Musings

Musings

Thursday, April 30, 2015

Traveling Days

Greetings all,

It's May eve and besides it being derby time around here it is also a special night in the pagan calendar. Tomorrow is the celebration of Beltane.  Tonight is one of the nights where the veil between the worlds is the thinnest.  In the fall we have Halloween where the veil thins between the living and the dead.  In the spring at Beltane the veil between the worlds of man and faery are thin.  In years past I would be outside with baked goods as an offering.  I've even sat out in the middle of the woods in a circle.  These days there just doesn't seem to be the space to do that.  I do miss it, but I also know that those days shall come again.  The good folk are neither gone nor forgotten in my heart.

The night before Beltane was known as a traveling day for faeries.  The summer court was preparing to ascend and rule over the light half of the year and the growing season, and the winter court was packing out until All Hallows Eve.  These days are cross quarter days on the old calendar where the seasons are in flux halfway between an equinox and the solstice.  Emotions can be heightened and adventure is around seemingly every corner.  Perhaps it is fitting that I shall join the faeries on their sojourn this year.  For tomorrow is a traveling day for me.  I once again take off for the Universal Life Expo.  This time I'm not just helping out in a booth (although I do like doing that) I'm also giving a talk about the ancestral healing work I've been doing.  It's kind of a big deal for me.  It will be the largest audience I've had in real time and it's going to be recorded.

There is a little known statistic out there about people's greatest fears.  It states that when surveyed the number one fear people report having is public speaking, the second…death.  Just let that sink in for a moment.  I've spoken in front of groups before, in fact I seem to do it routinely after all I do teach classes.  The funny thing is I got out of the speech class requirement when I was in college.  This must be karmic or fate because it seems like my journey has been taking me more and more into the public arena.  Tuesday I was on a webcast radio show.  This year I will also be mentioned in an independent film that a friend is producing.  I also will have a book out in a few months. This seems to be the year where I'm going to be out there for the world to see.

Like faery I've lived sort of in a twilight space.  I've not let the spotlight shine too bright on me for any length of time.  It all comes back to fear and being insecure. Yes the Mooneagle is insecure just like everyone else.  I feel like I've been very much supported by the woodland folk the past decade and now it is time for me to step out into the sun.  So it is very appropriate that I will be embarking on my next greatest venture on their big day.

So I finally feel like I am getting somewhere, but where exactly that is yet I'm not sure and GPS doesn't work in the spirit world.  I know me me me what about you you you?  On this traveling day when the veils are thin what path do you find yourself traversing?  Are you moving towards something or just away from something?  Can you see how all the twists and turns actually took you where you needed to go (if not where you wanted to go)?  Who has been your sponsor on this magic carpet ride? Do you have an idea of where you want to go?  Are you waiting for the "moment"?  If you were I'm here to be your cosmic kick in the pants to get you moving.  It's time so get to packing all your necessities and get on out the door.  The road is calling, the wind is up…it's a traveling day.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle


Sunday, April 26, 2015

Frustrations

Greetings all,

If you ever have felt like everything is changing and yet nothing has changed then you have known what I have been feeling like.  This week I've been face to face with my old nemesis,  frustration.  I wish I could say I missed our sparring matches, but I do my best to remain honest in my blog posts.

I am quite familiar with frustration.  It is the feeling of knowing that something must change paired with the inability to access that change.  It is having all the tools in your kit except the one you need.  It is being stuck in traffic or hitting every red light when you are desperately trying to be on time.  It sucks.  This is where I have been even amidst all the plans and behind the scenes progress.  To me it came to a head today when I kept forgetting things and having to go back into the house, missing the correct cycle of lights, and then forgetting my login to clock in at my weekend job.  This had all the makings of one of those, "Momma said there'd be days like this."  Then I remembered I have magic and tools to help me shift and reset.  So after a few moments of being a pity whore I did what any sensible wizard would do (no there were bystanders turned into toads), I used the tools I have.

Here is the thing, many of us have skills to cope and turn ourselves around.  For some unknown reason we forget all of them when we're in a funk or frustrated.  We become emotionally invested in the linearity of events, and how those events should make us feel.  It's easy to apply tools of transformation when we're in that space of peace and things are going our way, but try doing it after someone has been a total dick to you.  Try doing it when you didn't sleep well the night before or you get hit with unexpected expenses.  This is the real test, to see if you remember your Jedi training when you're in the pit fighting for a way out.  There is a  secret...USE THE FORCE!

I'm happy to say that today I did turn my attitude around.  I used tools I have recently learned and others I have had for years.  I always tell my students the less you feel like practicing your tai chi the more likely it is that you need to.  Well I did practice with what I know and I not only turned myself around I got a new perspective on frustration.  It occurred to me that in the past great frustration often immediately preceded a breakthrough or shift. Rather than looking at it as the enemy maybe I should recognize it as the harbinger of change.  Frustration is a build up of energies and all change takes a certain amount of energy to pass the threshold to initiate it.  It can only build for so long before something has to happen.

So does this apply to you?  Are you feeling stuck, mired in what is and despairing of what should be?  Are you emotionally invested in a lackluster reality play?  What would happen if you recognized your frustrations were either pointing the way or a prelude to a big shift?  How does that change the emotional landscape of the future map you have in your mind?  Try looking at frustration as your ally instead of your adversary and remember to bring your tool box with you this week.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Sunday, April 19, 2015

En Garde

Greetings all,

I've been playing catch up this week since my return from Cincinnati.  The third week of the month saw my second meditation group hosted, new clients, and two parties.  It seemed every time I turned around new plans were springing up.

En garde is a fencing term used to alert opponents in a match that the sparring is about to begin.  It is of french origin meaning on guard.  As I was moving through the crowd at the kickoff to the Derby Festival I was acutely aware of my guard.  I have become more aware of how often I am on high alert with shields up.  My defensive stance can often make me seem cold or standoffish, and I admit I am not the warmest person you'll meet.  I do think though I am warmer than the impression I give off when my defenses are raised.  The ego can be either watchful guardian or a warden, or even both.  Our ego's primary concern is in fact our well being, sometimes it just overshoots the mark.

In doing healing work I often come across energetic barriers that people have over their hearts.  They appear as solid in the aura and can look like stone or steel doors.  I'm the first to say that such things serve a purpose…for a time, but such rigid barriers are not useful for the long term.  Over time it keeps out as much good or even more than the bad it was meant to protect us from.  We become starved from the emotional disconnection and if we continue in this way it can warp our perception.  We become even more distrustful and we attract untrustworthiness into our life.  So we shore up our defenses, build higher walls and thus the cycle continues.

Currently I am doing a lot of emotional work, and I am discovering that I have turned a lot of social interactions into minefields where there were only meadows.  I have created gates and locked doors to keep out the heavy actions of others only to find it wherever I turn.  This isn't the world only my reflection of it upon the moat of my self isolation.  I am of course exaggerating for effect, but the core of truth is there.  I have loosened some of the doors in my psyche the past few years and let some few people inside my walls.  My life is richer for it.  Still I struggle with tearing down the walls.  I have to learn to trust in outstretched hands rather than a stone facade.  It is not good for us to be on watch all the time.  It is not living it is surviving, and I want to live.

So what about you?  Are at the ready, shield arm raised high with your rapier poised in your other hand?  Do your defenses  color your perceptions of those around you?  How much good have you missed holed up in your fortress?  What would happen if you put a few nice windows in?  What if you got an easier latch on those doors?  How much life can you let into yourself?  I do not suggest you leave all your doors wide open day and night with no cares on whom traverses the threshold, but I do think a frank assessment on a case to case basis should be your guide.  Ponder your defenses and see if perhaps you can let one or two guardsmen go.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Friday, April 10, 2015

Special Effects

Greetings all,

This weekend sees me in many places at once.  I shall be attending Victory of Light helping my friend in his booth vending stones and wonders.  I shall also have my artwork locally at the Mighty Kindness Earth Day Hoot down at Waterfront park.  This did not require mastery of time and space (though I highly recommend that if you can pull it off) it only required a little cooperation from friends.  I'm seeing a lot of things come together lately.  I have also seen in an increase in what I term "special effects" in the work I do.

I often think that Hollywood has spoiled us with movies and television when it comes to magic and the psychic realm.  In my experience most things are subtle which isn't to say they aren't powerful and meaningful they just don't come with lots of fireworks…usually.  I have on occasion seen some real doozies.  This generally happens when two opposing forces meet.  Over the years though I had sort of given up on the idea of a special effects department when it came to my work.  I just assumed my special effects budget was on par with an independent film.

Funny how just as I had let it go things start to happen.  I should mention that the special effects are not the goal of my services or practices.  I do want some measurable results but they don't have to announce themselves in a blazing banner across the sky.  I'd grown content with the subtle magics and smoothing the way for things to happen.  I'd been okay with seeing just enough for my clients to give them value and good service, I didn't need to be flashy.  Just in the past few months I have had events where my special effects budget went into a normal studio range and took me out of the indy scene.  I'm excited by this but at the same time I am wary.  I don't want to get addicted to the idea of the spectacle and flourish.  If there is one thing I have learned is when you try to make something like that happen it rarely does.  It's best to appreciate it when it does and then not aim for it.

One of my teachers talked about this once.  She told me when she started out on her mystical path she was very interested in what she called "phenomena"  and later on she became more into the spiritual truth behind such things.  The phenomena still happen but it isn't what she is trying for anymore.  People may look for it, but a change of heart or a lessening of the mind's burdens give more lasting effects then the flash of spirit lights.  For me I would like just enough special effects to let me know something has happened, and I don't need it all the time.  I prefer to use my special effects budget to get better scripts for life.  It is a natural drive to look for the mysterious and the other.  I'd even call it healthy so long as you don't expect spirit to put on a magic show to amuse you.

So you may be wondering how any of this applies to you.  Well how much pop and fizzle do you expect out of the mysteries?  Do you require blockbuster special effects to snap you out of the boxed dream you're living in?  Do you require 3-D and surround sound to feel as if spirit is speaking with you?  If so you may wish to rethink your position.  Generally when someone has blown their budget on special effects in the business it is because they don't have much to convey.  The art of the spectacle replaces good storytelling or in this case good living.  Now I'm not suggesting you don't splurge on a good visual now and then, but always remember what truly matters…the story.  Now that I have milked this metaphor for all its worth ask yourself what would it take to change my perspective?  How much proof do I need?  Does it matter how that proof is delivered?  When we start limiting how we can accept something we limit what we receive across the board.  Be open be, aware, invest yourself in what matters, forget about the special effects, because when you do that's when the real magic starts to happen.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Saturday, April 4, 2015

Cocooning

Greetings all,

To answer some questions, I'm fine I haven't drowned.  Yes my city flooded some, and there was a major factory fire, and some roads collapsed, but I am personally ok.  It's been a raucous week here, and I am grateful for a bit of  respite.  I gave my first public talk about the Ancestral Healing work that I offer, and it went very well.  I had yet another enjoyable game night which also included philosophical discussions on the existence of a God (or Gods I like to think of myself as an equal opportunity deist).  I had some new clients and I am prepping artwork for a fair next week.  All in all it's been a joyfully packed week.

 For those of you that don't know I do a rattling prayer ceremony every Friday which I send out to people on my list.  I'm up around 70 people right now on my personal list.  That ceremony also includes people from my year program premium membership and I've been doing it steadily for about 2 years.  I set up my mesa and rattle for at least 10-15 minutes while I focus on the prayers.  It has over time evolved into a ceremony where I honor the Creator, the Earth and all the spirit helpers that I work with and rely upon.  Then I send out the prayer to the people on the list.   Each week I snap a photo of the mesa set up and email that out so that people have a visual record of the week's ceremony.  Sometimes the setup is very elaborate and I sing and chant while I rattle.  Other times it is as simple as I can make it.  For me when I designed this ceremony I wanted to be sure it was something I could commit to doing no matter what.  Whether I have been on the road, at home sick as a dog, or just bone tired it gets done.  I'm not always as focused when I am exhausted or ill but I still send out the prayers.

What I have noticed is that in the past 2 months or so is I have also had a change in my ceremonies.  My mesa more often than not has remained closed for ceremony.   To those who think the mesa setup is the prayer that is only the visual representation of the ceremony.  The real ceremony is me shaking my rattle honoring Spirit and asking for prayers on everyone's behalf.  Still there is some symbolism to how I feel called to set up the mesa.  Recently I have been doing a lot of heart healing work.  I have softened the inner feelings of my heart.  The mesa represents your heart's fire and right now it just feels appropriate to keep it bundled as if it is bandaged recovering from old wounds.  Although it also reminds me of a cocoon holding the inner workings together as they are remade.

In the quest for authenticity we sometimes may feel as if we have to shout out for all the world to hear who we are and what we feel about it.  I don't think that is always necessary.  Entrance into our hearts is not for everyone who just wanders in off the street.  Now I don't mean that we should be fake with people, but I don't think just anyone gets the exclusive on our inner lives and feelings.  There is with social media the rush to share all, but we don't generally share the bits we struggle with or carry shame about.  Most people have Facebook pages that are as manicured as a suburban lawn. So just now I am drawn in with my  heart even as I work to open it.  Still access is not instantly granted and I believe firmly that is how it should be.  There are some people you owe no explanations, and you are under no obligation to correct someone's mistaken impression of you.  Some people see me as guarded and they are right, and I'm not sorry about that.  I am naturally introverted and public interaction challenges me.  I am in the process of becoming and right this moment I need that space apart to reform so I can emerge from the cocoon spreading fresh wings with a heart ready to soar.

So how about you?  Have you been feeling the need to draw in a bit?  Do you feel tired trying to simultaneously be wide open and feel loving to yourself?  What if you chose to love yourself and forgot about being transparent to all.  We all live in the between spaces of perceptions and reflections.  Our inner selves are our own to share or not as we so choose.  Maybe you need to wrap your mesa up tightly right now, or maybe you need to spread all your sacredness out on the table for the world.  You decide no one else.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle