Sunday, July 15, 2018
Another week gone by and another blog post to pen. The summer has finally brought its bounty in tomatoes to my garden. The sound of the summer wind is heard in the chorus of cicadas and other insects. The long warm days and golden twilight remind me of years past.
You really can't get good store bought tomatoes. They have to harvest them green and spray them with a gas to force ripen them on the way. Otherwise they are too fragile to transport. So if you want really good tomatoes you have to goto a local farmers market or you have to grow them yourself. These cherry tomatoes have a vibrance and sweetness to them that they won't have at the tail end of the season. They'll still be hands down better than any ones you could get at the supermarket, but right now they have the sweetness of the sun in them.
When it comes down to it all life is a bit of captured starlight specifically our star, the sun. Nature has found a way of taking that light and infusing us with it via the food we eat, the fuels we use, and even the very vitamins in our body. When we are children we tend to personalize nature. That's why you see happy faces in crayon drawings of the sun. As we grow older we seem to pay less attention to these stalwart celestial objects. The sun and the moon become more abstract concepts as we lose our relationship to them. As we move through a human centric world we can if we're not careful succumb to the feeling of separation and isolation, even as we engage in 'social' media. We have lost connection to the land, sun, moon, rain, and winds. A vast majority of us eat food so processed that our ancestors wouldn't consider it real food. We live in highly inefficient climate controlled boxes (not that I don't like AC believe me with the weather we've had I am grateful) and we barely interact with each other.
Why am I telling you this? Well I think so many of us, myself included, have forgotten the real elements of life. We are bombarded by empty entertainments and instant communication, but we are drowning in isolation. In short. we have forgotten what matters. Not just in the human world, but in the world of our animal cousins and plant neighbors. I have watched as neighbors and friends have put their heads in the sand as atrocities committed in our names are perpetrated against people and the health of the planet. Fouled waterways are someone else's problem, mass incarceration is not their fault, and children ripped from their families and put in cages are part of a political slogan. I can't imagine that there is much sweetness in the lives of those that would choose to harm others they have never met.
So how about you? Are you aware of your roots? Can you taste the sweetness of the sun in your fruits? Is the world of men leaving a foul taste in your spirit? There are other relationships we can cultivate beyond our human neighbors. We can be friend to the sun and streams. We can be lovers to the moon. We can delight in the song of the wind. My hope is that as we reconnect to those relationships that we'll act in a way that honors them. The echo of our soul is to be found in nature, for we too are part of nature. Remember that as you enjoy the fruits of the seasons.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, July 8, 2018
I hope your week went well. Everything seems to be happening at once which if you don't hold with linear time is alright. If you are still operating under that dream then you best hold onto your hat, because this is where things get weird.
For quite a while now I've been seeding possibilities for many different ventures. It seems they are all coming up right at the same time. I find myself slightly overwhelmed. I'm simultaneously getting back into my artwork, while setting up a chi kung video, speaking at a new psychic fair, and I am preparing to teach my first international workshop. I think it is apt that it happens to be about the multidimensional nature of the soul. It quite literally is a quantum leap forward for my life. (Side note tell me which of the above images should be the poster).
As I was flipping through channels today I saw that the movie Tomorrowland was on. This movie got rather poor reviews and a lackluster reception at the box office when it came out. There was a complaint that it was too optimistic. Looking around these days I can't think of better praise for something. One quote that sticks with me is, "Dreamers have to stick together." One of the central points of the film is that our dreams for our future shape and guide it. I am reminded of the teachings of the Inca who had a type of shaman whose sole purpose was to dream the world into being. That dream was a quantum snapshot, collapsing the possibilities into place forming the structure of our participatory reality.
So why am I telling you this? Well if you look around our world it seems that our quantum snapshot got stuck in one of our nightmares rather than the more pleasant dreams. We live in an age of distraction. Everything between ads, social media, traditional media, and political leaders are doing their best to distract us from our quantum nature. That part of us is capable of incredible and sometimes instantaneous transformation. The power structures of the world are afraid of that. A vast number of us have both the information and technology at our fingertips to create world altering phenomena. So they sing lullabies and conjure apocalyptic visions to keep our minds focused on what we fear. Then they jump in to 'save' us from the bad ugly thing that terrifies us.
So how about you? Are you ready to take a quantum leap forward (or sideways, or slantwise) in life? Are you entranced by the 24 hour media storm of tragedy and scandal? Is your instagram feed eating your soul? Are you letting the sands of your life slip away reading endless blog posts? Not this one of course. ;-) Well I think it is time to get synched up with your soul, access that power, and DREAM BIG BABY! Make the powers shake in their little boots. Tear off the roof of what's possible. Forge a destiny and write it in the stars above. The world needs dreamers like you badly. Heed the call. Leap forward and claim your dreaming self. I will see you in that delicious reverie.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, July 1, 2018
I hope your week went well. We've had intense weather as well as a lovely full moon. I sometimes wonder how much to share in these musings. It felt really good last week to spew forth a blue streak of my frustrations. However I also realize that this blog gets shared to both my homepage and my author page on amazon. I need to present as professional for potential clients and customers, so I try to balance between authenticity and prudence. Many people have an idea in their head that people who do this sort of work are more evolved. They mistakenly think that we don't have blind spots or flaws. I believe this sort of thinking is dangerous for people who seek spirit practitioners and for the spirit practitioners themselves. It fosters an imbalanced power dynamic that can allow the more wounded parts of the self to exert an undue influence. You see this in the rise of cults, where the leader starts to believe his (or her) own hype. I find it difficult to reconcile broadcasting my human failings with the idea that I can be of service to you. Maybe I lose some business, but I like to think that the people who end up coming to see me do so with eyes open. Hopefully it balances out.
Lately I've been building the energy for my summer workshop series I'll be teaching in Minneapolis and Thunder Bay in August. I've been playing around with my crystal skull Pepe. He is very jolly skull and I can't wait for all the participants to experience his particular vibe. He's been enjoying being around for my ceremonies and grids. Friday at the office he was present as I opened the space, which I do the same way each time. As I did so I had a strong multidimensional feeling, it was if there was a line of me behind and in front of me across time. All of us were performing the opening ceremony together. This brought home the idea of working across time to create more powerful effects. This is also one of the reasons that I do my prayer ceremony on the same day every week. If I was really spiffy I would do it at the exact same time, but that would be expecting life to be a bit more predictable than is realistic.
Time is a funny concept. I've mostly felt it like a weight. Staying in the same place too long it can sometimes be a challenge to break out of a pattern. As I walk down the same streets I feel the echo of all the times I have walked down them before, and what I carried with me. The flip side of that is I also have all the times that I transcended on my side too. Learning to access more of myself, I can leverage more power to create the life I desire. We exist across time for a reason. We cannot be contained in only one moment. Our soul needs that continuum to bring out all of our richness.
So why am I telling you this? Well, our habits carve grooves in time. This can work for us or against us. The more we show up in a loving way, the more of that loving self there is to call upon in every other moment of our lives. The more times we ask Spirit to come into our lives, the more powerful the effect, because we have the cumulative effect of that intervention.
How about you? Are you neglecting the dimension of time in your life? Are you valuing it? Are you using it in a mindful way? Are you gathering all your past selves to you lovingly? What about your future selves? Do you feel burdened by the familiar paths? Do you long to cut a new path across the valley of time? Do you spend your days feeling isolated from the vastness of your soul? If so I suggest you pick an action whether it be prayer, meditation, or exercise and engage your selves across time both past and future. Check into to all those emanations of the soul across the timeline. See how that feels, until next time.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, June 24, 2018
I hope your week was fruitful. I had an eventful one with the summer solstice falling on Thursday. It meant for a second ceremony this week beyond my Friday prayers.
This week for me was all about self care. I'd hit the wall as far as tiredness goes. I have obligations that are usually easy to meet, a weekly prayer ceremony and quarterly drumming (sometimes accompanied by despacho). I didn't know how I was going to be able to show up and be effective. So I asked for what I wanted. I took a meditation break in the afternoon rather than heading to the store to get flowers and other despacho supplies. I was ready to let go of doing the despacho ceremony, but other people agreed to step in and bring what I needed. I was glad that I went ahead and included it as part of the solstice ceremony, but I am equally glad that I honored my individual needs and delegated some of the tasks.
Lately when people have asked me how I have been I have one word that describes it, tired. You'd be surprised how often that response is ridiculed or down played. I've been helping with caregiving this past month for not one but two relatives while trying to continue my normal work activities. The reality of it is that I have one relative who is in the process of dying, the other has a long recovery from a serious surgical procedure. So my fatigue is both physical and emotional. I haven't been able to follow up with self care like meditation, and plain old sleeping to recuperate. Amidst this I've had people say things like, "Well no one ever died from lack of sleep," , or this, "You don't have kids how can you be tired?", or my personal favorite, "You can sleep when you're dead." Let me respond to those statements by saying, "Fuck you and may thousands of voracious fleas infest your genitals!" I'm sorry that was inappropriate, maybe I'm just a bit emotional, maybe it's because I'm FUCKING TIRED!
I don't know who started the Cult of the Perpetually Exhausted, but I hope they died in a horrific accident caused by their sleep deprivation. Now sleep isn't the only form of rest sometimes just sitting quietly with no plans or expectations can be wonderful. For some reason our society has waged a war against being well rested. If we aren't on the go and being productive we are deemed weak or lazy. The go till you drop mindset has infected our workplaces and we even carry that into into our personal lives overcommitting to events and activities. There are times when you do have to put in extra effort and push past limits, but in times past you'd expect to rest afterwards. These days it is just onto the next overpacked scheduled task.
So why am I telling you this? Well I've had less patience for people lately so I do apologize. It's become taboo to take care of our own needs. Good intelligent people actually feel guilty for taking any amount of time to rest. This cannot stand. Lack of rest and downtime might not immediately kill you (unless you operate heavy machinery regularly), but it does suck the life out of living. I am lucky that usually my schedule is fairly flexible, but many of us don't have that option and no matter what people say it is slowly killing us.
How about you? Are you a card carrying cult member? Are you at war with getting rest? Do you put your physical needs for downtime on the sidelines? If you do, you're not alone. Many of us have this habit, and like any habit we can change it with a little effort and consistency. If others have unrealistic expectations for you, tell them. I mean somebody should. Think of it as doing them a favor, maybe they'll start to tend to their own needs a bit better. So I hope this missive finds you well and well rested. Take a summer nap and think of me.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, June 17, 2018
I may actually get my blog post out on time this week. I feel so accomplished.
Well this week I was at my lowest I've been in many years mentally and physically. I was exhausted in my body and in my heart. A lot of people think that life doesn't happen to me because I'm all magical and mysterious. That of course is complete bullshit. I have the same struggles and challenges that everyone does (plus a few others that come with being 'special'). What I have been dealing with lately is the decline of a grandparent and the convalescence of a parent. That has been the backdrop to some longstanding interaction patterns that are unhealthy and in some cases toxic in my family. You know what they say if you think you're enlightened go spend a week with your family.
In times of stress we don't think clearly. Well at least I don't. It is easy to shut down and become fixated on the current dilemma. For me it is like a script in my head telling me what's going on and where it will lead. Normally there is some balance with that, but in certain instances it is like our brains get stuck on the same station and for some reason they are playing the same bad song over and over. The thing that I have noticed is that the voice dictating the script in my head has been repeating other people's projections of me (or if we want to get real technical my perception of their projections). What was alarming about this projection was it was wearing my face, and masquerading as my identity. I had internalized these projections true or not, and now they were ruling the roost. So Mr. False Face was reading my internal dialog and it was pretty nihilistic. So sometimes I forget that I have tools. Luckily I also have many allies, and some are very persistent with getting my attention. Long story short, I went to see my power animal and they shook me loose a bit. After that journey I still had that inner monologue in my head, but I now had other counterpoint voices saying things like, "I don't think that's true," or "Well that's not helpful at all," or "You only think they think that about you, odds are that's not right."
Yes I have voices in my head. I talk to myself, sometimes I crack myself up too. I was telling another practitioner that was working on me that having multiple voices in my head was far preferable to having just one. One voice makes it very easy to obsess and get stuck in an unhealthy idea. To quote a favorite show of mine, "A delusion starts out like any other idea." Having multiple inner voices actually helps me to hold more than one perspective. This is a useful skill if you are giving intuitive readings, but it is also useful tool in general for discernment. In this middle world we have to discern truth from lies, balance from imbalance, and love from fear. We have to be able to examine our own thoughts, and having multiple points of view in your own head is a great start.
So why am I telling you this? Well many of you may have noticed that I haven't been on my stride the last few weeks, or that my posts have been sort of morose. This happens, sometimes life knocks us down. The important thing is to find a way to get back up, or ask for a hand. It is easy to obsess over what is not right in our lives or what is 'wrong' with us (or someone else). It's okay to have those thoughts, but you probably don't want to have them on continuous playback.
How about you? Do you have a monolithic voice dictating your identity and circumstances to you? Is the voice kind? Is the voice helpful? Is it accurate? Does it wear your face, but seem to act like a past authority figure you've encountered? What if we opened up the internal forum for more voices of reason and feeling? None of us are just one thing, so why should one voice speak for our psyche? In the coming weeks encourage your various voices to speak up. You might be surprised to find that what you thought was you, is really a masked figure from your past. Thank them for their input and then pass the microphone.
Peace and Blessings,
Wednesday, June 13, 2018
I hope you had a great first week of June. I've been kept busy between assisting family members with caregiving this week and also officiating a wedding. However I did get out one evening to see a movie with friends and that was wonderful.
This morning as I was teaching my Tai Chi class I had an interesting experience. The fitness room that I teach in has mirrored walls on two sides of the room. One of those walls has doors leading to a supply closet They were not quite latched so the mirrors were slightly eschew. Now as I led class toward that wall I noticed I had no reflection showing, due to the angle of the doors. I was seeing all the students but not myself. This struck me as very strong metaphor.
Often we don't see ourselves, only those around us. For me personally I've struggled a lot throughout my life in envisioning a positive future for myself. Having no reflection showing in front of me was a clear reminder that this is still an issue for me. I got used to not looking too far ahead or making plans beyond the next project. I don't see myself on the path before me. That is of course one interpretation of this coincidence. Another could be that none of us really see ourselves only the people around us, and it is through their actions that we form our self image. Sometimes though we don't even want to look at ourselves, afraid of what we might find there.
There comes a point in life where many of us settle for just getting by, because the way our society is structured makes that very difficult. Not all dreams should come to fruition, but there are deep yearnings in our hearts that when we deny them, we die a little. I'm not talking of dreams of huge homes and fancy cars. I'm speaking of how we live, relate to each other, and how we spend the bulk of our time. Why do we accept so much less? Is it because we don't think we deserve what our heart longs for? Is it because we think we cannot have it? Is it because we are afraid that if we get what we want we'll still be unhappy and it is better to not risk the disappointment?
I do apologize this post is not exactly up lifting. Still even in darker musings there can be some wisdom and value to be found. I have found that living through hard times has made me get very specific about what I don't want, which makes it easier to seek out what I do. I hope that your time in the shadow land is brief, and that you learn something to your advantage while you are moving through it. While you are there it can be tempting to just focus on getting through, but try if you can to envision where you want to come out of the tunnel. Beyond pain there is more than just relief, there is laughter, joy, and love...always love. I wish for all of that for you.
Peace and Blessings,
Wednesday, June 6, 2018
I hope you are doing well. I know this post is several days late. Be thankful there is one at all. The post is late because I've been overwhelmed lately.
So there has been some health issues in my family and I am stepping in a bit more to help out. This has left me tired both physically and mentally. At the same time it seems people in my social sphere are all going through some rough patches. Last month I was feeling grief for the past quite acutely. It has not left me, but I am currently also dealing with current issues. In times such as these where things must get done, I tend to unplug emotionally. It seems to be the way that I can cope with demands on my energy. This does of course make me less receptive to holding space for others when they are feeling tender.
I don't think I am unique in this. We all tend to dissociate from time to time if we feel things are too intense for us to handle and function, or we have breakdown. I've had those but only on the inside. I kept plugging along on my have to do list whilst I quietly freaked out behind my eyes. So in the past 2 weeks I've been less empathetic than I normally tend to be. I've not had the energy. I've come to a place where no matter what I do somebody is going to be super pissed and project their struggle onto me. I can't help that. I started to worry over it, and it was just more to carry. So I stopped and put it down. I realized I couldn't hold space for anyone else right now but myself. This had nothing to do with any personal flaw or being a bad person.
Why am I telling you this? Well there are times when we just don't have it to give of ourselves. All we can do is hold ourselves gently up and acknowledge our limits without judgment. We can't be all things all the time, nor should we. Compassion starts with the self even when we can't show up the we think we should for others.
How about you? Are you burned out from your own trauma, but expecting yourself to help others process theirs? Are you past exhaustion but piling more duties on your plate? Do you give yourself the space to hold your own feelings in compassion, or do you just do that for others? Well at some point you will stop, and in my experience it is better if you make that choice consciously rather than having it made for you. Be gentle with yourself, and forgive yourself. Those around you will do so in their own time.
Peace and Blessings,