Greetings all,
I am home at last. So whenever I leave for a good length of time it seems when I come home everything is in flux. The universe has decided it is time I spread my wings and fly higher. I knew something was coming because Coyote has been showing up.
In modern American culture most of us were first acquainted with Coyote as children via looney tunes. Remember poor old Wile E Coyote, Super Genius? The cartoons did get one thing right, Coyote is clever. Traditionally Coyote also got into a lot of trouble with his meddling, however there was no Acme TNT involved. Coyote also had it out for authority figures, particularly those that take themselves too seriously or take advantage of the less fortunate. He is not fond of rules or protocols. Coyote is that friend your mother warned you about, the one who will get you dragged into all sorts of trouble. Well, it seems he's taken an interest in me, how lucky for me.
It began over a month ago with a statue. My uncle brought it back with him while he was closing up his house out west. It's nearly life-size, but highly stylized. It is of course Coyote although painted more like fox (a medicine I carry). Message number one went completely over my head. I admit it sometimes I am dense. Message number two was a bit more revealing. I dreamed a little dream of Coyote walking along one of the pathways near my home. I was with family and I threw sticks because I didn't want him getting too close. Upon waking, I knew it was a message and that he was trying to reach me. I didn't wait for message number three, I sought out Coyote in the lower world in a journey. I call him Laughing Dog because the first time I met him he looked at me and said, "It's you!" Then he starting laughing at me and wouldn't stop. This time when I met him he was not alone he had his pack all around him. He was half serious even. He told me he had something to show me.
Laughing Dog ran and took me to a cliff side. Ahead there were mountains and above them dark clouds with flashing lights and shadows moving behind them. "Storm's coming," he said. This was the future and it was fast approaching. For the record, this is not the sort of thing you'd enjoy seeing in a journey. This was inevitability, it was unstoppable and it was heading my way. So Laughing Dog did something, for good or ill he offered me his help. I paused for a good long moment, I looked at my power animal who managed to shrug. This was one of those free will things. I considered Laughing Dog's reputation for causing as much trouble with his assistance as with his hindering. Still at the end of it all I came to this. I'd rather have the Coyote on my side than working against me, and help offered in good faith by a willing spirit shouldn't be so easily tossed aside. I accepted Laughing Dog's offer of aid in the coming storm.
Well folks the storm is upon me. I am in the midst of it as I write these words. My foundations have been shaken and torn out beneath my feet. All is change. Coyote is master of change…usually. Well he's adaptable, he's even been sighted in my neighborhood. As uncomfortable as it may be I know he has things to teach me. Aside from adaptability, Coyote really doesn't care much about what others think of him. This is something I need to learn a bit of. He's not exactly a worrier either and I could definitely take a page out of that playbook. So here I am playing co-op with Coyote, it isn't clear who is winning at the moment, but with a good attitude and a bit of luck I'm sure we'll pull through.
So I've talked a lot about myself and my experiences this week, but I have noticed that many people around me are going through similar things. There are big changes afoot, and many of us are anxious or down right scared. Our lives seem to be falling apart around us, what we've relied upon for so long is no longer there for us. The storm has come, the winds of change are blowing, and if we listen carefully we may hear Coyote singing. Ask yourself how adaptable are you? Can you master change? Is there an area of your life where the Laughing Dog could assist you? Coyote is here and he is laughing, if we are flexible and brave we may be able to laugh with him.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
Musings
Thursday, October 22, 2015
Thursday, October 15, 2015
Falling
Greetings all,
I write once more from the road. I'm certainly getting in my miles this year. Soon the travel cloak will be put away for the season, but a few weeks more are left in the rush. As the leaves begin to fall, it is a time of letting go. Just as we do spring cleaning so too does autumn have us let loose of things.
Falling down is an important lesson. One all of us learn (some like yours truly learn it repeatedly just in case we missed the gist). The thing about falling is learning to pick ourselves back up without too much discouragement. I usually do, but not until I have sufficiently bitched about it and beaten myself up for falling down in the first place. Someday I hope to at least transcend the need to beat myself up for not doing everything perfectly the first time. I do believe I have shared my burden of perfectionism. It is never so apparent then when I fail at something. The self recriminations and feelings of worthlessness can be overwhelming. Generally I am very poor company for days after a set back. I want comforting and yet refuse to be cheered or comforted. I call that my pity whore state of being.
This week I was informed that I was being let go from one of my teaching positions. It came as a shock. I have regular students but apparently my attendance rate was too low. (To be fair my class was scheduled at the worst possible time for most working people). I had gotten glowing performance reviews so I was blindsided. So I have spent the last 48 hours alternating between panicking about funds and then wallowing in the depths of being a professional failure. No drama there nope not a bit of it. Okay people no drama to see here move along.
We can either define ourselves by our successes or failures. However probably the best way to define ourselves is how we manage to get back up and face the world again with grace. I swear I will learn to do this gracefully…tomorrow…or next week….perhaps next year. This is harder to do than you'd think. It is easier if we learn it when we're children, but not all of us do. For those who didn't have the creative parenting style that teaches resilience there is hope though. You can learn to be resilient, to dust yourself off and get back in the game. It is a choice. Although I may complain and consider giving up, it is an option that is off the table. I can't give up, not won't, can't.
So how about you? When you fall do you get back up or do you lay there until someone comes along to pick you back up? Do you see failure as some sort of big character flaw that only unworthy people have? Do you beat yourself up when you fall short? Well my dear ones you're not alone. Most of us are still learning how to take care of ourselves while we move forward. Give yourself permission to fall from time to time with the caveat that you will get back up and try again. To rise we must fall, to succeed we must risk failure. Is it really so bad to not be perfect? Think about it as you get back on your feet this week.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
I write once more from the road. I'm certainly getting in my miles this year. Soon the travel cloak will be put away for the season, but a few weeks more are left in the rush. As the leaves begin to fall, it is a time of letting go. Just as we do spring cleaning so too does autumn have us let loose of things.
Falling down is an important lesson. One all of us learn (some like yours truly learn it repeatedly just in case we missed the gist). The thing about falling is learning to pick ourselves back up without too much discouragement. I usually do, but not until I have sufficiently bitched about it and beaten myself up for falling down in the first place. Someday I hope to at least transcend the need to beat myself up for not doing everything perfectly the first time. I do believe I have shared my burden of perfectionism. It is never so apparent then when I fail at something. The self recriminations and feelings of worthlessness can be overwhelming. Generally I am very poor company for days after a set back. I want comforting and yet refuse to be cheered or comforted. I call that my pity whore state of being.
This week I was informed that I was being let go from one of my teaching positions. It came as a shock. I have regular students but apparently my attendance rate was too low. (To be fair my class was scheduled at the worst possible time for most working people). I had gotten glowing performance reviews so I was blindsided. So I have spent the last 48 hours alternating between panicking about funds and then wallowing in the depths of being a professional failure. No drama there nope not a bit of it. Okay people no drama to see here move along.
We can either define ourselves by our successes or failures. However probably the best way to define ourselves is how we manage to get back up and face the world again with grace. I swear I will learn to do this gracefully…tomorrow…or next week….perhaps next year. This is harder to do than you'd think. It is easier if we learn it when we're children, but not all of us do. For those who didn't have the creative parenting style that teaches resilience there is hope though. You can learn to be resilient, to dust yourself off and get back in the game. It is a choice. Although I may complain and consider giving up, it is an option that is off the table. I can't give up, not won't, can't.
So how about you? When you fall do you get back up or do you lay there until someone comes along to pick you back up? Do you see failure as some sort of big character flaw that only unworthy people have? Do you beat yourself up when you fall short? Well my dear ones you're not alone. Most of us are still learning how to take care of ourselves while we move forward. Give yourself permission to fall from time to time with the caveat that you will get back up and try again. To rise we must fall, to succeed we must risk failure. Is it really so bad to not be perfect? Think about it as you get back on your feet this week.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
Mastery
Greetings all,
I once more set out on the road again this week. Not just for a weekend this time. I will be staying out until after the second expo. This has been a busy season so far. Once winter settles in, my traveling days will be done for a bit and I can work on my artistic endeavors again. This week's topic could have just as well been last week's, as it arose from a conversation with a friend of mine. I'd like to spend a little time speaking about mastery.
This seem's to be the seeker's goal. Many of us start on a spiritual path either due to a deep longing for meaning or because we are profoundly unhappy with the direction our life has gone. Pain often is a great motivator as we don't seek to change when everything is nice and pleasant. So we set out on the road to discovery. What is mastery though? Ask different seekers and you'll get different answers. For me it was the ability to transmute or transcend any circumstance, to be untroubled by what was within myself and out in the world. For others, it is to be without desire or without fear. The longer I am on my path the less certain I have any idea of what mastery is. These days I would say it means the ability to fluidly change how I relate to anything be it a person, place, circumstance, or myself. I could of course be wrong, it happened once before.
Over the years, I have had people come to me convinced I could let them in on a big secret of the universe, and that they would be transformed into a shinier version of themselves, a version without troubles. Where there is life there is hope, but there are also challenges. The difference between a master and ourselves (I''m assuming you're not an ascended master reading this post, if you are then yay) is how we show up for those challenges. I don't know about you but I don't embrace my troubles like I do my joys. All the people who have come to me wanting to be a master wanted to do it and remain essentially themselves. That's pretty impossible I mean to transform we have to change, quite dramatically. Many of us myself included have wanted change without changing. We start doing the work and things start to shift and we freak out.
I drove myself crazy trying to become a master. Mostly because I decided there was no time to lose I had to achieve mastery right now! No ego involved in that attitude, nope not even a little. As with many things involving the ego it stems from a fear of not being good enough. Yes that old tired belief set. The I'm not young enough, pretty enough, smart enough, strong enough, talented enough, emotionally mature enough, etc…. This mode of thinking always has our becoming somewhere off in the hazy future. Someday I will be good enough to be a master. Someday I will be good enough to be loved. Someday I will be good enough to be of service. It is of course a lie. You will never be good enough someday. You are good enough right now. When I opened my healing practice, I knew a lot less than I do right now, and yet I was able to help people. I'm sure a year or so from now I'll know a great deal more. You see we are always in the process of becoming. Every minute of our life we are becoming ourselves. By taking mastery out of the equation, we allow ourselves to embrace who and what we are. I have in essence given up on becoming a master, and elected instead to become more of who I am in this life.
So how about you? Are you waiting for your so called perfected self to feel worthy? Do you think you need to be a master to be of service? Do you entertain fantasies of an unencumbered journey through life? Well you might want to think twice and remember Dorothy wanted to go over the rainbow, but when she got there she found evil witches, flying monkeys, and charlatan wizards. So why not click your heels together and wish to be who you are. Let yourself off the hook. You don't have to be a master today, only yourself.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
I once more set out on the road again this week. Not just for a weekend this time. I will be staying out until after the second expo. This has been a busy season so far. Once winter settles in, my traveling days will be done for a bit and I can work on my artistic endeavors again. This week's topic could have just as well been last week's, as it arose from a conversation with a friend of mine. I'd like to spend a little time speaking about mastery.
This seem's to be the seeker's goal. Many of us start on a spiritual path either due to a deep longing for meaning or because we are profoundly unhappy with the direction our life has gone. Pain often is a great motivator as we don't seek to change when everything is nice and pleasant. So we set out on the road to discovery. What is mastery though? Ask different seekers and you'll get different answers. For me it was the ability to transmute or transcend any circumstance, to be untroubled by what was within myself and out in the world. For others, it is to be without desire or without fear. The longer I am on my path the less certain I have any idea of what mastery is. These days I would say it means the ability to fluidly change how I relate to anything be it a person, place, circumstance, or myself. I could of course be wrong, it happened once before.
Over the years, I have had people come to me convinced I could let them in on a big secret of the universe, and that they would be transformed into a shinier version of themselves, a version without troubles. Where there is life there is hope, but there are also challenges. The difference between a master and ourselves (I''m assuming you're not an ascended master reading this post, if you are then yay) is how we show up for those challenges. I don't know about you but I don't embrace my troubles like I do my joys. All the people who have come to me wanting to be a master wanted to do it and remain essentially themselves. That's pretty impossible I mean to transform we have to change, quite dramatically. Many of us myself included have wanted change without changing. We start doing the work and things start to shift and we freak out.
I drove myself crazy trying to become a master. Mostly because I decided there was no time to lose I had to achieve mastery right now! No ego involved in that attitude, nope not even a little. As with many things involving the ego it stems from a fear of not being good enough. Yes that old tired belief set. The I'm not young enough, pretty enough, smart enough, strong enough, talented enough, emotionally mature enough, etc…. This mode of thinking always has our becoming somewhere off in the hazy future. Someday I will be good enough to be a master. Someday I will be good enough to be loved. Someday I will be good enough to be of service. It is of course a lie. You will never be good enough someday. You are good enough right now. When I opened my healing practice, I knew a lot less than I do right now, and yet I was able to help people. I'm sure a year or so from now I'll know a great deal more. You see we are always in the process of becoming. Every minute of our life we are becoming ourselves. By taking mastery out of the equation, we allow ourselves to embrace who and what we are. I have in essence given up on becoming a master, and elected instead to become more of who I am in this life.
So how about you? Are you waiting for your so called perfected self to feel worthy? Do you think you need to be a master to be of service? Do you entertain fantasies of an unencumbered journey through life? Well you might want to think twice and remember Dorothy wanted to go over the rainbow, but when she got there she found evil witches, flying monkeys, and charlatan wizards. So why not click your heels together and wish to be who you are. Let yourself off the hook. You don't have to be a master today, only yourself.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
Friday, October 2, 2015
The Fires of Creation
Greetings all,
It's the first weekend in October and that means one thing for me every year. The St. James art fair has been something I've been going to ever since I was a teenager. I've gone when it has been raining (like today), when it has been over a hundred degrees and people were melting in their booths, and I've been when snow flurries have been coming down. I walked the whole thing when I was half dead one year. It is something I don't miss. I look forward to it every year. It is held in an old part of town with victorian style homes and little city gardens. Tall oaks shade the city blocks in the area and gas lamps light the sidewalks at night.
This time of the year the leaves can just be at the edge of green or they can be in full fall splendor. After a season of growth I start to turn inwards. With all the creativity of hundreds of artists packed together in a few blocks, something magical happens. Summer has a kind of magic, but mostly it is filled with activity and getting out and about. The intensity of the sun can make it hard to focus on the mysteries. Here at the edge of the waning year, there is a sense of magic in the air. At the fair, I feel that if I stepped around the corner at the right time I'd find myself in another world cross wise to our own.
People who know me personally are aware that I make art as well as do healing work. It was something I came to late, almost by accident. However, years ago on another fair day in October I met a most peculiar artist. She made really interesting paintings done mostly in tones of blue (blue is my favorite color). She immediately started talking to me when I came into her booth. She told me all about her work and how she started making it after a near death experience. All her paintings were recounting her journey into the beyond. She had never been a painter before, but she had been told to paint what she saw. When she looked at me she said, "You're an artist too." I told her sorry but although I liked art I wasn't any good at it, but she persisted in her conviction that I was an artist. I did end up buying a small print from her that I liked. It was three or four years later that I took my first pottery class. I ended up going back to school for a second degree in art. Now people know me as either an artist or a wizard. I'm happy with either title they're almost the same thing in my head. I never saw that painter again after first year she never came back to the fair, but I still remember that spark of magic that passed between us.
I mention all of this because today as I was walking amongst the different booths someone started asking me questions about some of the work. They assumed I was the artist. Apparently there is something that I radiate that makes people think artist. One of the artists I'm friends with told me I practically ooze creativity. I haven't really felt like much of an artist lately. I've hardly done anything visual in months. I've been too busy working and writing. However I've decided to take a break from editing my book for its print version and delve back into the visual arts. The spirit of creativity and magic go hand in hand. Imagination, visions, dreams, and shaping are all ingredients in both media.
"Blah blah blah Mooneagle self aggrandizement," I'm sure you're thinking. There is a point that is relevant to you I promise. You see creativity is something that we are taught out of in our culture. We are all creative and then at some point most of us stop expressing ourselves visually, musically, or theatrically (I mean real theatre not personal drama). As we get older, most of us are passive consumers of the so called "elite" creatives. There isn't anything wrong with that. I mean we're not all meant to be sculptors, but we are convinced we have no creativity or talent. This is a problem. If we go along with the principle that we create our life then we are not living up to our potential. We need to flex our creative muscles to help us manifest and shape our lives. You don't have to be a great painter, musician, actor, poet, or author to add to the beauty of your world. You need to shape your vision of your life and the more you exercise your creativity the easier it will be to mold your life. If you can't picture it then it will be a lot harder to bring it into being. There is nothing as empowering as creating something. The first time I realized I could bring something out of the picture in my head into this world it was an epiphany. I felt powerful like I could create anything.
So how about you? Do you deny your own creative impulses? Are you a good cook and claim you aren't creative? Do you tell great stories to your friends and coworkers and think you have no muse? Are you a gardener who brings forth many fruits and flowers? Is your home a haven of beauty and warmth, but you think of yourself as without talent? Well STOP IT! You are a human being and that means you are inherently creative. As we move into the colder months, start tending the hearth fires of creation within yourself and see what you bring forth.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
It's the first weekend in October and that means one thing for me every year. The St. James art fair has been something I've been going to ever since I was a teenager. I've gone when it has been raining (like today), when it has been over a hundred degrees and people were melting in their booths, and I've been when snow flurries have been coming down. I walked the whole thing when I was half dead one year. It is something I don't miss. I look forward to it every year. It is held in an old part of town with victorian style homes and little city gardens. Tall oaks shade the city blocks in the area and gas lamps light the sidewalks at night.
This time of the year the leaves can just be at the edge of green or they can be in full fall splendor. After a season of growth I start to turn inwards. With all the creativity of hundreds of artists packed together in a few blocks, something magical happens. Summer has a kind of magic, but mostly it is filled with activity and getting out and about. The intensity of the sun can make it hard to focus on the mysteries. Here at the edge of the waning year, there is a sense of magic in the air. At the fair, I feel that if I stepped around the corner at the right time I'd find myself in another world cross wise to our own.
People who know me personally are aware that I make art as well as do healing work. It was something I came to late, almost by accident. However, years ago on another fair day in October I met a most peculiar artist. She made really interesting paintings done mostly in tones of blue (blue is my favorite color). She immediately started talking to me when I came into her booth. She told me all about her work and how she started making it after a near death experience. All her paintings were recounting her journey into the beyond. She had never been a painter before, but she had been told to paint what she saw. When she looked at me she said, "You're an artist too." I told her sorry but although I liked art I wasn't any good at it, but she persisted in her conviction that I was an artist. I did end up buying a small print from her that I liked. It was three or four years later that I took my first pottery class. I ended up going back to school for a second degree in art. Now people know me as either an artist or a wizard. I'm happy with either title they're almost the same thing in my head. I never saw that painter again after first year she never came back to the fair, but I still remember that spark of magic that passed between us.
I mention all of this because today as I was walking amongst the different booths someone started asking me questions about some of the work. They assumed I was the artist. Apparently there is something that I radiate that makes people think artist. One of the artists I'm friends with told me I practically ooze creativity. I haven't really felt like much of an artist lately. I've hardly done anything visual in months. I've been too busy working and writing. However I've decided to take a break from editing my book for its print version and delve back into the visual arts. The spirit of creativity and magic go hand in hand. Imagination, visions, dreams, and shaping are all ingredients in both media.
"Blah blah blah Mooneagle self aggrandizement," I'm sure you're thinking. There is a point that is relevant to you I promise. You see creativity is something that we are taught out of in our culture. We are all creative and then at some point most of us stop expressing ourselves visually, musically, or theatrically (I mean real theatre not personal drama). As we get older, most of us are passive consumers of the so called "elite" creatives. There isn't anything wrong with that. I mean we're not all meant to be sculptors, but we are convinced we have no creativity or talent. This is a problem. If we go along with the principle that we create our life then we are not living up to our potential. We need to flex our creative muscles to help us manifest and shape our lives. You don't have to be a great painter, musician, actor, poet, or author to add to the beauty of your world. You need to shape your vision of your life and the more you exercise your creativity the easier it will be to mold your life. If you can't picture it then it will be a lot harder to bring it into being. There is nothing as empowering as creating something. The first time I realized I could bring something out of the picture in my head into this world it was an epiphany. I felt powerful like I could create anything.
So how about you? Do you deny your own creative impulses? Are you a good cook and claim you aren't creative? Do you tell great stories to your friends and coworkers and think you have no muse? Are you a gardener who brings forth many fruits and flowers? Is your home a haven of beauty and warmth, but you think of yourself as without talent? Well STOP IT! You are a human being and that means you are inherently creative. As we move into the colder months, start tending the hearth fires of creation within yourself and see what you bring forth.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
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