Late again I know but the sun hasn't risen yet so I'm getting this post in just under the wire. I've been a busy little bee this week. I've been finishing up my Christmas shopping, baking, writing, and putting on a big drum ceremony.
I never know quite how things will go with my public ceremonies. Every venue is different, and it seems like every solstice I am drumming someplace different. I walk the line between trying to be inclusive and also in integrity with who I am. There are realms of awareness that I visit that seem like fantastic otherworldly kind of places (and they are), but they are part of my normal (or what passes for it for me) experience. This comes out when I teach or lead any kind of public event. I have to figure out what page in the book of worlds my audience has turned to.
Most people in the mainstream would find a lot of what I do or experience frightening. This is not because of anything bad although there are harrowing experiences from time to time, but rather it is so far out of their worldview and point of reference. What I take for granted is high mystery or the twilight zone for much of the western world. What I have found though is that even people in the holistic community have areas where they just don't venture into either through fear of what is there or from fear of looking gullible or silly.
Some people are comfortable with my role as a tai chi instructor, but they balk at me giving readings. Some are okay with readings, but they cringe at practicing Reiki. Some are down for the Reiki, but if I pull out a drum or a rattle they start to squirm. Some are okay with the shamanic practices, but roll their eyes when I start applying quantum physics concepts to healing work. There are those that can come to grip with all of that but if I mention faeries they are convinced I have crossed the threshold into crazy.
It is a rare set of individuals that can groove with all of me. So I do selectively share to meet people at their level of comfort in a way that is comfortable to myself as well. Anyways what brought this up is that I was anointing and blessing candles for people to take home using my Three Mother's Oil blend. Now it is called that because it receives the blessings from the earth mother, the full moon grandmother, and my faery godmother. I was explaining why it as called Three Mother's oil and struggled with finding out how many people were on a page where they'd be alright with it. I probably need not have worried as I was drumming at a metaphysical church, but you'd be surprised how many people in the metaphysics community have no trouble believing in angels but think belief in faeries is for children.
What does this have to do with anything (I know I am rambling it has been a very long day). Well how much do we censor ourselves so that we don't present as someone who is a little touched in the head? This doesn't just apply to metaphysical topics it could be as simple as what music you like or what hobbies you are into.
Well nerves aside the ceremony was a big hit. I had people coming up to me thanking me and complimenting me. I was really blown away by the response. It is my ego I know but I do always worry about how I come off. I know that in the past people have greatly misinterpreted my intent and/or demeanor. There comes a point though where you have to let go of that. Some people are going to project onto whatever you do. You can't control people's responses only your intent and behavior interpretation is up to them.
So how about you? Do you edit yourself for your audience? It's not a bad thing if you do as long as you feel that are still you. Does it create more mental work? Do you feel burdened by your public face? Do you strike a balance between meeting people where they are and standing in your truth? In our world we do have to be mindful about how we present and how our words affect others, but there is that sweet spot the bridging place between us and other. Finding it is a journey, one I am still on, walk with me a bit.
Peace and Blessings,