Sunday, May 21, 2017
I hope you had a pleasant weekend. I got out and about. This weekend is the second time I participated in a local festival called the Mighty Kindness Hoot. It is an artistic festival centered around kindness. It's just a one day even and both times I have really enjoyed being a part of it.
On such special occasions I have to break out my horns. Walking around the fair I got to feel the energy of the event quite viscerally. It felt pretty good. I've been to my fair share of holistic, healing, and psychic fairs. This had some elements of those but also elements of a street fair, a wellness fair, an art fair, a local business fair, and an social cause event. Now people often confuse being nice with being kind. I have worried of late that I am more nice than I am kind. I see that as a problem. Nice is a behavior, usually one that is self serving or manipulative. In my mind it doesn't come from a clean place, but one of calculation and strategy. Kindness comes from the heart, it is more innate and more pure. It comes from the desire to do good for another simply to do good, not for the hope that it will put you in a good position later.
Are you still fuzzy on the difference? Well it is a significant one. The easiest way is to give you an example. If I were to give a reading to someone where there is some unpleasant news to deliver if I am being nice I will try and sugar coat it, or make it sound like something it isn't. If I am being kind I will give the person the information without trying to make it more palatable and then see if there is something that can be done to help them deal with the situation. Nice is all about appearances and seeming pleasant. Kind is all about service. It is not great service to put on a fake smiley face and feed someone sweet delusions so they keep coming back for more. Kindness is healing, nice is just covering up the symptoms. Kindness is hard to do in certain circumstances, nice makes us feel like we are good even if we're not doing good.
Some people are just very kind by nature. Now most of us start out that way, but somewhere along the road of life we've had it beaten out of us. We armor ourselves against the hurst of the world and genuine kindness can be hard to come by. As I said above I often worry that I am more nice than kind, so I try to ask the question, "What would be the kind thing to do?" I ponder it for a moment, see what answer I get, and sometimes I even do it.
It is my hope that lost kindness can be relearned, because kindness is its own reward. There is an ease in the kind heart that is not found in the false projections of the niceties. Manners are all well and good, but intent is the key to all. In this world of broken dreams and shattered promises it can be easy to overlook that the solutions to many of the world's problems are available to us. The only thing stopping us is our ability to work together towards a common goal. The lost art of getting along is more important now than ever. In this time a little bit of kindness could go a long way to creating a brighter future.
So why am I telling you this? Well take stock of yourself and be very honest. Are you more kind or nice? (You know you could be neither, but you probably wouldn't be reading this in that case). Have you forgotten how to be kind effortlessly? Is your heart light with joy and compassion or is close and calculating? Look at your own motives, make sure you are aware of the energy that is moving you. There is often a fear that if we allow ourselves the freedom to be kind that we will be taken advantage of by others. There is that danger, but if you are aware of yourself and the spirit of Mighty Kindness you will often feel when others don't resonate with it. You don't have to be blind to the evils of the world to choose to be kind. Just keep your eyes open, all three of them, and remember most of all, be kind to yourself.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, May 14, 2017
This week the full moon graced the sign of Scorpio. What some of you may not know is that in my birth chart my moon was in that sign. That is actually the origin of my name Mooneagle. There are 3 animals associated with Scorpio: the serpent, the scorpion (obviously), and lastly but less well known the eagle.
Scorpio is one that peers into the depths, and is aware of the deep currents of the psyche. This week we had a glimpse into our often buried passions and pains. There is a misconception that meditation and spiritual practice will always leave you feeling better. Let me just burst that bubble for you. Sometimes you are left feeling very raw and vulnerable. As we grow up we learn to suppress our feelings, or at the very least not to let them show. When we slow down and sink into our minds and hearts those feelings rise up longing to be heard. The more we've shoved those feelings down the more uncomfortable it can be for us to move deeper into ourselves.
Now I rely on my feelings in the work that I do. It is an asset to me, but for many years it was a liability. For whatever reason it seems common that when people know you are sensitive that they will provoke or attack you. Now usually a bully is projecting their feelings onto their victims. They hate those vulnerable parts of themselves so when they see them in others they attack to free themselves of the discomfort. They get to feel strong, for a moment. That is one coping strategy, another is to retreat into the self away from other people in a mental realm. This second strategy can lead to creative leaps or inventiveness, or it can lead to delusions and a fracturing of reality for a person. Yet another common strategy is to numb the self, and in fact this one is actually celebrated in our culture. We call it toughening up, and in truth a certain degree of this is necessary so that we don't become paralyzed by our own emotions. However we often take it to an extreme where we barely allow ourselves to feel them at all.
I realized in the past few months that I haven't allowed myself to feel deeply in my own life. I don't allow myself the space to want what I truly desire. This is a real detriment when it comes to creating a life that I love as I can't get the emotional energy needed to power such a change. As I moved into healing some of this scar tissue I have been put in touch with a lot of the pain I shoved down into the depths of my consciousness. This is a weight I carry everyday, but for the most part I am unaware of how much it has weighed me down. Transmuting this pain and wounding will take a lot of focus and effort and will leave me feeling quite exposed. If I don't heal it and transform it though I will never move into that life that I've pictured.
So why am I telling you this? Trust me it's not to throw a pity party. Spirit repeatedly has told me I'm not special. If you are reading this I'd say there's a great chance that you are unconsciously carrying around a wound or pain that you have encased and tossed down into the subconscious. You carry that with you all the time like extra ballast. Over time that extra weight makes it harder and harder for you to move forward freely. This past week's moon had the potential to reveal what we have tossed in the bottom of our awareness. It would not be a pleasant revelation, it may be quite traumatic in fact, but it is necessary if we want something different in our lives.
As we move forward into the next moon, get in touch with what you are still carrying. Just begin to acknowledge it. It will probably be uncomfortable it may actually even hurt quite a bit, but we need to feel that if we are to truly set it down for good. Be gentle with yourselves, be forgiving of yourself first and then others. Look within and see what is there and do your best to still love yourself in that place of vulnerability. One thing I learned is that the more we accept ourselves as we are the more we change. It is quite counterintuitive, but once you grasp that it can be quite liberating. Here's a toast to the depths and the treasures it can bring back to us.
Peace and Blessings,
Saturday, May 6, 2017
I hope you are enjoying the first week of May. For most of this week I've been without a voice. Which is very difficult when you teach 4 classes. This came on the heels of a very powerful ceremony. Maybe the universe is telling me to be quiet. Well it didn't say anything about blogging so here I am.
One of the biggest stumbling blocks I encounter with myself and with others is trust. It holds us back. For without trust we cannot move ahead without constantly looking behind us. This is particularly true in the work I do. Unlike Hollywood I don't get a huge special effects budget for my work. Sometimes my clients see instant changes and other times they unfold gradually in a way that could almost be coincidental, if it didn't keep happening. There are other times when after I do my ceremonies or transformational work where things seem to get worse, until something new enters the picture. It is at that moment right before the change occurs where trust is needed the most. Suspending our fears is key to allow something new to come into being. The more we can trust, the more we can have happen.
Being able to project a field of calm energy is essential for me in my work. I just don't always have the best luck when it has to do with my own life. It is easier to know for someone else that things will generally work out alright, than it is to accept that for yourself. The more personal something is the more charge we attach to it, but that is the real test for ourselves. When we overcome that fear and begin to trust ourselves and the Universe, that is when we really step into our true power.
So why am I telling you this? Well lately myself and those around me have been having challenges with trust. We see the worst happening even though it isn't a sure thing. Once we get locked into that spiral life becomes a series of imagined tragedies stealing our power, our peace, and our joy. We forget to be grateful and often forget to be kind. This is the forging process of the soul. In the coming week see if you can suspend your tendencies to focus on what could go wrong and instead work out your trust muscles. What if things go right or turn out better than you hoped. When we work with spirit things have a way of turning out differently than we planned but ultimately better. Keep that in mind, and remember trust me.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, April 30, 2017
It's Beltane! I've been making my rounds. Yesterday I led my first despacho ceremony for the year. It won't be the last. If you have a fire pit, I will do despacho. It really is that simple.
I know I have explained what they are before, but for all the new readers just tuning in I will recap it. A despacho is an offering to spirit. As you can see in the picture above they are quite colorful affairs. We make a bundle out of pretty paper and fill it with goodies for the Pachamama (Mother Earth). Into this bundle we place sugar for sweetness, because we all need a little sweetness in our life. We also put some wine, because apparently she likes to kick back and enjoy a glass or two. There is also candy and chocolates. We certainly must remember the flowers and sparkly things. This almost sounds like courtship doesn't it? Well we are trying to show our love to Spirit, because we also put our prayers into the bundle.
We breathe our prayers into every piece of the despacho. The bundle of three bay leaves that we pass around are called Kintu. Now if we were down in Peru we'd be using coca leaves but the government frowns on that so we raid the spice aisle at the grocery instead. The first Kintu bundle I pass around is always for gratitude. We start with thankfulness with what we have, most of us have quite a lot to be thankful for when we stop to consider our lives. In that gratitude bundle we also always thank weather, because without the cooperation of weather we can't complete our ceremony. After that first bundle goes around I send a few around that are what I call "freebies", they're for asking for the things that you want or need. I usually send one around for our loved ones and what they need. The final Kintu which will go on top once the despacho is sealed is for anything we have forgotten to ask for or for anyone we forgot to include. I put a 3 day window on it, because sure enough I always go home that night and think I forgot to ask for so and so to get their promotion.
After we have sent the bundles around we all beam our energy from our hearts into the despacho. Then I get out my tinkly bell and bless it with sound. We then seal it up tied with pretty ribbon, the prettiest flower, and the final Kintu bundle. So you're thinking we take it to the fire now right, but you'd be wrong. Before we do that everyone gets smudged with the despacho bundle to take our heaviness from us to be burned away so we can feel light in our hearts again. Now we take it out to the fire and if you're like me you're going to want to drum as it burns.
I always feel great after despacho. I love making them. It's a process and ceremony that really speaks to the innocence in me. As I think on who I am without all my defenses, adaptions, and scars I remember the loving self I came into this life to be. Despacho helps me to reclaim some of that, to be easy in my heart, more hopeful, and less defensive. For someone who can be as distant and secluded as myself that is extremely important. I relish any opportunity to either lead or participate in these ceremonies. This time I was hosted by the Louisville Spiritualist Center. They were extremely welcoming. They even purchased a fire pit so that I could do this. I've been really blessed to find people to share ceremony with, and the space in which to share it. Being on a healing journey can feel solitary at times, so it is good to come together and burn our cares.
So why am I telling you this? Well ceremony is a powerful thing, particularly when done in a group. All of us need support. There are no lone wolves on the healing roads. We all need our circles now. The world can be a scary place full of dark corners. So we light the fires of spirit with each other. Sharing our own light. It can be hard to see our own flame, but when we share we get the chance to see it reflected in the hearts and eyes of our loved ones. Creating a bundle of prayers that we birth with fire is just one way to call in our joy. There are many other ways from many other traditions. So in the coming season of fire I suggest you gather with some folks of like heart and hold your own ceremonies. If you're not too far off a Mooneagle might fly in and create a bundle with you to gift into the sacred fire. Who knows what could happen, it's magic after all.
Peace and Blessings,
P.S. From myself and the Faeries, HAPPY BELTANE!
Sunday, April 23, 2017
Welcome to Earth Day. Well truly I meant to write this yesterday, but you know how time is all ripply and wobbly it never sits still. Thank goodness for photographs am I right? So we'll pretend that I got this post out on Earth Day okay, just work with me on this folks.
Seen from space everything looks so peaceful and majestic. You can't see the bird droppings on the driveway, you can't even see the driveway. From a distance all is right with the world. The clouds move, the oceans churn, and the green grows. It's only when you get down in it that things get messy. Humanity is like that too, from a distance you see the cities, the airplanes, the space station and satellites, and if you're another species out in the cosmos you might think, "My what a marvelous civilization, look at all the art and culture." It seems that way until you get in closer.
Earth is our home, our planet provides for us free of charge the elements necessary for life. We are part of Her (yes Her). The elements in our very bodies all come from this planet of ours. We are made up of the Earth. We are little walking talking Earth bodies. Yet there seems to be a large powerful faction that seems to promote strategies that would destroy this large body of which we are made. This would be akin to you or me deciding to cut out several of our vital organs to sell on the black market, completely oblivious to the fact that when we do we shall perish. They say that we own the Earth, which would be like one of our fingers or toes proclaiming themselves lord and master of our entire body while refusing to feed that body or keep it clean. This boys and girls is why we have an Earth Day.
Currently we have two of the self proclaimed "masters" rattling their sabers at one another threatening to start a war without limits. (Nuclear war for the laymen among us). Again to use the body metaphor this would be like your left hand throwing a grenade at the right hand. Right now in the zoomed in view of our species we do not look like sophisticated cultured beings, we appear as monkeys throwing excrement at each other. While we beat and torment those that wish only to protect our water so it is safe for all, we allow companies to take ownership of lands and reservoirs who care only about shareholder profits. While we pass laws that make it more difficult to cut back the amount of plastic waste that ends up in the ocean and thus our seafood, we eviscerate funding for renewable energy research and start ups. We have politicized caring for our world, and because of that we all suffer.
I have been watching for most of my life the wholesale destruction of all that is beautiful and life sustaining. It has been a great weight on my heart since I was 11 years old. I am the reason my family recycles (who now would not even think to throw away something before checking to see if it is recyclable). I care for Earth like I would for a family member. I get angry when I see Her abused, as I would if I saw a loved one being beaten by a spouse. To me the Earth is not just home, She is a person, a Mother of Mothers, She is our Ancestor from whom we descend. When you view Her as such it becomes personal. You wouldn't let someone beat your Grandmother so why would you let them do that to the Earth who is Mother to all? So when people ask me to be calm and realize that politics have to play out, I am less than patient. I tend to resonate more with the words of House Baratheon (sorry Game of Thrones reference), "Ours is the fury!"
Anger is not a bad thing. Anger is a sign that something is wrong. Now that can mean it is our perception or thinking which is wrong, but in this case where we have mountains of data and rigorous research I'm confident this is not a perception error. We are killing our Mother. We are killing ourselves and all our distant relations of plants and animals with us. Yes even I am guilty. I use too much water. I don't eat as locally and responsibly as I should. I try and do better, but working within the system we have it is nearly impossible to not do harm. Which says to me we need a new system.
So why am I telling you this? Well if we need a new system, we need people to dream that new system into being. So my intrepid dreamers what matters to you? Do you like to get out in the water to fish or boat. Dream a system that protects and honors our waters. Do you like to hike through the woods? Dream up a system of land management that fosters our forests, and keeps them vital. Do you like a city life, but hate the traffic, noise and fumes? Dream up a city of the future with green energy, bustling transit hubs, and urban farming knit within the fabric of civilization. The older generations are passing onto us an out of date system that won't serve us. It is up to us and our descendants to dream a better one into being. We start there in the dream, then we bring those hopes and wishes into our plans and actions. This is Earth Day and we are little Earthlings. It is time to make Momma proud.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, April 16, 2017
I hope you had a lovely easter or passover. Whichever holiday you celebrated or didn't I hope the week brought you joy.
This week I sent back a book to the library. This was the first book I had to use interlibrary loan to obtain. It is quite a rare find. I have been tracking serendipity of late. Often when I am contemplating a particular topic information appears where least expected. In this case I went to the dictionary. I was fairly certain I knew what the word meant, but you'd be surprised how many words we use that started out with a different meaning. Words like people can change. Well I was quite shocked to find that the origin of this word started with a Persian fairy tale. The title of which is in the picture above.
Serendipity is finding something helpful or valuable you weren't actively searching for, and indeed the Princes of Serendip were continually finding something while on a completely different errand. To use video game lingo, they were the masters of side questing. Their island was beset by dragons that attacked ships and their father sent them forth into the world to find a way to defeat these dragons. On the way they rescued a lost princess, kept a king from being poisoned by a vassal, retrieved a magic mirror, and delivered a nation from an evil hand (yep totally malevolent that hand). It should be noted that during this they were tracking down a wizard with the formula for the death of dragons. The princes considered themselves great failures because they always just seemed to miss him. As the story plays out though it was through these acts of service that their main quest was fulfilled, in a way that couldn't have happened if they had attempted it. So they found what they were looking for because they didn't truly know what it was they were looking for.
I have mentioned before that I've been getting signs through dreams. Indeed last fall my dreams of a phoenix over the course of a week led me to co-create a very special midwinter drumming ceremony. I was completely surprised to learn that a phoenix plays a major part in the story of the three princes. Once again it was if the universe ran in and pinched me on the bottom and then ran out of the room while laughing hysterically. When these pieces keep showing up, I think it means I'm on the right path.
So why am I telling you this? There is an undercurrent in our life, beneath the chatter of our minds and plans. If we are flexible and curious that current can take us to unexpected places, somewhere we could never find if we were to consciously seek it out. Some people seem to head right for their goals, my road always meanders. The Princes of Serendip accomplished their goal because despite being on a crucial mission they were always available to do service for others. Here too is a lesson. It can be easy to become wrapped up in our errands and lives so that we don't offer of ourselves where we can make a pivotal difference in the lives of those around us. As you go through this week try loosening your grip on your plans and perhaps just see what else develops. We all have missions, but sometimes the best means to accomplish them is by taking the long way round.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, April 9, 2017
Well we had winter for two days this week, but we seem to be firmly entrenched in spring now. I've had a low key week which is nice considering the flurry of activity that March was. I am doing my best not to overcommit myself this month. Which is lasting about five minutes it would seem. Somehow the pacing in my life is finally picking up. I can't complain, for years my calendar was empty and my phone silent. Now I have to silence my phone. Things do come around.
My big story this week is that at long last my car has a working driver side window again. HURRAH! For any of you who have ever had a window you couldn't roll down you know why I am so excited. I have the wind again. I hadn't been able to roll the window down since early last May, and let me tell you the summer was miserable in my car because of that. So in the early evening I was treated to the feeling of the breeze on my face as I drove towards home.
It is often said that it is the simple things in life you treasure. For the past twenty four hours I have had random upwellings of joy. I was blessed that a friend of mine's husband had the tools and mechanical skills to get the job done. With myself providing the parts and the friends and family discount they offered me, I was able to afford this miracle of modern engineering, a working power window. It is the small things over the course of a life that really add up into something special: cooking a meal for a loved one, leaving a light on for them, a hand of support on a shoulder, offering to pick someone up from the airport, or calling someone to check on them.
We have the myth of the self made man (or woman) in our culture. We value independence, and it is important to learn to stand on your own. However, it is an illusion. Most of us don't build our own houses, grow our own food, make our own clothes, manufacture our own cars, and cut our own roads. We are interdependent. All of us together create the conditions to make it easier for all of us to function in the world. Very few of us go it alone, we are all standing on the accomplishments of those who have gone before us, and thousands of unseen people who's contributions touch our lives. I felt so accomplished yesterday, but all I did was buy parts (which by the way a friend helped me look up). It is a small thing, a window, but it allows us to see beyond our walls. A window that opens is helping me see the connection between people and the interplay of giving and receiving.
So why am I telling you this? Well honestly I'm still riding the, " I have working car window again,", high. Seriously though, there are so many ways that we can help each other, and when we do we see the world in a kinder and clearer light. Right now we may not have all the pieces we need, but odds are someone we know does. More importantly we may have something that they need as well, but are too shy to ask us for. With the ways of the world a door may close on the traditional path to getting what we need, but a window may open instead. That window may take you some place you hadn't expected, and sometimes that is the best place to be. I hope you find the solutions in each other this week.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, April 2, 2017
I hope you had a joyful week. We keep flitting between spring and late winter chill. I was fortunate to attend a new moon ceremony led by a good friend. As things go there was of course a bit of mischief to be had.
I was supposed to be the drummer. I even arrived early by the statue of Pan. There was a chill but I set up and played my didjeridu to pass the time, and then when I was fully winded switched to my drum. It was getting quite late and still I was alone. Well as it turned out the ceremony had been moved to a different hill in the park. I had to hop in my car and zoom around to a pavilion on dog hill. This meant the ceremony was very brief, but as we stood there under a dark sky with a bit of chill, the mists were rising. Afterwards, we took a candle lantern home with us. I stuck around for a bit and let people draw a rune for the new moon.
Several other people who had been at the circle were off in the distance doing some fire twirling, but with lit color changing LED balls. It was a hypnotic dance of beautiful vibrant fractal light. Watching them practice to a trance inducing beat was magical. It reminded me of a book I read a few months back called, The Night Circus. I highly recommend it. In the novel the circus arrives mysteriously and is open from nightfall to dawn. It is called Le Cirque de Reves, meaning the circus of dreams. Each tent is an act of magical creation, in which reality is sculpted as high art. Reading it made me want to use my talents to create wonders.
I am often asked what got me into my line of work. I usually answer that it was my own suffering that led me into healing. While that is true, it is really only half of the answer. Wonder and fascination are what makes my heart expand and flourish. Seeking after that child like sense of mystery has been the true driver of my soul's engine. The pain and suffering were simply the shovel to move that fuel of wonder into the furnace of my heart.
Years ago when I began pursuing my dreams with a friend, we worked with the manifesting energetic tools that were being popularized at the time. We were focused on the big dreams and big picture, but we ignored the day to day pieces of living. We didn't get much of anywhere with those dreams and sadly that friendship is no more. These past few years I have made tremendous strides in the small pieces of the dream: setting up an office, writing a book, writing this blog, putting out regular videos, speaking at events, teaching classes, furthering my education, and just taking care of all the day to day steps. This is good and well, but I had lost sight of the vision. I had no big dream guiding those steps, no great passion. As a spirit recently told me, "You don't let yourself dream." Now while my overall work has improved, I'm still not where I want to be. This is because although I am still moving the shovel, I'm not stoking the furnace with the wonder of those big ideas.
We are people of the middle world. Below us is the earth our mother, and we must tend to our needs while we are embodied. Above us is the firmament of stars and heavenly cosmos. We get a lot of contradictory messages growing up, "Reach for the stars," while also hearing, "Get your head out of the clouds." Recently spending an evening out in the country I was able to actually see the stars. Here in the city it is easy to forget the majestic beauty that lies just over our heads. I'd been a good little task master the last few years, but I hadn't been looking up and beyond the day to day to the bigger picture. I suppose it was good, I'd been on the other extreme, all dreams with no action and having realized I'd come to the opposite of action without a direction. You see we need a star to steer our life by, a dream, something that stirs the fires in our hearts. For me it is to connect with that sense of wonder and share it with others. This is what makes me a trickster, I don't accept the world just as it is, but rather what it could be. What could be more radical than that? So it is clear to me it is time to dream big again. I think I have a decent handle on the practical steps so now I have to nudge my focus between the day to day and the overarching vision I have for my life.
So why am I telling you this. Well you probably are in a similar spot. Either you are full of dreams, but are not connected to the day to day necessities or you are all necessities while the secret yearnings of your soul are constantly put on the back burner. We are people of the middle world meant to bridge the energies of the earth and the stars. You are meant to dream big and make an impact. This doesn't mean you have to change the world, just your corner of it. Wonder may be my soul's drug of choice, but yours could be compassion, peace, wisdom, or joy. The actions you take don't have to be big they just need to be fed by a big and vibrant heart. So get out your astrolabes, put on your work boots, grab your gear, sing your song, and step out onto the path. Find your guiding star and let your actions lead you there.
Peace and Blessings,
Saturday, March 25, 2017
Well I have been a busy bee. Above you see pictures from my spring equinox drum ceremony. It had everything a budding thaumaturge could ask for: two drummers for balance, one male one female, a dark and light drum, a clear and smoky crystal, cold and warmth, clouds and sun, and last but not least a man and his dog.
Monday the 20th was the equinox and I was of course dedicated to ceremony, but I was also on a time constraint. For Monday is my do everything day. I clean, I do laundry, I teach, and I goto the gym. It's why I never schedule clients on that day. Shamanic practitioner I may be, but the toilet isn't going to scrub itself, nor the laundry wash itself. So in between loads of laundry I scampered off to a local park. I met with one of my teachers there and I set up my altar space. Just as we were getting started an older man walked by with a little dog, and my teacher a consummate dog lover asked, "What kind of dog is she?"
I have often written about the power of questions, and what they can unleash into the world. I had no concept of what was to follow. I should note beforehand, that I am always a little trepidatious about performing ceremony in what amounts to public space. I never know who will be around, if they will honor the space, or if they will be belligerent and start spouting religious dogma at me. In this case I needn't have worried. The man whom I shall call Mr. J. was extremely friendly, curious, and courteous. He obviously was very kind natured and loved to talk with people. Indeed he kept us talking for at least twenty minutes, and even asked us about what we were doing. I was vague on the details, but simply said we were celebrating the incoming season of spring. He wanted to know more, and so I meted out little bits of information all the while quite conscious of the time ticking away and becoming more and more anxious. I finally gave up and just let him meander on his conversational track until it seemed like he was at its conclusion. I remembered this is ceremony and whatever happens will happen for a reason.
Mr. J. departed taking his little dog home. We very quickly moved into ceremony. Now here is the very interesting bit. When I arrived it was quite raw and wet out. It didn't feel like spring at all. I was regretting not having ear muffs. Well about midway through the ceremony the sun started to peak out. All of the sudden the gray overcast light was peeled back to reveal the bright yellow light of spring. By the time we'd finished the drumming, the temperature had moderated considerably. It felt a good 10 degrees warmer. It was as if spring had arrived at the apex of the ceremony. Perfect in its timing I was glad I had indulged Mr. J., for if we had started when we first intended we would have missed the transformation from winter to spring. Instead our drumming seemed to be plugged into the exact moment when the seasons changed.
Later on that day as I was busily seeing to my chores before teaching I realized something else about our encounter. Mr. J. had been the living archetype of the Fool from the tarot. Now don't misunderstand, I'm not insulting him. I don't mean fool as someone who is ignorant or stupid. I am referring to the open innocence that the Fool card can possess. It is the wild card of the major arcana. It is the zero card, the void, and is one face of the divine. The Fool is also lucky. Often in the card he (or sometimes she) is depicted with a little dog heading off into the world beneath the sun, innocent to any dangers on the path ahead, and so they are open to new experiences. Looking back I can't even be sure Mr. J. was actually there and not a spirit in disguise meant to test our courtesy while helping us to be in sync with the energies of seasonal transformation. I have been told that the old stories still walk amongst us in our world.
So why am I telling you all this. Well are you ever in such a hurry or so tied to a schedule that you miss the magic that is trying to happen for you? Do you treat others as an inconvenience rather than an invitation? Are you aware of those moments when the balance changes and something new begins? Well maybe it is time to slow down your agenda and greet what is coming to you right now. Here we stand at the doorway of spring. What unforeseen forces are stalking you for your higher good? Will you snap out of your controlled routines to see the mystery that hunts for your heart? Will you capture the magic by letting go of the reins to your plans? Try just for a few days, and maybe one of the old stories will find you. Maybe you'll meet dear Mr. J. and then, well that's another story.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, March 19, 2017
I hope you had a great week. I'll be honest the time change really punched my clock in more ways than one this week, and the next ten days for me is going to a blur of activity. I'll be teaching my normal four Tai Chi classes as well as hosting the monthly Local Chapter of the Monroe Institute meditation, speaking at local meditation group, teaching another Qi Gong class at the Louisville Salt Cave, and facilitating a four hour workshop on runes. This whole month has been that way with clients too. I'm grateful for the sudden influx of opportunities, just hoping I can space them a bit more wisely in the future.
I"ve been trying to reconnect with my deeper mysteries this year. People keep coming to me with more complicated and heavy issues and so I'm upping my game by returning to my magical roots. What I am noticing as I delve back into my divinatory tools and otherworldly interactions is just how much I actually pick up on subconsciously. There are many times I will do something in a session, or in my life spontaneously for no apparent reason. It is only in looking back after the fact that I realize I made the perfect move for what was about to occur. This has shown up as I review old dream journals too, as I am realizing part of me at least is very in touch with what is going to happen beforehand (sometimes by years).
This unconscious preparedness should have me more excited, but truthfully it would be nice to know what I know more often. For one thing it would improve my confidence level and lower my anxiety. Intuition is a subtle thing, and in my case it likes to fly under the radar. There are reasons why I use cards, runes, and other divination tools to focus. Having a little bit of structure actually gives me the freedom to range out with my senses. A starting point is kind of important if you're trying to get someplace. Now I have random bits of information pop into my head all the time but stringing them together into a coherent reference of meaning is where the work comes in.
Now I don't mean to complain about running on the equivalent of psychic autopilot. I'm actually rather pleased once I figure out that I did something on purpose, even if I didn't know it at the time. What I realize is that my need to make all these senses more conscious is part of my effort to be "in control". Of course we could just as easily call it my addiction to the illusion of control. Oddly the more I let go of control, the more things flow, and the more access I have to my intuitive faculties. So the only reason to try and look in control is for appearance sake....basically marketing. I really should give that up, marketing is not one of my strong points.
So why am I telling you this? Well perhaps like me your guidance is just fine and you're not aware of how pervasive its positive influence is on you. Many of us have such a strong image in our heads of what being psychic or intuitive means we may be blocking our natural tendency to find our way in the dark. What if we let go of trying to prove to ourselves over and over again that we're plugged in? If you are part of this world, you're connected even if you don't know it. How our guidance shows up for us is going to be very individual thing and trying to compare how it shows up to for you as opposed to anyone else is futile. I suggest we all just chill and run with our natural inklings. We can always analyze after the fact. Once we start to trust that some part of us knows what it's doing, it becomes easier for us to access more pieces of the puzzle. So as you move through your week, keep stock of the things that turned out right. How many of those happened because you just did one thing that you didn't think about until later? You may start to see the patterns of awareness hidden beneath the surface of your everyday life. You may start to see yourself living both within time and outside of it. You may even see down the deep well of the self to the light you carry within.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, March 12, 2017
I hope you had a blessed week. I've certainly been hopping. I've had many meetings, clients, and classes to keep me on the go. My next goal is to get started in the studio again so that I can get my hands in clay.
This week has not all been about building though. As has been happening across the land, violence has come to my home. For those of you that aren't aware there has been a rash of bomb threats against synagogues and Jewish community centers across the nation. I myself happen to teach one of my Tai Chi classes at a JCC in my city. There seems to be a concerted effort by white nationalists (American Nazis) to terrorize the Jewish community. They are not alone in receiving this kind of treatment, mosques have been similarly threatened, and at times even destroyed. The only point of light in this has been the response from both Muslims and Jews who have reached out in support of one another.
This is a dark time in the USA. Those that have kept to their dark corners feel emboldened to gather and attack minorities. I have seen articles with footage from rallies that are calling for a liberal genocide, and the deporting of Jews and Muslims. People around me who are conservative are telling me it's all being blown out of proportion, but most of these are white Christians who haven't had their places of worship threatened, or worse burnt down. In the midst of this all we keep hearing from on high is more chest thumping and spouting of militaristic and violent rhetoric. People are aligning behind the, "Might makes right," argument. With our country's love affair with firearms and recent shootings of immigrants I am to say the least, a bit disgusted.
There seems to be some misconception that the ability to destroy makes someone powerful. Well it doesn't. Any idiot can blow something up, or shoot something, or light a fire, or smash a window. It takes no imagination, skill, or innate strength to destroy. Destruction is easy. Destruction is for wusses. If you want to impress me, build something. Create something elegant. Look at the picture above. The glass canopy is exquisite and delicate. As challenging as it was to make that canopy, it would be extraordinarily easy to break it. Creating something takes at least ten times the energy and skill that ruining it does. Small minds can't conceive, so they attack and smash.
I am finding it harder to muster up any respect for those in this world who take pride in what they can smash. They strut around thinking they're better because they know how to kill, maim, or take something apart. Perhaps I am being a bit judgmental, but I really feel that we need a change of culture. We need a new idea of what a warrior is. Back in the long ago, the warriors were the hunters and guardians of our tribal ancestors. Their strength was used to preserve and protect the people and what they had created. We revered that ability and strength not for its own merit, but for what it provided the community. Now we have separated physical ability from service, glorifying it for its own selfish use. Whom do we honor most, firemen or athletes? Do we honor our veterans or do we worship mixed martial artist champions? Who is stronger, the weightlifter, or the woman giving birth? The warrior archetype has been co-opted by the cult of masculinity, and has lost much of its original meaning and power.
So why am I telling you this? Well we all have a piece of this culture within us. We must ask ourselves what we honor? When we think of the warrior are we worshipping power over others, or the power to protect others? How do you define strength? When I asked that question did you immediately think of a tall well built man? Do you think of women as strong? I'll be honest with you most of my examples of strength came from women I have known. So this week as you walk through the world spend time acknowledging the strength in the hands that have grown your food, that have taught children to read, that have cared for aging relatives, that have woven the cloth in your garments, and that have solved problems with the skill of their minds. Warriors are needed in this dark time, but warriors need to impress us with what they can create.
Peace and Blessings,
Saturday, March 4, 2017
I hope you've had a good week. I've just been running trying to keep up with rate that things are changing. The more things change, the more things change. Ah you thought I was going to say "The more things change the more they stay the same." Well I used to think my life moved in cycles, but now I am beginning to think it moves in spirals. I have yet to discover if those spirals are going outward or deeper within. However considering the complex physics of my mind and dreamscapes I wouldn't put it past my destiny to do both.
Innocence, a force that is simultaneously as powerful as a waterfall and as delicate as butterfly wings. It is what we treasure and idealize in children. Innocence in our culture is something we lose, indeed it is with great relish that some people seem to go about grinding that trait right out of those that don't abandon it quickly enough. We also for some unknown reason seem to pair it with sexual awareness and experience, because natural processes are somehow impure and suspect. (I know what gives?) I really don't define innocence in that way, I see it as more an open heartedness to the world, approaching life's experience with a degree of wonder, love, and gratitude. Innocence is not ignorance in my book it is a simplicity of interaction.
Now when I came into magic working with others I was innocent. I was trusting and open. I wanted to get along with everyone and share all the wonders I was seeing. It was the same reaction that I had when encountering beings in spirit. I was walking around in wonderland, well just like Alice I got into some trouble. See when you're really innocent, you're not very discerning of people. I had several years where I was repeatedly taken advantage of, and outright attacked and abused within the magical community. The bloom was off the rose by then and I sort of retreated into myself. I still encountered many people, some very good, but I wasn't very open with many people or indeed open much at all.
Some of you may think that this is all part of maturing, and learning to discern intent is definitely part of that. Finding out where you belong, or at least where you don't belong is totally part of the growing into adulthood journey. I don't think we should be wide open to every person and situation, because quite simply too many people (and beings) do not have our best interests at heart. Still lately I've been thinking that I need to return to some of that simplicity and trust. For one thing innocence is essential with working with the energies of Faery. WAIT don't stop reading yet. I swear this shit is real. (Oh yeah my innocence is not exactly measured by how clean my vocabulary is because I can be a mouthy son of a bitch). Working in the natural energies of Faery has for me been some of the most sacred and powerful magic I've ever experienced. It is just so me, and yet as I have trained in more human systems of energy work I've spent less time with my dear cousins in the green realm.
Now to work with the faery you have to be in the right place in your heart otherwise it won't go well. You can't have ulterior motives. You have to hold innocence when you're doing the work, or at least good hearted mischievousness, and really if you can manage both those things you'll be a rockstar in the toadstool circles. People always ask me well what is faery magic good for which always struck me as odd. To me the point of it was to work with them and to feel them with me as I moved through the world in a magical way. That's not to say that it isn't useful, because they are masters at healing, manifesting, protection, and illusion. They also inspire and delight. To me they just make the world a better more awe inspiring place.
So why I am telling you all this? Well whether you're in with the fey or not, it might be time to set aside those jaded reactions. We are living in times of great change and upset. These are the times when the legends can walk amongst us again. If we wish to walk with them we'll have to shed some of the cynicism. That doesn't meant we ignore our sense of things being fishy, but it does mean we should suspend our mindset until we get a clear feeling. Instead of instantly rejecting something or someone, perhaps just thinking, "Well let's see which way this goes,", is more appropriate. If you like me constantly find that you are holding yourself back then maybe it is time to let what is in you flow. Don't be shy about the yearnings of your heart. Now is not the time to accept mediocrity, now is the time to return to the innocent expectation of great and good things. If not now then when? If not you than whom? Just let your heart love, let your mind heal, and above all hold yourself like the shining star your body was forged in.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, February 26, 2017
Well it seems lately we are all being given opportunities to test our skills in centering, releasing, and walking our talk. We are also being given the chance to brave our fears. As I often tell people there is no need to seek challenges, life shall provide them free of charge.
As I look back on my life I am sad to say that one of the greatest shaping forces has been fear. It has been the reason for not speaking up, not joining in, pulling away from others, and for not boldly pursuing my dreams. Beneath my calm seeming exterior there is often a battle raging to maintain my mellow. I get very upset when people set out to harsh my mellow. Don't harsh my mellow, I'll take it personally and I'm patient. (See I can employ fear too).
What I have noticed in this past year or so is the heightening of fear to epic proportions in our culture. With social media, a twenty four hour news cycle, and Neo-nazis in the White House, there is plenty of reason to be anxious. Yet let's be honest, we've had a love affair with fear for quite some time. To be fair fear is useful. It warns us of danger and prompts our fight or flight systems to get us out of trouble. For the past sixteen years though fear has overruled any reason or argument in the United States. Any time we are about to try and reclaim some of our surrendered liberties, the invocation of, "But the terrorists will get us if we don't let government shred the Bill of Rights,", is trotted out to the masses. Once home of the free (if you were a white male that is) is now the leader in prison populations, and we're asking travelers about their religion as they enter the country. Now some people will sound a call to arms about radical Islam, but where is the cry against radical white Christians that bomb abortion clinics or gun down people of color in their own houses of worship? Imagine if the police or border patrol was asking you if you were Muslim, now maybe you think it's alright because there are terrorists that claim that as their religion, but what if they were asking you if you were a Jew? Is that alright? What if the police started asking what political party you belonged to? Is that okay with you?
I'm sorry to be political, really I am that's not what I want my blog to be about. There are plenty of bloggers that are more qualified to talk politics, but the climate we have showing up in our politics right now is one of fear. Fear has been force fed to us since the dawn of this millennium. Sure there were scary things that happened, but then we just went bat shit crazy with them. We have actually created an environment through our reactions and overreach where we are more likely to experience the things we fear. This didn't happen overnight. We allowed ourselves to wallow in our terror and lead us by the nose. We allowed the loud voices to overpower the voices of reason. We allowed compassion to be gagged, while we stoked our anger to quell our fears. Of course what we have now are angry scared people, quite a lot of them.
Mindful of patterns I see the way history's wheel is turning, and I am making sure I can get out before we start building public "showers" for our detainees. Perhaps I am being led by my own fears there, but I am reminded of something the Tai Chi Grandmaster used to say, "Fear is a tremendous servant, but a lousy master." It's a sound motivator for sure. If you see me running I'm not working out, I'm evading danger. In this it serves me, but if I am always running I will eventually collapse. Fight or flight is only for immediate threats. We have adopted it as our entire strategy for moving through the world. We are building walls, while our roads and bridges crumble. We are provoking other nations instead of building partnerships. We are abusing the migrants, while produce rots in the fields. We are afraid and looking for an enemy to project it upon so we can exterminate that fear. We have been so conditioned by the power structures to be in a constant state of anxiety that many of us never even stop to see if our scapegoats make sense anymore.
I think we've been afraid of the wrong things. We've been afraid of the other coming to destroy us, while ignoring the enemy within ourselves. The terror of uncertainty that rules us has come to collect its harvest, and we're it. We've become the terrorists, because fear is what we now spread. There is such a loud angry part of me that wants to lash out and attack, but that of course is what is expected. That which you oppose, you uphold. Anger and fear go together. We feed one to suppress the other. It is okay to be afraid, but it is not a good place to make decisions from.
Why am I telling you this? Well so many of you are feeling the fear right now. You are angry at the direction we seem to be heading. I'm not saying don't be afraid or angry. I'm mad as hell right now, but I can't live in that space. We have to come out of the fear reaction and start thinking and feeling clearly again. We cannot let fear guide our hands or we will only create more fearful things. The world is scary enough as it is, it doesn't need us to help it along. We have to ask what kind of society do we want? Do we want a society that has police grabbing our genitals outside of restrooms because we're afraid of sexual assault from the people peeing in the next stall?
So what do we do? Well we have to start questioning everything. We have to decide if perceived safety really is working for us, or is it just a farce to keep us in bondage. We have to ask if we're coming from fear or compassion in our dealings with those different from ourselves. We have to ask what our ideals are, and are our actions lining up with them? This doesn't mean we don't pay attention to actual threats, but it does mean that threats don't get to live in our hearts and minds all day everyday. If we allow that seed of fear to germinate, it shall burst forth from our spirits in all manner of miserable harvests. So plant something else: curiosity, creativity, love, or wisdom. Then maybe we won't have to fear the reaper.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, February 19, 2017
I hope your week was peaceful. There have been waves of energy this week that I have noticed have been quite disruptive in my own life and the lives of those around me. Perhaps it is the climate we live in, or it is just one of those energetic eddies that swirl about from time to time.
So lately I have been thinking about power, magic, and all the little pitfalls that come along with its use. People are constantly coming up to me and telling me how lucky I am to be doing what I am doing and how much they want to do what I do. First off I am lucky to have the support that has allowed me to develop my gifts, but this didn't just happen overnight. I acknowledge I am blessed with a certain degree of inborn talent, but it pales in comparison to other people I have met. The largest net effect has been from my own consistent efforts to improve what I am able to do. I practiced readings for literally a decade before I did them professionally, and there are days where I still feel like a newbie. I had at least half a decade of practice with various healing techniques before I started charging for sessions. The other skill I make my way with is Tai Chi, which I have practiced for 20 years but only started teaching in facilities (i.e. not just private classes for people I knew) four years ago.
I am still clearly aware of the areas where my knowledge is lacking, and I want to keep it that way.
Don't take what I just said the wrong way. I don't mean that I don't wish to improve, far from it. However, I want to keep in perspective that all of my experience is quite small in the grand scheme of things. This does pose some challenges on the standpoint of confidence, but I prefer that to the alternative. I was remarking recently to someone that the local magical community can be very cliquish and even aggressive. It all comes down to the ego. Again not here to lambast the ego and suggest murdering it. (We have a catch and release policy at the Church of the Mooneagle). When you first start to experiment with magic or consciousness techniques it is exciting. There is expansion, you start to realize just how many possibilities there are for you and your desires. It is a huge rush, and it feels amazing. Still we end up butting heads with others especially those who are also implementing power because we live in a universe of consensual reality. We have to be pretty well balanced and emotionally clear as we continue along, otherwise it is just like giving the ego cocaine. See the crazed picture of the Mooneagle Ego above, just add a dash of cosmic power without including soul searching and self reflection. Most people want to leave that bit out. Hell I would if I could, it isn't the fun part. It is difficult to really look at yourself. It hurts to peel back the layers of encrusted wards we have raised around our vulnerability. To access the deepest power in yourself you have to go that place. The place where you dare not look is the place you must look.
Why am I telling you this now? Well I did need a blog topic for the week, but beyond that many of us are feeling the call to awaken to our own power right now. We wish to be more effective and empowered. I think that's awesome! I do want to murmur a bit of caution to you as you flex your new found psychic muscles. Keep looking at yourself and your motives. Find what you are hiding from the world and yourself and really examine it. If there is healing work to do start with yourself. That is not to say you can't help those around you, but don't conclude that the paint is dry on the canvas of your psyche. We are always growing and having our deep hurts rise to the surface, not to assail us but to be healed by us. We must be humble as we embrace our own brand of magic, because we are all beings of light.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, February 12, 2017
I hope you had a good week. Mine has been interesting, not in that Chinese curse way, "May you live an interesting life,", but just in the acceleration of feedback from dreams and omens.
In fairy tales things come in threes. Three bears, three little pigs, three rooms filled with straw to be turned into gold, three gifts or blessings, and three witches (or wise women if you prefer). For me when something appears three times in a relatively short amount of time it is a signal that it isn't just a coincidence. Somebody somewhere is trying to tell me something. I have a somewhat tentative relationship with coyote. As a fellow trickster I really want to trust him, but you know there are a lot of stories about him. So far he's laughed at me, helped me extricate myself from my jobs (it's funny now), and right now I've actually petitioned him for help. Yes I know, insanity, but these are not normal times.
Last week I dreamed I was on a walk heading to a dream meet up place (a location you meet with other dreamers to dream walk silly). On my way I encountered a mother coyote and 3 pups. The three pups wanted to play with me. So my attention was grabbed. Animals in dreams tend to peak my interest due to my shamanic training. I can hear my teacher in my head saying, "You should journey on that." I will I promise, but that's not all that happened. Yesterday I went for a walk. It's been unseasonably warm and even the dim February light is preferable to staying indoors all day. So I went through my neighborhood and down into a narrow stretch of woods, and I do mean narrow like 30 yards tops in width. As I was meandering on the path I saw movement ahead. At first I thought it might be dogs out for a run with their owner, but it was soon apparent there weren't any other human beings with these canids. These were coyotes, three of them to be exact. Now here I was out alone, and while cautious I wasn't exactly afraid. I did have a big umbrella with me for one so I was armed. (Hey a good umbrella can be an effective striking and bludgeoning device). The coyotes also appeared well fed and playful rather than aggressive. We've had a mild winter and there are plenty of deer about. Which brings me to my next encounter, the night prior to that I was driving home from a rather enjoyable game night and I came across two deer on the road home. Now lucky for me I was driving at a reasonable speed otherwise we'd have had a much more intimate encounter and by intimate I mean blood and guts splattered across my windshield. I did say fairy tale tropes tend to come in threes yes? During my nightly wanderings which some call dreams I encountered a crow. This crow wanted to get in my lap and have me pet him (or her I'm not good at determining gender of individual crows). So there you have it. I'm pretty sure something is up and somebody has a message for me.
What we have here is a not a failure to communicate. What we have here is spirit sending a text, a voicemail, email, and a Facebook message. It's all tied into a greater trend these days of a bleed over between dreaming and waking life. I'm not complaining. It keeps me engaged. Hell I feel like I'm on a quest. This is better than a video game, for one if I find treasure it's more than just ones and zeros, secondly it's exciting! Still three animal encounters, two of which are trickster spirits this is going to be big. I am glad there was some deer energy in there too, perhaps to gentle and bring in the love. I'm all about compassionate trickery. Something big is about to go down in Mooneagle town. I'm still not sure what it is, but the good news is I have help. I'm pretty sure I am the main character in this caper too.
So why am I telling you about this? Well it's fucking magical! Life is not just drudgery and obligations. It is vibrant and full of wonder, but too often we forget that. I'm not saying we should all drop our responsibilities, but I am saying we should make space for that touch of magic to get through to us. The story we're sold is that the world is a dark and terrible place, and I am not saying there isn't malice and danger out there...because there is. What I am saying is that there are powers older than you and me that tend to balance things out. There are allies that we don't even know about, secrets that only we can unravel. We have to let those possibilities in, and not block all the access points with our expectations or mindset of only looking for the next disaster. Right now with what is going on in the world we are in the dark woods. We have to decide what kind of story we're in, is it a horror story or a fairy tale? In a horror story the only options are death or survival, but a fairy tale gives us the opportunity to end happier than we began. A fairy tale reveals who we are deep down, are we good or are we the big bad wolf? Now in truth we are both, but just like in that old story with the two wolves within us that fight, who we feed will be the wolf that wins. I'm feeding that magical wolf of compassion and faery dust. I suggest you do the same.
Peace and Blessings,
Friday, February 3, 2017
I hope you have had a good week. We now trudge through the long dark of February, like the mines of Moria there are worse things than orcs in the deep places of our psyches. This week I am talking about responsibility.
Some people will sigh, and go, "Oh no not responsibility, ye Gods save us from that!" I hear you and understand. I'll never forget the time when I was working retail when a manager wanted to make me responsible for another employee. No increase in my pay mind you, just more duties and liabilities. I've had a rather dubious relationship with responsibility in my life. I've tried to have the bare minimum of it that I can muster. This is in part due to a general misunderstanding of what responsibility is, and I believe many people have similar misconceptions. We often equate responsibility with culpability. Now to be sure they are related, but they are not equivalent.
If you ever watch television you probably see a ton of ads for attorneys. Some call them ambulance chasers. I call them harbingers of doom. We here in America have become a highly litigious society. (That means we like to sue...a lot). So we have come to associate the one being responsible with the one who is to blame, and by default the one who will be bankrupted by the lawsuits. This is exacerbated by our overly complex legal code. Most of us are breaking the law everyday. You may be breaking one right now, I'm not sure which one but it is highly probable.
Now I don't want you to think I'm just out to blame all the lawyers. I've known some really good ones that were genuinely interested in helping people and standing up for the rights of those who have been victimized by either individuals or the system. This sue happy culture is actually a side effect of something deeper. We have an unrealistic expectation for people to behave perfectly. This goes double for ourselves. We who are not blind to our own shortcomings will want to avoid being the one responsible, because we know we aren't perfect and we wish to avoid blame for that. This often leads us to pointing fingers at others and scapegoating. When people are presented as the ones responsible it generally means they are about to take a fall. So in our society those with the least get blamed for the most, and those with the most take responsibility for the least. If you continue to the watch horror show called the news you will see this again and again.
Now the reason I bring this up is that I've been pondering personal responsibility lately. I've been wondering what are my personal responsibilities when it comes to my clients and students. I want to do right by them, which is not always easy to pinpoint. Making things easier for somebody is sometimes the right thing to do, and sometimes it is not. Knowing when to let someone face consequences is one of the hardest things I have to deal with in my line of work. People constantly want me to take responsibility for their decisions in there life, and while I advise and support I refuse to do it. If I take the responsibility for their life then I become their personal scapegoat. Not only that, if I take responsibility for their life, I take their power from them. This is the opposite of what I intend for the people who come to me. I want to empower not disempower.
So how about you? Are you relinquishing responsibility because you think it is the same as blame? Are you giving up your power to someone else? Are you taking someone's power and not allowing them to take responsibility for their life? Well the best of us have done that. Cut yourself a little slack, and then maybe cut some for your neighbors too. As we look around the world in its brokenness we must learn to put the pieces that are ours back together and cheer on those that do the same, and have patience for those that are not yet ready to do so.
Peace and Blessings,
Friday, January 27, 2017
Well now what a week it has been. It is times like these that I seem to resonate with the words of House Baratheon, "Ours is the fury."
The world has changed. The air is vibrating with new possibilities and potentials. Some of these tangential realities are quite frightening, others have the opportunity to really push forward to a kinder and more sustainable form of civilization. Which ones manifest will depend greatly on how we conduct ourselves.
Entropy is the agent of change. Entropy in this case is the force or processes which breaks systems down. In the biological kingdoms the fungi excel at their use of entropy breaking down waste and converting it to something useable. They are the ultimate recyclers, and up cyclers. Entropy is associated with death and endings, but the flip side is that without it there are no beginnings. Change is stressful and often invokes fear and resistance. Change can also be invigorating and spur growth. Look above at the picture. The green crystal of life's pattern has burst open, broken by the fiery serpent with his tail wrapped at the center of the wheel of the elements. This is kundalini the waking of the secret fire that sleeps within our base nature.
Waking up is not always pleasant. Those of you who use buzzer alarms know this on a visceral level. It is jarring and uncomfortable. Right now many of us are going through an awakening and it is not the gentle kind of slowly rousing to the sound of birdsong. Right now it feels more like the fire alarm going off at 4 AM. That can leave you kind of cranky. I know I am not at my most bright and cheery. Compassion you say? What the hell is that? Fight or flight patterns are being triggered in us. Adrenalin is an effective way to shake you up and get you to pay attention, but it isn't a healthy state to maintain. Kundalini rising is written about with modern new age rose colored glasses these days, but a spontaneous kundalini activation can be dangerous and frightening.
So why am I telling you this? Well world events are quite chaotic right now, and many of us are trying to get our bearings. Structures are being broken and it has created a lot of upset. Many people feel like their hearts are breaking, and yet I see people coming together to support each other. I see more people becoming active participants in the societal structures of our world. What if we saw entropy not as an ending but as a catalyst? What if our hearts weren't being broken, but instead were like eggs, broken open so a new life could be born? What if this apparent darkness moves us to sing back the light? Now I could be wrong, I mean it happened once before. Like I said above what will be manifested will depend on us and how we show up. So ask yourself do I really want what has been the status quo? You may have preferred it to what is being offered up, but you don't have to accept that reality either. If you could change the way the world works what would you like to bring into it? Are you willing to act to bring needed changes? Are you willing to go back to sleep? The Hopi prophecies were right, we are the ones we've been waiting for. Good morning my dears we have a lot to do today.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, January 22, 2017
I hope you had a productive week. This was my first week back at the gym since recuperating from a cold. It's also been a week of meetings and plans being laid. Despite the up in the air feeling that has prevailed for the past two months I may start to nail some things down...for now.
Two weeks ago I had the benefit of working with a friend whose skills I respect highly. I've been doing a lot of personal work to remove blocks and internal struggles within myself the past year or so. What they saw in my energy field this time took them by surprise, a hidden attachment and a broken place in my energetic structure. They'd never been aware of it before and yet it had been there for years. So he gave me some information and then trusted that I could get rid of it on my own. I was excited to get started and went home that night to journey to my teacher. Well the work was done by a master teacher during a shamanic journey. I felt a huge surge of heat and energy as I popped in and out of consciousness during the shamanic trance. I went to bed and the next morning when I awoke I was exhausted. It felt like I hadn't slept in days. This was the day I had planned to start back swimming, but the idea evaporated. I went to teach my class then came home and fell into nap for most of the afternoon. The following day I woke up still tired but not quite as worn out. Still I had a day of teaching, clients, and ceremonies. After my last client of the day I passed out in my chair at my office.
Now my friend had told me that it could take some time for the energetic structure to heal and that I could be tired while it was repairing itself. One of the other side effects I experienced is that I was even more sensitive to energy and people than normal. When I went into teach the first day after the work I was bombarded by the cacophony of people as I entered the gym. All of this was very noticeable to me, but what struck me even more was I had a desperate need for feedback. I wanted to make sure that I had handled the issue right. Even though I didn't do the work a guide did it, I wanted validation that what I had sensed and received was accurate. Now there is nothing wrong with seeking validation and confirmation of psychic information, particularly as you are learning to sense and interpret what it is you are seeing/feeling/hearing. However, the genesis of this particular problem had come about because I had stopped trusting my own senses and started relying on others.
Years ago I was involved in a group of people that were working on growing their psychic and energetic abilities. From early on one of the members cast me as the person in the group with no particular talent. They even joked about it, but it was one of those jokes that cut. I would sense things that they'd do and then they would deny it. They eventually wore down my self esteem and awareness until I became extremely vulnerable and basically couldn't trust my own eyes (or at least my third eye). Keep in mind that up until this time I had considered myself fairly psychically gifted. I had read for people since I was 14 and so I had more than a decade of experience with psychic phenomena at the time. So although I knew I wasn't the most gifted reader in the whole world, I was fairly confident in my ability. That was over though, now I was being gaslighted constantly. Although I eventually escaped from that group with my life, the scars it left took years to heal.
Flash back to this past week. This process of healing was continuing and I was excited about it, and even wanted to talk to other healers in my sphere about it, but above all else a big portion of me was desperate for validation. I was about to ask for it when something clicked into my head, "Wait a minute that's how all this got started." I realized as much as I craved that validation I must not ask for it. I needed to trust my own intuition and guidance otherwise the healing would never really be complete. So this has left me both frustrated and hopeful. Frustrated in that I really want external validation. Hopeful in that if I live a bit with this discomfort a deeper pattern can be transmuted within myself.
We all seek external validation. It's like hard wired into our egos. The problem is that there will never be enough praise and support. Even if we are constantly showered we will continue to need more and more. This becomes even more problematic if we have created our identity externally. Unfortunately most of us have, it's part of our culture and the trend is accelerating. The dark side of social media is the empty feeling we sometimes have that we didn't get enough likes, that our vacation photos aren't as good as our friends' pictures, that we just aren't as successful or happy as those around us. The truth is though, that most of us have that the core of doubt about who we are, and so we are constantly seeking others to tell us who and what we are. We try buying our identity with wardrobes, cars, houses, vacations, and electronic toys. We seek accolades and applause from our peer groups. We worry constantly what others are thinking about us, completely unaware that most of them are worried about the exact same thing. The need for external validation is a black hole that will never be filled. The only thing that can calm it is an internal knowing of who we are, and that takes some discomfort to experience. We have to unplug from that external source and tap in to the source within ourselves. We know who we are, we've just forgotten.
So why am I telling you this? Well you're pretty awesome, but you won't believe me if I tell you that, or if you do that will fade quickly back into your base state of self doubt. No one can tell you who you are. They can reflect back what you are putting out, and the more they know themselves the clearer and more coherent that reflection will be. However until you decide to trust yourself, your feelings, your abilities, and your dreams you won't see that reflection. I'm not saying that you don't deserve to hear what a good job you're doing, we all need encouragement from time to time. Especially when we have fallen down into one of life's challenges. What we do most of the time though is jump from one ego fix to another, just like a heroin junkie. The only difference is we're not injecting a drug, we're injecting people's opinion of ourselves. Here's a hint most people's opinion about you is completely wrong. They just don't have enough data. Why would they know more about you than you do? You spend every minute of every day with yourself. So this week unless you absolutely need an opinion or approval for a work project don't ask for someone else to validate you or what you do. Try it for a week. See how deep the addiction runs. Just become aware, I'd say let me know how you do, but I won't be giving you my feedback either.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, January 15, 2017
I hope you had a pleasant week. We've had several seasons in seven days. There has been a little sun but mostly we've been in the gray haze that tends to define January and February here. I'd been sick the week of new year's and was just starting to come out of it this week with just a bit of tiredness. The dismal overcast days didn't do much for my get up and go though.
January often feels like a nebulous time. The days are longer, but we often don't notice due to the cloud cover. In these dreary days it can be a challenge to get outside and interact with the dozing trees. Winter is the time for long nights and dreams, both of night and the more fleeting daydreams. While we should try and be present in our season those daydreams often have given me some of my greatest inspirations. When the bones of the earth are laid bare with barren branches and the wind drags its claws across a cold land, I see the intricate geometry of nature. It is often in this season I am most in tune with an energy I categorize as elven. What we think of as elves is mostly inspired by Tolkien's work; in his turn he based the elves heavily on the Daione Sidhe. I associate them with guiding nature's hand and crafting wonders inspired by the world of growing things. Now during the spring, summer, and autumn I feel more strongly the energies of what most people think of as faeries.
Yes I am sure the more serious readers out there are tuning out about now. They're thinking, "What gives Mooneagle? What's all this fluff about the fair folk? I thought this was a serious blog for spiritual topics." Well part of the reason I write this blog is to show you I'm a real person. I'm not a guru. I flow with many different types of energies and the one that gave me a big start was my connection to the green realms. I have found these energies have an aura of such awe and sacredness that few churches or temples could match. The energies of our 'good neighbors' are close to my heart. Not only that but I draw on these energies in some of the healing work I do for myself and clients.
One morning this week the wind was up. I had my first day of not needing cold medicine. I slept right through my alarm which is almost unheard of. It was the monthly test of the emergency sirens that finally woke me. The wind had been gusting all through the night bringing with it strange dreams. The normal storm siren sound was being twisted and distorted by the wind. It sounded more like a chorus of unearthly voices wailing. Had I to place it, I would say it sounded what I imagine the cries of the banshee would resemble. The rest of the week settled into a rhythm of deep dreaming and hidden currents of magic running like underground rivers welling up suddenly to stir the events of life. The banshee's cry is often associated with death and mourning, or as a warning that dark and dangerous times are upon us. I don't know what it meant for me personally, although I do know that much of what has been my life will be passing away within a year, and I do see dark times ahead for the world. Still the sound of the wailing winds was familiar and felt like it was reaching out to comfort and engage my spirit. So I am going to feel more into my emotional connection with the near realms of Faery. To me they have always felt like home.
So why am I going on about this to you? Well the world is speaking to you: through the winds, the falling rains and snows, the dance of the tree limbs, and the calls of birds. Maybe you share my love for the green realm, or maybe a different realm calls to you. Maybe the realm of the stars and celestial folk is your heart home. Maybe it is with the denizens of the deep waters. Perhaps the serpentine paths of dragons fires your soul's longing. It could be among the carved icons of saints and within the patterns of stained glass in temples and churches of stone. The sacred is calling to you, quietly singing amidst the din of the distracting world of men. Will you answer that call? Will you sing back? Will you seek for it on strange paths both new and old? The old stories are walking now, the wonders of the world are stirring from their slumber. Will you sing a walking song? I'd suggest you put on your boots, grab a stout stick, wrap yourself warmly, and venture out into the wild world of story. Maybe it will not make your life easier, but it just might make your life richer.
Peace and Blessings,
Saturday, January 7, 2017
Welcome to the new year. Here in the USA we're having this thing called winter. This week gifted me with the first snow of 2017. It wasn't a lot, and the picture above is actually an older one I took several years ago. Our accumulation is much more modest this time around.
Winter is another country. It is dark, it is cold, and it seems forever. Being from the sunshine state originally I've had a hard time adapting to winter. It really curtails my activity. Post holiday blues often hit hard the week after new years. I start thinking about what I am going to do in the spring and summer. This is of course not living in the now. I've learn to tolerate winter but I am still learning to enjoy it. I got a boost Thursday with the snow. The snow fall was that light fluffy stuff, instead of the heavy wet flakes. As I was walking into my morning class, it fell gently in front of me in huge flakes. As it landed on my gloves I got to see the individual snowflakes. They were beautiful. Not every snow falls in a way that you can see that characteristic crystalline pattern, but this one did. Each flake was a delicate flower of white crystal. Each time they fell it was a tiny work of art blessing me.
In shamanism, everything is alive and has a spirit. Snow has a spirit, and from various journeys I can tell you it loves us and it falls in perfect joy. We human beings have a different view of it, especially if we have to shovel a lot of it or be out in it. In ages past snow gave many time to rest. Travel ceased in many places. Life slowed and we turned inwards. These days people either freak out about it, or they ignore it and drive crazy. (Which explains the freaking out part for the rest of us). I myself limit my travel in winter. It is not the time for wandering. I save that for when the southerly and western winds call. When we step back from the pace of modern life we can appreciate the beauty of winter and snow. It blankets the faded ground. It reflects the dim light brightening the world when the sun is scarce. It brings the quiet. Silence settles on the outside as the sound is muffled by the snow. The very air becomes filled with quiet sacredness. It is almost as if Mystery is holding its breath about to utter a great secret. When we rush we risk not only accident, but we risk missing the beauty in the world.
So why am I telling you all this. Well the decorations are mostly down in our homes. The lights have been turned off. We've been surrounded by artificial symbols of beauty and hope. The days can seem dim, and the nights dark and full of terrors. (Yes a Game of Thrones reference I couldn't help it). It is time now to seek that light and beauty in the world around us. How we respond to winter is a testament to our energies. We do not have the abundance of sun and green growing things to buttress our spirits. This is all us right now. Now we must lift our own spirits and the spirits of those around us. It is no accident that so many holidays fall around the darkest part of the year. They are there because we need them to be there. Now, as we move through Winter's country the light we carry will be our own. We are responsible for bringing light into the darkness. We are called to bring warmth into the cold. We are charged with finding the beauty in the bare bones of the land. We are summoned to be compassionate to the creatures of the earth, ourselves included. So bless the snow in its beauty as it falls as it blesses you. Be present in the long nights, for here now in Winter's country the stars are bright.
Peace and Blessings,