July had been a slow month until this week. (Thank you despacho ceremony). Slow enough that I had time to reflect on the past year and actually this phase of my life. The slowness of my business for three weeks had in one way been a blessing, as it gave me space to process some deep wounds. I also got some personal research and work done that will end up serving myself and clients well. I transmuted a lot of heavy feelings (okay yes I cried but you would've too). Still about a week before the upturn in client sessions I was getting down on how successful I perceived myself to be. I coined the phrase, "Ok Universe if you don't start supporting me, I'll break up with you and start seeing another Universe on the side." It was funny and actually I've been working more actively since with parallel universes. (There's lots to choose from). However it really occurred to me that the universe was supporting me with the extra time and space to process.
My clients sometimes think I am just this mellow guy who has it all worked out. The truth is I have my own challenges in both my personal and professional life. I am affected by the events of the world and everyday life. I am also affected by the collective idea of success. I grew up in the mainstream culture. There is a narrative about success. Basically we want everyone to recognize us and our work and pat us on the back. Sometimes we get that, whether it is in the form of more clients, more money, professional awards or acknowledgement. We won't always be recognized to the extent we think we "need" to be successful.
I got to thinking about how we measure our success. What if we changed it a bit? Is it enough for us to know that the work we do is of good quality if our needs are getting met? Are we confusing goal achievements or social adulations with success? I know I look at my youtube channel all the time seeing if I have new comments or how many views I have received in a week. I got so excited when I first hit 100,000 views. of course then I realized some videos top that in less than a few hours. It got me thinking about how well known I want to be. I basically just want to be known enough so that I can get to do the work I love doing and live comfortably. I wouldn't want to be like Oprah I wouldn't have privacy. I like to keep my life pretty insulated particularly because of the type of work I do. At the same time my ego is saying, "You fool be famous!" My ego wants to get into more exclusive places I guess. This is of course a bit premature, I'm nowhere near even a million hits on my youtube channel. Hmmm perhaps I should change the title of this blog to ramblings rather than musings.
Well let's break it down now for you. Do you consider yourself successful? How do you define success? Is your definition too narrow? Do you discount accomplishments just because others don't see them as special? Is success more important to you than happiness? What if happiness became part of your definition of success? Muse on those this week and let me know if you come up with anything.
Peace and Blessings,