Greetings all,
The first stirrings of spring are just around the corner. This time of year if I don't have a lot of definite plans and things to look forward to I tend to go into a dark head space. The days are longer, but the light is thin. Still it is a time of beginnings. Beginnings are tricky things.
Currently I find myself pulled in many directions by competing needs. This year I've started to count my own needs among those that should direct me. There are those that harp on putting yourself first and at times they are right, but all our actions have an effect on others. To not consider how our actions affect the people around us is to cross into self absorption and sociopathy. After that comes the cackling and gingerbread houses. Sooner or later somebody is going to get pushed into an oven, and then the property value in the whole neighborhood drops.
The balance of personal needs and obligations is the crucible for many of us. Often there just isn't enough of us to go around without being drained completely. It can be easy to go to the extreme ends either only looking after yourself and your interests or only taking care of the needs of others. Both of these are recipes for an incomplete life.
I spent years running around after everyone making sure they were alright, never handling my own issues. A few years back, I hit the ultimate end of the spectrum and like a rubber band I snapped back hard to the other extreme. It's not that I don't want to help people, but I am hyper aware of extending myself. It's made me stop offering assistance much, and I do worry that I have gone too far in the cackling direction. It's not easy standing at the fulcrum point. People will push you, beg you, threaten you, or guilt you. This isn't a problem if you are certain of yourself, but how many of us are really secure in ourselves. Most of our programming/culture is centered around us not being good enough.
So how about you? Are you feeling pulled in every direction but your own? Are you indifferent to others, or are you too entangled? We all fall somewhere on this spectrum. If you're a person who is empowered by giving and service well then service away. Do it as long as it feeds your soul. If large acts of service aren't your style then just tend to your interactions with the people around you. There is no right or wrong here, only what is right and wrong for you. You must find your individual balance point between service and self. Try not to compare yourself with others, and just be you. No one else can do it for you.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
Musings
Saturday, January 30, 2016
Friday, January 22, 2016
Silence Falls
Greetings all,
I hope all of you are safe and warm. I sit at home today writing this blog in comfort. I hope all of you are equally provided for. This week has brought 2 winter storms through my area. When the snow falls there is little anyone else around here talks about.
Wednesday morning I knew the snow had come in the night because of the silence. The snow brings the quiet. Like a blanket it covers the world stilling the frenetic pace most of us keep. It brings us into ourselves more deeply as we burrow for warmth and safety. We look at core matters. Can we get home? Do we have food and water? Do we have wood for the fireplace if the power goes out? Are our loved ones safe? While panic may reign on the local stations calling for Snowmageddon, nature quietly blankets the land in a white crystalline dream.
I remember the first time I saw snow. I must have been 3 or 4 years old. I was on a plane somewhere out west on the way to Seattle. On the tarmac I got very excited as large flakes began falling from the sky. I had heard of snow, but living in Florida I had never seen it in person. One of the flight attendants took a cup and went out of the plane and brought me some of the snow to taste. This was of course at a time when people could get on and off the plane. Later that week I had a car picnic in the snow. My mother and father placed a bottle of wine in the cold white bank. The snow was nearly as deep as I was tall. It looked so soft and we had the whole park to ourselves.
There is something about snow that seems to dampen noise. It may be a structural thing, but it seems to create an aura of suppressed sound. There is a hush as if nature is saying, "Shhhhh listen." In the silent space it creates between us and the modern world we get a chance to feel the magic that is present in the seasons and the forces of weather. If we silence ourselves and pay heed, we can almost hear the dreaming thoughts of the trees as they sleep the cold away, napping deep in their roots.
Silence is golden we are told. It is also very difficult to achieve. I catch myself in conversations listening for where my bit comes in. I have lost a lot of the power of silence. In silence we listen more deeply. We notice what has been hidden from us. We see what has been with us all our life, hiding just in the corner of our eye. As the horizon of the external world closes in, it miraculously opens up at the same time. We stretch our senses outward further than when all is clear.
So you may ask why I am going on about the silence of snow? There is a lot of power in silence. There is power in listening without speaking. There is honor in holding our tongues when they would lash out carelessly or with malice. We often speak without thinking of the consequences of our words, or we speak to sound clever or witty. What we don't say can say more about who we are than what we do say. Silence is just as important as our words, more important because without it there would be no words. Between each word is a space. Without pauses we cannot reflect on where we've been and where we're going. Terry Pratchett put it best in one of his Tiffany Aching novels, "If you don't know where you've been, you don't know where you are, and if you don't know where you are you don't where you are going, and if you don't know where you are going, you're probably going wrong."
So how about you? Do you honor the silence, or do you seek to fill it? Do you dread the quiet, or does your heart rejoice in that moment between? Are you as careful about what you don't say as what you do? Try speaking less this week and listening more. Try not speaking for anyone but yourself. Try keeping your opinions and beliefs to yourself unless you are directly asked for them. Notice what may enter into that sacred silence if you make space for it.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
I hope all of you are safe and warm. I sit at home today writing this blog in comfort. I hope all of you are equally provided for. This week has brought 2 winter storms through my area. When the snow falls there is little anyone else around here talks about.
Wednesday morning I knew the snow had come in the night because of the silence. The snow brings the quiet. Like a blanket it covers the world stilling the frenetic pace most of us keep. It brings us into ourselves more deeply as we burrow for warmth and safety. We look at core matters. Can we get home? Do we have food and water? Do we have wood for the fireplace if the power goes out? Are our loved ones safe? While panic may reign on the local stations calling for Snowmageddon, nature quietly blankets the land in a white crystalline dream.
I remember the first time I saw snow. I must have been 3 or 4 years old. I was on a plane somewhere out west on the way to Seattle. On the tarmac I got very excited as large flakes began falling from the sky. I had heard of snow, but living in Florida I had never seen it in person. One of the flight attendants took a cup and went out of the plane and brought me some of the snow to taste. This was of course at a time when people could get on and off the plane. Later that week I had a car picnic in the snow. My mother and father placed a bottle of wine in the cold white bank. The snow was nearly as deep as I was tall. It looked so soft and we had the whole park to ourselves.
There is something about snow that seems to dampen noise. It may be a structural thing, but it seems to create an aura of suppressed sound. There is a hush as if nature is saying, "Shhhhh listen." In the silent space it creates between us and the modern world we get a chance to feel the magic that is present in the seasons and the forces of weather. If we silence ourselves and pay heed, we can almost hear the dreaming thoughts of the trees as they sleep the cold away, napping deep in their roots.
Silence is golden we are told. It is also very difficult to achieve. I catch myself in conversations listening for where my bit comes in. I have lost a lot of the power of silence. In silence we listen more deeply. We notice what has been hidden from us. We see what has been with us all our life, hiding just in the corner of our eye. As the horizon of the external world closes in, it miraculously opens up at the same time. We stretch our senses outward further than when all is clear.
So you may ask why I am going on about the silence of snow? There is a lot of power in silence. There is power in listening without speaking. There is honor in holding our tongues when they would lash out carelessly or with malice. We often speak without thinking of the consequences of our words, or we speak to sound clever or witty. What we don't say can say more about who we are than what we do say. Silence is just as important as our words, more important because without it there would be no words. Between each word is a space. Without pauses we cannot reflect on where we've been and where we're going. Terry Pratchett put it best in one of his Tiffany Aching novels, "If you don't know where you've been, you don't know where you are, and if you don't know where you are you don't where you are going, and if you don't know where you are going, you're probably going wrong."
So how about you? Do you honor the silence, or do you seek to fill it? Do you dread the quiet, or does your heart rejoice in that moment between? Are you as careful about what you don't say as what you do? Try speaking less this week and listening more. Try not speaking for anyone but yourself. Try keeping your opinions and beliefs to yourself unless you are directly asked for them. Notice what may enter into that sacred silence if you make space for it.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
Saturday, January 16, 2016
Street cleaning
Greetings all,
We had our first real taste of winter weather, which wouldn't have been bad if they had treated the roads. Alas I was sliding along on my way in to the store last week. We're all thawed out now, but another storm approaches in a day or so. My horizons shrink so much during the winter, and now with our regional climate changing for icier snowier winters they have shrunk even more. Hemmed in I tend to reach out to those I care for, sometimes too much.
I'm a busybody. It comes with the territory of reading for people. I've peaked in through the windows of people's lives for decades now. That and the fact that I just naturally pick up emotions from people tends to make me interested in what's going on with them. (If only so I can get a little peace myself). So I sometimes take my level of concern about my circle of friends and love ones to extremes. I've been known to meddle in the past or talk out of turn. I am aware of this pattern.
I think I over focus on those around me as a distraction from what I've got going on. I mean it is just so much easier to manage other people's problems. Who has time to deal with your own stuff when you are tackling half a dozen life issues for your social circle. The more over wrought I get about these problems the less attention I pay to my own affairs. Sometimes I get so indifferent to my own stuff that it blows up in my face. I have to come back to the basics and remember before I go worrying about other people's challenges I need to keep my side of the street clean. I've got to handle my own issues, when I don't at best I'm just running from my troubles, and at worst I'm projecting them onto others. I'm looking at their lives through the warped lens of my own un shoveled bull shit.
It is a pattern I seem to fall into again and again, rinse and repeat. These days I'd like to think I come to my senses before it becomes critical. Now there is nothing wrong with taking your mind off your troubles by doing service. You just have to make sure when you do service for others you aren't running away from your own shadow. If you do it will cast a longer and longer one, until it finally catches you at the most inopportune time. (Or opportune from its perspective).
So how about you? Do you lose yourself in lives of others? Are you the eternal counselor to those poor unfortunate souls in you social network? Do you remember to take time to work through some of your own problems? Well if not, don't worry fate shall conspire to create a situation you can't run from. So perhaps you might just want to take a little time to keep your side of the street clean.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
We had our first real taste of winter weather, which wouldn't have been bad if they had treated the roads. Alas I was sliding along on my way in to the store last week. We're all thawed out now, but another storm approaches in a day or so. My horizons shrink so much during the winter, and now with our regional climate changing for icier snowier winters they have shrunk even more. Hemmed in I tend to reach out to those I care for, sometimes too much.
I'm a busybody. It comes with the territory of reading for people. I've peaked in through the windows of people's lives for decades now. That and the fact that I just naturally pick up emotions from people tends to make me interested in what's going on with them. (If only so I can get a little peace myself). So I sometimes take my level of concern about my circle of friends and love ones to extremes. I've been known to meddle in the past or talk out of turn. I am aware of this pattern.
I think I over focus on those around me as a distraction from what I've got going on. I mean it is just so much easier to manage other people's problems. Who has time to deal with your own stuff when you are tackling half a dozen life issues for your social circle. The more over wrought I get about these problems the less attention I pay to my own affairs. Sometimes I get so indifferent to my own stuff that it blows up in my face. I have to come back to the basics and remember before I go worrying about other people's challenges I need to keep my side of the street clean. I've got to handle my own issues, when I don't at best I'm just running from my troubles, and at worst I'm projecting them onto others. I'm looking at their lives through the warped lens of my own un shoveled bull shit.
It is a pattern I seem to fall into again and again, rinse and repeat. These days I'd like to think I come to my senses before it becomes critical. Now there is nothing wrong with taking your mind off your troubles by doing service. You just have to make sure when you do service for others you aren't running away from your own shadow. If you do it will cast a longer and longer one, until it finally catches you at the most inopportune time. (Or opportune from its perspective).
So how about you? Do you lose yourself in lives of others? Are you the eternal counselor to those poor unfortunate souls in you social network? Do you remember to take time to work through some of your own problems? Well if not, don't worry fate shall conspire to create a situation you can't run from. So perhaps you might just want to take a little time to keep your side of the street clean.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
Saturday, January 9, 2016
Untethering
Greetings all,
The first full week of January has passed. We transition out of holiday time and for those of us in the northern hemisphere into the remaining darkness of winter. These next few weeks can be a very challenging time for many. I've heard from friends that many people have just passed away. That is common. Many people strive to hold on during the holidays so as to not spoil them for those they leave behind. We must choose what to leave behind as we enter this new year.
Recently I have been torn about friends, well Facebook friends. I've not always been great at curating my friend list. This is in part because social media is an important component of being in business for myself. I need a wide base and to reach people outside my immediate circle. I have unfriended less people than I can count on my hands. It is not something I do lightly. For me it can feel like a personal failure. I try to accept people as they are even when they disagree with me. I believe it is important that we keep talking to each other and not demonize those who think differently. This is challenging because we have that exact polarizing behavior modeled for us daily in our mass media and politics. News programs can end up looking like sleazy talk shows.
So I tend to keep people around that I have deep disagreements with for the simple reason that I need to be able to see other perspectives. Recently I have been trolled anytime I post something I believe is an important issue. I've debated and tried to use logic only to have my character called into question. I have been chided for not staying in neutrality. The thing is I'm not neutral. I never have been. My alignment status is clearly chaotic good. (Role players will understand that term). Normally I wouldn't even engage, but I have been truly horrified with the ugliness, racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, and corporate propaganda that people post. I've seen people make jokes that all but use the "N" word. Sometimes I actually wish they'd use it so more people would see what they're saying for what it is.
The state of the world is currently ruled by fear and force. People have forgotten their power. Powers have forgotten their people. We are told what to believe, consume, and who to hate. I cannot abide this (again chaotic good). Evil is what happens when good men do nothing. One person asked me why I even bother to post and I told them I wanted other people to see it is not okay to spread hatred and bigotry. I want to empower those that silently disagree to use their voice. I could be more courageous, but I do what I feel able to do in this moment.
So I seldom remove people from my friend list because even if they disagree I believe they need to see that we do and why. When I do remove people it has to do with a fundamental lack of respect shown to me and those I care for. My first post on this blog when I renamed it and starting my weekly missives (or sometimes rants) was entitled "RESPECT" and I meant it. You can disagree and be friends. You can disagree and be respectful. In fact, in order to live with others you have to be able to do that. If you can't well then I am sure there is a cult out there looking for a new mindless follower.
So how about you? Are you letting go of those who haven't learned how to treat others who disagree with them? Do you treat those who don't think the same way as you do with contempt or civility? Are you complacent with those who ridicule you just because they think they are right or better? Do yourself a favor untether and cut the cord. We need diversity in our lives, but we also need diversity that respects each other.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
The first full week of January has passed. We transition out of holiday time and for those of us in the northern hemisphere into the remaining darkness of winter. These next few weeks can be a very challenging time for many. I've heard from friends that many people have just passed away. That is common. Many people strive to hold on during the holidays so as to not spoil them for those they leave behind. We must choose what to leave behind as we enter this new year.
Recently I have been torn about friends, well Facebook friends. I've not always been great at curating my friend list. This is in part because social media is an important component of being in business for myself. I need a wide base and to reach people outside my immediate circle. I have unfriended less people than I can count on my hands. It is not something I do lightly. For me it can feel like a personal failure. I try to accept people as they are even when they disagree with me. I believe it is important that we keep talking to each other and not demonize those who think differently. This is challenging because we have that exact polarizing behavior modeled for us daily in our mass media and politics. News programs can end up looking like sleazy talk shows.
So I tend to keep people around that I have deep disagreements with for the simple reason that I need to be able to see other perspectives. Recently I have been trolled anytime I post something I believe is an important issue. I've debated and tried to use logic only to have my character called into question. I have been chided for not staying in neutrality. The thing is I'm not neutral. I never have been. My alignment status is clearly chaotic good. (Role players will understand that term). Normally I wouldn't even engage, but I have been truly horrified with the ugliness, racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, and corporate propaganda that people post. I've seen people make jokes that all but use the "N" word. Sometimes I actually wish they'd use it so more people would see what they're saying for what it is.
The state of the world is currently ruled by fear and force. People have forgotten their power. Powers have forgotten their people. We are told what to believe, consume, and who to hate. I cannot abide this (again chaotic good). Evil is what happens when good men do nothing. One person asked me why I even bother to post and I told them I wanted other people to see it is not okay to spread hatred and bigotry. I want to empower those that silently disagree to use their voice. I could be more courageous, but I do what I feel able to do in this moment.
So I seldom remove people from my friend list because even if they disagree I believe they need to see that we do and why. When I do remove people it has to do with a fundamental lack of respect shown to me and those I care for. My first post on this blog when I renamed it and starting my weekly missives (or sometimes rants) was entitled "RESPECT" and I meant it. You can disagree and be friends. You can disagree and be respectful. In fact, in order to live with others you have to be able to do that. If you can't well then I am sure there is a cult out there looking for a new mindless follower.
So how about you? Are you letting go of those who haven't learned how to treat others who disagree with them? Do you treat those who don't think the same way as you do with contempt or civility? Are you complacent with those who ridicule you just because they think they are right or better? Do yourself a favor untether and cut the cord. We need diversity in our lives, but we also need diversity that respects each other.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
Sunday, January 3, 2016
That Freshness
Greetings all,
Happy New Year! I'm three years into my great blogging experiment. I think it has gone rather well. I have found my voice. Some of you may wish I had found the mute button instead, but luckily I choose to ignore you.
It is natural to look back on the previous year at this juncture and to also project ahead. I did not get everything I wanted this past year. I did get what I needed though. The process of becoming is not an easy one. It is often uncomfortable. I can tell you from personal experience that you won't find those things you're missing in that comfortable space though.
This past year I made new friends while strengthening old bonds as well. I published a book. I traveled and helped a friend with their business. I did a lot of deep personal work on myself. On the other side of it my work life was in a state of complete upheaval. I had almost no clients the first half of the year. My classes weren't well attended. My finances were under constant strain. Not what I wanted but absolutely what I needed. The extra time provided by fewer clients meant I had time to write and do more expos. When my part time jobs ended within a week of each other it forced me to look for opportunities elsewhere, and I found them. Now I'm teaching in a new space with more students than I've ever had. My readings have taken off again, and my book is starting to sell. I'm still on call for one of my jobs but now I have a level of flexibility with my schedule that I've never had before.
It is all new and fresh, and yes a bit uncomfortable. I don't know what I'm doing yet. I'm in uncharted waters. I don't know what lies deep beneath the waves. It could be sunken treasure, or it could be the Kraken. All I know is that I'm heading in the direction I said I wanted. Even knowing that I have trepidations. In the past, I would have thought that meant that I was maybe not on the right track. Now I see it as almost proof that I am on the right one. When we imagine change, we leave out an important detail...ourselves. There are so many internal changes that accompany any external shift. Actions are only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to change. Underneath all that are the feelings that arise amidst novel situations, and all the thoughts and mental adjustments that have to take place. People talk of resolutions and how many of them fail. I don't think it is so much from action. It is the failure to address all of the mental and emotional chatter that goes on as we take new steps.
So how about you? Are you heading into new territories this year? Ae you staying within the lines on the map or are you sailing off the edges where the words say, "Here there be dragons." What they don't tell you is that those dragons are largely your own fears and self doubts. How much of your insides are you willing to change to see the changes on the outside? It doesn't always have to be drastic sometimes it is only a single thought or belief that has to change. Sometimes it is only a matter of changing the thought, "I don't think I can", into, "I can and I am." Try that fresh thought on for size and let me know how it grows on you.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
Happy New Year! I'm three years into my great blogging experiment. I think it has gone rather well. I have found my voice. Some of you may wish I had found the mute button instead, but luckily I choose to ignore you.
It is natural to look back on the previous year at this juncture and to also project ahead. I did not get everything I wanted this past year. I did get what I needed though. The process of becoming is not an easy one. It is often uncomfortable. I can tell you from personal experience that you won't find those things you're missing in that comfortable space though.
This past year I made new friends while strengthening old bonds as well. I published a book. I traveled and helped a friend with their business. I did a lot of deep personal work on myself. On the other side of it my work life was in a state of complete upheaval. I had almost no clients the first half of the year. My classes weren't well attended. My finances were under constant strain. Not what I wanted but absolutely what I needed. The extra time provided by fewer clients meant I had time to write and do more expos. When my part time jobs ended within a week of each other it forced me to look for opportunities elsewhere, and I found them. Now I'm teaching in a new space with more students than I've ever had. My readings have taken off again, and my book is starting to sell. I'm still on call for one of my jobs but now I have a level of flexibility with my schedule that I've never had before.
It is all new and fresh, and yes a bit uncomfortable. I don't know what I'm doing yet. I'm in uncharted waters. I don't know what lies deep beneath the waves. It could be sunken treasure, or it could be the Kraken. All I know is that I'm heading in the direction I said I wanted. Even knowing that I have trepidations. In the past, I would have thought that meant that I was maybe not on the right track. Now I see it as almost proof that I am on the right one. When we imagine change, we leave out an important detail...ourselves. There are so many internal changes that accompany any external shift. Actions are only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to change. Underneath all that are the feelings that arise amidst novel situations, and all the thoughts and mental adjustments that have to take place. People talk of resolutions and how many of them fail. I don't think it is so much from action. It is the failure to address all of the mental and emotional chatter that goes on as we take new steps.
So how about you? Are you heading into new territories this year? Ae you staying within the lines on the map or are you sailing off the edges where the words say, "Here there be dragons." What they don't tell you is that those dragons are largely your own fears and self doubts. How much of your insides are you willing to change to see the changes on the outside? It doesn't always have to be drastic sometimes it is only a single thought or belief that has to change. Sometimes it is only a matter of changing the thought, "I don't think I can", into, "I can and I am." Try that fresh thought on for size and let me know how it grows on you.
Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle
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