Sometimes in the midst of the biggest shifts it can look like not much is happening on the surface. In the past month I have scoured the area for office space and have looked at quite a few maybes. I've quietly begun working on my next cycle of pottery. I've also been looking at deep rooted patterns within myself that keep me from stepping into my full power and joy.
The chaos of life seems to still be surrounding me. Currently I have a friend a recovering from a major stroke. Within my immediate family I've had someone suffer a minor stroke this week. Many of my loved ones are struggling hard with personal issues. They have reached a precipice and are struggling to find a way past it.
I have had many people ask how I stay so calm. My secret is that I am most often not calm. I simply appear that way. I feel the fear and anxiety like everybody else (in some cases more so), but I do my best to radiate a calm exterior. The world needs no help from me to freak out. I have found that I can be afraid and yet still do my best to remain in love for the ones I care about. I have learned I don't have to be perfect to provide valuable service to others.
When I designed my Year of Transformation I knew that I would shift along with the participants. I simply didn't realize the breadth of change that would occur within me. My mind still passes through Crazy Town on a regular basis, but it seems as if I don't stop there as long as I used to. For those of you who are waiting to be perfect or more confident to accomplish a life goal or purpose, stop waiting and get moving. If you have a temperament like mine you'll never "feel ready" to tackle the next leg of the journey, but you will be ready despite your own doubts. As an example I will let you know that I always experience a real discomfort when I hear my voice recorded, whether that is an audio file or one of my videos. It grates on me and I can get really self conscious and critical on myself. The interesting thing is that people know me from my videos and my interviews, and so I just have to let that self critical voice go. I still hear it, but after doing enough videos and audio events I am able to accept me...mostly.
So what is the point of this post? It is to let you know that I feel change coming all around me and within me. I feel change coming into the world even though the exterior looks crazy. Part of my job is to help anchor and hold a vision of a world and a life that I wish to help create. Ask yourself what shifts are going on in your world that no one else sees. Give yourself credit for any changes you've made to better yourself or your world. Find that place where you can be afraid, but still touch the vibration of love. Hear your fears but don't listen to them. When you figure all that out let me know, because I will want tips.
Peace and Blessings,
p.s. If you want to hear my latest interview the link is below.