Monday, November 12, 2018
I hope you had a great week. The cold seems to have moved in, and we're swiftly moving from fall to winter here. The time change is still messing with me in the evenings when it seems like the light has just been stolen from the world, but such is the insanity of our clockwork existence.
I can take a long time to make up my mind on things. I ponder and turn over options in various combinations before I make a single move, loathe to change anything that might make matters worse. When I do move it can seem impulsive to someone who isn't familiar with me. They see the pent up energy of my attention unleashed all at once. It is good to ponder change.
This past week I finally updated the description of my main healing sessions on my website. I had written it several years ago when I did a reworking of the site. I had looked at it in the past few months and knew I needed to change it. When I finally copied it down into my word processor and really looked at what I had put out there for the past few years I was kind of horrified. It was unclear, full of passive language, self deprecating expressions, and just plain confusing to anyone who wasn't an expert in energetic healings. It would explain the lackluster sign up rate I had. Once people work with me they tend to want to work with me again, but I get a lot of questions via email and the most common was about what my sessions were exactly. I think I have solved that problem though. I did it by cutting out a lot of detail and using simpler phrases.
I live in a bubble. I have friends that are in energy healing fields, be it tantra, chi kung, yoga, massage, shamanic practice, or reiki, they all have a framework for the kinds of techniques I employ. The problem is that the world doesn't share my bubble. Most people don't know what I'm talking about. There are so many layers of complexity when you work with clients, but you can't really explain that all in a service description. If you do, you'll overwhelm and confuse people. This leads to them either thinking they don't know enough to work with you, or that you don't know enough to explain it properly. Both of those scenarios are less than ideal. So I took out all the technobabble and generalized things.
Why am I telling you this? Well, I'm not the only one who lives in a bubble. We all have an understanding or expertise that we want to share with the world. It is vital that we learn how to reach people at a basic level so that we can share what we have to offer. There's time later to go into more depth with those interested in learning more. Learning to effectively communicate rather than pontificate is a life lesson. What appears mundane to us may be completely novel and exotic to someone with different life experiences.
How about you? Are you trapped in the echo chamber of your life bubble? Do you have a hard time communicating what you know to the world at large? Well maybe it is time to simplify. Try not saying everything in an introduction. Aim for clarity, simplicity, and connection. I will be continuing on my quest to reach the outside world. I hope to meet you there.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, November 4, 2018
I hope you've had a festive week of spirits and treats. I had ceremony and readings the latter half of the week. I had one impossible bonfire on a rain soaked day of the dead, and magical spreads during a mini psychic fair.
It is easy to get bogged down in the mire of the mundane world. We forget the mysteries with frightening speed if we don't reinforce our dedication to them. Even I can get lured into a trance of the logical world, a Newtonian clockwork of drudgery and limitations. That's why it is important for me to force myself to get out and about to share my gifts with those outside the magical community. It is from the eyes of others that we sometimes get to see the depth of our own mysteries. This is why I do a few events each year. I had stopped for a while as they had never been particularly profitable, but value extends beyond the glimmer of coin.
Years ago when I was the young reader on the scene, I considered myself pretty damn spiffy. At the time, I'd been reading for a decade nonprofessionally. Like any skill, the more you practice the better you get. It was only after going to fairs and meeting some others of the psychic persuasion that I began to doubt myself. You see their gifts fit neatly into categories. They were predictable, and seemed to be under their complete control. My gift remains to this day hard to define, and because of that I often doubt myself. In fact the more I try for specifics the less I seem to be able to see. The more I let go, the more readings seem to flow and the more amazing details emerge. Of course I don't know when they emerge as they are just as likely to come through an offhand comment I make to someone as they are to come from my interpretation of a card or rune. To sum up, when I'm being the most psychic I may be the least aware of it. That has been the bane of my confidence for years.
So the value for me participating in fairs for myself has been to restore faith in my intuitive faculty. I gave several readings this weekend that touched their recipients on a deep soul level. Their grateful reception helped me to remember that I am gifted and that I do provide value. That's a gentle reminder that I need in a society that tends to downplay the spiritual arts.
Why am I telling you this? Well I think it is good to be honest about my own struggles with my self image. People often don't see the challenges others face within their own minds. We simply see the results. The fact is that many people see what I do as frivolous or they wish they had my job because it seems so easy or enjoyable. While it does sometimes flow well, oftentimes I use a great deal of focus and concentration to bring forth results. It can be an exhausting process, and I often have very little control over that process. I simply show up and do my best.
How about you? Do you need a gentle reminder that your gifts are valid and valuable? Do you underestimate yourself? Do you share with others how much you value their skills? Well if you're in need of a refresher try sharing what you do outside of your normal haunts. See what is set loose when you are freed from the normal expectations. You may surprise yourself or simply remember the powerful being that you are.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, October 28, 2018
I hope you've a had a great week and you're eager for the festivities for the upcoming one. Next weekend the time changes and the gradual lessening of light will get quite the jumpstart. Even when the sun is shining now the light is thin and pale as opposed to little more than a month ago when the yellow heaviness of the sun beat down constantly. We are in autumn and winter is coming.
The past two months I've had lots of time to think and reflect on the year. I've gotten some clarity on some of my boundaries and while it took some uncomfortable experiences to get there I am grateful to finally have it clear for myself. One thing I learned many years ago was that psychic ability does not deliver moral authority. What I mean by that is just because you are more in tune with energies it doesn't follow that you are a better or more evolved human being. These abilities were called siddhis by the yogis and gurus. They were sometimes developed during people's spiritual practices, but adepts were warned that they could become distractions. They were not the goal merely a signpost. Some who developed one or more of these gifts would set themselves up as 'Teachers' and manipulate their students for their own gain. Many cults start this way.
These days many people are interested in developing psychic abilities. Some few are even quite successful at improving their own, but what is often not taught in development classes is the proper ethics of psychic gifts. When not to use these abilities is as important as learning to use them. Nobody likes a Peeping Tom, whether that is with physical or spiritual eyes. I'd always felt this but it hadn't crystalized until recently.
I teach many different types of classes: Tai Chi, Chi Kung, Rune work, Shamanic journeying, and various other methods of spiritual/psychic development. I get people with varying abilities in my classes. I have occasionally run across several folks who rather than participate will spend the whole class 'tracking' me. Basically they get their nose up in my energetic business. I've even had some get angry with me when they couldn't track me. This of course mystified me. Then it really pissed me off once it sank in. Firstly, I am a very private person. My energy and my inner thoughts are not for other people, that's why we have a spoken language; it conveys what we wish to express and share to others. Secondly, the arrogance that someone could properly interpret my subconscious inner world is staggering. I'm me and I don't even understand myself half the time. Thirdly, it's nobody else's GOD DAMN BUSINESS! Maybe I'm just a wee bit sensitive on the subject, but I've encountered people that have used their uninvited psychic prodding to hurt me.
Why am I telling you this? Well I'm doing my part to educate. I've talked this over with my teachers and they agreed with me. Tracking folks without their permission is a violation of their personal space. I mean you wouldn't go through someone's voicemail and text messages without permission would you? You wouldn't read through their personal journal without a green light from them? (If you would we're not going to be friends). So why would you think it's ok to get up into someone's energy without asking. I don't do it unless I'm in session with someone, because permission is part of the agreement. In order for me to work on someone or read for them I need access, so if you show up as my client you've given permission for while we are in session, and only while we are in session. Believe me the amount of focus it takes to properly sense, track, and interpret is not something I want to be doing 24/7.
How about you? Did you learn a psychic trick and decide everyone's head was your oyster? Have you had your inner world violated by thoughtless busy bodies? Do you stick your third eye where it hasn't been invited? If so I would suggest turning that eye inward to the places where you don't want to look because the traits or energies that you are seeing in others are more than likely within yourself. That's not to say that what you're seeing about others isn't true, but it is truth filtered through your lens of perception and experience, not theirs. If you find yourself on either side of this issue it is time to reassess. I've reinforced my personal energetic boundaries, and perhaps you should too. While you are at it, make sure you take time to respect the boundaries of the people you encounter.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, October 21, 2018
If you are wondering about the title this week it doesn't mean I've started a new career in fashion. I am talking about modeling of behavior in this post.
One of the things I've noticed in the past few years is how dependent we are on role models. While we are adept at figuring things out, our behavior patterns originate mostly from what we observe around us. This is true of both good and bad patterns. We don't learn discernment until much later in our life, and again if it isn't properly modeled for us it can be quite the baptism by fire. Our models can show us what not to do, and those can be instructive. However, I find the modeling of healthy patterns far more useful as they seem to be in short supply these days.
I struggle with selfishness. In the past few years though I have seen true generosity from people. I have seen thoughtfulness in action, and because of this some of my behaviors are changing. It's not that I am cruel, some things just literally never occurred to me until I saw someone else doing them. I've also been privileged to have teachers who model healthy compassionate boundaries that allow for self respect and the respect of others. Good boundaries oddly enough honor others as much as ourselves. Again it's something I had to witness in action before I could emulate it.
I think all that is going on in the world today is not so much because people are bad, but because they haven't been shown anything better. I keep thinking back to all the media I consumed as a kid growing up, and just how much garbage was in it. There were the ideas, "The good are the mighty, destroying your enemies is the solution, if you do something hard you get the girl." In real life these things don't play out so well. Most people are not archetypal characters. Heroes and villains are rarely so simply defined. People are complex, but our mainstream models are simplified, generic, and often outdated. When you start to dig into people's real motivation it is rarely if ever to foment evil in the realm. This makes me feel lied to by all those Saturday morning cartoons. Evil often wears the face of righteousness quite effectively.
So why am I telling you this? Well right now we have some really terrible role models on the global scene. Culturally we are still playing old stereotypes in our movies and television programming. We need good people modeling how to get along with each other, how to care for each other, and how to care for ourselves.
How about you? Do you have people modeling healthy interaction patterns around you? What about your actions? We are all a model to someone else sometime in our life. It could be someone you know or it could be a stranger, but the smallest act of kindness or cruelty from you could change the course of someone's life and the lives of the people around them. The behavior you choose to model could literally change the world. So when you get discouraged and think the tiny bit of good you've done can't help in a world gone mad, think again. You don't know who's watching, and you don't know how far they will take what they learn from you.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, October 7, 2018
I hope you've had a pleasant week. It certainly has been a challenging one from the cultural level.
Fair warming my liberal bent may a bit more on display in this post.
Unless you've been hiding under a rock for the past few weeks, you are aware that the recent nominee for the U.S. Supreme Court has been accused of sexual assault. I believe the accusers. This is the latest scandal and atrocity that this political climate has brought to light. We are in the middle of a cultural war. This goes beyond the war on women (which is a real thing guys), it goes beyond the right for same sex couples to marry, it goes beyond race, and it goes beyond religious extremism. At its most basic, it is clash between whether we wish to be an inclusive or exclusive culture.
I look around and I see grown men and women acting like kids do in middle school and high school. We have cliques for adults, they are called political parties, religions, and socio-economic status. In the past few years I have witnessed people say and do heinous things to anyone not in their clique. The fact that rape is terrible shouldn't be a controversial conclusion. Ripping children away from their parents and locking them in cages that look like dog kennels also should be easily recognized as evil. Destroying confidence in the press and 'facts' should also not be something to be applauded. Yet these things have been deemed a great success by those that champion the idea of exclusivity.
On the other end of the spectrum we have the idea of inclusiveness. Rather than trying to keep everyone else who isn't exactly like us out, we welcome them in. The idea that there is space at the table for everyone, oddly enough is not a new one. It is shared by many of the world's religions. Now most of us don't fall on the far end of either side of that spectrum. We also can move one direction or the other throughout our lives depending on our experiences and the company we keep. Exclusivity hoards privilege while inclusivity extends it.
Having been excluded quite a bit growing up I tend to fall in the camp that cheers for inclusivity. I was lucky being excluded as a kid from the social circles didn't affect my access to healthcare, housing, or my family. That same attitude which seeks to continue its cultural dominance is the one that contributes to bullying and violence. History shows us the dark harvest this paradigm reaps: slavery, poverty, and genocide.
Why am I telling you this? Well right now it is tough to remain hopeful as we witness our representatives champion cruelty in the name of exclusivity. Inclusiveness seems to be on the losing end of the argument at the moment. However the fire and noise that the exclusive camp is sending out shows that it feels threatened. It fears losing its dominance. In this time, it is probably the weakest it has been in recorded history. It may not feel like it, but if we keep pushing forward inclusiveness could become the norm. Imagine for a moment a world where people are treated fairly, and where our representatives care about everyone's well being. What could be accomplished if we didn't have one hand fighting to keep some people down? Think on it, keep hope alive, and keep speaking your truth.
Peace and Blessings,
Monday, October 1, 2018
Hope you've enjoyed the first few days of Autumn (if you're in the Northern Hemisphere). I started my season with drumming and despacho ceremony. The wheel turns and our lives move in a new pattern.
Autumn for me is a mixed bag. Some of my favorite things happen in this season, at the same time the fading light holds the promise of the dark winter to come. Fall is a time where I remember many friends that aren't with me anymore. It's a time of magic and of thinning veils. It is also the season in which I emerged from a shamanic death fifteen years ago. As the trees lost their leaves, and the animals laid down for the long winter sleep, I had new life racing through my body and spirit. I reclaimed myself from despair. As I've said previously, this summer was very challenging. In fact many of the conditions were a match for that summer that almost claimed my life. This time though I didn't have to fall so far. The wheel turned and hit me in the face, but I wasn't knocked down for the count. I think that means I've grown as a person.
The wheels of our lives turn, and we revisit similar situations throughout our lives. If we've done our work we interact with them from a different perspective. This is true on the personal as well as the collective level. Here in the U.S.A. we've been revisiting a lot of old patterns. In the past two years we've seen racism, sexism, and fascism make an unfortunate return to the mainstream culture. Although to be accurate they were always there, they were simply glossed over with platitudes and code words to sanitize them for the masses. There is a lot of people reacting with the "We've seen this before." They're right we have. I hope that this time we respond from a more mature and inclusive perspective. If we don', have no fear, the wheel will turn again and we'll be right back here.
Why am I telling you this? Well if you're like me, a lot of your old tendencies have been making an encore performance in your life lately. Although it is uncomfortable, it is also an opportunity. We have the option to respond differently. We can maybe even change directions so that this the last time the wheel brings this situation to us.
So how about you? Has the wheel of life brought back challenges you thought you had already tackled? Does the world seem to be stuck on the same song on the playlist? What if you brought to bear all the wisdom you've learned since the first time you heard that tune? What if you worked towards a different future? What if collectively we did the same? It's worth pondering as we wait for the wheel to turn.
Peace and Blessings,
Wednesday, September 19, 2018
Once again I am late posting. I am not sorry. I have been tending to my own needs, and putting time into my own healing path.
Lately I have found it difficult to write as I navigate my own challenges. In the past I have written my way through my own problems. This past summer though I've been moving through relationship struggles. I have found it near impossible to get to a more detached perspective in order to write about it in a way that is not calling someone out. That is not what this blog is about. It is about recognizing the patterns in my life that may apply to others, as well as my responses and thought processes as I encounter the world. I do sometimes rant about things, but if I rant I want it to be about a condition or pattern that many people are experiencing. I want to draw a line between someone being wrong about an issue and just being wrong. I have been labelled as 'wrong' before it is not something I wish to inflict on others.
All that said, I finally can talk in general terms about my experiences of the past 4 months. It can be summed up by saying I have not been treated with kindness. If you know me and are reading this, and are wondering if I am talking to you specifically, I am not. This pattern was pretty well spread around, it did not have one source. This has forced me to withdraw quite a bit from my social world. Many have negatively interpreted this or taken it personally. I suppose it is on a level, but mostly it was to preserve myself intact. Although it may seem like it sometimes, my heart is not made of stone or steel. It can break. The good news is that shamans for thousands of years have had the knowledge to put people back together. They have the technology to make you better, faster, stronger, and less of an asshole. So when I got to my breaking point I reached out. (Special thanks to my teachers).
When I was in a space where I was coherent enough to journey I went to see my power animal. When I asked him why people continued to treat me in this way he said, "You haven't fully stepped into and embodied your power. There is a space that is empty in you, and that space people project upon. Those that are in balance project kindness and generosity, those that are suffering project their pain onto you." He then took me to Eagle. Not the power animal eagle but to Eagle, Keeper of the East on the medicine wheel. Eagle did healing work on me which was so profound I wept copiously and shook in my chair (almost like convulsions but in a good way). After he had finished I asked him what to do about my relationship struggles. He answered, "Do what is there to do, just be." That may sound simple, but it was quite profound. My tendency is to run around trying to fix everything and make everyone okay with me. He wasn't finished with being all majestic though because he added, "To become Eagle you must become a man without enemies."
There is a lot to unpack there. I have for many years had the Mooneagle Shit List. Rest assured if you were on it, you worked real hard to get there. Now of course I am being told to retire that. Cancel all my grudges. Don't exile people into the outer wastes of the world. I would like to be clear here, me not having enemies doesn't mean I am just hunky dory with everyone. It doesn't mean I try to make everyone like me and please everyone. It doesn't mean I don't stand up for myself, a cause, or other people. It simply means I don't hold onto the adversarial energy and make it personal. Of course when someone hurts you it is very hard to not take that personally, but Eagle was very clear that the next stage of my development was about not doing that. It was about forgiveness and not carrying around the weight of the 'me versus them' mindset.
So why am I telling you this. Well I felt it was important to explain my absence these last few weeks as I did my inner work. I also believe many of us are indoctrinated into the adversarial mindset. Growing up we have stories with heroes and villains. We paint ourselves as the heroes of our life and those we have difficulty with become villains. We interpret all their actions through that lens, and odds are we misinterpret their motivations a fair bit of the time. We then have to hold ourselves rigidly during our encounters, not just with those people but with everyone. We're always on alert for the next arch-nemesis. This makes it easy in the sense that we have people to blame when things don't turn out the way we want them, and that is convenient because life rarely turns out the way we expect it to.
How about you? Have you got a shit list? Are you looking to expand it or burn it? Do you carry the weight of the past on your shoulders or is your heart light? I know I have carried the weight for far too long, and I would like to be lighter of heart. I don't expect it to be easy, but I do expect it to be worthwhile. Join me in a place beyond us and them, where we simply are.
Peace and Blessings,