Sunday, December 10, 2017
I hope you had a wonderful week. Mine has been on the whole very satisfying. It has been full of dreams, journeys, classes, games, and things falling together. At times I've felt like I've been pulled in ten directions at once, but these last three days have me feeling a bit more settled.
Last night was the first snow of the season. It came late in the afternoon without much accumulation, but the visibility for a half hour was quite low. Often it seems if the first frozen precipitation falls on the weekend our city doesn't feel the need to treat the roads. Well I was more than half way to a holiday dinner party when I lost control of my car the first time. Before the night had ended I must have skidded at least half a dozen times. Luckily I drive at a reasonable pace and with the road conditions I was more sedate in my speed than normally. Still I was tempted to turn around and go home, but with all I had accomplished I felt like I should be social. It is the season of gathering.
Thinking of all the trouble people go through to get together through less than ideal traveling conditions has me thinking of how social we are as a species. We live together in great numbers with relative peace all things considered. We seem drawn together at these times where the nights are long. Perhaps it is cultural, holiday times were always special growing up as they were for my parents before me, and their parents before them. Would we observe the season in the same way without that backdrop of ancestral history? I think we would.
All over the world there seems to be some observance of these high and low times as it comes to the sunshine in the year. Whether it is Christmas, Yule, Chanukah, Diwali, or Saturnalia the darkness of the northern hemisphere has us gathering lights to banish the long night and beckon back the sun. The response from so many cultures shows me that there is some deeper yearning that is met by gathering together and lighting fires and cheering on each other's inner light.
Why am I telling you this? Well many of us struggle with holidays. We compare our situations to cultural images of perfection and happiness that are unrealistic. Others of us may be estranged from family or friends. Still others have lost loved ones whose absence is even more keenly felt in these times of gathering.
As I live longer I have seen the holidays shrink, and rather than allow that grief, I have constant messages from media and my everyday life telling me how happy I should be. I have eschewed most work related parties this year because I find it difficult to keep the appropriate level of "cheer" at the ready. (It probably doesn't help matters that I don't imbibe alcohol either).
So in this time of gathering dark, I challenge you to bring your light. Be with others you care about. Enjoy their company. Allow your sadness for bygone days and friends to coexist with your appreciation of those that remain to you. That I believe is the true meaning of the season, not the manic dancing reindeer party machine, guzzling the eggnog. Be authentic in your joy and in your grief. Don't require anyone to fix it, and in return don't think you have to fix anyone else. Just share your light.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, December 3, 2017
Welcome to the holiday season! This week has been full of surprises. Mostly what has been showing up is potentials for growth in the coming year. Finding unlooked for opportunities, and openings into new ways of working and being has also been shaking open the doors of life.
I had a spontaneous movie night this week with a dear friend. We were looking around and the people in her apartment complex had some quite amusing WIFI network names. There was the ever popular FBI home surveillance network, but by far our favorite was "The Promise LAN." Of course it was password protected. You don't get in the promised LAN without the right key.
I've been finding lately that my working style with people has been shifting. It has become more of a partnership model rather than a sit back, and let me do the healing. (Note: I don't really do the healing, Spirit does that I just hold space). I've been engaging people to track patterns and issues along with me. I've been rethinking how much responsibility rests in my hands and how much in theirs. This has been creating more exciting, productive, and less tiring sessions.
I've thought about blocks and how we get in our own way. The Universe knows I trip myself up and self sabotage constantly. Getting to the bottom of the why's of that, looking at agreements, and changing them or at least the relationship to them has me working more like a coach these days. I still move energy and patterns around, but I find that facilitating and presenting people with the keys to their own blocks is far more effective than if I try and unlock their power for them. I'm excited again about the future rather than just worried. I'm excited about bringing more value and clarity to those that work with me. I'm feeling greater confidence and that makes my work go much smoother.
The biggest block I have found is the belief that we can't get better, can't get what we want, or can't change. If we don't deal with that pattern we can move mountains of energy and everything will stay locked into place. I recently had a spirit tell me that I wouldn't let myself dream. I knew exactly what they meant. I settled, because I never thought I could get what it was I wanted. I'm done playing small though, and I'm going after what I want.
So why am I telling you this? Well we get stuck sometimes in life, and we give up pursuing our passions. We let go of having something in our life that lights us up from the inside. When we do that we become locked into the prison of mass consciousness and limitations. I'm not saying that we should follow through on every desire and impulse, but we must at least allow ourselves the place to explore some of them.
So have you stopped making your personal wish list? Have you stopped being excited at life's possibilities? Have you tried to be "realistic" rather than idealistic? Well perhaps it is time you reexamined that approach. If you don't attempt something you have a 0% chance of success. If you allow yourself to dream, to wish, to attempt, then you may unlock the key to the Promised Land...you may also get the WIFI password.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, November 26, 2017
For those of you like me in the States, I hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving. I hope that you were able to gather with loved ones whether the bonds be of blood or friendship. One day out of the year I always know what my ceremony will be about. That is one thing I'm thankful for.
Every Friday is a day of ceremony for me. It has been for over 3 years now. I bring out my mesa and rattle prayers for my ever expanding list of blessed folks. So many people thank me each week for the prayers, but I really feel that I get the better end of the deal. This ceremony has become a cornerstone of my practice. It also always begins with gratitude. First to the Creator, then to Mother Earth and so on until I have thanked every being in spirit that has assisted me or my clients. That happens before any prayers are sent out. In giving thanks I honor those bonds, and show that I respect the spirits that answer when I call.
You will be tested this season. Yes I am speaking to you. The world we have dreamed is incomplete. It makes people feel unworthy of life. It requires us to constantly prove our worth and our deservingness to be here. In this season you will be told you must prove your love by buying trinkets. You will be told that you must if you wish to be worthy of respect and love. You will be shown stories of perfect homes, with perfect trees, perfect feasts, and perfect families. You will compare yourself to these fantasies. You will feel as if you have failed, because you don't have the boundless energy, enthusiasm, and emotional fluidity of these fables.
I'm all for a good story. However lately we have sacrificed depth for the window dressings of a story. We've gone in for special effects and the props department, and skimped on the writing. I don't quite feel the magic of the season. So as we gather this year, I have an idea. Be present with one another. Bring beauty into your home and families. Don't focus so much on having everything perfect or being filled with glee. We are going into the dark of the year. The important thing is we're going together.
Why am I telling you this? Well Christmas has swallowed Thanksgiving and has almost inhaled Halloween too. It has become more about economy than about any spiritual truth. Black Friday has passed, I did not participate. I never do. It was only recently that I found out that the title was due to the fact that it was the day that retailers finally go into the profit margin, hence they are in the black instead of the red. I always thought it meant that it dark and terrible you know like the black death. So in this time of blaring red and green neon advertisements I challenge you to reconnect with the seasons and nature's rhythm. I challenge you to stoke your inner fire and share it with those you care for. I challenge you to let yourself rest and enjoy the time. See what does for your holiday spirit.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, November 19, 2017
At times I like playing with the Photo Booth app on my laptop. This week has been one of monumental changes for me. Some of them are bittersweet, but ultimately helpful. Others are golden opportunities on the road ahead.
There was a time in my life when I would try every single new energy healing technique that I heard about. I was convinced that it would be the "thing" that would solve all my problems. This drive to deal with painful personal issues was very useful in amassing my technical knowledge. They call this pattern the wounded healer archetype. Basically it means that your own pain drives you to search for answers which ends up helping other people. At some point most wounded healers hit a barrier where there is no further they can go until they heal their own wounds. I feel like I am at that point.
Feeling trapped in a re-ocurring pattern can be very frustrating. Breaking free of it can be traumatic. It is often messy. As you can see above I'm trying to escape from the matrix. I've been working on patterns of respect, self worth, and my relationship to material wealth. So you know nothing major. What's been interesting is how the pieces have been falling together while other parts of my life have been falling apart. At the same time, I've been experimenting with some new techniques and even had some work done by other practitioners. (What can I say energy wise I live dangerously).
Occasionally I work the wounded healer archetype pattern going in reverse. What I mean is that a client has an issue and during session work we create a strategy to harmonize it which I then can apply to my own situation. This was the case this past week relating to my concepts around wealth. Now I've always had enough, if just barely, but the anxiety around it being just enough has exerted too much influence on my decisions as to what my options are. After working with this client I remember even saying to them, "Wow I need to do this process for myself." Well I took my own advice and went into deep states of meditation and worked the process. I came out of it quite disorientated and a tiny bit anxious. This tends to be a sign that a core pattern of self has been moved, realigned, or changed entirely. For those not expecting this reaction it can create a cycle of increasing anxiety as one tries to find out what is wrong.
In the midst of all this I had a great opportunity come knocking at my door out of the blue. My initial reaction before the self work was to be a bit trepidatious. Now I'm getting excited about it instead. A friend once told me that the physiological symptoms of anxiety and excitement are the same, the only difference is how we interpret them. Anxiety is taxing to our system while a moderate amount of excitement is more tonifying. So before we label something as anxiety, we should always check to see if it is actually positive anticipation.
Why am I telling you this? Well we are all going to go through similar patterns and activities through out our life. The experience we have of these patterns will repeat unless we change the vibration of how we relate to them, and come out of phase with the less helpful ones.
So how about you? Are you finding yourself retreading the same paths, but with different window dressings? Are the patterns of interaction around you triggering old wounds? Do you find yourself making the same mistakes, or having the same complaints? Well if you are consider it an invitation to get to the root of the problem and come out of phase with it. It may be time to relate to it from a higher perspective. As we move into the holiday season many of us will be around family and old patterns will be switched on automatic pilot. Use this time to observe your piece of the collective pie of experiences. Find the piece of you that no longer fits the story. When you do, you are giving permission to others to begin their own transformational journey as well.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, November 12, 2017
I've had a week. I was feeling under the weather, but I'm beginning to pull through. I've had events and classes for which I am grateful. When I don't feel well I get easily bored. There is really only so much a person can rest before they get well restless.
I have been thinking for a while about this post. People ask me all the time about my name. I get the, "Is that your real name?" or ,"So are you Native American?" The answer to the second is as far as I am aware I don't think I'm Native American. I've not had the DNA ancestry test done to see where all my people are from so I can't know for certain, but I was not raised on a reservation or with any of the disadvantages that a tribal heritage brings in this country. As to whether or not my name is real well that depends on what you mean by real.
A name is a placeholder, a description. It is a shorthand for identity. The name Mooneagle was given to me by one of my teachers. She just walked up to my booth at a psychic fair and said, "You're Mooneagle." It stuck, I mean she's a shamanic practitioner and she used the power of naming. I liked the name but was nervous about using it. At first it felt like I was misleading people, or that people would think I am silly. What made it stick was that at the time I was being stalked by a group of people I had cut ties with. I was beginning to teach and offer services and I didn't want them to find me. So when a flier was made about a workshop I was going to help teach I joked with a friend that they should use Mooneagle. They thought I was serious and by the time I told them no the fliers were all printed. The rest as they say is history.
A funny thing happened after a few years. The name of Mooneagle felt more and more like me than my birth name. I sort of grew into it. Occasionally people still try to shame me about it, but I am Mooneagle and Mooneagle is me. It allowed me to become more than my family's expectations or limits, it allowed me to be just myself. Plus after I published my book that pretty much sealed the deal.
What does the name Mooneagle mean. Well although people think it sounds vaguely Native American it is more astrological in nature. My moon was in the sign of Scorpio when I was born. There are 3 animals associated with that sign: the serpent, the scorpion, and when the sign transcends its shadow the eagle. The moon sign often is thought of as our hidden side or our inner emotional landscape. I've been sneaky like a snake, sharp like a scorpion, but I want to soar like the eagle taking in the view without being mired in it. To feel and to understand rather than just react, that is what the Mooneagle means to me.
So how about you? What names do you claim for yourself? Are they limiting or do they give you space to grow into them? There is a power in a name that most of us have forgotten. We should be respectful of them and wary of the names we choose for ourselves and others.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, November 5, 2017
I hope you had a Happy Halloween. I got into the spirit of it with the local jack-o-lantern spectacular. It inspired me to carve quite a large smile on my seasonal squash's face. Scraping his insides felt very cleansing for myself. I've been sorting through what matters and what doesn't. October has been one of my busiest months with me gadding about, out in the real world more and staying behind the screen less, well some of that was not my doing but rather the doing of my late laptop.
I have this last week been rather skeptical of social media. It is a siren song to see what everybody is up to. The algorithms are designed to be addictive. I've been drawn in a few times. However I'm waking up more and more to the fact that Facebook isn't real. It's been a realization a long time coming. It started a few years ago attending a party which in my mind seemed less like a party and more like a photo shoot for social media. "Look at us, aren't we having fun? Don't you wish your life was like ours?"
This past year and a half social media has been a minefield of political confrontation. It was nonstop outrage and yet it felt wrong to unplug because of the idea that I had to stay informed. Well I can say my 12 day break didn't leave me feeling uniformed, but it did bring me a sense of peace and rhythm that I had forgotten about. I felt so much lighter. I spent time talking to people undistracted, truly listening. I have begun and continue to purge my social media feeds of most of the inflammatory posts. It is not me sticking my head in the sand. I just realized I didn't want to have outrage on a constant loop. I make decisions that aren't well thought out when I am outraged. I wonder if that is the real point to keep people outraged and divided while the powerful raid the coffers, to keep people afraid so that they vote for more brutal responses in order to feel safe.
Why am I telling you this? Well I am lucky to have good people around me. I am lucky to have had the benefit of multiple perspectives due to the trait of never quite fitting in with any one place. I am lucky to have the sight of radiant autumn leaves outside my bedroom window to see, rather than just photos on a computer screen. I am lucky to know the difference between glamour and life.
What about you? Are you walking in a daze convinced that your screen is reality? Do you know the difference between sitting in a room together and being together? Do you remind yourself that people's social media feed is a carefully crafted illusion meant to portray a story of a life rather than an actual life. Does your inner world take more from your screen or more from your daily habits and interactions with the people you love? What if you scrubbed your screen so that it really was a vehicle of connection? What if you made it back into the tool? What if you connected with people face to face and let photo opportunities slide so that you could be completely present. Seeing life through a lens separates us from that life, what if you gave yourself permission to live that life rather than just document it?
Peace and Blessings.
Friday, October 27, 2017
I haven't written in two weeks. This is the first time I've taken a break from the blog since 2013. It was the right decision, and also convenient seeing as how I would have had to borrow a laptop to do it. I am once more plugged in, and I am not sure how I feel about it. I should backtrack a little to give you some context.
I was preparing to co-facilitate a class on Self Sabotage and Spirit Animals. (To be clear the spirit animals were not the cause of the sabotage they were the help). Part of my preparations was a journey to see Sashamama for a healing dismemberment. Yes I realize that last sentence had a lot in it that made no sense, let's start with the who first. Sashamama is the mother serpent of the Amazon, you know her more popularly as Anaconda. In the South American medicine wheel she is the Guardian of the South. She teaches us to shed our past as she sheds her skin. Okay introductions done, now you are probably wondering about a healing dismemberment, how can being dismembered ever be a good thing? Well in shamanism when an animal eats you in a journey it is considered a healing. They are taking you apart so that you can be restructured, they can make you better, faster, stronger, and less of an asshole. I have had many such dismemberments in the past ten years as I have taken my trainings. In fact if I hadn't had a dismemberment in more than six months I get to it, otherwise it will happen in dreamtime. That is not pleasant for anybody. The spirit has to chase me down, and I'm quite fast in the dream realms. If they do catch me I will physically feel the sensation of being ripped apart and wake up still feeling it for a second or two. That little side effect makes me a bit more proactive in journeying.
It had been a while, and I knew that I needed Sashamama's help for this class. Here's the sticky point, I've never been dismembered by any serpent before. I am afraid of snakes in ordinary reality. Remember what I said about me being fast in the dream realms. Mama Anaconda has tried to catch me before, but she never did. So I went into this journey knowing it would be a bit uncomfortable. When her mouth opened to swallow me I had to close my spirit's eyes and pretend I was in a wet sleeping bag. I went in and she shat me out. Did I forget to mention how glamorous shamanism can be kids? So with the dismemberment done she agreed to help the participants for the class. They would all be getting a taste of that snaky love bite.
All was going well, I did my weekly prayer ceremony mailed it off, and then the computer crashed. I ran some diagnostics and rebooted and all was fine so I went home for supper. After supper I was in for a shock, the computer wouldn't boot. So the next day I took it to the Mac repair place. Monday afternoon I received a call that the video card failed, but I couldn't get it repaired because it was a vintage model (Apple's term for anything more than 5 years old). So I had to buy a new computer and they wanted close to a thousand more than what I paid for the previous one to get similar capabilities. So after I leveled every curse in the tongues, of elves, men, and hobbits I set out on a quest for a new computer. This quest took twelve days.
Twelve days I was cast forth from the digital realm, only touching it on occasion with borrowed time on another's window to the blogosphere. In this time out of time I found myself meditating more, practicing yoga and tai chi for longer periods, getting to bed earlier, and with plenty of time to get where I needed to be without rushing. Digital distractions had been eating away at my moments of life for a while, but it had gotten pretty bad. I had begun to sanitize my Facebook feed and declutter, but it wasn't enough. The computer was always on, in part because I had this fear of it failing if I turned it off (self fulfilling prophecy). With it always online, any little thought to check messages or see a video took me away from real life and sucked me into digital fantasy land. So Sashamama ate the element of self sabotage. It was a great lesson, but a very expensive one. Truth is with a business I really have to have a computer. However when this new one arrived I was wary of it. I have turned it off every evening and waited until after I've gotten things done in the day to turn it on. This time I am trying to use it responsibly without the addictive behavior I'd developed prior. I am hoping twelve days was enough to retrain the patterns.
Why am I telling you this? Well as I look around the world, I see people consumed by their tech. Running around to find charge ports to service its needs, they have become the servant and the machine the master. We are only given so much time on this earth, and many of us are wasting it on phones rather than friends. Rather than sit with our feelings we feed our impulses to escape any uncomfortable moments. I'm not saying we should never numb ourselves or let ourselves be entertained, but it is clear to me that my life was suffering due to my imbalanced relationship with my technology.
So ask yourself? Am I subservient to my tech? Do I dodge human interaction, trading it for a digital facsimile? Do I get sucked into digital quizzes promising to tell me who I am? Am I losing sleep surfing through youtube how to videos? Do I feel a pull on my attention every few minutes to check in and see if something is happening someplace else? Well if you answered yes you may need Mama Anaconda's help too, just make sure you back up your data before you enlist her expertise.
Peace and Blessings,