I hope you've have a good week. I have been doing better weathering the storm of extreme energy tides. This is due in great part to the wonderful people who offered support and prayers to help me find my footing.
Illusions surround us every moment of the day. For the most part we go about our lives without seeing the chaotic swirls that surround our every action. We as bipedal creatures come very close to falling with every single step we take. We have literally trillions of chemical reactions taking place within our bodies on a daily basis which all must be perfectly timed and in harmony with each other to keep us alive. For those of us lucky enough to own homes, we trust that the earth beneath us is stable and the winds of the world will blow gently. All that we depend upon can be overturned in moments by the forces of nature or the chaotic forces within our own species.
Most of us ignore this fact. We carry some insurance to shore up the imbalances of fate and circumstance. I have been lucky. I am not lucky due to any superior ability with cards or dice. Fortune doesn't shower me with gold from the heavens. I am lucky for the most part because of what I haven't had happen. I was born into a middle class family in a country that is not in a war zone. I have never gone hungry. I have not been subject to constant violence. I have been only a few car accidents and none of those were injury accidents (to which I am continually grateful to my legion of traffic angels). I have a space to lay my head. No one tried to abuse me as a child growing up, and my parents are still a couple after several decades of marriage.
As I become older and hopefully wiser, I can see just how lucky I have been. When I was seriously ill years ago I had the support of family and at the time really good health insurance. As I see more people in my practice I realize just how fragile the weave of our lives can be. A simple accident or meeting the wrong person at the wrong time can shake us to our core. People currently look at me now and think just how strong and sure I seem. I'm really not. I am acutely aware that everything I have built in the past decade is a castle built on sand. The tides could turn at any moment or the earth could shake and all I have built will be just a memory.
When the energies I feel around myself and the world at large start to buck and rock I too am afraid. I like many Americans have probably less than stellar health insurance, even a minor accident or issue could cause immense destruction in my life and the life of my family. I rely on the blessings that I have received to continue living and building a better life. The sands could shift though and I just have to trust that the universe will take care of me. Trust is not something that comes easy to me. It is hard for me to open up to others and trust them, or to trust that things will work out alright. You'd think I would have a different perspective given that my holistic practices are focused on bringing in support for others. Still I have that trust gap when it comes to my own needs and my own life. It is something I must grow into, because I am truly in the hands of Fate every hour of every day.
So why do I bring this up? Well the energies of late have stirred a lot of this primal shadow energy up from the depths, not just for myself but for all of us. Many of us are feeling very vulnerable right now, especially those of us that practice some form of awareness expansion. Enlightenment is not for wimps. It will shake you until you surrender. It will sometimes make you wish you had pushed the snooze alarm on the cosmic wake up call. For mine is not the only castle built of sand. We are all on the shore and the tides of life are coming in. One day we will be swept out to the great sea into the beyond. Until that time though we must build our little castles and be grateful for them. As I have watched the sands of life run out for various loved ones this year, I have felt the bittersweetness of the world. We are here together and by some miracle we find each other and weave lives all the while knowing that each thread we weave together will one day be ripped from our looms. It takes great courage to continue our work and our lives. So for today I will be grateful for what remains to me. I will work to make my castle wonderful and inviting until the day the surf comes to take it back into the sea. So for those of you who have watched the castles of your life fall as the sand shifts beneath it, I offer you my love. That is the only thing that is not sand in this life. Love endures beyond all form and even its memory continues to move through us into the world. Honor what you have, and honor those you love. In another time and another place we may yet sit together building castles of dreams without fear.
Peace and Blessings,