My last two posts have been very raw emotionally. Sorry if it is too heavy, but I try to write honestly. Being on a spiritual path is not all shining beings of limitless light, and universal love blissing out of your pores everyday. Most days are filled with a lot of the same things that everyone deals with, the only difference is the context in which you place those experiences.
The stories of our lives have chapters. We have our childhood, adolescence, first love, first heartbreak, first death, and our setting off into the world chapter. I have been called the king of run on sentences before, and some of my chapters could be said to run on as well. The last three years has been the closing of several long chapters of my life. Now it is time for the new one.
New chapters are tricky. That blank white page is full of promise and peril both. It's exciting and nerve wracking. Things will not be as before and there isn't yet enough prose to let us know the shape this chapter may take. My roads never travel in straight lines, or at least they haven't yet. I've always been one to take the meandering path, sometimes circling around a goal for quite a while before realizing it. Sometimes never realizing it at all but rather being called off on some other wild adventure. I've watched many people over the years just set off on a path and go right for their goal. It still amazes me. I don't know if it is something inborn, is Fate somehow involved? If so then it would explain a lot. I've got a fate lined burned into both palms quite deeply. This is both good and bad. Bad if you would like to take the direct path, good if you get cornered but Fate has plans for you still. (GET AWAY FROM HIM YOU BITCH!!!) Extra points if you can place that reference
So here I am. I'm no longer part of business partnership. I'm no longer just an assistant. I'm barely working retail these days. This chapter seems to be all about me stepping into my path of power. It is exciting because it is what I've wanted for years. It is scary because it is just me. There is the blank page taunting me to fill it with my stuff rather than side quests and ride alongs. I loved the ride alongs and helping out others, even some of the side quests were fun, but now that chapter's done. Right now I'm feeling rather ambivalent about the whole thing. Tomorrow I go for my first big book signing following a lecture at the largest psychic expo in the region. I should be stoked, and I am, but I am also sad about the turning of the page and the ending of the previous chapter.
So how about you? What chapters in your life are ending that you are still holding onto and rereading? What is the theme for the chapter in progress? Are you excited or afraid of the words coming out in the story of your life? Maybe it is okay to be a little of both. Are you a straight shooter, or do you swerve as you come in for a landing? Do you judge yourself for having a different story from your family, friends, or society at large. TV and movies don't count they are lies I tell you LIES! It might be time to turn the page, and choose consciously where your story will take you next.
Peace and Blessings,