Holding Back

Greetings all,

Hope your week went well.  Mine flew by and I am once more on the road.  I'll be working at a big psychic fair this weekend in Sharonville, OH called Victory of Light.  I work at my friend's crystal booth a few times a year and it's always a nice break to get out of town.  This fair usually marks the end of my traveling season until spring.  Winter is not the time for road trips, at least not in my aging chariot.

Week by week life presents me with challenges and opportunities.  These become grist for the mill of this blog.  I am not trying to be narcissistic (it comes naturally without effort), but I hope that my experiences can shed light on some of yours.  More often than not I have found that my own struggles parallel the issues that many others face.  We are all human (mostly anyways I haven't done a serious poll) and that means we have similar needs.  One need in particular is to grow and sample new experiences and relationships.

So much of what we do is driven by our emotions.  However due to societal pressures we tend to hold back our feelings and not only fail to express them but to even let ourselves fully feel them.  Holding back is something I catch myself doing a lot.  Finding out what is behind that is crucial if we want to live deep meaningful successful lives.  For me it is fear.  Sounds simple yes, well it is not just one fear.  This fear has layers and flavored sprinkles.  There is for example the fear of offending or hurting someone.  There is the fear of failure as well as the fear of success.  There is the fear of disappointing the ones I care about.

Failure covers a lot of ground.  The road to any sort of self growth means making mistakes.  Depending on our schooling and general upbringing we can get conditioned into thinking of mistakes as the most horrible thing that could happen.  Mistakes are either unfortunate things we have to suffer through, teachable moments, or possibly even break through experiences.  There is an old saying that says, "Your last mistake is your best teacher."  As an artist (yes dear reader I have another career outside of metaphysical services) I struggle with this demonization of mistakes,  I can get fixated on an outcome and hold back if I am uncertain I can achieve it instantly.  The best ideas usually take several attempts or more (it took me several years to come up with a blue glaze I was happy with) to realize.  When I get stuck in that loop of doubt it often leads to procrastination or not putting in much effort.   The odd thing is that some of my best creations have come out of "mistakes" that were really happy accidents. Sometimes a wrong turn leads you down a road that is better than where you planned to go.

This weekend I intend to shine out my light.  I am not holding back.  What about you?  Are you stifling yourself?  Do you bite back your emotions, desires, talents or dreams?  What would happen if you embraced that raw spark within yourself and followed it.  What if that flickering light let others know it was okay to be both imperfect and loved?  What if you allowed yourself to fully geek out about what you love?  Try it out don't hold back and watch your light shine.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle