This week brought us a very powerful new moon. With strong energies flying about they can surface in unexpected ways. For me when an energy is not expressed or a connection is not quite made it will often play out in my dreams. While I have had a few predictive dreams in my life (as many of us do) that is not my true gift with dreams. The true value my dreams provide, is that they often tell me what is going on right now behind the scenes and facades of my conscious world. This is far more valuable to me than prophetic dreams. It is a symbolic understanding of the now.
Occasionally I am thrown something in a dream that puts me off for a bit. Nightmares used to be much more frequent for me than they are now. I might get a few a month. These days it might be a handful a year, but when they happen oh boy do they pack a punch. I should point out that most of my nightmares don't have monsters or serial killers. (Monsters are afraid of me). I do have those dreams too, but those are more like watching a movie. Often what is the most disturbing doesn't sound like much, and on the surface of the narrative it isn't. It is the feelings that come through that are so intense, either of great sadness or of sheer terror. When I wake from these, telling myself it's only a dream is not an effective coping strategy because on some level I know that they are very real.
Let me paint you a picture. It is daytime I am walking following a car into an underground parking garage. The tunnel in seems to be absurdly long. When I get to the parking structure it is unlit. It is very deep under the ground. It is dark. Not shadowy, but dark, I mean absolute blackness. The thought hits me as I turn that I could be lost in here and never find my way out. I sense there is something there with me, watching me. This darkness is not the mere absence of light but a presence of its own, a weight, a malevolence luring me in to fall upon me and suffocate me. I turn and try to find my way back. After a short time I do manage to find a passage back, but it is almost a dead end with an opening too small for me to fit through. I finally wedge myself out to where there is light, which stops at the threshold; it does not filter in. The little grate that I am trying to escape from won't let go and there is a feeling that the dark wants me.
I'm going to skip ahead. I got out. I woke up shortly after in a state of terror. I turned the lights on and read before I felt I could go back to sleep. On reflection, the events of the dream don't seem that scary, but the feelings of imminent danger and being preyed upon were intensely strong. The shaky feeling stayed with me throughout the day and I even sobbed uncontrollably after my meditation. So at the dark moon I dreamed of the creeping dark, the malice that waits for us to step into its lair. Oddly enough I'd had a week of accomplishment. I'd started teaching again and I was on the cusp of getting my print edition of my book proofed and ordered. I don't necessarily hold darkness as evil either, I even have a guide that is made up of darkness (who is very good and helpful if a bit intense).
As I delve deeper into myself and work to heal deeper wounds I am coming into a depth of self that has been burrowed away to protect itself. This abject terror was within me and needed a way out. I have since journeyed on this dream and gotten some answers and healing. The day after I began a concerted effort of cleaning out my living space of clutter. So I think this dream brought about some clearing just not in a very enjoyable way. People can sometimes mistake inner work for all play and self indulging in one's fantasies. While there are times when play and fun self discovery are the methods, more often than not the work is hard emotionally and can put us in a state of great vulnerability. This inner work stuff is not for faint of heart.
Speaking of self indulgence, I need to bring this back to you. I mean you don't care about my dreams. So how about you? Have your dreams given you any clues as to what's going on beneath the surface? Do you run from your nightmares trying to forget them, or do you mine them for meaning and direction? Do you descend into the depths or seek only the light fluffy thoughts? What old pattern is calling you into the dark whispering its fear into your bones? Can you seek it out by the light of day, or will you meet it by night astride a mare of dark dreams?
Peace and Blessings,