The Giving of Thanks

Greetings all,

For those of you in USA I hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving filled with fun, family, friends, and feasting. For many years now I have enjoyed Thanksgiving more  than Christmas.  It has all the benefits such as good food and coming together without all the hassle and worry over shopping and presents.  The biggest challenge is to not talk politics with relatives as you sit around the turkey table.

I won't lie this year has been a hard one to focus on counting my blessings,  I've lost good people and have other loved ones whose health is failing.  This has also not been a great year to be a liberal or one who cares about the environment.  I see so much destruction going on in the world, and looking forward I see a long stretch of time where much that was beautiful in this world will cease to be.  I see a darkness ahead for us, and yet I have seen beyond it too.  Not all that is fair will fade.  We are coming into the night lands for a bit.

Now is the time when giving thanks is most important.  It is too easy to see what is wrong with our world both on a personal and a global level. Gratitude is a practice, and if you think you have nothing to be grateful for and you are reading this then you are wrong.  For starters you can read, many people in this world cannot.  You also have power or access to a charging station unlike millions of other people who live without electricity.  You are more than likely not starving.  There is someone out there who cares deeply for you, even if you don't know it.  We live in a world where information is literally at our fingertips, almost the whole breadth of human knowledge is just a google search away.

So if you're worried about the world I have a list of things to be thankful for:  solar roofs are going to be an actual thing, you can learn how to do just about anything on Youtube, we are living in one of the most peaceful eras in history, spices are as cheap as they ever have been in history, the up and coming generations are some of the most inclusive and diversity positive people ever,  the next generation is also more eco-conscious, Netflix, and there are millions of people dedicating their lives to tackling the world's most pressing problems.

So in this season of doubt and uncertain futures I advise you to hold close to those you love.  Gather with people of like mind and heart.  Build a fire against the darkness.  Keep your heart warm with the glow of hope.  Above all be thankful for each breath.



Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Control Freak

Greetings all,

Well today has been exciting!  I drove up to Cincinnati to speak at the Victory of Light Expo.  Up and back in one day is quite a little trip.  I was surprised to see a line for my talk, pleasantly surprised and then of course I thought, "I probably should have prepared a bit more for this."  The thing is it is about a topic I know well.  For me it is always about the Q & A, that's when I really loosen up and bring up my knowledge base; it seems like I don't know what I know until I am asked a question.

All that aside, the past few weeks I've come to a few realizations about myself and how I move through the world.  The big issue coming down the pipeline has been CONTROL.  I just seem to have this addiction to it.  As I have been noticing my posts on Facebook and the comment wars that have gone on this past year (to little effect except a smaller friend list and larger block list), I notice that I am really wanting to control people's experiences.  Now this isn't just about political disagreements, most times it is about how people experience me.  I fret over how people are going to receive my services.  I want them to have a "good" experience, or more likely I really want to blow their socks off.  I want them to have an enjoyable experience so that they'll tell their friends and I'll have more clients, which means more people's experiences to worry over.  The thing is I am not in control.  I never have been, I sometimes just mistakenly think that I am.

This freaking out about control extends out into everything. Changing plans can really throw a wrench into my internal state.  Hiccups, detours, and outright wrong turns can quickly lead me down a dark mental path.  The irony is the more I try to control situations or other people, the less self control I seem to be able to muster.  This is a long time issue for me.  For years I just sort of floated along and didn't do much as far as directing my life.  I had tried making plans before and they were always smashed into a million pieces.  So after a point I stopped looking ahead, I stopped making plans at all.  In some ways it was freeing, but it was also a trap.  I wasn't getting anywhere.  So I started to try and "direct" things.   This worked only slightly better than floating along.  Now I find myself blocking what could come because I want to control how it shows up.  What to do?  Just going along with everything didn't vastly improve my life, and trying to micromanage just makes me crazy and exhausted.   I need a reset.

So recently I started watching a show called "Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency."  It is bizarre, it is out there and kooky, and so of course I'm in love with it.  The wacky coincidences and insane bending of probabilities to serve story and the characters is just what I needed.  So I have been thinking I need to cultivate a bit of Dirk's outlook.  His main idea is that the universe will take him where he needs to go.  I have begun reminding myself, "The universe will take me where I need to go."  Today it took me to the lost and found because I had left my phone on the podium at my lecture.  Why it took me there, I don't know, but I must have needed to go there.  The thing is this way of operating is not so different as to how I approach session work.  When someone works with me they may have an idea of what they want to focus on, and we may indeed go right to that.  However many times I am led off in a completely different direction.  This happens all the time so much so that I have said, "I promise you I can deliver weird, other than that we'll have to see about."  That doesn't mean I don't address what people are wanting or needing, it just means that I am open to going someplace else.  I love when a session takes an unexpected turn, it really comes alive for me then. 

So why am I telling you this?  Well do you have a death grip on the wheel of your life?  Are you so busy trying to manage everyone and their experience that there is no room for joy for yourself?  Are you driving yourself  crazy trying to keep things rolling along according to plan?  Well sunshine, join the club and take a number because we all need help with this one.  What if you had goals rather than plans?  What if you allowed some space in your plans for flexibility and room to breathe?  What if you developed that perfect synergy of responding to life's serendipitous treats, and charting your course?  So basically have a plan, but be open to what life is showing you.  Don't be afraid to reroute and take in a few of the scenic loops.  If you start to think you finally have things under control, it may be time to step away from the wheel, because in my experience that's when the car is about to go over a cliff.  Buckle up my friends, because things are about to get weird.

Peace and Blessings,

Thomas Mooneagle

Sacred Other

Hello Sweetie,

Yes I know a bit different from my normal greeting.  I'm a fan of Dr. Who and one of my favorite characters is Dr. River Song.  It's her signature greeting, at the most unexpected instances.  She's fearless and always trouble.

Speaking of trouble, this has been a very anxiety provoking week.  Elections here in the USA have never in my memory been this dramatic.  This post will not be about what I think of the winner, (you can guess that by skimming through my Facebook feed) but rather what it has taught me.  For those of you who don't get why some of your friends are so grief stricken I will briefly sum this up.  The president-elect ran a campaign based on fear of the other.  Many of those people fit into that nebulous other category.  I fit in that other category.  I practically am a whole category of other all by my lonesome.  Although you can stop by my category anytime for a visit.

Let's talk about fear.  According to Yoda, "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering." We are taught to be normal.  Stay within the lines.  Act like the other kids.  This is part of socialization, but we tend to go a little bit overboard with it.  We are not a homogenous society we have many different cultures more or sometimes less represented.  Whenever we don't fit into what is defined as "normal" there is a societal backlash.  Now some things merit that like: serial killers, pedophiles, and people who butter their plates in a buffet line (you know someone has to use their hand to remove that, it won't rinse off you deviant slob)!  Many times we treat any "other" category with that same level of disgust.  (FUCKING PLATE BUTTERERS)!

As I said above I am "other".  Those that have met me know this.  I mean it's all up in my energy field.  From the way I interact, to the way I look at a problem, I'm just not your typical guy.  For this reason people have projected a lot of fear and hatred onto me over the years.  Nothing major mind you, just a few physical assaults, death threats, identity theft, and public humiliation. In my work, the "other" that I am comes in handy.  You could even say sometimes your life could depend on that otherness.  Yet I have tried to tone it down.  I don't want to startle the local inhabitants after all.  I don't want to inspire fear, and indeed there are times where I am the person you call to soothe and brush away fears.  Still after this week I've been thinking I may be soothing too much of my power away.  I am other.  Not only that I am a trickster.  I wasn't quite sure which kind until today.  I am the Sacred Other.  I am the unknown quality, the wildcard, the undefinable who changes from predictable to chaotic when it suits.  In short, I have come to trouble your courts and councils.  I have come to wake you up at night, what's that sound....it's me being different.  Do I frighten you?  Well if I do that's good, and if I don't that's good too.  I can be terrific or I can be terrifying, it just depends on what you're holding.  I am here to shake your paradigm to its core, not by preaching, not by force, but simply by being.  For some I am the beneficent Faery Godfather to others I am the Bogeyman.  The only difference is you.  So I think I am going to stop toning it down and instead pump up the volume so we can all dance.

So what about you?  What secret little "other" bits have you sanded down over the years or set aside? Afraid of scaring the villagers when they see you?  Perhaps you are one of those who I frighten, well take heart you get used to it.  I'm not here to hurt you.  I'm here for you to see something different and learn that it won't hurt you.  I may change you, but everything changes you.  Time, experience, relationships, educations, employment, parenthood, and the list goes on, all of these things change you.  So be you.  Be that Sacred Other that only you can be.  Stand up for the others you encounter.  We must work to gather the others and when we do we'll find that we are together.  I am a trickster, I am the Sacred Other, and maybe you are too.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Messages on Foot

Greetings all,

I hope you had a festive week.  It's been a week of celebrations and messages.  Halloween and Day of the Dead are holidays that have a special place for me.  I have had very powerful experiences at this time of year.  These holidays are the mirror of Beltane, both are times when the veils between the worlds are thin.  However at this time the veil between the lands of the dead is the thinnest. May Eve on the other hand has its veil the thinnest between here and the fair lands of faery.

There are points in the year which just have a certain magical energy about them.  There is a change in the air as the angle of the sun's light transitions into the darker months.  Even with unseasonably warm weather I felt the wind swirling about me and beckoning with promises of mysteries as I practiced my forms outside this week.  Halloween night I didn't have anything planned for once.  I was scheduled for my evening class, but I wasn't surprised when no one showed up.  The whole gym was fairly deserted that evening.  So I went home early.  I was restless.  These points of power on the calendar always make me feel as if I should be out "doing" something with the excess energy.  So a little after eleven I decided to go for an evening walk.  The trick or treaters had long since retired.  The jack-o-lanterns were all extinguished, there was a slight chill in the air more akin to late fall, and several of the streetlights had burned out.

I often walk at night.  For one thing in the summer it is the only time it is cool enough to do so.  I often will call up a friend and put in my headset as I wander the roads and sidewalks.  So I am no stranger to the paths around my neighborhood.  This night felt different, it seemed everyone was hunkered down and shut in form the night, or what lurked there.  Although the only lurking thing was me, mwahaha!  As I turned the corner I encountered a pair of deer in someone's front yard.  I stopped and looked at them, and they looked at me.  Neither of us moved for a minute, and then they got the look in their eyes that said, "Fuck a human!" After that they bounded off across the street.  I was quite startled.  I've seen deer around here before when I've been driving, but I have never gotten that close to them on foot.  I've never run across them when I've been out walking, and I have walked at all hours of the night.  (Insomnia is at times my ardent mistress).  It felt special, and it happened again on my way back.  I was pretty sure it was important.

 In the shamanic paradigm animals all have gifts and messages.  My teacher would say, "You should journey on that."  So of course the first thing I did was to pick up Animal Speak by Ted Andrews and look up deer.  The keywords were gentleness and innocence, and the luring to new adventures.  Sounds good right.  I'd also had heard from various stories that deer medicine was about compassion.  These past few months I've been working at healing some deep level heart wounds, so their appearance seemed to be a nod towards my efforts.  I did eventually journey to see what messages they had for me, and it was profound (no I'm not sharing it with you because it was a private journey).

Animal encounters are always intriguing.  They connect us with the other.  We share this world with many intelligences some more familiar and others less.  Yet when we meet our neighbors up close it is a very heightened experience.  It can also be a potentially dangerous one.  Yet when we come through unscathed something within us is touched and changed by the encounter.  There is a connection that we share with our cousins in fur and feathers.  We often try to ignore these connections or put ourselves in some sort of hierarchical order above our animal cousins, but we share a lot and when we disassociate with the animal within us we lose a large portion of our power.

So why am I telling you this?  Well animals are all around us and they can be very effective messenger carriers for spirit.  Opening up to our cousins can help us feel more connected to the world at large.  They help ground us and keep us focused in the present.  Many who have anxiety around other people are completely relaxed around animals (well some animals, perhaps not spiders or polar bears).  More importantly cultivating our awareness and relationship to other animals fosters our sense of being part of nature.  One of the drawbacks of many of our cultural programs is that we see ourselves as outside of nature, or as rational beings.  All of you with families out there know exactly how rational we are in practice.  So I suggest we observe, and pay attention to the animals around us.  See what they're up to, and how they react to us.  They may have a message or they may just remind you of that wild thing you have lurking within.  Let the wild out, howl at the moon, dance through life, and pay heed to our "other" relatives.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle