A Tune for the Seer

Greetings all,

I do apologize about the last minute of this post, I fell asleep earlier.  Still the sun has not risen on the new week so I am in time still.  To quote the Doctor, "Time is not the boss of me." I've only had the faintest glimmer of a blog topic, my authoring has been stretched thin of late preparing for public talks and penning my first book.      

I was thinking back on the past year.  I had a strange thing occur around midsummer.  I began to whistle a tune that I couldn't place.  All of the sudden it was their in my mind a presence constant and rather maddening as I couldn't recall where I had heard the tune.  A colleague of mine finally told me it was Twisted Nerve from Kill Bill.  This is a movie I had only seen once before and it had been quite a few years back.  It has a rather ominous sound to it even more so when paired with the scene in which it appears.

I thought that once I knew its origin the tune would fade from my mind.  It didn't, in fact the urge to whistle it only grew and grew.  It was like an omen  I didn't piece together exactly what for until months later.  I discovered someone had not only been cheating me on a business deal, but their business had gone bust it started roughly around the middle of the summer.  About the same time I got that urge to whistle that murderous melody.  That is the trouble with being tuned in, sometimes you don't always know that you are or exactly what you are tuned into.  My subconscious apparently knew and selected the appropriate emotional thematic tune.  (Not literally of course, as I'm not an assassin).

People assume that I know what I know.  It is true that I do have an extended sense range.  I am blessed/cursed in that whenever someone talks about me like a boomerang it gets back to me.  This is both useful and troubling.  My omens can start rather vague, but eventually they come into focus.  In a way I'm grateful it's less obtrusive that way.  It is also fun to see how events connect in hindsight.  I'm sure the coincidence police will say that they're not connected that it was a fluke, but my focus was directed at the perfect time to salvage what I could from the situation.  After the mischief was handled I lost all urge to whistle Twisted Nerve and moved on to more happy harmonies.

So how about you?  Have you ever noticed a weird tick suddenly appear out of nowhere only to later find out that something had been going on behind the scenes.  Did your subconscious clue you in to a "meanwhile back at the ranch" kind of moment?  After a while of mysterious whistling compulsion I knew there was something behind it I just wasn't sure what.   By inquiring I opened avenues for answers.  Our behavior particularly when it comes from subconscious prompting is a great tool for garnering more information.  If you start to ask yourself why you are doing something you start on a road of self discovery.  Ponder that for a week while I leave you with some parting music.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

A World Apart

Greetings all,

For those of you in the northern hemisphere happy spring!  This week it seemed as if everything was happening at once.  I learned later that on top of a super new moon on the equinox and solar eclipse we also had big solar flares during the week.  Some people may not be aware of it but solar storm activity has quite a large effect on us, and not just on our satellites.  The electromagnetic field of the earth is mirrored in the electromagnetic field of the heart.  Solar storms tend to coincide with increased reporting of heart attacks.   For more sensitive individuals they can cause fatigue, mood swings, and even strange or disturbing dreams.  It does help to explain why everything seemed to pile on this week. I had a game night, hosted my first meditation group, and yesterday had a day of 3 ceremonies.

Some of you may may not be aware that I do ceremony every Friday.  I've done so for almost 2 years now.  Each week I gather around my mesa and rattle my thanks to the Creator, Mother Earth, Grandmother Moon and various other spirits and guides.  I then send out a special prayer blessing to the people on my list.  This has built over time and become something that people on the prayer list look forward to seeing in their inbox.  I also do quarterly drumming ceremonies on the solstices and equinoxes.  Yesterday was a double whammy in that it was Friday so the rattling prayer ceremony happened and as it was also the equinox the drum ceremony was performed as well.

I like to be outside to drum for the spring equinox if at all possible.  This always leaves me in a quandary as to where to go to drum.  I really can't do it in my backyard.  The neighbors are understanding, but I don't feel like stopping to explain myself all the time.  While I try not to worry what people think I also try to be respectful of them, particularly when we live in close quarters.  Generally I settle on a park for drumming.  This is alright, but I always worry that someone will intrude on the space I set  up or be disrespectful, or that the police will come by and interrupt because of the noise.  (Try explaining to the officer how you are honoring a spiritual obligation).  None of these things has ever happened, but I do think about them.  So I sent some of my guides ahead of me to find me a proper space in the park.

I arrived and it was cool and wet.  It wasn't raining and while technically in the 50s it felt much cooler than that.  I found the covered picnic pavilion empty, and the park wasn't very busy apart from a few joggers and dog walkers.  I set about rattling the space to clear out any energies not in line with sacred work.  I called to the spirit of the land asking for their blessing to do ceremony.  I began drumming the 4 directions starting in the east as it the door of spring and continued around the  medicine wheel.  As I set my mesa out and began to concentrate on drumming and welcoming the spring I noticed that none of the people were paying any notice of me, not even the dogs were glancing my way.  In fact the dogs didn't even acknowledge hearing the drum nor did the people.  This continued and then I spotted a man walking directly toward the picnic tables.  It looked like he was heading right for me.  He got to the edge of the pavilion and he veered without noticing me or reacting in any way and headed to the other side of the covered shelter where there were some restrooms.  I couldn't understand how it was that no one even lifted their head as they walked by.  Then I saw it.  There was just the slightest hint of mist around the pavilion.  It was a thin veil almost imperceptible to the eyes, and I wondered had I or my guides parted the veil putting me into the domain known as Faery.

I know some of you may balk at the notion, but over the years I have repeatedly had the experience of being in plain sight but clearly invisible.  I've also been in a space where the flow of time changes either slowing down or speeding up.  I've seen in ritual spaces many things that perhaps you could explain if you really tried, but put all together they seem to defy the rational mind.  I have seen the mist in the trees when no one else noticed it.  I've also had the experience of not wanting to be found and to those seeking me out it seems as if I have dropped off the face of the earth, as if I am dwelling in a world apart.  This is a natural gift, but also one I have honed with practice.  The upside is if I want to be left alone odds are I will be.  The downside is that I have relied too much on this talent and can be a bit aloof and for business reasons you need to stand out and be easy to find.  Still it was one of those wow moments.

Magic for me is often subtle happening in the between moments.  If you blink you might miss it.  The equinox is a whole day of between moments.  At these times the natural world is on the cusp and all the energies of life are realigning.  This is one of the reasons why I do ceremonies on these days.  By honoring the wheel of the seasons I join with them and share in their power.  It is easy to get lost and confused in the delusion of the mainstream.  We are told magic isn't real or only fools believe in it.  I am a fool then because I believe and I will pass through the door of belief into true knowing.

So how about you  did you mark the liminal time of the equinox?  Do you align yourself with nature?  Have you ever slipped out of the world into your own slice of Faery?  While we must live in the here and now it is at times good to slip into the between to walk the secret corridors between the worlds.  Try finding that space where you are within the waking world but also apart and beside it simultaneously.  What wonders do you see, hear, or feel?  Let me know and enjoy the turning of the seasons.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Softening up

Greetings all,

This will be a short post this week.  I'm getting ready to head out the door and get on the road.  I'm off to Columbus to work at the Gift of Light Expo.  I get out of town a few times a year to do these shows and it is always a relief to get away for a few days.  It is also exhausting but in a good way.

As I was talking to a few friends this week dealing with both physical and emotional wounds I was struck by the similarity of them.  I've also been working through a home study course from the Monroe Institute.  I'm looking at beliefs, and reaction patterns.  One of the things I read from my course in the past week was about ego.  Their approach is to ask the ego to soften.  Now I've heard many people talk about destroying the ego or killing it.  I've talked before about how that seems just a little violent and like the spiritual equivalent of cutting yourself.  

The lightbulb went off for me when hearing about someone's shoulder and the possibility of scar tissue how much that resembled the wounded ego.  Our ego is our interface with the world particularly with other people.  When our feelings are hurt it is like a wound, now we can either heal it by opening more and expunging it or we can (and this is the more common response) stiffen up and become rigid.  When the ego is not healed properly, not honored it becomes like scar tissue rigid and inflexible.  This limits us in our ability to adapt and respond accordingly.  Instead we react not necessarily to what is going on around us, but to what happened to us in the past.  A healthy ego is engaged in the present.

There are certainly areas where I am rigid and react rather than respond.  So now I am looking into those areas and seeing I am trying to avoid something that has already happened.  I am still living from that space of feeling betrayed, disrespected, and feeling deceived.  This does not engender positive responses from the world as I struggle to manifest something new.  I am lucky that in my work I have to get my ego to step aside while spirit does the heavy lifting.  So as I do my work from now on whenever my ego steps aside I shall thank it  for being strong enough to step back.  In this way I hope to diffuse the struggle a little bit.  Perhaps by feeling gratitude for it I can help myself to soften just a bit and start dismantling the scar tissue.  We talk about loving the self all the time so why do we leave the ego out of the picture?  That would be like a mother saying, "Oh I love all my children except for Clarence, he's just useless."

So how about you?  Are you still reacting to the past in the present?  Do you find there are areas of rigidity in your personality?  Do you break instead of bending?  Well if you do perhaps your ego has some scar tissue too.  What if instead of trying to sneak up on the ego and strangle it you embraced it?  What if you gave it the love that others denied it?  Maybe as we soften we'll become more resilient, more forgiving, and hopefully more joyful.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Do I Frighten You

Greetings all,

Another week another post that is the way of this.  This week has been tough.  With the snow and cold I am realizing I need to buff up a bit if I want to be able to handle winter.  Emotionally I have also been sort of down.  I've been taking side trips into the blues and the blahs.  It happens usually more in February (and it did then too).  I get this way sometimes, impatient for what I've been working hard on but that has yet to fully manifest.

I've realized I've been hooking into other people's perception of me, and it hasn't been from my admirers either.  For some odd reason I've been resonating with people who only see what is lacking in my character.  It's a big trap you see worrying about what people think of you.  Once you latch onto that you hook into their paradigm.  From what I've noticed most people don't have the most enjoyable paradigm.  There are too many rules, limitations, and do not enter signs.

In a nod to authenticity the past few months I've taken off the kid gloves.  I've lowered my mask now and then.  For some reason people find what lies beneath frightening.  I really don't think I'm all that scary.  Okay occasionally the fires of fury come out, but there are always warning signs.  There is plenty of time to get the women and children to safety.  Those that know me well understand that if I am directing my ire at someone they've worked at it, for a while.

Being enmeshed in other people's view of you causes problems not just for you but for them.  There have in the past been people who didn't understand the nature of my work.  They feared it and thus me.  Now they never came out and said it, but their reactions spoke volumes.  What they ended up doing though was behaving in a way that brought about just what they had feared.  I'm pretty laid back but you can only treat me poorly for so long before I respond in a way that most would deem unpleasant.  So fears become "justified", a self fulfilled prophecy caused by not minding our own business and projecting our worries and concerns onto another.

I'm quite sure we've all been on both sides of this equation.  In our culture right now we have the most managed facades ever.  Between all the social media platforms, peer groups, and family we are self monitoring continuously for how our brand is trending or not with the general populace.  In the words of Admiral Ackbar, "IT'S A TRAP!" This way is the way of madness, of abandoned dreams, and most importantly abandoned pieces of ourselves.  It is hard to not care what others are thinking about ourselves, but it is a skill we all must learn if we are to pursue our passions and be happy.

So what about you?  Are you paralyzed by what the peanut gallery is saying about you?  Do you still live in the high school mentality of the in crowd?  Are you constantly judging yourself by what you perceive to be the measuring stick of others?  Perhaps you are projecting onto others your fears, shoulds, and should nots.  It is the other side of the same coin.  In either case you are not free either in your perception or in your choices.  So why not try and detach and do things because it comes from within yourself.  Give yourself a privacy screen to keep out the unsought opinions.  Unplug from the memes of the crowd and just get to know which way you're going and why.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

More Power

Greetings all,

I hope your week has gone well.  I've been dancing to and fro between various projects.  I got a lot of writing done this week and made some headway with some art projects as well.  There has been some lingering mopping up due to weather events causing delays.  For now that seems to be sorted.

Sometime during the middle of the week I began pondering some basic questions about life.  I believe I was in the middle of my swim where ideas often pop in as I make my way down the lanes.  I've been  up and down a lot emotionally lately as I work through a home study course on manifestation.  I find it both challenging and soothing alternately.  Questions like what would success look like?  As various news reports filtered in on world events I wondered where the pattern in me was that was feeding the larger pattern.  I started thinking about how the world has changed in the past century and particularly the role of men and women.  What is a good man these days?  It used to be judged on physicality, or on earning potential alone.  Now those metrics often cause more harm than good.  They turn relationships into power plays and work situations into practiced dominance.  So right now we have a lot of definition on how to be a man badly, but we are much more fuzzy on what constitutes a good man.

I would like to point out that I realize women's roles have changed dramatically as well, but as I am a man I thought I would stick to what I know and let some female counterpart take up the other half of this quandary.  (Hear that ladies this is a free idea for a blog topic oh fraptuous day)!  While I understand a large portion of this is due to the feminist movement which has pushed society to adapt and reevaluate how it sees gender roles, some of the changes in the culture of men have to do with changing technology and economic structures.  So the world is shifting but the question remains now what?

So generally men have been judged by how powerful they are perceived to be.  Traditionally this has been determined by how much he can bend others to his will either by persuasion or by force.  So we defined power as power over others.  This creates numerous problems, because it creates a built in need for conflict to express and claim power.  It makes us all compete and creates bitterness.  Some competition is good, but not when it eclipses cooperation.  One of the reasons we have survived as a species so long is our ability to collaborate and accomplish great feats which individually would be impossible.  In the past competition was mostly between groups and the people within a group would work together to overcome another group.  Now we compete with our peers, our neighbors, our colleagues, and sometimes even our family.  We have Facebook flame wars, cyber bullying, and suicide bombers.  If you think those are unrelated look deeper.  We have defined power in such a narrow fashion that it requires conflict to be perceived as powerful.  So if there isn't a source of conflict we will create one.  Trust me I'm as guilty of this as anyone.  Sometimes conflict is necessary, but lately people seem to relish it as their chance to prove something.  What they are generally trying to prove is that they matter.

When something needs to change it always begins with asking a question.  In this case my feelings were pointing me towards more conflict.  I didn't want any more, but I also wanted to feel effective in my own life.  So my question at first was, "What does it mean to be a good man?"  That evolved into, "What does it take be a good person?"  Then I wondered what other ways there were to feel powerful and effective.  Is there a way to experience power that is not dependent on conflict with another?  If so what is it, and how do I cultivate it? I pose these questions not to anyone in particular but as an open ended question to the universe to see what shows up.

How about  you?  How do you gauge your effectiveness?  Does it depend on conflict?  Are you stuck in a mental framework where you are trying to satisfy an outdated notion of success or power?  How much does your gender play into this?  Do you feel trapped by society's notions of what a good man or good woman is? Do you care?  Let me know what you think in the comments, and if you have any other open ended questions to pose for synchronicity's whim put them down there as well.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle