Sunday, October 7, 2018
I hope you've had a pleasant week. It certainly has been a challenging one from the cultural level.
Fair warming my liberal bent may a bit more on display in this post.
Unless you've been hiding under a rock for the past few weeks, you are aware that the recent nominee for the U.S. Supreme Court has been accused of sexual assault. I believe the accusers. This is the latest scandal and atrocity that this political climate has brought to light. We are in the middle of a cultural war. This goes beyond the war on women (which is a real thing guys), it goes beyond the right for same sex couples to marry, it goes beyond race, and it goes beyond religious extremism. At its most basic, it is clash between whether we wish to be an inclusive or exclusive culture.
I look around and I see grown men and women acting like kids do in middle school and high school. We have cliques for adults, they are called political parties, religions, and socio-economic status. In the past few years I have witnessed people say and do heinous things to anyone not in their clique. The fact that rape is terrible shouldn't be a controversial conclusion. Ripping children away from their parents and locking them in cages that look like dog kennels also should be easily recognized as evil. Destroying confidence in the press and 'facts' should also not be something to be applauded. Yet these things have been deemed a great success by those that champion the idea of exclusivity.
On the other end of the spectrum we have the idea of inclusiveness. Rather than trying to keep everyone else who isn't exactly like us out, we welcome them in. The idea that there is space at the table for everyone, oddly enough is not a new one. It is shared by many of the world's religions. Now most of us don't fall on the far end of either side of that spectrum. We also can move one direction or the other throughout our lives depending on our experiences and the company we keep. Exclusivity hoards privilege while inclusivity extends it.
Having been excluded quite a bit growing up I tend to fall in the camp that cheers for inclusivity. I was lucky being excluded as a kid from the social circles didn't affect my access to healthcare, housing, or my family. That same attitude which seeks to continue its cultural dominance is the one that contributes to bullying and violence. History shows us the dark harvest this paradigm reaps: slavery, poverty, and genocide.
Why am I telling you this? Well right now it is tough to remain hopeful as we witness our representatives champion cruelty in the name of exclusivity. Inclusiveness seems to be on the losing end of the argument at the moment. However the fire and noise that the exclusive camp is sending out shows that it feels threatened. It fears losing its dominance. In this time, it is probably the weakest it has been in recorded history. It may not feel like it, but if we keep pushing forward inclusiveness could become the norm. Imagine for a moment a world where people are treated fairly, and where our representatives care about everyone's well being. What could be accomplished if we didn't have one hand fighting to keep some people down? Think on it, keep hope alive, and keep speaking your truth.
Peace and Blessings,
Monday, October 1, 2018
Hope you've enjoyed the first few days of Autumn (if you're in the Northern Hemisphere). I started my season with drumming and despacho ceremony. The wheel turns and our lives move in a new pattern.
Autumn for me is a mixed bag. Some of my favorite things happen in this season, at the same time the fading light holds the promise of the dark winter to come. Fall is a time where I remember many friends that aren't with me anymore. It's a time of magic and of thinning veils. It is also the season in which I emerged from a shamanic death fifteen years ago. As the trees lost their leaves, and the animals laid down for the long winter sleep, I had new life racing through my body and spirit. I reclaimed myself from despair. As I've said previously, this summer was very challenging. In fact many of the conditions were a match for that summer that almost claimed my life. This time though I didn't have to fall so far. The wheel turned and hit me in the face, but I wasn't knocked down for the count. I think that means I've grown as a person.
The wheels of our lives turn, and we revisit similar situations throughout our lives. If we've done our work we interact with them from a different perspective. This is true on the personal as well as the collective level. Here in the U.S.A. we've been revisiting a lot of old patterns. In the past two years we've seen racism, sexism, and fascism make an unfortunate return to the mainstream culture. Although to be accurate they were always there, they were simply glossed over with platitudes and code words to sanitize them for the masses. There is a lot of people reacting with the "We've seen this before." They're right we have. I hope that this time we respond from a more mature and inclusive perspective. If we don', have no fear, the wheel will turn again and we'll be right back here.
Why am I telling you this? Well if you're like me, a lot of your old tendencies have been making an encore performance in your life lately. Although it is uncomfortable, it is also an opportunity. We have the option to respond differently. We can maybe even change directions so that this the last time the wheel brings this situation to us.
So how about you? Has the wheel of life brought back challenges you thought you had already tackled? Does the world seem to be stuck on the same song on the playlist? What if you brought to bear all the wisdom you've learned since the first time you heard that tune? What if you worked towards a different future? What if collectively we did the same? It's worth pondering as we wait for the wheel to turn.
Peace and Blessings,
Wednesday, September 19, 2018
Once again I am late posting. I am not sorry. I have been tending to my own needs, and putting time into my own healing path.
Lately I have found it difficult to write as I navigate my own challenges. In the past I have written my way through my own problems. This past summer though I've been moving through relationship struggles. I have found it near impossible to get to a more detached perspective in order to write about it in a way that is not calling someone out. That is not what this blog is about. It is about recognizing the patterns in my life that may apply to others, as well as my responses and thought processes as I encounter the world. I do sometimes rant about things, but if I rant I want it to be about a condition or pattern that many people are experiencing. I want to draw a line between someone being wrong about an issue and just being wrong. I have been labelled as 'wrong' before it is not something I wish to inflict on others.
All that said, I finally can talk in general terms about my experiences of the past 4 months. It can be summed up by saying I have not been treated with kindness. If you know me and are reading this, and are wondering if I am talking to you specifically, I am not. This pattern was pretty well spread around, it did not have one source. This has forced me to withdraw quite a bit from my social world. Many have negatively interpreted this or taken it personally. I suppose it is on a level, but mostly it was to preserve myself intact. Although it may seem like it sometimes, my heart is not made of stone or steel. It can break. The good news is that shamans for thousands of years have had the knowledge to put people back together. They have the technology to make you better, faster, stronger, and less of an asshole. So when I got to my breaking point I reached out. (Special thanks to my teachers).
When I was in a space where I was coherent enough to journey I went to see my power animal. When I asked him why people continued to treat me in this way he said, "You haven't fully stepped into and embodied your power. There is a space that is empty in you, and that space people project upon. Those that are in balance project kindness and generosity, those that are suffering project their pain onto you." He then took me to Eagle. Not the power animal eagle but to Eagle, Keeper of the East on the medicine wheel. Eagle did healing work on me which was so profound I wept copiously and shook in my chair (almost like convulsions but in a good way). After he had finished I asked him what to do about my relationship struggles. He answered, "Do what is there to do, just be." That may sound simple, but it was quite profound. My tendency is to run around trying to fix everything and make everyone okay with me. He wasn't finished with being all majestic though because he added, "To become Eagle you must become a man without enemies."
There is a lot to unpack there. I have for many years had the Mooneagle Shit List. Rest assured if you were on it, you worked real hard to get there. Now of course I am being told to retire that. Cancel all my grudges. Don't exile people into the outer wastes of the world. I would like to be clear here, me not having enemies doesn't mean I am just hunky dory with everyone. It doesn't mean I try to make everyone like me and please everyone. It doesn't mean I don't stand up for myself, a cause, or other people. It simply means I don't hold onto the adversarial energy and make it personal. Of course when someone hurts you it is very hard to not take that personally, but Eagle was very clear that the next stage of my development was about not doing that. It was about forgiveness and not carrying around the weight of the 'me versus them' mindset.
So why am I telling you this. Well I felt it was important to explain my absence these last few weeks as I did my inner work. I also believe many of us are indoctrinated into the adversarial mindset. Growing up we have stories with heroes and villains. We paint ourselves as the heroes of our life and those we have difficulty with become villains. We interpret all their actions through that lens, and odds are we misinterpret their motivations a fair bit of the time. We then have to hold ourselves rigidly during our encounters, not just with those people but with everyone. We're always on alert for the next arch-nemesis. This makes it easy in the sense that we have people to blame when things don't turn out the way we want them, and that is convenient because life rarely turns out the way we expect it to.
How about you? Have you got a shit list? Are you looking to expand it or burn it? Do you carry the weight of the past on your shoulders or is your heart light? I know I have carried the weight for far too long, and I would like to be lighter of heart. I don't expect it to be easy, but I do expect it to be worthwhile. Join me in a place beyond us and them, where we simply are.
Peace and Blessings,
Saturday, September 8, 2018
I haven't been very prompt with posts as of late. It seems to be a time of changes and I'm not quite sure which way the wind is blowing yet. Whichever direction, I seem to be accompanied there by butterflies.
The butterfly is symbolic of death and rebirth. It starts out as a caterpillar and then cocoons itself away from the world slowly dissolving its entire form before transforming into the beauty of the butterfly. The monarch butterfly makes an incredibly long journey. I was seeing them all the way up in Ontario, but come the fall they start to migrate back to Mexico for the winter. Monarchs have been few and far between the last few years, but all of the sudden wherever I go, I see them. At my stopover in Chicago my friend had even planted milkweed to help attract them. As someone who seems to get a lot of messages from omens I don't see these encounters as coincidence.
Right now there are things that are dying in my life. There are loved ones that are getting close to walking their final mile. There are relationships that are changing or ending altogether. The shape of my dreams has been changing as well. So something deep is stirring. It easy to feel raw and vulnerable while I try and find my feet again in this new energy. I feel as if I've been in stasis for many years and now the container I've been in is about to burst open just like a butterfly's cocoon. So maybe all the butterflies crossing my path is nature's way of reassuring me.
So why am I telling you this? I'm reminded of a song called Monarch, by singer/songwriter Matt Alber. A string of lyrics comes to mind, "In my body there is buried some strange memory of how to fly, what to follow, it will lead me to the origin of me...prehistory." Yeah there is a lot to unpack there. To me it means that what we need to move forward is already within us. The soul waits till the time is right to stir and guide us to spread our wings. In uncertain times there is something in the stillness that is ready to help us on our path. I find that a comforting thought.
How about you? What is stirring beneath your surface? What do the depths conceal within your heart? What do you hope will wake? In times such as this, the only advice I have is to go gently. Be kind to yourself and others. It is the same advice I give for life in general, but when we are at the crossing points it is doubly important and so easy to forget. Take time to thank Spirit for the little messengers and mysteries it sends your way. They may be delicate like butterfly wings or they may roar like the wind, but in the end they are the chimes to wake us from our trances. May you wake from your nightmares into sweeter dreams.
Peace and Blessings,
Monday, August 27, 2018
It's been a few weeks. I had been getting pretty stagnant when it came to blog posts. I decided to take a short break for my trip so that I could come back with fresh perspectives.
Every year I try and go someplace I've never been before. It doesn't have to be very far away, just some place new. Well Ontario was both new and got a stamp in my passport. (You have to ask them to stamp it though). I drove across the land over a thousand miles. This year I just felt I had to go a bit farther. I am moving into a new phase of my life, with a family member walking their last few miles, and myself allowing myself to be seen in my power. Lake Superior was a good choice for that experience I think. It echoes the power of the ocean.
This summer has been one of interpersonal conflicts for me. I'm not a person who enjoys or particularly does well with conflict, but I make people uncomfortable. I don't mean to. My energy has an effect. It can be subtle and deep, or it can be loud and center stage. What I've had to learn is that it is not about me, it is about them. In the past I have purposefully made myself seem small or hidden my light. Now it is getting to the point where I simply can't hide that shine. I can only make myself crazy trying to hold it back. I do my best to be respectful, but beyond that I have no control of how my energy will be received. This is not a fun lesson, but a necessary one.
So why am I telling you this? Well the world needs us all to step into and stand in our power. It may feel uncomfortable to start with, but it is the only way we will find lasting peace and a sense of belonging. Plus the people wielding power these days don't seem to have our best interests at heart. Why should we allow them to direct us? Why shouldn't we direct ourselves and our communities with authentic power? Who are we to deny our gifts to those around us?
What about you? Have you been stepping up and claiming your power? Have you allowed it to radiate to those around you? Have you kept it locked away afraid of what people might think of it? Sooner or later, the light will leak out. What if you just opened the door? What would happen if you allowed yourself to shine? Try it out and see what shakes loose.
Peace and Blessings,
Monday, August 6, 2018
This post is late, truthfully I started it yesterday and then scrapped it. The words seemed forced not hitting any deeper truths. I try to have my writing mean something, otherwise it is just a chore I set myself.
One of my favorite artists released a new album this year which I of course I had to immediately purchase. A good deal of my spiritual path has been scored by her work. For many years I only did readings, but coming into the pathways of manifestation and communion with nature spirits went hand in hand with her music. It is beautiful, poignant, and also more often than not quite sad. The road I've taken has not been an easy one, it has left me at times broken and close to life's edges. It has seen me lose the ones I love to death and more often betrayal. This album seems to call up the regret and grief in me. Yet now all of her music echoes with time and friends past. Nostalgia is not a simple emotion, it is like a forest in the mist, concealing as much as it reveals. August is one of the times where the summers of my past tend to haunt me a bit. I was often lonely growing up with long days of solitude. At the same time I dreaded summer's end because for several years I was terribly bullied at school.
The nights are lengthening noticeably once more. The light fades and the cold and dark seasons are waiting me with their difficulties, or in the words of House Stark, "Winter is coming." So the change in the light and the air brings up memories of all those former fading seasons. This has been stirred also by the sound of this album. For a while in the mid to late 90s Loreena McKennitt was releasing an album fairly regularly. Then her fiance passed away in 1998, it was almost 8 years before she released an album of new work. On this latest album there is a song called 100 wishes. As I listened to the lyrics it speaks of wishing to be in places with someone again.
It's funny the shapes that people carve out in your life and no matter how they exit those shapes are always there. Estrangement is a funny sort of loss, final yet not final. Having so many folks leave by that door often has me wondering what is wrong with me. My twenties was one long series of soulful hellos and fiery goodbyes. As I look back now I mourn for what had to be to bring me to who I am. Despite loss, despite pain, there could be no other way than the road I've walked. If it happened any other way I wouldn't know what I know, nor do what I do. Wishing it had been otherwise would be a waste of time and emotional energy. Not that I don't occasionally play the what if game because like everyone I do. I wouldn't want to be back there again, even knowing what I know now. How could I ever let myself be vulnerable if I saw where things would go? The loss and pain shaped me as surely as a lightning strike shapes a tree, and those contorted limbs and gnarled roots are what makes it unique.
So why am I telling you this? Well many of us waste our lives looking backwards, with the words, "If only I had done differently everything would be better." The truth is we don't know, and if we did we wouldn't be who we are. Like so many, we run from who we are, believing that we aren't enough in this moment. The idea that we'd love ourselves more if only we'd done better. Realizing this is hard because it takes away a distraction from the raw places that need attention in our lives currently. The work of accepting who we are and where we are is waiting for us.
How about you? Are you losing yourself in the ocean of past never had beens? Do your regrets rule your view of your life? Do you honor the gifts and experiences your road has brought to you? Does the pain of the past bring you sadness or wisdom? It can be both, and there is nothing wrong with that.
Peace and Blessings,
Monday, July 30, 2018
I can't believe it's been almost 3 years since I published my book. It's been on my mind as I have a series of book signings and events coming up. What I remember people asking me at the time is, "When is your next book coming out?" Now I didn't say it but my in my head I was thinking, "Hey asshole I just finished this one give me a minute!" If you've never written a book you can't appreciate the amount of time and effort it takes. What's even more amazing is that while I was writing it, I was continuing to pen my blog.
I do my best to put a blog post out every week. I'm under no obligation to do it, but I feel the pressure to keep it up. It has its own momentum now and I am a afraid of losing that. I have posted almost every week for the last 5 years. Having a weekly writing assignment really helped me develop my narrative voice. I learned that I have several different tones and that I can even blend them. These days I think I have a fairly well developed writing style so I am torn between keeping the blog active, and cutting myself some slack. See I don't know that many people actually read this thing. This is like a message in a bottle that floats on the ones and zeros of the web.
So why do I do it? Well it may not be widely read, but there have a been a few times when people have told me that what I wrote really helped them. There have been instances where writing about my life helped me to see it more clearly and get my thoughts and feelings more sorted. When you have to compose things for others you have to step outside your normal perspective. It's the difference between knowing something and being able to explain it. Of course with all of this speaking of my truth, I do worry that I am making myself completely unemployable. Companies scour the internet for prospective employee's postings. My posts can be not safe for work, or quite radical.
Why am I telling you this? Well the art of the written word is the one thing that sets us apart from other species. While other creatures have language (particularly dolphins and whales), they don't tend to write anything down. Writing gives a permanence to thought, as well as organization. For this alone it is useful. Writing crosses the ocean of time to share words and ideas between people both intimate and strange to each other. However the value I find is that the stranger within myself gets to know itself. As I write I see more clearly the content of my own mind. Some things I see are not comfortable to view. Others give me hope. So I suggest you write your own thoughts down. Put pen to paper. You need not cast it onto the electronic ocean for strangers to gawk at. You may keep sealed in a secret place for your eyes only. See yourself through the lens of your words. You may be surprised at what you find.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, July 22, 2018
I hope you had a rewarding week. I've kept myself occupied. I got to go out of town to visit a friend and make elderberry syrup. Yes I know exciting. I've also done a lot of planning for my upcoming trip up north in August.
So this little beauty showed itself yesterday evening. Many of us, myself included have had a rough few months. I personally have been bombarded with family issues at the same time that my friends have been going through their own crucibles. So rather than supporting each other we've been pulled to our own corners. However the coast seems to be clearing for us and we're once again coming together. I'm hoping that brighter times are ahead. This rainbow was the first of 3 rainbow references to show up in a 24 hour period. Sometimes the universe just wants to make sure I get the message. You know I can be a bit slow at times.
There's a lot of bad going on in the world. It can be overwhelming and seem like things will never get better. They will, I can't guarantee it will be soon, but they will improve. The rainbow has been a symbol of beauty and hope for many ages. It usually appears against the darkness of the storm clouds that helped create it. To me that says problems or challenges inherently contain the elements necessary to overcome them. Maybe it is about taking the darkness and from it creating something of transcendent beauty. It could also just mean, keep your head up kid things will turn around.
So why am I telling you this? Well it is too easy to get discouraged these days. Between traditional media and social media, people are vying to control our attention. More often than not it is negative stories that grab our eyeballs. Some people have postulated that what we are experiencing on a societal level is a wake up call. A decidedly rude wake up certainly, but a call to ditch our complacency with the status quo. This may also be happening in our personal lives. We can become comfortably unsatisfied with our lives, but be unwilling to shake things up. The good news is that life will come in and shake things up for us. Wait is that good news?
How about you? Are you stuck in the blahs? Are you seeing only the dark clouds and missing the rainbows? It's okay we've all been there. What if you started to look around you to see the good in the world? What if you stopped scrolling on Facebook? What if you spent more time disconnected from screens and more time beneath the sky? Try it out see how that feels, and until next time.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, July 15, 2018
Another week gone by and another blog post to pen. The summer has finally brought its bounty in tomatoes to my garden. The sound of the summer wind is heard in the chorus of cicadas and other insects. The long warm days and golden twilight remind me of years past.
You really can't get good store bought tomatoes. They have to harvest them green and spray them with a gas to force ripen them on the way. Otherwise they are too fragile to transport. So if you want really good tomatoes you have to goto a local farmers market or you have to grow them yourself. These cherry tomatoes have a vibrance and sweetness to them that they won't have at the tail end of the season. They'll still be hands down better than any ones you could get at the supermarket, but right now they have the sweetness of the sun in them.
When it comes down to it all life is a bit of captured starlight specifically our star, the sun. Nature has found a way of taking that light and infusing us with it via the food we eat, the fuels we use, and even the very vitamins in our body. When we are children we tend to personalize nature. That's why you see happy faces in crayon drawings of the sun. As we grow older we seem to pay less attention to these stalwart celestial objects. The sun and the moon become more abstract concepts as we lose our relationship to them. As we move through a human centric world we can if we're not careful succumb to the feeling of separation and isolation, even as we engage in 'social' media. We have lost connection to the land, sun, moon, rain, and winds. A vast majority of us eat food so processed that our ancestors wouldn't consider it real food. We live in highly inefficient climate controlled boxes (not that I don't like AC believe me with the weather we've had I am grateful) and we barely interact with each other.
Why am I telling you this? Well I think so many of us, myself included, have forgotten the real elements of life. We are bombarded by empty entertainments and instant communication, but we are drowning in isolation. In short. we have forgotten what matters. Not just in the human world, but in the world of our animal cousins and plant neighbors. I have watched as neighbors and friends have put their heads in the sand as atrocities committed in our names are perpetrated against people and the health of the planet. Fouled waterways are someone else's problem, mass incarceration is not their fault, and children ripped from their families and put in cages are part of a political slogan. I can't imagine that there is much sweetness in the lives of those that would choose to harm others they have never met.
So how about you? Are you aware of your roots? Can you taste the sweetness of the sun in your fruits? Is the world of men leaving a foul taste in your spirit? There are other relationships we can cultivate beyond our human neighbors. We can be friend to the sun and streams. We can be lovers to the moon. We can delight in the song of the wind. My hope is that as we reconnect to those relationships that we'll act in a way that honors them. The echo of our soul is to be found in nature, for we too are part of nature. Remember that as you enjoy the fruits of the seasons.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, July 8, 2018
I hope your week went well. Everything seems to be happening at once which if you don't hold with linear time is alright. If you are still operating under that dream then you best hold onto your hat, because this is where things get weird.
For quite a while now I've been seeding possibilities for many different ventures. It seems they are all coming up right at the same time. I find myself slightly overwhelmed. I'm simultaneously getting back into my artwork, while setting up a chi kung video, speaking at a new psychic fair, and I am preparing to teach my first international workshop. I think it is apt that it happens to be about the multidimensional nature of the soul. It quite literally is a quantum leap forward for my life. (Side note tell me which of the above images should be the poster).
As I was flipping through channels today I saw that the movie Tomorrowland was on. This movie got rather poor reviews and a lackluster reception at the box office when it came out. There was a complaint that it was too optimistic. Looking around these days I can't think of better praise for something. One quote that sticks with me is, "Dreamers have to stick together." One of the central points of the film is that our dreams for our future shape and guide it. I am reminded of the teachings of the Inca who had a type of shaman whose sole purpose was to dream the world into being. That dream was a quantum snapshot, collapsing the possibilities into place forming the structure of our participatory reality.
So why am I telling you this? Well if you look around our world it seems that our quantum snapshot got stuck in one of our nightmares rather than the more pleasant dreams. We live in an age of distraction. Everything between ads, social media, traditional media, and political leaders are doing their best to distract us from our quantum nature. That part of us is capable of incredible and sometimes instantaneous transformation. The power structures of the world are afraid of that. A vast number of us have both the information and technology at our fingertips to create world altering phenomena. So they sing lullabies and conjure apocalyptic visions to keep our minds focused on what we fear. Then they jump in to 'save' us from the bad ugly thing that terrifies us.
So how about you? Are you ready to take a quantum leap forward (or sideways, or slantwise) in life? Are you entranced by the 24 hour media storm of tragedy and scandal? Is your instagram feed eating your soul? Are you letting the sands of your life slip away reading endless blog posts? Not this one of course. ;-) Well I think it is time to get synched up with your soul, access that power, and DREAM BIG BABY! Make the powers shake in their little boots. Tear off the roof of what's possible. Forge a destiny and write it in the stars above. The world needs dreamers like you badly. Heed the call. Leap forward and claim your dreaming self. I will see you in that delicious reverie.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, July 1, 2018
I hope your week went well. We've had intense weather as well as a lovely full moon. I sometimes wonder how much to share in these musings. It felt really good last week to spew forth a blue streak of my frustrations. However I also realize that this blog gets shared to both my homepage and my author page on amazon. I need to present as professional for potential clients and customers, so I try to balance between authenticity and prudence. Many people have an idea in their head that people who do this sort of work are more evolved. They mistakenly think that we don't have blind spots or flaws. I believe this sort of thinking is dangerous for people who seek spirit practitioners and for the spirit practitioners themselves. It fosters an imbalanced power dynamic that can allow the more wounded parts of the self to exert an undue influence. You see this in the rise of cults, where the leader starts to believe his (or her) own hype. I find it difficult to reconcile broadcasting my human failings with the idea that I can be of service to you. Maybe I lose some business, but I like to think that the people who end up coming to see me do so with eyes open. Hopefully it balances out.
Lately I've been building the energy for my summer workshop series I'll be teaching in Minneapolis and Thunder Bay in August. I've been playing around with my crystal skull Pepe. He is very jolly skull and I can't wait for all the participants to experience his particular vibe. He's been enjoying being around for my ceremonies and grids. Friday at the office he was present as I opened the space, which I do the same way each time. As I did so I had a strong multidimensional feeling, it was if there was a line of me behind and in front of me across time. All of us were performing the opening ceremony together. This brought home the idea of working across time to create more powerful effects. This is also one of the reasons that I do my prayer ceremony on the same day every week. If I was really spiffy I would do it at the exact same time, but that would be expecting life to be a bit more predictable than is realistic.
Time is a funny concept. I've mostly felt it like a weight. Staying in the same place too long it can sometimes be a challenge to break out of a pattern. As I walk down the same streets I feel the echo of all the times I have walked down them before, and what I carried with me. The flip side of that is I also have all the times that I transcended on my side too. Learning to access more of myself, I can leverage more power to create the life I desire. We exist across time for a reason. We cannot be contained in only one moment. Our soul needs that continuum to bring out all of our richness.
So why am I telling you this? Well, our habits carve grooves in time. This can work for us or against us. The more we show up in a loving way, the more of that loving self there is to call upon in every other moment of our lives. The more times we ask Spirit to come into our lives, the more powerful the effect, because we have the cumulative effect of that intervention.
How about you? Are you neglecting the dimension of time in your life? Are you valuing it? Are you using it in a mindful way? Are you gathering all your past selves to you lovingly? What about your future selves? Do you feel burdened by the familiar paths? Do you long to cut a new path across the valley of time? Do you spend your days feeling isolated from the vastness of your soul? If so I suggest you pick an action whether it be prayer, meditation, or exercise and engage your selves across time both past and future. Check into to all those emanations of the soul across the timeline. See how that feels, until next time.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, June 24, 2018
I hope your week was fruitful. I had an eventful one with the summer solstice falling on Thursday. It meant for a second ceremony this week beyond my Friday prayers.
This week for me was all about self care. I'd hit the wall as far as tiredness goes. I have obligations that are usually easy to meet, a weekly prayer ceremony and quarterly drumming (sometimes accompanied by despacho). I didn't know how I was going to be able to show up and be effective. So I asked for what I wanted. I took a meditation break in the afternoon rather than heading to the store to get flowers and other despacho supplies. I was ready to let go of doing the despacho ceremony, but other people agreed to step in and bring what I needed. I was glad that I went ahead and included it as part of the solstice ceremony, but I am equally glad that I honored my individual needs and delegated some of the tasks.
Lately when people have asked me how I have been I have one word that describes it, tired. You'd be surprised how often that response is ridiculed or down played. I've been helping with caregiving this past month for not one but two relatives while trying to continue my normal work activities. The reality of it is that I have one relative who is in the process of dying, the other has a long recovery from a serious surgical procedure. So my fatigue is both physical and emotional. I haven't been able to follow up with self care like meditation, and plain old sleeping to recuperate. Amidst this I've had people say things like, "Well no one ever died from lack of sleep," , or this, "You don't have kids how can you be tired?", or my personal favorite, "You can sleep when you're dead." Let me respond to those statements by saying, "Fuck you and may thousands of voracious fleas infest your genitals!" I'm sorry that was inappropriate, maybe I'm just a bit emotional, maybe it's because I'm FUCKING TIRED!
I don't know who started the Cult of the Perpetually Exhausted, but I hope they died in a horrific accident caused by their sleep deprivation. Now sleep isn't the only form of rest sometimes just sitting quietly with no plans or expectations can be wonderful. For some reason our society has waged a war against being well rested. If we aren't on the go and being productive we are deemed weak or lazy. The go till you drop mindset has infected our workplaces and we even carry that into into our personal lives overcommitting to events and activities. There are times when you do have to put in extra effort and push past limits, but in times past you'd expect to rest afterwards. These days it is just onto the next overpacked scheduled task.
So why am I telling you this? Well I've had less patience for people lately so I do apologize. It's become taboo to take care of our own needs. Good intelligent people actually feel guilty for taking any amount of time to rest. This cannot stand. Lack of rest and downtime might not immediately kill you (unless you operate heavy machinery regularly), but it does suck the life out of living. I am lucky that usually my schedule is fairly flexible, but many of us don't have that option and no matter what people say it is slowly killing us.
How about you? Are you a card carrying cult member? Are you at war with getting rest? Do you put your physical needs for downtime on the sidelines? If you do, you're not alone. Many of us have this habit, and like any habit we can change it with a little effort and consistency. If others have unrealistic expectations for you, tell them. I mean somebody should. Think of it as doing them a favor, maybe they'll start to tend to their own needs a bit better. So I hope this missive finds you well and well rested. Take a summer nap and think of me.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, June 17, 2018
I may actually get my blog post out on time this week. I feel so accomplished.
Well this week I was at my lowest I've been in many years mentally and physically. I was exhausted in my body and in my heart. A lot of people think that life doesn't happen to me because I'm all magical and mysterious. That of course is complete bullshit. I have the same struggles and challenges that everyone does (plus a few others that come with being 'special'). What I have been dealing with lately is the decline of a grandparent and the convalescence of a parent. That has been the backdrop to some longstanding interaction patterns that are unhealthy and in some cases toxic in my family. You know what they say if you think you're enlightened go spend a week with your family.
In times of stress we don't think clearly. Well at least I don't. It is easy to shut down and become fixated on the current dilemma. For me it is like a script in my head telling me what's going on and where it will lead. Normally there is some balance with that, but in certain instances it is like our brains get stuck on the same station and for some reason they are playing the same bad song over and over. The thing that I have noticed is that the voice dictating the script in my head has been repeating other people's projections of me (or if we want to get real technical my perception of their projections). What was alarming about this projection was it was wearing my face, and masquerading as my identity. I had internalized these projections true or not, and now they were ruling the roost. So Mr. False Face was reading my internal dialog and it was pretty nihilistic. So sometimes I forget that I have tools. Luckily I also have many allies, and some are very persistent with getting my attention. Long story short, I went to see my power animal and they shook me loose a bit. After that journey I still had that inner monologue in my head, but I now had other counterpoint voices saying things like, "I don't think that's true," or "Well that's not helpful at all," or "You only think they think that about you, odds are that's not right."
Yes I have voices in my head. I talk to myself, sometimes I crack myself up too. I was telling another practitioner that was working on me that having multiple voices in my head was far preferable to having just one. One voice makes it very easy to obsess and get stuck in an unhealthy idea. To quote a favorite show of mine, "A delusion starts out like any other idea." Having multiple inner voices actually helps me to hold more than one perspective. This is a useful skill if you are giving intuitive readings, but it is also useful tool in general for discernment. In this middle world we have to discern truth from lies, balance from imbalance, and love from fear. We have to be able to examine our own thoughts, and having multiple points of view in your own head is a great start.
So why am I telling you this? Well many of you may have noticed that I haven't been on my stride the last few weeks, or that my posts have been sort of morose. This happens, sometimes life knocks us down. The important thing is to find a way to get back up, or ask for a hand. It is easy to obsess over what is not right in our lives or what is 'wrong' with us (or someone else). It's okay to have those thoughts, but you probably don't want to have them on continuous playback.
How about you? Do you have a monolithic voice dictating your identity and circumstances to you? Is the voice kind? Is the voice helpful? Is it accurate? Does it wear your face, but seem to act like a past authority figure you've encountered? What if we opened up the internal forum for more voices of reason and feeling? None of us are just one thing, so why should one voice speak for our psyche? In the coming weeks encourage your various voices to speak up. You might be surprised to find that what you thought was you, is really a masked figure from your past. Thank them for their input and then pass the microphone.
Peace and Blessings,
Wednesday, June 13, 2018
I hope you had a great first week of June. I've been kept busy between assisting family members with caregiving this week and also officiating a wedding. However I did get out one evening to see a movie with friends and that was wonderful.
This morning as I was teaching my Tai Chi class I had an interesting experience. The fitness room that I teach in has mirrored walls on two sides of the room. One of those walls has doors leading to a supply closet They were not quite latched so the mirrors were slightly eschew. Now as I led class toward that wall I noticed I had no reflection showing, due to the angle of the doors. I was seeing all the students but not myself. This struck me as very strong metaphor.
Often we don't see ourselves, only those around us. For me personally I've struggled a lot throughout my life in envisioning a positive future for myself. Having no reflection showing in front of me was a clear reminder that this is still an issue for me. I got used to not looking too far ahead or making plans beyond the next project. I don't see myself on the path before me. That is of course one interpretation of this coincidence. Another could be that none of us really see ourselves only the people around us, and it is through their actions that we form our self image. Sometimes though we don't even want to look at ourselves, afraid of what we might find there.
There comes a point in life where many of us settle for just getting by, because the way our society is structured makes that very difficult. Not all dreams should come to fruition, but there are deep yearnings in our hearts that when we deny them, we die a little. I'm not talking of dreams of huge homes and fancy cars. I'm speaking of how we live, relate to each other, and how we spend the bulk of our time. Why do we accept so much less? Is it because we don't think we deserve what our heart longs for? Is it because we think we cannot have it? Is it because we are afraid that if we get what we want we'll still be unhappy and it is better to not risk the disappointment?
I do apologize this post is not exactly up lifting. Still even in darker musings there can be some wisdom and value to be found. I have found that living through hard times has made me get very specific about what I don't want, which makes it easier to seek out what I do. I hope that your time in the shadow land is brief, and that you learn something to your advantage while you are moving through it. While you are there it can be tempting to just focus on getting through, but try if you can to envision where you want to come out of the tunnel. Beyond pain there is more than just relief, there is laughter, joy, and love...always love. I wish for all of that for you.
Peace and Blessings,
Wednesday, June 6, 2018
I hope you are doing well. I know this post is several days late. Be thankful there is one at all. The post is late because I've been overwhelmed lately.
So there has been some health issues in my family and I am stepping in a bit more to help out. This has left me tired both physically and mentally. At the same time it seems people in my social sphere are all going through some rough patches. Last month I was feeling grief for the past quite acutely. It has not left me, but I am currently also dealing with current issues. In times such as these where things must get done, I tend to unplug emotionally. It seems to be the way that I can cope with demands on my energy. This does of course make me less receptive to holding space for others when they are feeling tender.
I don't think I am unique in this. We all tend to dissociate from time to time if we feel things are too intense for us to handle and function, or we have breakdown. I've had those but only on the inside. I kept plugging along on my have to do list whilst I quietly freaked out behind my eyes. So in the past 2 weeks I've been less empathetic than I normally tend to be. I've not had the energy. I've come to a place where no matter what I do somebody is going to be super pissed and project their struggle onto me. I can't help that. I started to worry over it, and it was just more to carry. So I stopped and put it down. I realized I couldn't hold space for anyone else right now but myself. This had nothing to do with any personal flaw or being a bad person.
Why am I telling you this? Well there are times when we just don't have it to give of ourselves. All we can do is hold ourselves gently up and acknowledge our limits without judgment. We can't be all things all the time, nor should we. Compassion starts with the self even when we can't show up the we think we should for others.
How about you? Are you burned out from your own trauma, but expecting yourself to help others process theirs? Are you past exhaustion but piling more duties on your plate? Do you give yourself the space to hold your own feelings in compassion, or do you just do that for others? Well at some point you will stop, and in my experience it is better if you make that choice consciously rather than having it made for you. Be gentle with yourself, and forgive yourself. Those around you will do so in their own time.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, May 27, 2018
I hope you are doing well. This week like most has been full of ups and downs. Despite the downs I am moving full steam ahead to set things up for the summer. I will be on the road in August. As part of my deal with myself to try and go someplace I've never been each year, I'll be passing through some places in Wisconsin and Minnesota. I will also end up in Thunder Bay, Ontario, because this eagle is about to go international.
How do you like my first shot at a DVD cover? Personally I'd like those triangles a little longer, more isosceles and less equilateral. Still it isn't bad for just playing around. I'm working on my first professional instructional DVD and I will be teaching workshops on the road. For whatever reason this week I've just been knocking out tasks one after another. I spent so many years wishing for things to change, to have my chance, and now it feels like it is happening. The difference between now and then is how I act on things.
I remember years ago when the movie "The Secret" came out. Like many people I was in a desperate space and wanted to manifest my dreams. The formula was be grateful, visualize, and release. Sounds simple and I don't want to knock that, being able to envision the life you want is important. What so many of us leave out of it is taking steps towards that life. Acting is scary, it forces us into places where we aren't comfortable. It forces us to change up what we are doing. For someone like me who wants reassurance that where I am going and what I am doing is going to work out, that's a big challenge. I've learned though you have to start with or without that guarantee and though things rarely go to plan they usually take me where I need to be. I'm still working on the where I want to be part. My road twists and turns taking me to places I never anticipated and I'm the better for it.
I officially started my business about 8 years ago. I wish I had known the things I know now back then, but that's life. You learn as you go. Here are some of things I picked up along the way. The biggest thing is to just start. Try not to get too narrowly focused (ah my old nemesis tunnel vision). When people ask you if you do something that is bigger than what you currently do instead of saying no, say not yet. Find a way to reach people that matches your interaction style rather than trying to force yourself into a standard marketing practice. When you have an idea write it down before you forget it (because you will). Write and write often to develop your personal voice. Go out and have fun, because it is important for your well being, but all also because you may meet potential clients or experts that you need.
So why am I telling you all this? Well the energy these days seems to be stirred up, and we might as well make use of it. Dreaming is fine, but don't dream too long or you may find you've slept your life away. Wishing is fine, but it needs to be the force that drives your decisions and plans rather than an empty ideal. It's empowering to bring your ideas to life, so even if the big goals seem impossible start with some of the little ones that point in that direction. I'm still far off from what I wished for years ago, but I'm closer today than I was then.
How about you? Are you stuck where you are? Have you let your dreams fizzle into half faded wishes? Are you taking steps to bring your vision to life? Are you paying attention to opportunities around you that may move you along? Are you limiting yourself? Well if you are I'd like to encourage you to get out and try something. You don't have the bet the farm your first time out, but you can always start somewhere. We're all underway to somewhere, and while we may not be in complete control we do have some ability to steer. Try making use of it.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, May 20, 2018
I hope you had an enjoyable week. This week has been chock full of events and preparation. Last weekend I had the Louisville Spiritualists Center's event, where I helped set up and organize the healers. This week I was prepping for the Mighty Kindness and my monthly local chapter meeting for the Monroe Institute. By now you'd think I'd learn that I don't have to bring everything that I do to a festival or event, but don't I try every time.
These last few weeks I've been so emotional. Past relationships have been on my mind, those that ended either by estrangement or death. The relationship that has been on the forefront of my mind has been my relationship with self. There's been moments where I've let all self judgments and shame drop away, and in those all too brief times it feels just phenomenal to be me. In those all too fleeting moments I feel so light like I could float right off the ground. It's only with the contrast of those gifted flashes of Grace that I realize how much mental/emotional weight I am carrying around.
The truth is I have not been very kind to myself. I've been bullied, ignored, or disrespected so much that it barely registers anymore. It takes something big to get my attention. This numbing has been a primary coping mechanism, but it hasn't kept the pain out. It has normalized and then internalized it. That critical voice of authority from long ago now speaks in my own tones inside my head. I've been dragging these heavy burdens with me everywhere, it's no wonder I find so many things challenging. I've begun to think though that if I have accomplished what I have in spite of those internal torments and the chains I've been pulling along, what could I do if I found a way to set all of that aside and only carried myself.
It sounds simple, but like most simple things it isn't easy. We often internalize what we hear repeated over and over, especially if it was something we heard a lot of when we were kids. We come to believe what others say about us must be true. This is because we are social creatures, and in society what gets mirrored back to us forms our self image. Things like meditation help us to disassociate from that often false and distorted image. It can take time though, because most of that image is unconsciously generated. I'll give you an example, when I was around 14 or so I had someone I looked up to say that unless I was very handy or made lots of money nobody would ever love me. This person was very near and dear to my heart at the time. (14 year olds are not very discerning with who gets access to their self image). I went through adolescence believing that, hell up through my 20s and most of my 30s. Guess who is still single? Now of course I know on a rational level that statement is complete bullshit, but on a subconscious level I obviously still put stock in it. It's why I put up with people treating me like a nonperson. That's just one belief that did a lot of damage because instead of deciding that person was awful I continued to invest in them. I took on that burden to carry instead of carrying myself away from their influence.
Why am I telling you this? Well I have found that many of the problems we have boil down to us carrying around someone else's judgment of ourselves until we believe it is our own. Their assessment becomes our reality. We become disconnected to who we are, instead we strive to be good enough to snuff out that judgement, but it is always there in the corners of our psyche, a slow and subtle poison that steals our joy. "I'm not ____ enough. No one could ever love me. I'm not worthy. Good things are for others. I'll never get over this." There is your starter pack of lies for a cursed life.
So in the coming weeks I ask that you look at how you treat yourself. What is it you believe about yourself? Does it come from your personal experience or is it someone else's view that you have internalized? What if you were to see yourself in your own truth? What if the lies we tell ourselves were to fall away? What would you be then? What would you feel like? What would your life be like? I hope that we all set down our burdens, maybe then we can all fly somewhere together.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, May 13, 2018
Happy Mothers's Day, here's a flower for you.
I have memories from a very young age. I remember being bathed in the kitchen sink at dusk by my mother. I was probably two years old at the time. My very first memory was my mother driving me home from her mother's house. There are countless thoughtful deeds she has done for me. There are also times where she missed the mark and wounded me deeply as we all do to the ones we love from time to time. There are also times where I've been ungrateful, thoughtless, and downright unfeeling. Such is the nature of family.
The primal bond between mothers and their children is the most powerful force there is in nature. I've seen it both break and cast curses. Quite simply the relationship you have with your mother will color all of your other relationships. For most of us it is a complicated relationship. When we pass into adulthood it can be difficult for both children and mothers to adapt to the new status. We can become trapped into the roles we wore growing up. Now that works both ways, adult children can also expect their parents to be the same all powerful figures from their childhood. That's assuming there was no trauma or abuse which opens up a whole new set of complications.
Mother's Day can be hard for many reasons. Maybe you've lost your mother to death. Maybe your relationship was abusive and toxic. Maybe you never knew your mother. Holidays bring out our wounds that haven't healed. As we move forward in our life we have to look after ourselves, we become our own mothers and fathers. If we can't heal our connection to our biological parents, we can work to heal our inner parental archetypes.
So why am I telling you this? Just like us, our mothers carried their own wounds and traumas. Many of them did the very best they could working through their pain to be there for us. Maybe yours did good by you or maybe she didn't. At this time it is good to acknowledge those around us that have mothered us and others. Not all mothers are related to us. Wherever I go I seem to encounter the energies of the Mother and the Grandmother, whether it is in the feel of the shade of trees or in the people I meet. There are those that care for me with that same tenderness I have been blessed to experience. So I try to judge less and love more.
How about you? What's your relationship status with your mother or her memory? Are you carrying the old hurts around with you everywhere, or have you managed to salve the wounds of the past? Do you value those among us that take care of others? Do you value your own role as caregiver? Cut the mothers in your life some slack, and if you're a mother cut yourself some slack too. Mother needs her consideration as much as her children.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, May 6, 2018
I hope you had a lovely week. It is May and the weather has finally turned to warmth. Cool breezes at night and warm sunshine in the day make this my favorite time of the year. I forget how renewing the seasons can be, and I am grateful.
So on one of the last cooler days we had, I came out to my car and a lone honeybee was on the window. It looked at me, and I looked at it. For some unknown reason I felt instantly drawn to this small creature as it looked in on me. I fully expected it to fly off after I started the car and began to drive away, but it didn't. I went in to teach my evening class fully expecting it to be gone when I came back out. It was still there. I drove home with my small companion, and the next morning it was still there. It had rained and was quite cold for the season, I was worried for the bee. Again I'm not sure why but I felt a heart connection to this little insect.
This is not the first time I have had this kind of experience with an insect. A few years back a beautiful white moth was on the patio door looking in and I could swear it was beaming unconditional love at me. I've also had strange encounters with unusually helpful birds. I've had instances where it felt like even the trees were waving hello as I walked past. Now some people would call this delusional, but in shamanic societies this would be the norm. I think we take for granted just how much we relate to our fellow organic beings. The fact that we have animals that live with us as companions, and some even do vital service for us is amazing. We're communicating across species, that's phenomenal. I can't even get decent technical help for my cellular service, and that's just because of a slight language barrier. These animals don't have thumbs and we communicate.
Human beings never got very far on their own. We are social creatures, and where it was possible we threw in our lot of with other species to advance. Think how cats and dogs have contributed to society, and what about the horse. Even in this day and age we still refer to the amount of power in our vehicles as horsepower. Indigenous cultures around the world always incorporated animals into their stories as helpful (or sometimes less than helpful) characters. This is not an accident, whether we know it or not we are in relationship with all other lifeforms around us. The nature of that relationship will determine how rich our lives become.
So why am I telling you all this? Well I think we take for granted all of our distant relations in this world. We miss out on the healing power in the song of birds. We become indifferent to the plight of the deer that seek to cross our roads. If not for a slight variance in DNA we would be them, and they us. Go back far enough and everyone and everything is related. We are individuals, but we are also part of a whole system of life. So as you go about your business notice your cohabitants. Appreciate their contribution to the vast tapestry of life around you. Are you in balance with this network? Do you honor its sacredness or do you walk asleep through artificial worlds of the human mind. Ponder, feel, look at the dizzying array of life, and be good to your distant cousins. Maybe somewhere along the way a creature or plant will reach across the biological divide to offer you exactly what you need in that moment.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, April 29, 2018
I hope this message finds you well and safe. I've been feeling blessed lately as it seems my constant efforts are finally starting to pay off. I can see the life I've dreamed of finally taking focus around me. Still there are things that remain elusive.
This year I've finally had the opportunity to consistently use my talents in session work with clients. Things are becoming more steady and I'm having to really check my calendar before I say yes to anything. I find that a good problem to have (if we want to label it a problem which I don't). I feel like I'm finally finding a rhythm with session work where I can relax into it. When I opened my practice 8 years ago (I know I can hardly believe it myself), it was kind of frustrating because each session I had to figure out what I was doing. Every single one was different, even if it was with the same client. Now when I see someone whether for the first time or as a regular client, I am used to the variability. I do have some things I check on regularly, but other than that anything can happen.
The nice thing about each session being different is that I can't get bored or complacent. Each time I see someone it is like a puzzle. Sometimes I just look at a person and I know exactly what to do, even before they arrive. Other times I have to spend a few moments finding my way into the session. Just finding out what we're working on is not always so cut and dry. People come to me for a variety of reasons, some with very specific goals or problems. However I go where I am led and that is not always where the person had intended. Whatever brought them to me may have just been a way for some other deeper pattern to be healed. There are also people that just want to have an experience and have a very soft focus. That holds a different challenge, how do you measure the success of an undefined goal?
So where do I start? Well the first thing I do is set up the space, I may be drawn to pull certain items out or burn a particular incense. This might be a clue to the work that will be done. I also select some ambient music to drown out any noise from the hall. This may also be significant (or not). Then I set up my mesa, which could be open or closed for the session. If I do open it up, how I arrange the stones and tools upon it might also clue me in to what patterns are moving in a person's life. After the space is set and the client arrives, I ask them directly how they are, and why they are here. Sometimes I move the mesa around a bit while chatting, explaining as I do so what that means. So after the chit chat, and the arranging of the space I take my first look. I see if there is anything on or around the person that is drawing my attention. Then I zero in on that and investigate, see if I need to remove something or bring something in. From there the session develops and flows, as I work I ask the client for feedback on their experience as I make adjustments in their energy field. This conversation sometimes is just to confirm with them that they can track what I'm doing, but other times the information or feelings that come up for them become the guiding force for the rest of the session. If I get stumped, I take a step back, engage the client again and ask for guidance. Now sometimes my guides and helpers just take over and just tell me what to do, which is awesome because I don't have to tax my brain as much for that. Usually the sessions that are taken over by Spirit are the most powerful ones, but not always. Sometimes the sessions where I've had to dig deep to find what is really going on are the most valuable ones. Like I said before each one is different.
So why am I telling you all this? Well I think it is important for people to get a glimpse of how I work. It is also important for you guys to know that I sometimes do get stumped. I end up doing spiritual troubleshooting half the time. It used to annoy me, but now I just see it as part of the job. It definitely keeps things interesting. A client recently asked me about whether I doubt myself ever. I told them all the time. I think that's normal and healthy as long as I don't let it get in the way of the work. If you think you know everything, you never search for more. Life may have routines but is not rote. Life is constant change and being able to figure things out on the go is important.
So how about you? Are you running too much on autopilot, or are you always reinventing the wheel? Do you examine the myriad ways in which you troubleshoot your own life every day? Do you imagine others just have the answers in hand, or are you aware that they had to flex their thinking bits? The mind can be a tremendous servant for all our work, so it is a good idea to include its many gifts where we can to help us navigate. So challenge yourself to think through things, and work with the puzzles in your life. Find your own way into the maze, and more importantly find your way through it to the other side.
Peace and Blessings,
Friday, April 20, 2018
I hope your week has treated you well. There has been change in the air. Weather continues to surprise us with seasons coming and going and coming again. I've been blessed to take part in and lead ceremonies this week.
Of late people have been talking about me. They've been saying good things. One thing that has come up several times in the past week is that people have been referring to me as powerful. I always step back from that label. It triggers me to self deprecate. I've issues with power, I prefer to be called effective. The funny thing is the 'power' animal that has been with me longest is one that is all about reclaiming and uncovering personal power.
I've said before that when you are in alignment with your true power you can't harm anyone with it. Reading that statement to myself I am aware that I fear hurting someone with power. So I set limits on myself, which often leads to me being hurt. I think our society confuses power with control. Those that pull strings, manipulate, and frighten are seen as powerful. The truly powerful inspire people towards change without force. The light within them sparks the light within others. They don't control others, they just have an effect on them. (Hence my preference for being referred to as effective). When people have an intense session with me they assume I'm in control, but it is not so. The more powerful a session, the less control I have over it, and I prefer it that way. In shamanism there is the concept of being the hollow bone. Basically you are the pathway the healing moves through not the source of it. The more I get out of the wa,y the more effective I am for those that seek me out. So when people call me powerful part of me rebels because I am not the source of that power.
I got to meet one of the Q'ero healers this past week. It was a great gift. He did several blessings and ceremonies for me. I felt the energy, but the real gift was seeing that he was like me. He was dedicated and effective, but I got to see that I was as effective in my own way. I had taken the teaching of the Q'ero to heart as well as the other pathways I follow, and it had germinated within me. I had access to the same power. So when someone called me powerful this week I replied with, "Anyone can be powerful if they are dedicated."
So why am I telling you this. Well like I said above anyone can be powerful. In fact everyone can be powerful. It just takes dedication. Your power might be in how you provide financially for your loved ones. It might be in how you nourish others with lovingly prepared food. It might be your words that soothe or inspire hearts. Your talents and insights might bring needed change. Your fortitude may be a shield for those that are afraid. Then again it might just be your presence, sometimes just showing up is powerful. As we move forward we need to expand our understanding of what it means to be powerful. We are not all warriors, nor should we all be. So in this time of change, when light and dark spar through our societies, it is important to remember that we can be powerful and effective. It is our mission to cultivate that light we have inside, if we do so the power we need will be provided.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, April 15, 2018
I for once am getting my blog out before the weekend is over. It seems these past few months it has been a struggle to get it done with everything going on. I'm not complaining, for the most part I have been pleasantly occupied and building good foundations to support my future endeavors.
This past week I launched a new service on my site aimed at prosperity. I have had an abundance energy download on my site for a long time which is a good product, but I believe abundance is just half of the equation when it comes to financial success. One of things I've discovered is that abundance is tied to nature, and nature is rife with it. It is the normal state of living things. While scarcity does happen in the cycle, it is temporary and the system of life has so much built into it that if an organism plans well and manages their energies they can thrive. That is where prosperity comes into play. I think of prosperity as what we do with the abundance of the world. It is our interaction pattern which will determine whether we thrive and 'prosper' or if we'll struggle along.
Most of us have gotten a lot of negative ideas about money passed down from our families. Some of us have patterns from old soul agreements laid down in former lives. We also culturally have a dubious relationship with money because of its very visible misuse in our governments and societies. For those of us in the healing arts, we are often shamed for thinking about our work as something that should profit ourselves. One of my shamanic teachers told me that we don't go to the same level of energy to solve a problem, we either go a level down or a level up from it. The energetic blueprint of our finances often has distortions around it at the level of the mind, which recruits energy from our emotional body to reinforce it, which then directs how we see and act upon opportunity. Well to bypass that I came up with a method that addresses our agreements around money and prosperity at the level of the soul.
I accidentally came upon this idea during a client session that had very consistent blocks with money that we couldn't seem to address any other way. Afterwards I thought I should do the process on myself, so I did. Then I spent the next 6 months beta testing it before I put it out on the market. I learned a lot during that time. I was amazed at how people were so different in their approach to wealth. As far as how it showed up for me: I was offered more classes and clients, I became more visible professionally in holding leadership positions, and I became less scared at investing and spending money. I stopped feeling so trapped by money and started using it more effectively. Do I still have limiting thoughts and feel in the space of lack, yes I do, but I also have a contract with Spirit and my own soul about how I want my relationship with money to be. So whenever I choose to do something in alignment with that, it creates more of that energy. So yes I am tooting my own horn here because I am proud of the work I do.
So why am I telling you all this? Well I want everyone to do well. We get locked into thinking patterns and while I don't want people to suppress their thoughts or feelings, I think it is good to check out from spirals that only take you down. At the same time, I don't believe in punishing yourself for not having "manifesting mind patterns". We are all going to have times where we just don't feel the magic and we eat from the table of scarcity economics. I think it is more a sum of our habitual patterns of thought and deed that matter. We have to learn when to risk and when to play it safe. There is no right way to go about a prosperous life because there are no two people exactly alike. I do think that there is a unique way for each of us to find our prosperity, and I'm excited when someone does. It gives us another positive role model when that happens.
So how about you? Do you constantly say no to opportunity out of habit? Do you overlook your own potential? Do you refuse a gift or help when offered? Well maybe you should stop that shit and follow through on your dreams. Maybe you should formulate some ideas and start building towards them. I can shower you with manifesting energy, but you have to actually sprinkle it over the events of your life to make good. I hope you do. I hope you prosper, because when we all do well, we all do well.
Peace and Blessings,
Sunday, April 8, 2018
I hope your week was good and full. You may have been a bit more fortunate and actually have had spring, it's been uncharacteristically absent for me so far this month. I am eager to welcome the warmer times of the year...soon.
These past two weeks I've been getting back to basics with clients. When I officially opened my healing practice eight years ago I was leaning heavily on my shamanic techniques, specifically the mesa. I've kept that as part of my toolkit, but I'd ventured more into quantum tracking and transformational energy healing. Lately the mesa practice has been taking center stage again and I am excited to see where I am with it this time around.
For those of you who are unfamiliar, a mesa is simply a collection of sacred stones wrapped in a cloth. It is a portable altar. When you create a mesa, it is you. It is your heart's fire. So working with the heart is extremely important. I have been working a lot on mine so as the mesa practice becomes more prominent I am noticing things are flowing differently for me.
This week I had some depossession work come to my office. I was helping to remove entities and stray energies out of a person so that they could heal and embody more of their own soul's essence. Well I encountered what I refer to as a Mr. Grumpy Pants. I knew it was one because of the client's reports of terror and then rage. Those are two big indicators of a Mr. Grumpy Pants type of being. In shamanic circles they are often called suffering beings or the suffering ones. In more European cultures they refer to them as something else (I bet you can guess what). Now the reason I call them a Mr. Grumpy Pants (I suppose it could Ms. as well but I've never checked under the hood for that distinction) is that I don't want to attach any extra fear or give them an aura of power that they've not earned. In the Andean tradition there is no good or evil only light and heavy. A Mr. Grumpy pants is an entity that carries a lot of heaviness with it. This is no fun for anyone including them. You see a depossession is not just a healing of the client, but also of the energies that are stowing away in them. The spirits I work with take them away for their own healing and restoration.
I don't know why but this week when I encountered pants with a bit of the grump in them I had a different reaction than in the past. Usually I am very firm and somewhat annoyed. As my client was telling me about their experience I had compassion beaming out of my heart. I pretty much stayed in that space for the whole session. It made everything so much easier. It made taking direction from spirit flow effortlessly. I have had other sessions in the past where tremendous healing has occurred and the common thread in them seems to be that my heart was open and the compassion of Spirit came through and bathed the room in that energy. So while I do believe that learning and perfecting different techniques is important, it is the heart and the compassion that it generates which causes the most profound shifts.
So why am I telling you this? Well I was pretty jazzed up about the session, as was my client. Finding that compassionate space in my heart and allowing my helpers through was as healing for me as it was for the client. We have a lot of cultural ideas built around the idea that love is a struggle. Love is not a battlefield, it is not a fight, it is a space of flow without agenda. Coming into a situation with compassion transforms the nature of the interaction, whether it is with friend or perceived foe. It can be hard to do sometimes, but when you succeed it is very powerful. Power is not always about struggle and overcoming, it can be equally about embracing and aligning.
So how about you? Are you falling into battle rather than falling into love? Do you defuse conflicts with your wild wide open heart? Do you glory in your opponents defeat or do you look for the win win? Do you see emotions and sweetness as weak? If you do remind me to introduce you to the Ocean Mother sometime, so loving, so giving, and yet one of the most powerful forces on the planet. The power of love is not just an inspiration for pop songs, it is the raw power of all life. So drink deeply from the power of life and until next week.
Peace and Blessings,