Sunday, June 24, 2018
I hope your week was fruitful. I had an eventful one with the summer solstice falling on Thursday. It meant for a second ceremony this week beyond my Friday prayers.
This week for me was all about self care. I'd hit the wall as far as tiredness goes. I have obligations that are usually easy to meet, a weekly prayer ceremony and quarterly drumming (sometimes accompanied by despacho). I didn't know how I was going to be able to show up and be effective. So I asked for what I wanted. I took a meditation break in the afternoon rather than heading to the store to get flowers and other despacho supplies. I was ready to let go of doing the despacho ceremony, but other people agreed to step in and bring what I needed. I was glad that I went ahead and included it as part of the solstice ceremony, but I am equally glad that I honored my individual needs and delegated some of the tasks.
Lately when people have asked me how I have been I have one word that describes it, tired. You'd be surprised how often that response is ridiculed or down played. I've been helping with caregiving this past month for not one but two relatives while trying to continue my normal work activities. The reality of it is that I have one relative who is in the process of dying, the other has a long recovery from a serious surgical procedure. So my fatigue is both physical and emotional. I haven't been able to follow up with self care like meditation, and plain old sleeping to recuperate. Amidst this I've had people say things like, "Well no one ever died from lack of sleep," , or this, "You don't have kids how can you be tired?", or my personal favorite, "You can sleep when you're dead." Let me respond to those statements by saying, "Fuck you and may thousands of voracious fleas infest your genitals!" I'm sorry that was inappropriate, maybe I'm just a bit emotional, maybe it's because I'm FUCKING TIRED!
I don't know who started the Cult of the Perpetually Exhausted, but I hope they died in a horrific accident caused by their sleep deprivation. Now sleep isn't the only form of rest sometimes just sitting quietly with no plans or expectations can be wonderful. For some reason our society has waged a war against being well rested. If we aren't on the go and being productive we are deemed weak or lazy. The go till you drop mindset has infected our workplaces and we even carry that into into our personal lives overcommitting to events and activities. There are times when you do have to put in extra effort and push past limits, but in times past you'd expect to rest afterwards. These days it is just onto the next overpacked scheduled task.
So why am I telling you this? Well I've had less patience for people lately so I do apologize. It's become taboo to take care of our own needs. Good intelligent people actually feel guilty for taking any amount of time to rest. This cannot stand. Lack of rest and downtime might not immediately kill you (unless you operate heavy machinery regularly), but it does suck the life out of living. I am lucky that usually my schedule is fairly flexible, but many of us don't have that option and no matter what people say it is slowly killing us.
How about you? Are you a card carrying cult member? Are you at war with getting rest? Do you put your physical needs for downtime on the sidelines? If you do, you're not alone. Many of us have this habit, and like any habit we can change it with a little effort and consistency. If others have unrealistic expectations for you, tell them. I mean somebody should. Think of it as doing them a favor, maybe they'll start to tend to their own needs a bit better. So I hope this missive finds you well and well rested. Take a summer nap and think of me.
Peace and Blessings,