What We Weave

Greetings all,

I hope you've had a peaceful week.  I can hardly believe we come to the end of 2018.  This past Friday I did my last weekly ceremony of the year.   I made a slideshow of all of them,  it is easy to forget how much goes into all of it until you see it all at once.

As I stand on the precipice of a new year, I'm not quite sure which course to chart.  I've been in a holding it together pattern for a while.  The shape of my life has changed and will continue to, but I haven't yet chosen what I will become when I exit the cocoon.  It is not that I have no direction, I have several projects lined up:  a new book to write, new artwork from the clay studio, continuing my study of chi kung, producing my first workout DVD, and offering some of the workshops I've developed over the past few years locally.  I simply have not yet set my heart into them as yet.  I just don't know what will light my heart on fire.  Right now I am making space for what is to come.

I laughed for the first time in months two nights ago.  I mean real deep, fall off the couch type laughter.  I think that is a good sign of things to come.  I'm beginning to long for things and experiences that had just fallen by the wayside.  That is also a good sign.  Being in the seeker mode precedes the creator mode for me.  This year I want to be more conscious of what I bring in.  It is not that hard to manifest, it is hard to manifest consciously and wisely.  Often in the past I got exactly what I asked for, only to find out I really didn't know what I wanted.

Why am I talking about this?  Well I am quite sure you've had one of your desires come true at some point and then promptly wished you had a receipt for it to take back to the universe's customer service desk.  Getting what we want is not always a pleasant experience.  I think it is a good idea to ask ourselves a few questions.  What does this wish require of me (i.e.  will I have the time, energy, and resources to manage this)?  Will this fundamentally alter the quality of my life?  Let's also not forget, will this enhance my relationship with myself and others?  Really any change I'm asking for needs to hit on those points, or at least solve a problem I have currently.

So how about you?  Are you looking back on the year and assessing the path you've walked?  Are you considering the road ahead?  It is important to step back from time to time and see what the our contribution to the tapestry of our lives has become.  Time is the loom on which we weave life, but we have to pay attention if want a clear pattern to emerge.  It's fine to have some background here and there, but at some point we need to make the loom weave something we intend.  So in this time of resolutions and gatherings, cherish what you have.  Spin the straw of your life into golden thread, and brighten the heavens with your creation.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Midwinter

Greetings all,

It has been a few weeks.   My heart has not been in the blog much of late.  For those of you who don't know I had a death in the family early in December.  I'd been expecting it for a while, but it still sidelined me for a bit.  I'd been involved in caregiving for my grandmother for the past eleven years.  This year her health rapidly declined.  She was 98 when she passed away.  I've kept up with my weekly prayer ceremony commitments and teaching my classes, but after that I just didn't have much energy to write.  I also didn't have much to say.

Friday was the winter solstice, the longest night of the year.  I've often referred to my winter solstice drumming as the movable ceremony.  I never seem to have it in the same place two years in a row.  This year I held it at the Louisville Spiritualist Center.  We drummed for 3 rounds with a short break in between them.  The first round was for gratitude.  The second round was to call in our guides and helpers.  The third round we gifted our light to the darkness within us.

Drumming ceremonies can be very simple.  You call in the directions to create sacred space.  You set an intention, and then you drum a steady beat.  Our first round seemed to take the most energy to get everyone in sync.  During the second round, it flowed much smoother and I even had guidance for the  third round come in (which makes sense since that round was about calling in our guides).  The third round was pure magic.  When the tempo changed for me, nobody missed a beat we all changed our rhythm at the exact same moment as if we shared a single mind.  Time also seemed to stretch.  The drumming sessions seemed to last for a very long time, but after all the rounds we still had a half hour left in the scheduled event time.  It still amazes me that just by the simple beat of the drum we were able to form a temporary telepathic bond, and alter the perceived flow of time.  Afterwards I felt like someone had hit the reset button on my energy.

Darkness can be disorienting, so can loss.  Right now I am not sure which direction I am going.  I don't have to know today or tomorrow.  I can take my time to get realigned.  Ceremonies are useful to help us orient ourselves in the world.  By honoring things like the seasonal turning points we synchronize our rhythms to the rhythms of nature.  Like all the drummers playing together, we are stronger when we are aligned.  I felt very grateful to be able to share that with others.  Our numbers came to 17 for the ceremony.  In tarot the 17th card of the major arcana is the Star.  It is a card of hope, dreams, and transcendence.

Why am I telling you this?  Well for many people 2018 was a brutal slog through loss and discouragement.  We are in the dark half of the year where our inner strength and attitude is tested.  It is no accident that our ancestors began these holiday celebrations at these times.  It is the time where human beings need to come together and celebrate the most.  We need the warmth, not just in our bodies but our hearts as well.   Sharing joy in company is what makes the season shine in the memories of children their whole life.  As life progresses though things happen, hearts break, people pass on, and we can be left feeling only the loss for what was, instead of trying to create that love and warmth in new ways with new people.

So in this dark time, love as much as you can.  If you need to grieve, then grieve.  If you feel alone, seek other lost souls who feel the same and comfort them.  Be the star that others find their way by. Find a way to bring joy to yourself and one another.  That for me is the true reason for the season.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Gratitude

Greetings all,

Lately I have taken breaks from writing.  There is a lot in the works.  The altar set up above was from my post Thanksgiving weekly prayers.  The Friday after Thanksgiving is always easy for me to find the prayer focus as it is always about gratitude.

I won't lie, the last few years have been really tough for me.  I've ended relationships, I've lost people, and I have more loss ahead.  I don't want to sugarcoat things, because sometimes as we drive along the road of life a long stretch of it is truly awful.  However, I do think it is important to acknowledge our blessings and give thanks for what continues to support us.  It's easy to take for granted what we have.  I continue to have some top notch people in my life.  I have several phenomenal teachers with impeccable integrity.  I have a handful of good friends that want the best for me.  I have work that is meaningful to me and makes a difference.  I often forget that teaching Tai Chi in some ways boils down to being paid to workout more.  How many people do you know that get paid for that? I have a warm place to sleep, and I always have food.  I am in fairly good shape and health.  It's easy to see only what is missing or what doesn't measure up, but the truth is I have lot going for me in this moment.

As holiday madness descends, it can be tempting to compare our lives to how we think they ought to be.  No holiday has the power to banish longstanding familial strife, or personal trauma.  It is more than likely that holidays will stir up the heaviness we carry within.  We don't have to be perfect Christmas cards (and the even more annoying holiday brag letter) people. All of us have ups and downs, including yours truly.  I know of no power or magic that will change that, it is simply part of being alive.  Gratitude helps us to remember to be humble.  Much of what we have is due to no special worthiness or quality that we possess, it is simply a product of grace and luck.  Where we are born, the resources we have, are in large part completely beyond our control.  Nothing we have or do is completely ours.  We've all had help and a bit of luck.

So why am I telling you this now two weeks after the fact?  Well I'm sure many of you got caught up in the feasting, and maybe even shopping.  Thanksgiving for many years was my favorite holiday as I got to spend time with loved ones without all the fuss of worrying over presents.  It is often treated as food laden gateway into the holiday season, but I believe it is crucial to regularly reflect on our blessings.  If we don't, we can easily become selfish and greedy, and those traits never lead to fulfillment.

How about you?  Have you spent the time to really reflect on what you have going for you?  Have you told those around you how much you appreciate them?  Have you counted your near misses with tragedy as blessings too?  Well you may want to take some time in between holiday parties, decorating, work, and shopping to feel into your gratitude.  Until next time.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle