Musings

Musings

Sunday, December 27, 2015

Reflection

Greetings all,

It's here at last the final post of the year.  It's been close at times but there was a post out every week.   I wish they were all top notch, but when you write on a schedule inspiration is sometimes lacking.  The upside is you write often enough that it keeps your mental gears greased so when ideas do strike they are easier to present.  It also gets you to look at your life differently.

I had a blog for several years prior to my weekly posting ritual.  I was lucky if I posted more than once a season.  At that time it was mostly an update to let people know what I was doing in relation to the retreat center I was a part of with a friend of mine.  After we parted ways under less than cordial circumstances I was adrift for a while.  I renamed the blog and I made the commitment to write a post a week.  Looking back it was probably the healthiest thing I could do.  I got a lot of my emotions worked out in writing.  I continue to do so.  It helps me order my thoughts and get clear in my mind where I've been and where I'm heading.  The structure that the blog provided was perfect and continues to serve me as a mirror for me to see my own inner workings.  Of course, sometimes it is a rant fest, and that's alright too.

Reflection these days seems like a dying art.  Selfies do not count.  Reflection takes quiet time alone with few distractions or amusements.  With our phones, computers, and televisions everywhere it can be hard to unplug.  I've caught myself texting people when I have a spare moment.  Filling the void of time with conversation that really could have waited.  It's almost like we're afraid of having time completely to ourselves.  We have become a society of sound bites and memes.  I remember the time before cell phones and broadband.  I remember great stretches of time alone.  I did a lot more meditating in those days.  To be fair I didn't have much else to do.  I might have only had one or two friends and they lived beyond my means to get together with more than a few times a year.  I was bored and sad, but I used the time to hone my metaphysical skills.  These days I am never bored, but I have to make myself cut out time to just be alone.  I find airplane mode on my phone helps.

So why is reflection so important?  Without it we are blind to what drives us, why something gets on our last nerve.  We find out not only what is going on in our heads, but often we can even put a good estimate together about what is going on in the skull cavities of others.  We start to see the same driving factors in the people around us.  We are not so different.  We all wish to be safe, belong, and have a deeper meaning to our lives.  What separates us often is the misunderstanding of those motivating factors.  We incorrectly assume that people's behaviors are about us, when really they are all about them and the scars they carry.  Reflection allows us to see them more clearly just as we see ourselves.

Back to you guys though.  Do you take the time to sit quietly when there is little going on or do you grab your phone?  Do you sit back and listen to the winds and rain, or do you scroll your day away on social media?  Do you take the time to find the mirror of your  mind and heart, or do you lose yourself in the glitz and glamour of entertainment?  I'm not saying there isn't room for entertainment and frivolities, but there should be just as much room for reflection.  How would your life change if you saw yourself more clearly?  Would you find the mirror to be comforting or more like a funhouse mirror?  What happens if you see beyond that reflection to the truth behind the masks of self we wear? Try it out and let me know about it in the new year.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Sunday, December 20, 2015

Cookies of Christmas Past

Greetings all,

I hope you are having a happy holiday season so far.  The next two weeks we'll all be kicked into high gear with Christmas and New Years.  These are both the most anticipated and dreaded holidays.  They lift our hearts or weigh them down.  At times in our life it will be both.

Holidays are great stirrers of memory for us.  In every tradition there are certain holidays where families come together and share with one another.  Some of us are touched most deeply by the bright decorations and lights we string up in the dark of the year.  Some of us are grabbed by the music of carols and chants.  Some love the giving and receiving of gifts (some even relish the shopping).  Some of us look forward to the sweet temptations of the table.

What stirs my memory is the baking, and the tins and tins of Christmas cookies.  In our house an abundance of cookies was a great rarity.  I remember helping to decorate cream cheese cookies and almond cookies in the shapes of wreaths and trees with colored sprinkles.  I of course remember gifts as a child, but as I got older there were fewer things that I really wanted, and it is the taste of the holidays that most brings me back to the feelings of being a child at the holidays.

As family members have moved away, or passed beyond the veil, though our celebrations grow smaller.  In many respects it just isn't feasible to make so many of the holiday treats for a shrinking circle.  So the feasts have become smaller, and now with everyone's busy schedules it takes a supreme effort to get together to make our cookies.  This year we are forgoing some of my favorites.  It can be hard because as we let go of more of our dishes it feels less and less like the holidays of days past.  Although bittersweet perhaps it is for the best.  If we hang on too tightly to the experiences of the past we miss the joys that are around us in the present.  We forget to appreciate what we have.  You will only have so many cookies in your lifetime, and only so many holidays with relatives before they too are lost either by time, distance, or estrangement.  As we grow in our lives sometimes sadly we grow apart.

Don't be such a downer Mooneagle you might be thinking.  I do have a point I swear.  We must learn to let go of some parts of our traditions or we become slaves to them.  Is there something this season that you are forcing yourself to do only because you've done it in all the years past?  We can be so afraid of letting others down especially this time of year that we spend more time stressing over the holidays than actually enjoying it with our loved ones.  We are supposed to gather in love in fellowship in the dark of the year.  We don't have to follow the exact same route each year.  If we do, we leave the hearts we had as children in the past.  The holidays really aren't about getting everything you want whether at the table or under the tree.  They are about coming together and appreciating the people around the table.  Try to remember that this year.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Monday, December 14, 2015

Whispers in the Dark

Greetings all,

This week brought us a very powerful new moon.  With strong energies flying about they can surface in unexpected ways.  For me when an energy is not expressed or a connection is not quite made it will often play out in my dreams.  While I have had a few predictive dreams in my life (as many of us do) that is not my true gift with dreams.  The true value my dreams provide, is that they often tell me what is going on right now behind the scenes and facades of my conscious world.  This is far more valuable to me than prophetic dreams.  It is a symbolic understanding of the now.

Occasionally I am thrown something in a dream that puts me off for a bit.  Nightmares used to be much more frequent for me than they are now.  I might get a few a month.  These days it might be a handful a year, but when they happen oh boy do they pack a punch.  I should point out that most of my nightmares don't have monsters or serial killers.  (Monsters are afraid of me). I do have those dreams too, but those are more like watching a movie.  Often what is the most disturbing doesn't sound like much, and on the surface of the narrative it isn't.  It is the feelings that come through that are so intense, either of great sadness or of sheer terror.  When I wake from these, telling myself it's only a dream is not an effective coping strategy because on some level I know that they are very real.

Let me paint you a picture.  It is daytime I am walking following a car into an underground parking garage.  The tunnel in seems to be absurdly long.  When I get to the parking structure it is unlit.  It is very deep under the ground.  It is dark.  Not shadowy, but dark, I mean absolute blackness.  The thought hits me as I turn that I could be lost in here and never find my way out.  I sense there is something there with me, watching me.  This darkness is not the mere absence of light but a presence of its own, a weight, a malevolence luring me in to fall upon me and suffocate me.  I turn and try to find my way back.  After a short time I do manage to find a passage back, but it is almost a dead end with an opening too small for me to fit through.  I finally wedge myself out to where there is light, which stops at the threshold; it does not filter in.  The little grate that I am trying to escape from won't let go and there is a feeling that the dark wants me.

I'm going to skip ahead.  I got out.  I woke up shortly after in a state of terror.  I turned the lights on and read before I felt I could go back to sleep.  On reflection, the events of the dream don't seem that scary, but the feelings of imminent danger and being preyed upon were intensely strong.  The shaky feeling stayed with me throughout the day and I even sobbed uncontrollably after my meditation.  So at the dark moon I dreamed of the creeping dark, the malice that waits for us to step into its lair.  Oddly enough I'd had a week of accomplishment.  I'd started teaching again and I was on the cusp of getting my print edition of my book proofed and ordered.  I don't necessarily hold darkness as evil either, I even have a guide that is made up of darkness (who is very good and helpful if a bit intense).

As I delve deeper into myself and work to heal deeper wounds I am coming into a depth of self that has been burrowed away to protect itself. This abject terror was within me and needed a way out.  I have since journeyed on this dream and gotten some answers and healing. The day after I began a concerted effort of cleaning out my living space of clutter.  So I think this dream brought about some clearing just not in a very enjoyable way.  People can sometimes mistake inner work for all play and self indulging in one's fantasies.  While there are times when play and fun self discovery are the methods, more often than not the work is hard emotionally and can put us in a state of great vulnerability.  This inner work stuff is not for faint of heart.

Speaking of self indulgence, I need to bring this back to you.  I mean you don't care about my dreams.  So how about you?  Have your dreams given you any clues as to what's going on beneath the surface? Do you run from your nightmares trying to forget them, or do you mine them for meaning and direction?  Do you descend into the depths or seek only the light fluffy thoughts?  What old pattern is calling you into the dark whispering its fear into your bones?  Can you seek it out by the light of day, or will you meet it by night astride a mare of dark dreams?

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Sunday, December 6, 2015

Spirit Tech

Greetings all,

This week has been full of ups and downs.  The height of exhilaration and joy as well as the depths of sorrow and disgust has visited with me.  The nature of life's pendulum seems to take you from one to the other fairly quickly if you're not enlightened.  I am not enlightened, not even close.  The way I see it there is plenty of time in the universe for me to take that road.  This life I'm taking the long way round.

Many of you have been following along with the news out of California this week.  I've seen quite hateful posts back and forth on the topics of gun control and religious extremism.  So I'm going to talk about religion.  It is one of the oldest technologies we possess.  There is no way of knowing exactly how old it is, but it is probably at least as old as our use of fire.  

Now some of you out there would argue that religion is not a technology it is one of the humanities.  I beg to differ.  Technology is our use of knowledge to create change in our world.  I would say religion fits into that category quite well.  It shapes our societies, it underpins many of our older legal traditions, and it organizes our relationships.  Religion is at its heart a story, or an explanation of the way the world works.  It usually seeks to explain the hidden causes behind the events of life.  In some best case scenarios it tries to make the world into a kinder gentler place to be.  In its worst case scenarios it seeks to exterminate all life that is not under the control of its dogma.

Right now religion is taking a bad rap, and quite deservedly so.  It was originally a servant of man, a tool of understanding.  It has in the past helped to create hospitals, cared for the poor and abandoned, and even inspired people to persevere under the most profound challenges to rise again.  It can help comfort the grieving and uplift those that have fallen into despair.  These days it is often used to push a political or commercial agenda.  I'm not singling out one religion either.  Although we hear much about Islamic terrorists, there are certainly Christian terrorists too.  There are even Buddhist terrorists in Myanmar.  This is what happens when we let ego entangle its limitedness into the fabric of faith in an infinite Authority.

So what do we do?  I would say untether the spiritual practices from figures of authority whether they be human or in spirit.  Throw out that which does not serve the individual and the community equally.  Religion is made up of compelling stories.  Perhaps it is time we look at those stories in a more critical light.  I don't mean we should be examining them for literal truths.  I believe that way is its own madness. We should be looking at the metaphorical truths.  What does this story tell us about ourselves?  Is it useful?  Does it create more good in the world without adding to the tragedies of life? What do our spiritual texts imply about how we treat each other and our world?

This is a radical act.  This will make you a pariah in traditional belief zones.  Now I don't mean for you to go out there and ridicule the traditions either.  They serve a purpose or they wouldn't have lasted.  What we need is more understanding, not of the should and the should nots, but the why we should or shouldn't.  People forget that societies and conditions change.  Words on a page do not.  The world is change and yet we continue to try and fit God into an unchanging box bound in leather with gold leafed pages.   If you value your holy book more than people odds are you are using your religion for your own ends and not the ends of your professed deity of choice.

So where on the spectrum are you?  What do you value: actions, words, faith, or people?  Think long and hard about what you really think is important.  Try to see the people and why they do what they do and why they believe.  This is important.  It is easy to see the other in people it is much harder for us to see ourselves.  The tragedy of life is that the darkness calls to us all.  The beauty of life is that so does the light.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle


Sunday, November 29, 2015

Giving Thanks

Greetings all,

During my childhood, Christmas was my favorite holiday, followed closely by Halloween.  Thanksgiving didn't really register as much of a holiday until I was a bit older.  By then my family was spread out over a larger geographic region, and it was usually the only time when we were really together.  So it actually became my favorite.  There was no rush to buy presents and put out decorations, just cooking, eating and spending time in good company.

It has been widely publicized in the last decade that gratitude is one of the strongest ways to promote happiness and manifestation.  As I was told by a guide of mine, the best way to navigate change is with gratitude and thankfulness.  It really helps transform the energy even when we are afraid or uncertain.  I am sure that I fall very short of the mark on gratitude.  It is a practice just like tai chi or yoga, and so I am not going to beat myself up about it.  I will simply work on my practice of being thankful.

My exposure to other practitioners in different disciplines this year has had a very beneficial impact on my own path.  I see similarities beyond the superficiality of ceremonies and rituals to the pure energy of the intent.  It has changed my own practice bringing it deeper in alignment with the purpose behind it.  In no other practice is this more apparent than my Friday prayer ceremony.

To those of you who don't know, I pray using my mesa and a rattle every Friday.  Rain or shine, sick or well, tired or energized, the prayers go out.  It was originally inspired by the Blessing Way of the Navajo (thanks Malinda).  It is not the Blessing Way, it is the Mooneagle's Rite.  I wanted to make a commitment with Spirit and help others as well.  So I began a few years ago each Friday and it is a commitment I have honored and never missed.  My list of those I pray for has grown to about 70 people and their families.  This past year I changed how I began my prayers.  Now before I send out the prayer focus I begin with thanking all the spirits that help me.  I start with the Creator and work down.  That alone can take 15 minutes or more.  I have a lot of help.  This has really deepened the ceremony and added to its power.

When we give thanks to those that help us we complete a circuit of energy.  We allow the gift to be fully expressed.  We in some ways mirror the giver.  This can be forgotten amidst turkey, football games, and old family grudges.  The importance of honoring all those that are part of our journey cannot be overstated.  Each week I dive into that, and it is empowering.  Now the challenge is to in some smaller way make that part of my everyday practice.

How about you?  Are you honoring the good around you?  Are you placing your thoughts in a loving way on those who have helped you? Do you count your blessings or your misfortunes?  I'll tell you a secret.  The more you count one the more that tally increases.  Choose wisely the list you wish to enumerate.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

An Agent of Chaos

Greetings all,

Well what a week!  I'd been mostly insulated from the news last weekend as I was on the road working an expo.  When I got back to my friend's place early in the week I finally had time to see the news of what transpired in Paris.

It is very distressing to see the level of violence and carnage that some people are willing to inflict on others in their lust for temporal power.  The desire to rule and control others is not a spiritual goal it's an ego power play.  However I was even more disgusted that in the wake of this tragedy people were turning a cold shoulder to refugees and the hateful fear filled comment that flooded social media.

So I have been a busy little bee posting my actual opinions on Facebook.  People have been caught off guard as I usually try to be a little less controversial online.  I haven't been pulling punches.  I have stirred things up.  I have been an agent of chaos.  Hopefully it's been chaos on the side of good.  I get too comfortable in my opinions like anyone else, and they need stirring up from time to time.  If I'm honest it is a bit scary.  I've opened myself up to all sorts of personal attacks.  Coyote told me I'd upset the powers, well maybe the powers need to be upset, maybe we all do.

How about yourself?  Are you making waves?  Are you rocking the boat?  If you are then don't get too discouraged.  Those that rock the boat, that question society often do it to make a better world.  If not us then who?  So be bold.  Be the chaos of life, because stagnation is death.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle


Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Identity Theft

Greetings all,

Once more I take to wing and the road is calling my name.  If change was a road it would be a superhighway for me right now.

So the past few months have seen an incredible amount of shifting for myself.  Apart from all the travel and expos most of the underpinnings that make up the fabric of my life have completely changed their hue.  I will start out by saying this really is all my doing.  (Well mostly my doing, Fate threw her ante into the pot as well).  I've been tackling deeper issues with clients, drawing people with a greater need for healing than I ever have before.  I've published an ebook which is soon to be a print book as well.  I lost both my part time jobs within a week of each other.  I cofounded a new group of holistic practitioners all focused on removing inner blocks to our own personal development and healing.  You could say I've been a busy little bee.

I have this theory that the difficulty in creating a change is directly tied to how much we link whatever belief, role, or circumstance that we are trying to change with how much our identity is intertwined with it.  For example, in my tai chi practice I run across people all the time that claim they've always been clumsy.  Now some people show a greater improvement when they practice tai chi than others, but those people who repeatedly insist on their own clumsy nature have a harder time learning the forms and improving their overall balance.  They have defined their physical identity as someone who is clumsy, and until they decide that is not who they are, there is little that can be done to change that reality.

Now where it gets weirder is when you involve more "magical" methods of change.  Some of the approaches I use bypass the mind entirely going for an overall pattern change.  If the pattern is accepted there is often an accompanying period of adjustment for the client.  Sometimes they even experience non localized anxiety.  This is due to one of the core ideas of their psyche being shifted or in some cases removed entirely.  This causes every linked layer of self identification to have to reorder itself.  The feeling of not knowing who you are anymore is very disorientating and uncomfortable.  I have worked with shamanic methods where entities have been removed that have been with a person for decades.  After a consciousness has been within us for so long it's removal can cause an identity crisis, as the person doesn't really know themselves without that entity's influence.

Who we think we are and what we identify with has a profound impact on our lives and our interactions.  It is helpful to be aware of how people identify themselves particularly in a disagreement.  Many conflicts begin because something we do or say is perceived as threatening what somebody identifies with.  Think holy wars and you'll get the extreme example of this concept.  When people closely twine their ego with their faith it is a recipe for volatile reactions.  This is why people will kill in the name of one religion or another.  Threatening someone's belief structure that they define themselves through is a direct assault on their identity.  It steals away the foundation of their identity.  The ego goes into defense mode and reacts as if the person's very life is in danger, and in a sense it is.  Your ego sees no difference between what you identify as and you.  I will give you a little exercise to practice with to get the feel for this.  I want you to think of what your reaction is to the next series of words: Democrat, Tea Party, War on Drugs, Fundamentalist Religions, Atheism, Family Values, Gay Agenda, Pro life, Pro Choice.  Now at least some of those words got an emotional response (some even got a visceral response I'm betting).  The degree to which you reacted to each of those words represents the degree you define yourself in relationship to them.

At the end of the day, we all define ourselves one way or another.  The trick is not to do so rigidly, leaving a way open for change to come.  If we define ourselves too rigidly change feels like death because that is what it becomes.  Part of our identity has to die to allow for the change.  I'm not saying we should be wishy washy, but rather than using external sources to identify ourselves we should be looking within for the traits that are truly us.  That will allow us to let go of what is not us  more gracefully.

So what about you?  Does change feel like death?  Do you define yourself by your occupation, your relationship status, or your social associations?  Are you aware when you react to a threat to your perceived identity or are you unconsciously playing out a conflict? If you removed all the external markers of association who are you really?  Think a while on that and tell me who you wish to be.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Shaken not Stirred

Greetings all,

Yes that is a Bond quote in the title.  Probably the only time you'll see me referring to him.  He is after all the worst spy in history.  Everyone knew who he was, and if he isn't a misogynists's dream of the ideal man he is damn close. The title refers more to me this week.

Events are moving, sometimes accompanied by hundreds of pounds of steal behind them.  Last weekend's near miss with the car in the fog (or as I like to think of it as someone who was compensating either for the lack of a mother's love or a severe handicap in anatomical endowment) has been followed by two more of these close calls.  I've gotten a bit jumpy you might say.  Usually when cars get flung at me it is because something wants me to mind my own business.  Of course I never do, it's just not who I am I suppose.

In times of tremendous change it is natural to feel a bit untethered and unsure.  I find myself conflicted torn between quickly trying to hammer something down into certainty and remaining open to an opportunity as yet unknown.  The thing is I don't really have to know at this point, but it is funny how everyone else wants to know what my plans are.  I almost manufacture plans just to have something to tell people.  They aren't lies either, I create real plans.  I just wonder if it is too soon to believe in any of them.  Meanwhile I am plugging away at some of my more ambitious long term goals.  I seem to be in delaying mode though, sometimes when things are close to coming to fruition I back away.  Nowadays I at least recognize the tendency. Believe it or not getting what you want can be just as frightening as not getting it.

So here I am betwixt and between the last chapter of one life and the first chapter of another.  I'm debating on what that next chapter will include.  I do feel all wobbly on the inside, but society demands certainty at all times.  The world waits for no man and all that rubbish.  Well considering the amount of time I've had to wait for various people or circumstances I think I shall take a moment to catch my breath, to look up, to even dare I say it…rest.  I've been given a great gift and that's an empty space in my life.  There is no need to automatically fill it without pause or reflection.

How about you?  Are you jarred from one event to another never taking time to regain your equilibrium?  Do you fill every empty section of your space and life?  Are you afraid of having space to think or be without a role to perform?  Why does the undefined frighten you?  Does having your ship come in leave you hung out to dry?  Stir these thoughts around in your head for a bit, and see if they don't shake you up.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle




Monday, November 2, 2015

Through the Mists

Greetings all,

All is silence out at this late hour as I return home through the fog.  I am very tired, but I will muse a bit for you.

Tonight was the annual Day of the Dead party at my teacher's house (well one of my teachers anyways).  This is one of my favorite gatherings of the year.  There is always a good turnout.  Normally I am very into the ceremony, but tonight I was pulled away from it by children.  I had a friend who had started doing a skull face make up but hadn't quite finished it and so I was helping her jazz it up for the festivities.  Well once the attending kids got a whiff of this every one of them wanted their face painted by me.  So while despacho was going on I was busy lending my artistic vision to painting stylized skulls on little girls' faces.

I dithered about giving full attention to ceremony while also being pulled in the direction of keeping the kids entertained.  I did take a few breaks to do my small part in ceremony, but for the most part I painted faces.  It was odd here I was to honor ancestors in ceremony and appeal for their aid in my endeavors for the year and I was stuck at the kiddie table.  Hmmm there might be a metaphor in there if I look hard enough for it. As I later considered the matter I came to the conclusion that I was honoring the ancestors by tending to the next generation.  I was making them a part of the festivities in a way they could grasp and enjoy.  Ceremony is a form energy can move through not the energy itself.

I did get out to the fire,  I did get to drum and dance.  I petitioned for the aid I think I need.  We sat up later than normal this year.  Each of us had all gone through profound changes, and most of them were quite difficult.  We traded readings and jokes.  Perhaps the jokes may turn out to be the more valuable asset.  As we wrapped up and got into our cars to leave a mist had descended.  It was so thick it hid the road practically.  It made us all very mindful of the space between where we were and our homes.

There is so much around us that we aren't aware of, and most times we don't give it much thought.  So much can happen in the space between one door and another.  The air is always full of possibilities just beyond our conscious awareness.  As I drove home a car passed me so close it set my heart racing almost as fast as it was moving, which had to be close to 100 mph.  A few to the left and I could have been joining the ancestors.  We can't see them usually but I believe we are always watched by ancestors or helpful spirits in those between spaces.  Taking time to honor them is never a bad idea.

So on this week where the veil between here and there is separated only by a screen of mists are you taking the opportunity to reach through?  Are you calling out to the spirits that walk beside us on our roads?  Are you drawing strength from those that have come before you?  Well if not perhaps it is time to consider your road and whether or not you wish company on it.  What would happen if you held hands with those who have gone before and know where the road leads?  Would you pass through the mists with courage and grace, or tremble with worry and stumble?  Consider your connections those that have passed and those that remain, how are you tending to them?

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Oh Coyote Where Art Thou

Greetings all,

I am home at last.  So whenever I leave for a good length of time it seems when I come home everything is in flux. The universe has decided it is time I spread my wings and fly higher.  I knew something was coming because Coyote has been showing up.

In modern American culture most of us were first acquainted with Coyote as children via looney tunes.  Remember poor old Wile E Coyote, Super Genius?  The cartoons did get one thing right, Coyote is clever.  Traditionally Coyote also got into a lot of trouble with his meddling, however there was no Acme TNT involved.  Coyote also had it out for authority figures, particularly those that take themselves too seriously or take advantage of the less fortunate.  He is not fond of rules or protocols.  Coyote is that friend your mother warned you about, the one who will get you dragged into all sorts of trouble.  Well, it seems he's taken an interest in me, how lucky for me.

It began over a month ago with a statue.  My uncle brought it back with him while he was closing up his house out west.  It's nearly life-size, but highly stylized.  It is of course Coyote although painted more like fox (a medicine I carry). Message number one went completely over my head.  I admit it sometimes I am dense.  Message number two was a bit more revealing.  I dreamed a little dream of Coyote walking along one of the pathways near my home.  I was with family and I threw sticks because I didn't want him getting too close.  Upon waking, I knew it was a message and that he was trying to reach me.  I didn't wait for message number three, I sought out Coyote in the lower world in a journey.  I call him Laughing Dog because the first time I met him he looked at me and said, "It's you!" Then he starting laughing at me and wouldn't stop. This time when I met him he was not alone he had his pack all around him.  He was half serious even.  He told me he had something to show me.

Laughing Dog ran and took me to a cliff side.  Ahead there were mountains and above them dark clouds with flashing lights and shadows moving behind them.  "Storm's coming," he said.  This was the future and it was fast approaching.  For the record, this is not the sort of thing you'd enjoy seeing in a journey.  This was inevitability,  it was unstoppable and it was heading my way.  So Laughing Dog did something, for good or ill he offered me his help.  I paused for a good long moment, I looked at my power animal who managed to shrug.  This was one of those free will things.  I considered Laughing Dog's reputation for causing as much trouble with his assistance as with his hindering.  Still at the end of it all I came to this.  I'd rather have the Coyote on my side than working against me, and help offered in good faith by a willing spirit shouldn't be so easily tossed aside.  I accepted Laughing Dog's offer of aid in the coming storm.

Well folks the storm is upon me.  I am in the midst of it as I write these words.  My foundations have been shaken and torn out beneath my feet.  All is change.  Coyote is master of change…usually.  Well he's adaptable, he's even been sighted in my neighborhood.  As uncomfortable as it may be I know he has things to teach me.  Aside from adaptability, Coyote really doesn't care much about what others think of him.  This is something I need to learn a bit of.  He's not exactly a worrier either and I could definitely take a page out of that playbook.  So here I am playing co-op with Coyote, it isn't clear who is winning at the moment, but with a good attitude and a bit of luck I'm sure we'll pull through.

So I've talked a lot about myself and my experiences this week, but I have noticed that many people around me are going through similar things.  There are big changes afoot, and many of us are anxious or down right scared.  Our lives seem to be falling apart around us, what we've relied upon for so long is no longer there for us.  The storm has come, the winds of change are blowing, and if we listen carefully we may hear Coyote singing.  Ask yourself how adaptable are you? Can you master change?  Is there an area of your life where the Laughing Dog could assist you?  Coyote is here and he is laughing, if we are flexible and brave we may be able to laugh with him.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle





Thursday, October 15, 2015

Falling

Greetings all,

I write once more from the road.  I'm certainly getting in my miles this year.  Soon the travel cloak will be put away for the season, but a few weeks more are left in the rush.  As the leaves begin to fall, it is a time of letting go.  Just as we do spring cleaning so too does autumn have us let loose of things.

Falling down is an important lesson.  One all of us learn (some like yours truly learn it repeatedly just in case we missed the gist).  The thing about falling is learning to pick ourselves back up without too much discouragement.  I usually do, but not until I have sufficiently bitched about it and beaten myself up for falling down in the first place.  Someday I hope to at least transcend the need to beat myself up for not doing everything perfectly the first time.  I do believe I have shared my burden of perfectionism.  It is never so apparent then when I fail at something.  The self recriminations and feelings of worthlessness can be overwhelming.  Generally I am very poor company for days after a set back.  I want comforting and yet refuse to be cheered or comforted.  I call that my pity whore state of being.

This week I was informed that I was being let go from one of my teaching positions.  It came as a shock.  I have regular students but apparently my attendance rate was too low.  (To be fair my class was scheduled at the worst possible time for most working people).  I had gotten glowing performance reviews so I was blindsided.  So I have spent the last 48 hours alternating between panicking about funds and then wallowing in the depths of being a professional failure.  No drama there nope not a bit of it.  Okay people no drama to see here move along.

We can either define ourselves by our successes or failures.  However probably the best way to define ourselves is how we manage to get back up and face the world again with grace.  I swear I will learn to do this gracefully…tomorrow…or next week….perhaps next year.  This is harder to do than you'd think.  It is easier if we learn it when we're children, but not all of us do.  For those who didn't have the creative parenting style that teaches resilience there is hope though.  You can learn to be resilient, to dust yourself off and get back in the game.  It is a choice.  Although I may complain and consider giving up, it is an option that is off the table.  I can't give up, not won't, can't.

So how about you?  When you fall do you get back up or do you lay there until someone comes along to pick you back up?  Do you see failure as some sort of big character flaw that only unworthy people have?  Do you beat yourself up when you fall short?  Well my dear ones you're not alone.  Most of us are still learning how to take care of ourselves while we move forward.  Give yourself permission to fall from time to time with the caveat that you will get back up and try again.  To rise we must fall, to succeed we must risk  failure.  Is it really so bad to not be perfect?  Think about it as you get back on your feet this week.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Mastery

Greetings all,

I once more set out on the road again this week. Not just for a weekend this time.  I will be staying out until after the second expo.  This has been a busy season so far.  Once winter settles in, my traveling days will be done for a bit and I can work on my artistic endeavors again.  This week's topic could have just as well been last week's, as it arose from a conversation with a friend of mine.  I'd like to spend a little time speaking about mastery.

This seem's to be the seeker's goal.  Many of us start on a spiritual path either due to a deep longing for meaning or because we are profoundly unhappy with the direction our life has gone.  Pain often is a great motivator as we don't seek to change when everything is nice and pleasant.  So we set out on the road to discovery.  What is mastery though?  Ask different seekers and you'll get different answers.  For me it was the ability to transmute or transcend any circumstance, to be untroubled by what was within myself and out in the world.  For others, it is to be without desire or without fear. The longer I am on my path the less certain I have any idea of what mastery is.  These days I would say it means the ability to fluidly change how I relate to anything be it a person, place, circumstance, or myself.  I could of course be wrong, it happened once before.

Over the years, I have had people come to me convinced I could let them in on a big secret of the universe, and that they would be transformed into a shinier version of themselves, a version without troubles.  Where there is life there is hope, but there are also challenges.  The difference between a master and ourselves (I''m assuming you're not an ascended master reading this post, if you are then yay) is how we show up for those challenges.  I don't know about you but I don't embrace my troubles like I do my joys.  All the people who have come to me wanting to be a master wanted to do it and remain essentially themselves. That's pretty impossible I mean to transform we have to change, quite dramatically. Many of us myself included have wanted change without changing.  We start doing the work and things start to shift and we freak out.

I drove myself crazy trying to become a master.  Mostly because I decided there was no time to lose I had to achieve mastery right now!  No ego involved in that attitude, nope not even a little.  As with many things involving the ego it stems from a fear of not being good enough.  Yes that old tired belief set.  The I'm not young enough, pretty enough, smart enough, strong enough, talented enough, emotionally mature enough, etc…. This mode of thinking always has our becoming somewhere off in the hazy future.  Someday I will be good enough to be a master.  Someday I will be good enough to be loved.  Someday I will be good enough to be of service.  It is of course a lie.  You will never be good enough someday.  You are good enough right now.  When I opened my healing practice, I knew a lot less than I do right now, and yet I was able to help people.  I'm sure a year or so from now I'll know a great deal more.  You see we are always in the process of becoming.  Every minute of our life we are becoming ourselves.  By taking mastery out of the equation, we allow ourselves to embrace who and what we are.  I have in essence given up on becoming a master, and elected instead to become more of who I am in this life.

So how about you?  Are you waiting for your so called perfected self to feel worthy?  Do you think you need to be a master to be of service?  Do you entertain fantasies of an unencumbered journey through life?  Well you might want to think twice and remember Dorothy wanted to go over the rainbow, but when she got there she found evil witches, flying monkeys, and charlatan wizards.   So why not click your heels together and wish to be who you are.  Let yourself off the hook.  You don't have to be a master today, only yourself.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle


Friday, October 2, 2015

The Fires of Creation

Greetings all,

It's the first weekend in October and that means one thing for me every year. The St. James art fair has been something I've been going to ever since I was a teenager.  I've gone when it has been raining (like today), when it has been over a hundred degrees and people were melting in their booths, and I've been when snow flurries have been coming down.  I walked the whole thing when I was half dead one year.  It is something I don't miss.  I look forward to it every year.  It is held in an old part of town with victorian style homes and little city gardens.  Tall oaks shade the city blocks in the area and gas lamps light the sidewalks at night.

This time of the year the leaves can just be at the edge of green or they can be in full fall splendor.  After a season of growth I start to turn inwards.  With all the creativity of hundreds of artists packed together in a few blocks, something magical happens.  Summer has a kind of magic, but mostly it is filled with activity and getting out and about.  The intensity of the sun can make it hard to focus on the mysteries.  Here at the edge of the waning year, there is a sense of magic in the air.  At the fair, I feel that if I stepped around the corner at the right time I'd find myself in another world cross wise to our own.

People who know me personally are aware that I make art as well as do healing work.  It was something I came to late, almost by accident.  However, years ago on another fair day in October I met a most peculiar artist.  She made really interesting paintings done mostly in tones of blue (blue is my favorite color).  She immediately started talking to me when I came into her booth.  She told me all about her work and how she started making it after a near death experience.  All her paintings were recounting her journey into the beyond.  She had never been a painter before, but she had been told to paint what she saw.  When she looked at me she said, "You're an artist too."  I told her sorry but although I liked art I wasn't any good at it, but she persisted in her conviction that I was an artist.  I did end up buying a small print from her that I liked.  It was three or four years later that I took my first pottery class.  I ended up going back to school for a second degree in art.  Now people know me as either an artist or a wizard.  I'm happy with either title they're almost the same thing in my head.  I never saw that painter again after first year she never came back to the fair, but I still remember that spark of magic that passed between us.

I mention all of this because today as I was walking amongst the different booths someone started asking me questions about some of the work.  They assumed I was the artist.  Apparently there is something that I radiate that makes people think artist.  One of the artists I'm friends with told me I practically ooze creativity. I haven't really felt like much of an artist lately. I've hardly done anything visual in months.  I've been too busy working and writing.  However I've decided to take a break from editing my book for its print version and delve back into the visual arts.  The spirit of creativity and magic go hand in hand.  Imagination, visions, dreams, and shaping are all ingredients in both media.

"Blah blah blah Mooneagle self aggrandizement," I'm sure you're thinking.  There is a point that is relevant to you I promise.  You see creativity is something that we are taught out of in our culture.  We are all creative and then at some point most of us stop expressing ourselves visually, musically, or theatrically (I mean real theatre not personal drama). As we get older, most of us are passive consumers of the so called "elite" creatives.  There isn't anything wrong with that.  I mean we're not all meant to be sculptors, but we are convinced we have no creativity or talent.  This is a problem.  If we go along with the principle that we create our life then we are not living up to our potential.  We need to flex our creative muscles to help us manifest and shape our lives.  You don't have to be a great painter, musician, actor, poet, or author to add to the beauty of your world.  You need to shape your vision of your life and the more you exercise your creativity the easier it will be to mold your life.  If you can't picture it then it will be a lot harder to bring it into being.  There is nothing as empowering as creating something.  The first time I realized I could bring something out of the picture in my head into this world it was an epiphany.  I felt powerful like I could create anything.

So how about you?  Do you deny your own creative impulses?  Are you a good cook and claim you aren't creative?  Do you tell great stories to your friends and coworkers and think you have no muse? Are you a gardener who brings forth many fruits and flowers? Is your home a haven of beauty and warmth, but you think of yourself as without talent?  Well STOP IT! You are a human being and that means you are inherently creative.  As we move into the colder months, start tending the hearth fires of creation within yourself and see what you bring forth.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Saturday, September 26, 2015

Fear itself

Greetings all,

Well this week I am going to write an actual post rather than just an announcement.  You'd have to be on this side of the screen though to see that my shout out last week was miraculous even in its brevity.  I'm actually amazed at all that has been done this past month or so.

As I meet deadlines, and take on new challenges I have been met by my old companion fear.  I've been playing the what if game in my head, imagining all the different things that could go wrong.  This is not something new.  I do torment myself from time to time with the worst case scenario.  However as I have delved more into my self I am realizing just how much fear has been entangled with my identity. It has become a character trait rather than a passing emotion.

There was a great book written in the 90s called The Gift of Fear.  In it the author defined fear as a biological response in the presence of immediate physical danger.  We have in our civilized brains taken fear out of the wild and removed it from its moorings.  Now it stalks our relationships, our work, and our own daydreams. We daily recreate our own nightmarish fantasies of what we really hope doesn't happen, but can't stop thinking about.  Sometimes we become so good at it, they even happen outside of our heads. We have become the chosen one, in our own self fulfilling prophecies of defeat and disaster.

Fear is a useful survival mechanism, but in myself and many others it has gone beyond that.  It has become mixed up with who we think we are.  We often define ourselves by our fears.  This is not in our best interests.  It makes us stressed out and it also makes us easy to manipulate. Our media works hard to keep us in low to mid grade generalized anxiety state on a daily basis. Make the people afraid and they will give anything to the powers that be to protect them to whatever bogey man the networks are selling.  Most of the time we don't think about it, but every generation it rears its ugly head with things like ethnic cleansing, police killing unarmed men, internment camps, and religious persecution. These are the fruits of fear.

I ran across some old notes from a lecture one of my teachers' gave years ago.  I found a quote, "Anyone who is trying to scare you a little is really trying to scare you a lot." It's quite true it is the basis for much of the manipulation we encounter.  Now I am not saying we should do away with fear, because it has kept us alive. I am saying that we need to reestablish it as a temporary functional state rather than a constant presence in our heads.  We must feel ourselves without constant anxiety. Once I recognized this pattern in myself I knew I had to address it if I was ever to have a moment's peace while I drew breath.

How about you?  How much does your fear and anxiety shape your life and choices? Can you imagine yourself without it for a day, a week? or a month?  Odds are unless you are living in a war zone or a very violent neighborhood there is no need for that continuous sense of unease. Start to examine how much of yourself and your actions is really you, and how much it is your fears.  Until next time check out the song Drive by Incubus.  I'll put the link below.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle


Thursday, September 17, 2015

Shout out

Greetings all,

This week I am not writing a post, well not in the traditional sense.  I am traveling again up to Columbus this time to ULE.  I will be speaking there about Runes the topic of my first book which just went up on amazon this week.  Needless to say it's been busy and as such I have not prepared a topic.  Not to worry fresh insights will be unearthed next week.  This week though I am taking the pressure off and just giving myself a pat on the back.

Check out my new book, Drumming Down the Runes Walking the 24 Roads.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Finding Beauty

Greetings all,

The travels continue as I set forth once more, this time to Camp Chesterfield for their psychic fair.  I've been teaching quite a bit the past few weeks, and I've been putting the finishing touches on my first book.  I'm just really a cover and a book jacket description away from publication.  It has been very overwhelming.  Hopefully the next time I finish a book, I won't have everything happening at the same time.  I won't lie some weeks it has been quite a strain to pull something out of my head to share here. Not to worry, I'll soon be devoting all my author energy back to the blog…until my next book.  Don't ask me when that will be or what it will be about, because I don't know yet.

In the mad dash to get everything done this week I had a moment of clarity in between my classes today.  I was looking out a window and noticing the dew on the ornamental grasses of the corporate campus. (I've been teaching tai chi as part of a corporate wellness program this month).  The mid morning light was glinting off the dew like jewels as the grass slowly swayed in the breeze.  White cotton ball clouds floated by on bright blue sky overhead.  It was beautiful.  I was moved by the simplicity of that scene and privileged to acknowledge the beauty that nature provides us.

I hear a lot about how mankind is ruining the planet.  Hell, I'm often one of the voices raising that point. People do go a bit far in suggesting the planet would be better off without us.  We are a part of nature, even if we have forgotten it.  Like all the plants and animals, we have a sacred purpose in the web of life. No one really agrees as to what that purpose is, but many of us do agree that most of our species has forsaken it.

Today looking at the perfect way the sunlight kissed the dew, it seemed clear to me what our purpose is. In that moment, I had a strong knowing that our purpose was to behold the beauty and splendor in the world, and when we have rejoiced in it till we are full then we expand it out into the universe.  We are the beholders of beauty.  By acknowledging and honoring the beauty in the universe we help make it sacred. We can even in a small way partner with it, and create even greater beauty.

Now some of you may think this purpose is shallow and all about looks.  It isn't.  In our culture, we often confuse beauty with sexy.  Not that there is anything wrong with sexy, but it isn't the same thing as beauty.  You can be beautiful but not necessarily sexy. You can also be sexy but far from beautiful. Beauty can be in an act, a gesture, or a word.  Beauty can be the way you care for your loved ones.  It can be perseverance in the face of impossible odds. It can be the lines of wisdom in the face of a beloved grandparent.  It can be the way you greet the day.

We daily broadcast images of the grotesque and ugly acts that our kind perpetuate upon the planet and each other. I think it is coercive in a way, to shutdown our basic capacity for beauty.  If we stop looking for beauty, we stop finding it.  We live in a gray world of blood and ash without it.  This makes it easy to market to us.  Sex, blood, and death sell like ice cream on a hot day in a world robbed of beauty. The heart is what perceives beauty, and ad men have been really dodgy about marketing to the heart.  It is tricky, much easier to cut it out and either make us afraid or horny. Hard-wired biological drives will increase profits, the heart in comparison is a risky venture.

You may be thinking, "Sheesh Mooneagle stop preaching about pretty sunsets and dew drops and give me something practical." If you are thinking that you haven't been reading my blog very long have you? There is some very practical applications and implications of my idea.  If we accept it as one possible purpose for humanity it has the capacity to transform ourselves and our civilization.  How would we treat the world and each other if we were imbued with the sacredness of our purpose in nature?

This is where I leave you….ok just kidding.  Ask yourself if beauty has a place in your heart and life? Do you notice the thousands of acts of beauty around you each day?  Do you notice the sun and the moon?  Do you delight in how the wind moves through the trees? Do you devote time in your life to creating beauty?  Do you bring it into your work and your relationships? If not, it may be time for you to hand your heart some markers and let it recolor the world for you.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Saturday, September 5, 2015

Words

Greetings all,

Bittersweet has been this week as I close in on achieving one of the major goals of my life.  My book is ready for publication. I'm just getting with a photographer and graphic designer to create the cover.  Almost two years in the making for a book that is 70 or so pages seems like a lot.  Drumming Down the Runes, was more than a book though, it was an epic journey.  It also served as a reminder to me about the power in our words.

Marketing, love it or hate it, is omnipresent in our culture.  For myself, it is one of those necessary evils.  Still I try to make even my marketing align with some form of service.  This blog could be seen as a form of marketing, but I also try to go deeper with it and hopefully provide some insights for my readers to ponder. Still at the base of it all, marketing to me seems to be about the devaluing of the power in words.  It is glamour without substance more often than not.

In the beginning there was the word.  Some of you probably recognize that phrase from one translation of Genesis. Our use of language has evolved quite a bit in the past few thousand years. A man's word (or woman's word just so as we aren't being sexist) used to carry a lot more weight.  The breaking of one's word carried a heavy toll.  These days we toss words around carelessly, sometimes not even sure of their true meaning. We use words that hurt in order to sound clever or superior.  We may have become desensitized to our words, but there is power in them still.  We see this in rise of teen suicides affected by cyber bullying.  Just words on a screen someone might say, but those words carried a death sentence to the intended readers.

I myself have been lax in my use of words.  I have at various times been told by spirit to "stop gossiping".  It is a detrimental habit, one that I have taken a great deal of effort to reduce or eliminate in my life.  I have a gift of words and influence.  I can even imbue words with subtextual meanings to say a lot without saying anything.  This can be useful, and it can also be manipulative and cruel if done without a lot of self reflection as to my motives.  So my blog you see can be useful for things other than marketing.  I think it helps me stop myself from idly doling out power on things that are beneath the line of integrity…I still fail.  My words can be petty, spiteful, and brash.  With a book on the way, I just hope I have used my words in a constructive and healing manner.

Words shape the framework of the perception of our lives and world. World is only one letter more than word. Ponder that one. Experiencing and writing about the power of letters for the past two years has been eye opening.  A single letter can have a multitude of associations tied to it.  It can be maddening to think of how much unconsciousness we tolerate in our words.  Maybe this is why so many spiritual traditions talk about listening more than talking.

 You might be thinking, "So what Mooneagle what does this mean to me?" Well how conscious are you of the ways in which you use language?  Are you given to exaggeration? Is false flattery and flowery verbiage camouflaging your true feelings? Are you precise in your questions to one another? How about the words you use to describe your life? Self talk can make the difference between a positive self image and self loathing. Do your words have weight, or are they just pushing air around? What would happen if considered your words more carefully? How would your words shape your world?  Let that idea gestate for a time within yourself, and then see what is brought forth.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Sunday, August 30, 2015

Pages are Turning

Greetings all,

What a week.  I got back Monday and hit the ground running.  I've been editing the chapters of my book this week.  I'm happy to say that I have completed the chapters and now I just need to go through the afterword, resource page, and table of contents.  Then it is on to generate a book cover image.

Editing and revising are an interesting mindset as they bring back to me the initial creation of a piece of writing.  Sometimes I see it differently when I circle back around.  I will see things that I missed from my initial read through.  Certain concepts which sounded clear when I wrote them down, now sound odd when I read through them again. My editing process has been running parallel to an astrological alignment, specifically the Venus retrograde.

Retrogrades in astrology are often interpreted as times of review.  They are opportunities to rethink a strategy, project, or in the case of Venus, relationships.  It's funny I have been running into people I haven't seen in years.  Sometimes it was with people that I had a sharper disconnect with, others just faded out.  What is interesting is how different we are now at this point in our lives.  I am curious to see if old some old acquaintances will turn into more close friends.  On the other side of this revisiting energy has been the concept of the turned page.

Like a book our life has chapters.  Some characters appear early on and we never see them again.  Others weave in out of the chapters of our life.  Still there are characters, some of whom may have been major story arcs in our definitive chapters, that have their run with us and then that's it.  We have in a sense turned a page that we can't turn back.  I like most people have had relationships that were intense for key points in my life, and like most people I thought that meant forever.  It is not always so.  I can tell you the most suffering I've endured is when I have tried to hold onto a relationship when it has passed its expiration date.  When I do finally let go that chapter is closed, done….over.  The pages can't be turned back if I wish to move forward with my own story.

Now on occasion, people come to me asking if I might consider reopening a closed chapter.  Some well meaning, others just curious, and there are of course the others whom I call pot stirrers. I've actually had people so persistent to drag me back into the past that I had to close their chapter as well.  It all finally crystallized into a saying that has since caught fire on Facebook.  "Some relationships we just outgrow. Asking us to renew them would be like asking a butterfly to crawl back into the cocoon." No butterfly in their right mind wants to become a caterpillar again when they can fly.

So what about you?  Have you been revisiting the ghost of relationships past this month?  Do you reread the chapters in your life instead of writing new ones? Have you ever clipped your wings to crawl back into a cocoon that no longer fits?  Well while it is sometimes nice to rekindle old flames, it is equally good at times to bury the ashes.  Ask yourself if who you are now can fit your wings into the picture with the people that are popping up.  If not you may just need to fly a little farther.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Not My Business

Greetings all,

Yes it is early this week, but I am leaving once more for the open road.  I won't have a way to blog.  I've had something rolling around in my head of late.  So I will process it here and maybe help you guys too.

I've done a pretty good job the past few years detaching from opinions as they are expressed on Youtube comment threads.  For the most part I couldn't care less what some person hidden behind a screen thinks of me.  Don't get me wrong it pleases me when people leave encouraging feed back, but I don't take it to heart when someone decides to insult me on the internet.  This is good.  This is progress.  Where I still struggle is out in the big wide world.  I do worry how I am received.

This I understand is a natural human concern.  We evolved living in small groups and communities.  We depended on each other for our physical well being.  With all of our modern toys we may be less aware on the surface of how interdependent we are, however when we get down below that veneer our social standing is often a strong motivator for our actions.  We are all keeping up with the Jones' in a sense.  Now the form this takes varies among groups and individuals, but all of us (barring sociopaths) are invested in what esteem our social groups have for us. Now the degree to which this dictates our actions and behaviors also varies among people.  Some people just don't care what others think of them…unless it is their family doing the thinking.  For others it is their friends or their romantic partners which generate the most anxiety surrounding their self image.

Don't believe me?  Think you are above all that?  Well try this little thought experiment.  Imagine someone you hold in very high regards, someone you really respect, someone you love.  Now imagine how you would feel if this person was absolutely disgusted by you.  Imagine they are repulsed by your appearance, your voice, your hygiene, your choices, your behavior, and your interests. Does that idea disturb you?  Well welcome to the human race.

I have realized that I still worry a good deal about what the people around me think of me.  I am likely projecting my own insecurities on them and playing out my own fears of rejection.  The thing is, experience has taught me that I am a poor judge of what people think of me. In other matters, I'm actually really good at gauging motivations, but every intuitive has a blind spot when it comes to themselves.  The other thing I have realized is that it really isn't my business what people think of me.  I mean don't get me wrong I work very hard trying to make it my business.  I am not quite sure why I think I am entitled to know what goes on in other people's heads. It isn't like the information gives me any sort of peace of mind, it is rather the opposite.

So what about you?  Do you feel entitled to know what people think of you?  Are you always concerned about what is going on inside the minds of our fellow humans?  I think you'd be quite shocked at how seldom we cross the minds of others.  What would happen if when these worries surfaced you reminded yourself that it isn't any of your business what goes on in other people's minds?  Would that free you up?  Would that let you relax a little bit more?  Try it out and see.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Friday, August 14, 2015

Changing Roles

Greetings all,

I write again from the far far away.  The frantic pace has slowed now until my return home.  This weekend I've helped to set up a booth at a fair, break it down, and taught my first all day workshop solo.  Tonight is for despacho ceremony.

This weekend if nothing else has shown me a glimpse of the role of teacher.  It's funny that I don't necessarily view myself as much of a teacher because I do teach classes every week on tai chi.  I've simply been doing it for so long it appears a natural part of my life.  I've taken my fair share of workshops and seminars on shamanism but this is really the first time I've been the teacher.  I have co taught workshops before, but this is the first time I've been the person in charge.  It was just me and spirit.

I must say spirit did all the heavy lifting for the weekend (apart from moving some big crystals at the fair breakdown).  The drum sang, apart from its steady beat I heard voices chanting.  So did some of the workshop participants which was quite exciting.  I have been hearing the voices in the drums for years now, but to have people new to it be able to experience that from the start was amazing.  I was quite relieved at how the day went because as I was preparing for this workshop I realized I actually never took this workshop from my teachers.  I did of course consult them for their advice, but a great deal of the workshop was provided by spirit.

Wearing the role of teacher is strange.  In Chinese the term Sifu means either teacher or master.  I was named a Sifu back in 2003 and it felt weird to me back then.  It took a couple years of teaching tai chi to beginners for me to become comfortable with that identity.  It is interesting to note the dual meanings of the word and it gives a nice glimpse into the lens with which the teacher role is viewed in another culture.  In our culture we sometimes think of teachers as low paid child minders with summer vacations.  There is a great lack of respect.  Shamanism is all about respect.  People make a fuss about respect.  They think it is about bowing and kowtowing to others judgment, but it is simply treating others with compassion and acknowledging their sacredness.

As I switched gears the day after my workshop to help out in a friend's crystal booth I got a second chance at trying on the teacher role.  Someone recognized me from Youtube.  They were telling me how they struggled to access the zero point field of possibilities and I showed them a quick trick I'd picked up from another quantum consciousness teacher.  They were amazed at how they instantly sank into their heart space.  That was really gratifying for me to see.  I am usually surrounded with so many gifted teachers and practitioners that it is easy for me to forget that I have a lot to offer others as well.

How about you?  Do you pass along tips and tricks for smoothing out life's journey?  Do you keep your knowledge hoarded unsure of its usefulness?  Do you know your stuff until someone tries to put you in charge?  Why not try stepping into the teaching role here and there?  They say the best way to truly learn something is to teach it to another.  We are all teachers whether we know it or not.  Some of us teach consciously others simply by example.  Be generous with your knowledge for we are only here a little while and if we fail to share our knowledge it dies when we do.  So pull out your blackboard chalk because school is back in session.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Friday, August 7, 2015

Travels

Greetings all,

I am on the road.  I've been traveling since Wednesday.  Tomorrow I teach my first out of state workshop.  The day after that I will be at the Celebration of Life Expo in York, PA.  Right now after setting up in two different towns and getting my workshop notes rewritten and reorganized I'm pretty beat.

It strikes me that just a few generations back travel was much more laborious.  Before the 1950s and the interstate projects cross country travel was much more time intensive we can do in a day what may have once taken weeks due to the state of the roads.  With air travel, we can be somewhere in hours where once it may have taken our ancestors months or even years.

Travel has gotten immensely easier, and yet it still seems tiring.  There is something about the road that is draining.  Maybe it is the attention it takes for us to navigate safely at such high speeds which taxes our energy.  Maybe it is the preparing and packing.  Maybe it is the change in the energy of the land beneath our feet.  Jet lag is a good example of this.  We can travel so fast now that our bodies don't naturally synchronize to the rhythms and times.  We used to be limited to the pace of our own walking or that of our horse.  Then came the railroads, automobiles, and planes.  We don't have the slow recalibration as we zoom past the landscape any more.  Now we physically race along and then our energy bodies have to catch up.

Right now I am playing catch up.  I'm out of my normal place on this earth and off my normal schedule to boot.  So this is a good time to tune into my body and listen to what it needs.  At this moment it is saying finish up this blog so we can take a short lie down.  So I guess I will make this a short post.

How about you?  As you move physically through the world are you conscious of the effects of that rapid moment on yourself?  Do you have a method to reset your system when you travel or do you just wait till you are home again? As I embark on more traveling in the next few months I'm finding it even more important to find ways to settle down once I reach my destination.  Feel free to share your tricks for finding peace amongst the movement.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Saturday, August 1, 2015

Once in a Blue Moon

Greetings all,

I solemnly swear I am not ranting this week.  I've been gearing up in preparation for the blue moon which was also a super moon rising on Lammas eve.  I've also been getting ready for my upcoming trip to Gettysburg to teach my first out of town workshop.  I've been doing my flight of the bumble bee impression between collapsing into semi coma states.  Yes apparently I still haven't found the settings dial for me, I'm either on or off.

The thing about blue moons is that to our ancestors they really weren't all that special.  A lot of the old world calendars were lunar so there was never more than one full moon a month.  In the past ten years I have become more interested in the lunar cycles and do my best to work with the celestial energies.  I was once told in a meditation that I would follow the path of the moon.  I mean come on my name is Mooneagle, that silver orb is bound to have some significance for me.

As I look back blue moons have actually coincided with some pretty pivotal moments.  I received my first Reiki attunement on a blue moon.  I moved into my office space and called in the wards to seal, empower, and protect it on another blue moon.  I've been away at workshops that have altered the entire style of my artwork during them too.  So while there may not be a big mystical meaning there is great personal meaning for the blue moon in my life.  Now to be truthful I do scour the calendars looking for significant correspondences.  I'm all for taking advantage of any energies that will boost my goals a bit.

There may be some value in this.  By choosing a time and making it sacred I give myself one of those permission slips to my unconscious mind.  This loosens up the restraints I have on what I believe can be accomplished.  This is Dumbo's magic feather (without racist crow cartoon characters).  It doesn't even matter that I know that I'm doing it, because I still feel like it is special.  The feeling is what counts when we're working with the subconscious.  Stuff gets labelled as important when we have strong feelings associated with it.  That's pretty much a ticket to long term memory storage.  It's nice when we can get that to work for us rather than against us.

So how about you?  Do you find the moon, the stars, or planets to be partnering up with the Fates for you or against you?  Do you have a season that tends to be yours in terms of moving forward and making strides in your life?  Maybe the month of your birth is the turning point for you, maybe it's a holiday.  Maybe it is when the light changes and the first green returns to a cold gray land.  What would happen if you made use of that association?  What if you planned your moves to get your subconscious to give you a boost?  Maybe you could make new associations, maybe you could even choose a new time.  Why not?  Why wait around for once in a blue moon?

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle


Saturday, July 25, 2015

The Sordid Topic of Coin

Greetings all,

I appreciate all the words of support and sympathy you shared after last week's post.  This week I decided to tackle an issue with less emotional charge to it, money…

Yes that was sarcasm well not the part about being grateful for the kind words of sympathy, the part about money not having an emotional charge to it.  Few topics can raise such bone deep reactions as the "sordid topic of coin."  I heard that line years ago in the movie Death Becomes Her.  It always stuck with me, because let's face it we are up to our eyeballs in emotional knots whenever we bring money into a situation.  So let us skip through this minefield together.

First off money is an abstract concept.  It is a marker that can be exchanged for goods.  On the whole it was a nifty idea.  The invention of currency meant we no longer had to haul all our possessions along with us when we wished to trade.  This revolutionized trade.  I mean can you imagine the lines at the grocery store if everyone was bartering with different goods?  The other advantage was that you could trade money for any service you liked, you didn't have to waste time trading multiple items before you had merchandise that would garner you an acceptable trade.  For example, you want to buy a car and you have many fine pieces of furniture to trade, but the car dealer doesn't want furniture he wants a boat. Now you must look for a boat from someone who wants furniture or you have to trade with someone else to get the items that will get you a boat so you can trade for a car.  You see how exhausting this could be.

So for its convenience money is really a rather unique invention.  It is the universal key to material goods, a philosopher's stone.  It is no wonder that everyone is trying to get more of the stuff.  It literally is the stuff of dreams.  Yes I know it can't buy you happiness, but it can get you shelter, food, water, clothing, and any of the other necessities of life.

All well and good so what's my beef with money?  Well I do a lot of work in what is referred to as spiritual realms.  People think that money and spirit don't mix.  It is sort of the extension of the material realm and the realm of thought.  So this week a friend of mine was advertising about a workshop  she was teaching.  It was a 2 day workshop and she was charging a very reasonable rate for a 2 day class.  Someone kept pestering her on social media about why it was so expensive.  I've encountered this same question asked by people who want what I can do for them but don't want to pay for it or only pay dollar store prices.

This upsets me.  It basically says to me that you don't respect me or what I do and that it has no value.  Imagine if I came into your workplace and started bitching about your rates and how what you did wasn't all that important and that you shouldn't charge for helping me.  So I commented back to the person on social media that our rates are what they are because we have to eat as well.  My friend was pestered again about her "high" rates.  I then spelled it out to her public heckler (because that is what she was behaving like) that when we teach or offer our skills we are bringing something together that took us a long time to learn and/or put together.  My friend has been working in the realms of spirit and healing longer than I have and it appalls me when people nickel and dime her.  It's happened to me plenty of times people want the five star treatment while paying the half star rate.

In times past what I and many of my colleagues do wasn't charged for.  Here is what happened instead. We were given a place to live.  People provided us with food.  People brought us gifts like new clothes.  A spirit worker or medicine person sometimes didn't even have to hunt.  Hunting was dangerous you get hurt or killed.  So other members of a village or tribe would hunt for them instead, literally adding more risk to their own lives to provide for the local healer.  That is respect. That is honoring what a healer or spirit worker does.  So if you feel the need to complain about rates for spiritual work I have questions for you.  Have you given me shelter?  Have you stocked my refrigerator?  Have you provided my clothes and shoes?  Have you risked your life for me?  No, well then before you disrespect a healer by arguing about their rates go jump in the river….in winter.

Ah there I told you nothing gets the emotions pumping quite like the topic of money.  So let me bring this back to you.  Do you devalue yourself?  Do you give your best only to have people try bargain you down?  Do you let others shame you so that they can save a buck?  Or are you devaluing people?  Do you demand help from people but want to give nothing in return?  It is my wish that you are on neither side of this.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Have Your Back

Greetings all,

It has been a challenging week.  It began with death.  She came for my dog.  It was quite unexpected and it threw me and my family for quite a loop.  We also had neighbors break into unconsolable sobs. People in our neighborhood might not know my name but they all knew our dog, and she them.  She loved just about everybody, well almost she was locked in eternal conflict with the squirrel nation as well as occasional feuds aimed at the chipmunk confederacy.  I miss her greetings and her insistence at joining me while I practiced tai chi on my deck.

Loss it is there always, sometimes waiting patiently other times charging right into us and snatching our beloved ones from our grasp.  It sucks.  It is also part of what binds us to one another. I can't tell you how many comments of support and condolences I received on social media.  Sadly the death of my dear sweet puppy girl was probably the most popular post I ever had.  Old social programming passed down from time immemorial makes us circle round when one of us loses someone close.  From a purely selfish standpoint perhaps it is because we all know that one day we will be the one standing in the center of the circle mourning a loss.  From a different view point maybe it is the one love that runs through all of us that calls us together when loss strikes.  I will say this I had no idea that so many people cared.

My dog had my back.  She was not alone it seems.  I dreamed of her not two days after her passing and the bulk of my sadness lifted.  Since that dream I don't feel like she is gone, it is just that I can't touch her or hear her.  This has been typical for me.  People come and visit me while I sleep (be they two legged or four legged).  I've had people calling and checking on me.  They too have my back.

Lately I have heard from many people that they are experiencing serious challenges and traumas.   It is time to circle the wagons.  Light the beacon fires.  Sing soothing melodies to one another.  We are our brothers keepers.  Some see it as a burden, but if you have someone's back odds are they have yours too.  People may not be the only ones to have your back Spirit may as well.

Every week I do ceremony to honor Spirit and send prayers to all those in my personal community as well as some of my clients.  It is a very simple ceremony of rattling and giving thanks.  This week my focus was to call to us people, spirits, and energies that would have our backs in this time of stress.  This week I was late in getting started.  I didn't get to my office until 10 o'clock in the evening.  I had just come from a shaman's weather gathering.  After setting up and beginning with calling in Spirit and thanking all of my helpers and guides I began to hear something out in the hall.  It sounded as if there was someone wandering the building.  This made me a bit nervous as I hadn't locked my office door, but I continued with the prayers.  Another few moments passed and I heard more noise in the hall and suddenly I heard the latch on the door wiggle and the door begin to move inward.  I leapt up from my seat in front of the altar and rushed to the door.  As I got there I felt a great weight pushing and I also felt a strong gust of wind through the door frame.  I then heard the sound of a storm raging.  Somehow the wind had opened the lobby doors and moved through the hall to my door.  It had only been the wind, but why had it only been the wind, and why had it managed to open the lobby doors and lift the latch on mine?

It occurred to me later that I had earlier in the evening participated in honoring weather and that I had prayed for spirits and energies to come that would have my back.  Wind came, rain came, storm came.  Really I should feel blessed, and I did once I established there wasn't a prowler in the hall.  What also occurred to me was how I rushed to keep out the energy that may have been answering the call.  Support can come from many sources and not all of them fit into our ideas of what they should be.  What would have happened if I had let the wind open the door to my sacred space?

How about you?  Have you called for help and barred the door?  Have you searched for support and found it came from the only place you didn't look?  What if you let Spirit watch your back?  Take some time this week to think of all those who have had your back when you needed it, and think of all the chance happenings that led you to safety in your hour of need.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Monday, July 13, 2015

Resonance

Greetings all,

I bet you thought I had forgotten all about you.  Well I simply had trouble with my browser loading the blog.  So being all clever and technical I remembered that I have another web browser that I use when the first one is being all contrary.

There is nothing quite so satisfying as seeing an energetic principle in action.  Particularly if you are the one employing it.  I had the good fortune of being in that position this week.  Weather has been teaching me to seize opportunities when they arise and they did arise this week when I went to teach tai chi.  There was a short window of clear skies and not too hot or humid air.  Whenever possible I like to practice tai chi outside and I try to get as many of my classes as possible to take place outdoors as well.  So in this calm between thunder I coaxed most of my students out to the pool patio.

As we move deeper into summer there are few days where it is pleasant in the late afternoon to practice on the concrete area.  This was quite bearable with a slight breeze.  Now here was the challenge.  We were not the only ones outside appreciating the gentle weather.  There was one or two families there too.  Two darling lovely children were running about...screaming bloody murder.  I know not exactly the ambiance you'd wish for a tai chi class.  I felt a tad bit embarrassed and unprofessional for leading a class amidst that chaos.  Then I thought what better environment to learn to tune more into your own chi rather than letting the outside world dictate your mental state.  So we began and I smiled as piercing screams and occasional tears punctuated my instructions.  As we got started though all but one of the children got calmer.  Then lo and behold the mothers decided it was time to go, leaving us in quiet contemplation for the remainder of our class.

It could be coincidence.  It could be that the moms were embarrassed of how loud their kids were.  (Truly they weren't any louder than other kids that age).  However I think what happened had more to do with resonance.  As we moved farther into our routine even the distractions became part of the rhythm.  We established a vibration of balance and quiet contemplation.  The external environment then began to align itself with that, it came in resonance with our collective energy.  It is like what happens when a bunch of pendulums are started at different times, eventually they all start to move in sync with each other.  The more focused or intense vibrations tend to create a stronger resonance pattern and become dominant.  Immediately after we had cleared the patio I remarked, "Well we have the place to ourselves now, I wonder how that happened..."

Resonance is one of the keys to manifesting.  Either you create a strong focused vibration/intention and the world comes in resonance with it, or you come in resonance with something and your vibration is dictated by whatever you are in resonance with.  Here is the tricky part though you can be in positive resonance or negative resonance and they are both equally powerful and capable of drawing to you those situations.  This is why they tell you in all manifestation courses to never focus on what you don't want, because it sets up a negative resonance which serves to align events with it.  Complaining sets us up to be in negative resonance with whatever caused us to complain and thereby perpetuates the pattern. 

Well you may be thinking how does this apply to you?  Think about what you are in resonance in with positively.  What about those things you really hate or are afraid of.  Sorry to say you are in resonance with those things too.  It is simply a negative resonance.  Which resonance are you more affected by?  Which resonance do you dwell on more?  Setting up a positive resonance is easy, what is hard is getting rid of negative resonances.  The more you try and push whatever it is away the more negatively you are in resonance with it.  It's a tricky deal.  The only way out seems to be refocusing on your experiences that draw you into positive resonance.  Try not complaining or being drawn into what you are upset about, afraid of, or disappointed in for a bit and see what happens.  What shows up?  Continue to explore and uncover your negative resonances and bring them to awareness.  Set the vibration and resonance in your space and see how life unfolds around you.  Let me know if that resonates with you.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle

Sunday, July 5, 2015

Step Forward Step Back

Greetings all,

This week has been packed with activity.  I will be doing 8 shows from August until November so the traveling will begin soon.  My book is in my proofreaders' hands right now.  I had to upgrade my phone so everything is change.

So my next few months have taken on a whole new plan.  This week I have found myself not wanting to do too much.  I've had a few very intense client sessions, but other than that I haven't pressed ahead with any of my other projects.  I guess that is sort of typical after any big project or change I like to have a little breathing space to just be.  It is in this empty space where new ideas seem to spring up.  I need a bit of time to ponder and dream up what I want to play with next.

I try to go some place new each year and from the looks of things I have about 5 new places in my near future.  So the pace has quickened and I'm playing catch up.  There is much to be excited about with my upcoming book and public talks. Still in the midst of this I am planning on upgrading my skills taking classes locally.

I do apologize faithful readers.  (Yes believe it or not there are people who regularly consume my words). I've not meant this blog to be a gab fest about all the things I'm doing.  It is supposed to be about what I am experiencing on a deeper level and my observations about that. I always try and tie it back to something maybe you can learn from.  I mean someone ought to benefit from the trials I put myself through. Lately I have been seeing so much on the surface of my world change and looking at how I struggle to keep up with it.  We all say we want change and then we have to change to allow it into our lives.  It isn't always the most comfortable path.

I was talking with a fellow traveler on the shamanic byways in the past few months and they told me about how uncomfortable certain aspects of the training was for them.  My response was to let them know they should get used to it.  Shamanic training is not meant to be easy although sometimes it can still be fun amidst the discomfort.  We all encounter the new some of us take to it more easily than others.  As children it is easier for us to embrace new adventures.  We even look forward to them.  Temperament does play a significant role in how much change we think we can handle, but often unless we challenge ourselves we can stagnate.  It is when routine has firmly encrusted our lives that we most fear change, it is also when we most need it.

Lately I feel as if I'm up to bat next.  Considering my abysmal athletic ability as a child this not a nice warm and fuzzy feeling for me.  It is basically performance anxiety.  I've been looking for my time and space to shine and here it is upon me and now I don't feel ready.  This is of course hogwash I've been preparing for ages for all these things.  I am the last thing standing in my way, or was I the first thing?

So now let me ask you something.  Are you pulling back from finish line right at the end of the marathon? Have you been putting all your efforts forward until they begin to pay off?  Are you rearing to go until they start calling for boarding passes?  Well my dears you're in good company.  I suggest you take a step back from your reaction to see the larger story playing out.  You are taking on new roles  and adventures this is all just a little page turning anxiety in the book of life.  Take heart fire up your courage and walk tall into the sunset of your accomplishments.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas Mooneagle