Short week due to the holiday. For me it was like two weeks worth of activity and feelings crammed into one. This could explain my tardiness in posting. Whereas last week I muddled through being down this week its all been fire and fury. Yes the Mooneagle has not been his typical calm self. Not that most of you would have known otherwise. If nothing else I can appear calm on the surface (a useful talent).
As I reached out to others in my social circle it seemed that many of us were being challenged by bigger swings in the emotional pendulum. Is it something in the stars, the geomagnetic field acting up, or are people just being assholes? It wasn't really until today that I zeroed in on the internal pattern that was at the heart of it all. (Not that any or all of those external factors weren't influencing but as within so without).
The Law of Attraction puts us all on notice to tend to our inner state and vibration. Look inwards for happiness, love, prosperity, and all good things. The events of our lives are a projection of what our inner landscapes look like. We are told to work on the feelings of what we wish to attract. This is important to the recent upheavals in the emotional landscape. I've had lots of little wins lately. Good news here, progress there, but for some reason I just haven't been feeling it. I haven't celebrated or appreciated it to the level that it really deserves.
The reason has been just like the mistake of thinking we'll be happy when we achieve a certain goal or condition I have been holding self approval and love on hold until certain benchmarks have been met. Yes I should know better. It can be very difficult to let go of our ideas of worth when we are surrounded by culture and media trying to sell us something so that we can be "good" enough. The "not good enough" meme is one of the most pervasive and persistent viruses in our collective consciousness. It is a gold mine to advertisers and brands. It is anathema to our joy. The goal post to achieve worthiness always moves. There is always room for improvement (I've got lifetimes worth of improvement left), but if we make that improvement a condition to love ourselves we never will, and we'll also slow down our progress.
Once I realized what I was withholding my mood improved significantly. So now I am tasked with loving myself as I am. This is nothing new. While earlier I felt I was whining about not being appreciated now I understand that no one could get in, I had shuttered up the internal appreciation office. (It had worse hours than the bank). The love clerk has been on sick leave due to supreme deprivation. It is back to work this week as far as I am concerned even with every shortcoming and as yet unmet goal I must give into loving myself.
So how about you? What insane conditions do you impose before you allow yourself to feel good about yourself? Do you have to lose five pounds until you can love your body? Do you need to be more successful financially to feel good? Do you need to lean less on others so you feel worthy of respect and love? Is someone in your life reinforcing these silly goal posts? Is someone withholding their love until you meet a standard. If so you have my permission to tell them to fuck off. Now you don't have to use those words, but I find them cathartic. If it is just you that is withholding love and approval perhaps a gentler approach is in order. Maybe you can say to yourself, "Oh sweetie what a quaint and stupid concept but I love you anyways." Try it out. Let me know how it goes.
Peace and Blessings,