A Year of

Greetings all,

I hope you've had a peaceful holiday season so far.  We are coming into the zero hour soon.  What can I say about 2016?  This was a year of tumultuousness and loss.  I left a job after over eight years, I lost two friends to cancer, we lost many icons and heroes, and we had the grittiest nasty presidential campaign season that I remember in my lifetime.  (Complete with future moron in chief).

I know many people this year that have had great difficulties, far greater than my own.  The people out at Standing Rock have put their bodies on the line to safeguard the water for everyone.  They have gathered people of all nations and creeds to a small camp to help protect the earth.  This along with the forgiveness ceremony for army veterans that took place gave me hope this year.  There is much in the world that seems to be going down a dark and dangerous path lately, but the human spirit and heart can still shine through and bring us back from the brink.  This is something I have to dedicate my belief to, because to abandon that is to champion despair and to simply give up.  Giving up doesn't sit well with me.

As I have gone through the trials and losses of this year I have had a constant source of strength and comfort in my weekly ceremony of prayer.  Pictured above is the very last prayer ceremony of 2016, the focus this week was to lay down the burdens and losses of the year to embrace the new one coming in.  It's been about 3 full years and a few months since I began devoting some time each Friday to send out prayers to my community and certain clients.  The longer I do this the more powerful it seems to be for me.  There have been times when I am shaking my rattle and tears are pouring down my face as I pray.  Those ceremonies where I just break seem to be some of the most powerful ones, or the ones where I am just so beaten down and spent that it is all that I can do to just show up and shake that rattle.  Those times when I just show up because it is all I have can turn into some of the most empowering and sustaining prayers I've ever uttered.  Woven together in my practice are the powers of intention and surrender.  These two poles are not in contention but harmony with one another.  You can't fully surrender without an intent, and you can't really give your intent the power it needs unless you completely surrender.  This is one of the things keeping a regular practice of prayer and ceremony has taught me, and as I continue into another year of ceremony I expect that lose lessons will deepen along with all the other ones that have come out of commitment.

So why am I telling you this?  Well many of you have expressed interest in doing what I do or something similar.  You ask me how did I make it work? Well doing all the sensible things like reading, studying, practicing, setting up my business, getting trained in various backgrounds of consciousness work will only take you so far.  You have to go a bit farther and dedicate yourself to service.  Like anything worthwhile it takes a level of commitment and effort.  I knew I needed to show up for Spirit on a regular basis.  It had to be something I could do if I was tired, sick, or just plain not in the mood.  Believe me I have been sick as a dog and still got my rattle out and shook it as long as I could to honor my promises.  I have been so exhausted that it nearly brings tears to my eyes to think about opening my mesa.  Which is why some weeks the mesa stays closed sometimes by its request, and sometimes by my lack of energy to set it up.  When I began there was no weekly focus just an intent to send out blessings.  I'm not sure exactly when the weekly focus started, but somehow it is always right.  Some weeks it is clear and some weeks it takes a lot to puzzle it out.  A lot of times it is simply something I realize I need and amazingly my group of participants seem to need the exact same blessing.  It has taught me that we are not so different.

So for those of you looking for an anchor or a way to empower yourselves and community I invite you to create your own ceremonies.  They don't have to look like mine.  They don't have to be weekly, maybe you can only commit to once a month.  That's ok, maybe you want to outdo the Mooneagle and do one everyday, well that's awesome (showoff)!  The important thing is to bring forth that promise of service and share it with your community (whether that is your local community or your extended one from far flung regions, prayers need no frequent flier miles).  Be creative and put yourself into your prayers otherwise they are meaningless utterances of sound in an indifferent universe.  When you merge your spirit with your prayers they come alive in a world of portent and meaning.  In this coming year of great change and uncertainty don't just seek a refuge in prayer create a refuge for others to share in.  Meanwhile happy new year and enjoy a slideshow of 2016's year of prayers.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Waking Dreams in the Still Dark

Greetings all,

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!  I write this early Christmas morning post.  I am tired, but in that good way.  Between the rush of making last minute gifts, this week's two ceremonies, and the arrival of a new puppy it's been quite the dash.

I got to hold my annual winter solstice drumming ceremony in the Louisville Salt Cave (thanks ladies for hosting me)!  I knew this was going to be an especially powerful ceremony months ago I dreamed of drumming in a cave and the phoenix came down to listen.  In the dream there were 4 drummers who would battle the dark.  The dream took shape at the last minute with the lead drummers in each of the 4 directions.  My teacher held the North, two more friends held West and East, but I was flustered when I couldn't find my South.  Everyone I looked at the choice seemed forced and I finally surrendered and became South myself.  This in retrospect was just as it should have been in my dream I was one of the 4 warriors battling the dark.  More things fell into place that I could not have planned.  A man came who sang us a Hopi song at the opening and he had a personal story to share about the phoenix.  As we drummed we all became quite hot in the normally cool cave environment.  The dim warm earthlight of salt lamps was very womblike and above sparkling lights hinted of stars.  We had the best of both the upper and lower worlds.  We had three rounds of drumming and all of us were quite spent by the end of the ceremony.  

I had been seeking power to create the changes for myself, my loved ones, my community, my country,  and my clients.  The ceremony just about blew all our socks off, but I cannot take credit for that.  It was the group and spirit.  My contribution was to listen to my dreams and to just follow along without trying to control it.  As I was setting up I could hear people meeting and introducing themselves, coming together in fellowship.  They were truly enjoying the get together and that made me very happy to be part of bringing that good will together.  It went beyond the scope of the dream, and I know the changes are still working through me and others.  I felt quite raw physically and emotionally in the aftermath.  At the winter solstice we honor the North, the place of ancestors, teachers, and death.  The phoenix lent us its cleansing fire that both destroys and renews.

So why am I telling you this?  Well whether or not you celebrate the solstice or not we all come to a place of death in our lives.  According to the Wandering Oracle, "Poor is the man who dies only once in his life."  All of us die many times in life.  When we leave school (hopefully due to graduation) the formal student identity dies.  When we leave a job that employment identity dies.  When we leave a relationship our identity as a couple dies.   From the ashes of those past identities we have the opportunity to rise anew, bright and shining.  Sometimes it is joyous and sometimes sorrowful, but we rise transformed out of the darkness of our the death of our former selves.  

So as past memories arise this holiday season to either trouble or delight you ask yourself what needs to die within  your life so that new life can rise up.  What relationships should be on the pyre?  What activities or habits should be your kindling?  What action will light the spark to burn away all that is no longer who you are? Be well in this between time of Christmas and New Years.  We stand in a doorway ready to cross into uncharted realms.  You carry within you the fuel to light the way.

Peace and Blessings,

Thomas Mooneagle

Winter Words

Greetings all,

It took a while but it seems winter has finally landed here, or we have landed in winter.  Being originally from South Florida I find this time of the year especially challenging.

I've lived a good portion of my life now in a place where winter is part of the cycle.  As a child in Florida temperatures in the low 60s and 50s was winter.  Many of the trees didn't even lose their greenery.  When we moved I experienced snow as part of my reality for the first time.  The length of the days also varied so much more.  I found myself cold for a good portion of the year.  This was due to do the fact that I really didn't have winter clothes.  I had no clue how to dress for it and really didn't have the proper attire until the last few years.  Some people think me fanatical about all the layers I wear and the lengths I go to so that I am warm but my body does not tolerate cold well, and being cooped up inside tends to lend itself to depression in my case.

So we approach the winter solstice now, the long night of the year.  We are in the heart of winter's country.  I will of course drum at the height of the dark to welcome back the light.  I also have the advantage of being involved with a shamanic weather circle where we seek to receive teachings from weather and better build relationships with it.  This time we went to speak to the spirit of winter.

The spirit of winter looked very much to me like the picture above except a bit more transparent.  I asked what would serve me best to release at the solstice; it told me I should release the idea that I am special.  (I should point out that shamanism pulls no punches when it comes to your ego).  That stung a little bit.  Winter went on to say that I cradle my personal hurts and wounds and think that those things make me special, but they really don't.  Many people share similar hurts, and I am not that different.  Still the cold logic remained to the observation.  In our culture we like to think of ourselves as great individuals.  There is also a widespread belief that to be happy and successful (and perhaps loved) we need to be special and stand out.  This apparently is false according to winter.

I've often felt that there are many people more skilled than I am.  I've felt like there are many who are more naturally psychically gifted than I am too.  So the whole "I'm not special" thing really stings.  The thing is though maybe someone is more gifted, talented, or "special" than I am, but I am the one showing up to do the work.  In some of the Discworld books by the late author Terry Pratchett there is a character called Casanunda.  He's a dwarf whose business card says "World's second greatest lover...we try harder....stepladders for sale."  He is quite persistent and pops up comically several times to save the day and even get the girl (well I use the term girl loosely she was more a geriatric witch with a rather lascivious outlook).  As funny as it is though I think I can relate to Casanunda.  I've never thought of myself as the best at anything and so I've often defined myself by what I lack.  This will not serve me going forward.  I need to define myself by what I love.

So why am I rambling on about my own insecurities?  Well my fellow winter travelers, I am quite sure you have a few insecurities of your own.  You may think that nobody knows the troubles you've seen and nobody knows your sorrows.  Well sorry to break it to you, but your pain is probably not all that unique. However you are a unique being.  What you love and what lights you up and what you do with that is all you.  You don't have to be the best or "special" to matter.  That's what winter was telling me and now I'm telling you.  You are a facet of creation, a twinkling light in a vast cosmos of awe and wonder.  You are one of many and you still matter.  So this season let go of your martyrdom monogrammed towels.  Step away from your sorrows and their insistence that they give you your identity.  We are more than our wounds and our words.  We are the breath of life being human in this time and place.  Here in Winter's country let us bring warmth into its heart.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

The Gift

Greetings all,

It's been a full week.  I had unexpectedly taught an extra class this week and had two holiday parties. So I've been running around.  Still I have a hard time getting into the holiday spirit this year.  I'm still reeling from the political fallout of the fall, and to be honest a year of letting go of a lot of routines.  So I'm kind of looking for the gift in all this.

I try not to be too political with my blogposts, but I find it increasingly hard to avoid this topic.  I've followed the events of the Standing Rock Sioux tribe and the Water Protectors very closely.  I've followed the list of appointments into the next president's cabinet.  All around me I see intolerance, bigotry, and ignorance being celebrated as great virtues.  The shapes of energies that are falling together show me quite a dark future for the planet.  I see more destruction of habitat, the poisoning of our water, air, and lands.  I see blood demanded for those that serve, for the profits of billionaires who just want more for themselves and less for everyone else.  I see poverty spreading, famine, pestilence, and death riding high upon the backs of those who have the least, and risk the most.  I see all this amidst the glitz and glamour of presidential pageantry.  So I'm not very merry.  I don't have it to warm my heart as they year grows cold.  I like everybody get down.  I used to think it might be depression, but I realized quite late in my development it was that I had awful people around me (at the time).  Right now I can't think of any reason why the events of the world wouldn't depress me.

I have thought of just checking out; living in the moment oblivious to the world around me, but I just can't do that.  I am connected via this web of life and internet.  I have thought of leaving this land of my birth, but I can't do that either.  (It is hard to relocate internationally).  Even if I could somehow secure residency elsewhere it would mean leaving the people I care for behind.  Still I did look into it and even had the offer of a job and place to stay in Canada should the need arise.  You see I remember history classes and the climate in the US right now is similar to Nazi Germany.  So as hard as it might be I may have to do it someday.  Yes the Mooneagle has actually considered the fact that he may be a political refugee, just let that sink in.

One of my teachers always said there is a gift in every situation.  Well I'm looking around for it and it has been hard to spot.  I think the problem though was that I was looking for that gift outside myself. I have been made more aware of who my neighbors are, and what they really think.  I have found out through Facebook posts and comments just how compassionate (or not) the people in my network are.  I've become aware that I need an evacuation plan, and that may one day save my life.  Still it is a bitter gift.  Knowledge earned is not always a cause for celebration.  I realize in all of this that what I choose to do is going to matter.  I can't just check out emotionally or physically from the situation.  I did that the day after the election and my family descended into fights which seemed to come out of left field.  We never know our impact on others until we withdraw our energies.  The sad thing is they often don't know either.

So dear reader I must apologize.  I try my best to be insightful and uplifting, but this week I just can't manage it.  Christmas is not my favorite holiday and brings its own emotional baggage, but this year it is the straw and I seem to be the camel in this metaphor.  I would ask that you consider what gifts are open to you right now?  Which ones do you have to share?  What has been revealed to you and how can you use that knowledge to best serve yourself and your community?  I'll lift from winter shadows eventually, hopefully ready to fight on, and I earnestly hope you'll be there standing with me.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

A flight of birds

Greetings all,

I hope you enjoyed your week.  Mine was full of creativity, so in all it was a good week.  I'm working in my studio again and it is like waking up.  Oddly enough this awakening has also led to deeper dreams while I am asleep.  As I'm making art again I'm paying more attention to the world around me.

Here you see a flight of birds, or what is called a murmuring.  That is the name given to the way that flocks of birds seem to move as one entity in flight.  It is an everyday miracle.  Most of us don't even notice it.  We go about our days filled with to do lists, texts, emails, and Facebook.  We rarely look up whether it is at the moon above or to the flight of birds overhead.  Whether it is by natural inclination, the training I have gone through, or simply Fate (ah yes my old mistress), I look up.  I notice.  I listen.

The winds of the worlds blow whether we are aware of them or not, and with each breath a new story unfolds upon the earth.  The birds mind the wind for it is like the ocean is to a fish.  They navigate it by necessity, and yet I believe they also luxuriate in the freedom of flight.  These past few weeks my attention has continually been drawn to the birds and the winds.  As I left the gym and walked back to my car yesterday I heard their voices in the boughs above, hundreds of tiny voices singing out to each other.  They took off in several groups each a murmuring of movement on the wind.  I knew deep down in that moment that they were speaking as sure as I write these words to you.  They were communicating in their own secret tongue.  What does one bird say to another I wondered?  What are they all so excited about?  What are the crows saying in their cawing?

For some reason in the past few centuries human beings have come under the delusion that we are the only species who talk.  Maybe it is because we feel out done by so many species in physical prowess.  Maybe it is because as we have plundered more of the world we needed an excuse to put us above our animal cousins.  All cultures around the world all have stories where the animals talk. It can't be a coincidence.  There have been times when I have been sure an animal has given me a message clear as day.  I'm not suggesting they are hiding troves of unpublished novels, but I do think we do nature a disservice when we dismiss their vocalizations as just noise.

Part of my thing is to recognize the magic in the world and to reawaken that sense in others.  I used to think it was to bring back magic that had been lost, but I now realize it was never lost just ignored.  We don't pay attention to magic just like we have lost the voice of the birds and the wind.  We live in a cold world of flesh and matter where words are skewered into contracts rather than promises.  Words are pinned down on a page or a screen but not uttered.  How many times have you witnessed a group of people gathered together in silence with their faces lit by the screens of their phones while they ignore the souls around them?  They are deaf to the world and so their heart cannot see the magic in the world. They have forgotten the language of the birds and beasts.  They have forgotten the wind's song.

Why am I telling you this?  Well what I call magic, you might call wonder, or excitement in the tapestry of life.  I'm sure some of my friends who are secular humanists get this sense of awe even if they don't believe in magic.  That sense of pattern and meaning within the world is important.  It shows us the hidden relationships within the web of being.  The world renowned mycologist Paul Stamets has stated that he believes that nature has a language and is speaking to us.  What might it say to us?  The answer to that question or at least the seeking of the answer may have profound impact on not just our own lives but those of all the world's inhabitants and their descendants.

So what about you? Have you seen the flights of birds whirling with the winds of changing seasons?  Have you heard their voices and wondered at the secrets of their songs?  Do you notice the interplay of the limbs of the trees, their dreaming roots, and all who nest between?  Do you read the patterns in the path of their whispered winged ways?  Do they tell of things that are, things that were, or some things that have yet come to be?  It is said by some that the birds can see the wind just as we see the wake and waves of the sea.  Think of what stories it has for them.  Stretch your ears and your heart to the sky and see if any word comes to you.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

The Giving of Thanks

Greetings all,

For those of you in USA I hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving filled with fun, family, friends, and feasting. For many years now I have enjoyed Thanksgiving more  than Christmas.  It has all the benefits such as good food and coming together without all the hassle and worry over shopping and presents.  The biggest challenge is to not talk politics with relatives as you sit around the turkey table.

I won't lie this year has been a hard one to focus on counting my blessings,  I've lost good people and have other loved ones whose health is failing.  This has also not been a great year to be a liberal or one who cares about the environment.  I see so much destruction going on in the world, and looking forward I see a long stretch of time where much that was beautiful in this world will cease to be.  I see a darkness ahead for us, and yet I have seen beyond it too.  Not all that is fair will fade.  We are coming into the night lands for a bit.

Now is the time when giving thanks is most important.  It is too easy to see what is wrong with our world both on a personal and a global level. Gratitude is a practice, and if you think you have nothing to be grateful for and you are reading this then you are wrong.  For starters you can read, many people in this world cannot.  You also have power or access to a charging station unlike millions of other people who live without electricity.  You are more than likely not starving.  There is someone out there who cares deeply for you, even if you don't know it.  We live in a world where information is literally at our fingertips, almost the whole breadth of human knowledge is just a google search away.

So if you're worried about the world I have a list of things to be thankful for:  solar roofs are going to be an actual thing, you can learn how to do just about anything on Youtube, we are living in one of the most peaceful eras in history, spices are as cheap as they ever have been in history, the up and coming generations are some of the most inclusive and diversity positive people ever,  the next generation is also more eco-conscious, Netflix, and there are millions of people dedicating their lives to tackling the world's most pressing problems.

So in this season of doubt and uncertain futures I advise you to hold close to those you love.  Gather with people of like mind and heart.  Build a fire against the darkness.  Keep your heart warm with the glow of hope.  Above all be thankful for each breath.



Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Control Freak

Greetings all,

Well today has been exciting!  I drove up to Cincinnati to speak at the Victory of Light Expo.  Up and back in one day is quite a little trip.  I was surprised to see a line for my talk, pleasantly surprised and then of course I thought, "I probably should have prepared a bit more for this."  The thing is it is about a topic I know well.  For me it is always about the Q & A, that's when I really loosen up and bring up my knowledge base; it seems like I don't know what I know until I am asked a question.

All that aside, the past few weeks I've come to a few realizations about myself and how I move through the world.  The big issue coming down the pipeline has been CONTROL.  I just seem to have this addiction to it.  As I have been noticing my posts on Facebook and the comment wars that have gone on this past year (to little effect except a smaller friend list and larger block list), I notice that I am really wanting to control people's experiences.  Now this isn't just about political disagreements, most times it is about how people experience me.  I fret over how people are going to receive my services.  I want them to have a "good" experience, or more likely I really want to blow their socks off.  I want them to have an enjoyable experience so that they'll tell their friends and I'll have more clients, which means more people's experiences to worry over.  The thing is I am not in control.  I never have been, I sometimes just mistakenly think that I am.

This freaking out about control extends out into everything. Changing plans can really throw a wrench into my internal state.  Hiccups, detours, and outright wrong turns can quickly lead me down a dark mental path.  The irony is the more I try to control situations or other people, the less self control I seem to be able to muster.  This is a long time issue for me.  For years I just sort of floated along and didn't do much as far as directing my life.  I had tried making plans before and they were always smashed into a million pieces.  So after a point I stopped looking ahead, I stopped making plans at all.  In some ways it was freeing, but it was also a trap.  I wasn't getting anywhere.  So I started to try and "direct" things.   This worked only slightly better than floating along.  Now I find myself blocking what could come because I want to control how it shows up.  What to do?  Just going along with everything didn't vastly improve my life, and trying to micromanage just makes me crazy and exhausted.   I need a reset.

So recently I started watching a show called "Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency."  It is bizarre, it is out there and kooky, and so of course I'm in love with it.  The wacky coincidences and insane bending of probabilities to serve story and the characters is just what I needed.  So I have been thinking I need to cultivate a bit of Dirk's outlook.  His main idea is that the universe will take him where he needs to go.  I have begun reminding myself, "The universe will take me where I need to go."  Today it took me to the lost and found because I had left my phone on the podium at my lecture.  Why it took me there, I don't know, but I must have needed to go there.  The thing is this way of operating is not so different as to how I approach session work.  When someone works with me they may have an idea of what they want to focus on, and we may indeed go right to that.  However many times I am led off in a completely different direction.  This happens all the time so much so that I have said, "I promise you I can deliver weird, other than that we'll have to see about."  That doesn't mean I don't address what people are wanting or needing, it just means that I am open to going someplace else.  I love when a session takes an unexpected turn, it really comes alive for me then. 

So why am I telling you this?  Well do you have a death grip on the wheel of your life?  Are you so busy trying to manage everyone and their experience that there is no room for joy for yourself?  Are you driving yourself  crazy trying to keep things rolling along according to plan?  Well sunshine, join the club and take a number because we all need help with this one.  What if you had goals rather than plans?  What if you allowed some space in your plans for flexibility and room to breathe?  What if you developed that perfect synergy of responding to life's serendipitous treats, and charting your course?  So basically have a plan, but be open to what life is showing you.  Don't be afraid to reroute and take in a few of the scenic loops.  If you start to think you finally have things under control, it may be time to step away from the wheel, because in my experience that's when the car is about to go over a cliff.  Buckle up my friends, because things are about to get weird.

Peace and Blessings,

Thomas Mooneagle

Sacred Other

Hello Sweetie,

Yes I know a bit different from my normal greeting.  I'm a fan of Dr. Who and one of my favorite characters is Dr. River Song.  It's her signature greeting, at the most unexpected instances.  She's fearless and always trouble.

Speaking of trouble, this has been a very anxiety provoking week.  Elections here in the USA have never in my memory been this dramatic.  This post will not be about what I think of the winner, (you can guess that by skimming through my Facebook feed) but rather what it has taught me.  For those of you who don't get why some of your friends are so grief stricken I will briefly sum this up.  The president-elect ran a campaign based on fear of the other.  Many of those people fit into that nebulous other category.  I fit in that other category.  I practically am a whole category of other all by my lonesome.  Although you can stop by my category anytime for a visit.

Let's talk about fear.  According to Yoda, "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering." We are taught to be normal.  Stay within the lines.  Act like the other kids.  This is part of socialization, but we tend to go a little bit overboard with it.  We are not a homogenous society we have many different cultures more or sometimes less represented.  Whenever we don't fit into what is defined as "normal" there is a societal backlash.  Now some things merit that like: serial killers, pedophiles, and people who butter their plates in a buffet line (you know someone has to use their hand to remove that, it won't rinse off you deviant slob)!  Many times we treat any "other" category with that same level of disgust.  (FUCKING PLATE BUTTERERS)!

As I said above I am "other".  Those that have met me know this.  I mean it's all up in my energy field.  From the way I interact, to the way I look at a problem, I'm just not your typical guy.  For this reason people have projected a lot of fear and hatred onto me over the years.  Nothing major mind you, just a few physical assaults, death threats, identity theft, and public humiliation. In my work, the "other" that I am comes in handy.  You could even say sometimes your life could depend on that otherness.  Yet I have tried to tone it down.  I don't want to startle the local inhabitants after all.  I don't want to inspire fear, and indeed there are times where I am the person you call to soothe and brush away fears.  Still after this week I've been thinking I may be soothing too much of my power away.  I am other.  Not only that I am a trickster.  I wasn't quite sure which kind until today.  I am the Sacred Other.  I am the unknown quality, the wildcard, the undefinable who changes from predictable to chaotic when it suits.  In short, I have come to trouble your courts and councils.  I have come to wake you up at night, what's that sound....it's me being different.  Do I frighten you?  Well if I do that's good, and if I don't that's good too.  I can be terrific or I can be terrifying, it just depends on what you're holding.  I am here to shake your paradigm to its core, not by preaching, not by force, but simply by being.  For some I am the beneficent Faery Godfather to others I am the Bogeyman.  The only difference is you.  So I think I am going to stop toning it down and instead pump up the volume so we can all dance.

So what about you?  What secret little "other" bits have you sanded down over the years or set aside? Afraid of scaring the villagers when they see you?  Perhaps you are one of those who I frighten, well take heart you get used to it.  I'm not here to hurt you.  I'm here for you to see something different and learn that it won't hurt you.  I may change you, but everything changes you.  Time, experience, relationships, educations, employment, parenthood, and the list goes on, all of these things change you.  So be you.  Be that Sacred Other that only you can be.  Stand up for the others you encounter.  We must work to gather the others and when we do we'll find that we are together.  I am a trickster, I am the Sacred Other, and maybe you are too.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Messages on Foot

Greetings all,

I hope you had a festive week.  It's been a week of celebrations and messages.  Halloween and Day of the Dead are holidays that have a special place for me.  I have had very powerful experiences at this time of year.  These holidays are the mirror of Beltane, both are times when the veils between the worlds are thin.  However at this time the veil between the lands of the dead is the thinnest. May Eve on the other hand has its veil the thinnest between here and the fair lands of faery.

There are points in the year which just have a certain magical energy about them.  There is a change in the air as the angle of the sun's light transitions into the darker months.  Even with unseasonably warm weather I felt the wind swirling about me and beckoning with promises of mysteries as I practiced my forms outside this week.  Halloween night I didn't have anything planned for once.  I was scheduled for my evening class, but I wasn't surprised when no one showed up.  The whole gym was fairly deserted that evening.  So I went home early.  I was restless.  These points of power on the calendar always make me feel as if I should be out "doing" something with the excess energy.  So a little after eleven I decided to go for an evening walk.  The trick or treaters had long since retired.  The jack-o-lanterns were all extinguished, there was a slight chill in the air more akin to late fall, and several of the streetlights had burned out.

I often walk at night.  For one thing in the summer it is the only time it is cool enough to do so.  I often will call up a friend and put in my headset as I wander the roads and sidewalks.  So I am no stranger to the paths around my neighborhood.  This night felt different, it seemed everyone was hunkered down and shut in form the night, or what lurked there.  Although the only lurking thing was me, mwahaha!  As I turned the corner I encountered a pair of deer in someone's front yard.  I stopped and looked at them, and they looked at me.  Neither of us moved for a minute, and then they got the look in their eyes that said, "Fuck a human!" After that they bounded off across the street.  I was quite startled.  I've seen deer around here before when I've been driving, but I have never gotten that close to them on foot.  I've never run across them when I've been out walking, and I have walked at all hours of the night.  (Insomnia is at times my ardent mistress).  It felt special, and it happened again on my way back.  I was pretty sure it was important.

 In the shamanic paradigm animals all have gifts and messages.  My teacher would say, "You should journey on that."  So of course the first thing I did was to pick up Animal Speak by Ted Andrews and look up deer.  The keywords were gentleness and innocence, and the luring to new adventures.  Sounds good right.  I'd also had heard from various stories that deer medicine was about compassion.  These past few months I've been working at healing some deep level heart wounds, so their appearance seemed to be a nod towards my efforts.  I did eventually journey to see what messages they had for me, and it was profound (no I'm not sharing it with you because it was a private journey).

Animal encounters are always intriguing.  They connect us with the other.  We share this world with many intelligences some more familiar and others less.  Yet when we meet our neighbors up close it is a very heightened experience.  It can also be a potentially dangerous one.  Yet when we come through unscathed something within us is touched and changed by the encounter.  There is a connection that we share with our cousins in fur and feathers.  We often try to ignore these connections or put ourselves in some sort of hierarchical order above our animal cousins, but we share a lot and when we disassociate with the animal within us we lose a large portion of our power.

So why am I telling you this?  Well animals are all around us and they can be very effective messenger carriers for spirit.  Opening up to our cousins can help us feel more connected to the world at large.  They help ground us and keep us focused in the present.  Many who have anxiety around other people are completely relaxed around animals (well some animals, perhaps not spiders or polar bears).  More importantly cultivating our awareness and relationship to other animals fosters our sense of being part of nature.  One of the drawbacks of many of our cultural programs is that we see ourselves as outside of nature, or as rational beings.  All of you with families out there know exactly how rational we are in practice.  So I suggest we observe, and pay attention to the animals around us.  See what they're up to, and how they react to us.  They may have a message or they may just remind you of that wild thing you have lurking within.  Let the wild out, howl at the moon, dance through life, and pay heed to our "other" relatives.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Power Struggle

Greetings all,

I hope you had a pleasant week.  I've certainly had an eventful one.  I had my monthly meeting of the Monroe Institute's Louisville Chapter, and I spoke at the Center for Integrative Health.  This next week promises to be full of activity with Halloween and the Day of the Dead gathering as well as my Chi Kung workshop at the Louisville Salt Cave.  Amidst this flurry of activity I finally had the time to delve into a dream journey.

As I have said in previous posts, I have a rich dream life.  It often gives me some extra behind the scenes information to help me make decisions and lead me down new avenues of discovery.  Whenever I have strong emotions in a dream it's a sign to look more deeply into it.  So I followed a power animal down the rabbit hole of consciousness back into a recent dreamscape.  In this dream a dolphin had appeared, one that I wanted to pet, but I was afraid to.  Once I began to feel trepidation about touching the creature it transformed into a more prehistoric version of itself, much larger and with a lot more teeth.  When I reentered the dream in shamanic trance I went to the dolphin and laid my hands on it.  Then it led me under the sea (yes I thought of the disney song when I wrote that and now so will you...f o r e v e r).  We found a glowing treasure chest.  A golden light merged with me and then the dolphin spoke.  It identified as part of me, and asked, "Why are you afraid of your own power?"

Now while I am pretty sure the journey included sone power and soul retrieval, the real gem for me wasn't what was in the chest it was the question.  Why do I fear my own power?  I don't have to look far for examples of that.  I am really good at sabotaging my own efforts or talking myself down with potential clients.  I've seen amazing things, heck I've even been behind a few of them so why am I so reticent about claiming and living in my own power?  I don't think I am alone in this.  So many people I meet just want to hand their power away.  Whether it is in readings or healing work I am always trying to give people their power back.  Really guys apparently I'm not even comfortable with my own so why would I want yours.  It might be because at least in some ways I equate power with responsibility.  So if I don't use it or shy away from it I subconsciously know that I can't be blamed.  It will be someone else's fault.  (Because we all know the most important thing is to know who to blame).

The thing is I have reached a point where I really need all of my power to get stuff done.  The past two years people have been sent to me with increasingly serious problems; they need serious help from a serious person.  I don't like being serious, I prefer being silly (Although my Facebook feed is an even mix really).  Maybe I worry that I will be weighed down with so many obligations there will be no time for joy.  Maybe I worry that I will inadvertently cause harm by being "too" powerful.  I've also felt the burn of envy directed my way at times, so it could be to an effort to avoid that.  Whatever the underlying reasons, it is true I am afraid of my power.  I knew it as truth as soon as the dolphin said it.  In our culture it seems nobody wants to take responsibility.  They all want to be rescued by a hero.  This would explain western civilization's fascination with messianic religions.  We're all waiting for our saviors, there is just one problem with that.  The only person that can save us is ourselves.

Those with power have a duty to act.  That can make us very uncomfortable.  There is a lot going on in the world today, and we know more about all the ills than we ever have before.  It is very overwhelming, and it makes it easier to just believe there is nothing we can do.  That way we can just go on with our lives without having to change or put forth extra effort.  To stand in your power is to make a ruckus at times.  We rock the boat when we show up standing in our power.  We upset people.  The people pleaser in me gets very uncomfortable with making other people upset.  The inner struggle is real and it continues.

How about you?  Do you struggle with your inner badass?  Do you pretend to helplessness?  Are you holding out for a hero?  Well I have to break it to you, you're the hero of your story.  No one is coming in on a white horse to put out the fires, slay the dragon, and whisk you away to an enchanted land of plenty.  No glowing heavenly figure is going to descend and wave their hands suddenly making it all better.  That power sleeps in you.  It is time to wake it up and dream it into your life.  Maybe just try being the awesome version of you a little at a time so you can work up to it.  Remember that power was put into you for a good reason, if you're not using it then you're not fulfilling your purpose.  So try being a little less scared of yourself, I'll be right there with you.  In the meantime this week's prayer was for us to surrender to our own power.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Signs of a Feather

Greetings all,

I hope your week has gone well.  It's funny when I started this blog I never meant to give such a clear picture of the inner workings of my mind.  I have a less than trusting nature, and letting people in has not been my strong point.  The benefit of this blog for me has been that it has helped me understand the interplay of my thoughts, emotions, and life patterns.  Weekly posts also helped to condition me to write steadily which was immensely useful when I was in process with my book.  I wrote myself out of a plot hole in my own life's story here and I appreciate all of you who have joined in and shared my words, now to business.

Chance and Fate have always played a significant role in my life.  Now I'm not what you would think of as traditionally lucky.  I don't find 4 leaf clovers, gambling has never been a strong talent, and pennies haven't rained down from heaven for me (well except that one time but that was part of a cosmic joke where I was the punchline so we're not counting that).  I am lucky in the sense that I have a lot of near misses with tragedy.  I'm also lucky in the fact that I seem to be plugged into a bit of the Universe's secret language of symbols.  I'd say I have a lucky knack of synchronicity.  Whether it is a natural talent or a skill I'm not sure.  I certainly have noticed that the more attention I give it the more of it seems to show up, but I also have a natural inclination to pay attention to such things.

Pattern is all around us.  Our bodies are patterned with DNA, our clothes have a signature weave.  The flow of traffic however chaotic also has pattern.  The seasons, the tides, the phases of the moon, the growth of trees, and the shells of sea life; they all have pattern.  Events have them too, and from those we craft our stories.  Now many of our stories are like others', but some stories are almost completely our own.  Now if I indeed have this way with synchronicity it all comes down to one choice I made long ago...my story would have magic in it.  This choice set my story apart from most of the mainstream world.  I've lost some things, but gained others.  The rich inner life of dreams, visions, and chance encounters has definitely been a treasure.

I have been dreaming true again.  When I was in school I remember dreaming of test questions, and sure enough those were the questions that came on test day.  These days my dreams aren't about those kinds of tests; they advise, connect, and sometimes warn.  I have been dreaming of the phoenix this past month.  In three separate dreams the magical bird that is reborn from its own ashes has given me nighttime visions.  The last dream showed a phoenix coming down to watch me drum for the winter solstice to battle the darkness and bring back the light.  So this solstice the drumming will be dedicated to the phoenix.  I know it will be a very powerful ceremony and great change awaits us in the coming months, there is reason for hope in the new year.

Sometimes my dreams bleed over more blatantly into my waking world.  This week I dreamed  I was practicing a new form, the Sparrow Hawk Hsing I form.  I recently purchased some educational videos on animal forms, but had only so far learned horse.  I had tried viewing the sparrow hawk form but couldn't wrap my mind around it.  Well in the dream I was practicing it (or at least attempting it).  The next day as I ate lunch a hawk came and landed on the neighbor's goalpost, and turned to look into the window directly at me.  It stayed there for an extended period of time looking calmly at me.  When it finally flew off I knew it was time to try the form again.  I have been working on it for a few days now, and while I am still not convinced I am truly getting it, I was able to get started.  It was as if my mind just wasn't ready for it until now.  It is times like these that I feel lucky.  It is so easy to forget amidst the madness of the modern world the underlying connection and power that exists within nature and within ourselves.

So why am I telling you this?  Well I don't think I'm the only one out there with a penchant for synchronous happenings.  I think more of you are plugged in than realize it.  Many of us ignore those twinges of fortune when they occur.  We shrug them off as coincidences and go about our busy lives. We have things to do after all, there's no time for questing, and really that is just a windmill over there in the field...right?  Well my darling readers if you are following these words the odds are good that the Universe has been laying keys to other realms at your feet.  I mean you're reading this blog out of all the other ones on the internet.  Do you think that is just random chance at work?  I assure you it isn't.  You were meant to see these words, you were meant to begin pondering the deeper meanings of life's patterns.  You were meant to find the doors that fit the keys you've been given.  So this week start paying attention.  Are your dreams sending you coded messages?  Are the street signs pointing the way beyond an address.  Does the next song on the playlist have a message from another world for you?  Follow the breadcrumbs and see where you end up.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Collective Pain

Greetings all,

Happy Hunter's Moon to you.  I hope you are enlivened by the light of the full moon this weekend.  For me it has been so intense it seems lately like everyday is a full moon.

I've talked a lot about opening to the more difficult emotions and feelings lately.  A lot of people I know have also been processing some very deep wounds.  It seems like right now everything is rising to the surface.  I've made big changes in the past year, and I would like to take even bigger steps in the year to come.  However in order to do that there is a lot that needs to be dealt with and transmuted.  I think all of us are relating with that right now.  I've talked to several people this week who have been having the same exact symptoms both emotionally and physically that I have been experiencing.

I have heard it said that our body is the reflection of our unconscious mind.  Well mine has been pulled tighter than a violin string lately.  On top of my own issues, which could be a multivolume set, there is also the collective unconscious.  All of us experiencing similar symptoms have not only our personal wounds, but are also feeling the collective unconscious of the world right now.  You don't even need to be psychically empathic anymore for this to be true, between 24 hours news channels, Facebook, and Twitter.  We are afloat amidst a sea of information all clamoring for our attention, with most of it couched in the most provocative terms to claim our eyes for ad revenue.  This election cycle has also been particularly gruesome. Election years are always periods of heightened anxieties.  There is so much going on beyond that, between constant revelations of racially charged violence of police against people of color, threats of terrorism, the looming of a bigger war sparked off by the conflict in the middle east, and the economic and social unrest here in America we've frankly got a lot of real problems in front of us.  So it's no wonder that we may all be feeling a bit tense in our bodies.

I am tempted to unplug and disengage.  In fact it might not be a bad idea.  However as a majority of my business comes from my online presence I sort of have to stay plugged in.  Still I am having to find ways to disengage.  It is hard.  I am empathic so even if I go on a news blackout with extremely limited time on social media for postings and quick messages I am plugged in on a spirit level to the mass of feelings we as human beings are generating.  There is a lot of fear right now and it hurts...literally.  I feel your disenfranchisement in my body and it hurts, hell the other day I was so tense I was nauseated. We have pitted each other against ourselves.  Many of you perhaps don't feel it as viscerally as some of the more psychically tuned people do, but I assure you this climate of fear and aggression is affecting you.  It may be as simple as a stress headache, or a bit more aggressive driving attitude (I have noticed of late that people are driving crazy).  You may be losing sleep due to some general anxiety.  Stressed out fearful people are easier to manipulate.

So why am I telling you all this.  Well one, I feel like I am confessing as to why I haven't been as productive lately.  Secondly, I think many of us are beating up on ourselves for feeling so vulnerable right now.  It's hard to get out and make the world a better place when we are in pain.  Left or right, black or white, immigrant or indigenous, we are all in this together.  Your pain is my pain and vice versa.  After the dust settles on this heightened time we will all have to roll up our sleeves and get to work to solve the problems we are faced with.  We are not islands, we are the drops of water in the ocean.

Do do you find yourself achy, tired, and anxious?  Are you in fight or flight mode?  Do you feel a deep need to withdraw from the world?  Well cheer up you're not alone.  Talk to people.  Connect with those you love and trust.  Maybe confess how you feel.  Perhaps together you can carry the weight of these heavy times with less of a burden.  Come together, sing, laugh, and play because the woes of the world will be there, but so too will the blessings.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

The Transformative Power of Nonsense

Greetings all,

I hope you've had a wonderful first week of October, or as I call it "The Superficial Supernatural Month".  I tend to be busier this month because suddenly the mainstream finds my activities acceptable as long as they are for entertainment purposes only and if I will give them a seasonal discount.  Sorry guys I'm full price all year long because real monsters don't have a season.

Now that I've gotten a majority of my snark out of the way I wanted to talk to you about something really serious.  There is something you can do that can really transform your life into a magical story full of vivacious color and plot twists.  Are you ready for it?  Are you sure?  Okay then, there is a vast amount of power in goofing off.  You thought I was going to tell you meditate didn't you?  Well while that certainly can't hurt things I have to say that goofing off with some of my friends has had the strongest impact on my overall outlook.

I have different circles of friends. Some are people that I work with and they get my magical side.  Others I click with because they are artists and makers. Some people I do games with or see movies.  Some of my friends are ones for deep meaningful conversations.  Some are the purveyors of the divine nonsense that breaks me down into fits of laughter in less than a minute. Some of my friends are in several of these categories.  Today I am going to talk about those keepers of nonsense.  There are a few people that I have an almost chemical reaction with just by being around.  Seriously it is like comedic pheromones.  Except instead of sexual attraction it leads to unstoppable silliness and uncontrollable laughter.  This ladies and gentlemen is why I've never had to do drugs.  (Although many people have assumed we were high upon encountering us).

Some people will say it is fluff, or luxury, but laughter is absolutely essential if you want to be effective in your life.  The world we've built offers up to us a million reasons why we should be miserable and terrified, so any act of pure joy is an act of revolution. I've often said that if you want to disempower an "evil" spirit the best way is to laugh at it.  They totally hate that, and joy burns them like acid.  It's an energy thing they just can't get their hooks into joy.  So letting go and giving into nonsense and laughter isn't just the best way to vanquish the dark forces, it also happens to be a great way to spend the evening, so it is a two for one deal. Even if you're not in the monster hunting trade lightening up and not being so serious all the time is very freeing.  It makes you less rigid and more able to flex into new situations and solutions.

I am blessed that I have several people that I just immediately get silly with.  Unless one of us is dealing with a crisis it is our default state, and when one of us is having a crisis we jump to it to get it solved.  (I mean we all want to get back to the base state of nonsense).  Most of us had this when we were kids. Many of us unfortunately had it drilled out of us either intentionally or through the various traumas of life.  We also lost it because we thought it was just for kids.  We had to be all serious and  a mature adult.  Perhaps I am immature in my belief that life shouldn't be such a chore or burden.  There should be crazy singing, impromptu dancing, and lots of innuendos that go nowhere.

So why am I saying this?  Well the collective consciousness has been collectively anxious.  The pressure currently in the mass psyche is like an overtaxed boiler.  We all need to blow off some steam.  We all need those people around us that serve to remind us that human beings can be a delight.  They help us to remember that we aren't just needed but wanted.

So how about you?  Do you have your brave companions of the inane?  Are the saints of silliness in your traveling circus you call a life?  Does laughter stalk you and your family like a cat waiting to seriously fuck up your ball of yarn? Well if not why not?  Where are the beloved crazies in your life that bring out your inner jokester?  Where are the kings and queens of inappropriate fun?  Seek them out and erupt in glorious vivacity.  Lay traps filled with sinister joy.  Laugh so hard your sides hurt.  Truly people once you do it you'll not want to live any other way.  I shall await your adventuring party atop the Mountain of Maddening Delight.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Sacred Grief

Greetings all,

Autumn has finally descended here weather wise.  It is with great reluctance that I let go of the growing season.  I was born in South Florida so for the first years of my life I knew only different shades of summer.  There was hot summer, cold summer, and almost summer.  Still the seasons paint us and shape us so I don't know what I would have become had I remained in the land of summer.  The dark half of the year has come to cast its shadow upon us and with it some of the more somber feelings take precedence as we lose the light and the leaves.

It has been a year of loss.  So far I have lost two very good friends, and I have a family member in hospice.  The sand is running a bit thin.  The card that keeps coming up for me when I care to look is the three of swords.  In one deck it depicts a heart pierced by three swords.  I've had quite a change in my work life this year as well, so much so that I haven't really stopped to acknowledge fully my losses.  That is until recently.  About two weeks ago I was coming out of a period of high anxiety and restlessness.  I was feeling ill as well.  I had up until that point been very productive starting back in my studio and experimenting.  Then it all came to a halt.  Anxiety had kept me from sleeping and I was exhausted.  I could barely honor my obligations and keep appointments let alone create.  Something had to shift.

Each week I participate in something called Ganesha Group.  It originally was created to help participants remove the barriers to healing, and now has evolved to bring in the elements of healing.  We were working with the 4th key of healing "I allow help, support, and healing."  During the work, I had a profound experience.  Tears kept coming.  I was grieving, and it felt so peaceful and right.  I had been so stressed out and frantic and this was the opposite.  I refer to the deep vulnerable space I touched as Sacred Grief.

For so many years I had avoided diving into the space of loss because I had often been tormented by long stretches of depression.  I had worked so hard to see the good in life I was afraid of falling back into the pit of despair. (Extra points to people who caught the Princess Bride reference).  I had resisted sadness and grief and treated it as emotional baggage. Part of me thought that I could just wait until that third sword had struck and then I could efficiently do my grieving all at once.  You know it all sounded so logical in my head.  We have pathologized grief in our society.  In fact last I checked the DSM-V had a grief disorder, a subset of depression, because apparently it is considered abnormal to grieve for more than two weeks.  Heaven forbid that we actually have to experience strong emotions for that long.  How inconvenient for us and our community.

The problem is if we don't fully experience our feelings they linger in the body and in the back of our minds clouding our experiences.  What I touched in that moment of relief in the grief was pure grace. It was at once completely human while being simultaneously divine.  As the seasons give us their individual colors so too do our emotions.  We tend to demonize a lot of our feelings particularly those with a darker shade.  Feeling blue?  Well then just ask your doctor about this pill.  Now I am not condemning medicating for actual depression, but we seem to have gone to the extreme and put all sadness into a clinical diagnosis.  Sometimes you are going to be sad, because life has sadness in it.  People you love die, or your lover leaves you, or you lose your job, or you get sick.  These are a part of life and feeling bad about them is natural.  Sadness and grief makes us think deeply about our lives, it forces us to examine where we are, where we've been, where we're going, and how we think we'll get there.  We must honor that part of ourselves that mourns.  We have to use all the crayons in the box not just the reds and the yellows.

So how about you?  Have you allowed yourself to sink into that place of Sacred Grief.  Have you allowed your feelings to be fully felt? Do you hold yourself together until it is convenient for everybody for you to have feelings?  Well guess what that doesn't work.  It doesn't make you weak or a selfish person to need to take a bit of time to allow your feelings to flow.  So say no to some people, make space for yourself.  Touch your grief and hold it as the sacred thing it is, for it comes out of your love and connection to others.  Through it maybe you will feel the grace beneath that love.  I hope you do and I hope you learn to paint with the colors of all your emotions.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Fate and Consequence

Greetings all,

Happy fall to all my friends in the Northern hemisphere.  We've had a lot of turbulent energy in the past few weeks and many of us have felt it.  The equinoxes are gateways in the year from one season to another.  They are also balance points so I am hoping that we will begin to reorient and ground ourselves in the season to come.

I had been feeling under the weather this week, but as Spirit promised me in the early summer things have picked up quite a bit for my healing practise.  Fate, with her sense of humor, timed it for when I was feeling at my lowest energy wise.  This could have been cruel if looked at in one light, but I choose to see it differently.  I have been repeatedly told when I worry about not being good enough for the work I do that I need to remember that I'm not the one doing it.  I am the one allowing it to come through.  My job is to honor my spiritual obligations, prepare my own energies, and keep the space as well as follow directions.  This week that is all I had energy to do.  If I had tried to "run" the sessions I wouldn't have been able to.  My healing sessions this week have been just as powerful (if not more so) then when I have been at full strength.  I think this was to reinforce to me that this is not about personal power and never has been.  This is all about maintaining relationship with Spirit.  I am not the planner of sessions, I'm not even the doer, I am merely the facilitator.  I assist and respond to people's questions and concerns.

None of this was clearer than in Thursday's autumnal equinox drumming ceremony.  I had been fighting off getting sick with only a partially successful effort.  Still I teach and swim on Thursdays.  After my professional and physical training obligations were met I didn't know that I had it to drum.  Still I had a commitment to Spirit that must be honored as well.  So I knew even if it wasn't vigorous drumming I would show up for it.  Once again the power of showing up to honor a promise was demonstrated.  I called a good friend and we met at a local park where I have drummed a few times.  We set up the space and slowly began to drum.  As I sent out the prayers for those on my Mesa prayer list and my Year of Transformation participants, I also asked for healing of my own heart and opening more into the vibration of love.  It was after that when I looked down and noticed for the first time the chalk art that children had left all around the covered pavilion where we had set up.

Again this was completely unplanned.  I had felt so inadequate because I hadn't scheduled everything out nor had I set a place for the drumming ahead of the day.  Yet clearly I ended up in the exact space I was supposed to be in.  Sometimes I think Fate and Coyote make wagers on me.  In this case I'm not sure who won, but I feel like I got the better of the deal.  If this were the end of the story we could just call it coincidence, but wait there is indeed more.  I had started the day teaching my Tai Chi class outside.  During the class a beautiful Monarch butterfly fluttered past towards the west.  As we began the drum ceremony (across town mind you) a Monarch once again flew past headed into the west.  West just happens to be the direction of autumn on the medicine wheel.  I also had an encounter with a cricket who had perched upon my gym bag that morning and I took that as a lucky sign.  Still for the skeptics out there I have the final nail in the coffin for doubt.  Earlier in the week someone shared with me an article on this equinox, it was about the Goddess Kali.  She is a fierce deity that can shake you to your core.  Having felt like I had been shaken past my core the past few months I was not happy.  I actually asked maybe she could do her work this time with love maybe even enjoyably.  Well my doubters check this out.

That's right she was there in chalk in the circle.  I didn't notice until after we began.  Take that myth busters!  Notice that the I is dotted with a heart.  I asked for that two days before.  BLAM!  So despite having zero energy and feeling like I was going to collapse going into ceremony we drummed for a good twenty minutes at least.  It wasn't all just a slow beat either.  The tempo increased on its own and by the end I was dancing.  There might just be something to all this magic stuff.

So at this place and time of power what doubts do you still hold?  What do you not believe you can achieve or receive?  Are you afraid to ask for what you need?  Why not ask anyways the worst that can happen is that you are refused.  However if you don't ask you will never get it.  I admit I was shuffled around by Fate this week, and I am kind of glad.  I couldn't have planned it better if I had tried.  So try asking and trusting a bit just for a little while you can always try something else later.  In the meantime welcome to the next quarter of the year.  I hope that it will bring your heart what you truly need.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Sand Castles

Greetings all,

I hope you've have a good week.  I have been doing better weathering the storm of extreme energy tides.  This is due in great part to the wonderful people who offered support and prayers to help me find my footing.

Illusions surround us every moment of the day.  For the most part we go about our lives without seeing the chaotic swirls that surround our every action.  We as bipedal creatures come very close to falling with every single step we take.  We have literally trillions of chemical reactions taking place within our bodies on a daily basis which all must be perfectly timed and in harmony with each other to keep us alive.  For those of us lucky enough to own homes, we trust that the earth beneath us is stable and the winds of the world will blow gently.  All that we depend upon can be overturned in moments by the forces of nature or the chaotic forces within our own species.

Most of us ignore this fact.  We carry some insurance to shore up the imbalances of fate and circumstance.  I have been lucky.  I am not lucky due to any superior ability with cards or dice.  Fortune doesn't shower me with gold from the heavens.  I am lucky for the most part because of what I haven't had happen.  I was born into a middle class family in a country that is not in a war zone.  I have never gone hungry.  I have not been subject to constant violence.  I have been only a few car accidents and none of those were injury accidents (to which I am continually grateful to my legion of traffic angels).  I have a space to lay my head.  No one tried to abuse me as a child growing up, and my parents are still a couple after several decades of marriage.

As I become older and hopefully wiser, I can see just how lucky I have been.  When I was seriously ill years ago I had the support of family and at the time really good health insurance.  As I see more people in my practice I realize just how fragile the weave of our lives can be.  A simple accident or meeting the wrong person at the wrong time can shake us to our core.  People currently look at me now and think just how strong and sure I seem.  I'm really not.  I am acutely aware that everything I have built in the past decade is a castle built on sand.  The tides could turn at any moment or the earth could shake and all I have built will be just a memory.

When the energies I feel around myself and the world at large start to buck and rock I too am afraid.  I like many Americans have probably less than stellar health insurance, even a minor accident or issue could cause immense destruction in my life and the life of my family.  I rely on the blessings that I have received to continue living and building a better life.  The sands could shift though and I just have to trust that the universe will take care of me.  Trust is not something that comes easy to me.  It is hard for me to open up to others and trust them, or to trust that things will work out alright.  You'd think I would have a different perspective given that my holistic practices are focused on bringing in support for others.  Still I have that trust gap when it comes to my own needs and my own life.  It is something I must grow into, because I am truly in the hands of Fate every hour of every day.

So why do I bring this up?  Well the energies of late have stirred a lot of this primal shadow energy up from the depths, not just for myself but for all of us.  Many of us are feeling very vulnerable right now, especially those of us that practice some form of awareness expansion.  Enlightenment is not for wimps.  It will shake you until you surrender.  It will sometimes make you wish you had pushed the snooze alarm on the cosmic wake up call.  For mine is not the only castle built of sand.  We are all on the shore and the tides of life are coming in.  One day we will be swept out to the great sea into the beyond.  Until that time though we must build our little castles and be grateful for them.  As I have watched the sands of life run out for various loved ones this year, I have felt the bittersweetness of the world.  We are here together and by some miracle we find each other and weave lives all the while knowing that each thread we weave together will one day be ripped from our looms.  It takes great courage to continue our work and our lives.  So for today I will be grateful for what remains to me.  I will work to make my castle wonderful and inviting until the day the surf comes to take it back into the sea.  So for those of you who have watched the castles of your life fall as the sand shifts beneath it, I offer you my love.  That is the only thing that is not sand in this life.  Love endures beyond all form and even its memory continues to move through us into the world.  Honor what you have, and honor those you love.  In another time and another place we may yet sit together building castles of dreams without fear.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Riding the Lightning

Greetings all,

Another week has passed.  It has been in turns both wonderful and terrible.  I've reconnected with some folks I hadn't seen in a long time.  I also had a good week work wise, however my internal weather has been earthquakes and tidal forces pulling on my little fragile self, or what I have previously identified with as the self.

I have often counseled people to move slowly when doing deep inner work.   This goes for both energetic/magical work or more mundane forms of depth work.  There is often a "can do" or "more is better" attitude when it comes to "self improvement".  I'm beginning to think there is no self improvement, just coming into alignment with who we truly are.  Many spiritual traditions point to an all knowing and all powerful Creator who made us.  This idea competes with many societal and religious doctrines which tells us we are intrinsically flawed and must fix or improve ourselves in order to be worthy.  There in lies the success of the multibillion dollar cosmetic and diet industry.  To those of us that subscribe to a belief in a creator deity I pose this question, why do you think an all powerful all knowing being made a mistake when they made you?  To those of us who subscribe to a more scientific materialism model I ask, "Can over a billion years of evolution be wrong?"

I emailed my support group of shamanic practitioners only to find that many of them have also been experiencing this shakiness and feeling of things crumbling.  I had worried that I had moved too fast, and tripped down the lightning path for a bit.  I've done that before, it's been a good five years since I have and it only took about a year or so to recover from the last misstep.  This impatience with ourselves and trying to be more and better can cause us to overload our circuits.  As we remove or replace core belief patterns it can feel like the house of our self is crashing down around us.  Our identity and sense of self is intertwined with both the authentic components of our identity and the false projections we've picked up from our culture, family, and belief systems.  When one thing moves the whole thing moves.  Think of a Jenga tower half way through a game.  Any piece you take out causes the whole tower to sway.  If you are into the game you get nervous, even though it is a false construct. It is the same with our self concepts and belief structures.

All that said right now myself and many others are being called on to embody more of our authentic nature, that which was created at the beginning either by evolution or a deity figure.  The world around us needs us for our innate attributes and not for what society has told us we have to offer.  We are the people we've been waiting for.  We are the light and the dark has been rising.  This sense of unease in myself is from my inner resistance from assuming and embodying more of that.  I like many of us lack faith in myself and doubt my worthiness on many levels.  The more inner resistance I have the worse that anxious feeling becomes.  As a spirit recently told me, "You don't believe in good dreams do you."  She was right I hope for things but don't really expect them.  This is something I must sort through, as power rises in me I must surrender to it.  I mustn't argue that the Universe is mistaken, and I am not fit to embody this.

So how does this apply to you?  Well do you feel lately that you're spinning out of control?  Are you wanting to make a course correction, but can't even get your bearings?  Are you stepping back into the shadows instead of forward into the light that you are?  Have a little patience, be gentle with yourself.  Consider the odds of you even existing in this moment in time, in the space that you do.  If there is a grand pattern to things, might you not be a part of it?  What if you just believe you belong here now in this world for its betterment?  What if you stopped wondering about worthiness and just took your existence as proof that you are?  What if you embraced the awesome power of your spirit?  What if instead of being struck by the lightning, you rode it down to earth?  So to sum up:  you are here, you matter, and you're worthy.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Atlas of Dreams

Greetings all,

I hope this holiday weekend finds you well.  This marks the traditional end of summer for most folks.  Labor day weekend used to be the last bit of summer vacation for school children.  Around here though the kids have been in school since mid August.  Things change.

For most of my life I have kept a record of my dreams.  I became interested in lucid dreaming when I was 13 and the first thing you're told to do is to write down your dreams.  For some this is very difficult, but for me it was easy.  For better or worse I have always had quite vivid dreams.  Fantasies of flying have felt so real and blissful, but on the flip side of that terror invoking visions have shaken me to my core.  Everything has its price.  While I have had a few instances of lucidity over the years it has been sparse, but I continue to write down my dreams to glean information and direction from them.  You'd be surprised of how much the conscious mind misses through the day.

At this point I have filled over half a dozen notebooks and journals with my night time wanderings.  As I look back over the years I can see changing patterns in my dreams.  I used to have a lot more fantasy elements in my teenage years.  I had the hero quest type dreams and escaping from danger and death dreams.  In my twenties I had more prophetic or psychic dreams.  These days the story book nature of my dreams ebbs and flows.  For weeks or months my dreams can be mostly mundane and then out of the blue they will turn once more to the mystic.  Lately I've found myself doing actual magical or healing work while asleep.  When I wake I know a part of it was real, as there is the aftertaste of magic in the air around the bed.  (Magic always has a very distinct feeling/smell to it for me).

As I said above my dream life can be a mixed blessing.  I sometimes awaken almost as tired as when I laid down to sleep.  I can walk very far and see sights that trouble me while I slumber.  The gift in these visions is clarity though.  Dreams have time and again offered me guidance, a nudge, or encouragement to embark on a path in my waking life.

Why am I telling you this?  Well all of us dream, even those that claim they don't.  Dreams and the symbols they use are powerful tools of transformation and self awareness.  They are provided to us free of charge each night, and when we pay attention they can even be used by spirit to reach out to us.  This gift is a common heritage we all share as human beings.  As we move into a new season often times our dream life will pick up.  It is a time of transition and there are power in those spaces.  So if you haven't been doing so keep a pad or notebook by the bed.  When you wake write down your meanderings through the night realms. If you can't remember just write how you feel in that moment of waking.  Over time your record will become a map of your spirit, an atlas of dreams.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Alchemy

Greetings all,

Last week I spoke of inertia, and this week has been about momentum.  Where once in my life I had long stretches of nothing and no one to occupy my time, this week has been full and rewarding with synchronicity and soulful doings.

Since I left retail at the beginning of the summer I have been rediscovering parts of myself.   You shut a lot of yourself down in certain work situations.  Retail certainly taught me humility, or maybe it was humiliation.  In either case it put me out in the public in a way that I wouldn't have been.  I can be kind of a hermit at times.  I have traded one form of public interaction for another though and now I am teaching and speaking in front of groups on a regular basis.  I'm not sure if the retail helped with that, but for my own peace of mind we'll just say that it did.

When I made the decision last week to get back into my clay work, I was immediately gifted with a fortuitous "coincidence".  Previously I had to drive to the next closest city an hour away to get supplies, but this weekend was the grand opening of a ceramics supply store right here in the center of town.  Sure it could just be random chance, but what are the odds that it would open the same exact week I began to get my hands dirty again in the studio?  I tend to suspect some magical agent was involved in this, or perhaps some precognition on my own part.

So I came back into my studio, confronted by months of neglect with difficult clay and found that it had stiffened further so slab building was impossible.  Quite simply it was too hard to be rolled out.  So I went to plan B which was to use my extruder (a giant size play dough fun factory for ceramics).  I literally had to punch the clay into shape so it would fit into the barrel of the extruder.  Due to the extreme toughness of the porcelain, when it came out of the barrel the tube bent and tore in crazy directions.  As an evolved being I took a breath and then exhaled, "FUUUUUCCKKKK!"  Then with that calming ritual completed, I cut the odd shapes loose from the equipment and set them aside.  After cutting them down a bit I began to see directions that I wouldn't have thought of pursuing without the initial imperfections.  I came out of it with three very unique pots which I then carved to enhance the forms that I co-created.

All of this came out of the difficulties I was having with my materials.  In the past some of my best work has come about due to problems I had to solve, or because I had leftover material that I didn't want to go to waste.  I often liked it better than what I had planned or envisioned.  This taking in of the current conditions and working with them to transform and create is the driving force of alchemy. Whether it is turning lead into gold or spinning air and space into a dense mound of clay it is a magical process.  It is challenging and fascinating and learning how to turn what comes our way into opportunity and blessings is part of the way of the alchemist.  Some things take a bit more thought, ingenuity,  and energy to transform than others, but the densest material often yields the most spectacular end results.  

So how about you?  What perceived negative situation or material can you rework into a golden opportunity?  What problem can be transmuted into a brilliant alchemical solution?  This is not the same as positive thinking, it is better, it is transformative thinking.  What if everything that arises around you could be used as a stepping stone to a major transformation?  What if what weighs you down could be decanted into fuel that would rocket you up to your shooting stars where you wishes and dreams dance?  It won't be easy, but if you can learn to work with what you are given then you will become the Alchemist, master of destiny, servant of the Divine, and you will hold dominion over the matter of your life.  Seems like a cool gig if you ask me.  Try it on for a bit and see what solutions rise to the surface of your life.

Peace and Blessings,

Thomas Mooneagle