all,

I hope you are doing well.  I've had a cold for the past week which is just now really starting to dissipate.  I was very disappointed because I had been doing so well this fall about not getting the seasonal sinus crap.  Last year I spent over a month (actually close to 2) being ill during the fall and winter.  I had a lot on my plate emotionally speaking.

Being empathic or sensitive has its drawbacks.  One of them is that my health mirrors my feelings quite a bit.  It is one of the reason some people view me as distant.  I really try not to get upset or be in the middle of upset (haha life kind of requires that).  When I am overwrought emotionally you'd be astounded how quickly I come down with something, sometimes within hours.  Of course that is usually after weeks of burning the candle at both ends.  I do tend to keep pushing myself and then get all frustrated when my body goes, "Hold up there partner I'm sitting this one out!"

This all stems from me trying to avoid confrontations with everybody.  Not a healthy habit I know, and one I am seeking to change.  I have to be pretty mad to call someone out.  This completely shocks people when it happens, they think they're dreaming or have strayed into the Twilight Zone.  I am downright cruel when I get that angry.  That silver tongue of mine has a sharp edge when it is pointed at someone.  Now usually someone has worked hard to get me that angry, so some might say they had it coming.  I would say that or part of me would.

The thing is you really can't make someone else responsible for your emotions…even if you are empathic.  Not unless you want to live life in a bubble or in constant victim mode.  See the thing is if someone has brought me to that point of fury odds are I haven't said anything to them.  I haven't just taken them aside and said, "Hey what you just did is not okay with me."  I could make excuses as to why this is.  I could say I did use to do that then I met an emotional tyrant who turned that against me.  It would be true and what is also true is that everyone else in my life is not that person.  (If however you are that person and you are reading this blog looking for a response here it is……ten years of silence was your response).

How does this apply to you?  All of us sometimes behave as if the person in front of us is someone from our past.  We live in our memories especially in our close relationships for those are the ones that have the most potential to hurt us.  It is hard to be vulnerable.  It is something I personally struggle with as I am sure many do.  I don't think there is any spirit or deity that would judge us for this paralysis of emotion.  I am able to do my work without mastering this.  I could happily go on with my healing practice helping people even if  I never progress into this level of vulnerability.  It isn't about anyone else.  Similarly whatever emotional or personal challenge you experience has no bearing on your "worthiness" it only affects the level of enjoyment you will take in life.  So maybe try to grow and change or not, either way know that it is only ever about you.  How do you feel?

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

The First Commandment

Greetings everybody,

Lately I have been posting on Facebook about the First Commandment.  This is not to be confused with the judeo-christian First Commandment. I think it was watching a few videos about Russell Brandt's new messiah tour that sparked the idea.  In this age of wireless connections how can we know how our digital footprint will affect those yet to come into the world.  I thought well if on the very off chance that I become a messianic figurehead to some new sect of religion after I die, I wanted to go on record firmly about what I considered the most important guideline to live one's life.

The First Commandment of Thomas Mooneagle also happens to be the only commandment.  It is quite simply summed up as, "Don't be a dick."  It really is that simple.   Everything else is just filler.  The feast of the Mooneagle where you bring out the eagle piñata filled with after dinner mints is just spectacle.  The plate spinning rite is a metaphor.  Any other ritual, ceremony, or bit of prayer is simply a way to distract the mind long enough to let you receive this great truth.  The world doesn't need more teachings.  It needs fewer people being cruel to one another.

If I take this ego trip for the full ride and I think I should, it will become apparent that even this simple truth will most likely be obscured in time.  Scholars would argue about the literal meanings of "being a dick".  Perhaps extreme feminists will take it to mean that men are inferior to women and must be firmly controlled and silenced.  Others will perhaps advise self mutilation of the offending male genitalia.  Even the enlightened few who know that the "being a dick" refers to behavior will quibble over what constitutes "dickishness".   Will dietary restrictions and clothing proscriptions be issued?

This is why I struggle with organized religions.  So sure of themselves and their scriptures, trying to define and categorize the infinite using the finite.  I am not suggesting that we abolish religion. I do think it is merely a starting point in our exploration into the infinity of consciousness.  I have never heard of a deity described in a way that would do infinity justice.  Spiritual community is important, but when it becomes too insular it becomes more extreme and judgmental.  People begin to selectively apply their beliefs to fit their egoic needs.  As we know the ego needs to feel special and likes to compare itself to others (well I do anyways).  One of the easiest ways to do this is to make others less worthy than yourself according to your belief structure.  In Anne Lamott's book Bird by Bird she wrote one of my favorite quotes of all time,  "You can safely assume you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.” 

So what does this ego trip of mine into my possible rebirth as a messianic figure have to do with you?  Are you taking something too literally?  Are you following the form and losing the spirit?  Are you making things more complicated than they need to be?  Are you being a dick to someone?  Are you being clear with your words?  In a recent visit to a future potentiality my descendants shared with me a secret, "Be careful what you say for your words are with us still."  Given the nature of the internet they may have a point.  Ponder these questions and contemplate the possibility of yourself as a holy figure.  What message would you leave behind?

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Day of the Grateful Dead

Greetings all,

I am sorry to be late again.  I am really trying to not make this a habit, but events as you will see sometimes mess with our plans.  So this weekend was one of my teacher's Day of the Dead celebration.  It was a glorious festivity.  I brought a carload of friends to the party.  I was snagged the moment I walked in the door by my teacher to decorate a sugar skull.

There are a few things about the Mooneagle you should know.  If you give me colors and something to decorate I bliss out.  I love making things!  I love spending time with friends.  I love good food (it was a potluck and there was deer chili yum!!!).  I also love ceremony and we did that up right too.  We did despacho ceremony to honor our ancestors and ask for their blessings.  Despacho is completely different from gazpacho, the former means gift, the latter is a cold soup. (I suppose you could cook gazpacho but like revenge it is a dish best served cold).

Each of us added to the despacho, both items and prayers.  When they are assembled they are very colorful with flowers, candies, chocolates, ribbons, wine, and sugar.  You can get very creative with them.  So yes they are a blast for someone like me.  They are also very sacred when done with respect (which does not exclude laughter around the table).  Any chance I have to participate or create one I jump at.  I love working with the spirits and making them presents.

So the bonfire accepted our despacho package.  We sang, we beat our drums, rattled our rattles, didjed our didjeridus.  The night wore on and we went to work painting our skulls (again more colors more bliss).  Everyone was having a blast.  Then life decided to step in and one of my dear friends took a false step off the ramp on the porch and fell down…hard…very hard…so hard I was terrified she might have broken her neck.  The party was definitely over.

Funny thing about this was earlier that day I had put a new battery in my car.  It had been giving me warning signs that it was on the way out.  I am grateful, usually it is a complete surprise when the battery goes dead with this car.  I also put a full tank of gas in the car.   Well my friend had a compound  fracture and needed to goto the hospital and ended up having to have an operation.  The hitch was they lived in a town about two hours away.  So one of the friends I gave a lift to offered to help me get the car back to her house so her husband could drive it up later.  We drove most of the night.

I wondered today after I finally slept about the ceremony and the ancestors.  Where were they when this happened?  Well now that I look at the situation I can clearly see their hands all over it.  No they didn't push my friend off the porch, but they did guide her fall so that she didn't break her neck or back.    I had several warnings that I needed my battery replaced and hadn't been stranded in the process.  I had just enough people riding with me to be able to bring my friend's car back to her husband.  Spirit kept me safe and alert on my midnight drive, and we made it down to her place in fairly record time without speeding.  It was rather unbelievable.  We even managed to sing a bit to keep our morale up.

So what in the world does my day of the dead escapade have to do with you?  Well is there any situation in your life that isn't ideal but perhaps is getting you ready to deal with something else in a way to mitigate disaster?  Are the spirits softening the blows just enough so you can get what you need done?  Are you recognizing you are protected even in the midst of calamities?  I for one am grateful for the dead.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

The Way Through the Fire

Greetings all,

Late again Mooneagle is what some of you may be thinking.  Well better late than not at all.  Please bear with me though I've had an eventful week.  So much crammed into one space in time I can hardly believe it.  I'm wiped out today, but I have my commitment to you and so I am writing as best I can.

The week began with glazing my pots for the kiln.  This continued for a few days.  My sprayer seems to be broken.  Once more I have hit a roadblock with firing.  It is the process which turns the impermanent clay into long lasting stone (providing you don't drop it).  This last phase of translation from idea to fully formed reality has always been a challenge.  Chemicals and clay interact within the heat and fire forming the surfaces and colors that will seal the form into coherence.  The fire changes the form and look of a glaze.  The color of the glaze doesn't match the color in the mixing bucket.  The red looking glaze turns yellow in the fire, the brown turns blue, and okay the green stays green but it is a different green than you see going on the pot.

I was in a frenzy to get this done before the weekend.  I was on the road once more this time to Bardstown for the final weekend retreat of the shamanic 2 year program.  This has been my journey through the fire.  The heat of the spirits'  kiln transformed the structure of my life.  My relationships melted, fused, cracked.  My concepts of myself and my fears (yes my dears I do have them still) shifted.    It was sometimes smooth and other times a storm of emotions.  So I have come through the fire and here I am transformed, more coherent,  full of color.

As I unloaded the kiln this afternoon (I did that before I unpacked) I noticed that the lids on some of my jars were stuck.  I wasn't worried.  My first teacher showed us how to take something heavy and lightly tap the surface of a jar listening to the vibrations.  They change tones right before the lid pops off.  It looks like a magic trick when you do it and who is to say it isn't one.  So I sat down and tapped my jars, lightly striking them,  shifting the vibrations of the vessel until the lid freed itself.   I got to thinking that is what these initiations did.  They struck me lightly (it doesn't feel light but spirit knows how hard to hit to change the vibration)  to get the vessel of my spirit "unstuck".  The vibration must change before something is freed from within.  Sometimes it is jarring to the self, okay most times it is jarring  (haha pun jars, jarring).  However it is the only way to become unstuck, to open.  I've seen people in their impatience strike a vessel too hard or too soon, and it shatters.  Spirit knows what we need to grow and free ourselves.

So my dear readers how about you?  What is shaking you?  Is it shaking you up or shaking you loose?  I can tell you I had my heart broken during this time of initiations, and I can also tell you it has come together more whole than it was before.  So before you label something as a setback, tragedy, or loss (and it may be all these things) remember to ask what is being freed in you?  What has passed through the fire?  What remains, and what is yet to become?

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Prosperity or Abundance?

Greetings all,

As I sit typing out this blog post a steady rain is falling outside the picture window in the house where I am staying this week.  The leaves are in the middle of their turning here and the next cross quarter day is coming up in two weeks.  I've been pondering the seasons and the nature of the cycles, how it affects my energies as well as humanity as a whole.

I've done a lot of work on abundance over the past few years.  I've seen good results, but that ease still sometimes eludes me.  I got to thinking about prosperity because we say a lot about manifesting abundance.  What I learned when I did all the work to prepare for my abundance download was that abundance was inside of  us already.  It was written into our very genes and the genes of all biological organisms.  Nature is abundant.  The thing about nature is not all the fruits are ripening at the same time.  It is the same with opportunities, not all chances are present at every moment.  Sometimes it really is a "if you call now" moment (to borrow a phrase from infomercials).

So I started thinking about prosperity more.  I may not have it right, but it is a theory I am working on.  Abundance is present in the universe by default.  Lack is something man made (at least that is what my guides tell me).  I began theorizing that prosperity is how we manage the abundance of life.  Think about it if you have a huge crop but don't harvest, it will rot in the fields.  If you have weeks to complete a project but don't start till a few days before the deadline and fail to complete it, then it wasn't the lack of time it was how you managed it.

For myself it has been about how I manage my time and talents as well as where I put my efforts in letting people know what I do.  As I have become more consistent and focused I have been rewarded with more.  It's almost as if the Universe has a safety mechanism built in.  It sees I am handling what I have already and then adds more to the mix.  I have to take what I do seriously or no one else will (not too seriously of course because I wouldn't be the Mooneagle if I was too serious).  Using the tools I have adeptly makes that abundance multiply and that is when I prosper.  To simplify, abundance is the energy and prosperity is how I use it.  If I manage to use it wisely then it feeds back on itself keeping the system running with excess energy.

Again I am not sure this is the "truth" if such a thing even exists, but it is an interesting idea to ponder.  It is like the Temperance card in tarot.  I often interpret that card as having all the ingredients you need to create a solution or overcome a challenge.  The raw materials and opportunities exist around us.  The first step is waking up to the fact of abundance the next step where so many of us struggle is learning to use what is in ourselves to channel that abundance.

So how can you apply this?  Good question I am so glad you asked.  Look around you.  What are your resources?  What are your talents?  (Don't say you have none that is hogs wash).  What knowledge do you possess?  How can you apply what you have and know to change?  What if you knew you had all the tools and materials you needed to build a new life?  How would that change your approach?  Do leave comments and feedback as this theory is still a work in progress.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

On Delay

Delay on,

Hello everybody it seems this week has had the universe teaching me patience and trust.  At least that was the lesson plan.  I'm pretty sure I bombed the pop quiz.  I got upset and went into fear and those dark places in my head.  There are some pretty chancy neighborhoods found behind my eyes.

It started with my youtube channel finally approved to receive ad revenue (thank you loyal viewers).  Within twelve hours of that I had 2 or more copyright notifications sent to me about some background music (white noise to drown out household sounds).  After a few hours of sheer panic that I might lose my channel I ended up taking down a handful of videos (some proactively and now it turns out unnecessarily)  that set me back about 14,000 views so now it will be a few months to be back where I was in the view ratings.  I had clients delay sessions or cancel for rescheduling.  (Guys if  you haven't heard back from me yet I haven't forgotten I am on the road).  Then of course there was yesterday's 3 hour trip to ULE which turned into a 6 hour slog with detour after detour.

I'd like to say through my delays I've kept a level head, breathed deeply, and trusted the universe's time table.  I'd like to say that but I have been on an emotional roller coaster the past week.  I was very snippy with people yesterday while trapped on the interstate.  (It might have something to do with the fact that I needed to goto the bathroom and I also hadn't had any lunch).  What was really highlighted for me was how poorly I reacted when things didn't go the way I wanted or had planned them.  I mean I was such a little brat.  Then I was annoyed at myself for acting that way which made it worse.

Looking back there are a few silver linings which I was hard pressed to realize in the heat of the moment.  With my videos I now have the opportunity to record new ones on some of the old subject matter.  I've grown a lot in the 4 years since I jumped on the youtube band wagon.  So there will be new and improved videos about playing with time and entropy.  Good news for you, but still kind of a bummer for the lost views for myself.  The clients that needed a reschedule gave me extra time I needed to prepare for my trip and a bit of breathing space.  My detours and delays on the road may have actually saved my life.  I started an hour later than I intended and the road ahead had been closed due to a very serious accident.  For all I know,  if all had gone as I had planned I could have been a roadside casualty.

So what about you?  How does this apply to you?  Have you been experiencing delays or obstacles in your path?  Have you moved with it or have you resisted?  Have you just relaxed into trust in the moment allowing things to unfold?  If you haven't been the most accepting of what is don't worry just notice and see what other options the universe is dangling in front of you.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Identity

Greetings all,

This week has been all about emotion it seems.  I've been busy in the studio and planning for the month of October.  I have two trips scheduled, some teaching, and in person session opportunities in Ohio. Every so many months I check in on some of the metaphysical message boards to see if there are any topic threads I find intriguing or if there is someone looking for some information I may have come across in my development.  I found one post by a skeptic that really got me thinking.  A lot of people tended to tell them that they were approaching consciousness technologies improperly (they meant well I am sure).  I am pretty sure now that the original poster never saw my response which is unfortunate.  I think I may have been one of the only people to suggest they get medical care from a licensed provider.     Still in my response to their post that all this stuff was new age bull, I came to a personal realization that may help not only myself but all my clients to deepen their experience.

The person was dealing with severe depression and while I think psychiatric care is essential in such cases I also know how much perspective can affect treatment outcomes.  I sensed that this person had their identity tangled up with their diagnosis.  In such a case how could any treatment shift them out of their condition?  How do you shift into  "not you"?  If you and your condition are entangled at such a deep level that you consider it part of your identity I don't see how you could become anything other than that condition.  Before dealing with any condition it would be wise to determine to what degree it is used in defining someone's identity.  This will vary of course depending on temperament, attitudes, social feedback, paradigm, and just how much they trust authority figures (such as health care providers in this instance) to dictate reality.

I began to see how many times I defined myself by a condition or limitation.  Rather than experiencing a condition I become it.  Now I am not suggesting we ignore serious physical or psychological conditions what I am suggesting is that we stop identifying ourselves by them.  I have started working on my own self using energetic shifting techniques to first disentangle my identity from specific conditions or limitations.  I've also started testing it out on a few close friends (oh you brave few beta testers).  So far we have all experienced a more expanded feeling.  Still identity is nothing if not a habit.  I suspect it will take a sustained effort over a period of time to disengage our identity from our conditions.

How about you?  Do you define yourself by a medical problem, relationship challenge, or psychological condition?  What would happen if you defined your identity by your passions, your strengths, and your aspirations?  Who would you be without your "issues"?  Are any of them serving a less developed part of yourself?  So if you are not your conditions, issues, or challenges who are you?  Let me know when you find out.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Certainty vs. Integrity

Greetings all,

The equinox has passed.  The days grow shorter as we move into autumn.  My drumming ceremony this past Sunday was wonderful.    I seem to have in the past year or so established a pattern of drumming alone on the equinoxes and in groups on the solstices.  I suppose that make sense in a way a solstice is the height of the light or the dark.  It is good to share those moments.  The equinoxes are about balance and ultimately no one else can balance us except ourselves.  I assess at the balance points of the year and celebrate on the terminal points.  That said the blessings that came out of the ceremony were palpable.  It literally woke a recipient 6 time zones away.

Okay now that I am done blowing my own horn.  (Or in this case beating my own drum.)  It is time to get topical.  One of the challenges of working in this field is conveying the value of my work to others. This goes for both the energy shifting and readings.  So much of what I do rests on the principles of uncertainty.  Become too certain or focused and you limit the field of possibilities.  I've seen other psychics claim over a 90% accuracy rating.  First off how in the world did they measure that?  I can barely remember what I said in a typical session beyond some of the highlights (and sometimes not even that).  Seriously what sort of records are you keeping on your clients?  I've also known some readers to "exaggerate" just a wee bit.   Generally I am trying not so much to be 100% accurate (as if that were possible) as to be helpful.  The map is not the landscape.  One of the best readings I ever gave was one that didn't come to pass because the client changed their path.

When it comes to my clearing and shifting work the uncertainty is the name of the game.  I am usually dealing in multiple parallel universes, ancestral patterns, and energetic structures.  Something will change I am just not exactly sure what that will be.  So when people ask me will a session help me ____ my response is that it very well could.  It could also address something far more pervasive in your pattern which may or may not affect what you came to see me about.  It is generally as useful though and it is what needed to happen rather than what you were focused on.  Still people want me to portray absolute confidence before moving into their field.  I really couldn't say until I am in the space of the work what is going on.  With clients who are in my year program I can't even tell where we'll be from session to session.  I could have a session that is completely shamanic in nature or I could be drawing mostly on some of the work I learned from matrix energetics,  Reiki, or my own personal modality (yes there is one in the works).

So what to do in a world dominated my marketing?  Rather than portray a false sense of certainty I do my best to stay in integrity.  It certainly isn't as flashy as most of the email campaigns and programs you see advertised on the web:  "Thirty days to a whole new level of prosperity!  Become your ideal body type after listening to these audio files for 8 weeks!  Manifest your perfect mate!"  So I do my best to be upfront  and honest with people.  I don't know what will happen in a session with me.  Something will shift, something will be revealed, but what I am not sure.  How could I be sure before you bring in your energies to the session?  I often give clients homework so part of the session rests on their willingness to follow through.  (I find it fair since my guides give me homework all the time).

So what about you?  Do you put on a false face to give the people a show of what they want?  Do you know when you are promising the moon?  Are you okay with giving people what they need rather than what they say they want?  Do you know the difference?  Do you know what you need or even what you want?  How high is your integrity?  We are all many things to many people for we are all many things within ourselves.  It is good to know how in alignment with our projections we are.  Contemplate that and maybe examine the promises that are made to you by others.  Which would you prefer certainty or integrity?

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Momentum

Greetings all,

The summer flew by and the fall equinox is coming this weekend.  I can hardly believe it.  The rate of change in my life seems to be increasing.  I'm very grateful that my social life has begun to pick up and simultaneously so has my business (coincidence I think not).  This whole year has been full of surprises and expansions along with some heartache thrown in to jumpstart me in new directions.

One of the big things I have been focusing on has been consistency.  Whether it was in keeping to a schedule, a practice, or intent.  I have had a year of inspiration in my artwork.  This I attribute to making the commitment to get together with my fellow artists and work together once a month.  I have seen my energies shift and strengthen, and I attribute this to regular ceremony and energetic practices.  My body has experienced more ease as I have become more consistent with both my tai chi and meditative chi kung practice.

I've heard inspiration is a fickle thing.  However I've found that if I strike while the vision is strong with me I can add to the momentum.  If I feel dried up on the inspiration front I can always work on something I sketched out earlier when the muse was flinging out ideas.  Often times when I start working new ideas come to me, but I at least get to execute what I had envisioned and give it life.  Skill comes with consistent practice.  Inspiration follows those that follow through.

2013 has been the year of establishing good routines and structures for me.  It may have something to do with Saturn moving through Scorpio (my moon sign).  I have found that the more I stick with something the better my overall energy becomes.  Several months ago I began a weekly prayer rattling ceremony to build energy and raise blessings.  It really does help me to bring in sacred power and bless those around me.  It helps me to continually sanctify the space in my office along with the smudging.  I smudge every time I come into the office.  All this builds up energy and pattern.  So much so that last week when I forgot to rattle, the energy literally tapped me on the shoulder and cleared its throat.  (So not to worry blessing recipients the ceremony was performed).

The last few weeks I have added a new energetic routine to strengthen and build my energy field in my heart.  I do this everyday sometimes for just a few minutes before sleep, but it is making a difference.  Some days I practice much longer, but the point is I practice everyday.  Since I began that practice my business picked up, I've been more productive in my art work,  and I just feel more coherent and satisfied.

So you may think well that's great Mr. Mooneagle but I don't have time for all that nonsense.  I work a normal job (or if you're here in America more likely 2 or 3).  The good news is that most things don't have to take up a lot of time.  Five minutes here, ten minutes there practiced consistently over time will yield a much stronger result than sporadically practicing something an hour or so at a time.  Using the in between times to practice something as simple as deep breathing with intent is enough to bring about a change in your awareness.  The key is momentum, and you get that by sticking with something over the long haul.  If you miss a day start again the next day.  It really is about the long term.

How about you?  Is there something you can do to change that is short and simple?  Are there affirmations or contemplations you could stick to your mirror and take a moment with when you start and end your day?  Do you have time on your commute, lunch break, or in your winding down time at night to spend  five minutes in prayer or meditation?  Do you have ten minutes to spare for some chi kung or yoga?  Can you take a short walk? What if you just took a few minutes everyday to focus on something uplifting and beam gratitude out to the world?  It doesn't have to be long.  It doesn't have to be complicated.  It just has to be something you do to anchor your intent to grow and change everyday.  Try something out for a few weeks, don't get overly ambitious just set aside five to ten minutes a day.  Turn off the computer (after you finish reading my blog of course).  Put the phone on silent, turn off the television and relax.  You'll be glad you did.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

p.s.  Leave a comment below to sound off on what practice you are taking up.

A Look in the Mirror

Greetings all,

I hope this week finds you well.  This week I've noticed a lot of old habits creeping back in.  I've been doing relatively well with keeping to a schedule until this past week.  Although rather than berate myself perhaps it is simply a chance to look deeper into the mirror to see what is there.

A year ago I was attending the second meeting of the shamanic 2 year program I am enrolled in.  We paired up with partners and each of us had to journey for the other to see what to do to get ready for the next session.  I remember my partner was nervous before they told me my assignment because their guide had said I wouldn't like it.  Then she told me what it was, and I said, "They're right I don't like it one bit."  I still did the assignment which was to look at myself in the mirror for fifteen minutes right into my eyes.  No distractions, no music, just breathe and gaze.  Try it sometime, if you've never done it you may find it challenging to do for fifteen minutes.

Now I find myself finding reflections of myself everywhere.  (A wee bit narcissistic, for all I know I could be the reflection).  I was at a meditation this week hosted by a friend and we were opposites in dress.  I wore a white shirt and black shorts, they wore a black shirt and white shorts.  I've been seeing this white and black or yin and yang if you prefer everywhere lately.  The world it seems is one great mirror and that holds promise and peril.

Duality is the chessboard on which the game of life seems to be played.  People identify with one pole or the other.  "I am this, not that."  Some people identify by what they are against.  You see this a lot at election time when people say they vote for the lesser of the 2 evils.  They might not like their candidate, but at least it isn't candidate X.  (Political affiliations have been removed to reduce trolling, remember kiddos don't feed the trolls).  The world can seem that way, polarized and volatile.  As children we are socialized with that very basic structure something is either right or wrong.  Even in later life when we intellectually know there is more to a situation than the hero/villain lens we still use it.  We're conditioned to use it by our media culture.  It stops us from thinking too much.

A lot of change is stymied because of the duality mindset.  One thing people in power don't want is for others to be thinking rationally about issues.  If they do then those issues can't be used to divide and control them.  When we can't see ourselves in others we conversely end up seeing more of ourselves projected out in the world, particularly the parts we don't like about ourselves.  There is that peril I was talking about. The world will mirror back to us what we are again and again.  If we don't accept it and address it those reflections can become sharper like the shards of a broken mirror.

Some of you will be thinking well that just lets people off the hook for their behavior.  It doesn't really.  I don't reward unsociable or cruel behavior.  I also can't not see myself in that light.  I have seen the face of evil, and it is my own.  One train of thought that helps though is if you accept the idea of parallel universes.  In some cosmological theories for every choice that is made the universe splits off into parallel universes exploring every option.  So in some universes I am a psychotic killer who eats babies.   (I knew I should have turned left at universe 15664).  If you aren't sold on the idea of parallel universes what about reincarnation?  If you think you never played the villain you haven't been a student of history.   I played that role and being an overachiever I perfected it.  I mean I was downright malevolent, I would have fit in with any Disney villain.

So what does it all mean?  A lot of consciousness work focuses on coming into neutrality about things. From there a truly free choice can be made.  The surface of the mirror is where the power is.  It bridges the reflections.  Where is the mirror in your world, your consciousness?  Where does that reflection pop up for you?  Who brings the old patterns to the surface to stare back at you?  What about the promise I spoke of, well if everything is reflecting you back, then it puts you in charge.   If you accept your reflections and work within yourself then what is reflected back also changes.  An old magical theory states if you change yourself you change the world.  So what will you see when you chant Mirror mirror on the wall?   Will you choose promise or peril?

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Romance and Mystery

Greetings all,

When I told one of my teachers what the name of this blog post was going to be they asked me if I had fallen in love.  I have not, at least not in the traditional sense of the phrase.  I have been feeling a deep call in my heart these past few months.  Although if I am honest it really started last fall when I was on the road.  The call of magic and mystery was upon me.  Since then it has only increased the longing in my heart to experience even deeper more profound mysteries.

In some indigenous American cultures the Creator is referred to as the Great Spirt or Great Mystery.  While I am not myself a member of any Native American tribe I've always liked that idea.  It has a great resonance for me.  As children so many things are mysteries or magical.  Our walk through the world inspires wonder and delight.  (For those of you who didn't have that experience it is never too late to have a happy childhood).  What I love about referring to the Divine as a Mystery is that it leaves a lot open.  It covers both the personal aspect of a being that wishes to love us, and also all the wonders that we don't quite understand.  It invites us into a sense of the sublime,  that uncharted nature of the feeling of mystery where we know something is going on, but we aren't sure quite what, is so important in taking us beyond the fields that we know into a larger and if we so choose more magical world.

As I have been connecting with people in the past year I have realized I am not alone in this yearning.  Many people are feeling the call.  They want to taste magic.  They want to touch it, feel it and see it.  What I have also noticed is that many people are not wanting to put the work into it.  They want Mystery on Demand. I've ranted before about the perils of wanting something quick and easy when it relates to spirits and magic so I won't repeat that now. What I will say is why would Mystery want to experience you?

This is not a judgment by the way.  I am saying one of the effects of experiencing Mystery is a profound change in the self.  If you're  not willing to change why would Mystery visit?  You are sending off a signal of "That's alright I don't need you, but could you do a few parlor tricks for me this evening."  I have been thinking of it like having a romance.  If you were trying to attract or keep a desirable partner you'd take care of yourself wouldn't you. You'd watch your hygiene, your manners,  and handle your personal affairs in a way to minimize drama.  You wouldn't just hang out on the couch watching TV eating garbage and expect to date the man or woman of your dreams.  (People that are easily offended should be aware this is a metaphor and has nothing to do with perceived standards of physical attractiveness).  You'd expect to put some effort into courting that certain someone.  You may join a gym, learn a new skill or take up a new hobby.  You might be really brave and learn to dance.   So why wouldn't you put the same level of effort into experiencing Mystery.

One of the great realizations in the past year or two for myself was that if I wanted the kind of life I dreamed of, I would have to change to be the type of person who could handle that life.  I would have to have the level of energy to maintain that life, and have the emotional/mental flexibility needed to manage it.  It is natural for us to want more of that elusive wonder.  It takes some effort like any worthwhile relationship.

So what about you?  Have you been longing for more magic, mystery or meaning in your life?  Have you been trying to romance the Mystery into spending time with you, or have you been more interested in the latest gossip?  Do you make time to meditate to improve your mental/emotional hygiene so that you look all sparkly to Mystery?  Are you more interested in getting even, than moving on?  Have you been demanding miracles, while simultaneously not making space in your paradigm for them?  Romancing the Mystery is a full time job, but in my opinion it is the best damn job to have.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

I don't care and that's pretty awesome

Greetings everyone,

I have great news!  I got one of the worst comments I have ever received on my youtube channel a little over a week ago.   Confused?    Why is that great news?  Well on its own it isn't great news, but my response to it was.  I simply didn't care.  Let me allow that to sink in for a minute.....I didn't care.

I didn't take the insult personally.  I didn't believe it for a second.  (I did critique the spelling and grammar though).  The negative slur had the opposite of its intended effect.  I was happy.  I was relieved that I didn't take in any of the energy of the comment.  I was actually grateful to have been insulted plus it meant I got to watch one of my favorite videos called "Thank you hater" by Cleverpie.

Some of you won't get what a big deal this is for me.  If you have been reading my blog at all you'll have heard me reference or let's face it complain about being empathic.  While it is a useful skill it can make you hyper sensitive to criticism.  When someone tells you, "Who cares what they think or feel about you."  Well if you're highly empathic you care, it is hard not to since you pick up that person's feelings.  So to not care what someone thought of me, nor entertain their feelings for a second is huge.  I take it as a sign that I must be growing.  When I first started making videos and posting them  I was always quite nervous about what people would think of them and of me.  I tell people it was an act of self acceptance to record myself at all let alone post it for the world to see.

This past month has been one of expansion and rediscovering personal power.  I don't think it is just me either.  I've sensed opportunities for many of us to break out of our self imposed limitations.  Magic has been calling to me for half the summer.  The longing for ceremony and ritual has been constant.  You may be thinking. "What don't you have enough magic in your life?  I mean you're freaking Thomas Mooneagle!"  It's true I do tread in the mysteries.  However it is easy to forget what you can do for yourself while you are doing for others.  It is good to stretch and reinvigorate your own empowerment.

So my darlings what about you?  Is there some negative that you can turn around and realize how little it affects you?  Is there something someone did to push your buttons that you transcended?  Can you be thankful to the little shit for the opportunity to realize you're bigger than that?  (Yes while you may be over them they are still a little shit).  What power and practices do you feel inspired to take up again?  What seemingly small thing is a sign of a big change deep below the surface?  Ponder on it for a while and let me know.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

The Biggest Lie

Greetings all,

A few years back I began taking classes about the medicine wheel in the Andean tradition of shamanism.  In that tradition we start always in the south.  That is the place of the Sashamama, the mother serpent (or anaconda mama in street slang) she teaches us to shed our past.  A lot of the medicine of the south is about letting go of old ideas and transmuting old wounds.  One of our assignments was to uncover the biggest lie we ever told ourselves.  That was the wound to be transmuted.

Now I've gone round the medicine wheel a few times and I continue to uncover old ideas that need to be shed to make peace with my past and move into my future.  Recently in my musings I discovered one I had been harboring for decades.  The lie goes something like this,  "I am not strong."  This originated from my childhood most likely because I was the youngest of several siblings.  I was kind of small and I was never very good at sports.  However the theme of not being strong evolved beyond the physical into the realms of mental and emotional reserves.   It influenced my beliefs about how effective I could be in making decisions, being successful, and coping with the challenges of life.

Some people would agree that I am not strong.  The funny thing is some of my biggest conflicts have been with people who have been afraid of my capabilities.  They tended to try and play upon my lack of confidence in my own strength.  Much of this I didn't realize until later.  I've repeatedly rubbed a few people the wrong way energetically, and yet still deep down is this lie that I am not strong.  In part this is due to societal views on what strength is, particularly for men.  I don't heft huge weights, nor am I the one you think of when moving heavy furniture or appliances.  Ironically I work in clay which happens to be a very physically demanding medium.  I also own my own business and run a fairly successful Youtube channel.  So what is the deal about not being strong?

Let's try an experiment.  Think of someone who epitomizes strength.  Don't try to be politically correct or deep just pick the first person that comes to mind when you think strong.  So who was it?  Was it a man or a woman?  What are the attributes of that person?  Whomever sprang to mind for you will tell you a lot about your concept of power.

So what about you?  Do you think you're not strong?  Is that your biggest lie that you've told yourself?  Is your lie about not being beautiful, talented, or worthy?  Whatever your biggest lie is you most likely have story around why it has to be true.  Beware of telling that story every time you do you make it harder to realize the lie.  How do you expunge the lie and begin to see the truth about yourself?  You begin by recognizing the lie that's been running/ruining your life.  Maybe you haven't ever consciously given it much thought, maybe it has just been a subconscious mirroring of cultural views.  Start looking into how you define your core concepts of the ideals you value: power, beauty, talent, worthiness.  Are these your definitions or are they somebody else's you just adopted?  Whenever you shame yourself or speak negatively about yourself ask yourself simply, "Is this really true?"  You'd be surprised how often  the answer is no.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Just Friends

Greetings all,

I've been thinking this past week about how we think of friendships.  Our culture has celebrated family and romantic relationships for a long time as the formulaic answer to happiness.  I can't tell you how many times I've heard the phrase "we're just friends".  Yes it is meant to distinguish between a romantic attachment rather than as a pejorative, but the qualifier "just" implies a lesser status.

Growing up I didn't have many friends.  I actually didn't end up with any longterm friends until I got to high school.  In my twenties I had intense friendships some which lasted and some that didn't.  Having been a loner for most of my life I highly value friendship.  It was in the past few years that I noticed that not everyone holds it in the same high honor.  There is nothing like loneliness to make you appreciate good people except being around the wrong sort of people (which is its own sort of loneliness).  I've had friendships end dramatically, and sometimes through fading and distance.  Other friends I won't see for years and yet we still hold each other in our hearts.  I've had friendships that have saved my life, others that have crushed my heart,   Friendships have been my richest, deepest, and most enduring relationships.  As such I am always up for making new friends.  Every friend is its own adventure.  So what's the deal with the "just" friends.

We live in a highly mobile culture.  Families and individuals move around more than they did in generations past.  It is rare for us to have a friend we've known since childhood.  In some ways that explains why friendship hasn't gotten the respect it deserves.  Neighborhoods have people coming and going every year, so getting to know people often takes more time than most of us have available.  We have Facebook friends, and online forum friends, and sometimes we have never met.  (Not to imply that you can't have meaningful online friends, but social support sometimes needs hugs).  As we get older and start to get into romantic partnerships our friendships can dwindle particularly if our partners don't like the same sort of people we do.  I've seen the scenario where a couple gets together and one of them will actively separate their partner them from their friends.  I've seen where people after entering into a romantic relationship will simply forget they have friends unless that romance ends.

So where am I going with all this?  Am I just ranting and complaining?  I'll admit I am ranting just a bit.  I just wonder if we've forgotten about the sheer joys of companionship.  Having older relatives who have lived quite a long time it has struck me how important it is to keep friends and to keep making friends.  We know ourselves through our relationships with others.  In our families we often play a role that is very hard to change; we get to stretch our identities with friends.  Friends are our traveling companions and you always want good companions for the road whether it be rough or easy going.  What about you?  Do you have your traveling companions?  Do you value them and do they value you?  Are you keeping the door open for new comers to your merry band?  Do you make the time to connect with others?  Has modern culture watered down your concept of friendship?  What does it mean to you?

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

The Chase

They say the thrill is in the chase.  There is certainly an adrenaline rush when pursuing a goal.  When you push through your limitations the feeling of exhilaration can be almost addictive, but when the goal is a person or a relationship that feeling tends to fall flat.  Sometimes in our pursuit of companionship we forget ourselves.

What am I getting at you may ask.  Well one trait I express is that I  put a lot of energy in maintaining connection and communication with friends and potential friends.  I tend to be the social hub for several different communities of people.  I mean here I am posting every week trying to connect with a readership.  It is easy for me to sometimes forget that connections are not something to chase after.

Yes you heard me right.  You shouldn't have to chase people.  If you think chasing someone is romantic then you've been seduced by pop culture.  This goes for friendships too.  If someone is placing a lot of obstacles and tests in your path to see if you are "worthy" to know then I have another secret to impart...they're not worth knowing.  If you have to go out of your way to get someone to like you and see what you have to bring to the table, then they're also probably not a keeper for your social support network.  There are also those you and I both know that seem to like you, but are chronically busy.  I mean all the time, so much so that you have to constantly initiate contact just to make sure you still have their correct number or email address.  Again think hard what are you getting out of this?

So now you may be wondering if you stop putting so much effort into connecting with others what will happen.  Will you turn into a hermit?  Will you be forgotten?  Well I am not suggesting you stop reaching out to people, but rather make sure that the people you are reaching out to are meeting you halfway.  It always comes down to balance.  In my line of work I have to reach out for business purposes.  I have to network and make new contacts, get students registered for classes, and get people interested in what I do.  In my personal life however I am beginning to adopt a philosophy of relaxed communication.

Why do we chase people?  Well most likely it is insecurity.  We feel if we don't put on a show and do the footwork we might just end up alone and unloved.  It's that basic underlying pattern of "I'm not worthy and nobody will like me so I best try really hard." Ah lovely self doubt how you make us pine for those unworthy of our attention. This is really all about yourself, I mean the chase is ultimately about a need to control how much others value you.  There is a famous line from the "Wizard of Oz"  (the movie I can't remember if it is in the book),  "The heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others."  That's an awful message really.  That sort of thinking will make you miserable.

So does any of this apply to you?  I wouldn't know, I haven't been stalking you.  (Okay maybe just that one time).  Seriously though do you spend your time in your personal life trying to convince people you're worth their time .  Do you have people in your life that make you feel like a phone stalker.  Do you think if you stopped initiating contact, or going out of your way for someone then you wouldn't see or hear from them?  I suggest you try an experiment, just stop.   Allow others to approach you.  Try it out for a week.  Now this is not a "test" of anyone's loyalty this is to see how much energy you put into maintaining contact.    What would happen if you just accepted the fact that you are valuable and worthy all by yourself?  You might be surprised about the quality of company when you resonate with that.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Ascension and Embodiment

The past few years we've heard a lot about ascension in the metaphysical circuit.  The solstice of 2012 (or as I liked to call it THE GREAT CONJUNCTION) has come and gone.  When we look around at our world it still seems neck deep in crises.  Where is this promised golden age?  The problem I think is the misunderstanding of the ascension idea.

The picture we have been painted by various channelled messages and new age thought about  ascension has been one where everybody just wakes up and suddenly agrees on the same things.  It sounds like the metaphysical version of 1984 when you examine it.  When in our entire history have we all agreed on anything?  The only way that would be possible is with some vast system of mind control.   (The Mooneagle isn't ruling that out, but who watches the watchmen)?  In other versions it dictates a rapid ascension of those that "embrace these energies (or ideas)" and continued struggle and extra suffering for those who do not.  Does that sound judgmental at all?  Of course not it's for their good right?

When I have looked at how these ideas work I have noticed that the solutions all seem to come from outside.  I'm not saying that you can't get solutions or ideas from elsewhere, but I doubt seriously that they appear out of nowhere.  When I've had a solution just come out of the blue it is usually something I'd been working intently on and contemplating for a while.

Contrast this with the idea of embodiment.  It's not as fancy at first, for one we have to stay in our flesh suits.  It requires being present, being conscious (not that ascension doesn't), and fully engaging with the world around us.  By fully engaging I mean coming out of our heads and truly feeling our lives.  In the past I have been guilty of meditating my feelings away,  living in the abstract rather than the visceral.  Ascension is great don't get me wrong, but what our world truly needs is some of these high energies anchored securely here by the people making choices.  We forget that the world is a shared dream.  When we  don't fully embody the energies of spirit by placing it in some ethereal realm we cut ourselves off from our ability to change the nature of the dream.  We can then fall prey to those that want to shape the dream to their benefit at the expense of others.  Things like media, culture and religion all attempt to control the narrative of the dream.  Some of them mean well,  but even so they present an incomplete picture.  The more we embody, the more conscious we become of the dream like nature of our reality.

Embodiment is not easy.  It requires us to feel strongly.  That means sometimes it hurts.  If you think spiritual growth means not having to feel unpleasant emotions I have disappointing news for you.  There are times when I feel awful about everything, and yet it seems from those places I have moved into even higher patterns of life.  It's my goal to fully embody the quality of joy, but what most people don't realize is to do that you must also experience deep sorrow.  The weight of depression has caused me to develop skills and strengths I never would have found in any other way.  It caused me to seek new ways of being, to seek change.  Let's face it if we felt awesome all the time we'd never change.

So how about yourself?  Are you living in your head trying to ascend to some ideal plane of existence where the problems just drop away?  Are you mired deep in the pit of collective nightmares?  Are you trying your hardest not to feel fully?  Well friend you aren't alone.  Gandhi said to be the change you wish to see in the world.  If you believe in that idea embodiment might just be for you.  What energy would you like to see more of in the world:  love, peace, wisdom, creativity, joy, innovation?  Pick one or pick  all of them, and then embody them.  That is how you are the change.  You live them, you feel them, and ultimately you become them.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Measure of Success

Greetings all,


July had been a slow month until this week.  (Thank you despacho ceremony).  Slow enough that I had time to reflect on the past year and actually this phase of my life.  The slowness of my business for three weeks had in one way been a blessing, as it gave me space to process some deep wounds.  I also got some personal research and work done that will end up serving myself and clients well.  I transmuted a lot of heavy feelings (okay yes I cried but you would've too).  Still about a week before the upturn in client sessions I was getting down on how successful I perceived myself to be.  I coined the phrase, "Ok Universe if you don't start supporting me, I'll break up with you and start seeing another Universe on the side."  It was funny and actually I've been working more actively since with parallel universes.  (There's lots to choose from).  However it really occurred to me that the universe was supporting me with the extra time and space to process.

My clients sometimes think I am just this mellow guy who has it all worked out.  The truth is I have my own challenges in both my personal and professional life.  I am affected by the events of the world and everyday life.  I am also affected by the collective idea of success.  I grew up in the mainstream culture.  There is a narrative about success.  Basically we want everyone to recognize us and our work and pat us on the back.  Sometimes we get that, whether it is in the form of more clients, more money, professional awards or acknowledgement.  We won't always be recognized to the extent we think we "need" to be successful.

I got to thinking about how we measure our success.  What if we changed it a bit?  Is it enough for us to know that the work we do is of good quality if our needs are getting met?  Are we confusing goal achievements or social adulations with success?  I know I look at my youtube channel all the time seeing if I have new comments or how many views I have received in a week.  I got so excited when I first hit 100,000 views. of course then I realized some videos top that in less than a few hours.  It got me thinking about how well known I want to be.  I basically just want to be known enough so that I can get to do the work I love doing and live comfortably.  I wouldn't want to be like Oprah I wouldn't have privacy.  I like to keep my life pretty insulated particularly because of the type of work I do.  At the same time my ego is saying, "You fool be famous!"  My ego wants to get into more exclusive places I guess.  This is of course a bit premature, I'm nowhere near even a million hits on my youtube channel.  Hmmm perhaps I should change the title of this blog to ramblings rather than musings.  

Well let's break it down now for you.  Do you consider yourself successful?  How do you define success?  Is your definition too narrow?  Do you discount accomplishments just because others don't see them as special?  Is success more important to you than happiness?  What if happiness became part of your definition of success?  Muse on those this week and let me know if you come up with anything.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Sensitivity

Greetings all,

I hope you've been enjoying the Grand Water Trine in the sky this month.  I've been finding it a challenge myself.  Emotions have been magnified, fears have been brought to light, and the past has reared its head complete with a bulleted list of regrets.  Some are telling me that this the cleanse before the renewal.  Remaining aware of it has been a real test of my resolve.

Emotions are the great challenges.  They paint the events of our life.  They color our internal narrative.  Are we in a tragedy or a comedy?  For someone like me they pose an extra challenge.  I have to first determine whether what I am feeling is mine or not.  You'd be surprised about how many feelings we carry that aren't really ours to start with.  Even if it is only a percentage separating out what isn't ours makes a huge difference.

Another challenge for empathic people is criticism.  Nobody of course enjoys criticism, but it hits doubly hard for empaths.  The thing which is the hardest to remember when it happens is that just because someone says something about you doesn't make it true.  I have a habit of looking at myself under a very fine microscope and cataloguing the shortcomings.  So when somebody comes along and criticizes one of them it is redundant.  Rest assured I am very aware of my flaws.  We vacation together that's how well we know each other.

So if you are like me you have been told that you are too sensitive.  I would say perhaps I am, but that is why people come to see me.  They want to use my sensitivity.  So is it a weakness or a strength?  The answer is it is both.  However I have learned to be wary of people who too often use the line, "you're too sensitive."  Usually in context of the situations I have experienced people who rely on that after saying hurtful things are telling me that my feelings don't matter, and that their need to be clever or superior is more important than treating me with respect.  I've also heard the terms, "Well I'm just blunt take me or leave me."  Experience again has taught me to go ahead and leave.  Who wants to hang around people who are going to constantly beat you over your head with your flaws.

Now some of you are going to think well that is all just ego.  You'd be right.  It is ego.  It's my ego and I own that.  I don't see a reason to let a part of myself be abused.  You wouldn't let someone come to your home and beat up on your dog, why is the social aspect of yourself less important?  In the spiritual community ego bashing is commonplace.  I've heard people talk about "killing" the ego or "destroying" the ego.  That seems a bit violent to me.  I've also noticed that some of these same people are bent on "helping" others destroy their ego.  Mostly they do it by being assholes, and kicking people when they are down.  When confronted they hide behind the "spiritual lesson" they are teaching.  What you have here is a spiritualized ego.  This is the ego on righteousness steroids.  The ego has become enmeshed with the spiritual identity (not that I would know anything about that...).

So are you being too sensitive?  Perhaps, or you could also be surrounded by less than kind people.  I'm not saying that you shouldn't entertain criticism.  I am saying that there comes a time to show it to the door and turn in for the night.  Look around you.  Look at your relationships.  Is there someone who seems to need to hurt the feelings of those they deem too sensitive? Are you carrying more than your fair share of emotional burdens?  Are you respecting the feelings of others?  Are you respecting your own feelings?  I will let you ponder that for a week and hope that you are feeling better for it.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle