Tempering the Temper

Greetings all,

Another week another post.  Ah, but what a week it has been full of emotional highs and lows.  Speaking of emotions….

I have a temper.  Don't laugh its true.  Many people are shocked to find out this fact.  The Mooneagle does get angry.  Not that this happens a lot (barring traffic jams), but it does happen.  I'm one of those people that I describe as having a long fuse.  Imagine a long trail of gunpowder, you can light it and it may take a while but eventually there's going to be a very big bang.  Sometimes the longer the fuse the bigger the bang.

Anger is an emotion that often gets demonized.  It can be destructive and dangerous.  However it can also act like rocket fuel blasting us off into new heights.  We've all had those moments when we're fed up with a situation or relationship and we go off.  We either leave the situation or blow it up.  I've often said I don't burn bridges,  I napalm them.  Usually I wait till someone is in the middle of a crossing.  While very dramatic and emotionally exhausting this has liberated me from situations (and people) that might have drawn me back into an even more exhausting cycle of suffering.

So anger is useful.  It can be at any rate.  The problem I often have is that I go directly from peace time picnics to all out war.  This is just a tad bit less useful.  Anger inspires quick action, but rarely clear thinking.  Remember those bridges?  While I might have been dancing round the flames in celebration there are so many times where I remembered something important that I left on the other side of that now burning chasm.  I've squandered opportunities and had to start from scratch because I was just to eager to strike that match and stoke the fire.

The espresso shot of adrenalin that anger brings can be very habit forming, in fact recent studies suggest that catharsis therapy where you take your aggression out on a pillow or doll can actually make you more prone to outbursts of anger.  What happens is that you are creating and reinforcing those aggressive patterns in your neural pathways.  The more you do something the deeper the pattern is wired into you.  Of course bottling up your anger isn't such a hot idea either, or rather it is too hot.  (Remember that bridge before it was charcoal?)

So what to do?  If we fire up the flame throwers we just make ourselves more prone to anger, but if we suppress it we risk a meltdown.  This seems to be one of those smelly creeks that have boats with only a single paddle.  In metal working there is a process called tempering where a piece of metal is  cooled quickly, and then carefully reheated below a critical point.  This makes the metal more durable and less likely to shatter and break.  To simply not be angry is not an option we risk being inauthentic, and also being the world's door mat.  I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that if you don't stand up for yourself at times people will not treat you very well.  You also don't want to go around blasting everyone with vitriol because you're not getting your way.

One of the things that helps me is to ask questions.  Why am I angry?  Now my initial response is usually well person X did this to me, but you have to dig deeper.  Maybe someone did something that hurt my feelings.  Why are they hurt?  What issue did their actions or words bring to the surface?  What in me needs to be healed?  What do I need to address within me?  Don't think this means that other people get a hall pass though on poor behavior, because along with those questions I'll ask myself what actions I need to take to address whatever triggered the flare up.  Sometimes the answer is do nothing, ignore it, or let it go.  Other times the answer is confront and tell person X that what they're doing is unacceptable, and that if it continues other actions will follow.

So does any of this apply to you?  Do you hold your anger in until you erupt and drown Pompeii in fiery ash and ruin?  Do you regularly spit fire at friend and foe alike?  Do you temper your responses?  Why not look at your anger with the same lens you see any emotion with.  It has a job to do showing you where change is needed in your life.  If you loved what it did for you without being attached to the feeling would that change your outlook on anger?  What if you used the fire of anger to cauterize your inner wounds rather than inflicting more wounds?  Most importantly give yourself a little slack we all lose our tempers at some point, no reason to lose your cool over losing your cool.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Handling the Hierarchy

Greetings all,

This week was a blend of wonderful and maddening in a way I really can't quite put into words.  In fact some of this week will pop up in future blog topics.  Sometimes when events are intense I don't always write about them immediately, I allow them to marinate for a bit.  After I have some perspective on the flavor  then I can pull them apart and analyze them.  Perspective really is what this blog is all about.

So I will focus on something I have encountered in multiple engagements in the past, hierarchy.  The power structure and all its incarnations suffuses our lives.  It can be so confining particularly if you are a bit of an oddball like myself.  There simply isn't a slot shaped for me to fit into.  This not fitting in however is what led me to seek something beyond myself, to seek magic and the path of spirit.  In this space of infinite possibility and wonder I thought I had escaped the hierarchical power struggle that rages on in our world.  Well you know naivety is as good a teacher as any, if not necessarily a gentle one.

Having been mostly self taught for the first half of my magical meanderings I managed to steer clear of most of the politics (yes there are magical politics and if you think normal politics is ugly you have no idea).  I have been involved in two different magical groups in the past both of which ended in quite a sour state.  I have had several teachers of various metaphysical subjects, as well as those who thought I needed them as a teacher.  I am very picky about teachers and I have fired several.  The firing has always amounted to someone wanting to control me and decide for me what my energy could be allowed to do.   I don't want to harp on teachers, good teachers are invaluable they set you free to fully embody the amazing spirit that you are.  They sit with you not above you.

In the metaphysical world so many people are scrambling for some sort of title.  I myself have collected a few which to me sound utterly ridiculous when I start listing them.  My goal has been for the past several years to be my own Authority.  I don't want to ask permission to follow what my spirit and guides tell me.  The teachers I have always urge me as well as others to look to their own guidance.  We sit in a circle, every point in the circle is necessary for it to exist.  The symbolism of the circle is everything a hierarchy isn't.  All are one, all are respected and equally important.  If you think someone in the circle is not as valid then you can be sure it is your ego at work and not your spirit.  Ego loves hierarchy especially when it can sit on top.

So how does this apply to you?  Well are you getting lost in the chinks of the hierarchical machine?   Are you sizing up everyone and ranking them?  Are you giving your own authority away to someone with a title?  Are you playing king of the mountain with your life?  What if you assessed integrity rather than authority?  Now I don't want you to think there isn't room for experts in life, because there is, but how many of the people ruling your life are actual experts?  Try it out see people arranged in a circle instead of a pyramid.  How does that change your responses?

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

The Balance

Greetings all,

Every week I am always surprised that I come up with a topic to write about.  The commitment of writing always has me looking for ways to expand my thoughts.  Expansion seems to be on the menu lately as well.

In the past week I have made arrangements to start teaching at a new facility, I have had one speaking event while planning at least two others, I became a local chapter leader for the Monroe Institute, I've started making magical oil blends, and my healing practice is also picking up.  So many things that have been just under the surface are poking their heads up out from the deeps.   It feels overwhelming to see so many opportunities blossom at once.  It is so strange to see it all shifting even though that is at the heart of what I do.

Even with the mystical nature of my work it can be very easy to get bogged down in the business of it: scheduling, lesson plans, writing up talks, and website maintenance.  I'm having to remember to leave unstructured time to be and to get out of the house.  (Time on social media does not count as unstructured).  When you work for yourself there is always so much to do, and making sure you get out and just have fun is imperative.  What I do requires a light heart and the right attitude so keeping a balance between getting things done and taking in life can be a challenge.

Fall is a special time of color and sensing the deep currents of the earth.  The power of the dark is growing, and that has its own allure.  There is mystery to be found in the dark.  The stars are clearer in the crisp night air.  The light has changed its color, becoming thin like sheer curtains in the window.  Fall is also the time that I often start to feel melancholy.  With the fading light of summer I feel the loss of the green, unless I go out and fill myself with the colors of fall and the shapes of the revealed limbs of trees I can sink into a personal kind of darkness.  I used to hate fall for this reason.  As beautiful as it can be I resented the coming frosts and chilling winds that would bring winter.  That changed years ago after recovering from a near fatal illness.  I had been sick for most of the summer, I really started my true recovery in October.  I was grateful for everything and I let myself experience the season in that vibration.  I still mourn the passing of the summer each year, but it is balanced by all the loves I discovered in fall.  I had my life given back to me in the autumn and I have never forgotten that.

So why does this matter to you?  Well are you too wrapped up in the workings of the season and forgetting to go out and enjoy the beauty of it?  Are you denying your sadness of the loss of the light so much that you are failing to connect to the deeper currents running in your life? Perhaps you are denying the fall its splendor as you schedule yourself every which way till January.  I am happy to have things to fill the calendar, but does it need to be filled?  What if you went for a walk in a wood to see the spectrum of the changing leaves?  What if you sang the trees a lullaby?  Try it out, balance the worlds you live in between the tasks of the day and the experience of fall's transformation.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Crucible

Greetings everyone,

This week has been something.  What exactly it is I'm not sure yet.  There was certainly quite a lot of stress and challenges.  The crazy makers were in rare form as well.  However it ultimately may be a blessing.  I keep coming back to a deeper understanding of how much I depend on others.  This is not a judgment just an awareness.  It is this interweaving of connections, needs, and exchanges,  that fuel our world at large and in our private lives with friends and family.

It's been a week since I offered my Transmuting Shame download.  I had been told by spirit that this one would have an enormous impact.  Life would change in a way it hadn't before.  I immediately felt my heart open wider than it had been in many years.  The challenge has been to keep it open.  My body  in an attempt to follow suit with the energetic template also shifted.  I had an aching in my chest, arms and shoulders as my anatomy shifted around.  Muscles that have long held tension around my physical heart began to let go sparking protest to all the connecting tissues.

This is happening at the same time as major changes in my work life are taking place, and corresponding to family events.  This is not what you would think of as the ideal time.  I found myself getting short with others, feeling angry and pessimistic.  I wanted space to process, and I got the opposite.  After the dust from my upset had settled though I came to realize how much I had to be grateful for.  (No doubt helped by a day out at my favorite art fair and a little retail therapy).  In the space of a day I opened to the beauty around me.  I felt like I was filling my soul with it.  My life was the crucible the place of purifying fire where the substance of value is distilled from the raw grit.  All the stresses or rather my thoughts about them were the materials poured into the crucible that is my being.  In the Crowley Thoth tarot deck the 14th card of the major arcana is called Art.  In other decks it is referred to as Temperance, but in this deck it refers to the art of alchemy.  The transmutation and ultimate transformation of the base materials of life into the gold of the soul.  Often times when this card appears it can mean that all the materials we need for the solution are already present, it is up to us to use them in an inventive way, hence the art of alchemy.

So how does this apply to you?  What are you taking for granted?  Can the challenges you are facing open you to a deeper space of gratitude and love?  Were you hoping for a time of peace to get yourself together only to find a whirlwind of chaos?  What if the whirlwind is the mix you need to find the gold hidden within you?  What if all the difficulties are the materials and your life is the crucible to forge you into something more than the sum of your parts? Now I'm not suggesting you don't get upset and feel bad about the things that trouble you, but once you have felt them perhaps seeing them as ingredients might help to free you from fate.  We say we want to transmute, transcend, ascend, or embody, but that is a process not a hall pass from deep work.  Take inventory of your life, list the ingredients, and then make something magical with them.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle