Sunday, July 5, 2015

Step Forward Step Back

Greetings all,

This week has been packed with activity.  I will be doing 8 shows from August until November so the traveling will begin soon.  My book is in my proofreaders' hands right now.  I had to upgrade my phone so everything is change.

So my next few months have taken on a whole new plan.  This week I have found myself not wanting to do too much.  I've had a few very intense client sessions, but other than that I haven't pressed ahead with any of my other projects.  I guess that is sort of typical after any big project or change I like to have a little breathing space to just be.  It is in this empty space where new ideas seem to spring up.  I need a bit of time to ponder and dream up what I want to play with next.

I try to go some place new each year and from the looks of things I have about 5 new places in my near future.  So the pace has quickened and I'm playing catch up.  There is much to be excited about with my upcoming book and public talks. Still in the midst of this I am planning on upgrading my skills taking classes locally.

I do apologize faithful readers.  (Yes believe it or not there are people who regularly consume my words). I've not meant this blog to be a gab fest about all the things I'm doing.  It is supposed to be about what I am experiencing on a deeper level and my observations about that. I always try and tie it back to something maybe you can learn from.  I mean someone ought to benefit from the trials I put myself through. Lately I have been seeing so much on the surface of my world change and looking at how I struggle to keep up with it.  We all say we want change and then we have to change to allow it into our lives.  It isn't always the most comfortable path.

I was talking with a fellow traveler on the shamanic byways in the past few months and they told me about how uncomfortable certain aspects of the training was for them.  My response was to let them know they should get used to it.  Shamanic training is not meant to be easy although sometimes it can still be fun amidst the discomfort.  We all encounter the new some of us take to it more easily than others.  As children it is easier for us to embrace new adventures.  We even look forward to them.  Temperament does play a significant role in how much change we think we can handle, but often unless we challenge ourselves we can stagnate.  It is when routine has firmly encrusted our lives that we most fear change, it is also when we most need it.

Lately I feel as if I'm up to bat next.  Considering my abysmal athletic ability as a child this not a nice warm and fuzzy feeling for me.  It is basically performance anxiety.  I've been looking for my time and space to shine and here it is upon me and now I don't feel ready.  This is of course hogwash I've been preparing for ages for all these things.  I am the last thing standing in my way, or was I the first thing?

So now let me ask you something.  Are you pulling back from finish line right at the end of the marathon? Have you been putting all your efforts forward until they begin to pay off?  Are you rearing to go until they start calling for boarding passes?  Well my dears you're in good company.  I suggest you take a step back from your reaction to see the larger story playing out.  You are taking on new roles  and adventures this is all just a little page turning anxiety in the book of life.  Take heart fire up your courage and walk tall into the sunset of your accomplishments.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

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