Mindset and Timing

 Greetings all,

It's been a long time coming. The past few years has seen me blogging less and less. My focus has shifted inward since 2019. For those 10s of people that actually still read blogs I should put this in context.  At the end of 2018 my last grandparent died. They were 98 at the time so it was not unexpected, in fact I had been given a heads up the summer before that they would be passing in the winter. I often told people it would have been greedy to ask for more time. Still it was a huge adjustment. I spent most of 2019 trying to grieve and rebalance and see what I wanted to do. When 2020 hit I was planning to finally expand and take my business to the next level. I was scheduled to teach a workshop in Manhattan in May of 2020...well we all know what happened next.

When covid hit I withdrew from the world. I mean most of us did. (Some delusional people refused to alter their lives at all). I was let go from most of my teaching jobs, and I wasn't able to see clients.  My income fell to almost nothing. I was completely isolated for over a year. I literally went almost a year and half without a single hug or human touch of any kind. Amidst all of this there was a level of political turmoil not seen since the civil war. When I finally emerged  and returned to teaching in person classes I was greeted with a staggering amount of loss. At least a dozen of my students and contacts had died, and those are just the ones I know about. 

So during this time a lot of folks were telling me to not be sad to stay positive and work on my mindset. This was the time they said to go out there and create transformation. That didn't go over well with me. I was in grief mode and was being told that those emotions were invalid. Concurrently all of my guides had me in a holding pattern.  I checked every few months after new developments and was always told the same thing, "WAIT."  So I waited, and waited, and waited. I waited for over 2 years. It is only really this year where I have been green lit to get out into the world and resume some of my activities. 

Magic, healing, and transformation techniques can do many things. You can bend reality more than you think. What you can't do is bend the whole world because it doesn't line up with your wants and needs. Lots of the inspirational posts people would use to try and shame me into acting spiritual (in other words smiling and ignoring the shit show that the world had become) really got under my skin.  I ended up having to reject all that and in some ways distance myself from my own power. It had after 2 and half years become pretty ingrained. I stopped trying to make anything happen for me, I stopped even thinking that anything could be good for me again. This was actually helpful at the time; it was a survival mechanism. It kept me safe during uncertain times.  

I don't want to you to think that the pandemic ruined my life.  While it took away with one hand it gifted me with the other. My creativity returned in a way I hadn't seen in years. My work in the studio progressed more in those 2 years than it had in over a decade. I started writing again (obviously not in my blog) and I am close to having a first draft of my first book of short stories set in a world that I created.  I became more savvy about live-streaming and teaching remotely. More importantly covid showed me what I really valued by its absence from my life. 

I'd been following my guidance to wait, but then when I came out of that even though I was working, I wasn't doing things for me. I wasn't allowing myself to dream of what I would like.  I had become accustomed to not getting what I want. This summer I began testing the waters. My guides finally stopped telling me to wait when I asked about my plans. I traveled to see friends and teach a workshop and it went great.  I've made more plans to teach workshops and expand out again. I recently had my first craft night since the before times, and I started swimming again. I am connecting with others and it is like water in the desert. 

Mindset does matter. It just didn't matter in the way the 'positive vibes only crowd' said it did. Mindset cannot change the world.  It only change how you relate to it, and more importantly how you relate to it has to change depending on the state of the world. You can't affirm a hurricane away or visualize the tide not coming in. You can't help but lose people in your life. It's the nature of our journey, every hello is also a goodbye some day. When covid was still just a news story about a virus in China, I remember getting together with some energy practitioners to see if we could shift the energy. Each of us got told something like, "Make your peace with it, this is happening."  

Why am I telling you all this?  Well I am coming to a place in life where I have to balance acceptance of what is, with using my abilities to get what I want. It is time to dream again while acknowledging the world and my place in it. I am having to learn when to use my energy and when to realize it isn't happening and stop wasting effort. Timing matters, there is a time be a go getter and a time to just vegetate and let others run around in circles. I might add it is not an easy lesson it requires a much less rigid mindset and temperament than I currently exhibit.  Still it is important because without this balance we can spend our lives wishing for what could be instead of exploring the riches in what is around us. 

So how about you?  Have you found the balance between making a life and accepting what comes your way? Have you forsaken your dreams at the cost of joy?  Have you abandoned all sense of shared reality for a delusion of desire?  Either ends of this spectrum is fine to pass through, but a terrible place to make your home. Be kind to yourself and others as you recalibrate your life path.  

Peace and Blessings,

Thomas Mooneagle