Musings

Musings

Sunday, February 19, 2017

Humility

Greetings all,

I hope your week was peaceful.  There have been waves of energy this week that I have noticed have been quite disruptive in my own life and the lives of those around me.  Perhaps it is the climate we live in, or it is just one of those energetic eddies that swirl about from time to time.

So lately I have been thinking about power, magic, and all the little pitfalls that come along with its use.  People are constantly coming up to me and telling me how lucky I am to be doing what I am doing and how much they want to do what I do.  First off  I am lucky to have the support that has allowed me to develop my gifts, but this didn't just happen overnight.  I acknowledge I am blessed with a certain degree of inborn talent, but it pales in comparison to other people I have met.  The largest net effect has been from my own consistent efforts to improve what I am able to do.  I practiced readings for literally a decade before I did them professionally, and there are days where I still feel like a newbie.  I had at least half a decade of practice with various healing techniques before I started charging for sessions.  The other skill I make my way with is Tai Chi, which I have practiced for 20 years but only started teaching in facilities (i.e. not just private classes for people I knew) four years ago.

 I am still clearly aware of the areas where my knowledge is lacking, and I want to keep it that way.
Don't take what I just said the wrong way.  I don't mean that I don't wish to improve, far from it.  However, I want to keep in perspective that all of my experience is quite small in the grand scheme of things.  This does pose some challenges on the standpoint of confidence, but I prefer that to the alternative.  I was remarking recently to someone that the local magical community can be very cliquish and even aggressive.  It all comes down to the ego.  Again not here to lambast the ego and suggest murdering it.  (We have a catch and release policy at the Church of the Mooneagle).  When you first start to experiment with magic or consciousness techniques it is exciting.  There is expansion, you start to realize just how many possibilities there are for you and your desires.  It is a huge rush, and it feels amazing.  Still we end up butting heads with others especially those who are also implementing power because we live in a universe of consensual reality.  We have to be pretty well balanced and emotionally clear as we continue along, otherwise it is just like giving the ego cocaine.  See the crazed picture of the Mooneagle Ego above, just add a dash of cosmic power without including soul searching and self reflection.  Most people want to leave that bit out.  Hell I would if I could, it isn't the fun part.  It is difficult to really look at yourself.  It hurts to peel back the layers of encrusted wards we have raised around our vulnerability.  To access the deepest power in yourself you have to go that place.  The place where you dare not look is the place you must look.

Why am I telling you this now?  Well I did need a blog topic for the week, but beyond that many of us are feeling the call to awaken to our own power right now.  We wish to be more effective and empowered.  I think that's awesome!  I do want to murmur a bit of caution to you as you flex your new found psychic muscles.  Keep looking at yourself and your motives.  Find what you are hiding from the world and yourself and really examine it.  If there is healing work to do start with yourself.  That is not to say you can't help those around you, but don't conclude that the paint is dry on the canvas of your psyche.  We are always growing and having our deep hurts rise to the surface, not to assail us but to be healed by us.  We must be humble as we embrace our own brand of magic, because we are all beings of light.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle


Sunday, February 12, 2017

Faery Tails


Greetings all,

I hope you had a good week.  Mine has been interesting,  not in that Chinese curse way, "May you live an interesting life,", but just in the acceleration of feedback from dreams and omens.

In fairy tales things come in threes.  Three bears, three little pigs, three rooms filled with straw to be turned into gold, three gifts or blessings, and three witches (or wise women if you prefer).  For me when something appears three times  in a relatively short amount of time it is a signal that it isn't just a coincidence.  Somebody somewhere is trying to tell me something.  I have a somewhat tentative relationship with coyote.  As a fellow trickster I really want to trust him, but you know there are a lot of stories about him.  So far he's laughed at me, helped me extricate myself from my jobs (it's funny now), and right now I've actually petitioned him for help.  Yes I know, insanity, but these are not normal times.

Last week I dreamed I was on a walk heading to a dream meet up place (a location you meet with  other dreamers to dream walk silly).  On my way I encountered a mother coyote and 3 pups.  The three pups wanted to play with me.  So my attention was grabbed.  Animals in dreams tend to peak my interest due to my shamanic training.  I can hear my teacher in my head saying, "You should journey on that."  I will I promise, but that's  not all that happened.  Yesterday I went for a walk.  It's been unseasonably warm and even the dim February light is preferable to staying indoors all day.  So I went through my neighborhood and down into a narrow stretch of woods, and I do mean narrow like 30 yards tops in width.  As I was meandering on the path I saw movement ahead.  At first I thought it might be dogs out for a run with their owner, but it was soon apparent there weren't any other human beings with these canids.  These were coyotes, three of them to be exact.  Now here I was out alone, and while cautious I wasn't exactly afraid.  I did have a big umbrella with me for one so I was armed.  (Hey a good umbrella can be an effective striking and bludgeoning device).  The coyotes also appeared well fed and playful rather than aggressive.  We've had a mild winter and there are plenty of deer about.  Which brings me to my next encounter, the night prior to that I was driving home from a rather enjoyable game night and I came across two deer on the road home.  Now lucky for me I was driving at a reasonable speed otherwise we'd have had a much more intimate encounter and by intimate I mean blood and guts splattered across my windshield.  I did say fairy tale tropes tend to come in threes yes?  During my nightly wanderings which some call dreams I encountered a crow.  This crow wanted to get in my lap and have me pet him (or her I'm not good at determining gender of individual crows).  So there you have it.  I'm pretty sure something is up and somebody has a message for me.

What we have here is a not a failure to communicate.  What we have here is spirit sending a text, a voicemail, email, and a Facebook message.  It's all tied into a greater trend these days of a bleed over between dreaming and waking life.  I'm not complaining.  It keeps me engaged.  Hell I feel like I'm on a quest.  This is better than a video game, for one if I find treasure it's more than just ones and zeros, secondly it's exciting!  Still three animal encounters, two of which are trickster spirits this is going to be big.  I am glad there was some deer energy in there too, perhaps to gentle and bring in the love.  I'm all about compassionate trickery.  Something big is about to go down in Mooneagle town.  I'm still not sure what it is, but the good news is I have help.  I'm pretty sure I am the main character in this caper too.

So why am I telling you about this?  Well it's fucking magical!  Life is not just drudgery and obligations.  It is vibrant and full of wonder, but too often we forget that.  I'm not saying we should all drop our responsibilities, but I am saying we should make space for that touch of magic to get through to us.  The story we're sold is that the world is a dark and terrible place, and  I am not saying there isn't malice and danger out there...because there is.  What I am saying is that there are powers older than you and me that tend to balance things out.  There are allies that we don't even know about, secrets that only we can unravel.  We have to let those possibilities in, and not block all the access points with our expectations or mindset of only looking for the next disaster.  Right now with what is going on in the world we are in the dark woods.  We have to decide what kind of story we're in, is it a horror story or a fairy tale?  In a horror story the only options are death or survival, but a fairy tale gives us the opportunity to end happier than we began.  A fairy tale reveals who we are deep down, are we good or are we the big bad wolf?  Now in truth we are both, but just like in that old story with the two wolves within us that fight, who we feed will be the wolf that wins.  I'm feeding that magical wolf of compassion and faery dust.  I suggest you do the same.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle


Friday, February 3, 2017

Responsibilty


Greetings all,

I hope you have had a good week.  We now trudge through the long dark of February, like the mines of Moria there are worse things than orcs in the deep places of our psyches.  This week I am talking about responsibility.

Some people will sigh, and go, "Oh no not responsibility, ye Gods save us from that!"  I hear you and understand.  I'll never forget the time when I was working retail when a manager wanted to make me responsible for another employee.  No increase in my pay mind  you, just more duties and liabilities.  I've had a rather dubious relationship with responsibility in my life.  I've tried to have the bare minimum of it that I can muster.  This is in part due to a general misunderstanding of what responsibility is, and I believe many people have similar misconceptions.  We often equate responsibility with culpability.  Now to be sure they are related, but they are not equivalent.

If you ever watch television you probably see a ton of ads for attorneys.  Some call them ambulance chasers.  I call them harbingers of doom.  We here in America have become a highly litigious society.  (That means we like to sue...a lot).  So we have come to associate the one being responsible with the one who is to blame,  and by default the one who will be bankrupted by the lawsuits.  This is exacerbated by our overly complex legal code.  Most of us are breaking the law everyday.  You may be breaking one right now, I'm not sure which one but it is highly probable.

Now I don't want you to think I'm just out to blame all the lawyers.  I've known some really good ones that were genuinely interested in helping people and standing up for the rights of those who have been victimized by either individuals or the system.  This sue happy culture is actually a side effect of something deeper.  We have an unrealistic expectation for people to behave perfectly.  This goes double for ourselves.  We who are not blind to our own shortcomings will want to avoid being the one responsible, because we know we aren't perfect and we wish to avoid blame for that.  This often leads us to pointing fingers at others and scapegoating.  When people are presented as the ones responsible it generally means they are about to take a fall.  So in our society those with the least get blamed for the most, and those with the most take responsibility for the least.  If you continue to the watch horror show called the news you will see this again and again.

Now the reason I bring this up is that I've been pondering personal responsibility lately.  I've been wondering what are my personal responsibilities when it comes to my clients and students.  I want to do right by them, which is not always easy to pinpoint.  Making things easier for somebody is sometimes the right thing to do, and sometimes it is not.  Knowing when to let someone face consequences is one of the hardest things I have to deal with in my line of work.  People constantly want me to take responsibility for their decisions in there life, and while I advise and support I refuse to do it.  If I take the responsibility for their life then I become their personal scapegoat.  Not only that, if I take responsibility for their life, I take their power from them.  This is the opposite of what I intend for the people who come to me.  I want to empower not disempower.

So how about you?  Are you relinquishing responsibility because you think it is the same as blame?  Are you giving up your power to someone else?  Are you taking someone's power and not allowing them to take responsibility for their life?  Well the best of us have done that.  Cut yourself a little slack, and then maybe cut some for your neighbors too.  As we look around the world in its brokenness we must learn to put the pieces that are ours back together and cheer on those that do the same, and have patience for those that are not yet ready to do so.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle




Friday, January 27, 2017

Entropy Abides

Greetings all,

Well now what a week it has been.  It is times like these that I seem to resonate with the words of House Baratheon, "Ours is the fury."

The world has changed.  The air is vibrating with new possibilities and potentials.  Some of these tangential realities are quite frightening, others have the opportunity to really push forward to a kinder and more sustainable form of civilization.  Which ones manifest will depend greatly on how we conduct ourselves.

Entropy is the agent of change.  Entropy in this case is the force or processes which breaks systems down.  In the biological kingdoms the fungi excel at their use of entropy breaking down waste and converting it to something useable.  They are the ultimate recyclers, and up cyclers.  Entropy is associated with death and endings, but the flip side is that without it there are no beginnings.  Change is stressful and often invokes fear and resistance.  Change can also be invigorating and spur growth.  Look above at the picture.  The green crystal of life's pattern has burst open, broken by the fiery serpent with his tail wrapped at the center of the wheel of the elements.  This is kundalini the waking of the secret fire that sleeps within our base nature.

Waking up is not always pleasant.  Those of you who use buzzer alarms know this on a visceral level.  It is jarring and uncomfortable.  Right now many of us are going through an awakening and it is not the gentle kind of slowly rousing to the sound of birdsong.  Right now it feels more like the fire alarm going off at 4 AM.   That can leave you kind of cranky.  I know I am not at my most bright and cheery.  Compassion you say?  What the hell is that?  Fight or flight patterns are being triggered in us.  Adrenalin is an effective way to shake you up and get you to pay attention, but it isn't a healthy state to maintain.  Kundalini rising is written about with modern new age rose colored glasses these days, but a spontaneous kundalini activation can be dangerous and frightening.

So why am I telling you this?  Well world events are quite chaotic right now, and many of us are trying to get our bearings.  Structures are being broken and it has created a lot of upset.  Many people feel like their hearts are breaking, and yet I see people coming together to support each other.  I see more people becoming active participants in the societal structures of our world.  What if we saw entropy not as an ending but as a catalyst?  What if our hearts weren't being broken, but instead were like eggs, broken open so a new life could be born?  What if this apparent darkness moves us to sing back the light?  Now I could be wrong, I mean it happened once before.  Like I said above what will be manifested will depend on us and how we show up.  So ask yourself do I really want what has been the status quo?  You may have preferred it to what is being offered up, but you don't have to accept that reality either.  If you could change the way the world works what would you like to bring into it?  Are you willing to act to bring needed changes?  Are you willing to go back to sleep?  The Hopi prophecies were right, we are the ones we've been waiting for.  Good morning my dears we have a lot to do today.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Sunday, January 22, 2017

Validation



Greetings all,

I hope you had a productive week.  This was my first week back at the gym since recuperating from a cold.  It's also been a week of meetings and plans being laid.  Despite the up in the air feeling that has prevailed for the past two months I may start to nail some things down...for now.

 Two weeks ago I had the benefit of working with a friend whose skills I respect highly.  I've been doing a lot of personal work to remove blocks and internal struggles within myself the past year or so. What they saw in my energy field this time took them by surprise, a hidden attachment and a broken place in my energetic structure.  They'd never been aware of it before and yet it had been there for years.  So he gave me some information and then trusted that I could get rid of it on my own.  I was excited to get started and went home that night to journey to my teacher.  Well the work was done by a master teacher during a shamanic journey.  I felt a huge surge of heat and energy as I popped in and out of consciousness during the shamanic trance.  I went to bed and the next morning when I awoke I was exhausted.  It felt like I hadn't slept in days.  This was the day I had planned to start back swimming, but the idea evaporated.  I went to teach my class then came home and fell into nap for most of the afternoon. The following day I woke up still tired but not quite as worn out.  Still I had a day of teaching, clients, and ceremonies.  After my last client of the day I passed out in my chair at my office.

Now my friend had told me that it could take some time for the energetic structure to heal and that I could be tired while it was repairing itself.  One of the other side effects I experienced is that I was even more sensitive to energy and people than normal.  When I went into teach the first day after the work I was bombarded by the cacophony of people as I entered the gym.  All of this was very noticeable to me, but what struck me even more was I had a desperate need for feedback.  I wanted to make sure that I had handled the issue right.  Even though I didn't do the work a guide did it, I wanted validation that what I had sensed and received was accurate.  Now there is nothing wrong with seeking validation and confirmation of psychic information, particularly as you are learning to sense and interpret what it is you are seeing/feeling/hearing.  However, the genesis of this particular problem had come about because I had stopped trusting my own senses and started relying on others.

Years ago I was involved in a group of people that were working on growing their psychic and energetic abilities.  From early on one of the members cast me as the person in the group with no particular talent.  They even joked about it, but it was one of those jokes that cut.  I would sense things that they'd do and then they would deny it.  They eventually wore down my self esteem and awareness until I became extremely vulnerable and basically couldn't trust my own eyes (or at least my third eye).  Keep in mind that up until this time I had considered myself fairly psychically gifted.  I had read for people since I was 14 and so I had more than a decade of experience with psychic phenomena at the time.  So although I knew I wasn't the most gifted reader in the whole world, I was fairly confident in my ability.  That was over though, now I was being gaslighted constantly.  Although I eventually escaped from that group with my life, the scars it left took years to heal.

Flash back to this past week.  This process of healing was continuing and I was excited about it, and even wanted to talk to other healers in my sphere about it, but above all else a big portion of me was desperate for validation.  I was about to ask for it when something clicked into my head, "Wait a minute that's how all this got started."  I realized as much as I craved that validation I must not ask for it.  I needed to trust my own intuition and guidance otherwise the healing would never really be complete.  So this has left me both frustrated and hopeful.  Frustrated in that I really want external validation.  Hopeful in that if I live a bit with this discomfort a deeper pattern can be transmuted within myself.

We all seek external validation.  It's like hard wired into our egos.  The problem is that there will never be enough praise and support.  Even if we are constantly showered we will continue to need more and more.  This becomes even more problematic if we have created our identity externally.  Unfortunately most of us have, it's part of our culture and the trend is accelerating.  The dark side of social media is the empty feeling we sometimes have that we didn't get enough likes, that our vacation photos aren't as good as our friends' pictures, that we just aren't as successful or happy as those around us.  The truth is though, that most of us have that the core of doubt about who we are, and so we are constantly seeking others to tell us who and what we are.  We try buying our identity with wardrobes, cars, houses, vacations, and electronic toys.  We seek accolades and applause from our peer groups.  We worry constantly what others are thinking about us, completely unaware that most of them are worried about the exact same thing.  The need for external validation is a black hole that will never be filled.  The only thing that can calm it is an internal knowing of who we are, and that takes some discomfort to experience.  We have to unplug from that external source and tap in to the source within ourselves.  We know who we are, we've just forgotten.

So why am I telling you this?  Well you're pretty awesome, but you won't believe me if I tell you that, or if you do that will fade quickly back into your base state of self doubt.  No one can tell you who you are.  They can reflect back what you are putting out, and the more they know themselves the clearer and more coherent that reflection will be.  However until you decide to trust yourself, your feelings, your abilities, and your dreams you won't see that reflection.  I'm not saying that you don't deserve to hear what a good job you're doing, we all need encouragement from time to time.  Especially when we have fallen down into one of life's challenges.  What we do most of the time though is jump from one ego fix to another, just like a heroin junkie.  The only difference is we're not injecting a drug, we're injecting people's opinion of ourselves.  Here's a hint most people's opinion about you is completely wrong.  They just don't have enough data.  Why would they know more about you than you do?  You spend every minute of every day with yourself.  So this week unless you absolutely need an opinion or approval for a work project don't ask for someone else to validate you or what you do.  Try it for a week.  See how deep the addiction runs.  Just become aware, I'd say let me know how you do, but I won't be giving you my feedback either.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Sunday, January 15, 2017

Wailing Winds

Greetings all,

I hope you had a pleasant week.  We've had several seasons in seven days.  There has been a little sun but mostly we've been in the gray haze that tends to define January and February here.  I'd been sick the week of new year's and was just starting to come out of it this week with just a bit of tiredness.  The dismal overcast days didn't do much for my get up and go though.

January often feels like a nebulous time.  The days are longer, but we often don't notice due to the cloud cover.  In these dreary days it can be a challenge to get outside and interact with the dozing trees.  Winter is the time for long nights and dreams, both of night and the more fleeting daydreams.  While we should try and be present in our season those daydreams often have given me some of my greatest inspirations.  When the bones of the earth are laid bare with barren branches and the wind drags its claws across a cold land, I see the intricate geometry of nature. It is often in this season I am most in tune with an energy I categorize as elven.   What we think of as elves is mostly inspired by Tolkien's work; in his turn he based the elves heavily on the Daione Sidhe.  I associate them with guiding nature's hand and crafting wonders inspired  by the world of growing things.  Now during the spring, summer, and autumn I feel more strongly the energies of what most people think of as faeries.

Yes I am sure the more serious readers out there are tuning out about now.  They're thinking, "What gives Mooneagle?  What's all this fluff about the fair folk?  I thought this was a serious blog for spiritual topics."  Well part of the reason I write this blog is to show you I'm a real person.  I'm not a guru.  I flow with many different types of energies and the one that gave me a big start was my connection to the green realms.  I have found these energies have an aura of such awe and sacredness that few churches or temples could match.  The energies of our 'good neighbors' are close to my heart.  Not only that but I draw on these energies in some of the healing work I do for myself and clients.

One morning this week the wind was up.  I had my first day of not needing cold medicine.  I slept right through my alarm which is almost unheard of.  It was the monthly test of the emergency sirens that finally woke me.  The wind had been gusting all through the night bringing with it strange dreams.  The normal storm siren sound was being twisted and distorted by the wind.  It sounded more like a chorus of unearthly voices wailing.  Had I to place it, I would say it sounded what I imagine the cries of the banshee would resemble.  The rest of the week settled into a rhythm of deep dreaming and hidden currents of magic running like underground rivers welling up suddenly to stir the events of life.  The banshee's cry is often associated with death and mourning, or as a warning that dark and dangerous times are upon us.  I don't know what it meant for me personally, although I do know that much of what has been my life will be passing away within a year, and I do see dark times ahead for the world.  Still the sound of the wailing winds was familiar and felt like it was reaching out to comfort and engage my spirit.  So I am going to feel more into my emotional connection with the near realms of Faery.  To me they have always felt like home.

So why am I going on about this to you?  Well the world is speaking to you: through the winds, the falling rains and snows, the dance of the tree limbs, and the calls of birds.  Maybe you share my love for the green realm, or maybe a different realm calls to you.  Maybe the realm of the stars and celestial folk is your heart home.  Maybe it is with the denizens of the deep waters.  Perhaps the serpentine paths of dragons fires your soul's longing.  It could be among the carved icons of saints and within the patterns of stained glass in temples and churches of stone.  The sacred is calling to you, quietly singing amidst the din of the distracting world of men.  Will you answer that call?  Will you sing back?  Will you seek for it on strange paths both new and old?  The old stories are walking now, the wonders of the world are stirring from their slumber.  Will you sing a walking song?  I'd suggest you put on your boots, grab a stout stick, wrap yourself warmly, and venture out into the wild world of story.  Maybe it will not  make your life easier, but it just might make your life richer.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Saturday, January 7, 2017

A Gift of Snow

Greetings all,

Welcome to the new year.  Here in the USA we're having this thing called winter.  This week gifted me with the first snow of 2017.  It wasn't a lot, and the picture above is actually an older one I took several years ago.  Our accumulation is much more modest this time around.

Winter is another country.  It is dark, it is cold, and it seems forever.  Being from the sunshine state originally I've had a hard time adapting to winter.  It really curtails my activity.  Post holiday blues often hit hard the week after new years.  I start thinking about what I am going to do in the spring and summer.  This is of course not living in the now.  I've learn to tolerate winter but I am still learning to enjoy it.  I got a boost Thursday with the snow.  The snow fall was that light fluffy stuff, instead of the heavy wet flakes.  As I was walking into my morning class, it fell gently in front of me in huge flakes.  As it landed on my gloves I got to see the individual snowflakes.  They were beautiful.  Not every snow falls in a way that you can see that characteristic crystalline pattern, but this one did.  Each flake was a delicate flower of white crystal.  Each time they fell it was a tiny work of art blessing me.

In shamanism, everything is alive and has a spirit.  Snow has a spirit, and from various journeys I can tell you it loves us and it falls in perfect joy.  We human beings have a different view of it, especially if we have to shovel a lot of it or be out in it.  In ages past snow gave many time to rest.  Travel ceased in many places.  Life slowed and we turned inwards.  These days people either freak out about it, or they ignore it and drive crazy.  (Which explains the freaking out part for the rest of us).  I myself limit my travel in winter.  It is not the time for wandering.  I save that for when the southerly and western winds call. When we step back from the pace of modern life we can appreciate the beauty of winter and snow.  It blankets the faded ground.  It reflects the dim light brightening the world when the sun is scarce.  It brings the quiet.  Silence settles on the outside as the sound is muffled by the snow.  The very air becomes filled with quiet sacredness.  It is almost as if Mystery is holding its breath about to utter a great secret.  When we rush we risk not only accident, but we risk missing the beauty in the world.

So why am I telling you all this.  Well the decorations are mostly down in our homes.  The lights have been turned off.  We've been surrounded by artificial symbols of beauty and hope.  The days can seem dim, and the nights dark and full of terrors.  (Yes a Game of Thrones reference I couldn't help it).  It is time now to seek that light and beauty in the world around us.  How we respond to winter is a testament to our energies.  We do not have the abundance of sun and green growing things to buttress our spirits.  This is all us right now.  Now we must lift our own spirits and the spirits of those around us. It is no accident that so many holidays fall around the darkest part of the year.  They are there because we need them to be there.  Now, as we move through Winter's country the light we carry will be our own.  We are responsible for bringing light into the darkness.  We are called to bring warmth into the cold.  We are charged with finding the beauty in the bare bones of the land.  We are summoned to be compassionate to the creatures of the earth, ourselves included.  So bless the snow in its beauty as it falls as it blesses you.  Be present in the long nights, for here now in Winter's country the stars are bright.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle