I hope you are having weather as nice as we have had the past few days. We've had the summer warmth with the lingering crispness of spring in the air. I love the wind on a sunny day. That said it has been an emotional week.
Back from my travels to ULE I started this week a bit pooped. Lately it's been work work and work some more with nary an opportunity to play. You might think that with all my wizardy ways I never have to do much. (Oh you sad sweet little thing how little you know). It's actually the opposite. I am constantly involved in about five projects it seems. For the most part I don't mind, but lately I haven't had much social time with friends. There hasn't been a game night in months, nor a craft night either. I haven't been to the movies since January. All work and no play makes the Mooneagle an unhappy camper.
I know what you're thinking, "But Mooneagle you love your work. You should be just ecstatic to be doing what you love." True I do love my work. However for the last few months I have been doing a lot of beta testing, tweaking, and prepping for upcoming projects. As a result I haven't worked with new clients. This year has been a tough one for my business. While I understand that I am currently in a refining and upgrading phase for my skills (both artistic and healing work) the result is that I have been running around doing a lot for very little return. Don't get me wrong my bills are paid, I eat well, and I have a safe place to rest my head, however I haven't had any extra to go out and explore. As a result I've been feeling a bit undervalued and unappreciated not by the people around me, but by life in general.
So I've been down. It happens. It used to happen a lot more frequently. It used to be the space I lived in, the kingdom of Melancholy. It was something I spent years struggling to overcome. For the most part I have. A majority of the people who know me think of me as joyful, exuberant, and centered. Well like everybody I get down sometimes, I get scared, and I get pessimistic. I could view it as a personal failing given what I do. I am expected to be undaunted, unstoppable, and the rock of sanity. (Sanity, really people you must not be renting head space if you think that's what I'm about). The fact remains just like all of you I have my ups and downs. Many times I pick myself up and dust myself off, other times I need a hand up to get unstuck. (Thanks Sherry)!
So how about you? Do you beat yourself up when you're feeling blue? Do you beat yourself up for beating yourself up? Do you refuse to ask for help because you don't want people to see your vulnerability? Well here's a cosmic hand up to you. What would happen if you cut yourself some slack for feeling depressed? What if discouragement was your call to action, a trumpet to call in your friends and supporters? Try that paradigm shift on for size, and remember sometimes even wizards get the blues.
Peace and Blessings,