Musings

Musings

Monday, January 27, 2020

How to be a friend



Greetings all,

First post of the year.  I'm still trying to define my new relationship with this blog.   Mostly I am waiting until I have something worthwhile to say, which is honestly not a weekly occurrence.  If I hear myself speaking in loops or having a particularly juicy conversation with someone I may make a mental note to perhaps explore it here.

I had planned to write about the misconceptions of my work, but it seemed a bit self indulgent and whiny.  I scrapped it and decided to write about what it takes to keep a Mooneagle in your life.  I have labored under the impression that I am a difficult person to get along with.  I'd like to say that this is not true, but I know I have my moments.  I am temperamental, and when I finally make up my mind about something I can be pretty inflexible.  I am weird and unlikely to fit in to most crowds or groups.  I couldn't fit in if I tried, and believe me I have tried.

If you still want a Mooneagle like me in your life here's what I need.  The first thing I need is your attention.  As the last born in a family, I can tell you attention is key.  The second thing I need is kindness.  I really can't stress this one enough folks, kindness will get you just about anything.  I remember kindness, I remember cruelty too, but that will get you a different kind of result.  Acceptance is also non-negotiable.  Yes I know I am not perfect (you should hear what my mind chatter says about me....bastard), but the more accepting you are the better I become.  Also I like to be included in things, even if I can't make it, I'm always touched by an invitation.

There are a few things you probably should not do.  Do not consider texting as quality interaction or support.  Texts are for quick check ins and quick questions and answers.  I require actual spoken language.  Do not patronize what I do, it is not a hobby.  I know it is strange and can seem exciting but I am not a magical mascot to be trounced out at parties for amusement.  (Yes this actually has happened).  I am an actual person with actual feelings, and my beliefs about spirit are no more ridiculous than anyone who believes in anything non-physical.  That doesn't mean you have to believe what I believe, just don't be a dick about it.

Why am I telling you this?  Well I read in the last few months from someone online that you shouldn't hang around with folks that make you feel like you are hard to love.  I spent a lot of time in my earlier days with folks like that, foolishly running after folks begging them to love me.  It has made me very insular. So I don't want to do that anymore.  In listing out what I would like out of friends and relationships it gives me permission to see what I want and don't want.  I don't think it is all that much to ask for.

What about you?  Have you ever really listed what you actually need from your relationships? We so often waste time pondering whether we are good enough for someone else, only to fail to wonder if they are bringing anything to the table.  Relationships are work, they take time and care.  We should evaluate them to make sure they are nourishing us as well.   We need to rid ourselves of the belief that we're lucky if anyone deigns to be a part of our life.  We should be grateful for our loved ones, provided that they are in fact loving.  So make your lists, and remember you have something of value to offer others, your time and your heart.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle