Greetings all,
I haven't written in two weeks. This is the first time I've taken a break from the blog since 2013. It was the right decision, and also convenient seeing as how I would have had to borrow a laptop to do it. I am once more plugged in, and I am not sure how I feel about it. I should backtrack a little to give you some context.
I was preparing to co-facilitate a class on Self Sabotage and Spirit Animals. (To be clear the spirit animals were not the cause of the sabotage they were the help). Part of my preparations was a journey to see Sashamama for a healing dismemberment. Yes I realize that last sentence had a lot in it that made no sense, let's start with the who first. Sashamama is the mother serpent of the Amazon, you know her more popularly as Anaconda. In the South American medicine wheel she is the Guardian of the South. She teaches us to shed our past as she sheds her skin. Okay introductions done, now you are probably wondering about a healing dismemberment, how can being dismembered ever be a good thing? Well in shamanism when an animal eats you in a journey it is considered a healing. They are taking you apart so that you can be restructured, they can make you better, faster, stronger, and less of an asshole. I have had many such dismemberments in the past ten years as I have taken my trainings. In fact if I hadn't had a dismemberment in more than six months I get to it, otherwise it will happen in dreamtime. That is not pleasant for anybody. The spirit has to chase me down, and I'm quite fast in the dream realms. If they do catch me I will physically feel the sensation of being ripped apart and wake up still feeling it for a second or two. That little side effect makes me a bit more proactive in journeying.
It had been a while, and I knew that I needed Sashamama's help for this class. Here's the sticky point, I've never been dismembered by any serpent before. I am afraid of snakes in ordinary reality. Remember what I said about me being fast in the dream realms. Mama Anaconda has tried to catch me before, but she never did. So I went into this journey knowing it would be a bit uncomfortable. When her mouth opened to swallow me I had to close my spirit's eyes and pretend I was in a wet sleeping bag. I went in and she shat me out. Did I forget to mention how glamorous shamanism can be kids? So with the dismemberment done she agreed to help the participants for the class. They would all be getting a taste of that snaky love bite.
All was going well, I did my weekly prayer ceremony mailed it off, and then the computer crashed. I ran some diagnostics and rebooted and all was fine so I went home for supper. After supper I was in for a shock, the computer wouldn't boot. So the next day I took it to the Mac repair place. Monday afternoon I received a call that the video card failed, but I couldn't get it repaired because it was a vintage model (Apple's term for anything more than 5 years old). So I had to buy a new computer and they wanted close to a thousand more than what I paid for the previous one to get similar capabilities. So after I leveled every curse in the tongues, of elves, men, and hobbits I set out on a quest for a new computer. This quest took twelve days.
Twelve days I was cast forth from the digital realm, only touching it on occasion with borrowed time on another's window to the blogosphere. In this time out of time I found myself meditating more, practicing yoga and tai chi for longer periods, getting to bed earlier, and with plenty of time to get where I needed to be without rushing. Digital distractions had been eating away at my moments of life for a while, but it had gotten pretty bad. I had begun to sanitize my Facebook feed and declutter, but it wasn't enough. The computer was always on, in part because I had this fear of it failing if I turned it off (self fulfilling prophecy). With it always online, any little thought to check messages or see a video took me away from real life and sucked me into digital fantasy land. So Sashamama ate the element of self sabotage. It was a great lesson, but a very expensive one. Truth is with a business I really have to have a computer. However when this new one arrived I was wary of it. I have turned it off every evening and waited until after I've gotten things done in the day to turn it on. This time I am trying to use it responsibly without the addictive behavior I'd developed prior. I am hoping twelve days was enough to retrain the patterns.
Why am I telling you this? Well as I look around the world, I see people consumed by their tech. Running around to find charge ports to service its needs, they have become the servant and the machine the master. We are only given so much time on this earth, and many of us are wasting it on phones rather than friends. Rather than sit with our feelings we feed our impulses to escape any uncomfortable moments. I'm not saying we should never numb ourselves or let ourselves be entertained, but it is clear to me that my life was suffering due to my imbalanced relationship with my technology.
So ask yourself? Am I subservient to my tech? Do I dodge human interaction, trading it for a digital facsimile? Do I get sucked into digital quizzes promising to tell me who I am? Am I losing sleep surfing through youtube how to videos? Do I feel a pull on my attention every few minutes to check in and see if something is happening someplace else? Well if you answered yes you may need Mama Anaconda's help too, just make sure you back up your data before you enlist her expertise.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
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