Happy fall to all my friends in the Northern hemisphere. We've had a lot of turbulent energy in the past few weeks and many of us have felt it. The equinoxes are gateways in the year from one season to another. They are also balance points so I am hoping that we will begin to reorient and ground ourselves in the season to come.
I had been feeling under the weather this week, but as Spirit promised me in the early summer things have picked up quite a bit for my healing practise. Fate, with her sense of humor, timed it for when I was feeling at my lowest energy wise. This could have been cruel if looked at in one light, but I choose to see it differently. I have been repeatedly told when I worry about not being good enough for the work I do that I need to remember that I'm not the one doing it. I am the one allowing it to come through. My job is to honor my spiritual obligations, prepare my own energies, and keep the space as well as follow directions. This week that is all I had energy to do. If I had tried to "run" the sessions I wouldn't have been able to. My healing sessions this week have been just as powerful (if not more so) then when I have been at full strength. I think this was to reinforce to me that this is not about personal power and never has been. This is all about maintaining relationship with Spirit. I am not the planner of sessions, I'm not even the doer, I am merely the facilitator. I assist and respond to people's questions and concerns.
None of this was clearer than in Thursday's autumnal equinox drumming ceremony. I had been fighting off getting sick with only a partially successful effort. Still I teach and swim on Thursdays. After my professional and physical training obligations were met I didn't know that I had it to drum. Still I had a commitment to Spirit that must be honored as well. So I knew even if it wasn't vigorous drumming I would show up for it. Once again the power of showing up to honor a promise was demonstrated. I called a good friend and we met at a local park where I have drummed a few times. We set up the space and slowly began to drum. As I sent out the prayers for those on my Mesa prayer list and my Year of Transformation participants, I also asked for healing of my own heart and opening more into the vibration of love. It was after that when I looked down and noticed for the first time the chalk art that children had left all around the covered pavilion where we had set up.
Again this was completely unplanned. I had felt so inadequate because I hadn't scheduled everything out nor had I set a place for the drumming ahead of the day. Yet clearly I ended up in the exact space I was supposed to be in. Sometimes I think Fate and Coyote make wagers on me. In this case I'm not sure who won, but I feel like I got the better of the deal. If this were the end of the story we could just call it coincidence, but wait there is indeed more. I had started the day teaching my Tai Chi class outside. During the class a beautiful Monarch butterfly fluttered past towards the west. As we began the drum ceremony (across town mind you) a Monarch once again flew past headed into the west. West just happens to be the direction of autumn on the medicine wheel. I also had an encounter with a cricket who had perched upon my gym bag that morning and I took that as a lucky sign. Still for the skeptics out there I have the final nail in the coffin for doubt. Earlier in the week someone shared with me an article on this equinox, it was about the Goddess Kali. She is a fierce deity that can shake you to your core. Having felt like I had been shaken past my core the past few months I was not happy. I actually asked maybe she could do her work this time with love maybe even enjoyably. Well my doubters check this out.
That's right she was there in chalk in the circle. I didn't notice until after we began. Take that myth busters! Notice that the I is dotted with a heart. I asked for that two days before. BLAM! So despite having zero energy and feeling like I was going to collapse going into ceremony we drummed for a good twenty minutes at least. It wasn't all just a slow beat either. The tempo increased on its own and by the end I was dancing. There might just be something to all this magic stuff.
So at this place and time of power what doubts do you still hold? What do you not believe you can achieve or receive? Are you afraid to ask for what you need? Why not ask anyways the worst that can happen is that you are refused. However if you don't ask you will never get it. I admit I was shuffled around by Fate this week, and I am kind of glad. I couldn't have planned it better if I had tried. So try asking and trusting a bit just for a little while you can always try something else later. In the meantime welcome to the next quarter of the year. I hope that it will bring your heart what you truly need.
Peace and Blessings,