Musings

Musings

Sunday, December 4, 2016

A flight of birds

Greetings all,

I hope you enjoyed your week.  Mine was full of creativity, so in all it was a good week.  I'm working in my studio again and it is like waking up.  Oddly enough this awakening has also led to deeper dreams while I am asleep.  As I'm making art again I'm paying more attention to the world around me.

Here you see a flight of birds, or what is called a murmuring.  That is the name given to the way that flocks of birds seem to move as one entity in flight.  It is an everyday miracle.  Most of us don't even notice it.  We go about our days filled with to do lists, texts, emails, and Facebook.  We rarely look up whether it is at the moon above or to the flight of birds overhead.  Whether it is by natural inclination, the training I have gone through, or simply Fate (ah yes my old mistress), I look up.  I notice.  I listen.

The winds of the worlds blow whether we are aware of them or not, and with each breath a new story unfolds upon the earth.  The birds mind the wind for it is like the ocean is to a fish.  They navigate it by necessity, and yet I believe they also luxuriate in the freedom of flight.  These past few weeks my attention has continually been drawn to the birds and the winds.  As I left the gym and walked back to my car yesterday I heard their voices in the boughs above, hundreds of tiny voices singing out to each other.  They took off in several groups each a murmuring of movement on the wind.  I knew deep down in that moment that they were speaking as sure as I write these words to you.  They were communicating in their own secret tongue.  What does one bird say to another I wondered?  What are they all so excited about?  What are the crows saying in their cawing?

For some reason in the past few centuries human beings have come under the delusion that we are the only species who talk.  Maybe it is because we feel out done by so many species in physical prowess.  Maybe it is because as we have plundered more of the world we needed an excuse to put us above our animal cousins.  All cultures around the world all have stories where the animals talk. It can't be a coincidence.  There have been times when I have been sure an animal has given me a message clear as day.  I'm not suggesting they are hiding troves of unpublished novels, but I do think we do nature a disservice when we dismiss their vocalizations as just noise.

Part of my thing is to recognize the magic in the world and to reawaken that sense in others.  I used to think it was to bring back magic that had been lost, but I now realize it was never lost just ignored.  We don't pay attention to magic just like we have lost the voice of the birds and the wind.  We live in a cold world of flesh and matter where words are skewered into contracts rather than promises.  Words are pinned down on a page or a screen but not uttered.  How many times have you witnessed a group of people gathered together in silence with their faces lit by the screens of their phones while they ignore the souls around them?  They are deaf to the world and so their heart cannot see the magic in the world. They have forgotten the language of the birds and beasts.  They have forgotten the wind's song.

Why am I telling you this?  Well what I call magic, you might call wonder, or excitement in the tapestry of life.  I'm sure some of my friends who are secular humanists get this sense of awe even if they don't believe in magic.  That sense of pattern and meaning within the world is important.  It shows us the hidden relationships within the web of being.  The world renowned mycologist Paul Stamets has stated that he believes that nature has a language and is speaking to us.  What might it say to us?  The answer to that question or at least the seeking of the answer may have profound impact on not just our own lives but those of all the world's inhabitants and their descendants.

So what about you? Have you seen the flights of birds whirling with the winds of changing seasons?  Have you heard their voices and wondered at the secrets of their songs?  Do you notice the interplay of the limbs of the trees, their dreaming roots, and all who nest between?  Do you read the patterns in the path of their whispered winged ways?  Do they tell of things that are, things that were, or some things that have yet come to be?  It is said by some that the birds can see the wind just as we see the wake and waves of the sea.  Think of what stories it has for them.  Stretch your ears and your heart to the sky and see if any word comes to you.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Saturday, November 26, 2016

The Giving of Thanks

Greetings all,

For those of you in USA I hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving filled with fun, family, friends, and feasting. For many years now I have enjoyed Thanksgiving more  than Christmas.  It has all the benefits such as good food and coming together without all the hassle and worry over shopping and presents.  The biggest challenge is to not talk politics with relatives as you sit around the turkey table.

I won't lie this year has been a hard one to focus on counting my blessings,  I've lost good people and have other loved ones whose health is failing.  This has also not been a great year to be a liberal or one who cares about the environment.  I see so much destruction going on in the world, and looking forward I see a long stretch of time where much that was beautiful in this world will cease to be.  I see a darkness ahead for us, and yet I have seen beyond it too.  Not all that is fair will fade.  We are coming into the night lands for a bit.

Now is the time when giving thanks is most important.  It is too easy to see what is wrong with our world both on a personal and a global level. Gratitude is a practice, and if you think you have nothing to be grateful for and you are reading this then you are wrong.  For starters you can read, many people in this world cannot.  You also have power or access to a charging station unlike millions of other people who live without electricity.  You are more than likely not starving.  There is someone out there who cares deeply for you, even if you don't know it.  We live in a world where information is literally at our fingertips, almost the whole breadth of human knowledge is just a google search away.

So if you're worried about the world I have a list of things to be thankful for:  solar roofs are going to be an actual thing, you can learn how to do just about anything on Youtube, we are living in one of the most peaceful eras in history, spices are as cheap as they ever have been in history, the up and coming generations are some of the most inclusive and diversity positive people ever,  the next generation is also more eco-conscious, Netflix, and there are millions of people dedicating their lives to tackling the world's most pressing problems.

So in this season of doubt and uncertain futures I advise you to hold close to those you love.  Gather with people of like mind and heart.  Build a fire against the darkness.  Keep your heart warm with the glow of hope.  Above all be thankful for each breath.



Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Sunday, November 20, 2016

Control Freak

Greetings all,

Well today has been exciting!  I drove up to Cincinnati to speak at the Victory of Light Expo.  Up and back in one day is quite a little trip.  I was surprised to see a line for my talk, pleasantly surprised and then of course I thought, "I probably should have prepared a bit more for this."  The thing is it is about a topic I know well.  For me it is always about the Q & A, that's when I really loosen up and bring up my knowledge base; it seems like I don't know what I know until I am asked a question.

All that aside, the past few weeks I've come to a few realizations about myself and how I move through the world.  The big issue coming down the pipeline has been CONTROL.  I just seem to have this addiction to it.  As I have been noticing my posts on Facebook and the comment wars that have gone on this past year (to little effect except a smaller friend list and larger block list), I notice that I am really wanting to control people's experiences.  Now this isn't just about political disagreements, most times it is about how people experience me.  I fret over how people are going to receive my services.  I want them to have a "good" experience, or more likely I really want to blow their socks off.  I want them to have an enjoyable experience so that they'll tell their friends and I'll have more clients, which means more people's experiences to worry over.  The thing is I am not in control.  I never have been, I sometimes just mistakenly think that I am.

This freaking out about control extends out into everything. Changing plans can really throw a wrench into my internal state.  Hiccups, detours, and outright wrong turns can quickly lead me down a dark mental path.  The irony is the more I try to control situations or other people, the less self control I seem to be able to muster.  This is a long time issue for me.  For years I just sort of floated along and didn't do much as far as directing my life.  I had tried making plans before and they were always smashed into a million pieces.  So after a point I stopped looking ahead, I stopped making plans at all.  In some ways it was freeing, but it was also a trap.  I wasn't getting anywhere.  So I started to try and "direct" things.   This worked only slightly better than floating along.  Now I find myself blocking what could come because I want to control how it shows up.  What to do?  Just going along with everything didn't vastly improve my life, and trying to micromanage just makes me crazy and exhausted.   I need a reset.

So recently I started watching a show called "Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency."  It is bizarre, it is out there and kooky, and so of course I'm in love with it.  The wacky coincidences and insane bending of probabilities to serve story and the characters is just what I needed.  So I have been thinking I need to cultivate a bit of Dirk's outlook.  His main idea is that the universe will take him where he needs to go.  I have begun reminding myself, "The universe will take me where I need to go."  Today it took me to the lost and found because I had left my phone on the podium at my lecture.  Why it took me there, I don't know, but I must have needed to go there.  The thing is this way of operating is not so different as to how I approach session work.  When someone works with me they may have an idea of what they want to focus on, and we may indeed go right to that.  However many times I am led off in a completely different direction.  This happens all the time so much so that I have said, "I promise you I can deliver weird, other than that we'll have to see about."  That doesn't mean I don't address what people are wanting or needing, it just means that I am open to going someplace else.  I love when a session takes an unexpected turn, it really comes alive for me then. 

So why am I telling you this?  Well do you have a death grip on the wheel of your life?  Are you so busy trying to manage everyone and their experience that there is no room for joy for yourself?  Are you driving yourself  crazy trying to keep things rolling along according to plan?  Well sunshine, join the club and take a number because we all need help with this one.  What if you had goals rather than plans?  What if you allowed some space in your plans for flexibility and room to breathe?  What if you developed that perfect synergy of responding to life's serendipitous treats, and charting your course?  So basically have a plan, but be open to what life is showing you.  Don't be afraid to reroute and take in a few of the scenic loops.  If you start to think you finally have things under control, it may be time to step away from the wheel, because in my experience that's when the car is about to go over a cliff.  Buckle up my friends, because things are about to get weird.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Thursday, November 10, 2016

Sacred Other

Hello Sweetie,

Yes I know a bit different from my normal greeting.  I'm a fan of Dr. Who and one of my favorite characters is Dr. River Song.  It's her signature greeting, at the most unexpected instances.  She's fearless and always trouble.



Speaking of trouble, this has been a very anxiety provoking week.  Elections here in the USA have never in my memory been this dramatic.  This post will not be about what I think of the winner, (you can guess that by skimming through my Facebook feed) but rather what it has taught me.  For those of you who don't get why some of your friends are so grief stricken I will briefly sum this up.  The president-elect ran a campaign based on fear of the other.  Many of those people fit into that nebulous other category.  I fit in that other category.  I practically am a whole category of other all by my lonesome.  Although you can stop by my category anytime for a visit.

Let's talk about fear.  According to Yoda, "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering." We are taught to be normal.  Stay within the lines.  Act like the other kids.  This is part of socialization, but we tend to go a little bit overboard with it.  We are not a homogenous society we have many different cultures more or sometimes less represented.  Whenever we don't fit into what is defined as "normal" there is a societal backlash.  Now some things merit that like: serial killers, pedophiles, and people who butter their plates in a buffet line (you know someone has to use their hand to remove that, it won't rinse off you deviant slob)!  Many times we treat any "other" category with that same level of disgust.  (FUCKING PLATE BUTTERERS)!

As I said above I am "other".  Those that have met me know this.  I mean it's all up in my energy field.  From the way I interact, to the way I look at a problem, I'm just not your typical guy.  For this reason people have projected a lot of fear and hatred onto me over the years.  Nothing major mind you, just a few physical assaults, death threats, identity theft, and public humiliation. In my work, the "other" that I am comes in handy.  You could even say sometimes your life could depend on that otherness.  Yet I have tried to tone it down.  I don't want to startle the local inhabitants after all.  I don't want to inspire fear, and indeed there are times where I am the person you call to soothe and brush away fears.  Still after this week I've been thinking I may be soothing too much of my power away.  I am other.  Not only that I am a trickster.  I wasn't quite sure which kind until today.  I am the Sacred Other.  I am the unknown quality, the wildcard, the undefinable who changes from predictable to chaotic when it suits.  In short, I have come to trouble your courts and councils.  I have come to wake you up at night, what's that sound....it's me being different.  Do I frighten you?  Well if I do that's good, and if I don't that's good too.  I can be terrific or I can be terrifying, it just depends on what you're holding.  I am here to shake your paradigm to its core, not by preaching, not by force, but simply by being.  For some I am the beneficent Faery Godfather to others I am the Bogeyman.  The only difference is you.  So I think I am going to stop toning it down and instead pump up the volume so we can all dance.

So what about you?  What secret little "other" bits have you sanded down over the years or set aside? Afraid of scaring the villagers when they see you?  Perhaps you are one of those who I frighten, well take heart you get used to it.  I'm not here to hurt you.  I'm here for you to see something different and learn that it won't hurt you.  I may change you, but everything changes you.  Time, experience, relationships, educations, employment, parenthood, and the list goes on, all of these things change you.  So be you.  Be that Sacred Other that only you can be.  Stand up for the others you encounter.  We must work to gather the others and when we do we'll find that we are together.  I am a trickster, I am the Sacred Other, and maybe you are too.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Saturday, November 5, 2016

Messages on Foot

Greetings all,

I hope you had a festive week.  It's been a week of celebrations and messages.  Halloween and Day of the Dead are holidays that have a special place for me.  I have had very powerful experiences at this time of year.  These holidays are the mirror of Beltane, both are times when the veils between the worlds are thin.  However at this time the veil between the lands of the dead is the thinnest. May Eve on the other hand has its veil the thinnest between here and the fair lands of faery.

There are points in the year which just have a certain magical energy about them.  There is a change in the air as the angle of the sun's light transitions into the darker months.  Even with unseasonably warm weather I felt the wind swirling about me and beckoning with promises of mysteries as I practiced my forms outside this week.  Halloween night I didn't have anything planned for once.  I was scheduled for my evening class, but I wasn't surprised when no one showed up.  The whole gym was fairly deserted that evening.  So I went home early.  I was restless.  These points of power on the calendar always make me feel as if I should be out "doing" something with the excess energy.  So a little after eleven I decided to go for an evening walk.  The trick or treaters had long since retired.  The jack-o-lanterns were all extinguished, there was a slight chill in the air more akin to late fall, and several of the streetlights had burned out.

I often walk at night.  For one thing in the summer it is the only time it is cool enough to do so.  I often will call up a friend and put in my headset as I wander the roads and sidewalks.  So I am no stranger to the paths around my neighborhood.  This night felt different, it seemed everyone was hunkered down and shut in form the night, or what lurked there.  Although the only lurking thing was me, mwahaha!  As I turned the corner I encountered a pair of deer in someone's front yard.  I stopped and looked at them, and they looked at me.  Neither of us moved for a minute, and then they got the look in their eyes that said, "Fuck a human!" After that they bounded off across the street.  I was quite startled.  I've seen deer around here before when I've been driving, but I have never gotten that close to them on foot.  I've never run across them when I've been out walking, and I have walked at all hours of the night.  (Insomnia is at times my ardent mistress).  It felt special, and it happened again on my way back.  I was pretty sure it was important.

 In the shamanic paradigm animals all have gifts and messages.  My teacher would say, "You should journey on that."  So of course the first thing I did was to pick up Animal Speak by Ted Andrews and look up deer.  The keywords were gentleness and innocence, and the luring to new adventures.  Sounds good right.  I'd also had heard from various stories that deer medicine was about compassion.  These past few months I've been working at healing some deep level heart wounds, so their appearance seemed to be a nod towards my efforts.  I did eventually journey to see what messages they had for me, and it was profound (no I'm not sharing it with you because it was a private journey).

Animal encounters are always intriguing.  They connect us with the other.  We share this world with many intelligences some more familiar and others less.  Yet when we meet our neighbors up close it is a very heightened experience.  It can also be a potentially dangerous one.  Yet when we come through unscathed something within us is touched and changed by the encounter.  There is a connection that we share with our cousins in fur and feathers.  We often try to ignore these connections or put ourselves in some sort of hierarchical order above our animal cousins, but we share a lot and when we disassociate with the animal within us we lose a large portion of our power.

So why am I telling you this?  Well animals are all around us and they can be very effective messenger carriers for spirit.  Opening up to our cousins can help us feel more connected to the world at large.  They help ground us and keep us focused in the present.  Many who have anxiety around other people are completely relaxed around animals (well some animals, perhaps not spiders or polar bears).  More importantly cultivating our awareness and relationship to other animals fosters our sense of being part of nature.  One of the drawbacks of many of our cultural programs is that we see ourselves as outside of nature, or as rational beings.  All of you with families out there know exactly how rational we are in practice.  So I suggest we observe, and pay attention to the animals around us.  See what they're up to, and how they react to us.  They may have a message or they may just remind you of that wild thing you have lurking within.  Let the wild out, howl at the moon, dance through life, and pay heed to our "other" relatives.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle


Saturday, October 29, 2016

Power Struggle

Greetings all,

I hope you had a pleasant week.  I've certainly had an eventful one.  I had my monthly meeting of the Monroe Institute's Louisville Chapter, and I spoke at the Center for Integrative Health.  This next week promises to be full of activity with Halloween and the Day of the Dead gathering as well as my Chi Kung workshop at the Louisville Salt Cave.  Amidst this flurry of activity I finally had the time to delve into a dream journey.

As I have said in previous posts, I have a rich dream life.  It often gives me some extra behind the scenes information to help me make decisions and lead me down new avenues of discovery.  Whenever I have strong emotions in a dream it's a sign to look more deeply into it.  So I followed a power animal down the rabbit hole of consciousness back into a recent dreamscape.  In this dream a dolphin had appeared, one that I wanted to pet, but I was afraid to.  Once I began to feel trepidation about touching the creature it transformed into a more prehistoric version of itself, much larger and with a lot more teeth.  When I reentered the dream in shamanic trance I went to the dolphin and laid my hands on it.  Then it led me under the sea (yes I thought of the disney song when I wrote that and now so will you...f o r e v e r).  We found a glowing treasure chest.  A golden light merged with me and then the dolphin spoke.  It identified as part of me, and asked, "Why are you afraid of your own power?"

Now while I am pretty sure the journey included sone power and soul retrieval, the real gem for me wasn't what was in the chest it was the question.  Why do I fear my own power?  I don't have to look far for examples of that.  I am really good at sabotaging my own efforts or talking myself down with potential clients.  I've seen amazing things, heck I've even been behind a few of them so why am I so reticent about claiming and living in my own power?  I don't think I am alone in this.  So many people I meet just want to hand their power away.  Whether it is in readings or healing work I am always trying to give people their power back.  Really guys apparently I'm not even comfortable with my own so why would I want yours.  It might be because at least in some ways I equate power with responsibility.  So if I don't use it or shy away from it I subconsciously know that I can't be blamed.  It will be someone else's fault.  (Because we all know the most important thing is to know who to blame).

The thing is I have reached a point where I really need all of my power to get stuff done.  The past two years people have been sent to me with increasingly serious problems; they need serious help from a serious person.  I don't like being serious, I prefer being silly (Although my Facebook feed is an even mix really).  Maybe I worry that I will be weighed down with so many obligations there will be no time for joy.  Maybe I worry that I will inadvertently cause harm by being "too" powerful.  I've also felt the burn of envy directed my way at times, so it could be to an effort to avoid that.  Whatever the underlying reasons, it is true I am afraid of my power.  I knew it as truth as soon as the dolphin said it.  In our culture it seems nobody wants to take responsibility.  They all want to be rescued by a hero.  This would explain western civilization's fascination with messianic religions.  We're all waiting for our saviors, there is just one problem with that.  The only person that can save us is ourselves.

Those with power have a duty to act.  That can make us very uncomfortable.  There is a lot going on in the world today, and we know more about all the ills than we ever have before.  It is very overwhelming, and it makes it easier to just believe there is nothing we can do.  That way we can just go on with our lives without having to change or put forth extra effort.  To stand in your power is to make a ruckus at times.  We rock the boat when we show up standing in our power.  We upset people.  The people pleaser in me gets very uncomfortable with making other people upset.  The inner struggle is real and it continues.

How about you?  Do you struggle with your inner badass?  Do you pretend to helplessness?  Are you holding out for a hero?  Well I have to break it to you, you're the hero of your story.  No one is coming in on a white horse to put out the fires, slay the dragon, and whisk you away to an enchanted land of plenty.  No glowing heavenly figure is going to descend and wave their hands suddenly making it all better.  That power sleeps in you.  It is time to wake it up and dream it into your life.  Maybe just try being the awesome version of you a little at a time so you can work up to it.  Remember that power was put into you for a good reason, if you're not using it then you're not fulfilling your purpose.  So try being a little less scared of yourself, I'll be right there with you.  In the meantime this week's prayer was for us to surrender to our own power.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle


Monday, October 24, 2016

Signs of a Feather

Greetings all,

I hope your week has gone well.  It's funny when I started this blog I never meant to give such a clear picture of the inner workings of my mind.  I have a less than trusting nature, and letting people in has not been my strong point.  The benefit of this blog for me has been that it has helped me understand the interplay of my thoughts, emotions, and life patterns.  Weekly posts also helped to condition me to write steadily which was immensely useful when I was in process with my book.  I wrote myself out of a plot hole in my own life's story here and I appreciate all of you who have joined in and shared my words, now to business.

Chance and Fate have always played a significant role in my life.  Now I'm not what you would think of as traditionally lucky.  I don't find 4 leaf clovers, gambling has never been a strong talent, and pennies haven't rained down from heaven for me (well except that one time but that was part of a cosmic joke where I was the punchline so we're not counting that).  I am lucky in the sense that I have a lot of near misses with tragedy.  I'm also lucky in the fact that I seem to be plugged into a bit of the Universe's secret language of symbols.  I'd say I have a lucky knack of synchronicity.  Whether it is a natural talent or a skill I'm not sure.  I certainly have noticed that the more attention I give it the more of it seems to show up, but I also have a natural inclination to pay attention to such things.

Pattern is all around us.  Our bodies are patterned with DNA, our clothes have a signature weave.  The flow of traffic however chaotic also has pattern.  The seasons, the tides, the phases of the moon, the growth of trees, and the shells of sea life; they all have pattern.  Events have them too, and from those we craft our stories.  Now many of our stories are like others', but some stories are almost completely our own.  Now if I indeed have this way with synchronicity it all comes down to one choice I made long ago...my story would have magic in it.  This choice set my story apart from most of the mainstream world.  I've lost some things, but gained others.  The rich inner life of dreams, visions, and chance encounters has definitely been a treasure.

I have been dreaming true again.  When I was in school I remember dreaming of test questions, and sure enough those were the questions that came on test day.  These days my dreams aren't about those kinds of tests; they advise, connect, and sometimes warn.  I have been dreaming of the phoenix this past month.  In three separate dreams the magical bird that is reborn from its own ashes has given me nighttime visions.  The last dream showed a phoenix coming down to watch me drum for the winter solstice to battle the darkness and bring back the light.  So this solstice the drumming will be dedicated to the phoenix.  I know it will be a very powerful ceremony and great change awaits us in the coming months, there is reason for hope in the new year.

Sometimes my dreams bleed over more blatantly into my waking world.  This week I dreamed  I was practicing a new form, the Sparrow Hawk Hsing I form.  I recently purchased some educational videos on animal forms, but had only so far learned horse.  I had tried viewing the sparrow hawk form but couldn't wrap my mind around it.  Well in the dream I was practicing it (or at least attempting it).  The next day as I ate lunch a hawk came and landed on the neighbor's goalpost, and turned to look into the window directly at me.  It stayed there for an extended period of time looking calmly at me.  When it finally flew off I knew it was time to try the form again.  I have been working on it for a few days now, and while I am still not convinced I am truly getting it, I was able to get started.  It was as if my mind just wasn't ready for it until now.  It is times like these that I feel lucky.  It is so easy to forget amidst the madness of the modern world the underlying connection and power that exists within nature and within ourselves.

So why am I telling you this?  Well I don't think I'm the only one out there with a penchant for synchronous happenings.  I think more of you are plugged in than realize it.  Many of us ignore those twinges of fortune when they occur.  We shrug them off as coincidences and go about our busy lives. We have things to do after all, there's no time for questing, and really that is just a windmill over there in the field...right?  Well my darling readers if you are following these words the odds are good that the Universe has been laying keys to other realms at your feet.  I mean you're reading this blog out of all the other ones on the internet.  Do you think that is just random chance at work?  I assure you it isn't.  You were meant to see these words, you were meant to begin pondering the deeper meanings of life's patterns.  You were meant to find the doors that fit the keys you've been given.  So this week start paying attention.  Are your dreams sending you coded messages?  Are the street signs pointing the way beyond an address.  Does the next song on the playlist have a message from another world for you?  Follow the breadcrumbs and see where you end up.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle