Musings

Musings

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Retreading

Greetings all,

Well now we're most of the way through the holidays.  Anyone out of breath yet?  This month has been not just a whirlwind but a hurricane of activity.  I'm late again with all the things going on here, but I remain committed to keeping up with my blog, YouTube channel, and ceremonies.

In these past few weeks it seems as though I have been retreading old tracks.  Old friends have reappeared, missed opportunities have gotten a second chance.  Emotional patterns have resurfaced either to be cleansed or examined for their purpose.  I found myself on the road the day after Christmas quite unexpectedly.  It wasn't a certainty until a day or so before after the weather forecast turned out clear.  I'm not one to travel widely in winter, but sometimes you have to take the journey when the paths are singing.

I drove to Gatlinburg a place I haven't been for seven years.  I hadn't been in Tennessee at all since 2007.  Although I used to go there quite frequently.  Family ties brought me back again and again, but now most of my family that lived there has passed onto the next life or they have moved.  I drove down once familiar roads seeing the rock formations I'd look for on each drive through the mountains.  I had an odd mix of familiarity and disorientation.  Roads do change, detours appear.  So what summoned me to the Smoky Mountains?  A contact I had made years back when I was a work-study student at a craft school (lower case c crafts means arts as opposed to Crafts which are only taught at Hogwarts).  I had made friends with the woman who ran the book store/ supply store at the school.  I found out that I made quite an impression.  That is how I came to have work in a gallery down in Gatlinburg.

I am often surprised at how people remember me.  I don't generally know the impact I have upon people.  I think the first time I ever realized people were even paying attention was about two years ago when I went to a seminar.  Someone came up to me and said, "You're Thomas Mooneagle,  I love Thomas Mooneagle!"  They knew me from my YouTube channel, it was the first and only time that has happened in public.  It was and continues to be strange as people connect with me via Facebook or email to hear how I have affected them.  It's not something I am always comfortable with, and I don't think that I am alone in that.  While it is good to contemplate our choices and how they affect ourselves and others, we simply cannot fathom the impact of small everyday actions.  At least we can't all the time, on occasion a general reflection on our overall actions is a good thing.  Just so long as we don't continually second guess our everything we do.

So this past connection drew me back to a place that had been quite meaningful to me.  As if that wasn't enough of a retreading of the sands of time, I had another contact from a past era.  This year I have expanded my social circle quite a bit (I pruned it too but you have to now and then), and it was through a random meeting that I found that someone new to me was friends with someone I used to chat with quite a bit, but had lost track of.  Well just this weekend we finally got a chance to sit down at a party and talk face to face.  You might say that was coincidence, but I have the third instance the one that proves the pattern.  For years I have had an internet/phone buddy I met on a forum in the long ago.  Never met in person, but we've talked for years.  They even helped me beta test a few things for my healing practice.  Well on my impromptu trip down to the mountains I finally had my chance to meet this friend.  He even put me up for the night so I didn't need to get a hotel (the Mooneagle always appreciates this as he finds hotels hard to sleep in).  Odd thing never having met and yet we just chatted on like we've done on the phone.  No awkwardness.

Now not all this recycling of the past has been hearts and rainbows.  I've noticed in myself old hurts and resentments rising to the surface.  I've found myself thinking down old dead end streets of self inflicted wounds.  I've wondered sheesh will this pattern never die?  How many times must I kill you?  It's like a Friday the 13th or Halloween movie you just can't get rid of the monster.  So what is all that about?

Our past lives in us and only us.  If you think it is shared ask a family member about a particular event from years back, one that was emotionally charged.  Everyone remembers it differently especially on matters of who started something, or what so and so said to your mother.  You get the picture.  Your past is yours and yours alone.  The lens in which we view it has a lot to do with whether it is a burden or a blessing.  Take a good memory, it can lend you strength or be a source of contentment in hard times.  It can also be a source of loss for something whose time is no longer.  Goodbye is a hard word with teeth and talons.  Yet it is part of the human experience.  It is central to the human experience, in every hello there is an eventual goodbye.  Still it can be a good farewell or a bad one.  Some of my most satisfying experiences have been wishing someone goodbye and showing them the door.  See I just retread a memory right there in front of you.  Were you paying attention?

So how about you?  What has arisen from the past?  Is it giving you an opportunity?  Is it wishing you goodbye?  Is it pointing out something that still lives in you that needs to be reborn or is it something that needs to die?  Who keeps popping up from the long ago?  How are you different in your relation to them?  Are you different?  Are you really, or are you just wearing different clothes?  Are you wearing clothes?  So much to contemplate before the year counts down and a brand shiny new one takes it place.  It is time to walk again the paths we know or think we know and discover anything precious we may have dropped along the way, and perhaps empty our pockets of that which we no longer need carry.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle


p.s.  The gallery where my work is being sold (officially made several sales hurrah!) is called Dragonfly Art Dimensions located in Gatlinburg, TN.  If you are in the Smokies definitely check them out.


Sunday, December 22, 2013

Solstice of Thunder

Greetings all,

I'm late with this entry, but I've been a very busy bee this past week.  I've been closing a deal and planning a trip.  I've been doing holiday baking, finishing up holiday gifts, and I led a gathering of weather shaman as well as led a drumming ceremony and despacho with one of my teachers.  It's no wonder I am so tired.

It all started with an idea.  With my Year of Transformation one of the benefits is the quarterly drumming ceremonies, basically on the solstices and the equinoxes I drum for power and blessings on behalf of the participants.  A year ago I attended an enormous drumming event.  There were over a hundred people drumming to celebrate the solstice and the end of the Mayan calendar.  Since then I have wanted to do my ceremonies in community, at least on the solstices.  I tend to drum alone on the equinoxes.   I was planning a drumming gathering and my teacher was too, so we decided to combine our events.

The first thing we did of course was to journey to make sure we could even hold the event.  December is a bit unpredictable.  We've already had one snow and ice storm and you never know when another one will blow through.  My first journey was to the weather spirits to ask if the roads would be clear and safe for travel.  We were told there would be a window for us to hold our event.  I was thinking we would have to worry about snow or ice, but we ended up with thunderstorms.  Forecasts were calling for 5-6 inches of rain and flash flooding.  There is a creek right near my teacher's house as well as a pond where the road dips down a steep hill.  I was worried that the road would be underwater.  I kept repeating to myself, "They told us we could hold our event I'll just trust that we can."  When I arrived the creek was still in its banks and the pond had not overflowed.  The weather had scared off a few of the participants which left the event packed instead of being insanely crowded.

I am lucky in that I have 3 shamanic teachers.  Two of them live locally.  Both of them were there last night.  I was given the reins for the ceremonies.  So here I was leading ceremony in front of the people who taught me and a group much larger than I had ever worked in front of before.  I was very nervous. (Yes I do get nervous when I work in front of a lot of people).  At least a third of the room were authorities in one or more metaphysical fields.  No pressure at all you know.

Which of course brings me to the solstice itself.  The winter solstice is the time when the world (well at least north of the tropics) is at its darkest.  Here we are forced to rely more on what is inside of us rather than the light around us.  We carry the light within us, and it is in the dark that we find out the quality of our light.  What is our power and how well do we apply it?  These are what the starkness of winter makes us look at.  The trees are bare dreaming their roots deep into the ground.  We too must go deep within ourselves and keep the spark of light alive within our hearts.  This time of the year we feast and gather with loved ones to share our light and warmth.  This is our response to the winter solstice.  In Faery the good folk feast, the winter court celebrates the height of the darkness, the summer court celebrates the return of the light.  We have to find our light and discover what it illuminates in us and in others.

I said this and more when I called in the space.  I donned my mask of leaves and shared my light and that of my drum with the circle as they shared their light.  It was beautiful, lifting the heart and filling it with joy.  We built our despacho and filled it with flowers, candies, wine, and our prayers.  When we went to burn it the wind quieted the rain stopped and a stillness came  upon the glade we were standing in.  For the length of time it took for the bundle to burn the rain held off, and the wind stayed calm.  The weather spirits had said we would have a window to perform our ceremonies and we made use of it.  We also thanked weather often and profusely.  The miraculous thing of course was the moment we all came back inside (for the food of course)  a huge flash of lightning and clap of thunder broke the skies.  A torrent of rain began and didn't stop for over an hour.  It started as soon as we finished.  Some might call it coincidence, but I call it as I see it and that was weather being generous at the same time demonstrating its power over the events of our lives.

Winter is a good time to reflect on the past year and to make plans for the new one ahead.  I felt called to gratitude for this ceremony.  I was grateful just to be able to hold it, that my teacher opened her home to host it, and that so many people joined in to make it so powerful.  This is the time to stoke our inner fire and focus our light.  What are you focusing on?

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Time skipped

Greetings everyone,

I am happy to report that I have completed all my holiday shopping.  It is time to breathe a big sigh of relief and try to get some much needed relaxation infused into my life right before holiday madness descends on us all.

I've been noticing a curious thing the past few months.  Time has not quite behaved itself.  It's been moving around, expanding, and contracting.  My first real experience of time dilation was the Day of the Dead when I made my midnight ride.  I moved through that drive in almost half the time it should have taken.  I've also had time contract on me particularly when I am working on making something.  That is nothing new time has always run away with me when I have done creative work.  My perception of it alters which is a right brained phenomena.

This past week or so though someone else has noticed the time around me going all wonky. (Wonky being the technical term for a very timey whimey occurrence).  I swim three times a week as part of my fitness routine.  It helps keep me sane and on somewhat of a normal schedule.  My sister swims with me twice a week.  Now we swim at different rates she is steadier pace and can go longer but I swim a bit faster.  Lately during my swim my sister asks me what lap I am on and when I answer she is dumbfounded.  Apparently even though she usually starts a few minutes before me I end up being almost even or ahead of her after a few minutes in the water.  Now I know what you're thinking, that I just swim faster.  However by observation I don't swim that much faster.  In fact I did a little experiment on the day that I swam alone.  I checked the clock right before I got in the water swam my 20 laps and then got out.  Maybe 16 minutes had passed, but it was noticeably under 20.  I kept count carefully still it was unreal that I had swam a kilometer in under 20 minutes.  Not that it can't be done.  It's just that I wasn't winded, I didn't have anything close to a grueling pace if anything I thought I had been quite leisurely.

So what exactly was going on?  The only thing I can lay my mind on is that while I swim I also mentally chant mantras.  It helps to focus me and keeps my mind from dwelling on worries or get caught up in a daydream.   I was definitely swimming my intended distance,  but I was doing it easily without rush and still finishing before others who are either swimming at similar speeds or are going even faster.  

So why do I mention this to you?  Have I finally run out of topics for the blog?  Well first I write about what catches my attention and this has.  It raises interesting questions about time.  Also this month I have revisited healing across time with a new and improved healing the past video.  I've also been working with ancestral healing for people.  So I have been playing in the sphere of time.  Perhaps it has had a side effect of making time a bit more subjective than it usually is.  It could also be that time is not as fixed as we think it is, maybe by playing in it so much my own perception filters of time have been broadened allowing more configurations of how time fits in my life.  Maybe time like all other things is not a thing at all but a mode of consciousness, a lens of understanding.  If we refocus the lens what we see is different.

In this season of holiday tasks, celebrations, and sometimes obligations it might be pertinent to contemplate our perception of time.  Maybe we should rethink time.  What if time listens? What if time could be your friend and ally?  What would happen if you arrived before you departed how might that affect your understanding of the world?  What if we could approach time in a sense of focused wonder?   Think on it this week as we head into a turning point on the scale of seasonal time.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle




Friday, December 6, 2013

The Long Game

Greetings all,

This first week of December has been exciting.  I have wonderful news in that a gallery has taken some of my artwork to sell.  I have had new clients.  I have also started writing my first book.  Add to that the  first snow storm of the season and it is has been a powerful week.

One of the things I've had to get used to is having good things happen.  I know that sounds strange, but for myself (as well as many others) it can be odd when things start to go right for us.  This is particularly so when the road has been long and full of twists and delays.  It takes some adjustment to take the good in stride.  Many spiritual and meditative tools are designed to help us accept setbacks and failures so it can be difficult to put the experience into context.  The thing is though we must learn to accept not only things that challenge us but also those that make life fun and enjoyable.

This is in part exacerbated by the way I plan or strategize.  I used to make lots of little plans almost all of which failed.  For a while I made no plans and drifted, taking advantage of whatever opportunities arose.  This of course was not very productive.  So I took a step back and started to focus not on the immanent future but the far future.  Making little choices here and there while still taking advantage of what opportunities drifted by.  I did my best to make do and be happy where I was.    From the outside it can look very passive and there is a sort of a relaxed approach.  I mean occasionally I would pursue something quite vigorously but mostly I'd slowly move in one direction.

I call this strategy the long game.  I first got a taste of it years ago when I was purging my space of accumulated papers and possessions.  (I was quite the packrat of notebooks and old assignments).  I came across a notebook from high school  and in it I had some of my goals and wishes listed from when I was first discovering creative visualization (a good beginner's guide is by Shakti Gawain).  As I read through it I realized that I had achieved almost every goal I had listed.  It took years but I got there.  For some people they get what they want very quickly, but back then I was operating under the belief that I couldn't get what I wanted.  Discovering that I had gotten what I had requested was a big turning point.  I had done it.  I had achieved my dreams, my timetable just was different than other people's and my own expectations.  Now I plan my goals a bit further out.  I plant the seeds and slowly tend them.  Occasionally I take drastic action but more often than not I just allow things to come to me in their own time.  I gently apply new skills gradually.  I work in my own slow rhythm and low and behold it works.   The effects of my efforts are cumulative and so the more I accomplish and do the more that lays the groundwork for what is next.  The long game spends a lot of time building the pathways for what you desire to come to you, but once you do, things just seem to happen (some would say as if by magic).

So why am I telling you this?  Well maybe you've been too hard on yourself.  Maybe you have felt like a failure, like you are getting nowhere.  Look back to where you were 10 years ago.  Do you remember what you wanted to accomplish?  Has any of it come to pass?  Are you closer to your heart's goals?  What if you slowed down and played the long game?  What if you did one small thing here and another down the line as you could?  What if you realized that wherever you are is the perfect place for you to live your life?  Maybe this is a pivot point and things will happen faster now, or maybe just some things.  We can look at the world or our life and be discouraged or we can look for those small signs of change.  Eventually they reach a threshold and our life seems to magically transform.  Try it out for a bit, I've got another move to make in my game.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle