It's been a week of unfolding possibilities and wild cinematic dreams. I blame the upcoming super moon, or it could be the meditative work I am doing is slowly filtering out through my consciousness. I've been super focused on improving my manifestation ability since I have returned from my big adventure. However I am realizing that there are some underlying issues to address which will lead to a more fundamental life satisfaction.
As I accomplish more of my goals I still find peace and contentment as elusive as ever. The goal of changing my world is a laudable one, but I am becoming aware that my inner world needs the most work. I pretty much feel that the outer world will fall into place once my inner space has been prepped to be supportive. In the past I haven't been very nice to myself. I haven't given myself much credit and have been downright emotionally abusive to my self image.
It has taken years to grasp that it is me that is my own worst enemy. I am my own greatest critic, censor, and bully. It took me this long because of the manifestation principle, "As above so below, as within so without." Basically people in my life stepped into the role of the antagonist. (Some of them gave better performances than others….no encores please). Yet as nasty, cruel and contemptible as some of my supporting cast was, they don't hold a candle to the real bad nasty that has been squatting in my head.
As I have moved through various initiations I have opened to a bit more self love and respect. I know that is a fact because on a whole I have been treated better in the last year than in all previous years. I've experienced more outpouring of appreciation, respect, affection, and business than ever before. What I have noticed is how hard it is for me to take it to heart. It is almost like I am wondering when the shoe is going to drop and someone will leap out and call me a phony selfish little prick. (Hasn't happened except maybe on youtube comment threads and online trolls don't count).
So where to start correcting this? Well I am going to cease and desist all attempts of assassination of the ego. Killing my ego seems a bit violent. Anyone who wishes to continue trying to "help" me kill my ego is on notice that it will be considered an act most vile. The ego, shadow, the subconscious and the soul are all me, and all of them deserve love and respect. That doesn't mean I consider myself to be perfect, but yesterday was the deadline for all complaints. (Oops did I forget to post that)? I'd say I'm perfectly imperfect.
So how does all this apply to you my fine blog buddies? Well how nice are you to yourself? Do you repeat negative statements about your body, personality, or abilities often? How supportive are you of your hopes and dreams? Do you believe that you could even achieve them? Do you even believe you deserve to? Why not ask to see yourself as the Creator does? Let me know what visions arise.
Peace and Blessings,