Greetings all,
It has been a rough week, but it is too soon to talk about some of that. So before all went down I was considering a topic and I am going to go ahead and write about that. When I have more fully processed recent events I will address them.
If you couldn't guess by the title this post is probably not going to be safe for work, or for kids. So make sure you're not on the clock or have left this tab open where your children can see it. Right, now that the logistics are taken care of we can begin. The two words "FUCK OFF" have tremendous power. They are offensive, but they also declare without doubt our boundaries. They are angry words, but sometimes anger is the appropriate response.
I was twenty five before I realized I had the power to tell people to go fuck themselves. This phrase saved my life. I was dying surrounded by those who didn't honor me, who drained me, and made me doubt every good thing about myself. I was constantly being belittled with every interaction. The tiniest remark on its own is nothing, but when it is systemic and unrelenting it all adds up. It was the death of a thousand cuts. I was raised to be nice and to treat my friends well. I also had been led to this group of people for my development, and I had grown tremendously from knowing them. However, I thought that this meant I owed them. I had to stick by them no matter what they did to me. I was wrong. Although they did have one more thing to teach me and that was the healing power of "FUCK OFF!"
When who we are has been trod upon and our own sacredness has been defecated upon there is no better medicine than getting the hell out of dodge and telling people where they can stick it. Some of you may be thinking that isn't very evolved or kind. Well I never claimed I was Jesus Christ. I'm Thomas Mooneagle and sometimes I have a potty mouth. (Except around children and grandparents that is). The thing is, in certain circumstances, telling someone to FUCK OFF is being kind to yourself. There are people who won't respect you in this life. They won't treat you in a way that is decent. If you keep those people around, you are only hurting yourself. If you are constantly hurting yourself, then you aren't able to be fully present in your life for those that actually need you and want you around.
You don't always have to use those exact words. A friend I used to have (yes they got the FO treatment too) used to say, "There are many ways to say FUCK YOU!" They were right about that. It is all about the intent. A good FO intent is more important than the actual words you use. They could sound out of context very sweet, but still broadcast loud and clear what you mean. It is satisfying to deliver, no matter which words you use, and it is the beginning of reclaiming your power from someone. It is not the only way to reclaim power, and again it is not the panacea for every ill. However to not use a tool because of some quaint notion on what so called spiritually evolved people are supposed to do is stupid.
So how about you? Has someone violated your sacred boundaries? Is someone telling you or showing you with their behavior that you aren't that important to them. Have they stepped over the line in a way that you can't let go of? Good news you don't have to. Drop an F bomb or whatever your choice of final parting words suit your situation and sail right out of their life. I promise you there are other people that will treat you better the moment you stop letting others treat you poorly.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
Musings
Saturday, February 27, 2016
Friday, February 19, 2016
Tracks in the Snow
Greetings all,
Well plans do change don't they. Originally I would have been on the road now, but my travel plans have been sidelined for the time being. The weather swings back and forth now, although in the last few days I have tasted a bit of spring in the wind. Before winter breathes its last though snow is teaching me a thing or two.
I was covering a shift during the last snow. It came down a bit quicker than they had predicted. Even with closing early the way home was tricky. While I was closing up though, I noticed all the tracks in the back lot as I took out the trash and loaded up the car. Every step was marked changing the surface of the otherwise fluffy white blanket. I saw tracks swerve, go straight, and double back on themselves. I noticed my own tracks and how much they changed the landscape. I normally don't think about the paths I take. I am focused more on where I'm going and where I came from, but here all that was apparent was the path of the tracks.
It is difficult to put into words the understanding that came from the simple visual of footprints in the snow. (No it wasn't the footprints on the sand poster where I was being carried either). I was seeing how much we wander. How much we retrace our steps. I was aware of all the paths we take unaware and yet we arrive here. Again that isn't it, because it was a feeling, a knowing, a deep secret. It was sacred. We see our world and our life in little snapshots. It's probably why Facebook and Instagram are so popular. Very few of us watch the path. The path is where the patterns are, and if you can see the track of the path you know where it will lead. This is the secret to divination. You see the path and can estimate the destination.
Too much of my life was spent moving with no direction trying not to make waves. I muddled around on the worn paths of those around me. As my footprints travel further away from the masses I feel more myself, but just like being out in the snow I feel alone. Yes I know I am not alone. There are the spirits the presences of those between. I felt them in that moment looking at my path on the fallen flakes. If I follow my song within me, my tracks will veer father, and I don't know what other tracks will intersect. Still seeing all my footprints laid out there was one clear message amidst the vision. It was, are you ready? Be mindful of your path.
So how about you? Do you think about the paths you take? Do you consider the effect you have as you move through the world? If each step we take leaves a mark, then what are your marks doing for yourself, others, and the world at large? What happens when you become aware of how you move through your life? Would you change course? Would you tighten your stride, or would you give yourself permission to stray a bit off the worn paths and meander? Try becoming aware as you walk, imagine leaving a series of glowing steps. What does that do to your concept of life and meaning? Let me know as you wander by.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
Well plans do change don't they. Originally I would have been on the road now, but my travel plans have been sidelined for the time being. The weather swings back and forth now, although in the last few days I have tasted a bit of spring in the wind. Before winter breathes its last though snow is teaching me a thing or two.
I was covering a shift during the last snow. It came down a bit quicker than they had predicted. Even with closing early the way home was tricky. While I was closing up though, I noticed all the tracks in the back lot as I took out the trash and loaded up the car. Every step was marked changing the surface of the otherwise fluffy white blanket. I saw tracks swerve, go straight, and double back on themselves. I noticed my own tracks and how much they changed the landscape. I normally don't think about the paths I take. I am focused more on where I'm going and where I came from, but here all that was apparent was the path of the tracks.
It is difficult to put into words the understanding that came from the simple visual of footprints in the snow. (No it wasn't the footprints on the sand poster where I was being carried either). I was seeing how much we wander. How much we retrace our steps. I was aware of all the paths we take unaware and yet we arrive here. Again that isn't it, because it was a feeling, a knowing, a deep secret. It was sacred. We see our world and our life in little snapshots. It's probably why Facebook and Instagram are so popular. Very few of us watch the path. The path is where the patterns are, and if you can see the track of the path you know where it will lead. This is the secret to divination. You see the path and can estimate the destination.
Too much of my life was spent moving with no direction trying not to make waves. I muddled around on the worn paths of those around me. As my footprints travel further away from the masses I feel more myself, but just like being out in the snow I feel alone. Yes I know I am not alone. There are the spirits the presences of those between. I felt them in that moment looking at my path on the fallen flakes. If I follow my song within me, my tracks will veer father, and I don't know what other tracks will intersect. Still seeing all my footprints laid out there was one clear message amidst the vision. It was, are you ready? Be mindful of your path.
So how about you? Do you think about the paths you take? Do you consider the effect you have as you move through the world? If each step we take leaves a mark, then what are your marks doing for yourself, others, and the world at large? What happens when you become aware of how you move through your life? Would you change course? Would you tighten your stride, or would you give yourself permission to stray a bit off the worn paths and meander? Try becoming aware as you walk, imagine leaving a series of glowing steps. What does that do to your concept of life and meaning? Let me know as you wander by.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
Saturday, February 13, 2016
Dark deeds
Greetings all,
I hope you've had an enjoyable week so far. Mine has been eventful. Most notable has been the trouble I had sleeping the first half of it. A quick check on Facebook showed that many other people were experiencing interruptions in their sleep patterns as well.
I love to sleep. I love the peace that accompanies settling down and waking up before I need to, drifting in out of a dream until it is time to rise. A night's sleep with good dreams (good being a relative term as some of my most useful dreams are nightmares) can completely change my outlook on a situation. When sleep refuses to come despite exhaustion it can be very frustrating. Insomnia is a major problem in modern society. Many of us simply can't shut our brain off.
Now I have a few tricks up my sleeve for sleep. I have brainwave entrainment, chi kung, or yoga to help mellow me out. This time though none of that was working. Of course the more you try to force yourself to sleep the less likely it is to happen. One night I laid in bed until nearly 6 in the morning getting nowhere close to sleep. This was night 3 or 4 of minimal to no sleep. Finally I got up and lit the candles on my altar. I figured if I wasn't going to get to sleep I'd at least get some spirit work done. So I redid the protective wards I had on my home and did a deep cleansing of the space. After that I sent out a few prayers. My business managed, I finally fell asleep for a very few precious hours.
The next day came and after a slow start I began knocking off tasks on my todo list that had been on it for months. I was amazed at all I had gotten done. That afternoon I was pulled to walk out in the gloom. It was a persistent call even though it was very cold and there was some snow and ice out on the ground. I couldn't explain it. I knew I needed to be outside in the elements. So I bundled up to trek into the gray fading light of the afternoon. I sang power songs to the weather spirits thanking them, and then I sang my soul song. I walked for almost an hour, and then came in and had a nice hot supper. That night I slept a full sleep cycle. The dreaded restlessness had been broken. I continued to accomplish more goals the following day and walked outside again (on an even colder day). I have continued to sleep more normally since that day.
I have spoken with many who've had sleep disturbances in the past few weeks. Many are convinced that there is some energetic shift going on in the world which is keeping us wired. This may be true, however when I began moving deeper into some of my spirit work, not allowing the darkness and gloom to stop me, I found sweet restfulness. Perhaps when we can't sleep it is sometimes a call from spirit. Right now the dark is calling me to work with and through it. Now in our highly dualistic culture darkness is often seen as evil, but darkness is necessary. The womb is dark. Many of us make love in the dark hours. I wouldn't call that evil, maybe a bit kinky but hardly evil. Sometimes we have to work in the dark. Sometimes we need the time away from the waking minds of others to feel into the mysteries that lie unseen beneath the surface of the world. Sometimes we just need some damn peace and quiet to get things done.
So how about you? Is your sleep untroubled? Do you lie awake in the depths of night? What would happen if you asked what spirit was calling you to do in that restless moment? What needful deeds could you deliver to your life and the world under the cover of night's shade? The next time you lie awake unable to fall asleep try getting up and seeing what you can do that has needed doing for a while. See if that doesn't then send you off into blissful slumber.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
I hope you've had an enjoyable week so far. Mine has been eventful. Most notable has been the trouble I had sleeping the first half of it. A quick check on Facebook showed that many other people were experiencing interruptions in their sleep patterns as well.
I love to sleep. I love the peace that accompanies settling down and waking up before I need to, drifting in out of a dream until it is time to rise. A night's sleep with good dreams (good being a relative term as some of my most useful dreams are nightmares) can completely change my outlook on a situation. When sleep refuses to come despite exhaustion it can be very frustrating. Insomnia is a major problem in modern society. Many of us simply can't shut our brain off.
Now I have a few tricks up my sleeve for sleep. I have brainwave entrainment, chi kung, or yoga to help mellow me out. This time though none of that was working. Of course the more you try to force yourself to sleep the less likely it is to happen. One night I laid in bed until nearly 6 in the morning getting nowhere close to sleep. This was night 3 or 4 of minimal to no sleep. Finally I got up and lit the candles on my altar. I figured if I wasn't going to get to sleep I'd at least get some spirit work done. So I redid the protective wards I had on my home and did a deep cleansing of the space. After that I sent out a few prayers. My business managed, I finally fell asleep for a very few precious hours.
The next day came and after a slow start I began knocking off tasks on my todo list that had been on it for months. I was amazed at all I had gotten done. That afternoon I was pulled to walk out in the gloom. It was a persistent call even though it was very cold and there was some snow and ice out on the ground. I couldn't explain it. I knew I needed to be outside in the elements. So I bundled up to trek into the gray fading light of the afternoon. I sang power songs to the weather spirits thanking them, and then I sang my soul song. I walked for almost an hour, and then came in and had a nice hot supper. That night I slept a full sleep cycle. The dreaded restlessness had been broken. I continued to accomplish more goals the following day and walked outside again (on an even colder day). I have continued to sleep more normally since that day.
I have spoken with many who've had sleep disturbances in the past few weeks. Many are convinced that there is some energetic shift going on in the world which is keeping us wired. This may be true, however when I began moving deeper into some of my spirit work, not allowing the darkness and gloom to stop me, I found sweet restfulness. Perhaps when we can't sleep it is sometimes a call from spirit. Right now the dark is calling me to work with and through it. Now in our highly dualistic culture darkness is often seen as evil, but darkness is necessary. The womb is dark. Many of us make love in the dark hours. I wouldn't call that evil, maybe a bit kinky but hardly evil. Sometimes we have to work in the dark. Sometimes we need the time away from the waking minds of others to feel into the mysteries that lie unseen beneath the surface of the world. Sometimes we just need some damn peace and quiet to get things done.
So how about you? Is your sleep untroubled? Do you lie awake in the depths of night? What would happen if you asked what spirit was calling you to do in that restless moment? What needful deeds could you deliver to your life and the world under the cover of night's shade? The next time you lie awake unable to fall asleep try getting up and seeing what you can do that has needed doing for a while. See if that doesn't then send you off into blissful slumber.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
Sunday, February 7, 2016
Mind the Gap
Greetings all,
Welcome back to another blogpost hopefully this one will be penned without the haste of the last one. It seemed like last month I was trying to pack in as much hustle as I could bustle. Blogs are something I don't like to leave until the last moment, but I also don't want to rush them. Generally I like to have an idea simmer and ferment for a day or two. That used to be easier to manage because I didn't have as much going on which brings me to this week's topic, emptiness.
I'm not going to go all Eastern philosophical on you (well I might stray east of south a bit). I've been looking at the negative spaces in my life and by negative space I mean the place without action going on. The place where something is missing. In the dead of winter, devoid of warmth, I start looking at the areas of my life that aren't measuring up. I've been putting a heavy spin on them of late, but I think I've been wrong about them.
I remember being bored as a child quite a lot. I was the youngest and the only boy, and there was no one in my neighborhood to play with. I had to make my own amusements. This lead to increased imaginativeness, creativity, and okay I admit it, the occasional mischief. As I got older it lead to a voracious appetite for reading, doodling, and exploring my inner mind. As grateful as I am for high speed internet access and cell phones now, I am even more grateful that I didn't have them growing up. It gave me plenty of empty time and space to practice meditations, explore the woods, and read for people.
That emptiness which I equated to loneliness and spurned is actually responsible for almost all the good things in my life right now. However these days it is far too easy to fill any space in our time with texting, Facebook, and yes the Siren song of Youtube. I mean you can learn anything on Youtube and there is so much content you will never run out of interesting things to see. I'm not saying any of those things are bad, on the contrary they are immensely useful. What is not the best is instantly going to our devices to fill our time so that we aren't present in those empty moments. When I worked retail more, I always took a sketchbook and notepad with me, and often some reading material in case we were slow. Many of my coolest creations are a result of a slow night and doodling to pass the time. (I mean you can only clean a store so much).
The void is the womb of creation. In its vast emptiness, it contains everything. Our current model of society seems to run in panic away from the void, away from the source of all our best innovations. We are so used to amusement on demand that we forget how to create from that emptiness. In emptiness we grasp for the fires of creativity within ourselves and we reach out to our fellow beings.
So how does this apply to you? Are you aware of the empty spaces in your life? Is there a gap in some area of your life that you are rushing to fill? What happens if you dwell in that space instead of scurrying away from it instantly? Have you overfilled your life to the point there is no empty space? Are you children able to entertain themselves, or do they require manufactured amusements? Do you leave space for others to enter into your story? If not perhaps it is time to do some early spring cleaning and clean out your mental schedule. If you have a space in your life that feels sorely lacking don't freak out, just mind the gap.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
Welcome back to another blogpost hopefully this one will be penned without the haste of the last one. It seemed like last month I was trying to pack in as much hustle as I could bustle. Blogs are something I don't like to leave until the last moment, but I also don't want to rush them. Generally I like to have an idea simmer and ferment for a day or two. That used to be easier to manage because I didn't have as much going on which brings me to this week's topic, emptiness.
I'm not going to go all Eastern philosophical on you (well I might stray east of south a bit). I've been looking at the negative spaces in my life and by negative space I mean the place without action going on. The place where something is missing. In the dead of winter, devoid of warmth, I start looking at the areas of my life that aren't measuring up. I've been putting a heavy spin on them of late, but I think I've been wrong about them.
I remember being bored as a child quite a lot. I was the youngest and the only boy, and there was no one in my neighborhood to play with. I had to make my own amusements. This lead to increased imaginativeness, creativity, and okay I admit it, the occasional mischief. As I got older it lead to a voracious appetite for reading, doodling, and exploring my inner mind. As grateful as I am for high speed internet access and cell phones now, I am even more grateful that I didn't have them growing up. It gave me plenty of empty time and space to practice meditations, explore the woods, and read for people.
That emptiness which I equated to loneliness and spurned is actually responsible for almost all the good things in my life right now. However these days it is far too easy to fill any space in our time with texting, Facebook, and yes the Siren song of Youtube. I mean you can learn anything on Youtube and there is so much content you will never run out of interesting things to see. I'm not saying any of those things are bad, on the contrary they are immensely useful. What is not the best is instantly going to our devices to fill our time so that we aren't present in those empty moments. When I worked retail more, I always took a sketchbook and notepad with me, and often some reading material in case we were slow. Many of my coolest creations are a result of a slow night and doodling to pass the time. (I mean you can only clean a store so much).
The void is the womb of creation. In its vast emptiness, it contains everything. Our current model of society seems to run in panic away from the void, away from the source of all our best innovations. We are so used to amusement on demand that we forget how to create from that emptiness. In emptiness we grasp for the fires of creativity within ourselves and we reach out to our fellow beings.
So how does this apply to you? Are you aware of the empty spaces in your life? Is there a gap in some area of your life that you are rushing to fill? What happens if you dwell in that space instead of scurrying away from it instantly? Have you overfilled your life to the point there is no empty space? Are you children able to entertain themselves, or do they require manufactured amusements? Do you leave space for others to enter into your story? If not perhaps it is time to do some early spring cleaning and clean out your mental schedule. If you have a space in your life that feels sorely lacking don't freak out, just mind the gap.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
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