The Song Beneath the Song

Greetings all,

Welcome to summer's country. It came on rather suddenly, The cicadas burst forth from the soil and just like, that the sound of the summer wind was in the air. Normally I associate this with the late summer, but we seem to be at ground zero for this particular brood.

Every season has its sounds, its own ambient song. The winter has its winds and the quiet of snow. Spring has its bird song, fall has the rustling of the fallen leaves. This year apparently is one of the 17 year brood in this area. It's funny considering cicadas have played a part in my writing for over 20 years and now this year with my first book of stories out they have come. I invented silver cicadas in Tales of Mistfall, the only source of the magical metal, iridescium, also called rainbow-silver. A strange synchronicity, I couldn't have timed it better. For those that think I did it on purpose, I'm not that patient of a planner.

 Many people have complained about the noise and being dive bombed by swarms of insects. I have relished the emergence. On an aesthetic level I'm fascinated by insect forms, but the frequency of their song has also been comforting to me. Several times in the past week, I've sat on my deck after a tai chi or chi kung practice and meditated using their song to take me deeper. I've been using binaural beats and hemisync albums to meditate for years, but it is good to remember that we can use nature and its sounds to calm our minds. In fact, hearing different groups of cicadas at varying distances created something akin to a binaural effect. 

While I may not be a great planner, I am good at recognizing opportunity. One of my best friends recently bought recording equipment that we've been playing around with as we launch into creating a podcast (I know, I don't have enough projects). I wanted to get a sample of the cicada sound, so last week we headed out to a more secluded spot where the sounds of mowers and traffic wouldn't compete with the cicadas. We edited out the noise and we had a beautiful ambient track, summer preserved in audio format. Not content with that, I dropped a binaural tone at the theta frequency at a lower volume to bolster the meditative effect. I am extraordinarily proud of it and put it up for my patreon supporters to enjoy. 

You might think well that's the end of that then, wrap up this post, but wait there's more. I also happened to mention my experience of the cicadas to one of my teachers and she suggested I take a shamanic journey to them.  So I did, and I used my own ambient track to do it. I thanked them for their song and asked why I felt so connected with it, while others can't stand it. They told me that I heard 'the song beneath the song'. When I asked for an explanation they said my mind couldn't conceive it, but my soul understood it. The song is larger than the mind apparently, but they did share that the sound and frequency of their song was about renewal and acted as energetic reset for our bodies. Make of that what you will. Perhaps in the future these sounds and their frequencies will be studied for the physiological effects they have on us and the environment. 

Why am I sharing this?  Well for one, it is cool. I got to partner with nature and my friend to create something magical. What could be better than that? It's been a dark time lately, but I have connected with loved ones deeply, and nature has lended a helping hand to heal my despair. I believe that all of us have something that calls to us in nature. Maybe for you it is birdsong, or the song of wind chimes, the roll of distant thunder, the crashing of waves, gentle rain, or the babbling of a brook. There is an element of nature that brings you back to yourself and restores you. I challenge you to go out there and find it, because right now we need you whole and healed for the task ahead. 

Peace and Blessings,

Thomas Mooneagle

 

Together

 

Greetings all,

Summer is just around the corner and for me that means travel and workshops. This summer I'm really excited to teach Quantum Wizardry. It's basically how I do all the magical things, and now you can too.

As I observe society, (okay if I'm being honest as I mercilessly judge it) I've noticed a pattern. The story of  progress has always seem to come about by people in power using coercion of varying levels to make everyone else do the work to make things happen. Yes accomplishing something of value often requires sacrifice. Every piece of food on your plate had to pass through many hands to reach you. It takes the collective effort of thousands to feed us at each and every meal. It's downright impressive. The thing is we throw out close to 40% of our food in my country. Why is there so much waste? Well we like the story of hard work, and pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps. If you don't measure up to the societal standard of productivity, we'd rather throw food in the trash to rot, rather than let you have it. 

The sad thing is that as technology and economic systems change, more and more people can't quite make ends meet. The tragedy of it all is that this is by design. This is an outgrowth of thousands of years of history where rulers focused on strategies of coercion. Often times there were whips and chains involved, and not in that fun sexy way either. Once absolute monarchies faded from prominence, economic means were brought to bear to force the population to do the bidding of the people with the most resources: build this thing or starve, break your body in a factory or starve, work 2 jobs to barely afford to not starve....

I would like to point out that not every society went down this route. However due to colonialism most of those societies were either exterminated or folded into the current power structure. Work became a divine mandate. What really sucks is that the work tends to be the hardest and most unpleasant also happens to be the least economically rewarding. During the pandemic a lot of these minimum wage workers were renamed 'essential workers' of course we didn't vote to improve their wages. We just gave lip service to their sacrifice. 

Why am I bringing this up? Well I see our civilization at a crossroads. We could continue down the path of coercion by psychopaths to determine the future, or we could try something different. Some of you may think that society would collapse without people being forced through the miserable gears of late stage capitalism. I mean what's left once we eliminate systems of coercion? The answer I think is learning to build systems of consensus. See the problem isn't productivity. The problem is productivity that doesn't serve people. Right now productivity only serves the profit of wealthy shareholders. Any positive benefits that come out of that are basically side effects, and as the economic game gets more refined those, side effects are being phased out. 

There are hard jobs that need to be done, like harvesting crops, plumbing, construction, shipping, caregiving, and sanitation to name just a few. Our civilization depends on these and many others, but there are a lot of projects that really don't support human life and aspiration. Those things that take up a lot of resources but only serve the ego and pocketbook of very few individuals, but what about the visionaries you say? How can they change the world if they can't force the population to build their new future? I don't know maybe they should try inspiring people instead. 

So what about you? Are you tired of systems that don't serve humanity or the planet? Do you despair in the mindless drudgery you go through just to keep from starving? What if something else was possible? What if all the needs of people could be met? What if it still required sacrifice, but nobody was left behind? Would it be worth it? I think so, how about you?

Peace and Blessings,

Thomas Mooneagle

Media and Minds

 Greetings all,

Happy new year! This post was supposed to be an end of year wrap up sort of thing, but the holidays were a blur and this week I've been busy shoveling snow and staying warm. Lately as I have been reaching out and promoting my book I have also been telling the people closest to me about the stories and media I enjoy.  I was supposed to text a list to a friend of mine, but then I thought why not make it a post and share it with you half dozen people that read this. (I'm kidding it's more like 3 people, blogs are so 2008).

During the pandemic I consumed a ton of media as I wasn't getting out much. I barely left the house except for daily walks with my puppy. (He's 8 now but will forever be a puppy to me). I often will listen to podcasts on my walks when I am not catching up with a friend on the phone, they are also a favorite when I take a long roadtrip to help the time pass. So here is the current list.

1. Levar Burton reads 

This is Reading Rainbow for adults. Levar is one of the best narrators out there, and thanks to him I've discovered many new favorite authors (which I should make a list for too sometime)

2. Tanis

It's weird, creepy, and mixes in real life facts and mysteries. There are currently 5 seasons out and a 6th and final season coming soon. If you like the odd paranormal mystery vibe, this is for you.

3. Rabbits

By the same folks that did Tanis, but a completely different story. Imagine a game where the reality is the playing field. Watch out for the wardens in gray.

4. The Big Loop

A two season podcast also featuring short stories that range from ghost stories to sci-fi, some are very moving and lovely.

5. The Left Right Game

Another bizarre reality twisting story involving parallel worlds (hmmm I'm beginning to see a pattern in my tastes)

6. Welcome to Nightvale

Lovecraftian comedy does a small town public radio program. There are a lot of episodes and the lore keeps going, just remember "Nobody does a slice like Big Rico's pizza....nobody."

7. Family Ghosts

This ranges from funny to tragic to historically revealing the tagline for the show is "The stories are real, the ghosts are metaphorical."

8. Dumb Dumbs & Dragons

Ok, this one assumes you like roleplaying games, ridiculous character concepts, and running gags. Despite the bathroom humor you will come to care for our ragtag team of adventurers and NPCs. Maybe you missed the D&D hype the past few years, but if you wondered about it, then it's not a bad way to learn about the hobby.

9. Give Me Away

This is a sci-fi podcast. Imagine an alien ship crashes in the desert of the Southwest USA and screaming comes out of it. The ship is empty of passengers except for the computers where the consciousness of alien political prisoners have been uploaded into it and are constantly tortured. Their only way out is to download into a human host who has to share their body with them.  This had me riveted, the concept is high and the characters are rich and well portrayed. I can't wait for a 3rd season.

10. Unwell

Another gothic or perhaps slightly Lovecraftian podcast set in the fictional town of Mt. Absalom Ohio. Great characters, don't eat at the diner.

11. Midnight Burger

Last but not least. I have gotten several people hooked on this podcast about a diner that travels in time and space leaving a bit of well natured chaos in their wake. Do not cross Gloria, you don't want to goto war with her. They open at 6.

Well folks I am going to call it there. There are other good things out there, but this is enough to be getting on with for a while. I should note that the numbers don't correspond to a ranking, it's just a list of my favorites. I have laughed and cried with these and that says a lot. We are blessed to be alive in a time where there is so much creativity available to us. Having written my own stories I more fully appreciate all the effort that goes into bringing something to life. I've only recently started dreaming things from my own world of Mistfall. 

Let me know what you think of some of these suggestions and if you have something that you think I'd love let me know.

Peace and Blessings,

Thomas Mooneagle

Through the Mists

Greetings all,

How long has it been now since last I posted? Well if you saw the image on this post you know why it's been so long. I've been putting my writing energy into something else, namely my latest book, Tales of Mistfall.

When covid shut the world down, I like many others had a lot of time on my hands. I was only teaching once a week and that was through one-way streaming, meaning people could see me, but I couldn't see them. People sometimes mistake me for an extrovert since I put out content on youtube and on public posts like this one. Teaching requires me to be social, and that takes energy. When in person classes stopped for over a year, I found myself with an abundance of creative energy. I got back into my ceramics studio, and made work that I'd never managed to before. 

Being confined to the house and the daily walks with the dog basically meant my mind had to roam inside its own confines. I started looking back on some of my work that had the seeds of ideas for a setting; that setting became Mistfall. My plan was to write my way out of the pandemic, and to a large extent I did. Originally I was just going to do a few stories and see if I could get some friends to start a virtual writers group. I found as I wrote though, I became more possessive of this world. It was my mind's second home, my time-share in the otherworld. 

After the first story, I penned another short piece in one sitting. Then the one after that took months. Each story I wrote, the world became more real to me, more enriched. Before I knew it, I had more ideas than I had time, especially once I went back to teaching in person again. All told this book took over four years, twice as long as my first book took. This one is considerably longer, and as I told a friend the first book was mostly me just writing down what I was told when in a journey. Mistfall on the other hand had to be built from the ground up. It had to have consistency, the world had to make sense.

Why am I telling you this? Well I just spent the last four years pouring my soul into this book, and I need to share just how big of a deal it is to me. Additionally, creating my own world has me thinking about how much we do this everyday. The mental landscape I live in is vastly different than most people I know.  Politics and religions tell stories about the world too, and many people confuse those stories with the the objective world. They are not, they are just stories. Personally, I prefer Mistfall to most of those stories of the world. 

How about you? What stories are shaping the world your mind inhabits? Are they true? If they are fiction, are they helpful? Do they make life easier, more enjoyable? Do the stories you hold close to your heart make you a better person? Let me know what you think and maybe we can share a tale or two, should we meet on the Endless Road.

Peace and Blessings,

Thomas Mooneagle

P. S. Here is a link to the book.   

https://www.amazon.com/Tales-Mistfall-Thomas-Mooneagle/dp/B0DP7K2HNT/ref=sr_1_1?crid=NJ8RUMMLEHAU&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.ErXPnL2xZ_9-r2N9UVq-EA.Gv70l_PNwQOmV3pBMi1zR5c_vlmPeLQGaHeRW5zFBq0&dib_tag=se&keywords=tales+of+mistfall&qid=1733258328&sprefix=%2Caps%2C144&sr=8-1

 

Mindset and Timing

 Greetings all,

It's been a long time coming. The past few years has seen me blogging less and less. My focus has shifted inward since 2019. For those 10s of people that actually still read blogs I should put this in context.  At the end of 2018 my last grandparent died. They were 98 at the time so it was not unexpected, in fact I had been given a heads up the summer before that they would be passing in the winter. I often told people it would have been greedy to ask for more time. Still it was a huge adjustment. I spent most of 2019 trying to grieve and rebalance and see what I wanted to do. When 2020 hit I was planning to finally expand and take my business to the next level. I was scheduled to teach a workshop in Manhattan in May of 2020...well we all know what happened next.

When covid hit I withdrew from the world. I mean most of us did. (Some delusional people refused to alter their lives at all). I was let go from most of my teaching jobs, and I wasn't able to see clients.  My income fell to almost nothing. I was completely isolated for over a year. I literally went almost a year and half without a single hug or human touch of any kind. Amidst all of this there was a level of political turmoil not seen since the civil war. When I finally emerged  and returned to teaching in person classes I was greeted with a staggering amount of loss. At least a dozen of my students and contacts had died, and those are just the ones I know about. 

So during this time a lot of folks were telling me to not be sad to stay positive and work on my mindset. This was the time they said to go out there and create transformation. That didn't go over well with me. I was in grief mode and was being told that those emotions were invalid. Concurrently all of my guides had me in a holding pattern.  I checked every few months after new developments and was always told the same thing, "WAIT."  So I waited, and waited, and waited. I waited for over 2 years. It is only really this year where I have been green lit to get out into the world and resume some of my activities. 

Magic, healing, and transformation techniques can do many things. You can bend reality more than you think. What you can't do is bend the whole world because it doesn't line up with your wants and needs. Lots of the inspirational posts people would use to try and shame me into acting spiritual (in other words smiling and ignoring the shit show that the world had become) really got under my skin.  I ended up having to reject all that and in some ways distance myself from my own power. It had after 2 and half years become pretty ingrained. I stopped trying to make anything happen for me, I stopped even thinking that anything could be good for me again. This was actually helpful at the time; it was a survival mechanism. It kept me safe during uncertain times.  

I don't want to you to think that the pandemic ruined my life.  While it took away with one hand it gifted me with the other. My creativity returned in a way I hadn't seen in years. My work in the studio progressed more in those 2 years than it had in over a decade. I started writing again (obviously not in my blog) and I am close to having a first draft of my first book of short stories set in a world that I created.  I became more savvy about live-streaming and teaching remotely. More importantly covid showed me what I really valued by its absence from my life. 

I'd been following my guidance to wait, but then when I came out of that even though I was working, I wasn't doing things for me. I wasn't allowing myself to dream of what I would like.  I had become accustomed to not getting what I want. This summer I began testing the waters. My guides finally stopped telling me to wait when I asked about my plans. I traveled to see friends and teach a workshop and it went great.  I've made more plans to teach workshops and expand out again. I recently had my first craft night since the before times, and I started swimming again. I am connecting with others and it is like water in the desert. 

Mindset does matter. It just didn't matter in the way the 'positive vibes only crowd' said it did. Mindset cannot change the world.  It only change how you relate to it, and more importantly how you relate to it has to change depending on the state of the world. You can't affirm a hurricane away or visualize the tide not coming in. You can't help but lose people in your life. It's the nature of our journey, every hello is also a goodbye some day. When covid was still just a news story about a virus in China, I remember getting together with some energy practitioners to see if we could shift the energy. Each of us got told something like, "Make your peace with it, this is happening."  

Why am I telling you all this?  Well I am coming to a place in life where I have to balance acceptance of what is, with using my abilities to get what I want. It is time to dream again while acknowledging the world and my place in it. I am having to learn when to use my energy and when to realize it isn't happening and stop wasting effort. Timing matters, there is a time be a go getter and a time to just vegetate and let others run around in circles. I might add it is not an easy lesson it requires a much less rigid mindset and temperament than I currently exhibit.  Still it is important because without this balance we can spend our lives wishing for what could be instead of exploring the riches in what is around us. 

So how about you?  Have you found the balance between making a life and accepting what comes your way? Have you forsaken your dreams at the cost of joy?  Have you abandoned all sense of shared reality for a delusion of desire?  Either ends of this spectrum is fine to pass through, but a terrible place to make your home. Be kind to yourself and others as you recalibrate your life path.  

Peace and Blessings,

Thomas Mooneagle

The Falling of Leaves

 

Greetings all,

When I wrote my first post this year way back in January I didn't know when I would write again.  I've had quite a few ups and a lot more downs. I also stated that I was putting my efforts towards my fiction, and I have been.  That has been the shining light for me this year.  I have over 60,000 words written so far.  I've been building worlds and I like it. Still the past few years for me have been years of continual loss combined with a lack of in person community.  This has taken a toll on my mental and physical health and grief has been my constant companion.

Today is the equinox ushering in autumn in the Northern hemisphere and spring in the lands below the equator. Fall brings in such a mix of feelings and memories for me.  It is at this time when I seem to miss people the most. I long for deep meaningful companionship and closeness. I delight in the colors of the season, but also mourn the loss of the green world. Holiday season begins in the fall and with that everything that comes with it. What I have noticed in me this summer is all that is still broken, and what may always be broken in myself and in the world.  That is a daunting realization. What if things don't get better?  What if I fail? What if this is as good as it gets? When we come against those questions we can feel crushed.  We live in a society that values winners, that rewards specialness, and that tells us only those that triumph deserve love and respect. It is deep and pernicious programming. It is difficult to fathom how much love we've withheld from ourselves and others because we didn't think it was earned yet.

As you can see my musings have been dark of late.  It is why I haven't been writing them down. It is terrible from a marketing perspective. I mean I've got magic I should be able to fix anything right?  I've often said if magic could solve all of your problems I wouldn't have any. You can't simply magic away feelings of not being enough. I like everybody struggle with feelings of unworthiness.  It is baked into our culture. 

Amidst all this I keep coming back to the same questions: how will I respond, what do I want my life to be about, what do I want to leave in my wake? All of this I put into my drumming ceremony for the equinox. Normally after I welcome the directions I do several rounds of drumming, the first is for gratitude, and then one to build energy, and finally the third to carry the prayers for myself and my community. This time I did one long round of drumming.  I asked to release the grief as the trees release their leaves, that tears nourish us like the rain nourishes and renews the land.  I asked that beauty be left in my wake. I asked for support. I asked for love and fellowship.  I asked for peace.  I asked for a path. I drummed and I walked the circle. I saw runes in the sticks on the ground, and one in particular kept forming, laguz. 

For me laguz is about the bond of love between people. It is the support and nourishment we receive from nature as it is the rune of water, but it is also the nourishment we receive from fellowship. Other than our material needs for sustenance and shelter this need is paramount to life. We are not solitary creatures. Love is the sun that lights our lives. As the darker months approach and the external sun fades we need that fellowship and closeness to warm our hearts and minds as the bitter winds begin to blow. 

When the world is uncertain I turn to ceremony to stabilize myself and my energy. I've drummed at the quarters of the year for a decade, and I've done a weekly rattling and prayer ceremony for almost as long. Sometimes I come away from them feeling better, sometimes I just come away from them.  It is the commitment and rhythm of them over time that does the work, that helps, and in the process helps others. Ceremony was the first psychological technology, it led to religion and systems of belief, but the foundation of it was in organizing the mind and body. It brought coherence to thought and action. It gave meaning to our place in the world and the seasons. The world is complex, but there are powerful simplicities within it as well. We are complex beings, but we are also simple in our needs. We require sustenance, shelter, safety, belonging, and meaning. These are our needs. The shape they take on changes from person to person and from one society to another, but it is the truth of being human that these needs must be met to find peace and contentment.

As I drove home from my ceremony in the park today, I noticed the changing light. I saw the trees still mostly holding onto their veil of green. I felt them in a way I hadn't for a while, as if they were whispering. As if the wind moving through them was singing a song to those who had the ears to hear it. There was a sense of mutual recognition, a greeting of old friends. For me kinship with the green and growing things was enough to bring a temporary respite, a fragile peace. In these days I take what I can get even if it is ephemeral. 

What about you? Is the changing season whispering words to you through the falling leaves? Are the winds stirring memories in the forest of your heart? Does Grace flow down the streams of your life blood? If you are feeling untethered go to the trees. Walk among their shade. Sit beside their roots. Greet them as dear friends. Do a kindness, and as they do themselves let go of your old leaves.

Peace and Blessings,

Thomas Mooneagle

Structure

 

Greetings all,

Happy New Year!  I recently got a message with a generous donation thanking me for my videos and my blog.  I was surprised as I didn't think anyone was reading my blog anymore.   For six years I put out weekly posts, and then I lost my drive. I'm not going to recommit to a weekly post. I am putting my efforts in writing elsewhere these days, but it is a good idea to occasionally share my thoughts.  The weekly posts began as a way to deal with my own internal thoughts and feelings. It was transformative in that aspect, but it also helped me develop my voice as an author. Which leads me to what I want to talk to you about.

I've been working on my 2nd book for the last 3 years.  I have now laid that one aside. Fear not, I haven't stopped writing, and I may yet revisit that book. Over the pandemic I have read a lot of books, and more importantly I have gotten back in touch with my desire to tell stories  Long before I wrote my first book I wrote fiction. At one point I even tried to write an epic fantasy novel with a friend. I look back on it now and think how bad that writing was. Well during my seclusion I revisited a seed of an idea I had, a world of my own that had a visual language similar to my artwork (although done much better of course). I called it Mistfall, it had been a hazy dream of an idea, until it wasn't. I have written 4 or 5 pieces set in it, and these will be part of a collection that I will publish at some point. 

I've been back to in person classes since the middle of the summer, and one thing I noticed was how much less time I spent writing. I had over 2020 fallen into very unstructured uses of time.  I had so much of it being isolated at home  I could be loose with it and still get lots done.  The past few months has seen a stalling of progress on all my creative fronts.  So I finally decided to structure in time for specific projects. Just like I have hours on the calendar for my classes and events, I now have hours blocked off for writing every week. Now when I get stuck on a scene I have to play around with it at least during the time allotted. Since I put down scheduled writing time I have finished 2 stories and begun a 3rd. Seeing how well this worked I've also put down scheduled time for meditation on the calendar, and I am getting more of that in as well. 

Self care or creative work was always being pushed back or put off. The thing is I need that to be able to succeed. If I want my business to succeed I need time to tend to my own passions and see to my own mental/physical health. I'm only a few weeks into this, and already I see where I need to schedule other times for leisure and rest. I like so many of us have gotten lulled into thinking that rest is something you do after achievement like a reward. The truth is rest is crucial for achievement. I had been depriving myself of it and my achievement went down not up. Currently I feel much better than I have in a while. I am resting more and getting more done. 

Why am I telling you this? Well, structure matters. If we haven't been seeing to our needs or meeting our goals, odds are that we don't have a structure that supports them. In many cases, the existing structure (or lack of one) is leading us to the exact opposite of what we want in our lives. We find time for what matters to us. If we put it down on our schedules we are more likely to prioritize it and stand firm with our boundaries with other people. Trust me other people will test you on this, but if you have a 1-2PM appointment for writing, all you have to tell people is that you have a standing appointment.  If you need more rest or mindfulness put a half hour nap or meditation on your schedule 4-5 days a week. If your appointment is with you and your couch honor it the same as you would a doctor's appointment.  Structure can be your friend if you shape it that way.

So how about you? Are you scheduling time for your needs and goals? Are you putting your own needs last? Do you let people talk you out of the time you need for yourself? If so maybe you need to get out your calendar and block off some time. People don't need to know what you appointment is or who it is with. They may press back at first, but stay firm. Over time they will adapt and you will feel better. Which will make the time you do give to them more meaningful.

Peace & Blessings,

Thomas Mooneagle