A few years back I began taking classes about the medicine wheel in the Andean tradition of shamanism. In that tradition we start always in the south. That is the place of the Sashamama, the mother serpent (or anaconda mama in street slang) she teaches us to shed our past. A lot of the medicine of the south is about letting go of old ideas and transmuting old wounds. One of our assignments was to uncover the biggest lie we ever told ourselves. That was the wound to be transmuted.
Now I've gone round the medicine wheel a few times and I continue to uncover old ideas that need to be shed to make peace with my past and move into my future. Recently in my musings I discovered one I had been harboring for decades. The lie goes something like this, "I am not strong." This originated from my childhood most likely because I was the youngest of several siblings. I was kind of small and I was never very good at sports. However the theme of not being strong evolved beyond the physical into the realms of mental and emotional reserves. It influenced my beliefs about how effective I could be in making decisions, being successful, and coping with the challenges of life.
Some people would agree that I am not strong. The funny thing is some of my biggest conflicts have been with people who have been afraid of my capabilities. They tended to try and play upon my lack of confidence in my own strength. Much of this I didn't realize until later. I've repeatedly rubbed a few people the wrong way energetically, and yet still deep down is this lie that I am not strong. In part this is due to societal views on what strength is, particularly for men. I don't heft huge weights, nor am I the one you think of when moving heavy furniture or appliances. Ironically I work in clay which happens to be a very physically demanding medium. I also own my own business and run a fairly successful Youtube channel. So what is the deal about not being strong?
Let's try an experiment. Think of someone who epitomizes strength. Don't try to be politically correct or deep just pick the first person that comes to mind when you think strong. So who was it? Was it a man or a woman? What are the attributes of that person? Whomever sprang to mind for you will tell you a lot about your concept of power.
So what about you? Do you think you're not strong? Is that your biggest lie that you've told yourself? Is your lie about not being beautiful, talented, or worthy? Whatever your biggest lie is you most likely have story around why it has to be true. Beware of telling that story every time you do you make it harder to realize the lie. How do you expunge the lie and begin to see the truth about yourself? You begin by recognizing the lie that's been running/ruining your life. Maybe you haven't ever consciously given it much thought, maybe it has just been a subconscious mirroring of cultural views. Start looking into how you define your core concepts of the ideals you value: power, beauty, talent, worthiness. Are these your definitions or are they somebody else's you just adopted? Whenever you shame yourself or speak negatively about yourself ask yourself simply, "Is this really true?" You'd be surprised how often the answer is no.
Peace and Blessings,