I hope your summer is finding you healthy and happy. This month particularly offers the fruits of the garden (tomatoes for me). Also a grand trine in the sky of Saturn, Jupiter and Neptune add a highly fortuitous energy into the mix for the season. The blessings of the summer sun have been raining down (in my region quite literally raining).
This week I have been tired. (Yes I am a night owl and no I haven't stayed up all night). Exhausted like I've been carrying a weight. It hit me this morning that what I thought was physical pain and exhaustion was actually emotional in nature. The first clue should have been when I was putting up my laundry this week; everything I had worn the prior week had been either faded blue or heather gray. There is nothing wrong with those colors, however there was a time in my life where my wardrobe was nothing but grays, faded blues, and sage green. That was also one of the periods of my life where I was battling through a depression.
We are all vessels of emotion. Our passions and pain fill us. When we don't let them flow however we dam the river and start to stagnate. I recently had an interaction with someone that I would prefer to avoid (for the rest of this life at any rate). It brought back all sorts of emotions that had been locked away inside: rage, sadness, loss. Forgiveness would be the course to let go and allow the pent up feelings to flow out and reestablish a healthier flow. What do you do though when you are still so upset about something that you can't forgive someone?
When I spoke with a friend of mine she told me I should pray for the person I was angry with. The suggestion filled me with revulsion, and I told her I don't think I can bring myself to do that. I am sure many of you have felt this about someone who has hurt you deeply. Well she relayed a story about a teacher of hers that did prayers for the person he was angry with. (Warning the next sentence may offend some of you). The prayer went something like this, "God bless that FUCKING bitch!" He did that every day until the fire drained out of him and he was able to offer a more serene prayer. More time passed and the person actually came to him to make amends.
I don't tell you this to raise your hopes that if you start praying for people they will come to you and apologize. What I do think is that it will at least clear the pathways and allow for us to put down our burdens. We can become a clearer vessel for spirit. You have to start where you are. You can't will yourself into serenity when you feel rage. You have to move through that rage and bless anyways. Otherwise you just stuff it down and eventually cause an emotional clog in your etheric pipes. So while I won't stop trying ho'o pono pono I may add the authentic rage prayer to my repertoire.
What about you? Have you been carrying an extra burden of emotional charges lately? Are old feelings and issues waiting just below the surface to be triggered? Are you waiting for some peaceful enlightenment to unburden yourself of toxic feelings? Maybe you could start with how you feel about those people that are bothering you, maybe even offer a God Bless to that Asshat who really gets you untethered.
Peace and Blessings,